drool a little

>Hit self with flail once.

>>8444117
After a few moments, your idle animation starts playing.

>pick up the mace and eat it.

>Go back to bed.

Pick up the flail, hit the bed to break it, see what it drops. Exit the room.

>>fuck mace

>Grab flail

>Go north

FUCK HURRY UP AND GRAB THAT FUCKING HAMMER FUCKING THING. WE'VE GOT PLACES TO FUCKING BE.

>>8444131

You use the flail on yourself.

You take 1 damage.

>Eat a heart.

>>8444194
>Go north.

>>8444194
FUCK HURRY UP AND BEAT THE REST OF THE HEARTS OUT OF OURSELVES. THAT WAY WE GET TO THE AFTERLIFE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. SHIT.

ride the flail like a horsey

keep using flail on self.

>>8444055
go north...

>>8444146
The bed is defeated!

DROPPED ONE POTION OF HEALTH

>>8444250
drink

Beat the potion with the flail.

>>8444250
>Smash potion with flail!

>>8444250
DRINK THAT SHIT NIGGER

rolled 9 = 9

>Drink potion
>Head North

>>8444256
Potion added to inventory.

Flail dropped.

>>8444296

ENGAGE IN A LENGTHY TRADING CHAIN WITH THE ULTIMATE GOAL OF ACQUIRING A BOOMERANG

search for gnome brothels

>>8444296
GO NORTH DAMN IT.

>>8444273
You use potion on yourself, and then pick the flail back up.

>>8444296
why the fuck did we drop it? pick that fucker up and head north

>>8444296
we need a chain

when you do hook it up to the flail and increase it's reach

>>8444336
Go south.

>>8444336
>coolaid-man your way though the north wall

Heading north, you find a way outside.

And a cyclops.

give him the flail

rolled 3 = 3

>>8444396
DIPLOMACY CHECK

>>8444396
he's dancing.
dance with him.

>>8444396
>Flail to the nuts!

>>8444396
walk around him as he dose not possese depth preception and you could easily slip past him

>>8444401
In exchange for the flail, he gives you the Mask of the Cyclops.

WITH THIS MASK YOU CAN PRETEND CYCLOPS

Afterwards he heads off-screen, never to be seen again.

Obvious exits are east, west, north, and south.

rolled 19 = 19

>>8444055
COVER ONE EYE WITH HAND TO BLEND IN

>>8444467
travel

to all of them

Eat the mask

>>8444467
Look for an exit that isn't so obvious.

>>8444467
south

>>8444467
go east with your new mask

that's obviously where their hideout is

rolled 13 = 13

>>8444467
dig straight down for the less obvious exit

>>8444467
Divide self into 4 and go all 4 directions

find Mordor

simply into it

>>8444467
Burrow underground.

Construct additional pylons

>>8444491
This!

You fold the mask into a spade, and begin digging down.

>>8444550
You have not enough minerals

>>8444550
Somehow incorporate flail into the digging.

>>8444550
Spawn More Overlords

>>8444566
WE DON'T HAVE THE FLAIL. THE CYCLOPS HAS IT NOW.

>>8444581
You Must Construct Additional Pylons

>>8444581
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
ffffffffffffffffffffff.
Lets see whats on TV!

steal battries from brother's cd player

.

Breaking through, you find an illithid lair!

They don't seem to have seen you yet.

rolled 4 = 4

>>8444594
THE REMOTE, IT HAS WORKING BATTERIES!

>>8444632
seems dangerous. I suggest a retreat.

>>8444632
kill them with the cyclops mask/spade

>>8444632
Wear mask

they'll run away

>>8444632
offer them the mask!

>>8444632

ofucofuc

>>8444632
SPAWN MORE ZERGLINGS!

Offer, kill, or wear?!

You'd better hurry, it won't be long before they see that question mark.

>>8444681
WEAR

>>8444681
KILL

>>8444681
OFFER

>>8444681
kill those fucks

>>8444681

WEAR IT

>>8444681
hide that question mark

>>8444681
MARRIAGE!

>>8444681

COOK CALAMARI IN AN INTIMIDATING FASHION

pcik charmander

>>8444681

KILL 'EM ALL

>>8444681
THROW A POKEBALL, SHIT.

You begin your stealthy assault.

The illithid is defeat!

THE ILLITHID IS ALARMED

>>8444778
HIT SNOOZE!

>>8444773
THIS
>>8444778

Turn off the game.

Take out the cartridge.

Put in pokemon.

>>8444681
SEDUCE

>>8444778
>>8444778
Cyclops mask ON

SMASHH

>>8444778

REFER TO FINAL FANTASY VI

DRESS UP AS FAMOUS PERSON YOU BEAR A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE TO, SING "ARIA DE MEZZO" TO CAPTURE THE HEARTS OF FANS EVERYWHERE

You had to trade your poke'balls to get the bed!

In your hesitation, you take 1 damage from the illithid.

>>8444845
Mask. Smash. Seduce brain in jar

>>8444845
put on mask
punch illithid in the junk

>>8444845

Do these -- >>8444833 >>8444859

Follow up on the latter with >>8444839

You put on the mask and the illithid is immediately impressed by your transformation magicks.

After singing, and demonstrating your high charisma, he is convinced you are a powerful evil sorcerer.

>>8444924
Command him to build an evil citadel where I might rule the world from.

>>8444924
Obtain party member

>>8444924
Begin seduction and stab in back... but don't think about it

>>8444934
>>8444934
this

THE ILLITHID HAS JOINED YOUR PARTY!

ENTER NAME
>_

>>8444934

YES

WE SHALL CALL HIM JULES, DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE ALREADY PROBABLY HAS A NAME

>>8444924
trade our "?" for his "!"

>>8445026
Squigy

>>8445026
Tentacles

>>8445026
Yo's ke'th

JULES IT IS

HE ASKS YOU YOUR NAME

>>8445063
SPARTACUS

>>8445063
now smash brain case

then ask what it was

>>8445026
Chester P. Squigglebottom

Enter your name.

>_

>>8445063
The Evil Cockgobbler

>>8445083
mike D mikington

>>8445074

NO, I AM SPARTACUS

YOU ARE NATHAN

>>8445083
September friday

>>8445083
and

name yourself and

or that

or you're gay

>>8445091

Nathan it is.

Nathan McRatt

Ironcock McPunchbeard

>>8445130

Nathan McSpartacus.

>>8445083
we are a suave motherfucker

That name fits!

NATHAN and JULES embark on their adventure!

>>8445151
obtain brain as pokemon ripoff pet

JULES is now in your party.

At any time, you can press select to switch over to him.

>>8445151

GODDAMMIT, I WAS ABOUT TO SAY "H.P.LOVEC" BECAUSE THAT'S ALL THAT WOULD FIT

>>8445171
press select

>>8445171
*press select*
consume brain in tank

press select

consume nathan's brain

>>8445185
You are now JULES.

JULES does not have an inventory, but instead a Psy-meter that tells the current potency of his psionic attack that depletes as he uses it.

>>8445242
mana regen

>>8445254
You cannot just regain Psychic energy, rather you can gain some by reading thoughts, more by eating thoughts dealing melee psionic damage to the target, and refill it completely by eating the brain.

A good time to test this, and tip your morality scale, would be now, as the elder brain seems to have a thought he wishes for you to read.

>>8445275
Read the thoughts.

>>8445275

Well, let's get busy reading his thoughts.

>>8445275
Eat brain

>>8445275
>>8445275
Eat the brain!

>>8445275
omnomnom

>>8445275

Read thought, then eat brain.

It's not like the Elder Brain is smart enough to try to blow your mind with a trap-thought... right?

>>8445275
Hollow the brain out and wear it as a helmet!

>>8445292
>>8445293

"You have made an ally of a human, I only hope you have chosen wisely.

Our culture, despite being a paranoid hierarchy depending on each other, is also one of selfishness and greed.

Due to this, I will not reprimand you, or have you otherwise punished, I only hope you later share the information learned from this human with the rest of us. There may be various rewards involved, gifts for your... false betrayal.

Explore the world above JULES, ours was never fit to contain you in the first place..."

>>8445322
read Nathans mind and then report to elder brain.

>>8445322
eat brain

>>8445322

I was a little worried the brain just wanted to tell us that his tank needed to be cleaned.

>>8445322
Boil the water in the tank.
We don't want worms from that brain now, do we?

You eat the elder brain.

Your human morality remains neutral.

Your illithid morality tilts towards INDIVIDUALIST.

Your psychic meter fills up.

More information on your morality, artifacts, and progress can be found in the start menu.

>>8445401
never click the start menu

>>8445401
delicious brain, warp to surface, proceed northwest

Read NATHAN's thoughts

As NATHAN: Try to read JULES thoughts.

You initiate a mindlink between the party.

Your morality bars determine the dialogue.

NATHAN
>Recommended course of action? Pretty much anything's alright with me.

JULES
>We could head up and find a town to pillage, or at the very least convince into giving us some... resources.

>>8445509
pillage, but bitches are for JULES

>>8445509
NATHAN can have the hoes and money, after he succsessfully rescues 3 cats from trees surroubding the village to offset loss of morality

>>8445509
NATHAN suggests they team up and fight crime. Not like superheroes, but more like Pulp Fiction.

>>8445528
Pillage a village of vile evil men, and rescue a DAMSEL in distress, who just so happens to be in possession of the KEY to the JUCIEST BRAIN OF ALL ETERNITY

You begin to head for the surface, you see two illithids guarding the exit.

Should you approach, they would likely be aware of your treachery.

In order to make things easier for the player JULES psychically changes his cloak.

Hit self with mace

>>8445626
press SELECT

>>8445626
RIP AND TEAR

You switch to NATHAN.

He is still wearing the mask.

>>8445705
walk past nonchalantly

>>8445715
FUCK THAT

STRUT past, like a fuckin boss, those Illithids will be so intimidated by your aura of boss, they will pretend to look busy and ignore you until you pass by up the stairs.

>>8445705

Sing to Inspire Terror.

>>8445705
Dance towards them in a threatening manner while disguised as Cyclops.

BLUFF ILLITHIDS

(LIKE A BOSS)

You are now on the map screen.

To the north is the starting position.

To the northeast is the village of Hometon.

Any further is yet to be explored.

CHOOSE THY DESTINATION
>_

>>8445778
fuck yes, thats what i'm talkin about, LIKE A BOSS, ask JULES how he likes dem apples...after NATHAN exits the facility

>>8445813
go to hometon I guess. do it LIKE A BOSS if possible.

>>8445813
go northsouth, get CONFUSED, attempt to go northeast, enter hidden zone

>>8445813
Go to hometon and aquire SUPPLIES

You enter Hometon.

There appear to be about twenty buildings, with only about three of them having doors.

There also appear to be only around six or seven actual residents.

Some kind of wizard stands near the border of town.

>>8445911
Switch to JULES. Read his mind.

Possibly kill him.

>>8445911
press SELECT

communicate with WIZARD

if WIZARD is unfriendly, eat WIZARD BRAIN

>>8445937
>>8445956

>Oh god, I hope nobody finds out I'm not a real wizard...

He doesn't seem to have seen you yet, as you're over at the edge of the screen.

>>8445979
Switch to NATHAN.
Mention to him that we know his secret.
This will be perfect for blackmail.

>>8445979
press SELECT

STRUT to WIZARD LIKE A BOSS
ask where BITCHES and MONEY are, and TPS REPORTS

>>8445979
Strut up to him LIKE A BOSS and slap him across the face (as NATHAN)

Demand he give you his hat.

>>8445999
He is ALARMED that some random cyclops managed to find out his secret!

He explains that he is actually a wise technocrafter, and can make many mechanical wonders. This is why everyone thinks he is a wizard.

He wants to know what he can do for you in order to keep his secret.

>>8446068
Ask him to join your party!

>>8446068
>>8446074
add to PARTY

Fake wizard has joined your party!

ENTER NAME

>_

Steve

>>8446107

Wallace!

>>8446107
We shall call him,
APHONEY

STEVE it is!

batman symbol

>>8446143
press SELECT select STEVE, press START view STEVE's MORALITY, see how much money he stole and villany he reeked by preying on these poor villagers who were falsely led to believe he was a wizard when in truth he posed as a false idol dominating the populace of this small but hard working, and meagerly surviving village.

>>8446143
STEVE? Really? The next post had a better name...WALLACE!

JULES should MIND CONTROL STEVE and make him think his name is actually WALLACE.

>>8446192
Every character has their own sense of morality.

NATHAN's is a balance between Good and Evil, currently positioned somewhere in the middle.

JULES' is a network between Moralistic, Individualistic, and Traditionalistic. It is currently positioned closer to individualistic than any other.

STEVE's is a balance between chaotic and lawful, which determine the type of devices he can build. It is currently positioned towards lawful.

In the middle is the list of currently gathered artifacts, you currently have 0.

In the lower right corner is the current percentage cleared.

STEVE has three devices, using one uses up a charge of one, and they reload as long as he is not the active party member. The rate of reload is determined by his morality.

The first are bombs, fueled by chaos.
The second are one-shot guns, fueled by law
The third are androids.

The android acts as a combination decoy/hint system. No matter what, they come along at the lowest rate.

>>8446349
go in house

STEVES GOT A BOOOMSTICK

You go into STEVE's house.

Inside, you find a technocrafting forge, as well as an android STEVE always keeps on, and keeps in his home.

>>8446422
take the android, whats the forge do? forge stuff if possible. leave then go to another resident or open house

>>8446422
Find basement and inevitablw secret passage to monsters

hmm there aren't many people on /tg/ at :29 4chan time

>>8446483
err i mean 3 am

>>8446483
I'm lurking and sort-of posting in like 20 threads on 4chan right now. This thread is one of the more interesting ones atleast, but its 3 in the morning so Im a little sleepy.

>>8446471
You pick up the android, despite knowing how to use the forge, walking STEVE over to it and pressing A does nothing.

It must only be a piece of scenery.

>>8446509
Explore village, find quest

You search Hometon, and find brainless villagers discussing stupid bullshit, houses with nothing in them, and all sorts of useless crap.

Near the Eastern border stands a wise looking man and a spooky sign.

>>8446578
Read wise old man, ask sign for a quest.

>>8446578
SELECT NATHAN, speak with sign, look at wise old man

>>8446578
hit select to switch to jules and read old man's mind while pretending to read the sign

>>8446629
You read a man and ask a sign.

>Rumor has it that the mage in the forest has some kind of magical sword in there, but I know I'm not going in there.

The sign is less co-operative, offering no information short of the text written on it.

>THE FOREST OF JIO: BEWARE! A REAL BITCH OF A MAGE LURKS WITHIN!

>>8446679
Enter the forest.

>>8446692
In the forest you see what you assume are trees.

In your path lies a suspicious layer of... leaves?

Fucking game boy graphics.

>>8446679
SELECT NATHAN, piss on SIGN LIKE A BOSS, SIGN bes not be disrespectin the boss's crew in the future, and had bes be cooperatin

>>8446743
Examine the "leaves".

>>8446743
SELECT Nathan, BLOW away the leaves.

>>8446743
SELECT STEVE, use ANDROID on LEAVES

>>8446743
attempt to read the mind of whatever may be hiding under the pile of leaves. regardless of result switch to nathan and elbow drop the leaves LIKE A BOSS

Locate BITCH OF A MAGE.
Make her your WAIFU.

>>8446743
Those leaves have got to be a pit trap

>>8446801
This can only end badly.

>>8446829
Pff.
Morrigan is awesome tier.

>>8446774
The leaves punch you in the face.

You take 1 damage.

An elf in a low-cut robe stands to the right.

>>8446884
Use FIRE on leaves, then use BITCHSLAP on elf.

>>8446884
read elf's mind

>>8446884

Strike HEROIC POSE.

Use psychic prowess to STUN, and pretend that the STUNNING was from the HEROIC POSE.

>>8446743
Jump up in down on leaves will hitting myself in the head hard as I can.

>>8446884
Attempt sexual intercourse with elf.

>>8446884
Read the leaves mind(s?).

>>8446900
>>8446905

You read her mind.

>They're either a scouting party for those cyclopes, or some morons tricked into coming in here by that jackass alchemist, either way an illithid is not what I want to allow in here.

You strike a heroic pose, and ZAPZAPKAPOW

Her leaf-golem... thing falls apart in her momentary confusion.

>>8446963
Talk with elf.

>>8446983
Hmm.. Make that whilst simultaneously reading her mind...

>>8446963
switch to nathan, and speak to the elf

>>8446963
Use DIPLOMACY

Also, since it will likely help, remove Cyclops Mask to prove HUMANITY

>>8447000
Yes. That's a good.. Anon from above two posts agrees.
That would be dumb to speak to her as the illithid. My bad.

Switch to NATHAN, read mind whilst talking to her.

>>8447034
...And take the mask off.

>>8446983
>>8446998
You try to be diplomatic while reading her mind.

She doesn't trust you, particularly due to your INDIVIDUALISTIC morals, contrasting with her TRADITIONLAISTIC morals.

Also, you're an illithid.

However, she seems less willing to attack you until she can size up why you're trying diplomacy instead of just killing her.

>>8447062
do this>>8447000
and>>8447020

>>8447062
Switch to STEVE and talk.

>>8447084

You try using your neutrality to make a better case.

She wants to know why you're in her forest.

>>8447062
Maybe we should switch to that guy with the machines. After all, his LAWFUL alighnment should be compatable with her TRADITIONALISTIC alighnment.

>>8447116
Ask her if she knows about a magic sword.

>>8447116
Ask her name.

>>8447116
NATHAN: Use MANLY charm to woo her.

STEVE: Check internet to see if I spelled woo correctly.

>>8447116

"An alchemist sent me this way. He said there was a sword. I got lost while appreciating the nature, then my associate got uppercutted by a pile of leaves. So, uh. Should you be out here? It doesn't seem in your breast intests--

"UH. BEST INTERESTS TO BE ALONE."

>>8447192

"That is... you learned about that from that alchemist in Hometon didn't you? It's a RUMOR. RUMOR. Not always true! Figured I'd emphasize that, just because some old guy heard about some magical thing, in some magical place, that doesn't make it so. You know what old people get? Alzheimer's. There is no magic sword. Who keeps a sword in a forest with a geomancer? Why would a geomancer need a sword? The whole thing doesn't make any sense at all."

>>8447116
Rape her. Then ask her to marry me.

>>8447227
Read mind to see if she's lying.

>>8447227
Proof elf wrong, get sword, kill elf.

>>8447227

"Oh. Are you sure? The alchemist seemed really sure that it was tits way.

"*THIS* WAY. HE SAID IT WAS THIS WAY."

>>8447227
USE: INTERROGATE: BITCHSLAP

>>8447227
AHAH elf fell for the trap, we never mentioned any Geomancer.

select, switch to fakewizard, use diplomacy to recruit to party.

>>8447227
Obviously for cutting his lawn.
Thats why he'd have a magic sword. Gets the job done in a jiffy.

Flog myself till I'm fully pleasured and walk out the door whistling.

>>8447275
Naw, three is enough party members. Having too many will just make things confusing.

Also, dat bitch be lying. Tell her to get back in the kitchen.

>>8447227
Kill her, let her, then rape her corpse.

>>8447308
>Kill her, loot her, then rape her corpse.

fix'd.

>>8447275
STEVE's LAWFUL alignment works well with her TRADITIONALISTIC alignment.

She agrees to join your party!

>>8447254

Alternatively:

"That's odd. My busty lie-detector doesn't usually fail me like that.

"TRUSTY. I MEANT TRUSTY"

>>8447305
getbackinthekitchen.jpg

>>8447330
Ask her name.. or go to the enter name screen.. or something.

Just look at the way she handles that wood.

ENTER NAME
>_

>>8447378
BOOBS

>>8447378

MELONS

>>8447378
pixeltits

>>8447388
Ha HA! I got in first! I win!

>>8447378

TIIIIITS

It fits.

>>8447378
JAKEY

>>8447388
BOOBS it is!

goddamn it /tg/

>>8447378

Backpain.

Exactly eight letters! DOO EET

>>8447411
lol

>>8447411
Switch to BOOBS. Masturbate.

>>8447411
/tg/ is bad at dealing with gurls.. you should have expected it.

even the ladies of /tg/ are bad at dealing with 'em.

>>8447411
Should've claimed it was a guy. Though that would probably matter little.

search for the sword even if boobs says their isnt one. every one knows wimen are dumb

>>8447411
Okay so...we better continue the quest before BOOBS becomes the main subject

>>8447411
Look around to see if there's anything else of interest.
Possibly leave forest.

>>8447411
Press start.

And so, the party was formed, with the intention of saving the land... from... whatever.

They set out East of the forest of Jio, to seek out crystals or artifacts or some shit.

NATHAN, the brave adventurer, leader, and capable of managing ridiculous tradequests.

JULES, the rogue illithid, psychic companion who reads and eats minds.

STEVE, the timid technocrafter, able to manufacture a wide variety of contraptions and traps to assist the team.

and BOOBS, the outgoing geomancer, able to shape nature to her whims, and desperate to make her womanly nature more blatant in contrast to her naturally feminine elf nature.

that description should make you all happy right?

So the adventure was put on hold, as the thread was auto-saging, and you already wrote down the password.

GAME BOY QUEST - PROLOGUE COMPLETE

you can slow down now

>>8447524
Thanks for running OP. See you next time.

>>8447524
:(

>>8447411
>>8447411
I WIN I DON'T LOSE I WIN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

>>8447524
TURN OFF GAME BOY
REMOVE CARTRIDGE
PUT IN POKEMON CARTRIDGE INSTEAD
FUCK YEA