GOFFS! WEEZ GONNA GET DA KILLIN DONE!

>No kult of speed
fuck you.

(oops, put tripcode in email field. Wont make that mistake again)

You're wunna da Goffs! Da biggest and da meanest Ork clan, sadly you don't as either yet.

One of the Nobz notices you idling by the entrance. He clobbers you over the 'ead, causing a couple teef to fall out. The Nob is dark green and at least a head taller than you. He's got two choppas and a cyborknetic arm.

"Runty Yoofs gotz no place hangin' about! Go to the dakka pilez and fetch some shooty, ya squig!"

What do you do?

A) Head to the dakka shop
B) Hit the Nob back. Unarmed.
C) Take out your anger on another Yoof.

>>8833755
DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA

>>8833698

see Evil Sunz

>>8833755
Pick up teef before doing anything else.

rolled 95 = 95

Break a grots neck in anger

>>8833755

pick up teef
take out anger on yoof (YA LOUSY GIT)
get sum dakka

>>8833755
dont capitalize Yoof or people might think its a specific ork and not slang for Youth

Attack the nob, get teef. Use extra teef to get Extra dakka from dakka shop

(Kinda inconclusive vote. Dakka shop it is.)

"Dakka shop ain't far," the Nob grins. "Run along runty wun." As you walk away you notice him similiar treatment to another Ork - though, that one doesn't look like he is gonna get up.

You pick up the teef you lost on the ground and head on your way.

The dakka store is more like a massive pile of shooty and choppy things. There are several mekboyz and grotz attending to customers, both Yoofs and other Orkz. You have a bag full of teef in your jaw, but you need to save plenty for food and gubbinz - besides, it's just not Orky to have no teef at all.

One of the mekboyz notices you. "Plenty of new boyz, oh yes. You ain't got 'nuff teef for nuffin' too fancy tho. If you wanna keep any of your teef for eatin', that iz."

What do you buy?
A) Slugga and choppa
B) Big choppa
C) Shoota

>>8833755

>What do you do?

become a madboy and attack anything coloured blue

>>8833876
Shoota.

It has MORE DAKKA than the other options.

Slugga and Choppa!

>>8833908
slugga an' choppa

>>8833876
A)

big choppa

GET DA CHOPPA UND SLUGGA FOR DER WAAAGH!

Slugga and choppa

BIG SHOOTA.
YA GITS.

The mekboy grins wildly and kicks a grot towards the pile of weapons to fetch what you asked for.

"Blue skinned gitz all over lately, and dem burny 'umies. Mobs been runnin' out to fight 'em for weekz now. You'd better be usin' the choppy and dakka for killin' and not muckin' around."

The grot drags the slugga and choppa over to you. Both look like they are about to fall apart, but deyz big and dat's all that really matters.

You punch yourself in the jaw and teef and blood come tubmling out into your palm. You hand over the cost of the weapons - about half your jaw's worth - and let the uvver boyz get their gear.

You now have some freedom. There is plenty a fightin' to be done, but you are still pretty runty. Maybe it'd be best to get some more teef off the less well-armed boyz around the camp.

A) Start a fight with the nearest boy
B) Ask a Nob where the best fightin' is
C) Go get a squig pie

[X] Develop a sudden interest in seeing the insides of other boyz.

MAD DOK END CMON

>>8833993
>>Get squig pie
>>Start food fight

Slugga an' choppa, ya can shoot while ya chop and chopa while ya shoot

START A FITE WIV SUM OVVAH GIT!

>>8834000
This

And then start a fight.

The nearest pie shop is run by an Ork that seems to have become wider without getting taller as he aged. Like with any respectable Ork enterprise, the grots do all the work. The Chef is gorging himself on the fruit of his labours in the background.

At least grots are easier to "haggle" with.

The one that deals with you is wearing a white hat and apron. "Yeesss, I recommend the stingy squig pie. It's only two teef!"

You growl and think about knocking out another couple of your teef, but stop when you realise that you now have dakka and choppy on your side. There is a big group of other new boyz also trying to get pies, and though they are mostly armed, it seems that they have a group preference for choppas instead of shootas or sluggas. You could maybe shoot one and take his teef.

What do you?

A) Try to shoot one cleanly and take all his teef.
B) Shoot wildly into the group
C) Jump in with your choppa for some proper Orky fun
D) Just pay with your own teef

(All need to roll 1d100)

B. Show them what they get for not having enuff dakka

>>8834141

Wait I didnt roll for it

rolled 41 = 41

>>8834152

And I somehow didnt roll for that either. God dammit me

rolled 38 = 38

>>8834119
[X] Take the wide boy apron and knock his teef out.

Perhaps too Orky for your own good, you open fire on the crowd of other new wunz that are competing for pies and showing off their choppas to one another.

One of the Orkz falls over dead, while most were only mildly wounded at worst from your first spray of bullets. A shoota really would have been a better bet.

The grots dive for cover simultaneously, knocking over stands and tables and shelves of pies, and accidently releasing several unchained nasty looking squigs in the process.

The choppa boyz reactions are quick. They charge towards you, pushing past other Orkz as they do. Those Orkz push back harder, several skarboyz and nobz choppin' off arms and breakin' skulls.

You aren't safe though. There are about 5 still heading towards you. What do you do?

A) Run
B) Fight

Need to roll again

Shoot em all

>>8834271
WE'Z GOIN' SO WE CAN FOIT AN WIN LATER

stupid head finkin it be good ta shoot on da other boyz, is stupid is what it is.

also dont know how to roll

>>8834308
Dis un go fer da pits hehe

rolled 51 = 51

>>8834308
Rollin'

rolled 1 = 1

>>8834271

Run and shoot!

>>8834375

Hmm. Looks like I'd be welcome in Tauquest more than anything.

>>8834271
RUN FER IT

You leg it. A lot of Orkz that were amused by the fight you started don't appreciate the unOrkiness of it, though, and try to stop you as run. You manage to avoid tripping over but have lost a couple more teef and are feeling a bit dizzy.

You've ended up backed into a corner between huts and workshops. The mob closes in on you.

"What da zog do you fink you are doin', shootin' us?" their apparent leader snarls at you. "I'm gonna enjoy takin' your choppa..."

Now is the time see what you are mad of. Do you:

A) Try to intimidate them
B) Beg for forgiveness
C) Get stuck in dere

rolled 5 = 5

A Intimidate

rolled 40 = 40

>>8834271

Run? RUN?! Wot you fink we is, some kinda grot? We's gonna FIGHT! WAAAGH!
But we's ded clevva, so we's gonna chop AN' slug AT THE SAME TIME. Dey neva gonna see it comin'!

a, and if it fails, c

rolled 60 = 60

>>8834517
[X] FREAK THE FUCK OUT SKREAMIN INKAHERA INKO SUM STUFF FOR GORK N MORK

rolled 15 = 15

>>8834525
Neva mind, den.

>>8834517
A)! We's gonna puff ourself up an' WAAAGH right in da leader's face. Bang da choppa an' slugga togevva an' make some noise!

I try intimidating them by shooting the leader on the leg.

rolled 52 = 52

>>8834541
AN HIT DA BIGGEST, WE WANNA SEE WAT MAKES 'IM BIGGA

(Oh dear, guys. You need to start rolling better)

You can practically feel yourself being ground into the mud as they surround you. Thinking fast, you do what seems the least hurty. You puff yourself up and yell as loudly as you can:

"What da zog am I finkin'? Nah, what da zog are YOU finkin'!"

The group seem unimpressed. The leader grins very widely, displaying a full gob of teef. Clearly he got his choppa from beating up another Ork. This could be bad.

"Get 'im, boyz." he cackles. "I want dat choppa!"

You grip your slugga and choppa and let out a decidely unorky squeak.

(one more roll for the fight.)

rolled 71 = 71

>>8834620

rolld100

One shot one kill, lets not waste bullets you know.

Shoot the boss then cap the others, tell em that your there boss now

rolled 51 = 51

>>8834620
We's best call on Mork's kunnin' an' chop dat big blighter right in da knees! 'E'll nevva see it comin'! An' when 'e's down, stomp on 'is face an' take 'IS teef!

rolled 9 = 9

>>8834672

Aimin? Wot's dat?

Bam!

Turns out you are a pretty good aim when you have to be. The leader got a slug right between his eyes, and is now missing the top half of his head. The four boys that were advancing on you suddenly stop in their tracks and look at each other hesitantly.

"It woz a lucky shot, ya git. Now I'M gonna get your choppa!" says one of them. He leaps and swings his axe at you with all the brute force in his arms.

Your dodge isn't perfect. It slices a chunk out of your shoulder. Hopefully the skarboyz will be impressed. You counter his clumsy blow with a rough swing of your choppa, catching him in the back. He roars in pain and scrambles to the floor a few meters away, dying and with your choppa still stuck in him.

You raise your slugga again and aim it at the three remaining boyz, who are all luckily rather more meek than the two dead. There's another exchange of hesitant looks.

"Mmmh. Let's split the teef and choppas and call it even, right?" The runtiest suggests.

(Your call now. No dice necessary unless you attack.)

>>8834766
"Split? SPLIT?! You's lucky if I don't split your SKULLZ, you 'orrible excuse fer an ork!"
We puff ourself up an' look DED intimidatin'.
"Scramble, ya gits!"
Pick up lootz.

SMASH 'EM

rolled 96 = 96

>>8834766
I'Z DA BIGGEST NOW YA GROTZ! YOU'Z GONNA DO WHAT I SAYS NOW.

rolled 2 = 2

>>8834766
Right Boyz. Youz iz mine now. Do wat i sayz, and get me my lootz. Or i will kill ya ded, and replace your teef wiv a humies littluns.

>>8834828

...Did our boy just get a skarboy mob for himself?

Getting stuck in and killing some people can do a lot for an Ork's swagger. While your previous intimidation attempts went down as well as a Super Spice Squig, having killed the two meanest mob members gives you much firmer ground to stand on.

For good measure you shoot off a bunch of slugs in the air too.

You let them know that you won't stand for any more funny business, and that you did the killin' so you get the loot. Just as an added bonus, you tell them that you're the boss of this little 'erd of squigdrops now.

One of them quickly tells you to zog off, and that you ain't nearly choppy enough for him. The other two look at each other and then at you.

"Want us to chop 'im up boss?"

(One terrible roll, one fantastic one. Tried to split the difference fairly. And they're regular boyz, not skarboyz.)

rolled 48 = 48

>>8834938
Krump dat git.

>>8834938

"Jus' chop some bitz off 'im. Let 'im be a warnin' to ovver grotz finkin' dey'z bigga."

rolled 58 = 58

>>8834938
Get 'im boyz.

rolled 9 = 9

Lop iz arm off, eel think yer choppy enuff den and eel still ave an arm to chop wiv

You laugh cruelly and tell 'em to make shizorkbab outta 'im. The scrap is a lot longer lasting than your encounter, and by the end of it there is only one boy left alive - thankfully one of your loyal 'uns.

The pair of you knick the teef out of the four dead Orkz and stash them in bags that you then tie around your waist. You also knick some of the nicer clothes they were wearing, replacing the rags you had acquired so far. No more feral Orkdom for you!

Fortune has favored the bold, apparently, and your wealth has skyrocketed in a matter of hours. You now have five choppas, a slugga, 4 gobz worth of teef and an Ork boy that is terrified of you.

What now?

rolled 1 = 1

>>8835044
Sell spare stuff for teef

rolled 66 = 66

>>8835044
Purchase a Buggy!

rolled 10 = 10

>>8835044

Suddenly

PSYCHIC VOMIT

>>8835044
get our shoulder fixed

rolled 18 = 18

>>8835055
>>8835053
both of these

rolled 10 = 10

>>8835044

Moar dakka. Always moar dakka

rolled 60 = 60

>>8835044
Get dem choppas an sluggas dey got we'z selling everfin we can get.

Then we go get ourselves somefin ta ride from da mekboyz.

f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5....

Your spare choppas are probably going to be difficult to sell without sorely pissing off the established mekboy vendors. However, you soon realise that you might get a moderate discount if you trade those weapons in while buying something else.

Thankfully, being loaded up with the weapons and clothing of your pursuers has either disguised you or intidimated any of the Orkz who might want to krump ya for causing problems.

You soon arrive at the mekshop.

The mekboy tells you that it'll cost three bags of teef. Haggling gets him down to two, but it costs you all four of your choppas.

Your vehicle looks fast, dangerous and is mostly importantly, red. Sadly though the shoota on it is pretty unimpressive.

>>8835213
Oi, what we got for ourselvs? An da boy followin' us what 'e got?

>>8835223
Whoops. meant to specify that it's a somewhat small warbuggy with room for a driver, gunner and maybe a couple passengers clinging onto the back. Your minion has a choppa.

rolled 95 = 95

>>8835213
MOAR DAKKA. also, tell our grotlicker to man the shoota while WE TAKES IT FOR A SPIN!

rolled 56 = 56

>>8835247
>more dakka
'es got a good 'ed dis un. We'z gonna fix da dakka up ta our likin ourselfs.

An after dat we get our boy in da driver's seat. Tell 'im ta go find out where deres sum boyz who's up fer a foight. Cuz we'z gunna go find un'.

You stand for a moment, not quite sure what is wrong. It's got four wheels all right, plenty of red too. This will go fast, no doubt. With anger you realize that the shoota is dead weak.

"OI. Mekboy, dis buggy can't do no shootin'! I want more dakka!"

Despite being armed yourself, it's clear that the mekboy would prefer to go back to working on another design than fight over it.

"Alright, hold ya squigs! Zoggit, we've got a twin-linked big shoota that I can give ya for another gob ana half of teef."

rolled 14 = 14

>>8835290
"but where are we gonna find anuvva half a gob of teef"

look at grotlicka

punch him up da head, take his teef, and tell him that wes gonna let him drive, for helpan pay.

>>8835305
You had four bags to begin with. The vehicle was going to cost three, but you haggled him down to two plus your spare choppas. You still have two left.

>>8835305
Dat's only wurf only one gob worth a teef.

Go find a boy milling about, chop off his head, then another boy, and chop off half of his head.

rolled 81 = 81

>>8835321
ah

tell him sorry.

>>8835330
>Go find a boy milling about, chop off his head,
>then another boy, and chop off half of his head.
>half of his head
Christ. Mukkin' about is deadly for Orks.

>>8835321
We needs moar teefs than that. We can pay the Mek, but we needs to use that dakka to go get moar teef fast.

rolled 76 = 76

>>8835290
Punch grotlicka to take some of his teef and to keep him in line.

buy bigga gun
threaten mek with big gun
????
profit!!

>>8835369
>threaten mek with big gun

He's bigger and smarter than us. He's probably had a stupid boy try that on him before. And because he's still standing, we can tell who won.

(I'm gonna go with the guy who rolled the dice.)

Your clobbering didn't go as well you woulda liked, and only a couple teef fall out with the punch. That fact probably had a lot to do with him accepting your apology when you realised your mistake. You know, that and you being Da Boss.

The mekboy takes your two remaining bags of teef. Grots swarm out and hastily weld the dakka onto your buggy, leaving the weak gun lying in the back - usable but wimpy.

You're told to zog off and find a good fight. Your boy climbs into the drivers seat.

"Wait a minute Boss, wot am I meanta call ya?"

rolled 3 = 3

>>8835385

TOOFSUM BAKHACKA

shit guys, this is the important part

badkill
killhammer
Sadtrukk
Badrukk
GoodTrukk
PunchKill

rolled 35 = 35

>>8835402
Boss Toofsum Bakhakka

>>8835385

Skramrukk.

>>8835385
>The mekboy takes your two remaining bags of teef.
'EY! 'EE SAID IT WUZ ONLY A GOB ANNA HARF! AND DA ZOGGIN CHEAT TAKES TWO 'OLE GOBZ!

Yell out "SHENANIGUNZ!" to the marketplace.

I figure something to do with the deeds so far is necessary.

>>8835420
>Yell out "SHENANIGUNZ!"
Uh oh. This isn't going to end well.
I wanna see. Do it.

>>8835420
Call it OP oversight. You still have half a bag left, my bad.

>>8835420
SHENANNYGITZ!

>>8835422

All we'ze dun so far has gotta do wif teef, so watcha make of dat?

>>8835432
aw man

so we don't get to call out the mek for cheating us? dammit

>>8835441
WE IZ:

DAKKABOSS TEEFPANTS

>>8835445
I just figure there's no need to get yourself killed over a typo on my part. Let me know what name ya'll decide.

rolled 49 = 49

>>8835402
>>8835416
Toofsum Bakhakka! We's gotta start actin' more cunnin'!

>>8835385
Killtrakk Killot

Kappn Killgunz

rolled 49 = 49

>>8835465
this seems like the closest thng we have to an agreement.

>>8835465
I's tryin' ta get us actin' more kunnin', but you grotz keep messin' it up!

Dat said, Toofsum Bakhakka it is!

CHOPPO MORDAKKA

>>8835540
Toofsum Bakhakka. DONE.

Boss Toofsum Bakhakka betta go find a zoggin' fight, or dere's gonna be trouble!

Dat said, you grotz all realise we're all voices in Toofsum's hed, rite? Get sum consen... cons... we gotta agree on stuff, or Toofsum's gonna be yobbin' around like a git!

"Toofsum Bakhakka, but I'm Da Boss to you, Grotlicka!"
"Oi boss, don't I get to pick my name too?"
"Shut it and take me to the fightan!"

You climb onto the back of the truck and admire the huge amount of dakka now at your disposal. The next time you decide to murder a crowd of innocent Orkz, this will certainly do the job better than your wimpy slugga did.

As ordered, Grotlicka drives you out of the camp, although to say that he knew where he was going was optimistic. Artillery fire can be heard in the distance - in all directions - and wherever there is Orkz, there is shootin', so it would be hard to avoid a fight.

Most talkin' seems to mention blue gitz to the north that have been setting up camps, though that is several days away. Closer to home, there have been burny 'umies tryin' to crisp up the ground so new Orkz can't turn up. You could either option and do something else, even.

rolled 7 = 7

I sez it first, ya gits! So I gets ta chooze!

Toofsum Bakhakka! Coz I gots toofs, and I hak baks, no mukkin about.

(also, sorry for taking awhile with replies. I have to wait for something of a consensus and then write it out based on that, so yeah. Will try to keep it around 10 minutes max as much as I can.)

Find sum burny 'umies. Shoots at 'em a bit. Run fer it. If dey follow ya to da camp, enuff WAAAGH for evrywun.

rolled 55 = 55

>>8835602
KILL DA HUMIES, STEAL DERE BURNAS

>>8835602
'Umies! Dey scream all funny when you krump 'em! Dey's closer, too.

>>8835602
I think all consensus can be reached with a simple comment.
Our plan, in all situations, should be summed up as thus:

'ERE WE GO
'ERE WE GO
'ERE WE GO

rolled 6 = 6

>>8835602

Blue gitz hav got camps, day means theys got gubbinz to loot!

Let's get lootin!

>>8835602
We'z gotta be all kunnin' wit dem 'umies.
Look in da skope on da big shoota an' see where dem 'umies are lookin'.
Den drive up BEHIND 'em an' dakka!
'S /DED/ kunnin'!

>>8835742
Is good!

>>8835742
Yor plan ain't 'ERE WE GO enuff.
Get summor 'ERE WE GO in ya plan.
Like, wats if we paint da scope Red so's we can look fasta
Then we looks WHILE We iz drivin'.
So we can be 'arfway ta where we'z goin' buhfore we'z know we'z even gowin' there?

>>8835762
I like da way you's finkin'!
I'm goin' one betta: Round up a bunch o' boyz wiv da big dakka, an' get 'em to run in first. Den, ahem, support fire from behind! 'S brilliant!

Orkz aren't good at waiting for a fight. If waiting involves testing out big dakka while travelling in a buggy driven by an Ork unaware of the break pedal, however, exceptions can be made.

It takes an hour or so before you find any sign of the skum. The buggy screeches as it reaches the edge of a valley. Grotlicka slams on the breaks, apparently learning quick in an emergency.

There's music and funny chanting. What do the 'umies fink they're doing? And the smell of what has to be a great deal of burny fluid.

Other Orkz are too. A couple hundred. They're mostly getting burnt to a crisp though - it seems like an obsession with using melee weapons only is a problem for this particular Goff clan. The 'umies have less people, but they're being dead cunning and have something like a defensive formation, plus two big mean lookin' vehicles.

Grotlicka squeaks. "Boss, dis doesn't look good..."

rolled 48 = 48

>>8835808
Shoot da burny fluid tanks wit da shoota. Burn Da Humies. Be all cunnin and tell Grotlikka to get da hell outta here if da big tanks start shootan.

>>8835808
Dis is a job fer Toofsum, kunningest Ork in da skwad!
Get dem Goffs' attenshun wit' yer big dakka. Tell 'arf to keep attackin', an' bring 'arf around to da back o' dem 'umies!
Anyone protestin' gets to test out yer new dakka as target practise.

>>8835839
Agreed

rolled 19 = 19

>>8835839
This, shoot at da burny tanks and get out when da big guns start shootin's us!

>>8835839
Shootin' da burny tanks means no burnas fer us! We gotta keep 'em so WE can burn OVVAS.
LOOTZ!

Pray to Gork 'n' Mork to make your shootas super powerful and shoot at da 'umies

rolled 24 = 24

>>8835808
We gotta getz sum fasta dakka
Deze ork boyz is losin' 'cuz dey aint got enuff dakka.
Rollin' dem dice to see if we can start a waagh.

Shut the driver up by hitting him with the barrel of my shoota.
Tell him to run over the nearest umie.

>>8835808
>implying that there is a break pedal
WROOOOOOONG

WAAAAAAAAAAGH

rolled 58 = 58

>>8835856
consensus

Sneak up behind the 'umies, get out of the buggy taking the wimpy gun with you, shoot the burny fluid barrels, high-tail it back to the buggy and drive in behind the 'umies investigating the fire, then DAKKADAKKADAKKA

>>8835896
Dere IS a break pedal. Ya press it, an' ya break da grotz ya drive into, stoppin' ya.

Dere's no brake pedal, tho'.

>>8835900
ah fuck i dont know how to roll dice D:

where the fuck is OP? We've had a consensus for like 20 minutes here!

start a waaaaagh and start vomiting energy be da best warphead nob evah

Doing what you do best, you squeeze the trigger on your twin-linked big shoota and laugh maniacly at the noise and recoil of it. Aiming is a bit of a problem, especially at the slight distance that you are at, but a few of the 'umies are mowed down - sadly no burny explosions though.

None of the uvver Orkz can hear your commands over the sound of your gun and general battle, but the reinforcements quickly get their attention and those wavering start to see some sense in pressing the attack.

Sadly, that hasn't stopped them from getting toasted. It has, however, got the attention of the 'umies. One of their vehicles moves forward, running over several Orkz as it goes.

It's coming for you.

rolled 38 = 38

>>8835944
'e'z mukkin' about

rolled 11 = 11

>>8835954
if deres a way into da vehicle, drive ova to it an loot it.

>>8835954
I fink we betta getz outta here an get summor dakka.

when we get back to camp trade our buggy for warbikes

>>8835954
Stop shootin' for a moment so you can yell at the boyz. Tell 'em to mob the vehicle an' stop it.
Then shoot the vehicle.

does the vehicle have an open top or a closed one?

if open: drive right towards it, jump over and get to choppin'
if closed: make a run for it and kunnin it into smashing into the other

CRASH INTO IT.

JUMP ON TOP.

WAAAGGGGGH.

>>8835954
Haha! Stupid 'umies movin' a shiny new tank ta'wards us all ready fer lootin'.
I rekkin we'z ugpr... uprg... ugrp ... GETTIN BIGGA DAKKA ON WEELZ

>>8835954

Uh oh.

Wotz it look like? If itz got one o' dem big boomy gunz on top tell Grotlicka to get da buggy outta dere!

Or we could ram dat vehicle. Dem 'umie tanks make fer good lootin'.

>>8836001
It looks like this.

(Sorry guys, I'm gonna be mucking around for about 15 minutes while I get a squig pie of my own. Will continue this thread after though.)

Jump onto it- THEN RIP AND TEAR THE GUNNER.

GO INSIDE. KILL EVERYTHING!

rolled 60 = 60

>>8836047
this. apply choppa liberally

>>8836036
IZ IT RED?
OR IZ IT A FUKKIN 'UMIE CULLA?

That's an immolator type tank. Not worth grabbin, not enough dakka. It'll go up like a treat though if we hit it hard enough. Get it ta' chase us and we'll outrun the burnas it's got and shoot it up real good.

rolled 11 = 11

>>8836036

I now doez fings! Dey's full of zoggin nuns!

...maybes dey got one wiv wings... oh yerr..

>>8836036

We'ze don't want to get too close to dat one then. Tell da udder boyz to mob it, an' keep shootan!

rolled 59 = 59

>>8836148
yell at them to throw some zoggin rokkits

>>8836147
>...maybes dey got one wiv wings... oh yerr..
SCREAM "FER GORGUTZ" AND DRIVE PAST THE BURNY HUMIE-TANK

After you pass it far enough out of the flamer range, load big shoota rounds into its weak rear armor.

WUTEVA YER DOIN' MAKE SURE YER DRIVA KNOWS 'EZ GOTS TA GO FASTA.

rolled 10 = 10

URY UP WIV DAT SQUIG PIE YA GIT

rolled 33 = 33

>>8836285
IF 'E DON'T KNOW THAT THEN 'E'S A TERRIBLE ORK!

Although it took some threatening, Grotlicka holds his ground and doesn't immediately drive you away from the battle.

In between bursts of big shoota fire, you can finally get the other Orkz attention with your yelling. You tell them to try and stop it, but with most having nothing but a choppa it's a little bit difficult. It seems that not all were completely unprepared, however, and *something* explodes next to the 'umie tank. Unlike the mob of Orkz around it, the tank didn't explode outright, but there is now a zoggin great hole in the side and it's movements are slowed. It won't be a danger to you anymore, but it can still toast the few boyz left.

(squig pie was delicious, btw guys)

>>8836394
WELL DEN WAT ARE WE WAITIN' 'ERE FER?

DRIVE ME CLOSER, I WANT TO HIT IT WITH MY CHOPPA!

AND THEN LOOT IT.

>>8836394
LOOTIN
LOOTIN
LOOTIN
LOOTIN
LOOTIN
LOOTIN
LOOTIN

Someone roll.

>>8836394
I say we lootz it, we uses ORKY knowhow ta drive it into da uvva tank, den we lootz DAT wun, den we drives 'em back to da base.
'how many teef d'y'arekkin' dem tankz be wurf?

rolled 40 = 40

>>8836394
Dakka the nun on the top while shes firin at the boyz tryin ta get in her hole.

rolled 51 = 51

>>8836438

>>8836445
>try and get in her hole

rolled 85 = 85

>>8836414
AN' I FORGOT MY DICE.

rolled 91 = 91

>>8836438
Fukkit CHOP AN DAK EVRYFING DEN LOOT WUTZ LEFT

rolled 3 = 3

>>8836491

DAKKA THE NUNZ

DEN DAKKA DA BOYZ

DAT LOOT IS OURZ

>>8836491
>>8836478
>>8836456
>>8836445
(40+51+85+90)/4=66.5
An average success.

>>8836445
TAKTIKZ IZ MUKKIN ABOUT
>>8836456
DOIN NUFFIN IS MUKKIN ABOUT
>>8836478
CHOP AN LOOT IS ORKY
>>8836491
CHOP AN LOOT EVRYFING IS FUKKEN ORKY

The tank is riddled with bullet holes and painted with green blood. It's possible that just as many of the deaths were from your shooting as the squishing and burning.

Grotlicka drives you closer, trying to approach the vehicle from the side of the hole. The nun had her head separated from the rest of her by a barrage of fire, and the mob still surrounding the vehicle are climbing over and into it themselves.

It seems that there is barely a pair of proper mobs left on the battlefield - maybe 30 or so total. The 'umies have the other vehicle left and maybe a dozen nuns with guns retreating behind it.

consensus

rolled 74 = 74

>>8836558
Shout at em "AH, YER JUST A BUNCHA PANZIES LIKE YER EMPS GIT!"

>>8836558
DRIVE DAT TANK INTO DA UVVA TANK
COVAH OUR NEW TANKZ ADVANCE WIF SUM DAKKA FROM OUR BUGGY
WHEN OUR TANK SMASHEZ INTO DA UVVA TANK, WE RUN OVA ALL DA SQUISHIE 'UMIES
CHOP
DAK
CHOP
DAK
LOOT WUTZ LEFT.

rolled 29 = 29

>>8836589
ROLLIN DEM TEEF

rolled 12 = 12

>>8836589

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

>>8836589
WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
CONSEN-- CONS--
JUS' KRUMP 'EM!

It's difficult to tell if your taunt has antagonized the 'umies - they are all wearing helmets. It's clear that they are still dangerous, however.

The Orkz remaining are refusing to charge the nuns while their flame weapons still have fuel, but you have them surrounded and as long as they don't advance, their weapons won't be able to reach you. The destroyed immolator doesn't seem to work at all, either, and will need to be towed back to a mekboy if is it to be fixed up.

As the Ork with the biggest gun and only vehicle, the Orkz are looking to you for command. What do?

rolled 26 = 26

>>8836632
POINT YER BUGGY AT DA SQUISHIE 'UMIES
DRIVE OVA ALL DA SQUISHIE 'UMIES 'ROUND DA BOTTOM OF DA UVVA TANK
FIRE YER DAKKA
LOOT DA TANK
SHOUT WAAGH.

rolled 7 = 7

>>8836632
Obviously, we let out a loud warcry as orcs often do. Tell every single surviving orc to grab a hold of our buggy, and ram the enemy at full speed.

In other words, we Waagh!, good sir.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

rolled 70 = 70

>>8836632

Dis shoota 'as bigga range den dere puny flame thingies.

Sit here.

DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA

See wat da puny nuns do.

rolled 4 = 4

>>8836632
Shoot da flamer girlz den WAAAAAAAGH

rolled 63 = 63

ITT: Uncontrollable, uncontrollable WAAAAUGH.

Shout so loud the humies cower in fear, then blow up their tank with a single shot.

>>8836632
see if the fule tank can be taken off the wreked vehical. if so throw it at the humies and shoot it

rolled 55 = 55

>>8836632
HIT EM WIF DA TRAKK

rolled 11 = 11

FOUR TO DA FLOOR FOR DA WAAGH!

rolled 50 = 50

>>8836632
Consensus seems to be that we use our military assets to inflict damage upon enemy hostiles while cheering loudly.

>>8836788
This seems like a reasonable and sound course of actioWAUUUGGHHHHHHHH

Well if you want something done right....

You hurtle towards the line of nuns with speeds only ever possible with the power of red paint. Grotlicka seems to have be trying to steer with his eyes closed, not looking forward to being barbecued.

You shoot as much as you can. Nuns collapse and squirt out pink mist and shraphnel.

A crack. Oh zog!

The buggy crashes into a boulder and overturns. You go flying out of the vehicle and crash down on top of the immolator.

You lie there for a moment, stunned and dizzy. You're not getting crisped up!

You roll off the tank and crash onto the ground. When you look up you see that the gunner was crushed by your landing and the nuns on foot have been charged by your boyz.

You have defied all common sense and reason and have won. The power of the waaaagh indeed....

>>8836853
Wow, that's a lot of lines starting in "you".

>>8836853
IZ GROTLICKA OKAY? SPEAK TA ME, GROTLICKA!

Shout that more orkz are following you from the camp so da boyz should get to fighting as long as there's enuff left for evrywun.
If da 'umies are smart enuff, they'll make a run for it seeing as they're likely gonna be outnumbered and outgunned very soon.
If it works, charge them when they're turning and chop 'em up good.

rolled 51 = 51

>>8836853
lootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootloot
lootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootlootloot
lootlootlootlootlootlootloot

rolled 66 = 66

>>8836853
LOOT DAT SHIT HOMEBOY

See if Grotlikka's all right, then LOOT DAT POWER ARMOUR OFF DOSE BITCHES

I want a big suit uf girly armour to pound in some 'eads with!

>>8836853
Climb on top of the tank. Pose heroically!
"WAAAGH! Oo's da biggest? Oo's da kunningest? ME, BOSS TOOFSUM BAKHAKKA! You gitz stikk wif me an' we're gonna KRUMP DESE 'UMIES AN' BLUEBOYZ GOOD!"

rolled 87 = 87

>>8836926
this

It takes awhile, but you eventually get up and scale the tank. Groggily, you deliver a rousing speech to the other boyz. Apparently so good that they don't even notice that you are still quite small for an Ork.

Firing your slugga into the air is the only thing that eventually shuts 'em up enough for them to listen. You undoubtedly won the battle for them, and though few out of the total survived, it's likely that you have won their respect if not complete loyalty.

Grotlikka is brought out from the wreckage of your buggy by a pair of uvver Orkz. Still alive, but missing half of his choppa arm. He can be patched up.

You order everyone to begin looting, but it soon dawns on you that you have no way to tow the vehicles back to the camp. Sure, the immolator you landed on isn't really damaged, but it can't drag the other two back - especially when the wheels on them are busted.

>>8837011
Send a runna back to camp to get a few mekboyz out here!

rolled 75 = 75

>>8837011
Take the Working Tank back, and the buggy, send some mek boyz back for the other one.

>>8837011
WELP. IT LOOKS LIKE WORKOUT TIME.

Tell everybody to push the vehicles. Grotlicka's the Nob, so he gets to yell at everybody else, while we sit inside the Immolator, picking out the best loot.

>>8837022
>>8837025
No way. The Meks are probably going to demand payment, or a share of the goods. Tell these boyz to start pushing; it's a long way back to camp.

>>8837011
WUT? Yer tellin' me dis shit needs WHEELZ?
You iz mukkin' about. It just needs a BIGGAH ENGIN. Den it duzzn't need Wheelz.

>>8837039
Make all the boyz pick up the trukk.

They are the new wheels.

rolled 43 = 43

Don't forget to pack the dead 'humies in the back! They've got ded killy power bits on em, even if it din't help em much!

Promise you'll let da boys have the good chance to get damn flash guns in da tanks for them afta we git em back and get em fixed.

That'll get em motivated.

>>8837011
PUSH AN TOW
KEEP THEM ENGINS RUNNIN' BOYZ, WE ALL KNOW A CAR GOES FASTA WHEN ITS ENJIN'S LOUDA. DUNNO IF ITS DA SAME WHEN YA PUSH IT BUT WHY DA ZOG WUDDN'T IT BE?

rolled 49 = 49

>>8837035
yeah, put all the lootz in the tanks, rig up lines from both the buggy and the working tank. Drag the dysfunctional tank with the two working vehicles, and everyone else helps push

ARK HIVE DIS SHIT YA GROTS

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/requestinterface.html?

"Well I dunno about pushin'. I came 'ere for fightin' and winnin'."
"But 'e brought da winnin', mostly."
"Yeah...I guess that's roit...."

The Orkz grudgingly accept the prospect of non-fighty exercise and get to work.

Grotlikka can't stop whining about his arm, but being told that he can yell at the other Orkz perks him up to no end. Under his command, a bunch of boys get to work pushing the war buggy back over and piling the broken bits up near it.

Meanwhile, another group starts piling up the nuns in the broken tank and filling the working immolator with their guns. You order one of the boyz to drive it while you sit down an admire what a little cunning can do for an ambitious Ork.

The buggy won't be able to be towed along with the broken immolator, but a team of Orkz will be able to push it - although it will take many hours.

>>8837183
grab the ded orks teeth

>>8837183
>although it will take many hours.
WELL DEY BES' GIT STARTED IF'N DEY WANTS TO GET BACK TO CAMP IN ONE PIECE

rolled 8 = 8

>>8837183
Many Hours Later...
Pay da meks to bolt some more dakka onto the humie tanks.

get Grotlikka a Cyborknetik Arm. hes been a pretty good git.

>>8837211
DATS UNORKY.

SMASH UP DA HUMIES AND THROW DA RED STUFF ALL OVA DA TANKS AND GITS

DAT'LL SPEED T'INGS UP

rolled 43 = 43

HEY OP-BAWS! SKIP TA DA PART WHERE WE GETS BACK TA CAMP UNLESS WE GET JUMPED BY A PACK OF HUMIE GITS OR SOMEWHAT!

>>8837225
dis, and OP-baws needs to hurry dah krump up da git!

Several days later...

You have arrived back in camp with your warband. Grotlikka has had his wounds bandaged up and the immolators have both been rolled over to the mek workshop. It's going to cost a lot of teef to fix them up, but luckily you are now an extremely wealthy boy.

The buggy was pushed back by 10 Orkz that you promised payment to if they didn't just abandon or knick it. You spent the week gorging on squig pie and fungus beer. When you wake up, you feel a lot meaner than you did, and seem to have grown in size somewhat. Not a nob yet, but a beefy boy to be sure. [no homo]

After accounting for less than honest Orkz and expenses, you have:

-A warbuggy.
-Two 'umie burny tanks
-Your choppa & slugga
-35 gobz of teef (the rest were "lost" or too burnt up to be any good)
-12 'umie burna weapons
-The power armor paid for repairs and your boyz efforts.

You can do a lot now, though it's possible that Nobz or the Warboss will get jealous of you turning into a flash git...

rolled 89 = 89

>>8837443
sell all dats needed to repair da vehicles.

get grotlikka tended to.

when this is all done, equip da boyz wot pushed the buggy back with humie burnaz, and get them a trukk.

I've noticed that everything we have done so far is very un-goff like, are we sure the boss'll let us have all this dakka?

I SAW DAT UPDATE BEEN DONE DELETED

>>8837471
Yeah, I realized that I should change something.
>>8837467
It's doubtful. You're just very lucky that he has been tied up in fighting the blue gitz. You might want to think about what will happen when he and the toughest nobz come back.

rolled 71 = 71

Tell the orks to throw blood on the tanks cause it makes them red

every ork knows that makes it go fasta

I tink dat we need to lay low for a bit, you gitz. Let'z buy a place to hide stuffz and stash our dakka there, then lay off half of dese gitz what wanna follow us. Den we only look like, kind of flashy, and not all thret'nin to dem boss-likes. Waagh?

rolled 20 = 20

>>8837529
we could just kill da big boss, and rule da tribe

>>8837529
WAAAGH!

>>8837544

WE WAS JUST BORNZ, YOU MAD GIT! Not only do we notz stands a chance against all dere dakka, we'd have sum trubbles gettin all dem gitz in da camp to follow us, yer?

rolled 70 = 70

>>8837497
Strip da double-shoota off our buggy, shove spikes on da front, give it ta da baws and sez it's a CCW fer 'im to ram stuff wiv, and yez gonna get more.

Meanwhile strip the burnas off one tank, shootas off the other, and get one burnatank and one shootatank. How much would dat cost, mekboys?

An' how much would it take ta get some 'odat power armour off dose humie gits into a nob suit? I feel like bein 'ARD all of a sudden!

rolled 49 = 49

>>8837583
all dis talk about gubbinz and burnaz iz gettin me ARD

>>8837583

I like dis git. Consensus on him.

rolled 8 = 8

>>8837487

Zog off.

Join da Evil Sunz.

No bovver.

>>8837610
>>8837583
mak dat a dubble cons... consertz.... AGRREDMENTED!

(New to 40k and /tg/. This thread is the most awesome thing I have seen on this board. Thanks to everyone participating, especially to OP!! I now have a soft spot in my heart for Orkz)

Hand out the burnas to da boyz, keep the rest to yerself.

>>8837669
(Anyone who is worth anything has a soft spot for Orky goodness. Green is good. Red is betta.)

Off-topic, what the hell are gubbinz?

Turns out that the 'umie corpses you brought back for feastin' on were also used to paint the tanks. Pleased that they'd already done what you wanted without needing to be told, you leave them to their devices (which mostly consist of arguing over which type of choppa is best, and invariably ends in demonstrations using nearby grots).

Most of the boyz aren't that loyal to you and have been making up excuses about how you didn't even help them out that much. You can't take them all on one-on-one, and more importantly it'd probably be better to avoid getting the Nobz jealous of your luck until you are bigger and meaner. You tell most of your mob to zog off and not come crying to ya the next time they're being crisped up.

The mekboyz are a little overwhelmed with the amount of repairs and construction they have to do for the war with the blue gitz, but do manage to make time for your jobs - especially since you're fresh outta the muck with more money and luck than sense.

The mekboys break down the costs of modifications as such:

Turning the buggy into a BumpWaaaagh Kar: 3 gobz of teef
Converting one burna tank to shoota tank: 1.5 gobz of teef
Making the power armor work: The mekboys don't think it'll work.

>>8837694
http://www.the-waaagh.com/a-to-z.html
>>8837669
Thanks.

>>8837704
Should also add that you have 15 loyal boyz, plus Grotlikka, after you fire the rest.

>>8837704
Here iz what we want:

Haggle the BumpWAAAAGH Kar down to 2.5 gobz.
Put three of da burnaz on one tank for 1 gob.
Convert one tank to a shoota tank for 1.5 gobz.
Take apart the power armor and attach it to the tanks as extra plating.

>>8837754
Dis git knowz wat he'z talkin bout.
Consentilated.

rolled 72 = 72

>>8837704
Pay da mekboyz da teef to fix up da buggy and da tank, and dey can use da 'umie armor fer gubbinz. Also ask fer a bigga choppa.

>>8837754

Also, get them to weld together some armor plates for yourself from the power armor scraps.

Don't forget to get dat shoulder looked at! Wouldn't want no siknizz to get atcha!

>>8837801

And a metal Gob, for some extra chomp.

Your haggling skills aren't perfect, but you manage to haggle them down to 5 gobz for a shooty tank, extra burny tank and BumpWAAAGH Kar. It's all pretty simple welding, so it was never going to be too expensive. Putting on extra armor plates to the vehicles is a bit more involved and will cost 4 gobz of teef. Bearing in mind that you have several dozen gobz and they decay fast, spending a lot shouldn't be too much of a concern though.

Grotlikka is coping with his missing arm but if you want him to do any real work he'll need a graft or bionik arm. This won't be cheap, and there is a chance that it will make you look bad to have a minion with better gear than you.

As for your personal equipment, you can afford quite a lot. A metal gob will be 7 gobz, a nicer choppa will be 2.5 and making some basic armor plating will be 5.

>>8837820
You forgot to have it looked at, but it has healed up enough that it won't be a problem. You'll get a dead 'ard lookin' skar from it.

rolled 52 = 52

>>8837897
Get Grotlicka a new arm, but get ourselves a better choppa an some armor.

>>8837897
Get all deez vehiclez up an runnin reel good like, den get dat metal gob, armor and betta choppa. Wif wutevas left use to fix up Grotlika's arm all good like.

>>8837897
Pay the nine gobz for the conversions. Itz a good deal.

Haggle dem gitz down to 14 gobz for gettin a metal gob, moar dakka, and armor.

Then tink long an' 'ard about how much dat Grotlikka is worth. Does we beat 'im, take the teef, and get anudder servant? Or is he wurt the arm?

Also, look around for a herder lookin' for sum werk. We could use some assault squigs.

>>8837966
He's wurf da arm ya stoopid git! Wifout him we wuldn't haff even gotten all dis loot.

rolled 64 = 64

>>8837966
Rollin' for dat 'un.

>>8837990
Alright, forget the gob and buy Grotlikka an arm.

rolled 75 = 75

Ask how much it would be to get a BOBS on dat shoota tank.

>>8838005
Naw, im sure we kan still get the gob AN help Grot wif da arm, may not be da bestest but it'll still werk.

rolled 60 = 60

>>8838025
Wats a BOBS?

rolled 94 = 94

>>8838062

Bolt-On Big Shoota

rolled 37 = 37

>>8838080
We'z don't want ta piss off da boss too much just yet.

The business with the mekaniks comes to 23 gobz total for your gear and vehicle upgrades. You've now got:

-A BumpWAAAGH Kar with room for 5 boyz and a driver. Extra fast.
-One extra-burny tank with armor bits all over
-One twin-linked big shoota tank with armor bits all over
-A nice chomby iron gob (zogging hurt to have it put on), big nasty choppa (massive blade, extra sharp) and some 'eavy armor (kinda makes you look like a nun).
-12 gobz of teef
-12 boyz armed with burnas, three with choppas

The meks insist that a bionik arm for will cost alot. 5 gobz if it is just good enough for 'im to hold fings, 10 gobz if he wants a nice klaw.

>>8838097
letz givvim a nice klaw on dere, we'll get moar loot next battle anyway and he needs to be big an' tuff to be our git.

>>8838097
Let's just get 'im a good arm back. 'E'z da driva, and claws 'aint no good at drivin'.

I wunder how much gubbins we'd need ta build some fighta-bombas...?

LETS GO RAID SOME HUMIE BASES FOR VALKS

rolled 46 = 46

>>8838097
Wut da hell, give 'im a klaw. Give da tank to da boss when he gets back as a gift to show he's da biggest and da best!

rolled 87 = 87

>>8838097
Ask if you kin get 'im sumting rite in da middle for 7-9 gobz. All he really needs to do is drive, yer?

rolled 94 = 94

>>8838158
Also, don't forget to give da big nob da BumpWAAAAAGH Kart.

>>8838158
naw, da klaw is da bestest. He's our little git and if we getz in a pinch and needs to chop us up some 'umies his klaw will be werf da gobz.

>>8838184
Eh, fine. But only if we get to throw him at the enemy at some point.

rolled 15 = 15

Alroit, so our cons- conster- WE AGREE THAT:

-Get the git a good claw, like.
-Wait for da big nob and giv' im the Kart, hope he gives you some tipz on where to fin good loot.

>>8838215
WAAAAAAAGH

You put one big stompy foot down and insist on the best for your number one git.

"Are you moroniks or mekaniks? Bigga is betta, give 'im da zoggin' klaw!"

Eager to take your teef, they promise it'll be ready within a few days and shouldn't take more than an hour to attach.

All seems to be going well for you, but now you only have 2 gobz of teef left. You can krump da boyz into staying in line for awhile, but they'll get fed up and rat you out to a buncha Nobz if you don't keep them occupied.

Just as a reminder, you have three impressive vehicles, a (temporarily) crippled second in command and 12 boyz with burnas, plus three with choppas. The boyz who kept their choppas are big and mean - almost as much as you.

Also, there were no runt herders wantin' anythin' to do wiv ya, but you could probably get some grot slaves with your next load of loot.

rolled 24 = 24

>>8838291
Tell da boyz we'z waitin' till Grotlicka gets 'is klaw, then we's gonna go to da Nobz and help 'em WAAAGH!

>>8838291
ask around, find out whare the blueie and humie camps are

rolled 95 = 95

>>8838291

Keep waitin' for da big nob until we getz da claw for Grotlikka. Once dat's done, and if da big nob ain't here yet, go git some more loot!

rolled 35 + 20 = 55

>>8838317
>>8838320
>>8838334

Dese.

>>8838369
dis.

>>8838387
Dose.

>>8838369
>>8838387
>>8838414
demz

>>8838423
Derz

Greatest thread ever

yell at da meks to get it done, you got lootin to do

rolled 84 = 84

>>8838369
>>8838387
>>8838414
>>8838423
YOU'Z MUCKIN' ABOUT!

Dicks

>>8838334
What big nob?
>>8838320
Most people you ask look at you sideways as if you've got muck for brains. "Blue gitz camps is up north, 'umie gitz is all around. Take your pick, can't miss 'em."
>>8838317
Your boyz grumble and mostly fight amongst themselves while waiting. There are no serious injuries.

rolled 85 = 85

>>8838460

Does Grotlikka have 'is klaw?
I thought this camp had a warboss?

>>8838460
ALLRIGHT YA GITZ! ONCE GROTZ ALL GOOD AN' REDDY WE'Z GONNA GO AND CHOP UP SUM 'UMIES AND LOOT DEM GOOD!

Kil da humies take der teef

>>8838476
Oh right, duh. I guess I have been reading the references made to the big nob wrong. The main Warboss is busy fighting the blue gitz up north - it's a few hundred miles to the front line, and chances are he won't be visiting the camp much. There are a bunch of dead nasty nobz in charge of the camp though, but considering how big the settlement is they have mostly not noticed you so far.

Grotlikka's operation works perfectly and he's now the owner of a somewhat-too-big power klaw. He now walks unevenly with it, but after getting some killin' done he should bulk up nicely and get used to it. Having such a powerful weapon should make him a bit braver too.

All your boyz are ready and without any interruption from the nobz you can choose your targets again.

>>8838549
We don't take 'humie' teeth as currency around here, good sir.

We only take their weapons.

rolled 67 = 67

>>8838604
Let's find more of dem burny 'umies!

>>8838604
LETZ GO CHOP UP US SUM 'UMIES! WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

rolled 23 = 23

>>8838604
ROIT LADS, WE'RE GONNA GO GET STUCK IN WITH DA BOYZ!

Let's do the convoy and go up north, see what we can see. If nothing else we can raid any supply bases around the place, mebbe make a decent mess of one.

See if we can't persuade a mekboy to come along wit'us 'cus we can get 'im lodsa loot and things to mash up. (rollan)

rolled 88 = 88

Yeah go for fighting some more humies, they have the most lootable loot and provide the fightiest fights!

rolled 15 = 15

Go save da big boss from da blue grots

rolled 85 = 85

Rollan to employ a mek boy for future loot.

North to stomp the blues

(It seems like it's even in popularity. 'umies rolled higher though.)

You head out of the southern entrance of the encampment in a convoy, leaving the harrassed mek boyz glad to see the back of you. You'd given 'em plenty of teef, but the amount of brawlin' and grot killin' your boys did while you were waiting for the work to be done probably left them breaking even on profit. Still, they wouldn't exactly turn down your teef if and when you return from this raid.

The formation is about as loose as could expected from Orkz. Still, Grotlikka has displayed an interest in taktiks and says that the looted tanks should go at the front and back and the BumpWaaagh Kart in the middle, since theyz got the best armor and the only guns.

You are riding in the BumpWaaagh Kart with the three boyz with choppas. One of them is driving, so both you and Grotkilla only have to wait.

After a few hours you are jolted out of your boredom by a cry from one of your choppa boyz.

"Ambush! Sneaky skum got us trapped! What do we do, Boss?"

Looking around, it was pretty clear what had went wrong. Travelling through a valley flanked by high rocky outcrops. Three tanks rolled out in front, blocking your way. Behind you there is what looks like a killa kan and many 'umies in red.

What da zog are you gonna do now?

rolled 15 = 15

>>8838872
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Charge forward and smash into dem tanks, get rid of dem big shootas before dey can fire at us! Then we regroup and kill da 'umies!

>>8838872
which tank is in front/back?
is there room for the vehicles to turn around/maneuver at all?
how many boyz are in each tank?

rolled 81 = 81

>>8838910
Dis git got the right idea. What kind of tanks is dey?

>>8838922
da killa kan lookin git in da back gotz ta be a Drednawt

>OP##greenisgood
Sure is failing at tripfaggotry in here.

Use the two tanks to ram them down while you fire with ya bigga shoota, then get into da fight and finish the day with some good ole lootin

Smash dem gitz real good

rolled 87 = 87

>>8838988
NOT lootan. Runnan. We'z gonna run right into doze tanks so hard we're going to come out the other side and not stop.

>>8838964
Yoo is a git.

If da kan-lookin fing behind us is one a dem dreadnawts, den we go fer da tanks. Dem dreads is ded killy. But if it's one a dem weedy girly-dreds, we ram it good an proppa. Dey'z too tall an skinny to keep on standin if we ram em, see?

The tank in the front is the burny one. it has 5 boyz in it, including driver and gunner. Your buggy has you, Grotkilla and three choppa boyz. The shoota tank is at the back and has the other 7 boyz in it. There is some room to manouver but not alot. The pass is about 4 tank widths wide.

The enemy tanks in front of you are all similar to the wunz you looted last time. There are no troops there. Behind you are a few squads of 'umies in red, holding big choppas.


>>8838964
I pointed out my failure in my second post, and also changed my tripcode. Also, bit unfair to call it tripfaggotry in a thread like this.

rolled 64 = 64

>'umies in red

If that's power armour...

>>8839070
Grotlikka*

rolled 9 = 9

>>8839070
We's gonna charge da tanks in da front, then we turn and get da 'umies in the back!

>>8839070
is da kan lookin git a drednawt or a girlynawt?

rolled 10 = 10

CRASH THROUGH THE TANKS AND START ZOGGIN' IT!

A DEAD BIG THANKS TA DA OW PEE FER DIS HERE THREAD! YER DA MEANEST!

>>8839123
Girlynaught

rolled 96 = 96

>>8839070
Ram da Kann in da back with the other humies. They'z less 'ard, and eazier to chop up. And da humies is stupid enough to not shoot at dere own boyz, so we'll be safe till dere all ded.

>>8839154
Turn da shooty tank round and ram it into da girlynawt while dey gun down does red 'umies, the burney tank can bak up slowah and keep wiffin a good distance from da shooty tank to support if any of da red 'umies cause any trouble. Afta we kill dem we ram all dere tanks with boff our tanks and loots them reel good! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

rolled 17 = 17

>>8839211

Follow dis git'z WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

rolled 92 = 92

>>8839211
>>8839070
Smells like Sisters Repentia and a Repentant Engine.

I hope they like Skorcha burns. And hell if ORKZ actually strike before something else for once, what with their Evicerators.

You bellow out your orders to the gunners of each tank, who then duck inside and tell the drivers.

The shooty tank backs up slightly and then makes a u-turn, faster than you'd think woz wise in a cramped space . Grotlikka notices it too and suggests that you make that boy your driver, if he survives.

Meanwhile both the buggy and burny tank retreat slowly from the tanks in front. Flames won't do much to the tank, but it's lucky that your buggy is out of range at least.

The shooty tank speeds down the valley towards the 'umies and girlynaught. It's big shoota is handled well by the gunner, who manages to turn a bunch of the 'umies into jam. The girlnaught is hit too, but it's arms block the bullets from reaching the pilot. It braces itself for a counter charge and then leaps forward.

The distance is easily closed between the pair of vehicles and they hit one another with a huge crack. The gunner ork didn't duck inside in time and was mashed, but the girlynaught was knocked over onto the floor.

Carrying on, the shooty tank drives past the 'umies before attempting to make a turn. It can't shoot anymore, but it isn't damaged much. There is a big dent from the impact, and a few marks from the 'umie big choppas. But nothing much.

The 'umies are preparing to charge it, though. And it looks like their weapons could mess things up.

rolled 70 = 70

>>8839453
If they're not in assault range from that, we get to move, scoot, and assault first.

Hit them with the burny tank and all the dakka we have, then assault.
I2 Orks finally get to attack before someone else!

rolled 98 = 98

Wait for da 'umies to turn toward the shoota tank, then take 'em down from the back wif da Kart and da Skorcha!

>>8839494

THIS! Look at that roll, goddamn!

>>8839453
take da big shoota on da buggy and mash sum of dose 'umies! make sure ta keep your distance while da shoota tank turns round and rams da 'umies from behind.

Make some roadkill.

rolled 6 = 6

>>8839494

THIS

new thread. >>8839618

>>8839615
Damn you, you ruined the roll! Look what you did!