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  • File : 1270774427.jpg-(127 KB, 633x880, Recovered_JPEG_1463.jpg)
    127 KB MAID QUEST Part VI: KNEE DEEP IN THE SPOOGE Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)20:53 No.9070998  
    WHAT HAS COME BEFORE:

    Part 1: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9047710/
    Part 2: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9050315/
    Part 3: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9052773/
    Part 4: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9054492/
    Part 5: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9055966/

    You are a young man who has suddenly come into an unexpected inheritance: a rather large mansion and a sizeable amount of money. However, your rather eccentric uncle has put a secret rider in his will: in order to inherit the money, you must:

    1. Repair the rather old and decaying house.
    2. Hire a full staff of maids to upkeep it.
    3. Have sex with at least three of them.

    Mansion Status:
    Facilities: Beachfront property
    Kitchen: Decent (2 of 5)
    Decor: Poor (1 of 5)
    Gardens: Poor (1 of 5)
    Repair: PERFECT (6 of 5)
    Beach: Average (3 of 5)

    Relationships:
    Reginald, Your Butler (Devoted)
    Samantha, Your Head Maid (Devoted) - LOVE
    Katherine, the redheaded trap-kun (Warm)

    Alicia, the tall, buxom, glasses Demon Goddess from Hell (Hostile)
    Felicia, the cute catgirl Hellbeast (Hostile)
    Jehanne, the Paladin of Bahamut.

    20 XP

    This is now day ?? of 30.

    Through a bunch of circumstances too complicated and annoying to recount here, you are in Hell, at the base of the Dildo-Tower of Lady Asmoday, Demoness of Lust.

    Party Members

    You, Equipped with: Borrowed Cape, +1 Longsword
    Jehanne, Paladin of Bahamut, Equipped with: +1 Bikini Plate, +1 Fullblade

    WHAT DO?
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)20:57 No.9071058
    Bump 1
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)20:58 No.9071093
    "OONST OONST OONST."
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)20:59 No.9071103
    It's BACK!

    Search out the first of the listed demons related to the seven deadly sins. Use the weapon they drop to kill the one that's weak to it. Repeat.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)20:59 No.9071109
    >>9059492
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)20:59 No.9071112
         File1270774766.jpg-(10 KB, 420x303, LeftyPortrait.jpg)
    10 KB
    >>9070998
    "Psst! Hey, bud...
    OONST OONST OONST."
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)20:59 No.9071120
    MORE OONSTING
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:00 No.9071130
    >>9070998
    OONTS OONTS OONTS
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:00 No.9071133
    Oonst oonst oonsting this motherfucker.

    Now, let's go resubjugate our big titted demon maid.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)21:00 No.9071136
    We left off as about to scale the side of the Tower to skip over the bosses to get to Asmoday. Suggest she (i think its Jehanne) goes first so you can 'catch her if she falls' also Upskirt/look up 'innocently' when possible
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:01 No.9071151
    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY IT'S BAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK

    First things first- pull off that cape and tie it around our waist like a kilt. Go into battle bare-chested, LIKE A BOSS.
    >> Goddamn Sandwitches 04/08/10(Thu)21:01 No.9071153
    >>9070998
    OONST OONST OONST
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:01 No.9071164
    >>9070998
    >+1 Bikini Plate

    RAAAAAGE
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:01 No.9071166
    >>9071136

    I doubt she's wearing a skirt. Armor.

    Also, we're immune to demons, so I say we go first.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:02 No.9071170
    What does any of this have to do with a M-80?
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)21:02 No.9071172
    >>9071151
    cmon broski, tripcode up
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)21:03 No.9071185
    True. Tie cloak around waist, and volunteer to go first like a man.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:04 No.9071216
    >>9071185

    YES. This way she can see up OUR skirt. Its totally what our character would do.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:04 No.9071217
    Ask Jehanne if she has a plan for dispatching Alicia. If not, offer self as bait to distract the super hot succubus.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:05 No.9071220
    >>9071172
    I would rather not.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:05 No.9071222
         File1270775113.png-(299 KB, 510x577, Kamina.png)
    299 KB
    Do not enter the tower. Instead, stand outside and loudly challenge any and all occupants to Mortal Kombat.

    Also, if the cape isn't red, make it red
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)21:05 No.9071236
    >>9071093

    SPECIAL FLAG ACTIVATED: THINLY VEILED FAP FICTION.

    The effects of this flag will be revealed at a later time.
    -----

    When you all left off, you were preparing to scale the tower to avoid the random encounters within and get to the upper floors where you can get straight to the boss fight.

    ATHLETICS CHECK, GO!

    > You: 6
    > Jehane: 24

    The two of you manage to start scaling the outside of the Dildo Tower of Doom. As you climb, you notice that what you had first believed to be statues, caryatids, and buttresses are, in fact, naked people glued, stapled, or otherwise attached to the outside of the tower, all engaging in some kind of act of coitus.

    You continue climbing. They don't seem to care. . .

    >>9071136

    As you continue up the tower, rather clumsily, compared to Jehanne's sure, strong movements, you take a moment to glance up and look up Jehanne's skirt.

    Yes, she does wear panties. They are baby blue.

    Jehanne doesn't seem to notice you peeping, she's too busy trying to avoid being spooged on by the tower "decorations."
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:06 No.9071239
    kick ass, time to bust out of hell
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:07 No.9071253
    >>9071236
    try to masturbate while climbing
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)21:07 No.9071258
    >>9071236
    continue on upward, taking peeps when you can, obviously becoming aroused
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:08 No.9071271
    >>9071236
    Have some goddamn dignity and keep climbing.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:08 No.9071284
    >>9071258

    nooo nooo that's what the kilt is for.

    having a RAGING BONER while running around in a kilt, with a sword, and barechested, is pretty much just part of the outfit.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:08 No.9071291
    >>9071236
    If we do well enough, we'll get to see more than her panties later. Keep climbing.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:09 No.9071308
    >>9071236

    Grab decorations to improve our mansion. Should boost us up to at least 3/5 or so.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:10 No.9071323
    Have sex with the tower while you climb.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:12 No.9071355
    >>9071323
    Does anyone have that dragon picture?
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)21:12 No.9071365
    SAVING THROW vs AROUSAL 5+

    > 3

    Despite, or perhaps because of, your best efforts, by the time you manage to make it to the first of the "ribbings" on the outside of the tower, you now have a raging stiffy. I won't decide on how well endowed you are, fill in that detail yourself, perverts.

    You manage to struggle up into the first of the three chambers that lead upwards to Alicia/Asmoday's private chambers, climbing over a naked girl getting spit-roasted to do so.

    Jehanne climbs up first. She glances around. "This is the anteroom to the chamber of the Guardians," she says. "From this point, we can climb outside no further. Now we must pass through the chambers of the Guardians."

    There is an empty marble room. There is a flight of stairs leading down and a huge pair of double doors leading forward.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:13 No.9071377
    Top of the tower already!

    We must have revenge on Alicia. We can't let any bitch get out of line. We have to keep the pimp hand strong and backhand that slut demon.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:13 No.9071384
    >>9071365
    Go down the stairs. We must explore the whole area to find all the loot before proceeding. It's a rule.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:14 No.9071391
    >>9071365
    Well, kick open the door.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:14 No.9071394
    >>9071365

    Can we untie/unstake/release any of the decorations? They might reward us in one capacity or another.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)21:14 No.9071396
    go first, blade ready, boner ready. Taunt any demon in there (or taunt everything except Jehanne) prove MANLINESS
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:14 No.9071397
    >>9071365

    defer to Jehenne's obvious combat powress here. Wait for her to bust open the main doors, then charge in screaming BRAAAAAAAAAAVEEEEEEEHEEEAAAAAARRRRRRRRRTTTTTTT
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:16 No.9071433
    Kick the door open and unleash witty one liner
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:16 No.9071445
         File1270775800.jpg-(6 KB, 248x306, ermey.jpg)
    6 KB
    >>9071365
    We have a hard on for us, because we kill everything we see
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:18 No.9071474
    wait- the seal means demons can't touch us, right?

    EXPLOIT THIS to defend Jehenne from being flanked!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:20 No.9071511
    >I won't decide on how well endowed you are, fill in that detail yourself, perverts

    Ok. We're 3 inches hard. Just to make things a challenge.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:20 No.9071516
    >>9071474

    Yup. We're going to use our immunity to troll the living fuck out of these demons. Be as obnoxious as we possibly can manage.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)21:20 No.9071517
    >>9071433
    >>9071397
    >>9071396
    >>9071391
    >>9071384

    Vote is in: Kick in the door and go in first.

    You run towards the doors and attempt to kick them down, screaming, "BRAAAVEHEAAAART!"

    . . . and you find yourself in a room of pitch black darkness.

    A moment later, the door closes behind you, and all is silent and darkness.

    You hear Jehane slowly sidle up behind you, putting a hand on your bare shoulder. "Are you there?" she asks.

    "I'm here."

    "We are in the chamber of the first of the guardians: the Mawler, Demon Minion of Lust," Jehanne reminds you. "Be careful, for it is said that he devours all in his path, and leaves nothing behind."

    As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you see that the blackness is not, in fact, merely due to shadow. The walls are actually made of polished obsidian, and the floor and ceiling of glass. Arcane blue runes, glowing dimly, provide the only light.

    WHAT DO?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:21 No.9071528
    >>9071517
    Find the nearest light switch. Flip it on.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:21 No.9071534
    >>9071517

    Mar one of the runes.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:22 No.9071557
    Sneak past
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:22 No.9071558
    >>9071534

    With cum.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:22 No.9071559
    >>9071517
    masturbate
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:22 No.9071572
    > "Be careful, for it is said that he devours all in his path, and leaves nothing behind."
    > " for it is said that he devours all in his path,"
    > "he"

    Lost interest. Next room!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:22 No.9071576
    >>9071517

    Tell Jehanne "If we make it out of this, I'm going to give you the hottest lawful dicking you can imagine. Only slightly hotter."
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:22 No.9071579
    >>9071517
    "Come out here and face me so I can stick my sword through your taint already."
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:23 No.9071590
    >>9071517
    >"We are in the chamber of the first of the guardians: the Mawler, Demon Minion of Lust," Jehanne reminds you. "Be careful, for it is said that he devours all in his path, and leaves nothing behind."
    Shouldn't that read:
    The first, The Mawler, is a demon of gluttony. It devours all in its path and swallows them whole.
    Gluttony makes more sense with all that devouring things whole.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:24 No.9071598
    >>9071534
    I agree, we should fuck up one of the runes.

    Try cum first since that'll get the boner out of the way. Yes, running around with one is awesome but damn if it isn't hard to fight while you've got a hardon
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)21:24 No.9071600
    >>9071590
    Gluttony, sorry :P

    +2 XP for catching the DM in a typo. Total is now 22.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:24 No.9071603
    >>9071559
    Second
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:24 No.9071605
    >>9071590
    Blowjobs.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:24 No.9071607
    >>9071517

    Charge forward boldly to scout the room; since we are (somewhat) immune.

    Like an HWP, right? We do the scoutan.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:26 No.9071660
    What were the runes again?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:26 No.9071662
    >>9071607
    Strangely the Penis armed HWP was never very effective in xcom
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:26 No.9071664
    >>9071600
    Thank you.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)21:27 No.9071669
    >>9071559
    >>9071598
    >>9071558
    >>9071534

    You reach a hand up under your kilt and start fapping furiously. Jehanne gives you an odd look. "Maybe if we deface the runes it will destroy the demon's power," you lie. Jehanne just shakes her head. She turns away, blushing and biting her lower lip.

    What with the climb, and one thing and another, and being aroused by seeing all sorts of porn on your way up, and also being not particularly good at sustaining power yet, you manage to cum within a few minutes. You groan and spurt your cum all over one of the glowing blue runes.

    You have you cum-stained a rune. You have accomplished much.

    "Did it work?" Jehanne asks, curiously. She is leaning up against a wall, and her legs are crossed, her face flushed.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:28 No.9071695
    >>9071669
    Well, if it got her aroused it wasn't wasted. .Continue onwards
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:28 No.9071704
    >>9071669

    "Dunno. You're a paladin, maybe you can tell if you look at it closely."
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:29 No.9071729
    >>9071669

    "If nothing else, it showed the minion of lust that I know how to play his game. Let's go."
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:29 No.9071731
    >>9071669
    "No idea. Wouldn't you know that kind of thing as a paladin?"
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:29 No.9071732
    Maybe we should work on corrupting the paladin after we escape hell. Making her all lusty and crap before facing the demoness of lust might be a bad plan unless we actually have a means of beating her alone.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:30 No.9071744
    >>9071669

    "It's glowing. I think the rune is horny."
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)21:30 No.9071754
    VOTE POINT!

    Press on, or stay and try to corrupt Jehanne some more?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:30 No.9071755
    By the way OP, did Alicia/Asmoday sign an employment contract with us or not? If so, this has potential.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:31 No.9071760
    >>9071732
    Yeah I think the penis can wait.
    The sword is good, the penis is evil, etc.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:31 No.9071766
    >>9071754

    Press on. We can press and corrupt at the same time. Yeah!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:31 No.9071771
    Defeat first
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:32 No.9071780
    >>9071754
    >>9071754

    DEPENDS- Will corrupting her lead to HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCES for this lovely lady? I.E. Punishment-wise?

    Or will it get her EJECTED from her noble order so we can hire her?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:32 No.9071792
    Challange the Mauler to an eating contest!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:32 No.9071799
    Press on. We can seduce/corrupt her later after we someone look badass against the demoness and escape hell.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:33 No.9071803
    Press on, we'll corrupt her in our mansion, in our comfy king-size bed
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:33 No.9071805
    >>9071780
    Well, we're in hell, so virtue is mystically important.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:33 No.9071812
         File1270776809.jpg-(40 KB, 640x805, 22_ppg_d.jpg)
    40 KB
    >>9071780

    >>Punishment-wise

    I'm okay with this.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:33 No.9071819
    >>9071780
    This is a valid question
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:34 No.9071841
    >>9071754
    press on for now, corrupt later
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)21:36 No.9071879
    Press on. ALSO
    >>9071517
    I thought it was Gluttony, and that Lust was Alicia
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)21:37 No.9071888
    >>9071755
    She would have signed the normal contract when she came on as a new hire, yes.

    -----
    >>9071760
    >>9071766
    >>9071771
    >>9071780
    -----
    Re: Jehanne: it occurs to you that this might actually be her doing the whole "Penitence" thing for a prior sin of lust. So yeah, falling to lust in the middle of a penitence quest to pay for a sin of lust might not exactly be the best way to prove that you've redeemed yourself. Any further punishments would depend on how her order feels about it. Suffice to say she probably couldn't go home again.

    You press on, down the darkened corridor. As you turn a corner, you see a dim, white light illuminating the hall in front of you.

    Suspended at about waist-height, turning slowly, are a series of marbled white spheres, glowing with an eerie white light. They seem to be spaced one every six feet, and they continue down the hallway as far as you can see. You can also see several branching hallways splitting off at right angles.

    The floor begins to rumble and vibrate.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:39 No.9071926
    >>9071888

    Begin singing the Welsh Battle song.

    MEN OF HARLOCH STOP YER DREAMING

    CAN'T YOU SEE THEIR SPEAR-POINTS GLEAM-ING

    SEEE THEIR WARRIOR PENNANTS STREAMING~

    TO THIS BATTLE-FIELD!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:40 No.9071957
    >>9071926
    FUCK YES!
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)21:41 No.9071982
    >>9071926

    You raise your sword and begin to sing a war-song. The sound of your singing raises your spirits and lifts your heart.

    It also helps to let whatever it is home in on you.

    You hear a low growl coming down from one of the side corridors, and the gnashing of massive teeth as something approaches, devouring all in its path. . .
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:42 No.9072006
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1K0JTb5or6c
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:42 No.9072009
    >>9071982

    Scream and run away.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:42 No.9072020
    >>9072009
    this
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:42 No.9072021
    >>9071982
    get out of you and Jahane out of its path.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:43 No.9072031
    Is it eating the marbles too? We may need a big plan, consult with paladin.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:43 No.9072033
    >>9071982
    Spout random Deep Speech I know from my academy years.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:43 No.9072039
    >>9071982
    You are a huge hungy monster! That means you have huge guts!

    RIP AND TEAR!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:43 No.9072040
    >>9071982

    Awesome! We won't have to hunt around for the fucker. Nod to Jehenne and indicate she should hide and/or flank while the big fucker homes in on/chases you.

    Also, don't stand there like a prat, fight + run when it gets close, let's not push that seal too far.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:44 No.9072046
    >>9071982
    um, kill it with our awesome powers? I dunno. Kinda wish we had a gun about now.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:44 No.9072049
    >>9071982
    Set to receive charge. If it wants to eat us, it can go fuckin' choke trying.
    >> Dimensionator 04/08/10(Thu)21:44 No.9072051
    >>9072009
    don't forget to flail your arms when doing this
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)21:45 No.9072063
    All right, VOTE POINT

    Stand and fight, or run like a bitch?

    Keep in mind that although Jehanne is a pretty strong fighter, you've got a sword that you're currently not proficient in.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:45 No.9072068
    >>9072009
    Like a little girl
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:45 No.9072076
    After running and screaming like a little bitch, circle around behind it and shove our sword in its ass, distracting it so Jehanne can land the killing blow.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:46 No.9072086
    >>9072063
    fight. Where are we going to run to.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:46 No.9072088
    >>9072076
    good compromise, bro
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:46 No.9072089
    >>9072063
    Run
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:46 No.9072090
    >>9072063

    Let it get closer, then RUN LIKE A BITCH.

    We're the bait. Jehenne is the FLANKER.

    No, not THAT flanker, Sukhoi. Down, girl.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:46 No.9072091
    >>9072076

    This sounds like something that could cause us to not die.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:46 No.9072097
    >>9072076
    Finally, a plan I...
    *Horatio*
    can get behind.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:46 No.9072101
    >>9072063
    [x]Stand and fight
    Let's try to have the monster focus on us, we've still got our demon protection after all. With the monster after us, Jehanne should be able to attack it without too much danger for herself.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)21:47 No.9072106
         File1270777648.jpg-(50 KB, 400x300, booze.jpg)
    50 KB
    Hang on a minute. . . this isn't working. I'm missing something. . .

    I know what it is. Hang on a minute and let me get some INSPIRATION
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:47 No.9072107
    >>9072097

    YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
    >> Anomymous. 04/08/10(Thu)21:47 No.9072109
    >>9071982
    Attempt to lead it in a circle so that it saws a hole in the floor cartoon-style with its devourings and falls down through the tower, devouring as it goes.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)21:47 No.9072111
    Fight, Call upon the lessons of MANLY from knowing Reginald.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:48 No.9072131
    >>9072063
    tell jehanne to fight it
    then run and hide
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:48 No.9072139
    Run around, hope that demon deal can save our ass for a while, even if it means shouting it to the minion? Hopefully Jehanne will spot a good chance to strike
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:48 No.9072148
    FIGHT!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:48 No.9072153
    >>9072097
    No more puns, they cost us badly needed exp.
    Also we don't have our sunglasses down here
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:49 No.9072163
    >>9072106

    >GM pauses halfway through quest to get booze

    This is why Maid Quest is Best Quest.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:49 No.9072169
    >>9072106
    Let's get eaten and cut our way out of it's belly.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:50 No.9072184
    Well if we are going to retreat we'd better do it with dignity.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:50 No.9072187
    >>9072169
    Not a bad plan if this hell is the kind of hell where your body just regenerates so you continue to suffer if demons want to torture you for eternity.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)21:50 No.9072189
    FUCK YES NOW I HAVE FUCKING BOOZE! BRING IT, YOU FAT BASTARDS!

    ----

    You call out to Jehane. "Wait here! I'll lead it around, then you hit it from behind!"

    "'Tis far too dangerous!" Jehane shouts. "Thou art. . ."

    "Don't worry, babe, I've got a plan!"

    You stand nonchalantly in the center of the corridor, waiting for the monster to approach.

    It comes around the corner, roaring at you with hunger. . . and it's FUCKING HORRIFYING. All you see is a massive, matted mass of yellow fur and an eyeless, gaping maw that opens and closes blindly, devouring all in its path, shattering the glowing white spheres and crushing them between its sharp, pointed teeth. You're not sure how it knows you're there, but the moment you start to move, it rushes towards you, screaming and howling it's horrible, bestial cry. . .

    WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:50 No.9072192
    Stand and fight.
    Also, I was only here in the first thread, Reginald isn't our uncle, is he?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:52 No.9072214
    >>9072192
    no, but he is bad-ass. Go read other threads nao!
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)21:52 No.9072215
    >>9072189
    i check my pockets for power Pellets before crying "WATCH OUT! GHOSTS! DEAR GOD GHOSTS!" and point behind it
    >> Abaddon 04/08/10(Thu)21:52 No.9072223
    >>9072189

    I love you.

    Lead pac-man towards the trap
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:52 No.9072228
    >>9072189
    PAC MAN.
    YOU MOTHERFUCKER.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:52 No.9072231
    >Glowing white spheres
    >WAKKA WAKKA

    Oh fuck me
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:53 No.9072237
    Put our kilt over head, wear a ghost disguise!!!!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:53 No.9072248
    >>9072231
    >Oh fuck me

    P...pervert! Don't get the wrong idea!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:53 No.9072250
    We're dead, hence in hell. Thus, we are a ghost. As long as it doesn't have any power pellets (which we would know because we'd turn blue) that thing is our bitch.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:53 No.9072254
    >>9072189
    Throw borrowed cape over head, turning you, to the monster, into a colored ghost.

    Then give chase.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:53 No.9072256
    Become ghost
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)21:53 No.9072258
    > Your Athletics Roll: 2
    > It's Attack Roll: 12

    As you turn to run, however, you have a spot of bad luck. . . you turn and slip on the glass floor, and tumble to the ground.

    The Mawler sweeps past you, continuing to roar it's battle cry. It snaps you up in its maw, severing your head and causing it to roll to a halt.

    Ignoring the rest of your body, it carries you away, continuing to devour white spheres as it blindly continues into the dark.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:54 No.9072261
    >>9072215
    Actually, we probably count as a ghost now. Eat him
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:54 No.9072262
    >>9072237
    THIS
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:54 No.9072263
    >>9072189
    Summon a Ghost.
    >> Dimensionator 04/08/10(Thu)21:54 No.9072266
    >>9072237
    do this
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:54 No.9072279
    >>9072214
    Too lazy.
    Also, FIND A SHEET!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:54 No.9072280
    >>9072258
    Well Fuck
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:55 No.9072289
    >>9072258
    err okay. Have our head call out to be picked up by Jehanne?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:55 No.9072293
         File1270778133.jpg-(265 KB, 400x400, 1206773614127.jpg)
    265 KB
    >>9072258
    FFFFFFFFFFF
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)21:55 No.9072294
    >>9072258
    use Sign Language: "I've had worse"
    proceed to eat way out of its stomach.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)21:55 No.9072295
    A moment later, by the way, the blue runes on the wall slowly change color to pink, red, cyan, and orange, as your decapitated head rolls to a halt at Jehanne's feet.

    "Thy plan is most. . . subtle," Jehanne admits.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:56 No.9072313
    >>9072295

    "Put me on one of those runes. I'm gonna ghost this motherfucker."
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:57 No.9072323
    >>9072295
    Being a disgusting nerd in hell, we've probably poisoned it with our horrible nerd body now.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)21:57 No.9072325
    Subtlety is how i do things.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:57 No.9072327
    Attach head to body
    continue as normal
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)21:58 No.9072342
    >>9072327

    Sorry, let me clarify.

    It ate your body and carried it away. Your head is now at Jehanne's feet. You can still talk and stuff. You just don't have a body at the moment.

    Also, that yellow bastard stole your kilt and sword.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:58 No.9072348
    >>9072313
    >>9072313

    THIS

    GHOST ARE NOTHING BUT HEADS ANYWAY

    also- white spheres? GM PLANNED THIS FROM THE BEGINNIG

    YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD NEVER CHANGE
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:58 No.9072355
    >>9072295

    "Oh, I'm just getting warmed up baby."

    Have our body tear away at its insides.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:59 No.9072364
    Tell Jehanne to put head on sword and whack him down!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)21:59 No.9072366
    >>9072313

    THIS.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:00 No.9072392
    Ask her to carry your head between her breasts ... so both her hands are free .. yes ... that way she can fight better ... uh-huh
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)22:00 No.9072395
    >>9072313
    thirded while saying
    "I've already planned for such occurances. such is the way of Reginald"
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:00 No.9072399
    >>9072342
    >Also, that yellow bastard stole your kilt and sword.

    screw that, he also took our Penis! Now it's on!
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:00 No.9072400
    "Put me on one of these runes," you snarl. "I'm gonna GHOST this motherfucker."

    Which rune do you choose? Pink, Blue, Red, or Orange?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:01 No.9072413
    Pink
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:01 No.9072416
    >>9072400
    Red or pink. The others are shit tier.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)22:01 No.9072417
    BLUE
    GO BINKY ON HIS ASS
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:01 No.9072419
    >>9072400
    Red
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:01 No.9072420
    >>9072400
    Motherfuckin' ORANGE.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:01 No.9072424
    >>9072400
    red ghost is best ghost, because it goes faster
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:02 No.9072426
    >>9072400
    pink

    definitely pink
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:02 No.9072430
    >>9072400
    Red it will make us go faster.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:02 No.9072442
    >>9072424
    Sounds good to me. Let's take red.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:03 No.9072453
    >>9072400
    GO RED!

    GO THREE TIMES FASTER!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:03 No.9072460
    >>9072430
    Was gonna say pink but then you reminded how RED is bettah
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:03 No.9072463
    My ghost is full of fuck.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:03 No.9072469
    >>9072463
    Those are the best.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:03 No.9072470
    >>9072424

    This is correct. Red.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:04 No.9072486
    RED IT IS!

    Jehanne shrugs as she touches your head to the Red Rune. Suddenly, in a flash of light, you find yourself with a new body: this one is basically just a red, conical form or a sheet trailing down from your neck. But it's something.

    Now able to continue under your own power, you race down the corridors towards the Mawler, howling for vengeance.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:05 No.9072498
    >>9072486

    "JEHANE! CHASE THAT BITCH INTO US!!!"

    Charge the fucker.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:05 No.9072503
    CHAAAAAAAAARGE
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:06 No.9072516
    SING THE SONG AGAIN IT WILL GO AT US LIKE BEFORE!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:06 No.9072519
         File1270778788.jpg-(13 KB, 300x268, 1263576742248.jpg)
    13 KB
    >>9072453

    Faster, you say?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:06 No.9072524
    >>9072486

    this quest is always throwing something new at you. I love you so much, Goshujin!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:06 No.9072525
    >>9072498
    This. This until it inevitably finds a power pellet.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:07 No.9072534
    >>9072486
    DOUBLE TEAM THE MOTHERFUCKER
    >> abaddon 04/08/10(Thu)22:07 No.9072542
    >>9072486
    Scream for vengeance. Scream for our body. Scream for the time we are wasting not masterbating!
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)22:08 No.9072556
    Create a trap around an extra large white sphere. Lurk near, near enough that you can strike it before it gets it
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:08 No.9072565
    >>9072498
    Great idea! I suggest we should do this.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:09 No.9072596
    >>9072542

    "Alright you giant toothy... thing. I could have escaped hell and be fucking this hot piece of ass here like a goddamn rabbit in heat, but noooooooo, you had to butt your damn face into my business. So now, you're going to get fucked. I'm going to fuck you fast. Then I'm going to fuck you hard. Then slow and gentile. AND THEN HARD AND FAST AGAIN!!!"

    All while chasing, naturally.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:11 No.9072615
    >>9072486
    Masturbate while running.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:11 No.9072622
    >>9072565

    Yes, yes! instruct our femme fatale to block off the side passages (the ones that scroll off the screen) while we go right for the motherfucker.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:11 No.9072626
    >>9072498

    This seems to be getting the most votes

    -----
    "Jehanne!" You shout. "CHASE THAT FUCKER INTO US!"

    "Umm. . . RIGHT!" Jehanne shouts, and she takes off in the opposite direction.

    You follow the Mawler at close range, howling vengeance as you race behind it. Normally, you probably wouldn't be able to catch up, but there are so few white spheres left that you've got a speed boost, allowing you to easily catch up to it.

    Sadly, as you approach the rendezvous point with Jehanne, you are suddenly reminded of a very important thing: Jehanne is not dead. She came to Hell directly, to fight Asmoday, and so she is technically not a ghost.

    Just before you reach the Mawler, it rounds the corner and pounces on Jehanne. . .

    > Her Attack Roll: 13
    > Its Attack Roll: 18

    . . .

    With a shriek and a scream, Jehanne suddenly disappears into the thing's mouth.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:11 No.9072628
    >>9072615
    But we don't have a penis at the moment :(
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:12 No.9072647
    >>9072626
    Oh well
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:12 No.9072650
    >>9072626
    Shit. Touch that fucker now, see if we can save her.

    Way to fuck up guys!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:13 No.9072655
    >>9072626

    No saving throw? Harsh.

    Kill it.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:13 No.9072656
    Well fuck.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:13 No.9072660
    >>9072650
    Seconded!
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)22:13 No.9072666
    FFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK!!!!!!

    "BLOOD AND THUNDER! ODIN GUIDE MY WEAPON INTO IT! VENGEANCE IS MINE!"
    KILL IT!!!!!!! AVENGE HER
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:13 No.9072667
    >>9072626
    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BigNo
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:13 No.9072669
    >>9072626

    Catch yellow bastard. Then rape.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:13 No.9072671
    >>9072626

    she has rolled... POORLY.

    Perhaps she lives on, perhaps not. Either way, the fucker had to have slowed to nom her, so let's GET DANGEROUS
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:14 No.9072678
    >>9072626
    Turn red(er) from rage and smite the fucker.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:14 No.9072679
    >>9072626
    Kill pac-man. Use favor points to keep the paladin chick alive.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:14 No.9072686
    >>9072650

    YES THIS. Touch it now. Hopefully she is still alive enough to lay on hands herself.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:14 No.9072692
    >>9072655
    Heimlich manuever!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:14 No.9072694
    >>9072666

    I STAB AT THEE, DAMNED WHALE!

    Officially the worst thing to say during sex ever.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:14 No.9072696
    >>9072626

    Ghost that fucker, save our Bitch!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:15 No.9072707
    >>9072626
    NOOOOOOOO!

    BURN FUCK XP TO SAVE HER!

    NOW!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:15 No.9072709
    Well, since it swallows her whole I think there is still time to save her.

    TOUCH THAT FUCKER!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:15 No.9072712
    >>9072626
    http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:15 No.9072729
    >>9072626
    Meh
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:16 No.9072742
    >>9072628
    >>9072650
    >>9072655
    >>9072660

    Screaming in rage, you manage to leap onto the fucker and pounce on it. Grabbing its upper and lower jaws in your powerful hands, you pry them open, and pull them apart farther and farther until, with a snap, they dislocate. The thing dies horribly whimpering in pain, before it vanishes.

    There is a flash of light, and you find yourself standing in an empty ante-chamber, in front of a pair of double doors.

    Also, Jehanne is laying on the floor in front of you. She is unconscious, and very naked. Her armor is gone.

    -----
    Jehanne suffered STRESS EXPLOSION
    Jehanne lost Costume # 43: Bikini Armor
    Jehanne switched to Costume # 15: Birthday Suit.

    You Cleared the First demon: GLUTTONY.

    +5 Experience!

    Total XP: 27
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:17 No.9072749
    Catch That Mother FUCKER!! RIP AND TEAR! ITS BIG! SO IT HAS BIG GUTS... allowing her to be swollowed without it chewing her up, leaving her alive.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:17 No.9072753
    >>9072742
    Wake her up. Tenderly.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:17 No.9072763
    >>9072742
    >naked

    Keikaku doori.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:17 No.9072765
    >>9072742

    Give the naked Jehanne some CPR.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:17 No.9072767
    >>9072742
    Try to find her some clothes. Is our kilt here somewhere in the entrails?

    Then watch over her till she awakes.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:17 No.9072768
    >>9072742
    Unconscious?
    Grope lovingly.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:18 No.9072772
    >>9072742

    Is my body back? I need that for things.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:18 No.9072774
    >>9072742

    Did we get our body back? Or did it get all melted like her armour?
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)22:18 No.9072777
    >>9072742
    Pick her up and shake her, accidentally groping her boobs in the process. hell KISS her to wake her up, but CRY while doing so. CRY like a little fucking bitch.
    Burn 3 xp to make it believeable
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:18 No.9072778
    >>9072742

    Do we still have a hard-on?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:18 No.9072784
    >>9072742
    Try to wake her, be glad we've masturbated a few minutes ago.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:18 No.9072786
    >>9072742
    Do what we always do and masturbate furiously.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:19 No.9072791
    >>9072777
    THISTHISTHIS
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:19 No.9072792
    >>9072742
    Check Jehanne's injuries and try to wake her up. Give the cloak back to her if we still have it
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:19 No.9072809
    >>9072777

    This sounds good.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:19 No.9072811
    >>9072767
    SAVING THROW vs. LOST EQUIPMENT: 3+

    > Jehanne's Sword: 6
    > Your Sword: 3
    > Your Kilt: 2

    You manage to find Jehanne's Sword and your Sword as well in the pile of goo that used to be the Mawler. You can't seem to find your kilt or Jehanne's Armor. Funny that, almost as if this whole thing was engineered by some pervert sitting behind a computer snickering with glee as he beats off to badly written fap porn.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:20 No.9072826
    >>9072774
    >>9072772

    Oh yes, your body is back, by the way.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:20 No.9072832
    Well, fuck, did we lose our shit too?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:20 No.9072834
    >>9072811
    >Funny that, almost as if this whole thing was engineered by some pervert sitting behind a computer snickering with glee as he beats off to badly written fap porn.
    Naw, that's ridiculous.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:21 No.9072843
    >>9072777

    Do this, then return the cloak she lent us. Our lechery will be counterbalanced by the awesome example of our butler.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:21 No.9072854
    >>9072811

    Well, we're the celts now. Cool.

    Wake her up, gently. Try not to be too pervy, but if she gets obviously embarrased and flustered at her nakedness, just use an appropriately smooth line like "You shouldn't be embarrassed, you have a beautiful body" or somesuch.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:21 No.9072856
    Anyway, eye up Jehanne
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:21 No.9072859
    >>9072811

    That's spiffy. Let's wake up Jehanne. Give her a big hug if at all possible. Unintentionally arousing.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)22:21 No.9072863
    sadly our kilt was our cape. =(
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:22 No.9072872
         File1270779750.png-(40 KB, 384x460, red_ghost.png)
    40 KB
    COME HERE MOTHERFUCKER
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:23 No.9072878
    >>9072854
    Brilliant. Do this!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:23 No.9072883
    >>9072834
    Yeah, no way that kind of thing could happen
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:23 No.9072888
    >>9072811

    Hold up, if we're both naked and we abstain from sex for now, does that mean we have control over our lust and thus have an advantage over asmoday?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:23 No.9072892
    So, what's she look like sans armor?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:25 No.9072910
    >>9072854
    This
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:25 No.9072911
    So I've never had Saint Pauli Girl's Beer before. I'm stealing it from my roommate because he drank half my bottle of fucking Grey Goose the other day. I don't know if it's a fair trade, but what the fuck, I'll take what I can. It's a decent lager, but I've had better.
    -----
    >>9072777

    "Jehanne! JEHANNE! JEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!" you scream, as you run to her side. You wipe monster slime off her face, kiss her tenderly, and start to shake her. "BREATHE! BREATHE DAMN IT! DON'T DIE ON ME!" you scream, coincidentally making sure to get a nice press of boob against your body as you do so.

    Jehanne coughs and spits out Monster Spittle as she comes back to consciousness. "Was that thy plan, good sir?" she sighs.

    With a sudden, very convincing wail, you wrap your arms around her and embrace her tight, hoping she doesn't notice that you're pressing boob against chest, or your growing hardon. Or maybe you don't care. Fucking pervert.

    +3 XP: total 24

    Jehanne gained 18 Relationship!

    Jehanne is now WARM (2 points to Trust)
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:25 No.9072924
    >>9072811
    If this is badly written fap porn then I demand an explicit description of our naked paladin friend
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:26 No.9072954
    If she gets embarrassed by her nakkidness remind her that you are in hell and that noone will care
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:26 No.9072956
    >>9072911
    Shouldn't that be -xp ?
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)22:26 No.9072957
    >>9072911
    step 1: make sure you're alright! then we'll go from there. Defeat demon 2 sounds good after that.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:27 No.9072967
    >>9072911
    >27 EXP +3 XP: total 24

    lol what?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:27 No.9072973
    >>9072911

    "The plan evolved as it went. But yeah, pretty much."

    "Kay, so what's the next demon?"
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:27 No.9072974
    >>9072911

    Wait, don't we have 30 now?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:27 No.9072979
    >>9072957
    Agreed
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:27 No.9072984
    >>9072911

    "Can you stand? We have little to do and so much time to do it in. Also, you are nude. Would you like my kilt to be your kilt too?"
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:28 No.9073003
    >>9072924

    This. Before anything else, this.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:28 No.9073011
    >>9072924
    >>9072892

    All right, let's get a description of naked Jehanne. Her skin is creamy white, and her long, blond hair has come loose of its hair clips, and is now soaking wet and matted around her shoulders. Although her body is toned and strong, it is not overly hard, and she still has some softness to her. Her legs are long and shapely, and her high, perky breasts are not particularly large, but certainly enough to be pleasantly soft. A little more than a nice handful, perhaps, and her pink nipples are standing up hard in the cool, empty chamber. It doesn't hurt that she's also soaking wet and covered in monster drool.

    And before anyone asks: yes, she does trim down there, it's a neatly trimmed wedge.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:29 No.9073025
    >>9072974

    32. +2 XP for catching the DM in a math error :P
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:29 No.9073030
    >>9073011

    Delicious.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:29 No.9073032
    >>9072911

    Tell her that it's better this way, as clothing just restricts movement.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)22:29 No.9073039
    >>9072967
    clear that up first is step 1. Then we comfort Jehanne and help her up. then ask her if she has any idea what the next demon will be like
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:29 No.9073040
    >>9073011
    I imagine that the fact of our nakedness is about to... come up. Brush it off carelessly with words about focusing on the mission.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:30 No.9073047
    Alright, onwards to next monster!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:30 No.9073049
    >>9073011

    Okay, it's time to get on our feet, sword up and go kick more monster ass.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:30 No.9073052
    >>9073011
    naturally blonde?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:31 No.9073068
    >>9073011
    Offer her a scrap of clothing to wipe herself off.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:32 No.9073100
    >>9073011

    "It's certainly a privilege to see all of your beauty like this, Jehanne."
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:32 No.9073101
    Think to self how this lust demon fails at being a lust demon. Possessing violent fucks that try to kill perfectly good mating material and being more or less nothing but a violent bitch makes her subpar. True sex demons don't actually care about things such as souls and personal power, they only care about having fun. Alicia must be punished for dirtying the reputation of Succubi!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:32 No.9073111
    >>9073011
    look for some cloth, maybe a tapestry, something we can use to clean us up and maybe adapt into clothing
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:34 No.9073135
    >>9070998

    Holy shit guys... part six already? Part 1 was, like, last night!?!!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:34 No.9073137
    >>9073011
    Wow. Way to be a PERVERT.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:34 No.9073150
    >>9073111

    Agreed. Tapestry Toga Time.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:35 No.9073162
    >>9073011
    >long, blond hair
    Yesterday you said she had short hair...
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:35 No.9073165
    >>9073052
    Quite.

    Given that the general tone of answers is to be gentlemanly. . .

    You manage to find a scrap of cloth among the wreckage, about the size of a handkerchief. You hand it to Jehanne. She starts using it to wipe herself off. She is blushing furiously now, and biting her lower lip HARD. She also seems to be reciting some kind of mantra under her breath over and over as she catches her breath and recovers from her ordeal.

    "Are you okay?" you ask tenderly.

    "I. . . I'll be fine," she sighs. "But my armor is gone."

    "I don't see the problem," you say. "You've got nothing to be ashamed of. You're quite beautiful."

    "Yes, but. . ." She suddenly turns her head away, her face blushing crimson. "You mustn't look at me so!"

    "Why not? Is it so bad to look at a beautiful woman?"

    "I am a harridan, a creature of lust," she whimpers. "I inspire men to lustful thoughts and lustful acts. I am not worthy of being a Paladin of Bahamut. . . that is why I must prove myself worthy."
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:35 No.9073180
    >>9073101
    Seriously, there was nothing sexy about the last monster. Ms. Pac-Man, sure, she's kinda sexy. And she swallows. But that thing wasn't sexy at all.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:36 No.9073194
    >>9073162
    Hmm, maybe the monster drool made it grow.
    >Perv mode active
    So does this mean she was shaved before?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:36 No.9073203
    >>9073165
    "Uh... not to contradict you, but those demons you've been killing are creatures of lust. You're just a normal sexy woman."
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:36 No.9073206
    >>9073162
    Retcon. :P Her hair is done up in a bun. But thank you. +1 XP. 31 Total.

    This will teach me to use random rolled-up characters on the fly. That's one of the strong points of MAID RPG and one of the weak ones: you can roll up a character in five minutes, but sonovabitch if you can remember all the details.

    Also Im on like my third fucking beer or something.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:37 No.9073216
    >>9073165
    Give her space; if we can prove a resistance, she'll be more intrigued. We can't fall over her now.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:37 No.9073217
    33 XP, even. FUCK.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)22:37 No.9073218
    >>9073165
    You're in hell. slaying demons. I think thats worthy enough. think about it. How many other paladins waltz down here to fight demons?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:37 No.9073224
    >>9073206
    Don't hit the bottle too hard man. I want 5 more parts tonight
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:37 No.9073228
    >>9073206
    I'm joining in on the drinking now. Cheers!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:38 No.9073236
    >>9073165
    "You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are."
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:38 No.9073241
    >>9073165

    "If anyone acts inappropriately because of your beauty, it's because they're wankers who can't control themselves. Anyone who tells you it's your fault is either stupid, lying, or trying to do you in."
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:38 No.9073261
         File1270780720.jpg-(109 KB, 800x600, Recovered_JPEG_128.jpg)
    109 KB
    I'll be fine. Just need a moment to take a piss and stuff.

    Also, let me know if this thread starts auto-saging.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:38 No.9073265
    >>9073206
    Copy stats to a document or take screen shots for reference when doing so.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:38 No.9073266
    >>9073165
    daww. Reassure her that there is nothing wrong with her beauty inspiring men. Continue to be gentlemanly. And onward!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:40 No.9073298
    >>9073165

    >>I inspire men to lustful thoughts and lustful acts.
    >>Paladin of Bahamut

    I see no problem with this. Kind of powergamer, but not gamebreaking.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:40 No.9073314
    >>9073228
    i've been drinking honey whiskey, but I left out the current glass long enough that it's started to congeal at the bottom. To the booze cabinet!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:40 No.9073327
    >>9073266

    For we are a gentleman... who has on only a kilt and is sporting an utterly massive erection.

    "...that happens all the time, honest."
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:41 No.9073339
    >>9073165

    "Is that all you're atoning for, or is there something more specific? You might as well spill it at this point."
    >> Harmless 04/08/10(Thu)22:41 No.9073340
    >>9073241
    this
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:41 No.9073349
    >>9073266
    >>9073241
    >>9073236
    >>9073218
    >>9073216
    >>9073203

    "You're not a demon of lust. You are a beautiful woman. It is those men who look at you with lust who should be doing penance," you say.

    "I don't know," Jehanne pouts, covering herself up as best she can with her arms. "I don't. . . I don't feel it is right for me to be so beautiful, if it inspires men to sin. Perhaps if I were to wear heavier, thicker armor. . ."

    "Maybe. But you are also a Paladin and you are down here fighting demons. Isn't that a worthy cause?"

    What with one thing and another, you manage to talk Jehanne down from her weepy fit. Your relationship with her is now TRUST.

    You are still in the antechamber to the Nightmare Demon. WHAT DO?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:42 No.9073361
    >>9073327
    Not even the kilt.
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)22:42 No.9073375
    Lead the way to the next demon. saying you can't risk losing her again, that you'd rather lose yourself
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:42 No.9073378
    >>9073349

    See that exit over there? We go to that.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:42 No.9073380
    >>9073349
    look for a way up
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:42 No.9073384
    >>9073349
    CHARGE!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:43 No.9073397
    Continue with the quest I guess
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:44 No.9073421
    >>9073384
    Seconding!

    ONWARD TO GLORY!!!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:44 No.9073427
    >>9073349

    Now that we've had girly-girly emotional time, it's time to pick up swords and CHARGE INTO BATTLE NAKED, LIKE THE CELTS!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:44 No.9073431
    >>9073349
    Take up our blades and move on to the next demon, I suppose. Which was next? Wrath?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:44 No.9073434
    >>9073349

    Make a pact with her. To prove that she is not a demon of lust, vow not to give in to any carnal desires while in asmoday's realm. We will protect her virtue, even if she doesn't believe she has any!
    >> Goddamn Sandwitches 04/08/10(Thu)22:44 No.9073437
    >>9073349
    LETS DO THIS!
    >> Goddamn Sandwitches 04/08/10(Thu)22:45 No.9073453
    >>9073434
    Oh, fuck, wait THIS.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:45 No.9073462
    We should probably aim to find her clothes if we can though. Her being naked against the demoness might go poorly for us unless us getting her to trust us means she'll be able to resist it.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:46 No.9073483
    >>9073349
    We play d&d, we already live the nightmare. Let's do this.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:47 No.9073501
    >>9073434
    This I like. Also, search for hidden doors/treasure/traps.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:47 No.9073512
    >>9073434
    Ingenious. I support it.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:47 No.9073519
    >>9073384
    >>9073380
    >>9073378
    >>9073375

    "Perhaps I had better go first," you say. You press on to the next door. You open it up for her, and push through. . .

    There is a flash of light.

    You are not naked any more, nor are you in hell. You are now standing in your DM's kitchen, wearing a T-shirt and jeans. Your usual Friday Night D&D group is sitting around the table.

    "You're late," the DM says. "That's going to be an XP penalty.

    "Don't be a dick," Tyler says. "He's only late by five minutes. Now, where were we?"

    "The group was getting ready to head down into Undermountain," Charles reminds you. "We're after the Gem of Sorrows. . ."

    "Actually," the DM says. "I was thinking that today we'd try something different."

    "Different?" you ask.

    "I found this cool RPG online," the DM explains. "I think it's right up our alley. . ."

    He touches a few buttons on his laptop computer and turns it around.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:48 No.9073523
    >>9073427

    And let's see if we can't manage to paint ourselves blue before we do!
    >> Harmless 04/08/10(Thu)22:48 No.9073532
    >>9073434
    +1
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:48 No.9073534
         File1270781309.jpg-(127 KB, 704x910, New canvas.jpg)
    127 KB
    This is what you see.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:48 No.9073550
    >>9073519
    Head explosion.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:49 No.9073552
    ...remind me what the hell the second demon was?
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:49 No.9073554
    >>9073519

    in b4 FATAL
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:49 No.9073557
    >>9073165
    There is no sin where one does not harm others. If others find themselves thinking bad thoughts about you, it shows that they, and not you, are the ones who need improving.
    >> Goddamn Sandwitches 04/08/10(Thu)22:49 No.9073558
    >>9073534
    RESIT IT! RESIT IT!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:49 No.9073559
    >>9073534
    >>9073519

    THIS IS THE TEST OF WRATH
    WE MUST NOT GIVE IN
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:49 No.9073562
    >>9073519

    It's FATAL, isn't it? the dream's tricking us into Raping our Emotionally-scarred paladin Chick.

    WILL SAVES TO RESIST!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:49 No.9073564
    >>9073519
    Wake up! This is a dream! Wake up!
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:49 No.9073568
    >>9073534
    Punch the GM. Only proper response. The other players will thank us for it.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:49 No.9073576
    >>9073519
    >>9073534

    And thus did Goshujin-Sama start using a tripcode.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:49 No.9073582
    >>9073519
    Er WTF?
    And grab mountain dew and Cheetos
    >> Reswald !!HB3QBM8WHHJ 04/08/10(Thu)22:50 No.9073584
    I bust out my Pre-made FATAL character sheet. i've been waiting for this day.

    Male Anakim.
    6'7" with a 9.5" dong.
    women ejaculate at my touch.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:50 No.9073587
         File1270781412.jpg-(68 KB, 475x302, FearAndLoathing2.jpg)
    68 KB
    >>9073534
    Proclaim "Fucking Bats".
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:50 No.9073588
    >>9073552

    Sloth demon that puts you to sleep and gives you nightmares.

    But.

    Total nerd? Check.

    Total pervert? Check.

    Utterly shameless and pathetic? Check.

    FATAL HOLDS NO HORROR FOR US, DEMON! NOW, YOU WILL BE CRUSHED!!!!
    >> Harmless 04/08/10(Thu)22:50 No.9073592
    get up from table.
    walk away.
    go home.
    go to bed.
    attempt to wake up from this nightmare.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:50 No.9073595
    >>9073534
    "Sounds wonderful, but I'd rather finish our current campaign than start a new one none of us have played."
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:50 No.9073597
         File1270781435.jpg-(39 KB, 217x208, 1268190869452.jpg)
    39 KB
    >>9073519
    MY BRAIN IS FULL OF FUCK
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:51 No.9073620
    >>9073534
    >>9073519

    Meh. I've seen worse.

    THIS IS SPARTA the demon.
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:51 No.9073628
    IT IS THE MINDTRICKERY OF THE DEMON!

    Pull yourself back to reality
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:52 No.9073635
    >>9073552
    Checked the last thread. Nightmare, Demon of Sloth. Makes sense that it would be a neckbeard playing FATAL.
    >> Goshujin-Sama 04/08/10(Thu)22:52 No.9073644
         File1270781552.jpg-(78 KB, 797x1059, Recovered_JPEG Digital Camera_(...).jpg)
    78 KB
    Thread autosaging. New thread is here.

    >>9073610

    I'd appreciate if someone could archive this one :)
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:53 No.9073657
    Kill the DM, it's obviously the demon
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:53 No.9073674
    Vanquish the demon
    *advicemaster*
    Shave his neckbeard
    >> Anonymous 04/08/10(Thu)22:54 No.9073692
    >>9073635

    But this makes no sense! The rules of FATAL are so convoluted that it would require immense amounts of work to even get past character creation!



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