Go with a Thrane, Gaijin girls are freaks in the bed.

>>8217656

I am sorry, but I fear my parents would never accept a gaijin as a daughter-in-law.

Marry a Scorpion
advicekachiko.jpg
Treat her well

I usually back the Unicorn in everything, but in your case, have you looked at the Fox clan? A quick-witted girl might be just your thing.

Why choose? Take them all. Show your parents you're a crazy fucking stud.

>>8217711

A well-treated Scorpion bride who actually likes you is the most dangerous, dangerous thing in the world to your enemies. And the most fun in bed.

>>8217725

Pffft, gaijin in disguise, and a Minor Clan that lives in the forest talking to foxes?

Oh, wait, the Fox are Mantis now.

Crab clan woman.

Other wives are for sissies.

>>8217766

This is for a Shiba, don't they have to put up with enough shit from the Isawa without having a giant wife punching things and smothering her poor, tiny husband in her massive, Crab-clan bosom?

Actually, I approve of this. Crab Clan is a fine choice.

Phoenix Clan, huh? Fuck, who do they ally with, again?

Crab tits, are the best tits.

>>8217808
Crane. Occasionally Crab, lion, or Unicorn.

Hate Dragon. Hate Mantis.

>>8217820
>hate Mantis

Now why would you do a silly thing like that?

>>8217766
Crab Girls are fucking HUUUUUUUUGE!

>>8217840
because the mantis hate them. for reasons that seem utterly silly.

>>8217862
I am intrigued anon...?

Pheonix, Fire Shugenja with duelling abilities. Maho isn't that good. Nastiest character I've ever played was an incarnation of destruction - capable of taking on a squad of Crab samurai with his blade, and then incinerating their backup.

You might also consider a Void Shugenja. Strange, but very, very fun.

Personally, I'm rather fond of the Dragon Clan too. Tattooed monks? Yes!

>>8217881

Is it because the Phoenix don't appreciate their life of carefree piracy?

>>8217884
Yes, for that is the MIGHT OF THE CRAB!

Go for a nice Doji girl, Yusuke-san. Honestly, you seem like a nice young man, you don't want a woman who is going to ruin your reputation and dishonor you constantly, like a brutish Crab or treacherous Scorpion. Our women are as lovely and graceful as our namesake bird, with voices soft and pleasing to the ear, and we can guarantee that she possesses vast courtly graces.

THIS is an actual Crab woman.

Just don't marry a Yoritomo girl. With their cheap jewelry and veiled threats.

Crab battle.

>>8217953

Also, 50% odds she has a penis.

>>8217953
>>8218008

Is...is this true!?

Forgive me, I am slightly overwhelmed by all of these conflicting opinions, but I trust the collective judgement of this assembly, and am certain that you can help me find a bride.

>>8217953
Bah! Who cares what the counts say of you! You are samurai, and a mighty hida girl is right for you! Only she has has the strength to be worthy bride and protect your children.

>>8218030
My Dear Shiba, the Crane make fine brides, this is true.
But a proper Crab woman will be a strong wife and bear strong children.
She will also know how to defend her home and family.
For a woman trained in the ways of war knows how to properly do such things.

>>8218050

I fear I would be crushed and die a dishonorable death.

You can teach a woman many things

How to not be ugly is not one of them

>>8218084
That fool shows you a gajin beast!
Not a proper Crab woman!

Have you ever considered what we in the Shadowlands can do for you? We, the cruelly maligned? Come, let us show yuou the wonders of taint!

ALso, you don't have a choice. We've tainted the location your home stands on. Neener-neener-neener. Tentacles or wings?

>>8218050
>>8217926
>>8217862

Hmph! Look at these overstuffed sumai you call women! I doubt they are good for anything more than sticking in an Oni's throat and choking it!

Disgraceful and disgusting. A proper warrior woman should look like...well, the attached image. Graceful, yet deadly, just like the katana.

>>8217711
You seriously think that a Scorpion girl will care how well you treat her? Expect to get fucked over at every turn regardless. You need a wife who's got nothing up her sleeve, and that's gonna be hard. Possibly certain kinds of Crab or Dragon, or ideally a Monkey if you know for sure she's not some kind of secret Scorpion ninja.

>>8218084
Do not fear her size, EMBRACE HER! Let her mass and her love protect you better than even the greatest armour and let her fury crush your foes like a mighty Hida Hammer!

Let the bond between you be stronger than that of the Kaiu Wall and it shall never fail!

>>8218139
My dear Crane, I think that some one has fooled you into thinking that THOSE are Crab women

Haven't I seen this thread on suptg before?

>>8217602

Hello there, handsome. Now, I realize that a simple, poor girl like me is probably unworthy of your time but...hear me out.

Although ronin, I belong to an association that hopes to become a true Clan in the near future. Like you, we fight for justice, and as a powerful Shugenja in my own right I would be an excellent fit for such a strong, Phoenix warrior. Besides, I would fit perfectly in your strong arms. If I am not chosen, at least share a cup of tea with me? I could use some company, for the roads are lonely and dangerous to a lone woman.

>>8217840
BECAUSE ALL OF YOU ARE HONORLESS BEYOND HOPE, AND YOUR WOMEN ARE AS LIKELY AS NOT YANDERE.

>>8217766
CRAB WOMEN ARE PRETTY GOOD, YEAH. THEY KNOW ALL ABOUT DUTY, AND I'M SURE IF YOU LIKE EXCESSIVE BODY HAIR YOU'LL HAVE A GREAT TIME IN BED.

BUT REALLY, LET'S BE SERIOUS HERE. THE BEST WOMEN IN THE EMPIRE ARE DOUBTLESSLY MATSU. THEY'RE STRONG, THEY'RE PASSIONATE, THEY'RE HONORABLE. YOU CAN ONLY HOPE ONE WILL LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS SHE LOVES BEING A COMPLETE BADASS. PLUSES INCLUDE: JOINING THE LION CLAN AND LEARNING WHAT BEING A SAMURAI IS ALL ABOUT; HAVING YOUR WIFE WILL PUNCH THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR DETRACTORS, SAVING YOU A LOT OF HASSLE; GETTING TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE WHO'S LIKE A BRO WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING SEX WITH A BRO; AND SO MUCH MORE IT'S NOT EVEN A MATTER OF DEBATE. MATSU.

>>8218143
Any woman who displays affection has something up her sleeve. You need to find a woman who hates your guts. Who really hates the Phoenix right now?

This shit is complicated. Just do some clancest.

>>8218226

HMPH, YOU! YOU CLAIM TO BE THE ORIGINAL SHOUTING MATSU!? IT IS ALRIGHT, HOWEVER, BUT REMEMBER THAT THE WAY OF TRUE WARRIORS IS THE WAY OF RESPECT. MANY CRAB WOMEN HAVE VERY LITTLE BODY HAIR, AND ARE QUITE PLEASINGLY SMOOTH TO THE TOUCH. THAT SAID, YOU RAISE A GOOD POINT.

A MATSU WOMAN WILL BE THE MOST VIGOROUS CREATURE YOU HAVE EVER SEEN. SHE WILL BE MORE LOYAL TO YOU THAN YOU WOULD BELIEVE POSSIBLE. SHE WILL GO TOE-TO-TOE AGAINST ANY ENEMY AND COME OUT OF IT LAUGHING AND VICTORIOUS, AND SHE WILL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND THE WHOLE TIME.

Hey guys, what's going on in here?

>>8218254

I think Lion hate 'em, but the empire's gone all lovey-dovey ever since the Clan War. The last really good hatred went out when the phoenix and mantis had there war, then got bored. The best you can get now-a-days is disdain.

>>8218225

Well, she seems legit. Why not her, OP?

>>8218225
Sorry, all the good animals are taken already. You'll have to be the Banana Slug Clan.

Let's say I want to start a clan whose soldiers make extensive use of that funny new powder from China. What animal would they be?

Oh, heavenly Samurai, you truely are a man of honor and gentlemanship. We are likely to be unworthly, but would you not pick one of use to be your bride.

You may choose all of us if you like. We wouldn't mind~

>>8218357

Ah, forgive me, Anonymous-san, but the group I belong to like to refer to ourselves as "Spider". What is a banana slug?

>>8218384
FUCK NO. That shit is for fireworks only. Nice try. The Witch Hunters are already on their way.

!

>>8218225
>>8218423

Ah, forgive me, I did not see you at first, the way one often misses a coin hidden beneath a reed mat. You are a ronin, but...I cannot deny you have a certain appealing quality.

>>8218384
You can't. Gaijin pepper is banned, except in fireworks, and one of the clans already does that.

>>8218410

>>8218453

But I wanted to make the Weeaboo Mechanicus :'(

>>8218384

Criminals. Gaijin pepper is a foul thing, unfitting with bushido, and explosives should be used only with fireworks. If you truly need to produce heat and force of that magnitude, my own clan produces many fine shugenja.

>>8218410

Forgive me, ladies, but my parents will not condone a marriage to gaijin.

hey guys I just met these weird guy with pale skin and a funny language. They say they're from Potchuugall or someplace. They say they want to trade with us. What should we do?

>>8218445

Ahh, you flatter me, but as I have said, the roads grow lonely, and I fear that I will become sickly and meet an early end if I continue this solitary life. Won't you please consider me as your bride? As I have said before, I can be useful to you in so many ways.

>>8218495

Buy up a lot of these.

>>8218423

Spider, huh? That sounds legit to me! Hey, Yusuke, how about this girl?

>>8218495
Tell them that the folks just south of that wall over there have been talking about how they've been wanting to change their religion and they're allergic to all the spices they've been sitting on.

>>8218521

And also a lot of these. Just try not to rage at their incredibly stupid laugh.

>>8218489
Well, would you not sit down and have tea and cakewith us? Surely, you cannot find a bride on an empty stomach and it would make us so happy if you did.

>>8218495

Execute them all. Last time, they made an assassination attempt on the Imperial Family.

>>8218545
You ethink ore logh is foony? HUAHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

>>8218552
OH SHI- ASSASSIN, RUN!!!

>>8218552

I SENSE SCORPION TRICKERY AFOOT!

Holy Fuck assassins!

>>8218519
So let me get this straight. She named her clan after a venomous blood-sucking pest who eats her mate after sex. Good luck with that.

I am more confused than ever. Please, will somebody help me decide?

>>8218226
Bowser Clan is BEST clan!

>>8218552

TAKE THIS ASSASSIN

/tg/ is afraid of women so youre better off taking your questions to /y/ or /d/ noble samurai

So far, the major options I have seen are Crab, Crane, Lion (specifically the women of the Matsu family), and Chuda Saori of the 'Spider Clan'.

>>8218139
that's a crane male, isn't it?

>>8218713

I have rivals?! Bring them forth and let me obliterate them! I'll show you I can be the best wife! I WON'T LEAVE A SINGLE ONE ALIVE. I WILL BURN THE FLESH FROM THEIR BONES, SO HELP ME KANSE-er, Kami.

Teehee.

>>8218720

Crane males can still be brides, actually.

>>8218624
Right, I'll make this real quick, right? 'Cause at the moment, I'm trying to hack this wanker's head. But short story is, after I win this battle, I'll be King of England, and I'll need a heir. A good solid lad with balls of thunder! Bit like you, I hear, so I'll forgive you for the dress. So here's the deal, you marry my daughter, bless her heart, give her a good solid rooting, get me a few grandsons worthy of my name, and I'll make you a Prince. As Prince, you're royal duty will include fighting in the names of the King (which is me,) England, St George and God, which will basicly come down to oppressing the Welsh, annoying the shit outta France and doing the odd crusade to get the Pope off my bloody back.

So how about it?

>>8218713
Such indecisiveness is unbecoming of a bushi. Marry a Moshi and your wife can make all your decisions for you. You know you want it.

>>8218143
You seriously do not know how the Scorpion work. Show a Scorpion loyalty and you cannot have a better ally. Even the Lion know a happy Scorpion wife is an asset. Just look at Ikoma Otemi, he has served the Lion well, and was even named Clan Champion until Matsu Yoshino came of age. His wife, (Shosuro) Yasuko was a great asset during the War of the Rich Frog and helped put a lot of political pressure on the Unicorn during war forcing them to end their campaign before they had captured Kaeru Toshi. With the loss of a Champion, the Lion would have eventually lost Kaeru Toshi and the Khan would have had the supplies to take the Imperial City when he made his bid for the Throne.

Seriously now, as a game mechanic...is it possible for someone of the Spider Clan to be not-evil?

>>8218775

You know, something really seems off about her.

>>8218775
Pick her, see seems like a respectable young woman. She can also defend your estate and ride into war with you like a fuckawsome japanese version of Mulan.

>>8218804
Shh... don't metagame.

>>8218818

No, seriously! I don't know!

>>8218797

If I recall, they splintered off from my own Clan, marrying one and bringing her home would lead to complications.

>>8218713
The Spider criminals as per the Empress' decree stay away from that one, Shiba-sama. Besides everyone knows the most beautiful women in Rokugan hail from the Scorpion.

>>8218817

I can be respectable, yes. Very respectable. Although, I'm afraid these clothes are a little ragged on me...I'm afraid I'm not presentable enough for Yusuke-kun.

>>8218775
>>8218226
Back off, bitches. He's mine.

>>8218804
Nope, the Spider Clan are devout followers of Fu-Leng. They harbor the most dire heresies.

>>8218840
>>8218846

If this leads to a catfight, I swear I'll never doubt the existence of the Fortunes again.

>>8218854

Of course, though, for someone tainted, it's often their only option, and what about Ronin who see other Ronin fighting for what looks like justice, and decide to join up with this bandit-fighting "Spider" Clan.

Though a minor clan, may i suggest seeking a bride within the Monkey clan?

>>8218854

As someone who has never read up on L5R, just how dire are we talkin'?

FOOLISH SAMURAI! I KNOW WHERE YOU CAN GET A GIRLFRIEND!

IN THE FUTURE!

>>8218851

Have we met, Moshi-chan?

>>8218878
Fu Leng stands for all things evil - brother killing brother, using gunpowder, and eating rare steak.

>>8218869
Go take 20 Goblin Heads and seek redemption with the Crab. That is the way of a true samurai.

The Spider arrange for those bandits to be there in the first place. A Spider's "justice" is just slavery to Jigoku.

>>8218890
That's not my name, it's yours. (slings over shoulder.)

>>8218878
It is as Commissar Fuklaw put it "Extra-Heretical." Those who follow the fallen brother are standing against the natural order of the universe and seek to destroy us all.

>>8218918

H-hey! Stop that! Really, w-we haven't even gotten to know eachother yet!

>>8218851
>>8218918

WHAT!? YOU DARE?!

Oh, your death will be slow and painful for laying hands on my Yusuke-kun!

>>8218933
Well have plenty of time for that after the wedding. Or would you rather be left with the witch and the raving madwoman?

>>8218959

What did you just call me, whore?

>>8218959

Well, if I know what areas your talents lie in, I will have an easier time introducing you to my parents.

...Damn, this thread just went Centipede out of fucking nowhere. This is awesome.

>>8218959
All right, we're doing this. Focus or strike?

>>8218985
Just a moment, dear. Stand clear and let me take care of business.

..What the hell is going on in this thread?

Why are their enormously fat women trotting around everywhere? I came to investigate a mysterious earthquake.. and..

Just.. what the hell?

>>8219007

I choose-oh hell with it. FU-LENG! NINTH AND GREATEST KAMI! GIVE ME THE POWER TO TAKE THE ONE I LOVE FOR MYSELF!

>>8219028

Alright, but...be careful, I'd hate for there to be a senseless waste of life.

>>8218973
She called you as you are, witch. The Inquisitor is on her way to have a talk with you. Have fun.

>>8219065

(to poster: is that a generic succubus or is there an actual sauce?)

>>8219065
What, you think I'm some kind of Crab who's afraid to get her katana dirty? Come here and taste it. Assuming your maho doesn't invoke some kind of surprise poetic justice because you worded it wrong.

>>8219120

(I just googled succubus and found it, so I'm guessing it's a generic tainted bitch, and I guess that's how Chuda found it)

>>8219121

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *charge*

I WON'T LET YOU TAKE MY HUSBAND!

>>8219161
*charges and shoves her spare finger of jade where the sun don't shine*
(Any of you trolls wanna roll some dice, be my guest.)

>>8219139

(ah. Also, are all spider women clingy stalker yandere psychos? Because there was a thread much like this one a while back, except with honorable samurai saving the poor schlub from being given Tainted tea or somesuch.)

No...I won't let it end like this...with the last of my power...I'll finish you all!

>>8219230

Actually, it was ANOTHER Phoenix, who was being bewitched into loving a Shadowlands-empowered Spider sorceress, who wanted him to drink tea with her blood in it so that she could use the one Shadowlands power to dominate him and make him hers forever.

So, yes.

>>8219230
The taint leads to insanity, yandere psycho-bitches is just one manifestation.

It is best to avoid it all together. Leave the Shadowlands to the Crab, they seem to handle it...most of the time.

>>8219241
I got this one. Countered

>>8219211

Izanami! You've shown me your bravery...if you'll still have me, I'll happily be your husband. Just please, don't lose!

>>8219241
*doesn't stop cutting a bitch up*
Killing us all? That's not the power you asked for, was it?

>>8219331

Urk! You can kill me all you want, my spirit will find its way back, I WILL have my revenge!

>>8219359
Ronin are all talk.
*wipes the blood off her sword*
>>8219308
This way. You're going to love being a Moshi.

>>8219402

Yes dear. I think I shall.

>>8219442
/thread?

>>8219469

Sure, got any instant messenger or anything? This went surprisingly awesome, and I'm always happy to meet other L5R fans.

Sometimes I'm on YIM. You?

Anyway, I'm too tired to make up a "where are they now" at the moment. I'm going to bed soon.

Pic unrelated.

>>8219551

I've also got YIM. What's yours?

Ignore the silly name on mine, I've had it for literally half a decade.

>>8219578
Silly names are no biggie.

Haven't actually played L5R in a while, just picked up the newest RPG book recently.

You know, this thread should have been completely lame, with in-thread roleplaying and all...but I actually enjoyed it.

>>8219635

The damnedest thing about /tg/ is that it's enjoyable. Through trolls and poor grammar, through storm and flame, we have an okay time.

Go for the Crab Lady.

>>8219635

Good forum roleplaying should be entertaining to others.

Many roleplayers on the chans forget this, and it turns into a circle jerk.

I could've done without the pretty much random pictures, I have to say. Otherwise good on you for having fun.

>>8219857
Here's some more. Archive this?

>>8219977

Yes, this must be archived.

>>8220014
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/8217602/

>>8219635
For the most part I've only played D&D. I'm part of a relaxed "use the game as a center piece to just hanging out and having fun" kind of group. I have played a few other games a bit, with various groups, and from what I've seen L5R players get the most into the roleplaying. I have no idea how they can do it with a setting like that and not instantly seem like raging tards, but damn they do it.

I think it's that it's all played with an air of class that does it. You can't fake classy, you have to get really into it and work it for it to go right.

WOODLY DOODLY

Now that I've got the "post a random picture because someone complained about it" out of my system, I have two quick questions: I'm interested in playing L5R, but no one around here plays it. What is the best place to start and how do I introduce the idea without someone going "herp derp weeaboo" and rejecting it right off the bat?

>>8220849
The one book for the RPG has a surprising amount of background stuff in it.
The way to get non-weeaboos interested is to play up the samurai angle. "You like Kurosawa movies, right? It's like that. It's not like anime, I swear."

>>8220990
There's only one book?

I thought there were multiple editions and such.

>>8221080
Indeed, and multiple books for each edition.

What's more, there's a new one coming out soon

>>8221080
Ya, there's a few editions. I was talking about the Third Revised edition, which I think is the newest one. But they never retcon anything, so historical information in any book or card you find will be good.

>>8221125
My position is: I've heard a lot about the game, never played it. I want to know what I need to get ahold of to start a game with my group.

>>8221160
The Third Edition Revised core book has all the necessary info for players and DMs. Aside from that you just need a bunch of d10s. The core resolution mechanic involves rolling fistfuls of d10s and adding together some given number of the best ones.

You'll never need more than ten d10s, which is quite a few dice, but at least it's not Exalted or what have you.

>>8221185
Alright, third edition core revised. Already have plenty of dice.

So, only one book is all I need? I'd like a hardcopy too, but it's time for me to check /rs/.

>>8221297
You're going to need to find the errata as well. That books is... poorly proofed. Still though, it's a good game.

>>8221317
Is that an online thing like Wizards does?

I'm not going to lie: I've almost only played D&D so far. I'm just now looking into branching out.

http://doushite.co.uk/scrapbox/L5R/3ER%20Errata%20(150409).pdf for the errata.

Depending on what you want to play you may also want one or two of the splats.

Anyone have Emerald Empire (the 3e one, not the 1e core), Creatuers of Rokugan (again, 3e, not d20), Masters of Magic, and/or Fealty and Freedom they'd be willing to rapidshare? Or a link to a torrent or something? Particularly Emerald Empire would be great...

>>8221297
I tried /rs/ but it keeps giving me blank pages. I'm going to assume it's an issue with my browser. My roommate needs to stop fucking with my computer.

Is there any chance anyone here would be nice enough to grab the link for me? I'd really appreciate it.

>>8222043

I don't believe the 3e core book on /rs/ is the revised version. Would a link to a torrent be of use?

Well, I gotta go. http://isohunt.com/torrent_details/131184825/?tab=summary should be the correct book.

Oh man! I hope I got here in time. Don't go for the lady from the Spider Clan she's-

*looks around at the carnage*

Oh... never mind. You guys got it handled.

>>8218143
You do not understand the Scorpion clan very well, do you?

Shiba, let me ask you this: Do you like the idea of your rivals being conveniently disposed of, without effort or liability on your part?

>>8221297

Wait on it. 4th is coming out in a month or two and is supposedly SO CASH.

Hey, Spiders can be clean too. They're a lot more interesting than RARR ZOMBIE.

>>8224192
see
>>8218798
Already taken care of.

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS MURDER

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS ALWAYS MURDER.

>>8218880