>Character makes cereal
>Nat 20
>Cereal becomes steak and eggs.

you know that one time you were competing against someone else way better then you at something and you obliterated them? Pretty much that.

NAT 20 Diplomacy

I JUST CLIMBED THE STAIRS SO HARD I'M IN SPACE

HELP I CAN'T BREATHE

>Character feeds the trolls on the internet
>Max roll
>Trolls autosage the thread

NAT 20 Intimidate

My coffee is fucking delicious. Shit yeah!

>Begin making cake
>Max roll
>Somone BRINGS YOU a freshly baked cake

Did jumping jacks.

Kicked earth into sun.

NAT 20 Perception

>Character coaches a football team
>Max Roll
>pic related

>Character decides to wear clothes
>Max Rolls
>I'm not even black!

>PRESS X TO JASON.
>Max roll
>Jason appears in front of my TV.

>Charisma
>MAX ROLL

This thread isn't even two pages long and I already feel like it should be archived.

>Character goes jogging
>Nat 20
>Character becomes The Flash

>>Does a college Essay
>>Rolls nat. 20
>>Book deal, baby!

>Hide behind a corner
>Max Roll
>Where in the world is Carmen Sandiago?

>Nat20 Willpower

NAT 20 Stealth

>Buy lottery ticket
>NAT 20
>Win Belgium

>Going on a bike ride, fuck yeah
>Nat 20
>I Accidentally the Whole Tour de France

>Run for president
>Nat20
>SO SAYS THE GOD EMPEROR OBAMA

>>Buy some milk
>>Roll Nat. 20
>>Milk refreshes all your hearts and makes you temporarily invincible

>Character punts a football during a school game
>Max roll
>Kills the receiving quarterback

>Character whistles tune to pass the time
>Max roll
>Gets awarded 2 platinum records

>>8605877
SOCIALIST!

>Spot Check
>Nat 20
>Awwwwww yeaaaahhhh

NAT 20 Athletics Jump

rolled 19 = 19

>Post on /tg/
>Roll a natural...
>Cry some more

>Fap
>Max roll
>Impregnate myself

>Jacking off
>Max roll
>Thx op 10/10 i cum on cat hiss at penis

>>8605890
>receiving quarterback

Natural 20 Spot Check

>>Fold socks
>>nat. 20
>>Space-time shatters as one pair folds into 4 pairs.

>Breaking open a peanut.
>Natural 20
>All the peanuts in the bowl break open and the shell and skins fly into the garbage bin.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

>Post on /tg/
>Nat 20
>Create RubyQuest

>Character writes letter home to mom.
>Rolls max numbers.
>Writes best selling epic saga of action, sex, and profound life questions.

>Cast hypnosis
>Max roll!
>TWIIIIIIIISSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTT

>>Ask out a girl
>>nat. 20s
>>BECOME A SOLAR EXALT

>Write a letter to a friend
>Nat20
>New York Times bestselling short story: A Letter to My Dearest.

>>8605930
WAY TO FUMBLE, FUMBLES

>>8605970
But you'll still never get a date ;_;

>>8605979
Too late bitch that money is mine! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

>Take asprin
>Nat 20
>Cure cancer

>roll to lift a fist-sized ball that is your spaceship (warped into such a shape)
>roll a one (DH) "+60 penalty; max"
>pocket it, gm rages, says its 4 tons.

rolled 8 = 8

>>8605990
BLAM.

OOOOOOH WHATCHA SAAAAAAY...

>>8605987
No, cause during that boost you get right when you Exalt, you totally score on the first date.

>Roll dice
>Nat 20
>My presence is needed in another universe!

donate blood at hospital
nat 20
cure for cancer found.

>hock a loogie
>natural 20
>spit out singularity of mucus. childhood enemies are within the event horizon. bitches think it's hot.

>>8605915
Holy fuck, I don't know how someone wouldn't be fucking shaking in terror while sitting unsupported at that height.

>>8605983
>Fumble
>Nat20
>Catch it with your foot, do a somersault and continue on running

>Character writes a paper
>Max roll
>Paper bursts into flame

>>8605990
>File a civil lawsuit against one "Thatassholewritefag" over ownership rights of the best piece of literature ever penned through a previous Nat20.
>Nat20
>Win the ownership rights of EVERYTHING!

>doing homework
>critical hit
>write the Origin of Species

>Decide to roll 1d6
>Max Roll
>Roll a 20

>Try to troll tg
>Max Roll
>Post Love can Bloom

>>8605970
Fuck yes

>Order fast food
>Nat 20
>President of Earth

>Programming random shit
>Natural 20
>Create the technological singularity

>>8606043
That'd be a Natural 20 Forgery Check, mah boi

>Tax Returns
>Nat 20
>Find $100,000 the government owes you

>>8606053
>Post Love Can Bloom
>nat 20
>Combine Squad Broken, Love Can Bloom and My Immortal into a horrible!fic singularity; Destroy the universe.

>Doing exercises
>Roll 20
>Receive permanent +6 STR bonus

>Write patch for Linux driver
>Nat 20
>Spawn Skynet

>>8606041
>Write autobiography to gain sympathy for my struggle against government copyright laws.
>Straight tens on 30 dice.
>Conquer world with legions of fanatical fans, publicly execute anonymous as an enemy of the empire.

>Breaking up with a girl
>Natural 1
>Get married

doodle on napkin
nat 20
single handedly bump humanity up 2 tech levels.

>Make a rookie named Gaston on X-Com
>Nat. 20
>Take six hits from an alien monster without a scratch

>>8606063
Yeah, writing the Finality of Species would be a nat20 homework.

>Go to company picnic, participate in Potato Sack Race
>Roll Natural 20
>SAVE THE WORLD FROM EVIL CORPORATION, WITH ACCOMPANYING EXPLOSIONS

>>8606106
>Marksdorf makes last stand
>Natural 20
>Marksdorf survives with no health and 5 fatal wounds, and kills the alien before dying 4 turns later

>>8605740

DH:

>Acolyte is studying in Inquisition archives on how to counter demonic incursions
>Nat 1
> Step through a door into the Black library.

Shit.

>Character is preparing toast
>Full successes
>A packet worth of crispy, parmesan covered, garlic and oregano scented croque madames

>>8606082
>Face execution at the mercy of Thatassholewritefag
>Nat20 SAVING THROWS
>Come back from the dead and extract revenge by overthrowing Thatassholewritefag and assuming control of the world.

get to class late, realize it is a test day, realize you have not studyed. Decide "eah screw it"
Pencil in boxes at random.
Be the only person to get above 90% on the test, and get awarded extra credit.
NATURAL 20 BITCHES!

>applying chapstick
>nat 20
>MY LIPS FEEL AWESOME

>>8606106
NO ONE CAN TAKE A HIT LIKE GASTON

>>Nuclear Chemistry
>>Nat 20
>>Plutonium now only generates kittens as waste.

>Sage thread
>Nat 20
>Entire Internet deleted

Take random photo using crappy cell phone cam
nat 20
Time Magazine 'Photo of The Century' and Pulitzer winner.

>>8606157
That kinda happened to me. I had only studied a couple chapters and ended up getting 91

>Pray
>Max Roll
>You are already God

DH:

>grapple chaos titan that BBEG is in
>roll 1
>grabs titan and throws into the sun

>>8606018
>donate blood at hospital
>nat 1
>My name Is Robert Nevill im a survivor living in New York

>>8606169

>Sage thread
>Max roll
>Offending poster's computer explodes

>>8606166

>Need to figure a way to keep kittens from unbalancing ecosystems
>Nat 20
> Putting kitties in an atom smasher results in plutonium

>>8606166
It solves the energy AND world hunger crises.

>character eats breakfast
>max roll
>eggs hatch inside stomach, bursting out at lunch time to brutally peck everyone to death in a chickeny storm.

>>butter some toast
>>nat 20
>>knife spreads INFINITE BUTTER

>>8606169
>Sage thread
>Nat 20
>4chan DDoS the internet

fix'd it for ya

>>8606193
lol

>Rouge builds a car
>Dm wasn't too pleased about high rolls and attempts to destroy it
>Rouge Rolls 20, car doesn't break down, furthermore it never will
>Dm retaliates by trying to kill us with trolls from a cave
>I negotiate with trolls so they don't kill us

>>Go to pet store
>>nat 20
>>You and Clyde the Orangutan are BFFs

>>Attack spammer over internet
>>Nat 20
>>Kimmo's head explodes spontaneously

>>8606165
Gaston was a manly prince.

post random three word comment in /b/
natural 20
Internet shutdown, riots worldwide, economy collapses.

>>8606202
Fuck yes if I were a wizard in the D&D universe I would totally craft a Knife of Infinite Butter.

>Imply implications
>Nat 20
>Derive Theory of Everything

>Change a lightbulb
>Nat 1
>Accidentally the U.S. power grid.

>>8606106
its only ever the rookies that get that lucky...

>>8606198

Writing a newspaper story about the high school chess guild.

NAT 20

PULITZER PRIZE!

>>8606270
I want to play a game with just a superheroic rookie team, with Marc Lecointe and Gaston teaming up to take down xenos

>>8606248
Calling the post right now. "lol gtfo fag"

Critical coffee

>be a faggot
>max rolls
>hey there I'm Zhaku

>Tries to inform people of scientology
>Nat20
>LOL CHANOLOGY WARS DESU DESU DESU!

>>Challenge Gym Teacher
>>Nat 20
>>Win your guns at age 14 through skill and cunning and become the youngest gunslinger in all of Gilead's history

>Tune your car
>Nat 20
>Your Dodge now drives like a Lexus

>start a band
>natural 20
>Kamelot

> Make flash game for assignment
> Natural 20
> create photo realistic virtual reality.

>create a thread on /tg/ about rolling high on mundane tasks
>NAT 20
>see attached, in a literal sense.

>>8606329

BWAHAHAHAHA

>This Thread.

No, sorry mom, I can't get up today, I just found something awesome on /tg/...

masterbation
rolled=nat 20
bowlshaking orgasm you shit yourself then pass out for 2d4+3 rounds rolled a 3, 3,+3=9
you lay in a shitty pile for 9 rounds

>>8606347
>make an rpg
>natural 1
>d&d 3.5

>make an rpg
>nat 20
>d&d 4

>Go to flirt with the new girl and ask her how she's doing.
>nat 20
>Get a blowjob in the produce cooler

>make a post on tg
>natural 1
>>8606373

>Try to start flame war
>Nat 1
>Thread Continues as normal

>>8606219
>nat20
>colour builds car

>start car for work
>NATURAL TWENTY
>HIGHWAAAAAY TO THE DAAAAANGER ZONE

Attempt to make a fake religion.
Natural 20
Create an actual religion.

wait... isent that how Scientology started? Wait, thats a cult/scam.

>try to be clever
>nat 1
>>8606404

>Scratch arse
>Nat 20
>Liposuction of the buttocks

>>8605740
>Play D&D
>Nat 20
>Fail Critical Confirmation

continuing the car theme..

>adjust carburetor to try and eliminate rough idle
>natural 20
>increase efficiency of engine by 500%

>>8606424
mormons got their start that way.

>Try to replace broken graphics card
>Nat 20
>Invent quantum computation

>Go to change spare tire
>NAT 20
>Hovercar

>roll a monk for a friend's campaign who's known to be a MASTERMIND and a railroader
>nat 20 on character creation
>DRAGON KICK YOUR ASS INTO THE MILKY WAY (MILKY WAY!)
>DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T LIKE THE BALLBUSTER (BALL BUSTER!)
>MY ARM
>MY ARM
>MY ARM
>MY ARM
>MY ARM
>MY ARM
>I SUMMON UP THE POWERS OF THE GOD HAND

>walking to class
>natural 20
>my footfalls push earth away from the sun, counteracting global warming
>walking home
>natural 1
>my footfalls push earth toward the sun, reversing the positive effects of my previous trek
>this happens monday through friday

>>8606450
Ok my brain just sprained

>Give flower to girl
>Nat 20
>princess flower crown

>Join the Army
>Nat 20
>Become a Spess Mahreen

>>8606456
I can get behind this.

>start truck
>nat 20
>drive atlas

I can't be the only one who has thought about this.

>Believe through hardwork and valiant spirit one can accomplish anything
>nat 20
>Become Modern day Patton,
>create Anglo Empire
>I accidently the Imperium of Man

>Create houserules to improve D&D
>Nat 20
>Develop FATAL

>>8606532
As someone who has actually read part of the FATAL handbook and hasn't lost his mind, that is a natural 1, sir.

Seriously, that's trying to overcomplicate shit.

>construct a model panther
>nat 20
>Pic related

>buy package of oreos
>nat 20
>pic related

>>8606552
>Construct a model partner
>Nat 20
>Sexy sexy robot girl

>make characters for Adeptus Evangelion
>nat 20
>pic related

>>8606551
its ok, he posted with a Natural 1 when he made that post. Clearly.

>>8606552

>>Take a look, it's in a book
>>Nat 20
>>READING RAINBOOOOOOW

>>8606517

>start truck
>nat 20
>drive MEGAS

Fix'd

>>8606595

>play with legos
>nat 20
>GAZE UPON MY WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR

>>Run for president
>>nat 20
>>Teddy Roosevelt 2.0

>>8606605
This, sir, is for you.

My truck is even that same colored blue.

>Play folk music at the tavern to earn some silver for drinks
>nat 20
>Blow out the windows

>>8606605

>attempt to overcome bat phobias
>nat 20
>BECOME LADY OF BATS

>>8606613
>Be pedantic about Americanisms on the Internet
>Nat 20
>Entire population of USA switches to British English

(Nat 1, make typo or similar screwup in this post.)

>>8606637
>play music at a tavern to earn some silver
>nat 20
>nat 20
>nat 20
>challenge all nine archdemons of the Nine Hells to rock-off in a campaign long adventure, eventually defeating Asmodeus, doing it all for a few free drinks, a solid gold guitar, and a BROfist from Zaphkiel

Oh yeah. That happened.

>attempt physics experiment
>nat 1
>pic related

>>8606662
>Try to bring back Americas pride and strength
>nat 20
>ROBOT REAGAN

>>8606605
On further recollection, this is also for you.

>>8606670
*Ouch*. Brutal.

>>8606670
what is that?

>>8606705
The sarcophagus constructed over the Chernobyl reactor after it china'd.

>Another day at the job in Geneva
>nat 20
>Find higgs boson under ashtray

>>8606705
I believe that is the concrete sarcophagus surrounding the blown nuclear reactor at Chernobyl.

It's slowly degrading from within. More concrete must be continually added. Due to increasing surface area, this is a losing proposition.

Thanks, former USSR states, for not bothering to build a containment vessel in the first place.

>poop
>nat 20
>VELOCITY

>>8606722
Ouch.

>>Pray to God
>>Nat 20
>>Angelic visitation, not one of the wimpy baby with wings ones either. One of the crazy Lovecraftian ones from the Old Testament.

>>8606732
If it makes you feel better, apparently the wildlife around Chernobyl is thriving.

>>Roll to pick up chicks
>>Nat 20
>>Pic related

>>8606728
>Find higgs boson under ashtray
>Ray chen rolls a nat 1
>INTO THE LOOKING GLASS
>FUCK YEAR JOHN RINGO

my character is teaching a kindergarden ESL class.

In order to excite them into repeating alphabet letters, I start having them parrot Lil'Jon and scream YEAH! WHAT! OKAY!

>roll a natural 20

The entire campus bursts into singing GET LOW and my coteachers start gyrating on the stripper poles that erupt from the floorboards.

>see goatse
>Natural 20
>has goatse see itself

>Swing Pick
>max roll
>8.8 earthquake shakes city. No survivors.

>>8606741
I believe it's even classified as a nature reserve of some kind now that it no longer dissolves the pituitary gland of local fauna.

Chernobyl itself was more rampant stupidity than bad luck, though, really---the place suffered a chronic local maxima of HERPADERP. Three Mile Island was more of a chain of natural 1s.

>>8606685
And for the flip side of that..
Nat 1
Pic Related.

>blow drying hair
>Max roll
>blow dryer set to highest setting

>>8606600
READING. FUCKING. RAINBOW. BITCHES.
>Patch Dorf Fortress
>natural 20
> Dorf Fortress becomes sentient

>>8606810

>drive a stryker
>nat 1
>~

>>8606830

>troll eurofags on /b/
>Max roll
>all non-americans in the world spontaneously combust

>>8606842

MY BIKE!

>>8606858
>natural one on roll

>Post monstergirls to /tg/
>Nat 20
>FURRY HARMONY HARMONY for ever and ever

>>8606830
is that a smily face about to receive bukkake from a bunch of other smily faces' dicks?

>swing the bat
>max roll
>the moon is split.

>>8606741

It just looks that way.

Bet if you cut them open they'd be riddled with tumors.

>do that clotting experiment to find what your blood type is
>nat 20
>~

>make profession(airship pilot) check
>nat 20
>YOURS IS THE DRILL THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS

>>8606928
As opposed to if there area was habitable by humans, in which case they would be riddled with bullets.

rolled 3 = 3

>Create quirky flash game for Adult Swim.
>nat 20
>ALWAYS

>cough
>nat 1
>cause a ripple effect annihilating all life in the universe

>Get blood test
>Nat 20
>AB or O, your choice. You also have an identical twin you never knew about who can give you the kidney you need

>attempt to learn what 'sit' means
>nat 20
>pic related

>masturbating
>nat 20
>twin sister spontaneously impregnated.

>twin sister spontaneously impregnated
>bluff
>nat 20
>convince her god did it.

>look in telescope
>nat 20
>discover alien life, they also want you to be their emperor due to a prophecy.

>get through downtown Chicago unnoticed
>nat 1
>pic related

>Add thread to archive
>Nat 20
>Suptg replaces Wayback Machine and Google, also becomes sentient

>Make a Knowledge: Physics check
>Natural 20
>Warp Drive

Conversely...

>Make a Knowledge: Physics check
>Natural 1
>Chemistry

>>8606990
>Peanut Untouchable

Well, there's my new character name.

>>8606165
I know it's way late, but I just couldn't resist...

No one smokes like Gaston!
No one tokes like Gaston!
No ones hits are incredibly big as Gaston's!

>>8607227
He must be a gay nigger rapist.

tie shoe
nat 20
invent velcro and it never becomes "old man"

>grapple check
>natural 20
>pic related

>Character is gardening using a hoe
>Max roll
>Punctures the earth so hard it splits the country in two

>Character nervously calls up childhood crush to ask if she'd like to go out for a cup of coffee..
>MAX CHA ROLL
>Childhood crush immidietely appears at the door, stark naked and grinning, holding the keys to a new Porsche in one hand and a copy of the 5th Edition Dark Eldar Codex in the other.

>character throws a football
>max roll
>World War III

>>8607743

Dammit, I lol'd

>Go for piss
>Max roll
>...Yeah...About New Orleans...

>Character eats some rice at an all you can eat Chinese buffet.
>MAX ROLL
>No more rice in China.

>>8605740
>attempt suicide by jumping off the building
>nat 1
>you miss

>>8607783
I broke the dam...

>Wish you were over at girlfriends house
>Nat 20
>You now have the power of teleportaition, and she's waiting, in a french maid/School girl outfit with a large steak, and ready to give a blowjob.

>Quest thread
>Max roll
>>8607804

>Climbing a wall
>Nat 20

>roll consolidation after assault
>nat 20
>conquer terra, rape emprah

>Character tries to make another bored (no lie)
>Natural 20
>Other character falls dead asleep for 12 hours

This thread,epic

>character interrogates prisoner
>natural 20
>The answer to life, universe and everything

>Character punches a man
>Max roll with bonuses
>Man turns into door

>Fire 1 lance from an escort at a cruiser
>Roll critical (6 on D6)
>Roll critical result (12 on 2d6)
>Roll extra damage
>Hit 6 more times
>Enemy heavy cruiser crippled

Roll dice
Natural 20
Rolled a natural 20

>be a faggot
>nat 20
>/tg/

>>Be a Blood Angels Dreadnaught with two Blood Claws.
>>Max Rolls
>> Infinite Kills. Forever.

>Get out of bed.
>Nat...

OH.

>>8606532

>Roll for anal circumference
>Max roll
>FATAL uninvents itself

>just idling around
>nat 20
>become schools vice president

Actually happened.

>spamming F5 on epic thread
>nat 1
>PC RRODs

>>8606949
>troll /v/
>nat 1
>HARMONY HARMONY OH LOVE

>Chuckle at thread
>Natural 20
>Wipe roommate's raid

>>8610629

>Roommate chuckles at thread
>nat 20
>Roommate promoted to Guild Leader

>try to roll a d20
>nat 20
>roll a d100 again
>nat 1
>back to a d20

>>8605740
>take shit
>Nat 20
>Never need to shit again.

>Tell parents you're gay
>Nat 1
>Not gay anoymore, parents still furious

>>8610683
>Tell parents you're gay
>Nat 20
>They hook you up with a cute guy

>"I'll look at /tg/ ONE more time, then I'm going to bed."
>Nat 1 on Will save
>"Oh shit, I have class in 20 minutes!"

>>8610687
>>Tell parents you're gay
>Nat 20
>So are they

>>8610687
>Tell parent's you're gay
>Natural 10
>They're pretty alright with it.

>>8610707
Oh, I lold

>Jerkin off
>Max roll
>Hand becomes several fine bitches
>so ronery ;_;

>>8610714
>lolling
>nat 20
>roommates are awoken and spontaneously bursts into laughter
>entire neighborhood driven mad with contagious laughter

>Playfully punch your friend in the shoulder
>Righteous Fury
>Break his spine and cry to death

>Picking my nose
>Natural 20
>Found some uranium

>Applying for job at Wal-Mart.
>Nat 20.
>Become President of Earth.
>Kill all involved with FATAL.
>Severely reprimand all involved with the new Blood Angels codex.
>Select several fine bitches and aged liquor for myself, Keith David, Jason Statham, and Stephen Hawking.
>Pic related.

> picks up telephone to call for pizza.
> maximum roll.
> pizza delivery service is already asking for your order before you even dial.

>>8610822
Fuckin ace!

>Write a post on /tg/
>Natural 20
>Accedently a proof for wheater OP is a faggot or not

>>8610822
> picks up telephone to call for pizza.
> maximum roll.
> pizza delivery service is already delivering your order before you even dial

FTFY

>Accidentally a whole bottle
>Nat 20
>Accidentally the whole world. Is this bad?

>>8610822
>Call to order pizza
>NATURAL 20!!
>15 minutes later, hot naked chick arrives at front door, pleasuring herself with a stick of pepperoni.

>Writing a book
>Max roll
>New belief system formed based on it, one billion followers.

>>8610924
>Diplomacy check
>Nat 20
>She is now pleasuring herself with your pepperoni stick, cooking you a pizza.

>And maybe for some gaming later.

>Sage thread
>Nat 20
>4chan no longer sucks

>>8610898
Has actually happened. Dickwad was trying to prank both me and the pizza place. Pick up the phone, pizza guy shows up with what I was about to order.

>Do a drive-by to kill a nigger
>natural 20
>my bullets kill every nigger in the city

This actually just happened.
>Opening the Batman & Robin DVD box with the blade of some dull scissors
>Nat 20
>Cut through the box and almost scratch the DVD

Oh shi-

>>8610822
>>8610898
>>8610924
>>8610940

I actually planned on ordering pizza later today...

Let's hope for some 20s, boys.

>>8610961

This is you:
>Try to sound like a toughguy on the internet by saying "nigger".
>Max Roll
>Still look like a fucking 12 year old craving attention on /b/.

>>8611133
WELCOME BACK MY FRIENDS TO THE TROLL THAT NEVER ENDS
WE'RE SO GLAD YOU COULD ATTEND
COME INSIDE COME INSIDE

WELCOME BACK MY FRIENDS TO THE TROLL THAT NEVER ENDS
WE'RE SO GLAD YOU COULD ATTEND
COME INSIDE COME INSIDE

WELCOME BACK MY FRIENDS TO THE TROLL THAT NEVER ENDS
WE'RE SO GLAD YOU COULD ATTEND
COME INSIDE COME INSIDE

>>8605890
lol what retarded team has thier QB doing kick return. silly neckbeard

>Cook dinner
>Natural 20
>Invent new taste sensation that's taking the nation.

>Have sex with woman
>Max roll
>She gets pregnant with primarchs

>fart
>max roll
>gnarliest fart ever, people scream and vomit

>Burp
>Nat 20
>Shake building off foundation and condemn it

>>8605740
>Character closes Door
>Max roll
>Door will never be opened again

>Swallow a packet of seeds
>Max roll
>Shit trees

>Character is a Roman emperor seeking to entertain the masses
>Natural 20
>A hundred tiny blonde girls are raped simultaneously by a horde of baboons

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_and_cultural_perspectives_on_zoophilia#Roman_Games_and_Circu
s

>>8611974
Ok, writing this down.
If I ever go back in time. NEVER go to Rome, alternatively GO TO ROME.

>>8611974
Holy shit. I mean, I saw that episode of Rome where the Bithynian satrap asked Brutus and Cassius to let him see a Roman woman fucked by baboons, but had no idea it was real.

>Doodling in math class
>Nat 20
>Create Cultist-chan

>>8611974

oh romans u so silleh

>>8605959
m night shyamalan is a faggot

>Playing in the sandbox
>Natural 20
>Find Jimmy Hoffa

>>8612390

I swear only 3 people on this board are going to understand that.

>>8612426
Two others...

>>8612426
Make that another one, and it's well before my time too. Do I win a prize?

>Try to fix the computer
>Natural 20
>GREAT JOB, SCOT

>>8612450
And I am the third.

>Buy pizza
>Max roll
>Lose money

Wooo

>Skip test
>Natural 20
>Test got aced

>>8612473

contract aids
nat 20
scientists find the cure for aids within my blood

>Start singing
>Max roll
>Picture related

>Ask for favor
>Max roll
>Favor is done

Fuck year.

>Take test
>Max roll
>Fail class, because you missed the real one

>>8612513
FUCK YEAR

>>8606552
>post cool model
>nat 1
>mistake panther with tiger II

>Call shenanigans on God
>Natural 20
>BECOME MORGAN FREEMAN
pic related

>>8611974
Oh... I never thought it was historically accurate.

>>8612630
wat

>Eating soup
>Max roll
>Not a drop spilled or left in the cup, and not a single annoying slurping noise made.

Natural 20 Attack Roll

>>8611974

Yeah..

If Rome didn't do so much good when it came to sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, I am pretty sure they would handily earn the title of "Most evil empire that ever was".

All the awesome in this thread aside, rolling for mundane tasks is stupid.

However, what do you do when a player critically fails at a non-combat, non-critical skill? Like perception? Loses his eyesight?

>>8612706
Sees something that isn't there. Goblins coming from the west? I'm sure there's a troll to the east, guys!

>>8612687
But apart form all that, what have the romans ever done for us?!

>>8612687

They kinda earn it despite that. I mean, being well organized and ordered doesn't make you good.

>>8612706

He perceives something inaccurately. Trying to perceive a hidden door? Finds a bear.

>push somebody with my foot
>max successes
>dropkick that bitch through a window

>>8612706
>Jump in place for no reason
>Crit Fail
>Break both legs

>Search check for a section in your textbook
>Natural 20
>Sudden total understanding of all material covered by the book.

>>8612739
this is now even more hilarious

>try to make toast
>Crit Fail
>they shoot from the toaster and lodge in your eyes

>>8605749
>Character makes cereal
>Natural 1
>Fire

>>8608349
Ffffffffffffffffff...that's just showing off.

>>8612725
I doubt that there is any empire, except maybe the maurya empire during ashoka's reign, in all human history that can be called "good". And for the one that can, it's probably only because we mostly know myths about it.

>>8612826
The Swedish Empire says "Fuck you"

>>8612852

>>8612795

>>8612875
Wait, what the fuck is that?

>>8612889
My pic

>>8612899

truth

>reading through random threads
>Nat 20
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXuxntEiUbI

This was supposed to be about mundane activities. When you're fighting a dragon you won't become the emperor of everything and cure cancer LOLOLOL when rolling a 20.

>>8613152
Shut up OP, you created something bigger than yourself, deal with it.

>>8612739
Fuck, this actually happened to my dad.

>Get out of truck
>Nat 1
>Shatter tibia

How, motherfucker? HOW?

>Life check
>Nat 20
>Live alone in your trailer in the middle of nowhere in a country town where nobody can bother you, you can play video games and music as loud as you want, yell in your house, dance in your house, etc etc, and you have plenty of food and drink that you don't have to leave the house for MONTHS.

Every fucking day of my life. Feels amazing to have good luck with dem rolls

>attempt to download music from the interenet.
>nat20
>I accidentally an entire car.