I got swallowed by a hydra. I made that fucker throw me up.

was playing dark heresy and suddenly this town where in gets attacked out of fucking no where durring this religious ceremony. so me and my party run out side and im the party's psyker
across the way from us is 12 guys 11 of them with pump shot guns and the guy in the middle behind three guys is carrying a large live bomb. shit got real. so i cast this power that makes people spasim uncontrolably dont remember what it is he rolled a 1 to resist dropped the bomb killing every last one of his friends.gm just looked at me shock. Got punched in the knee cap by a demon later in that same session nearly killed me i think he jsut wanted to off me

Through clever thinking we manage to get a some Chaos Space Marines killed by friendlies with heavy weapons, by luring it near a midlevel glass atrium in a giant skyscraper.

As the friendly fire begins to blast more and more chunks of the atrium, the Sister of Battle screams why the fuck they aren't stopping with the bombardment. Assassin takes a look, while staying clear of shrapnel and incinerated rocket fuel...

...he finds a Baneblade-sized Defiler looking back.

The entire party shit-just-got-real-faced.
As if some Iron Warriors weren't enough.

Seriously.

A wizard was hiding from a dragon behind a giant pile of feces he'd created using an illusion spell, but knowing the dragon could see through it hethen accidentally wished for better cover whilst wearing a ring of wishes.

Shit just got real.

>>8248781

Upon one of the PCs suddenly stealing an artifact from the party required to kill an avatar of Lolth, in the last session of the campaign, while we were just outside the temple.

He thought that he could trade it to the avatar for power. Our remainders that he wasn't a Drow and that she was a Chaotic Evil bitch should would almost certainly kill him as soon as he handed it over fell on deaf ears.

Needless to say, shit got real and fast.

Inquisitorial retinue commandeer an civilian vessel to quickly get their asses off an-to-be-exterminated-world.

Quick look around. Civilian ship is FILLED with Genestealer mutants.

>by_the_emperor's_ass,_shit_just_got_real.jpg

I shot a fully armored dwarf from a cannon

>>8248909
I lol'ed.

>>8248912
If this is Ron, Gil or Chris, you must fucking respond.

Playing against an IG player, who had three Chimera on the field, and just bare bones infantry on the field as well.

All of hte sudden he unloaded infantry from the Chimera...right on top of the objective.

I think it was....8 infantry squads they had deployed, just...shit got real, I couldn't handle it. I wasn't ready for that much infantry.

>>8248943

Find a different ship. Seriously.

>>8248952

Oh god. Who is this?

>>8248975
It's Will.

>>8248781
Several times:
-When I found out the chirpy orphan girl I'd adopted had been kidnapped and tortured into a Catonic state by the BBEG
-When the only, coporeal, person who had ever been kind to me got hurt and ended up in a coma after an attack by some minion types.
-When the demon that I had shared a body with since I was 6 months old and that was, apart from the Maid, who had ever been nice to me and had been like a mother figure to me got really badly hurt and we had to do a 'go to the 6 ritual circles and do the ritual to bring her back' thing to get her back. My character had a nervous breakdown and ended up sobbing himself to sleep for a month every night until we got her back, had panic attacks when left alone and generally became a wreck, it was like having a spiritual siamese twin, growing up with them, then having them removed by getting pulled apart in a tug of war. Of course someone tried to get there before us and when we met them at the last site my character, age 14, went into a Bezerker fury and killed one of the most powerful warriors in the land through sheer luck and a knife to the guts. Shit was awesome.

>>8248975
Remember when we trapped that other party member in a bottle just so we could fuck with the fairy? That shit was so cash.

>>8248909
Nicely done.

My group managed to raid a drow camp for food (with 5th level or so guards, judging by the fireballs the wizard was tossing at us) despite being 4th level with no full casters (the closest thing to casting we had was a bard). All of us went under 0 at least once during the session. Somehow, none of us died, and we got what we came for.

After the session, the DM tells us that he was basically trying to kill at least one of us off without just doing it by fiat, because what we were doing was so fucking stupid and risky. We survived despite that.

Shit just got real.

>>8248962
Well, we commandeered it by launching our APC into the closing baydoors.

Hollywood style.

It ended with a frantic one-minute shootout, which we (Emperor be praised) won luckily.
We did have a heavy stubber on that APC we drove inside.

After that minute, we got in orbit, with a hull with 5 breaches.

Needless to say, we had rebreathers, and the Genestealers didn't.

Still, we lost our scum (lol renegade) Shepard style.

We were exploring some mine used as a temple by Chaos cult. We're on our way to the main chamber when a magical trap explodes. My character was in the front so he gets most of it. He survives unharmed (mostly) - but the GM decides that his leather jacket is completely wasted. HIS TROPHY WHITE BASILISK LEATHER JACKET.

>>8249037
FUCKING CHAOS!

>>8249037

>HIS TROPHY WHITE BASILISK LEATHER JACKET.

My god.

>>8249037

Did... did you get to say goodbye?

>>8249037
Tell your DM that the jacket is so awesome that it becomes a new Character all on its own.

When the Summoner interrupted his ow summoning speech, rushed forward, shiv'd the healer with Paralytic poison, Teleported away, then summons slowly started pouring in through a hole in the roof, chipping away at our HP ...

So we've taken over this small (200 meter) ship belonging to a rival Inquisitor. We've gotten the crew on our side, but the rival Inquisitor's Interrogator has a personal teleporter and is running loose on the ship.

One of the crew looks up from an instrument panel, face white. "Sir... the Interrogator has initiated Option Omega."

"What in the God-Emperor's name is Option Omega?"

"That's the one where he goes to the secure stasis bay and releases the Eversor."

>>8249183

When the DM tricked my character into killing his own sister.

I was already on a revenge quest. But that...that was when my character truly snapped. I don't even know what to do with him now that the villain is dead.

>>8249183
Man, a survivor? I bet he was in orbit or something.

In stasis.

Hidden.

>>8249256

Or he bribed the Eversor with cocaine.

Or the Eversor decided to be a colossal dick and leave one guy alive.

>>8249026
genetsealers don't breathe though, they can live in the vacuum of space

In the Dark Heresy game I'm in the key witness we were looking for turned out to be a Psyker and the Holy Ordos was trying to put her on a black ship. While a colleague distracted the Ordos guys I jumped out a window with her. Now we're on the run and up against a dangerous Heretek cult. Shit's real.

>>8249303
But the vacuum most likely sucked them out

>>8249303
But hybrids? I mean, I know true 100% 'stealers can live in space, but once they're bred out enough to pass for "human-like", don't they need to breathe?

>>8249303
good thing the GM didn't know that

>>8249336
SUP DRUS

ENJOY YOUR CYBER-MASTIFFS, PLURAL

SHIT JUST GOT REAL

Shit gets real stage 1: A train rolls into town in the dead of night and disgorges 300 hungry nosferatu.

Shit gets real stage 2: We blow up the train's engine. Flaming ghostrock begins raining on the town as we battle vampires in the streets.

>>8249430

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

>>8249523
Shit deserves a guitar solo and some lightening.

I'd have to say...
Okay, so I'm one of the parties main damage dealers (a ranger barbarian), and the other one is a Half-Orc barbarian fighter, everyone else is a bard, cleric, and wizard. So we were in this ancient Pirate Tomb Cave thing about to fight the BBEG over some super powerful treasure. So I go in first, charge at the dude and totally decapitate one of the dude's minions. Then the BBEG mind controls me. And I'm rignt next to the other tank, who left the healer and wizard and bard undefended.

Shit got real. Shit got very real.

>>8249523

>>8249523

FUCK YEAH DEADLANDS

>>8249523

The rain of ghostrock mutates everyone in the town, giving them a randomly selected Harrowed ability.

>>8249691
And then the DM reaches under the table and pulls out "Mutants and Masterminds".

>>8249664
>>8249670

Yeah, I was riding through the fiery rain with a fair senorita thrown over my saddle, decapitating nosferatu with a cavalry saber. Good times.

>>8249722

"... I will do the thinking for both of us."

>>8249722

Whoa whoa whoa

Are you Jorge de la Mancha hurr de whatever? The spanish guy with the ludicrously long name who stole the show in some guy's Deadlands game and kidnapped the woman BBEG and told her (eloquently) to go back to the kitchen?

>>8249722
An old cowboy went riding out one dark and windy day
Upon a ridge he rested as he went along his way
When all at once a mighty herd of red eyed cows he saw
A-plowing through the ragged sky and up the cloudy draw

Their brands were still on fire and their hooves were made of steel
Their horns were black and shiny and their hot breath he could feel
A bolt of fear went through him as they thundered through the sky
For he saw the Riders coming hard and he heard their mournful cry

Yippie yi Ohhhhh
Yippie yi yaaaaay
Ghost Riders in the sky

>>8248781
In our Exalted campaign, my players had that reaction as soon as I said "Zombiesaurus Rex."

>>8249747
>>8249753

It is I.

Don Jorge Antíno Martín Velasco-Cabrales.

>>8249769
that just gave me chills

wtf

Shit got real when my character got Eisenhorned (every friend/familymember/contact/hideout destroyed/attacked simultaneously) by a noble latent psyker who had (somehow) managed to escape his =I= approved prison.

>>8249783

Why the hell didn't you mention Vampire Ghost Rock Apocalypse earlier?

>>8249793
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mynzbmrtp9I

Johnny Cash does that to people.

>>8249793

Peyote's a hell of a drug.

I played a Cleric who was a high-ranking official in the army. When his kingdom was attacked by the BBEG and his horde, he fought valiantly to defend the queen, but was defeated. He was forced to watch as the BBEG himself killed the queen right in front of him. Shit got real.

WoD game I'm in. We find a corrupted tree in the Penumbra, dangerously close to our hideout, and it's pumped full of Wyrm-tainted gnosis. We're all mortals. Not even hunters, really, just mortal men who know a little about what's going on behind the scenes.

We decide to take this tree out before it can corrupt any more of the spirits in the area (They've been going nuts lately). So, my character (crotchety old man, 87 years old and still a gunslinger with an 1887 Colt Peacemaker) and his sometimes-rival (the military sharpshooter), take aim on the tree with our silver bullet-laden guns. Out steps a supernaturally beautiful woman and a Black Spiral Dancer. Shit got real.

We immediately retreat to the hideout and I assemble a pair pipebombs, both loaded with a mixture silver shrapnel and liquid silver nitrate. I intend to detonate both of them at the base of the tree in the penumbra. Storyteller was stunned.

>>8249941
I think Shit got Real when the BBEG decided to ripandtear the Cleric's fiefs brah.

Our group is a troupe of performers in a small town, when it is suddenly besieged by zombies. We go out onto the street and taking down minions as they come our way, when zombies start coming out of the inn where all of the civilians were hiding. One of the civilians was a necromancer.

Shit got real. And we ran for our lives.

>>8249966
He was based off /tg/'s commissar, so he regarded the queen as a living goddess. Albeit mortal, but divine nonetheless. He was quite fanatical about her well being, and when she was murdered, he went a little batshit.

>>8250039
>/tg/'s commissar
Which one? I assume Fuklaw, but...

>>8250059
Yep.

Playing DH. My guardsman is leading a rearguard action with two other members of our team, assassin and techpriest. We start pulling back, and then one of the Khornate cultists gets in a lucky shot and the assassin goes down, halfway out between us and them. Shit got real. I rushed out there, grabbed her in a fireman's carry and took ten wounds carrying her out.

In a previous adventure, we detoured from our mission to answer a distress beacon; it was on the bow-half of an Emperor-class Battleships that had somehow crashed on the planet, several hundred years back.

While rescuing a group that turned out to be one of the local system nobles, and entourage, we 'help' them loot part of an officer's deck. As I found a multi-key earlier, and from the description, the GM has fiated that I can use the security skill to some degree, despite being a guardsman. So I find a chest tucked into a locked room, open it up on my first try, and then roll a one on a [I was a bit unclear on this] search check. I find an elderly chainsword, and two Navis Primae.

To elaborate, a Navis Primae is a map of warp-routes, showing how to get from here to there safely and quickly, despite it being, you know, the warp. They are valued in the dozens of Imperials. (which, I'm told, are ten-thousand throne denominations.)

>>8249808

I'm sure I mentioned it, after the bit about kidnapping the witch and telling her "Hush now, my dove. You have a man with you now, and I will do the thinking for both of us," and before the bit about my duel with the Moonwaltz Kid.

Wait, I didn't mention the Moonwaltz Kid, did I?

Right. The Moonwaltz Kid was a gunfighter, a duelist. Had a bit of a reputation, dozen notches on each gun barrel, and so forth. Infatuated with the witch I mentioned previously (due to her literal charms; she was using him as muscle.)

The first evening Don Antino saw the witch, she was in the town tavern surrounded by her admirers, the Kid first among them. The mayor, the sheriff, the banker, all falling over themselves to please her. She sees the Don getting a sip of tequila and hits him with the come-hither stare. Roll to resist: all ones, he's obsessed with her. She thinks he's the kind of man who will obey his woman's every whim. She is incorrect.

>>8250259

As if it wasn't real enough for me to be walking around with an old footlocker with four hundred thousand credits in it, I 'forget' to mention this to my inquisitor, and proceed to put in some astropath calls, and try to connect with a black-sheep family member who can help me unload this, with a significant benefiet to myself, him, and the House coffers. (My noble-born backstory suggests that my family is not as wealthy and well off as it used to be.)

I show up in a nobility-only club on a hive world later, in full armor and with my weapons in my backpack, (but of course with an immaculate uniform, and my fancy armor), to meet my cousin, and potential buyers. (as it happens, my cousin, three local nobles, and three local nobles' bodyguards.)

They proceed to pull hell pistols on me, and, in the case of the bodyguards, shotguns, on me. They evidently believe that they can take the Navis Primae from my luggage, either before or after killing my dumb ass for a bounty on my head, courtesy of yet another noble house. (I don't make too many friends, it seems.)

I'm standing in a private room of an upscale club for the nobility, with nobody who knows where I am (I'd been trying to keep it from my fellow party member so I wouldn't have to split the profits), and seven hostiles. (My coz had thrown in with them.)

This is when shit really got real.

>>8250274

The Don approaches, shoulders the Kid out of the way, and instructs the witch to come away with him. The Kid taps the Don on the shoulder. The Don hands him his empty glass and tells him to fetch two more. The Kid throws the glass to the floor and demands a duel. The Don grins and suggests dawn.

The next morning, the Kid is standing in the street, fingers twitching above the butts of his silver-plated Colts. The Don rides up armed only with a sword, and dismounts ten paces away.

The DM gives me a "are you fucking serious" look. We're using the gun duel rules; no buying off wounds. This guy's got crazy fucking initiative. He'll blow me away. I grin and tell him all will be well.

Antino reaches for his blade. The Moonwaltz kid goes for his iron.

Initiative rolls. Antino rolls 10, for two actions. The Kid goes bust on the roll; all ones, no actions, chance in a thousand.

Antino charges and does a called shot to the eyes, rolls magnificently. Did enough damage to kill him, but I reminded the DM that I'd taken a large penalty to specifically attack the eyes. The Kid loses a notch out of the bridge of his nose and is permanantly blinded as his peepers get sliced open.

The Kid falls to his knees, screaming. He draws his guns and fires wildly as the Don saunters back to his horse.

Party member: "Why'd you leave him alive? He's ruined. It'd be a mercy to kill him."
Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales: "No no no. I did not wish to kill this man. I wished to destroy him, as a rival and a person."

The DM later told me that the Moonwaltz Kid was supposed to be a valuable ally, once we freed him from the witch's control. Instead he wound up selling his soul to replace his eyes with those of a hellbound ghost for the sole purpose of tracking me down and taking revenge.

You can imagine how that went for him.

Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales is the luckiest character I've ever played. The dice, they swoon for him.

>>8250285
You sir are a mans man.

>>8250360
If I were dice I'd probably swoon for him too.

>>8250360
I think I love you.

>>8250360
I am currently swooning

Was swallowed by a gigantic purple worm. Wildshaped into a massive creature, forgot which one, and then tore shit up. When it dimension-doored out of the combat with the rest of my party, I dimension-doored out of its gullet, slicing it in half.

>>8250276 here.
I thought I had a decent one.

I bow before you, humbled by your awesome, >>8250360 .

>>8250360

>>8250360
Holy freakin' shit.
Ghostbusters tangentially related.

Going up against a revanant, our tanky fighter/rogue was nearly killed. Like, one more round of combat, and he would have been rolling up a new character.

>>8250360
>>8250285
>>8250274
>>8249523
Someone save this text. This story must be preserved

>>8250285
>The DM gives me a "are you fucking serious" look. We're using the gun duel rules; no buying off wounds. This guy's got crazy fucking initiative. He'll blow me away. I grin and tell him all will be well.

Did.. did you have a PLAN? A trick up your sleeve.. SOMETHING? Or did you literally just walk into this encounter with nothing but a grin and balls of brass?

>>8250274
You started that thread by mentioning that you'd survived the Night Train in epic fashion.

I don't think you'd mentioned that you actually blew the damn thing up as it pulled into town and then fought the vampires there, as opposed to fighting them on the Train itself.

>>8250577
On that note, a similar moment for me was when, while spider-climbing in a cave over a lake to scout, a dire crocodile jumped out of the water, latched onto my character, did like 3/4 of my health in damage and dropped me into the lake.

Pretty much everyone in my party was doing this face.

We were playing a 3.5 game in ravenloft. the party cosisted of a barbarian with the hilt to a sun sword but not the blade, an old wizard who only used fireball, a mystic thyerge halfling who was too curious for his own good, and a shadow caster. we entered straud's castle to hunt him down and kill him. we had had a few encounters with ghosts befor where if we talked to them instead of attacking the encounter went a lot better. well we come across a book that describes Straud's history and tells of his brother the palidin ( who had possesion of the sun blade befor Straud killed him and broke the sword).

We venture into the catacombs to find a large stone casket with the other half ot the sunblade sitting on top of it and a figure leaning over it sobbing. All of us prepare to begin the fight as our barbarian steps confidantly forward (we thought to retrieve the blade) and puts his hand on Straud and says " Hey buddy, why you crying?"

Shit got real...

>>8250641

Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales is his own plan.

>>8250276

Soo, what happened afterwards?

>>8250686

this is beautiful

>>8250641

Plan? PLAN? Lesser men plan, while Antino DOES!

Seriously, the character practically played himself. I was just along for the ride. I cannot overemphasize the role of luck in this nonsense, as well.

For instance, I wound up having to be out of town for a month, not making it to the game. When I come back, I tell the DM but not the players. He keeps me in a separate room, fills me in on what's happened; Antino left the party, spent some time with a woman, etc, for various reasons winds up in this big cattle town.

DM goes to the other room and runs the game for a while.

Comes back to tell me as I'm riding into town just before midnight, I hear a woman scream from the next street over. So, naturally, I climb from my horse onto the rooftop and hasten to her aid.

DM takes me into the room with everyone. We're in combat rounds, it's my action. The party are fighting something human-shaped that moves like a tiger; it's fast, too strong, and for three rounds it's been tearing the hell out of them. Nothing they've done slows it down; headshots, gutshots, stabbing, nothing. The scream was our chinese mad scientist getting her leg ripped open.

DM:"Suddenly, on the rooftop above you, you see a familiar figure standing in the moonlight."

"It is I, Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales!"

I pose, draw my sword, leap down, and do a called shot to decapitate the thing. Lucky rolls, I take it's head off in one stroke.

Turns out decapitation was it's only vulnerability. I had no clue. Just seemed the appropriate thing to to.

>>8250882

*diceswoon*

>>8248781
GURPS game
hombre setting en space
some space caballero orcs come riding up in their rocket ship to our star train, and attempt to highjack it
Our slinger blasts and pistol whips 42 space caballero orcs, before his cigar runs out...then he pulled out his second gun.

>>8250882
1% luck 99% FUCKING STYLE

We we're on a mission to get the Sacred Orb of the Waters of Life to create a sacred pound so we could cleanse this shenaningan taint that had fucked up our world (this was our fault actually, but on a different adventure with different characters).
Anyway, we were fighting our way trough this goblinoid underground complex, killing every kind of goblinoid shit that come into our way, no questions asked: it was a red assault, if it don't look human, elf or dwarf (our party races) it would go down. Hard.
So we are climbing this stone wall to leave the underground. Even during the climb we continued to fight all those creeps jumping over us in a blaze of goblinoid fury. We finnaly reach the surface, the cleric healed us (Cleric of St. Cutberth - Lawful Neutral, God of Retribution). And then we entered this village. Where we got ambushed by those renegade guys we had heard of that wanted the Orb for themselves.
So, the renegade group of adventurers were our old characters from another adventure we had played that died terribly from a curse/disease shit (that we accidentally released in first place... yeah we kindda fuck shit up really good).
So the shit got real, because those were our old chars, and we had made them fucking killing machines of terror and disgrace.
Damn... it was a bitch to kill them. Only one guy survived (the fighter), but he was poisoned... oh well he took the Orb and take it back to the caravan that brought us to this hellhole. he failed his last test from poison and die mid-way to complete the Orb quest. Oh wow we fucked it up. Again.

>>8250882
I have a man-crush on your character

>>8251022
are you sure your slinger isn't the Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales of the far future?

my in game brother accidentally broke a HUEG gem that was part of a super bullshit portal we were working for like... ages.

The gem name is "Dragon's Hearth"
Shit-just-got-real when i found that there was no escape until i accidentaly the whole plane

>>8251113
>Shit-just-got-real when i found that there was no escape until i accidentaly the whole plane
> until i accidentaly the whole plane
> i accidentaly the whole plane
> the whole plane
Yeah... I really hate when this kind of shit happens. And brotha... it keeps happening with us here.

>>8250882
[diceswoon]

In our Adeptus Evangelion game, the Berserker got air-dropped directly onto Ramiel (pic related). He doesn't have anywhere near enough AT strength to neutralize, so he's not going to be able to hurt it, and he's taking ego damage from trying. Then, when it finally hits him with it's huge laser beam, it takes his leg clean off. His synch ratio is climbing from all the ego damage and from the critical damage, so now he's taking even more ego damage. When the other Evas finally get there, their new mission is just to get him out of there so they can regroup and form a plan. Right as they're about to load him onto a truck, he runs out of power... and berserks (meaning his Eva is out of his control and is forced to attack the Angel). The whole group just goes silent for a few seconds, and then gives a collective "FUUUUUCK."

I was DMing, and even I was thinking "oh god, this is going to be a TPK," but they managed to pull through, due in no small part to the berserker's synch ratio capping out at 125%. He is officially crazy enough to hear the Eva talking to him thanks primarily to this battle.

Dark Heresy.

I was smart enough to have a pistol grip and laser sight on my Hunting Rifle for those "just in case" moments. Was playing an assassin, and somehow got my left arm blasted off by an unlucky hit. Stayed awake through the incredible pain, and called a one-handed shot to the foe's forehead.

BLAM.

Then I went unconscious and bled out next turn.

Gurps System.
So we reach this cave on the middle of the nowhere. There was a light coming down from the ceiling. A golden light. We approached the light and those iron giants attack us.
My friend say "fuck this shit. Put his light on the light."
DM: "Your hand turns into gold."
"Shit".
Giants are kicking our sorry asses here, since we didn't have blundgeoning weapons, that would easily hurt them. So my friend had this brilliant idea.
Friend: "I clench my other hand and put on the light."
DM: "Ok... now you have a clenched fist of gold."
Friend: "Good! Now I'll punch him hard. I got boxing, karate and a fist or iron, that since it's metal, give me +2 damage. And it's blundgeoning!"
Ow man... gurps is so cash. And karate and boxing we're soooooo broke on the old version.

>>8251185
>Wants to get into an Adeptus Evangelion game badly.

>>8251185synch ratio, ego damage, berserk, evangelion

what the fuck awesome game system is this

>>8251185
What are Ramiel's stats?

>>8251205
A Dark Heresy mod for Neon Genesis Evangelion. When I first heard of it I made up a character on the spot.

>>8251222
It's awesome.

>>8251205
/tg/ getting shit done.

>>8251205

>Adeptus Evangelion

It's based on Dark Heresy's system, if that's what you mean

>>8251200
Fuck... you wanna tell me gurps is broken? I tell you how gurps is broken.

This zomg motherfucker jumped from the nowhere and started to rip a new asshole out of us. He sliced and diced the majority of the party (we were ten people playing at once that day) in one fuckign move. Fuck, combat in gurps is really dense. So my friend's weapon of choice was a bloody whip. He didn't had quick draw (wich wouldn't proc with a whip anyway), so he out of scare punched the motherfucker's skull. He's brawl was really shitty. With penalties for hitting the head it was even more fucked up. He roll the dices (3d6 guys) and cored 4. Fucking 4. In gurps 3 or 4 on the dice is an automatic critical hit that always does maximum damage. Plus you roll 3 more dices and check this critical hits table. Crappy damage (he was weak as hell). So gm opens up the Critical Hit on the Head table (yeah there's one for the head only. fucking gurps!) Dude rolls the dice. Fucking 3. 3! Epic fucking motherfucking roll. We check the table: Instant death. Instant fucking death. He killed the biggest ultimate motherfucker that would kill every single one of us with minimal damage and got killed with a lucky sucker punch on the top of his head from a guy that couldn't move a big table without help. Fucking amazing!

>>8251320
> GURPS System
FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-

Here, when we play gurps, we play Gurps Discworld. Ha it's so funny. The Dwarven Croissant is an aerodinamyc throwing weapon.

>>8251320
HAVE YOU NOT SEEN FIST OF THE MOTHERFUCKIN NORTH STAR

PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE HEAD JUST RIGHT AND BAM, INSTADEAD
SCIENTIFIC F A C T

>>8251320


Entirely possible. You can be the biggest badass in the world, and slip on a sidewalk one day and bust your skull open.

>>8251409
I don't see anything particularly silly about that.

Silly would be if it also could be used as rations.

>>8251409
>>8251485
Dwarven Crossiant Aerodynamic Throwing Rations

>>8251478
or one day your heat could say "fuck this shit im taking a 10 minute break"

>>8251571
If my heat took a 10 minute break and I froze to death, I would consider that a pretty awesome way to die.

Where I can get the pdf for Adeptus Evangelion? I am intensely innerested.

Early in my first ever DnD campaign, we fought a giant fucking centipede as a boss. After killing it, it fell over into this spring of healing water we had drank from before the right. We let out sighs of relief when finding out it didn't actually revive the dead, but were pretty pissed off at our wizard who through a decaying hand into the fountain, spoiling it and causing it to raise the giant centipede as an undead for us to fight again.

>>8250882
Ahem:
<----
That is all.

It's not my story, but I'll try to tell it as best as I can.

Okay, so the guy's group is playing WoD. At one point in the campaign, they're on an island. The cop, along with the paramedic and the private detective go explore a temple that the businessman and the mysterious scientist went into earlier. At the entrance, the cop gets shot with a bunch of darts and shrugs it off. They go into the temple, and start going through the traps pretty easily. Eventually, the paramedic and the cop end up in a corridor filled with flamethrowers while the private detective runs through a corridor of swinging blades and reaches the other side safely.

She finds the businessman, who's all bloodied and kind of crazy. Nearby is an idol on a pedestal. She moves the idol, and a giant crazy ass spirit pops up, asking for the two to make a wish. The businessman screams that they want to get out of the temple. As a result, all 4 of them get teleported out a mile into the ocean, during the evening.

Things get dicey at that point, as the cop's blood attracts sharks. In fact, the cop is the first one to get mauled, but he miraculously survives. They fight off the sharks and start swimming, eventually making it to the shore. Once there, things get even worse. It turns out that the mysterious scientist was a trenchcoated hunter from Cheiron who wanted the idol. He showed up in a taxi, took cover behind it, and held the group up with a rifle at 50 feet. He told the group that they had until the count of ten to hand the idol over before he blew the cop's brains out.

>>8251699
This didn't turn out so well, as the cop shot at the scientist, somehow managing to wound him slightly. The businessman reveals that he's a Mage by blinding the scientist with shadows, causing him to fire blindly into the air. When that happened, the cop had enough and shot to kill, managing to plug the scientist in the head with his pistol despite his injuries and the distance between them. Suffice to say, the scientist was killed by this bullet.

DnD 3.5

I had the party fight a fiendish half-blue dragon t-rex once in a wizards lair. It swallowed the ranger/rogue half drow whole.

Everyone went WTF? (It was their first campaign, and they had no idea what Swallow Whole was). Then he cut his way out, since a creature is logically flat footed against you when you are inside where he thought he was safe.

Only to have it eat him AGAIN the next round.

>>8251216

Well, if you had Adeptus Evangelion, you could just look it up, so I have to explain this without using in-game terms...

First off, AT Fields work like a mana bar and a damage nullification chance, and they are linked to your synch ratio. Nullifying is basically 1-for-1, so you open yourself up to open them up. The average starting pilot has 50%, this berserker going into the fight had about 70%. Ramiel had 200%. Ramiel's laser has unlimited range, but will only shoot if an Eva gets within 1km or if something shoots at it (instead of Dodge, Ramiel's reaction is to shoot back). Ramiel's laser does 3d10 E Pen 12. He has BS 50. Luckily, he has comparably little health, but it does take a bunch of people (or one person who is doing the impossible and another to finish the job) to neutralize that AT field.

>>8251744
I take it the Dragon turned into Swiss Cheese?

>>8251699
And that's why you should always try to get both pendants before entering the Hidden Temple.

>>8251598
I believe this link still works:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=J02I3KQ5

Just to clarify: the game has nothing to do with 40k. It just uses the Dark Heresy system. It is, if you will, a total conversion mod.

Their IRC channel is #adeptusevangelion at irc.rizon.net, where you can talk to the guys that are making and testing it.

And there are a bunch of threads archived on suptg.

>>8251744
did the rogue just stay in there that time and start chopping the thing up from the inside?

>>8251855
I'd already google-fu'd it out, but thanks nonetheless. My internet at home sucks, and that's where I've been every time I've seen the d/l link for this.

>>8251855
It always says that all the servers are down when I join irc.rizon.

<IRC nub

>>8251867
fuck that he should just wait in there until the fights over, he already has a way out.

Dark Heresy, last session. The acolytes have been hunting down a bunch of artefacts to summon a Tzeentchian daemon of sector destroying power (the Bringer of the Eclipse), and the psyker is constantly tormented by prophecies being burnt into his flesh at plot-crucial points by the daemon's minion, a lesser daemon named the Herald.

He has now entered a pact with the Herald since becoming amnesiac (he now has a mouth on his hand which sucks peoples souls out, and gives him bonus skills for IPs/CPs) since the Herald knows he will be given the short end of the stick when the Bringer achieves his goal and is summoned by the BBEG, and has revealed that to the psyker in an attempt to collaborate.

Requesting moar Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales stories.

>>8252125
Last session, the acolytes visit an out-of-the-way abandoned cathedral on a planet which doesn't show up on any maps, and was only available to them becausde the Lord Sector Hax personally pulled some strings (this is an epic campaign, remember).

Anyway, when they get to the temple, they find it filled with a sect wearing tatty yellow robes, and a LOT of cogitator systems pumping out strange symbols and the like on massive parchment strips. The psyker goes off and devours the soul of one of the priests (helped by the fact our arbitrator/immoralis warden/mortiurge, played like 40k Rorshach, just punched him out after questioning him), and gains a massive insight into the sect, which I lead him off alone to tell.

The sect is called the Temple of the Nine Billion Names of the Emperor. They believe that the Emperor has *9 billion names*, of which he has revealed *8,999,999,999* of them using a strange and dead language they must decipher. When they achieve all of them at the right time (once every millenia, a particular arrangement in a *solar eclipse*), He will personally reveal Himself to them at the dawning of the sun and judge the Imperium.

The church knows the formula for constructing the Emperor's names, but it will take them forever to do it by hand. So the BBEG (Templar Calix officer, lots of connections, wants to hold the secotr to ransom with the threat of the daemon like a cold war standoff) has used his connections, one of them being our techpriest's Magos, to supply the church with a bunch of cogitators to numbercrunch the formulaefor them, so they can get all the names complete in time.

When the psyker learned this, along with 9 IPs and FL (Church of the 9Billion), his face was the epitome of 'shit just got real'.

>>8252134

From the Archives:

Hey, it didn't all go my way either. Don J.A.M.V.-C.'s storybook view of the world frequently got him in trouble, and he was useless in investigation and mystery segments (except for the times when he'd accidentally do the right thing.)

But the real problem was that, as a Spanish gentleman, he viewed women as treasures to protect, cherish, make sweet love to, and never ever listen to.

This is a problem when the BBEG is female. Although it was pretty funny when I kidnapped her to save her from those wicked men who were using her (her minions.)

"Let me GO you oily-haired brute! What do you think you're doing?"

"Hush now, my dove. You have a man with you now, and I will do the thinking for both of us."

>>8252377

And more:

Heh, Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales is a lot of fun to play, but I don't suggest him as a role model. Reckless pursuit of magnificent glory can have terrible consequences.

This took place several years ago, in the Deadlands game.

The party arrived in a town that was gradually falling under the sway of an evil priest. The DM thought that this would provide conflict and interesting roleplaying; could Don Antino, a Mexican and therefore a Catholic, attack a man of the cloth? How long would the evidence mount and the wicked man's influence spread before Don Antino admitted his preconceptions were wrong?

I helpfully pointed him to the character backstory I had given him for his notes, wherein it was mentioned that the house of Velasco-Cabrales had in fact been forced to leave Spain because they were Protestant, and as a result Don J.A.M.V.-C. was not favorably disposed towards Catholics.

At the first hint of devilry, I led the uncorrupted half of the town into battle with the false Father's flock, exhorting them to valor and slaughter. "Cut down the decadent Papists," I cried! "DEATH TO THE POPE!"

At that point, our host's wife stuck her head in from the next room, where she'd been watching the news.

"Pope John Paul just died," she said.

Years later, my friends haven't stopped giving me crap for killing the pope. Every time the new one makes a speech about how condoms are the devil's work, I get a glare.

Roleplay with caution, my friends. Roleplay with care.

>>8252377
He is such a gentlesenor

>>8252408
>At the first hint of devilry, I led the uncorrupted half of the town into battle with the false Father's flock, exhorting them to valor and slaughter. "Cut down the decadent Papists," I cried! "DEATH TO THE POPE!"

>At that point, our host's wife stuck her head in from the next room, where she'd been watching the news.

>"Pope John Paul just died," she said.

Shit just got real.

>>8252282
"Overhead, without any fuss, the stars were going out."

>>8252408
Holy crap.

>>8252506
Well, everybody does shit themselves when they die.

>>8252465
Nine Billion names of God?

>>8252408
Fucking brilliant.

>>8252538

Yeah, >>8252282 is sourced from 9 Bn Names.

>>8252465
>>8252465
>>8252465
>>8252465
I think you might want to stop this temple, because in the story, THE WORLD ENDS.

>>8252579
Yup. Read it for English last year and thought it would make for a kickass DH campaign.

>>8252686
It's good, and chilling.

>>8250360

>>8252682
Yeah, in our plot, our BBEG pretty much has the means to complete the ritual and summon a daemon strong enough to destroy the Calixis Sector (the last time this happened the entire alien race who created it accidentally their whole culture to seal it). He's holding the whole sector to ransom and pretty much anybody in a position to know about it in time to stop him has been killed off by him and/or the PCs.

The acolytes are basically trying to stop the second in command of the Templar Calix from completing his goal, because Lord Sector Marius Hax is God-Emperor-damned not going to let some puncy psyker steal his sector from under his nose if he can help it.

>>8252706
It has one of the single best ending lines in all of fiction.

Although "The Last Question" is also pretty damn good:

Matter and energy had ended and with it, space and time. Even AC existed only for the sake of the one last question that it had never answered from the time a half-drunken computer ten trillion years before had asked the question of a computer that was to AC far less than was a man to Man.

All other questions had been answered, and until this last question was answered also, AC might not release his consciousness.

All collected data had come to a final end. Nothing was left to be collected.

But all collected data had yet to be completely correlated and put together in all possible relationships.

A timeless interval was spent in doing that.

And it came to pass that AC learned how to reverse the direction of entropy.

But there was now no man to whom AC might give the answer of the last question. No matter. The answer -- by demonstration -- would take care of that, too.

For another timeless interval, AC thought how best to do this. Carefully, AC organized the program.

The consciousness of AC encompassed all of what had once been a Universe and brooded over what was now Chaos. Step by step, it must be done.

And AC said, "LET THERE BE LIGHT!"

And there was light----

>>8252752
If you want to add an extra layer of OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK, have it be that the "daemon" in question actually IS the Emperor, in the distant future. It's just that opening a portal to his divine radiance is the equivalent of opening a portal to the heart of the Sun.

>>8252809
Epic level is one thing, but that feels like going a bit too far.

"Sorry guys, we accidentally the Emprah, is that bad?"
*THE IMPERIUM FALLS*

>>8252766
And the ending of "The Nine Billion Names of God":

The swift night of the high Himalayas was now almost upon them. Fortunately the road was very good, as roads went in this region, and they were both carrying torches. There was not the slightest danger, only a certain discomfort from the bitter cold. The sky overhead was perfectly clear and ablaze with the familiar, friendly stars. At least there would be no risk, thought George, of the pilot being unable to take off because of weather conditions. That had been his only remaining worry.

He began to sing but gave it up after a while. This vast arena of mountains, gleaming like whitely hooded ghosts on every side, did not encourage such ebullience. Presently George glanced at his watch.

"Should be there in an hour," he called back over his shoulder to Chuck. Then he added, in an afterthought, "Wonder if the computer’s finished its run? It was due about now."

Chuck didn’t reply, so George swung round in his saddle. He could just see Chuck’s face, a white oval turned toward the sky.

"Look," whispered Chuck, and George lifted his eyes to heaven. (There is always a last time for everything.)

Overhead, without any fuss, the stars were going out.

>>8252766
It was not yet time to resume deceleration and he waited while the ship dropped endlessly downward with him and the drives purred softly. He saw that the white hand of the supplies closet temperature gauge was on zero. A cold equation had been balanced and he was alone on the ship. Something shapeless and ugly was hurrying ahead of him, going to Woden where its brother was waiting through the night, but the empty ship still lived for a little while with the presence of the girl who had not known about the forces that killed with neither hatred nor malice. It seemed, almost, that she still sat small and bewildered and frightened on the metal box beside him, her words echoing hauntingly clear in the void she had left behind her:

I didn't do anything to die for—I didn't do anything—

Archive this thread, in the name of brilliant Spanish swordsmen.

This thread needs to be archived.

If only to preserve the glory of Don Jorge Antino Martin Velasco-Cabrales, slayer of the Pope, whom all dice swoon for.

Playing CoC and had a few of these.

1. At the abandoned house of this Zombie-puppet's family [we found it through his wife and had no idea who he was yet], three of us searched around the house. Saw him coming because our taxi honked and warned us, we did the only logical thing. Hid in the basement. I decided to be smart, stand in front of the mirror with fog pouring out and some cloaked lady coming out, was going to break it, but pussied out deciding it was better to hide and not get ripped to pieces by the the zombie. Lady walked out of the mirror, zombie bowed to her. My character pissed himself, the French Foreign Legion vet lit two sticks of dynamite and we leveled the house after we escaped. After that? Shit got real.

2. One of the characters had his son kidnapped, his son fit the profile of a bunch of kids who had been murdered. We knew that it had something to do with zombie and cloaked mirror bitch. Shit got real for him.

3. Killed the zombie, after a fight in a cemetery where I botched every. fucking. thing I did, lost my mind for a bit, and yeah. Killed him with a piece of a mirror in the hotel where everything started. Only, there was a stairwell behind the mirror we broke. We were on the top floor. The lady in the mirror started coming at us and we had the boy who would revive her and bring her to her full strength with us. Shit got real.

>>8252943

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/8248781/

Just for you.

so, long story short:

i was the barbarian captain of a longship in one of my favorite sea-based campaigns to date, and we were a-sea in gale force winds. suddenly, a rival ship starts approaching, and we knew they meant to kill us.

i hated this DM anyways, so i asked him if i was capable of doing the following:

jump off the ship into roiling seas. swim to their ship. climb aboard. leap over the crew. rip their mast from it's moorings, swing it in an arc to push the crew back, and swing it down to break their ship in half. then swim back and keep a-sailin'.

keep in mind i had an STR score of 30.

he dared me to try. i did. all the way.

shit just got real.

So we're playing a low-magic D&D 3.5 gestalt game based off of The Witcher PC game. Our enclave of Witchers defeated a horde of 20000+ savages with the help of some legendary NPCs (who were all killed) and an Imperial legion of hobgoblins who abandoned us to our deaths midway through the battle.

The 50 of us who survived sprinted back to our fortress to defend it against the Legion, who were on the way to wipe us out and claim victory for the history books. Well there was no fucking way we were letting them get away with it without going down fighting. Several days later, they were pounding on our last door, and we were almost out of options... when our bound Marilith cook mentioned she could kill them and save us if we broke the spell that was keeping her there. Fuck it, might as well give the Legion something to remember us by.

We kill some weak outsiders defending the magic orb that bound her and returned to her, only to have a Solar appear demanding we don't give her the orb. We ask for his help instead, but he's a dick about it and refuses . Fuck him, we're sticking with the demon who's gonna save our lives. We give her the orb.

Suddenly, she transforms into a gargantuan, 4-headed, winged Marilith and crushes the solar to a pulp. She screams (out loud and telepathically): "FINALLY! AFTER 23 MILLENIA, I AM FREE! I AM GALSHIEM, GOD-SLAYER! FLEE BEFORE ME" and proceeds to slaughter the Legion.

Shit got real.

>>8253116
A few sessions later, 3 of us (level 6 gestalts) were camping in the forest with a human ranger we had found. Our DM rolls to figure out who's on night watch, then asks the player for a spot check. He rolls like ass. The DM then asks for a listen check, which the player destroys. "You hear the sound of wings flapping above you."

He looks up, to see a huge sized half-fiend rust dragon floating over the party. SHIT JUST GOT REAL. AGAIN.

I also like "Wolves Till the World Goes Down", but there isn't an easily quotable bit and it's not well-known enough that I can feel okay about spoiling it.

The full text of the story is here: http://www.ideomancer.com/fy/Eekhout-Wolves/Eekhout-Wolves.htm

I was a drug addict preist from necromunda whose noble father gets him out of everything . my bro was a tough as nails arbite who was trying to bust me since he was a rookie. UNTIL ONE DAY THEY GOT DRAFTED BY THE SAME INQUISITOR. the shenanigans mostly consisted of "if we get out of this your going straight to prison". but when we survived an attempted party wipe we became bros. in the end I was all like "derp derp cliche, so I guess you have to take me in" he was all like "why the only preist with me died back on the ship" it was such a buddy cop moment, reminded me of these two

I was playing a barbarian reaping mauler.
I was swallowed by a purple worm
I ripped through its stumach tore my way through its insides then grappled its heart giving it a heart attack.

>>8253116
As long as this ends with a Witcher Megazord, I'm okay with it.

>>8253234
Well, we managed to kill it through ridonkulous luck. Afterward we cut it up into bits and distilled them into alchemical components to be made into uber-potions.

Little chance of us getting a witcher-zord, our DM's going with the "dark fantasy" approach.

>>8253340
He paraphrased Rita Repulsa. That's not as dark as he might like to think.

Where the fuck is Wasteland Warrior?

Our bard got mind controlled into throwing himself into a sacrificial circle. We had an epic grapple fight, I failed my grapple checks about 5 times so he dragged me 30 ft. (I have +3 STR mod he has +0). Cleric here.

He ends up getting throw in the circle, nearly sacrificed, but I managed to kill the other two guys grappled with me and save the bard as a cleric at level 2. I was also able to save my entire party, keep them alive, and up for most of the fight.

After he got thrown into the circle, my face was literally OP's picture.

In a 3.5 campaign I'm in, the players take the roles of the ruling council of a city-state. My character was the somewhat unscrupulous head of the arcane arts for the city. He often advocated slightly unethical things and believed in keeping a firm grip on the people of the city- no power should be allowed to rest in the hands of someone not on the council, in his opinion, and he was always worried about spies from surrounding nations as well. Still, he was utterly fanatical when it came to advancing the city's welfare, constructing many valuable devices and coming up with numerous ideas which helped bring everyone prosperity, and he never broke his word once given. Though occasionally he'd explicitly refuse to agree with something, particularly after the rest of the council voted to do something he thought was idiotic or counterproductive, which generally prompted everyone else getting an "oh shit, he's going crazy again" moment.

Shit got real for him when, at a council meeting, he discovered that three of the other council members had decided he was so unreliable that he merited a knife in the back. One failed fortitude save later, he took eight Con damage and a stack of sneak attack dice and died without being able to take an action.

Shit got real for everyone else when his cohort, upon discovering her master's fate, activated his secret army of bound outsiders and unleashed them on his murderers.

D&D 3.5, playing an all warforged party. We're on amission to try and stop the freeing of the elder evil kyuss, the work that walks. Purple worm busts out of the ground, eats the barbarian.
Hexblade makes shit-just-got-real-face, walks up, hexes, then casts suggestion. "That barbarian is poison, you feel very sick." Worm puke everywhere.

Party's paladin starts acting like a dick to an assistant foreman on top of a building that's scheduled to be destroyed. This Shining, Golden Sword of Massive Importance was at the top of this building, and is supposed to be removed from it and sold at an auction. Paladin opposes this and says that he's going to walk away with the sword because it belongs in the hands of someone capable of using it.

Assistant foreman considers his options for a moment, then says "Then let's be fair about this. Give me a chance to get it from you. If I can outwit you, I get to do my job and deliver the blade to the auction, like I'm supposed to. If I can't, then you can have it and I'll probably lose my job."

Paladin rolls his eyes and says "Sure. If you can take it from my hand, you can keep it." He then proceeds to use a Glove Of Storing to make it vanish.

Assistant foreman pauses and asks where it went. Paladin explains that it's in his glove and starts to walk away. Assistant foreman immediately grabs his hand and throws himself out of a window.

>>8253401
Why the fuck does that even matter? And for that matter, who the fuck is Wasteland Warrior and why should I give a shit?

Yes, this is from a game of CthulhuTech:

Humans are loosing badly, entire countres have been devoured by more and more gods rising and now fleets of spaceships made in secret head for the stars. Hive ship be damned.

The sky lights up as battle cruises fire in every direction, taking scores of bugs with them before going down in molten chunks of glory. My team's leader stands at the helm of the last ship with a finger hovering over the button that sets off a space-fold generator that'll reset the entire dimension. Instead they go for it and try to break through the swarm of migou mecha.

row row fight da powa

>>8254102

Wasteland Warrior is a storyteller. He used to regale us all with tales of treachery, deceit, and awkward homosexual encounters with trap Twi'leks that result in the death of Boba Fett.

We get ambushed by storm commandos. Our pilot/cheif engineer/techie begins frantically attaching an x-wing laser to a forklift. A commando charges in, bare handed. I, bloodcarver infiltrator/scoundrel, spring from shadows and intercept. I can't deny dex to def at all. Shitjustgotrealface. Force user knocks him back, I proceed to throw a type c therm on top him while he's prone. He gets up. He charges again, but techman has laser powered. Commando take an x-wing laser to the face, keeps coming. Wholepartyshitjustgotrealface. He grapples the elite soldier, then snaps his neck. Shit couldn't get more real.

To set the state: The party was engaging the evil army outside the good guy's city of gondor equivalent, while the more technical NPC used the fetch quest stuff they had collected to finish repairing the magical super weapon that was going to save the day. The ground begins to shake. The walled fortification that form the city break away from the cliff face, and slowly begin to rise skyward.

...revealing that the city was in fact the space battleship Yamoto.

>>8254081
Isn't Suggestion a Language-dependent spell?

>>8254555
it's been quite a while since I played 3.5 with any amount of seriousness, but as far as I know since it's mind affecting, it doesnt need language to operate. Whatever the true case may be, the DM alowed it for one reason or another.

AD&D 2E. Bard with a "Chaotic Fuck You" alignment. DM hated character and was trying to kill him, designed entire adventure to accomplish said task. Spiteful DM is still honest DM, however. Who can make ridiculous dexterity checks crashing through windows and swinging grappling hooks? Bard can.

Fuck yeah.

>>8254779
Just re-read what I wrote. I phrased that terribly. What I meant to convey is that, at least by this particular dm, the verbal component didn't restrict it to only a target understanding the spoken language, but that it's a mental compulsion.

D&D 4E. Warlock and party is standing in a doorway of room on the way to objective. Trap is sprung, doors start to close, undead start to arise. Decision time: are we in the room or out of the room? Fuck it, we're in the room. Confidently Warlock jumps among the undead, taking opp attacks left right and center. Must reach other door. Room starts to fill with water. We are going to fucking drown or be eaten by undead.

Oh no we're not, because Warlock is going to teleport to the other side of the door and unlock the door.

Except teleport requires line of sight.

Shit just got real, yo.

Dark Heresy, team is being overrun by a group of cultists, I'm assassin/sniper and about 600 meters off, take a crack shot at the psycher enemy who's keeping us down, almost get him, he starts to manifest a power.... and the DM just starts laughing, Perils.... 99......Unbound Fuckin Deamonhost..... Shit Got Real.

>>8254872
>4E
>Lethal trap
I don't even.

We recovered a top secret data chip, embedded in the skull of a South American warlord, for Arasaka. We meet up with the corps in the middle of a busy shopping mall back state-side, to hand it to them and get our money. PCs #1 & #2 (fixer and nomad) go to meet the suits, while PCs # 3,4 and 5, (solo, solo & rocker) stay in the vehicle waiting.

Arasaka suit shows up. Thing goes sideways. A dozen corporate operatives bounce out from all sides, with kevlar and medium SMGs.

Three PCs in the van lock and load, and get out, all wearing full MetalGear, and with Heavy Assault Rifles.

Shit was about to get real...

Once, in DH, we had a reasonably mild-mannered Techpriest who never wanted to be involved in this fucking war in the first place; a low level scrivener who only got joined up with the rest of the party because they happened to be passing through the shattered remains of his Enclave when he finally got the door to the outside open. He was the only survivor, so he just started following them because nobody else would tell him what to do.
So, he's skulking through the assembly floor of an enormous, warehouse-like superheavy tank factory, cradling a priceless relic; a near legendary plasma gun used by a living saint. He rounds a corner, only to see two traitor guardsmen loafing around. Beyond them he can see our contact, an imperial guard captain, covered in khornate tattoos and laughing as he disembowels someone strapped on top of a horrible blasphemous altar. He kind of lost it.

Three turns of striding forwards through a hail of fully auto lasgun fire, miraculously not being hit once and roaring a damning piece of Omnissian scripture (fuck yeah Rite of Awe), vaulted onto the altar, jammed the plasma gun between the teeth of the stunned guard commander and fired it on full power. The captain (and a large section of floor behind him) just fucking evaporated. The two traitor guard took one look at the horribly disfigured creature in the tattered, billowing red robes, shuddering in rage as the remains of their former commanding officer expanded into a fine mist, and ran the fuck away.
The next time that Techpriest ran into traitor guard from that regiment, the GM told him he counted as being Fear 1. They also refused to go anywhere near Adeptus Mechanicus assets, because they thought there was a ghost hunting them. Shit was so cash.

>>8255195
>MetalGear with Heavy Assault Rifles vs. medium SMGs and kevlar.
Let me guess; Arasaka boys got raepd in the ass.

Our rowboat got attacked by a Galleon when the Barb tried to intimidate it. They launched Newly cut down trees as bolts for their holy mother of god sized mounted crossbows. Barb got crit, and Lived! Shit got real after that.

Also, we needed to capture a golden bird for a quest and we didn't have any ranged attackers. I rolled to throw myself at the ground. I rolled a 1. DM made me roll to see if I realized what just happened. I rolled another 1. Shit got real.
(If you didn't know, if you throw yourself at the ground and miss, you start flying. (Rolling 1 was also automatic failure if that needed to apply))

>>8251185
This is the groups operation director. Its worth noting that it was the pilots idea to get air dropped. I was mostly against it, but thought it would be worth a try, since Ramiel had previously been stunned by a N2 Bomb.

After this leg was shot off, it became more of a rescue operation. I thought the Berserk roll was gonna TPK out group.

I was pleasantly surprised.

I was running a game of Deadlands where the party were fighting an outlaw gang in an abandoned pueblo city. They take out a few of the mooks, but then their Harrowed leader comes out. The slightly unhinged shaman character, who had crap strenght and a crappy skill in fighting with knives ambushes the dude and knives him. Hits him, rolls and hits the head (in the original Deadlands system), rolls his 1d6 strenght for damage, rolls a 6 and another and another and another and another...

In the end he killed the hard-as-nails Harrowed gunslinger, who had laughed off gunfire in the previous turn, by knifing him into the head for massive damage, the only character in the party who had almost no fighting skills.

PCs are exploring giant ghost ship half the size of Luna. PCs encounter old American flag in a quantum location on the ship; American ship's AI has gone mad, shooting everything alive in sight and fighting the biomechanical xenomoprh-looking construction robots of the primary ship they're on. To save the primary ship, they've got to reset the AI in the American ship so it can be shunted back to its reality.

Giant robots emerge from the American sector and proceed to have a knock-down, drag-out fight with the construction robots and a crystal/acid/borate based life form. After a whole lot of "hot damn, technology we KNOW HOW TO USE," PCs use the wreckage to rebuild one of the "American" robots and use their laptop to hack-kludge a system shell that the robot can use.

They assert control over their duct-tape robot creation, dub him "Kludgenstein" and send him in ahead of themselves after stealing RFID tags from the other robots and proceed to march him through a silicate creature hive, showering him with acid and borax. When they last see him, he is still fighting the silicon creatures as they swarm him in ever greater numbers.

Kludgenstein has now entered our group as a meme. Often with the entire group humming the Terminator 2 ending theme.

There is a rogue posthuman intelligence on the ship named TC3K, or "The Cube 3000," wearing a little girl sleeve body, and I was thinking of having it find Kludgenstein, fix him, and ride him around for the PCs to run into later.

>>8254102

You know, most newfags at least *try* to disguise the fact that they've only been on the board for two weeks

Firefly campaign.

My character, the surly Scottish cook is drinking at a bar. On independence day. Now, seeing as he held no allegiance during the war, it doesn't matter too much to him. But, he decides to get this party started by glassing the closest mud fucker.

Our captain shows up. Somehow gets the group outside. Where the cook joins the brawl again. Along with our mechanic, and pilot. Cook - takes down 4 lugs, in addition to the 2 in the bar. Pilot - 2, mechanic - 1, not too shabby for a midget.

Captain walks out the door and sees us beating the crap out of some yokels with a pile of bloody and groaning bodies around us. His face was definitely "shit just got real"

The artifact we worked months to recover was handed to the the nobleman by his squire, and he looked it over with care. It was a sacrificial dagger with an orb affixed to the end, and at the point we were all 5th level in 3.5.
The noble smiles, seperating the orb from the dagger, and then swallowing it whole. Standing up, he claps his hands together, and turns into, in full veiw of everyone present, a full sized dracolich. Luckily, the throne room was large enough to fit his size, it having once belonged to the king.
He laughed, thanked us for freeing him from the king, then burst from the roof and flew away.

OWoD game. was just me, a gangrel who grew up a country girl, and my roomy playing a home locked closet weeaboo/computer nerd.

We're brand new players, and brand new to the system. We made extremely young, new neonates. We get put on a 'mission' to help this Ventrue out with a some drug dealer...

Except it's a russian bratva arms dealer... That and the Ventrue guy happens to have the deputy chief of police ghouled, and is trying to raise his standing to get the chief debunked...

We got into his mansion and got up to his office via lucky rolls, drunk passed out russians, and lots of the toreador using awe and command.

And then the Ventrue sends the SWAT team to kill everyone...including us.

Shit got real.

We kill pretty much all of the swat members, with a claymore the DM didn't expect us to use. (Was on the russian's desk with 'Do Not DIsturb' written on it, as a gag. We didn't realize it was real until we hit a button that detonated it.) Then, we go jumping out a window, 100 feet into the icy atlantic...And survive to save the russion only because of a rediculous falling success score... I think I took like 1-2 damage, and saved the russian by ghouling him.

by the way, ghouling russian arms dealers isn't in my list of good ideas.

My party started off doing the typical adverterer stuff, being a bunch of guys from a super low magic setting we killed a few kobolds, protected a caravan from bandits, traversed an ancient forest, killed some orcs that were eating people...

Eventually we get to a city with no one in it, we look around and find no one... so we slept in the Inn and the next morning everyone is back and acting as if all was well... so we pay and decide to look around to see what's what... we talk to the village priest, shopkeepers, blacksmith; everyone and no one will say anything but everyone seems scared...

So we find out from a young girl that everyone goes to the church to pray to "keep the bad men away" we question the priest about this and he assures us that everything is fine, the town apparently had some disappearances a few weeks ago but it's stopped...

So we decide that the church is fishy so we break in that night we find bodies piled next to an alter and eventually slay some guards and find a cleric with his pair of worgs... which we are diven off by (being a low level party) we eventually flee to the barracks the guards were using and shore them up to heal and recoup...

The cleric tries a few times to get in but we have everything we can get against the door and the walls are stone... so leaves us.. the party is in pretty bad shape so we end up staying there for 2 days to heal up...

When we finally exit 2 days later we realize why he didn't really care if we stayed.... we exit the city into shambling, greyed people as far as the eye can see down the streets of the city....

Shit got real...

>>8248952
Shit just got
>>8248975
fucking
>>8248977
real

>Shit just got real moments

Does this count?

>>8258961
THAT IS FUCKING EPIC.

>>8258961
Very much so.

>>8258961
This picture is what convinced one of my friends to play DH with us. When i asked him what kind of character he wanted to play he said "PYROMANCER!" practically before the sentence got out of my mouth.

I intend to use a Gellar Field Malfunction as an opportunity for this sort of half-bound daemon thing to make a deal with him. Then...
shit will get real.

We were just finishing up our Dark Heresy mission, which was to find some cultist guy in the underhive. By this time our party had also no wounds left. The party had just cleared a four floor building and we were riding an elevator to some manager's officer, where we had last seen the cultist leader and was only accessible from the elevator. There was some piss-ant fake enforcer and I blasted him away. Quickly searching the room our psyker found a ladder up to the room. Climbing up, we found the cultist leader, along with a tech priest and four other fake-enforcers, trying to escape on some flying transport. Our assassin shoots the head of the tech priest, but the cultist leader is starting to escape. The psyker tried to use unnatural aim, but rolled a nine. Then he got perils of the warp. Now we were freaking out. Earlier in the mission he had gotten perils and was possessed by a demon. He rolled and luckily did not get possessed by a demon. However all technology in 50 meters was disable, including the plane. All of us are stunned. Our psyker just took down a plane, which was heading straight for us. So the plane crashed wiping out all the fake enforcers, by crushing them, and landed on top of the psyker's legs, crushing them and making him pinned underneath the plane, since he failed the agility test. The rest of the group, passing the agility test, just looked on with amazement. Still the pilot was alive and shooting at our downed pysker. Now just annoyed, the pysker threw a grenade into the cockpit and killed the pilot. Shortly I knocked out the cultist leader and we chopped off the pysker's legs.

bump for real shit gettin'

Holy shit, this thread is still alive.

In a Liberi Gothica playtest my character went to the hospital her brother was kept at, only to find everyone slaughtered. Turns out the Liberi that had been killing doctors left and right hit the place, and I followed my brother's bloody footprints to where he passed out. I ended up confronting the killer, with minutes until the chemical purge the factories have to do twice a day (which will kill anyone out in the streets)

Despite being outmatched, I lasted long enough to scare him off with the eminent chemical purge and carry my brother to a shelter.

Also later when almost all the PCs met, and harsh words came to blows, we all got serious face. Course my serious face ended up in the dirt along with most everyone else.

ITT

My GM has taken our Cyberpunk 2.0.2.0. party onto another planet, and our new enemies are a legion of dinosaur-riding giants.