rolled 34 = 34

>>8839618
Get outta da valley and try to surround da tanks wit da boyz!

Chek on da boyz in da shooty tank and see if they can get set to get some dakka on da 'umie tanks.

rolled 35 = 35

Get Grotlikka to go to the Shoota Tank and see what the hell's going on, try to get it fixed up and reddy. In the meantime, pile back into the vehicles and use some of the little shootas to stave off the Immolators while slowly backing up.

rolled 14 = 14

>>8839618
Charge da 'umie tankz! Iz Waaaaaagghh time, boyz!

rolled 4 = 4

>>8839652

This.

Also, we'ze got to get sum rokkit launchaz or sumfink fer bustin' tanks. Doese 'umie skorcha tanks are gettin' on me nerves.

rolled 41 = 41

>>8839675

Yeah, this, but aim to get out of the valley too. Hell, we could even send some shoota boys to the top of the valley real quick-like to shoot down at dem 'umies.

rolled 98 = 98

Wow, these are some terrible rolls.

rolled 89 = 89

>>8839679
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHH!

>>8839710

Nuts to you.

>>8839710

Nevermind.

rolled 64 = 64

>>8839710
IRONY.

>>8839770
WHERE? WE NEEDS SOME METAL TO PATCH UP DA SHOOTY TANK.

>>8839781
I SEE WUT YA DID DERE YA STOOPID GIT!

"I'm onnit Boss!" Grotlikka obeys, waddling off to the shooty tank as fast as he could manage. He opens the door in the back, disappears for a moment and then pops out of the gunner seat. "Deyz not lookin' too good, boss. I've got da dakka though!"

You and the boyz hop on the buggy again and retreat back behind the shooty tank. Meanwhile, your burny tank is returning fire with the three closing in on you. Pretty soon the gunner will have to duck inside to avoid getting toasted.

Grotlikka starts to open fire on the immolators. "C'mon if you fink you're orky enuff!" He doesn't really do any damage, but once they get closer he might be able to hit the gunners.

rolled 10 = 10

Send some shoota boyz out the valley and up to the top of the ridge to shoot down at the Immolators.

rolled 100 = 100

>>8839802
Dammit Grotlikka. They're not open-topped.

>>8839792
Bak out da pass so we's can surround them wiffout gettin all burnt up! Send a boy ova to drive da shooty tank for Grot so he doesn't get left behind.

rolled 36 = 36

>>8839823

Goddamn. *tear* Why couldn't you have suggested an action, man?

>>8839823
Don't be so sure.

>>8839820
You only have burna and choppa boyz, sadly. Getting any of them out of the valley and to the top of the ridge will take too long, too.

rolled 78 = 78

>>8839871
get out da valley and surround them when theys comin afta us so we's dont get all burnt up.

rolled 44 = 44

>>8839871
Charge da 'umiez alreddy! Waaaaaaggh!

Thankin' Gork (or wozzit Mork?) for Grotlikka's cunnin' brutality, you tell one of your boyz to run over and get the shooty tank moving. You tell your driver to do the same, and hope that the burny tank knows to follow along.

The buggy speeds out of the valley. It takes longer for the tanks to manouvere and the blood-paint they were covered with is has turned a dirty brown from the flames licking at it.

Once in the open valley you have to make a choice to run for it or try to fight. Running should be almost guaranteed to keep you alive, but you can only get the loot if you do something about those tanks. What now?

rolled 21 = 21

EVERY BOY PICK UP AN EVISCERATOR AND BUM-RUSH THE TANKS

rolled 64 = 64

>>8839970
CHARGE! CHOP! SMASH! WAAAAAAGGH!

rolled 32 = 32

>>8839970
If we're out of the valley, and the Immolators are following, then we're at the mouth, and they're not.

All the tanks get on one side of the mouth, then as the Immolators come out, ram them full-speed from the side.

Runnin is for grots, once your outa the valley turn the burney tank around and ram them from the side as they come out then gunum down with ya shoota

rolled 23 = 23

Ramming speed! If you can hit them hard enough to stun the enemy crews then your burna boys can take out the immolator gunners, making them unable to shoot. After that it's just an ork swarm cleanup.

rolled 53 = 53

>>8839970
haff da two tanks back up to da sides of da valley were dey can slam dem 'umie gits from da sidez while we in da buggy act like we'z buggin out. Den when dey iz about to hit da 'umies good we rush bak and give 'em som dakka!

rolled 12 = 12

>>8839984

Really Bad Idea.
Continue backing up in time wif da Immolators, letting Grotlikka try to shoot some more. If we can't start picking off the guys up top, then we might have to zog off.

rolled 94 = 94

>>8840045
YOU GITZ AIN'T ORKZ, WE'ZE GUNNA CHARGE DA 'UMIES AN* WE'ZE GUNNA CHOP DEM TA PIECES!

Your convoy rushes out of the valley, turning to the left around the corner. You order them to turn around ram when the 'umie tanks appear...but it just doesn't seem to work. Your burny tank slams into the back of your buggy, stalling both, while your shooty tank can't turn around in time at all. You are around the corner, but there's not a lot of good that it will do you.

Your boyz look around, not wanting to face burnas armed only with choppas. Again. You tell them to pull away from the burna tank but it seems that the wheel is stuck. Seems like it's time to hop out or put your faith in Grotlikka.

rolled 20 = 20

>>8840012

Dis iz Orky, an' da proppa way ta do it.

rolled 15 = 15

>>8840077
All Orks not in the shooty tank, scatter and hide. When the Immolators come round the corner, Grotlikka opens fire as a distraction and the Orks rush out, climb the Immolators, and take out the guys on top.

rolled 41 = 41

>>8840077
GROTLIKKA CAN DO IT! HE'Z A CLEVA GIT AN'LL GET US BAK TO SMASHIN' DEEZ 'UMIE GITZ!

rolled 95 = 95

>>8840114
DIS IS BRUTAL AN' CUNNIN'.

rolled 42 = 42

>>8840114

This might be the best plan we have.
It's pretty Orky, too.

In short, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

rolled 15 = 15

>>8840077
Do a roit proppa rousin' speech ta da Boyz an' then Charge da 'umies when they appear.

>>8840140
WAAAAAAAGH! DAT ROLL IZ GUNNA KILL MANY A 'UMIE GIT!

RUN AWAYAYAYAYAY to much burny

rolled 14 = 14

OP, maybe you should start doing the rolls on a randnum generator? You can still let our rolls affect it, but that way we wouldn't choose something just because it had the best roll.

f5 f5 f5 f5 f5 f5

Before the order was even out of ya gob the boyz had poured out of the buggy and burny tank and hidden behind a bunch of boulders and in sandpits further back. You tell Grotlikka to stay where he is and shoot 'em so the uvver boyz can be all sneaky like and surprise 'em.

Unfortunately, before you can hide the immolators roll into view and start to bathe the area in flames. If you had a squig-wig, it woulda got singed off, but luckily you didn't so it was only your scalp that got a bit burnt before you dived behind the burny kart.

Grotlikka opens fire on the gunners and does some good. One of the guns is hit directly by a burst, mangling it and causes it to shoot flames directly down the front of the tank. A second is missed entirely, while the third's gunner ducks for cover, scarcely avoiding a burst of bullets.

>>8840196
Not a bad idea at all. I had noticed people just kept rolling again and again to balance out bad rolls. I will try to do a bit of both, depending.

rolled 55 = 55

>>8840284
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

rolled 95 = 95

>>8840284
Now ya gits, WAAAGH!

rolled 70 = 70

>>8840284
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

>>8840328
I support this option.
>>8840318
I do not support this option.

>>8840351
This one's good as well.
>>8840196
That's terrible, however.

rolled 100 = 100

>>8840355

LOL.

rolled 9 = 9

>>8840328
here.
Change my order to the
>>8840318

another wasted 100.....

rolled 67 = 67

>>8840378
DAMN YOU DICE GODS.

WHY MUST YOU TAUNT US SO?

>>8840378
Laughing out loud so hard the enemies spontaneously turn into orks would be also good.

>>8840496
YES. DO IT. NAOH!

As ferociously as an Ork can manage while hiding from an enemy, you call out for a Waaagh and your boyz, obediently but perhaps not enthusiastically, obey.

Grotlikka carries on firing, not managing kill the other two gunners but does succeed in making them close up the hatch.

Your boyz climbed onto the three tanks at once. You join the nearest one and rip the top hatch open for them, but are knocked back when a bolter shell rips through the edge of your iron gob. You hear a burst of other rounds fired and know that the other hatch-openers received the same greeting.

'umies in tight spaces are no match for burnas though, and your boyz are quick to aim into the hatch and start barbecuing. Screams fill the air, the agony of promethium immolation too much for even the most devout of the Emperor's servants to bear in silence.

rolled 55 = 55

>>8840551
We's gonna loot de's tanks and take 'em back to da mekboyz fer repairs!

rolled 30 = 30

>>8840551
Make sure they are extra crispy.

Then loot 'em.

>>8840551
START DA LOOTIN! TAKE DEM 'UMIE TANKS FOR OURZ SINCE DEY IS IN BETTER SHAPE!

LOOTIN TIME, another victory for da boss

rolled 27 = 27

>>8840582
Don't forget to loot the SissyNawt and all dem 'umies we ran ovah. We's gonna have lotsa loot!

>>8840582
We're not gonna drag the lot of those tanks back to da mekshops again. We're here ta help out da baus, remebah gits!

rolled 44 = 44

>>8840619
No we ain't. We was gonna assault an 'umie camp!

rolled 73 = 73

>>8840619
We needs dem tanks ta help da boss! If we don't loots 'em, some other git will!

>>8840635
But we din't even get a mekboy wit'us!

rolled 87 = 87

>>8840673
Wut da OP-Bawss said iz wut I'm goin' wit, yoo git.

We'z gonna lootin everything we can, rip off all the parts abnd stuff and getum in our burny tank

spread out and look if there's more humies near

rolled 91 = 91

Loot everything and do some minor repairs wherever applicable.

"Boss Bakkhakker is da biggest and da meanest!"
"Waaagh!"
"Even more gubbinz!"

Your boyz spend awhile cheering and congratulating their Boss on anuvver job well done before actually surveying the spoils.

Three more tanks, a girlynaught and at least 10 working 'umie big choppas.

Even if you are getting a little arrogant, it's easy to see why. Barely a week old and there are already a handful of victories under your belt, and enough loot to make a flash git envious.

There are some problems though. The burnas on two of the tanks are completely busted, all three are peppered with holes. The interior is scorched, and chances are it will take a while to get the smell and goo of melted 'umie out of them. The girlynaught has a broken leg and it will take some serious reworking for an ork to be okay controlling it.

You've also lost four boyz, and three more are in pretty bad shape.

What do?

rolled 91 = 91

>>8840854
Go back to camp with out loot, get teef out of the dead boyz, and try to get the mekboyz to repair as much as they can. Also when back at camp, try to find some boyz without a boss and take 'em.

>>8840890
*our loot

>>8840890
If anyone's missing limbs, see if we can't do a terribad job of grafting 'em on from da ded boyz. Burnas work as welders in a pinch, don't they?

rolled 95 = 95

>>8840854
Send Grotlikka and two of the most loyal boyz back to the camp in the Kart with two gobz to hire a Mad Dok and a Mek Boy, promising more loot and gubbinz to come.

>>8840854
Leave the dead boyz, dey'z just gonna take up space. Get the wounded ones inna tank and leave the rest to guard the loot while we get back to da camp. We gets a mekboy out here wiv some trukks 'n fings to help us haul the loot back. Den we 'ave 'im orkify the girlynawt and one of da new tanks, and fix our old wheelz. We'z short on teef though, so we givez 'im the two new humie tanks wot's beat up the worst fer payment.

Den we give the dok some of those humie choppas and have him fix up the wounded boyz (he'll probly fink they'z scalpels, hurr hurr).

rolled 65 = 65

>>8840854
A girlynaught, eh? Make sure to loot that and get a Mek to use it to make us dead killy.

rolled 100 = 100

>>8841124
Use all resources to make yourself embedded into the Penitent Engine

(Two of you have said to wait for the mekboy to come out here, but honestly that would take a few hours and they wouldn't be able to work on anything without their workshops. Hope you don't mind the minor railroading of saying you all go back to camp for now.)

Ripping out the teef and throwing out the dead bodies doesn't take long, though cutting the girlynaught in half so that it can be strapped to the two tanks is a bit of a timesink. You order all of the bodies to be left behind - the 'umies are too toasted to be useful for anything, and dragging back dead Orkz won't help with recruiting other boyz.

With six vehicles and only 10 of you in any shape to drive, one boy is assigned to drive each tank while you and Grotlikka take the shooty tank with the sick boys and the 'umie choppas. The remaining boyz pile on extra in the BumpWaaagh Kart, after a brief scuffle over who gets to ride in front with the driver.

Back at the camp it's night time, though that hasn't exactly quietened things down. There isn't room for you to bring all of your vehicles to the mek workshop, so you leave the older ones outside and bring your new loot to the mek boyz again. They don't look thrilled to see you, but aren't surprised either.

"I don't think wez like havin' to work so hard on wot you bring in. I fink in future you shouldn't mess it up so much!" one of them starts yelling at you, looking at the heavily damaged 'umie tanks. As he spots the diassembled girlynaught though his eyes light up. "Dat looks very intrestin' though. You gonna sell it? The girlynaught?"

rolled 86 = 86

>>8841306
FUCK YES THAT IS AN AWESOME ROLL.

>>8841306
FUCK YEAR!

rolled 100 = 100

>>8841314
'Ow... ow about we makes a deal? Da boss isn't gonna like all dis shooty gubbinz we're bringing back.

Me and my boyz are thinkin' a smashin a humie base. 'Ows you like a whole mekshop of yer own?

rolled 98 = 98

>>8841314
FUCK NO WE ARE NOT SELLING IT.

WE ARE GOING TO USE IT TO MAKE US AWESOME.

rolled 47 = 47

>>8841314
Like zog we're gonna sell the girlynaught! Give 'em a couple of the tanks, we've already got plenty of those.

>>8841314
sell the naught!!!!! SELL IT!

>>8841306
WAAAAAGHH! NOW WE'ZE GUNNA BE DEAD 'ARD AN' KILLY!

rolled 95 = 95

>>8841306
>>8841347
>>8841384
>>8841391
LOOK AT ALL THESE GOOD ROLLS.

DAMN. THANK GORK AND MORK.

>>8841391
>>8841347
>>8841306
FUCK YES, THREE GODLY ROLLS IN FAVOR OF AWESOME

(A100, 86, 100 and 98? Toofsum Bakkhakker is blessed by Gork! Or wozzit Mork? Hmm...)

Your proposition to the mekboy seems to have intrigued him a lot. The other meks don't seem to work nights, so it's only grots that have any danger of ratting you both out - and of course, they are easily dealt with.

"Now wot ya want me to believe is dat if I go wiv you, you're gonna giv me my own workshop? Hmmm." he looks over to the pentinent engine, and then to all the busted up tanks. "Dat girlynaught looks like it could be dead killy. I could do pretty much anyfing you want wiv dat. Best mekboy around, me. But you muck up your tanks too much. I need a buncha grots to do the borin' fixin' jobs. You needa give me 'em too."

git out da dakka dakka dakka and watch um buuurn

rolled 80 = 80

>>8841540
DUN' WORRY, WEZ GETZ DA GROTZ AN' YOU GETZ DA DAKKA AN' CHOPPA.

AN' A BURNA. ADD A BURNA. PUT A BURNA ON TOP OF A CHOPPA ARM, SO WEZ CAN BURN WHILE WEZ CHOP. AND A SHOOTA ON DA OVA ARM.

rolled 92 = 92

>>8841540
OI! GROTZ! WHICHA LIKE FIGHTIN WITH MORE: CHOPPAZ OR FLASH DAKKA? Yer c'n either have keep yer weedy choppaz. Or... I've got me plenty of dakka.

Wez gonna have a dakka rev'lution goin' on 'ere.

>>8841660
Dammit why do I never roll like this in combat

>>8841627
WE'S GONNA GET'S BURNA AN' CHOPPY. DA WARBOSS AIN'T GUNNA LIKE DIS, BUT WE'S GOTTA BE ORKY.

The grots in the work shriek and bounce and swarm as they move out from their hiding spots and chores. About 20 of them appeared behind the mek boy, and he looked at them with a nasty grin.

"Dis 'erez Toofsum Bakkhakker. He's Toofsum 'cause he's got some teef, and he's Bakkhakker 'cause he likes to go for walks in the mountain. I'm workin' for 'im now and you are too - gottit, ya muck 'eads?"

The swarm seems nervous, but agrees. Even if the Warboss or Nobz do find out, you will probably squash 'em now if they don't agree, and dying later is better than sooner. The mekboy turns to you again.

"Wait a minute. Howa you gonna get me a workshop anyway? You are barely even a boy, even if you do have lots of flash gubbinz."

rolled 73 = 73

>>8841810
WE'S GONNA TAKE DA 'UMIE BASE AND DA MEKBOY CAN USE THAT FOR HIS SHOP.

>>8841810
Heh. Well, I'm no mekboy, but I figger those humies got some damn good dakka in their armouries, and the gubbins to do that stuff up.

We'z got all these shot up tonks that aren't good fer much but moving stuff around since their dakka is busted. Now, what'dya get if yer put em together?

Dats wite, we're gonna loot a whole 'humie armoury buildin'!

rolled 56 = 56

>>8841810
WEZ GONNA GET IT DA ORKY WAY.

WE GONNA LOOT IT.

>>8841871
Plus dey'z probly got some real ded-killy machines up there we can loot, like one a dem land raider fings. Maybe even some more girlynawts.

>>8841928
If we'z get one of those supa-evy's we'z might as well dump the whole armoury on it. MOBILE MEKSHOP.

I fink we needs to find that nob, what knocked our teef out in the first place, waaaay back like ten days ago, and giff him sumphink. Tell em' we's donatin to da Waaaaaagh effort.

Dat way da big bosses see we aint mukin about, AND don't come knockin our gobs off thinkin we's trying to become warboss. ....yet.

"A 'umie base? Theyz got a lot of dakka. Theyz burny humans right?" He cackles and slaps his cyborknetic knee. "Yeah, I'm in. Call me Gutwort. Listen tho', we'z gotta keep this quiet till we leave. Nobz are already suspicious of you and all the teef you got. Sum fink you been makin' deals with the gits or 'umies. The uvverz just wanna klobba ya and take your loot."

He turns around and glares at the grotz. "Any of you move, even wunna yuz, I'm gonna stomp on the rest! Now, Toofsum - err, Boss, hurhur - what can I do ta help?"

rolled 63 = 63

>>8842038
Suddenly remember that the shooty tank had a good driver we better find that git.

>>8842038
yay a new friend joins our cause!

>>8842038
Sum fink you been makin' deals with the gits or 'umies

lets try this.

rolled 21 = 21

We got a bunch of them GIANT CHAIN CHOPPAS rright!? Let's PUT THEM ALL OVER OUR TRUKK or.. the SHOOTY TANK. We'd be DEAD KILLY. Just turn em' on and START SMASHING AND CHOPPIN AND SHOOTIN HUMIES!

>>8842150
Pfft, the only ting dem 'umies is gettin' from us is a choppa in da face!

>>8842038
We need the new tanks up and running asap. Have him put the grotz to work on that. If any had their guns busted, get some rokkits on in their place. We're badly in need of rokkits.

Meanwhile, he can go nuts on the girlynaught. It's plenty choppy and burny already, just needs some dakka and armor to be good and orky.

FUCK YES YOU ARE THE BEST QUEST THREAD EVER

>>8842038
Right-y.

Swing by the yoof pits, grab a load of boyz. We'z take em in nice and small and toughen em up. We'z got enough dakka to arm em, they're not gonna be the toughest of boyz but we'll take numbers first. "Yer can go wit' the Nobz if yez want but all you'd be gettin is a bunch of waitin'. 'Ow about you come with me and get stuck in right now?"

After we've done recruitin, we're going out. Tell Gutwort to get his stuff in one of the better repaired scrappy tanks and get ready to go.

rolled 50 = 50

>>8842038
I'ZE WANT MESELF GRAFTED INTO DAT DERE 'UMIE KILLA KAN THIN'

>>8842205
no, noone outside our group must know, they'll tell big boss

rolled 37 = 37

>>8842233
We need boyz, more boyz means more loot, more loot means more boyz!

rolled 66 = 66

>>8842038
>what can I do ta help?"
MAKE DEM THINGS WORK AGAIN AN MAKE EM DED KILLY. DEN YA GET EVERYFIN YOU CAN REDY FER A FOIGHT.

NOW I GOTTA GET DA BOYZ REDY SO YOU FIX THIS UP.

If this helps you decide, another reminder of your current inventory.

Your Stuff
-6 gobz of teef
-A nice chomby iron gob
-big nasty choppa
-some 'eavy armor

Loot
-10 Eviscerators
-Extra fast BumpWaaagh Kart. Fits 5. No gun
-4 burny tanks. One is reinforced.
-1 shooty tank. Reinforced.

Followers
-Grotlikka. Has a power klaw. Ever so slightly cowardly for an Ork, but very loyal.
-Gutwort. Mekboy. Not yet proven loyal, but says he is talented with dakka and karts.
-11 boyz armed with burnas. 3 are wounded.
-20 grots.

>>8842156
Stick a few on the BumpWAAAGH Kart, then give the rest to the boyz wot aren't using burnas.

And maybe save a couple for our new mek to make a right killy power klaw out of. If we'z gonna be a nob, we'z gonna get armed like a nob.

>>8842233
Tha boss is all the way over fightin' the humies. We're gonna get ourselves some decent wartrukks and gonna flank da humies bigtime. I'm sure da boss won't mind that much.

>>8842270
Ok some boyz but not all of em. If da otha boss knows we'z gunna get stomped.

rolled 42 = 42

>>8842295
AN' DA GIRLY-NAUGHT.

>>8842295
Leave tha injured at camp, trade in the broken tanks, give 'em a few teef to get patched up on their own.

seriously loving how quickly this quest went from "Single Ork Survival" to "Raise a Righ' an' Proppah WAAAAGH"

rolled 48 = 48

>>8842295
We're Orks, we don't need the best plan. I say we take all the Eviscerators, put two on the front of the Kart. Put some Dakka on the cart so it can shoot. Put all the rest of the Eviscerators on the tanks. Then we load up with all of our loyal boys, and make a ded killy, ded cunnin attack on the nearest humie base in the middle of the night.

Send some scouts out to find out when the main force leaves the camp to do some fitan, then attack it while it is weak and turn it into our WAAGH base from here on out!

We should take an eviscerator for ourselves. and give the rest to the boyz.

Our next step in our road to WAAAAAAAAAAAGH should cleary be-ORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSO
RKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSO
RKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKS
DUN DUN DUNDUNDUNDUN
ORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKSORKS
ORKSORKS

rolled 55 = 55

Make em fast GUtwort, we'z wanna kill em ded fast.

You give out your orders to Gutwort and he in turn boots some filthy grots up the backside. They run off to grab sheets of scrap, welding torches and other tools and then stream towards the busted up tanks.

"Just sayin' Boss, but I'm gonna have to bust up one of those tanks to fix da uvver two. What about the girlynaught? I could make sumfin like mega armor outta that, y'know."

Meanwhile, Grotlikka has taken care of the boyz and told 'em to sleep it off in a dump somewhere.

-
To clarify: Gutwort is fixing one of the immolators using the parts of a second. Parts of that should also pay for labor on fixing up the buggy. He could maybe get a rokkit launcher to go on one of the vehicles (buggy is a good candidate). He is also able to make something like mega armor out of the girlynaught. The third immolator is getting traded in for payment of everything else. Sound good?

There won't be any fresh yoofs around at the moment - at least not nearby. The nobs are making sure that they are marched straight towards the northern frontline, and the 'umies have done a good job of stopping them from sporin' so much.

>>8842584
I approve.

>>8842584
MEGA ARMOR FUCK YEAH!

Yeah, all that sounds pretty good, lets get a move on!

We need some anti-armor\vehicle weaponry, see if we can secure that.

>>8842680
Rokkit Launcha on the buggy.

>>8842763
I LIKE DA CUT A DIS GITZ JIB

NO ONE ELSE WANTS CHOPPY CHAINSAW BITS ALL OVER OUR TANKS AN' BUGGY!?

rolled 81 = 81

>>8842600
>I could make sumfin like mega armor outta that, y'know."
If ya gonna make sum armor ya shud make it fast. Dont we got some flyparts round you could strap on it? We wanna impress da stormboyz inta runnin wit us. = Mega Armored Stormboy Warboss.

An make sure we got sumfink ta stop da 'umie machines. Ey got a Shokk attak gun ta mount? Dey don' ruin da armor.

Anyway get sumthink we can take out dem umie boxes wit. Da buggy needz it.

Why ain't we fighting an winnin right now? Seems like the OP is MUCKIN ABOUT

It only takes a day for your second burny tank to get fixed, and your wounded boyz are all better in two. Theyz even got skars! By the third day, a rokkit launcha has been mounted on the BumpWaaagh Kart; sadly there was no more exotic weaponry available to mount on it. Gutwort tells you that it will take at least a few more days to get the girlynaught fixed up nice for you - and that's wiv all the grots working on it.

In the meantime, you have some spare time to attend to anything else you might want to do before going after the 'umie base.

Grotlikka has suggested that finding many more boyz to join the cause could be difficult with all the skarboyz, meks and nobs keeping a tight leash on the few yoofs arriving. Your teef situation is still quite low as well. Going out for another raid at this point would be too dangerous, but there must be other ways of finding loot or followers.

What do?

>>8842897
If you slimey squigz would make up ya mindz it might be quicker.

>>8842898
Bugger dis fer a larf. We're not dat big yet, are we? Still pretty runty, even tho we've been in a few scraps.

Only thing ta do is SQUIG RACING

>>8842898
Dang it subvertan the current warboss sounds all kindsa borin humie style crap.

Let's start up a fightan pit, and get to bettin some teef, and git in some scraps ourselves so we git a bit bigga. We can also show some boys how tuff we is and work on our fist ta fist fitan.

>>8842898
WELL DEN LETZ GET SOME GROTZ AN' ARM 'EM.

DEY MAY NOT BE PROPA BOYZ BUT THEY CAN SHOOT. MOST OF THE TIME.

We'z need ta git' bigger, I sayz, we find sumfin' bigger than us, and beat the zogging 'ell out of it

>>8842819
>Mega Armored Stormboy Warboss.
If this doesn't happen OP, then I will be sorely disappointed.

There's not much in the way of a proper fightin' pit in the camp, but the camp itself is effectively one big arena. Walking up to any Ork and slogging him in the face will start a scrap and despite the war, there are still a lot of Orkz to be starting scraps with. You don't need to tell your boyz to practice their fightan - they already spend every spare moment knocking each uvver's teef out anyway.

You, however, need to look beyond your boys if you want a challenging fight. Grotlikka has two particular suggestions. First, you could try to find that Nob who knicked your teef on the first day. Secondly, you could talk to a squig herder about tell 'im you wanna wrestle a big nasty squig.

Yeah lets get a buncha boyz together in a ring, and have 1v1 fights and bet on em! we'll make a buncha teef on bets, get in a fight ourselves and maybe get bigger! AND SHOW OFF!
WAAAGGHHH!!

I sayz, get da nob, teach 'im to nick our teef

rolled 15 = 15

MAKE IT A BET AGAINST DA SQUIG HERDER THAT IF YOU CAN BEAT DA SQUIG WITH YA BEAR HANDS, YA GET TA KEEP 'IM.

THEN WE CAN HAVE OUR OWN TERRIFYIN; SQUIG.

>>8843198
LETS DO BOTH! GO GET THAT GIT WHAT KNOCKED OUT OUR TEEF, DEN IF WE'S STILL WALKIN, WE GO GET A SQUIG!

>>8843198
I say we knock out dat lousy nob's teef and put 'em on a string. Den if we happens upon any gold while we's in da humie base, we plates 'em wif it.

>>8843256
WRESTLE SQUIG.

RIDE ROUND CAMP COWORK STYLE

rolled 52 = 52

>>8843198
Get da git.

>>8843242
Let's git the git that got our teef knocked out.

Leaving Grotlikka in charge of things in case you end up dead, you wander off through the camp lookin' for the ugly git who knicked your teef a few weeks ago. Although you're young, you've grown a lot in that time. Getting scorched, chopped, krumped and thrown out of a speeding buggy is good exercise for an Ork, and having several dozen followers can't help but magnify it.

That said, you're still not Nob sized. Not by a long shot. You're a bit taller than a boy, and have really dark green skin and loadsa skars. But not a nob.

It takes several hours before you do find him. He is hanging out in a bar full of nasty lookin' skarboyz, mostly, and he was downing several gallons of fungus beer.

Intorkzicated as he is, you just might have a chance. He hasn't even seen you yet. What do you do?

rolled 28 = 28

>>8843198

Try ta' wrestle da' biggest, meanest squig ther is! But try ta' find owt wat is da' best way to krump em!

rolled 7 = 7

>>8843406

Time ta' be kunnin'. .. try ta tell im you hav coupla' gobs of teef you owe him, cos ya don't wanna be krumped by im. Try ta get im tah follow yoo on 'is own...

rolled 30 = 30

>>8843406
Let out a big ol' WAAAGGGHHH, the loudest Waggh we can. Then tell im' who we is why and we has a fight ta pick.

Then pick the fight. No time ta be kunnin its time ta be BRUTAL, and get some more Gork and Mork points.

rolled 36 = 36

>>8843406
1. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
2. Stomp 'im.

>>8843461

GODDAMMIT AND I NEVER POST IN QUEST THREADS

dice+1d100

Time ta be like Mork, Go for da eyez!

rolled 75 = 75

Zoggit, I buggered up dat roll, again, I sez go for da eyez, cunnin' but brutal!

>>8843532
Dis

>>8843532
An' Dis.

Overcome with Orky rage, you grab your choppa and scream a low, rumbling waaagh cry at the git. You get the full attention of the bar, but several of them start throwing mugs at you and telling you to zog off.

Undeterred you point your choppa at the Nob and tell him you've got a bone to pick with 'im over some teef he knicked a few weeks ago. Laughing, he slams his power klaw into a column and snaps it in half effortlessly, causing a bunch of boyz to go diving away as a small part of the roof fell in on them.

"Zog off! I knick plenty of teef 'cause I'm bigger and meaner then dem uvver Orkz. You got plenty of flash bits but you still a right runty Ork. I'm gonna enjoy rippin' that gob offa ya."

Without waiting for you, he charges, throwing a punch with his power klaw that is just barely deflected from your face with you choppa. You stumble back and break a table with your weight, barely able to stagger away before he brings his klaw down on you again.

Roll.

>>8843532
I agrees. Da eyes is both brutal and kunnin.

rolled 73 = 73

>>8843724
Da eyes.

rolled 39 = 39

>>8843724

FER GORK N MORK

rolled 74 = 74

>>8843724
WAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH!! GIT HE'S LIL BEADY EYES!

rolled 3 = 3

>>8843724
DE EYYESSSSS

rolled 71 = 71

>>8843775
disreguard dat muckin' about

3 70+ rolls! WAAAAGHH! TEAR OUT THA GIT'S PEEPERS!

You grib your choppa in both hands and swing it vertically, trying to bring it down on his head. No luck. His klaw bats it away almost effortlessy, this time bending it out of shape.

He advances on you again and tries to land a solid kick square in your chest. It connects and you are sent flying into the bar to a chorus of laughter from the skar boyz. Your choppa must have slipped out of your grip, because it's nowhere around where you landed. All you have now is your wits and slugga to rely on.

rolled 13 = 13

>>8843863

Shoot dat Nob in da gob wit da slugga!

>>8843783
>>8843775
>>8843767
>>8843765
>>8843760
(73+39+74+3+71)/5=52.8

Huh.

rolled 52 = 52

>>8843891
wut he said!

rolled 31 = 31

>>8843863
DAMN IT GIT UP AND GET YER THUMBS IN 'IS EYEBALLS! YA EVEN READIN OUR SUGGESTIONS YA GIT!?

>>8843900

Dis nob iz bigga den us, we iz mukkin about

rolled 53 = 53

Aim da slugga at da eyez! blow 'is zoggin 'ead orf!

rolled 28 = 28

>>8843863

try ta' shoot anyfin explody, stikbombs, fermented squig juice, dakka' stockpiles... take em all down wif ya!

rolled 56 = 56

Just kill him jeez.

Not trusting your cunning today, you figure that getting even is more important than impressing the skarboys with your strength. You take out your slugga quickly and fire a burst of rounds at the nob, a couple hitting him in the arm.

"Argh! Wattdya do that for, ya git? You're not even in for a duffin now, it's killin' time!" he roars at you, his arm bleeding considerably.

He stomps towards you sluggishly, holding out his power klaw to shield his face from other shots.

me finkz diz nob iz gonna smash us

>>8844053
then go for the kneecaps

rolled 49 = 49

Oh zoggin' ell, shoot him in the knees! the knees!

rolled 44 = 44

>>8844053
ROLL BETWEEN HIS FEETS AS WE SNATCH UP OUR CHOPPA, AND CUT HIS LEGS! DEN HE WON'T BE AS BIG!

rolled 57 = 57

>>8844053
Heh he's komin at us an cant see us. Shoot 'im in da knees/legs hehehe.

rolled 11 = 11

>>8844053
kneecap im

rolled 33 = 33

>>8844053
KILL 'IM AND EAT 'IM AND TAKE HIS KLAW!

WAAAGH!

rolled 24 = 24

deez bad rollz need to end!

SHOOT OUT HIS LEGZ!

>>8844174
D: this is a terrible sign from Gork... or was it Mork?

rolled 5 = 5

>>8844185
>emoticon
stop posting faggot

rolled 61 = 61

>>8839618
just plug his head

rolled 67 = 67

>>8844053

*point*

"OH ZOG ME WATS DAT BEHIND YOO !!!"

Den shoot im rite in da backa' da 'ed.

rolled 94 = 94

>>8844193
We can't hit the head, read the goddamn post.

Just shoot his goddamn legs.

We iz muckin about...

You fire again, this time aiming for his knees. It seems the the grace of Gork (or wozzit Mork?) isn't with you though, as the rounds tear through his pants and reveal cybork limbs! A round ricochets off of his body and turn a grot crouched under a table nearby into a green jam.

You get the feeling that this is going to end very, very badly for you. He looms over you and snatches kicks your shooty arm hard, sending your slugga spiraling away. Then, with his non-klaw hand he grabs you by your chest-plate and lifts you up to face him.

His klaw crackles with energy as he flexes it. "This 'ere klaw is gonna rip you up, runty."

Then, without a warning, you krump him one with your skull. He goes down cold.

>>8844249
Well DERE be sum GM magickz goin' on around here

rolled 63 = 63

>>8844249
Nobody messes wiw' Bakkhakker! WAAAARGH!

rolled 91 = 91

>>8844249
Kick em in the head one more time ta be sure!

rolled 72 = 72

Finish him off so you don't get revenged in return, leave his teef for the spectators so they have something to think about.

Take the klaw!

Klimb on top o' 'im, f'er a victory yell!, and to get teef and offer loot.

rolled 23 = 23

>>8844249

Ur' vision goes cloudy.. ur battered skull givin you a vishun of Gork N Mork!!!

... or you make it seem like it dus.

>>8844334
dis

>>8844311
Actually, it's not that cheaty. Afterall, he was pretty intorkzicated from all the fermented squig juice.

>>8844415
hmm, ya gotta point dere OP-baws.

So, consensus on what to do?

>>8844415
>Actually, it's not that cheaty. Afterall, there was a roll of 94
FTFY

>>8844460
Meet: >>8844334

rolled 14 = 14

>>8844460
take his teef, and his klaw.

>>8844460
Take his teef and klaw and finish him off wiff his own klaw.

Finish that git! take 'iz stuff!, then stagger back to ya tanks and pass out

>>8844529
Yes!

Kick em in the head, let some Teef fly out, let the bar have the teef, then, let him live, so we show we's a tuff git and not to be mucked wif, but we still want there be BOYS TA WAAGH with!

>>8844631
i like this idea

>>8844631
No way! Iffin' we let dis Nob live, den he'z gunna run ta his boyz for revenge and Bakktrakka will look all weedy and wimpy!

The Orkz don't seem too happy about the mess you made, but the entertainment has almost balanced it out. No one stops you while you take the nob's power klaw and knock his teef out with a hard kick to the gob, but as you slip on the klaw and move to finish him off, a mean skarboy yells at you from his seat a few meters away.

"Finish him off roit, but you'd better be leavin' his teef with me to pay for all dis mess you made muckin' about."

>>8844631
Naw, dis stoopid git will prolleh try and killz us when we'z not lookin'! We gotta show em even a boy like us can take on a da toughest nobz around. Kill'em wiff hiz klaw!

What rate can an ork grow at? Are we growing fast from plot powers?

>>8844667
FAIR ENUF!

proceed to kill da stoopid git and leave da bar da teef.

>>8844667
Go to bed OP.

>>8844656
NO HE WILL LOOK LIKE A DUMB GIT WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TA SETTLE A FIGHT ON HIS OWN LIKE WE DID. AND WE'LL TELL 'IM SO INFRONT OF 'IS BOYS.

HE was bigger den us and we came at em alone in a bar fullla skarboys and walked away! SO he's da git. And we look good.

Now kick out his teef, den lets go wrassle a squig.

Kill dat stupid Nob!

>>8844699
*slap* YA DON'T NEED TAH HAVE 'IM ALIVE TAH SHOW DAT! 'Es DEAD AND WE'Z GOT 'IS KLAW SO DEY ALL KNOW WHUT HAPPENED! NOW FINISH UP DA JOB AND MAYBE 'IZ NEXT LIFE WON'T BE SO STUPID!

oi, we'z orkz, we iz for killin' we don't leave no nob breathin'

>>8844667
finish off the nob, take the klaw, leave the teef.

>>8844685
We'z growin cuz we'z bein' ORKY!

rolled 30 = 30

>>8844667

Tell da skarboy dat u wont giv' im da teef, you'll spend dem on gettin all da boyz in er senseless on squig juice!

rolled 27 = 27

>>8844750
DIS IS KUNNIN - THE SKARBOYZ WON'T ARGUE, SO THE BARSKAR WON'T. THEN, SOME OF THE SKARBOYZ MIGHT JOIN YOU'Z WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

>>8844750
ROLL THE DICE TO SEE IF IM GETTING DRUNK

>>8844685
I'm not sure of the exact rate in canon but I assume it takes a few years to reach warboss size, at the least. Toofsum hasn't actually grown thaaaat much so far. He's only a bit bigger than a regular boy, although pretty dark skinned, skarred and mean looking. He has been doing a lot of orky stuff afterall. Trying to avoid plot armor as much as possible.
>>8844688
Ouch. Well if you really want me to...but if not, can I assume that consensus is to kill nob, let the bar have the teef, wander off to find a squig to wrestle?

>>8844811
yes, dat be da consensusis

>>8844811
You don't really have to go to bed, Boss.

rolled 43 = 43

>>8844811
No, buy all dem skarboyz drinks wif da nob's teef!

We're Goff right? Let's paint our face.

>>8844750
DIs, is a riot proppa good plan dis is. Get da Skar boyz drunk, kill the Nob, and then lets go wrassle a squiq, we need ta git BIGGAH!

>>8844811
Nah it doesn't take years. A new boy can take an old warboss' spot in a couple of weeks/months

Grinning a sly grin, you tell the barskar that you fink that since you provided the entertainment for the night, he should be payin' you, and that you would use the your hard-wun teef to buy all da lads some squig juice. Unable to argue with that, the skarbartender grunts at you. "Roit. Just give 'em here eefer way. Drinks for everyone. But you can hurry up and scram!"

You kick the nob anuvver time just to be sure he's lost all his teef, then flex your klaw and slash it across his throat. Quick, but messy. Good thing that there are plenty of grots to clean it up.

You grab the teef and hand them to the drop 'em on his table, then leave to find the squig pen. It's pretty clear that you've made a name for yourself with the tuffer Orkz tonight, and chances are that giving free drinks to everyone means it is a good name.

Now, where was the squig pen...

>>8845012
WAAAAAGGHHH!! TIME TA WRASSLE AND TAME A NEW PET!

>>8845012

I almost wish you were a namefag so I know to always play your quests.

Does dat Nob have friends who're gonna be pissed at you?

>>8845050
2nded, this shits better than Shas'o Tau Quest

rolled 84 = 84

>>8845091
Not the OP, of course, but already I've learned a fuckload from his OP-ing style. I think I might start up a Dorf Fort Quest tonight.

rolled 49 = 49

>>8845012
Go to the squig pen, but before you start wrestling, show the herda's and the pen-master that you're worth your teef by paying for a FACE-EATA' SQUIG-EATIN' BUFFET for yourself.

rolled 12 = 12

>>8845183
Seconded. And, while you're eatin right up, ask around for any good herdas who is lookin' for werk. We could use some attack squigs, not to mention some eatin' squigs for when we finish makin' ourselves at home in an 'umie base.

>>8845052
Possibly. At very least some other tough Orkz might want to prove that you are just lucky, not tough like dem.

>>8845050
>>8845115
Is my first quest thread, so it's kinda awkward to get so many compliments when I'm more or less just making it up as I go along - large part of why it takes so long to reply sometimes.

I think I should sleep now though. Thread is almost at auto-sage and I need some rest. I've submitted this to suptg's archive so I can remember where we were at. I will probably post part three when I wake up.

Thanks for playing, guys. Has been fun. Night.

I don't think our hero is quiet big enough to outbite a face-eatin' squig

>>8845115
I too have learned a lot about Questing from this thread. NOW MORE BAKKTRAKKA!

>>8845228
>I'm more or less just making it up as I go along
This is the best way to DM just fyi.

>>8845228

Ploz come back again and do part 3!

>>8845228

I'll be looking forward to it

has dis been archived yet?