>>8134925

why would a centaur need pants?

>>8135011
Why do people need pants?

why.... is it centaur horo?

>>8135024

Because UNPLEASANT BODY HAIR.

DAT LYRCA!

>>8135036
soucer?

Im a little curious as to how she got it on.... seeing as its a one piece with no zip or anything.

>>8135129
Magic.

>>8135129

I'm guessing zipper is on top, and we can't see it from here...either that or those are some VERY stretchy pants.

>>8135029
?

>>8135129

Zipper's along the back: you can't see it from this angl-

OH GOD WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT THIS

>>8135172
maybe the carrot needs to be an apple...

>>8135036
sauce?

>>8134925
The hilarious thing: in a sprint?

Two legs wins.

Fuck you, horse.

Fuck you.

Why is that monster not on mark?
Why is it eating?


That's it, it has to be disqualified from the race, fucking cheating monsters.

>>8135201
Ever tried outrunning a police dog?

>>8135201
except humans are shitty sprinters. We're long distance runners.

>>8134925
I don't know why, but I find that bored, nonplussed expression to be incredibly arousing.

I have not the slightest idea why.

>>8135209
Also what kind of fucking marks are everyone else using?

Faggy ones.

I bet that fucking horse is to blame.

I mean, christ.

WHY IS THIS BORED CENTAUR HORO SO GODDAMN SEXY?

I'M NOT AROUSED BY FUCKING MONSTER GIRLS.

THIS IS HERETICAL. AND WRONG.

I must purge myself.

>>8135212
>>8135211

In experiments, human sprinters consistently outran horses over a short distance. It takes horses too long to short their shit out and get up to speed.

Horses racing humans?

Send in Huw Lobb

Co-species schools are always underfunded. The thing is, schools in residential zones of high mythic population tend to tend to have poor performance and results because of the additional challenges most mythics face in adjusting.

Do you know how much money it costs just to make a school accessible for a Hind like a centaur? A student with a broken leg from trying to navigate a stairwell isn't aceing exams.

>>8135270
Source, because I think you're full of shit.

>>8135282

IT'S LIKE HARRY POTTER, BUT GOOD!

>>8135282
>Do you know how much money it costs just to make a school accessible for a Hind like a centaur?
Aren't most schools barrier-free by law now? Where's there some stairs, there's always a ramp nearby. Some schools have 3-4 elevators depending on size.

>>8135294
don't you mean "oddly sexy"?

Because her expression is doing bad things to my heart.

>>8135298
You try fitting a goddamn horse in an elevator.

>>8135283
A newspaper I read fifteen years ago. Hope that narrows it down for you, fucker.

>>8135306
All one needs is a chainsaw and a little imagination.

Good sirs, the only complaint I have about the post education system is that they do not have any raw meat options in their meal plans.

>>8135306
If it's a centaur-girl with human-level intelligence, it shouldn't be too bad. She probably won't get skittish.

It'd be a tough fit, depending on the model, but she could manuver herself in and out.

can we have the source on the curse from >>8135036?

>>8135270
That sounds like bullshit. I can only see that occurring when the humans get to use starting blocks and the horses not. Which, to be honest, is an unfair comparison.

>>8135305
For an extremely unlikely reason, I am inexplicably distracted by the... firm pants stretching over the... muscles... between the front legs.

Fuck.

I'll just say it.

DAT SHINE

>>8135282
...fuck, I'd read that. I bet the centaur is tsundere for main hero.

>>8134925
How did she put it on

>>8135270
If by short distances you mean like 10 feet ok.

>>8135175
See
>>8135347

>>8135327
You know how anxious centaurs get in places like that. Intelligence has nothing to do with it, and pretending it does is frankly insulting.

>>8134925
>>8135172
I find her expression to be endlessly sexy, but how the hell would you have sex with her in a meaningful way?

She's meant physically to take dicks longer than a man's arm, and thicker.

Sure, you could supposedly cuddle, hug, go on dates, but any attempt at sex is going to be a hot dog down, not a hallway, but the goddamn Marinaras Trench.

>>8135368
Yes, but she looks like a calm, tough girl. She wouldn't like it, but then everybody has their phobias. She'd still deal with it...in stride.

>>8135378
Get me my scuba tank.

>>8135378
She's not that big, I'm sure you could manage.

>>8135361
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

I like the looks on the faces of her competitors.

>>8135378
Where there's a will...

>>8135378
Well, you'd have to use strap-on. And a cart for said strap-on or hydraulic actuators.

>>8135397
She's still going to weigh close to a fucking metric ton.

Enjoy being crushed to death, when she rolls over while sleeping.

>>8135378
You get blowjobs, she gets some tender full-arm fisting.

>>8135410
But what a way to go.

>>8135378
Bro, I used to date a lamia. Mythics didn't bother me much, and I figured I could handle her. Then she cracked one of my ribs. We've barely spoken since.

Think carefully if it's worth it.

>>8135417
...Popping her cherry is going to be a scary experience. Wait, do horses even have hymens?

>>8135429
Solution: Body armor.

>>8135323
Look, no-one's stopping you from taking a cool-bag with raw meat in.

>>8135421
Equus polonus sum!

..fuck, now I'm imagining centaur-riding winger lancers.

>>8135433
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
if Khorne doesn't mind where it comes from

>>8135454
Slaanesh would dig it.

>>8135368
Then you go in with her and hold her hand. If she champs a bit, just hold tighter.

>>8135475
Oh gods even this centaur is tsundere. STOP /tg/. I DON'T WANT TO BE AROUSED BY MONSTER GIRLS

>>8135475
Oh god
WHO WRITES THESE THINGS

>>8135489
> I DON'T WANT TO BE AROUSED BY MONSTER GIRLS

Its too late. Its too late for all of us. ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

>>8135489
I like micegirls, personally.

>>8135503
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I WON'T LET YOU HAVE ME

>>8135475

Well now I got an errection going.

Are you going to seal the deal with me here /tg/?

>>8135036
source:
WFRP 2ed Tome of Corruption

>>8135507
Huh? He did micegirls? I guess he did new ones since I last saw it on /f/?

>>8135515
No. Go onto /dammit/, wait patiently and watch.

You'll receive further instructions there.

We can fap to everything.

Nothin' new 'ere...

>>8135475
....

Anyone got any more of these?

>>8135529
yes, there's probably over a dozen by now.

>>8135519
I... am not sure. I was just making a random-ass statement that could've been responded to with a lot of shit. Monty Python, Chem-rat, dat FF race...

unfff

do want

>>8135529

>>8135417
...How do you "tenderly" go fisting your girlfriend?

>>8135556
>or she might start digesting me!

What's your opinion on mythic welfare? A large hind is going to eat up to twice the food of a normal human after all, and mythics are usually marginalized in some other ways by society.

>>8135573

You act as if that shouldnt be expected from a slime girl.

>>8135516
...bear?

BEAR?!

>>8135587
yes, you can walk around with a bear ass.

>>8135580
Yes, but they can process cellulose. They can eat plants that we can't to supplement their diet. It's a bit demeaning, but if you're on welfare, you shouldn't be choosy.

>>8135604
I "squee"-d.

I feel like a failure.

>>8135593
You could rear up on your hind legs, and maul someone with your front ones, while shooting them.

>>8135604
The guy looks fucking insane in all of these. Look at his eyes.

yep. clear sign of corruption.
you wake up Bear assed

>>8135625
They're not the same guy, they're all brothers. They all want dat monster ass.

>>8135605
The government should really do something about this prejudice against the predatory mythics. Honestly the age of predation has ended, we live in a civilized society where every mythic species should be treated as equals.

>>8135604
Didn't that Leman Russ namefag say he could masturbate and lick it all up?

>>8135645
There's a place for all of God's creatures, and it's right beside the mashed potatoes.

>>8135618
Man, this just rocks so hard.

>>8135489

Well of course, she's a tsuntaur.

>>8135645
And the natural predisposition to antisocial behavior among some predatory types?

I mean you're probably a really nice guy, but I wouldn't feel safe as a neighbor. I have kids and a pet.

>>8135686
I have pills for that!

>>8135695
What you need is a muzzle and mittens.

>>8135323
>>8135323

Should have went to my school, good Sergalfag, the shit they served was raw occasionally.

>>8135713
Infringement on my constitutional rights as a mythic citizen.

>>8135695
Could you even be said to be you while in such a chemical induced lethargic stupor?

is this a porn thread that sergal is trolling or an OC thread he's contributing to? I can't tell.

>>8135724
There isn't anything in the constitution about mythical creatures, you have no rights. Now get back to work, slave!

>>8135713
Yeah, I mean, I'll admit I'm not too keen on them either, but that's straight up speciest.

>>8135282
>>8135298
>>8135323
>>8135429
>>8135580
>>8135605
>>8135645
>>8135686

I like how this pseudo-setting is shaping up.

>>8135732
The monster girl thread kind of fizzled, so now it's just tripfags and segalfag.

>>8135730
Better than him eating my dog or attacking one of my kids when I'm away because he was bored and felt like some "sport".

We don' take kindly ta yer kind 'round 'ere, Seygal.

>>8135639
And I don't blame them.

>>8135733
I live in the first world, bro.

>>8135604

Huh, haven't seen that one before.

>>8135743
You have thumbs and guns - use them! If you stick your thumb in the gun, well, you're doin' it wrong and Darwin's gonna getcha.

>>8135733

Oh god, it's one of those anti-mythic Humanity's Friends assholes again.

>>8135736
No, because it's for him and his psychotic tendencies towards rape and murder, specifically.

>>8135700
could we possibly get the uncensored one?

>>8135761
Ah, bullshit. You'd say the same thing about black people. Back that claim up with some hard fucking science.

>>8135730
Could you even consider transgenders to be themselves while their in such a chemical induced lethargic stupor from their hormonal treatments?

I do what I must to be a law abiding and respected citizen to society.

>>8135733
Of course all mythics have rights! That was why the last inter dimensional civil war was fought!

>>8135745
You and people like you are the reason why I don't vote for the conservatives.

>>8135556
>>8135604
>>8135611
>>8135700
>>8135735
>>8135755
These things make me d'awwww and feel incredibly dirty and unnatural at the same time.

>>8135757
Actually I'm just in mexico. With all the damn chupacabra running around killing all the live stock, slave labor is about the only way to keep food production up.

>>8135767
I'm not talking about race, I'm talking about him, specifically.

Every damn time, tch.

I've yet to make an Omnifapper Seal of approval.

>>8135789
Why doesn't Mexico switch over to necromantic economy system like what the Russians and some parts of Europe have done?

It solves a lot of the labor problems.

>>8135804
Like the US, our education system isn't good enough to support studies into magic.

>>8135804
Do you draw each of those Rain pics or did you just find a big cache of them somewhere?

Dear gentlemen, can you not see what is going on? Are you really that dimwitted?
These filthy... Things! They are stealing jobs from us, polluting and weakening the supreme human race. I demand better conditions for humans, not these theiving rodents.

>>8135804
It's a ticking bomb. Give it a few decades and they'll have another exclusion zone filled with things that won't stay dead.

>>8135804

You need to import the necromancers, have them spend years teaching others, find some bodies from relatives who want to part with their dearly beloved, etc. In essence, time and energy.

Why can't people give up the thing they hold sacred and exploit it for cool plastics?

>>8135816
More Humanity First fascists...

>>8135841
Nothing wrong with a little fascism now and then. Just look at the state of the world, we are in dire need of lebensraum.

>>8135817
Nonsense! Every responsible necromancer sends his quarter-old bodies to the furnace. At that point most common necromancers experience difficulties keeping the bodies moving. It's better to assign them as fuel for power generation and just raise a new body.

>>8135808
I understand the American public education is lacking, however the post education system is the best in the world. I mean most of the greatest Magi in the world are conducting their rituals in US universities.

I just don't understand why America and most of the first world countries don't adopt a necromantic economic system, it is extremely profitable for everyone, sustainable, and the US keeps thousands of criminals jailed for life or on death row in its prisons. It's a win-win situation.

I should get a set of reaction images...regardless.

Humanity already has pristine conditions, we are simply bringing everyone up to our level. Then you get to bitch about makeing the conditions for humanity even better but at the same time, you'd have to think of raiseing up everyone elses.

>>8135856
I don't have anything against it, I just don't want anyone I know walking around. After I've seen them leave and all that. It just feels wrong, and we're doing fine without it.

>>8135880
that's why you raise them as a skeleton instead of a zombie

>>8135880
There are already basic methods of preventing that. All qualified necromancers have the bodies transported several hundred miles away from the location it lived, and shaved before rising them. Uniforms and masks are also used.

>>8135856

Must I remind you of the 1843 Necromancer Scare when a thousand skeletons were taken over by a rouge Necromancer and led them amock till he was killed?

Some countries are still paranoid over the fact that it only takes a Necromancer a little bit of magic to overtake a undead corpse, and with today's Techno-Magi fusions becoming more common, you've got a chance for disaster.

>>8135856
You were defeated last night in yugioh. That means you have to leave forever and take your sock puppets with you.

>>8135932
requesting uncensored

>>8135776

DId I ever tell you about the time I watched a Sergal get mauled to death by pissed-off Mokk?

Jesus, and I though YOU guys were violent. I didn't have my camera, but maybe I can draw you a picture sometime.

>>8135932
Traced.

>>8135939
>Mokk

Wait what?

What do you do for a living Sergal?

How old are you?

>>8135755
This one will always be my favorite because he has no idea she's getting off to a bath with him.

Also armored gloves on a vag must be amazing.

>>8135925
Really? Do tell.

>>8135939
for some reason I read that as "pissed off Mork"...
my version is better than yours

>>8135967
Umm, no. They wouldn't be.

>>8135866
I beg to differ, yes you humans are generally doing a good thing by raising the standard of living of most mythics. However we are not humans, we do not interact the world like a human can.

Using me as in an example, since I am a carnivorous predatory mythic with a over specialized digestive tract, and my species evolution and because of mutations in my species genes; I am unable to digest most stable plant based foodstuffs, and I am unable to taste "sweetness" from sugars.

And because I am covered in fur, I gain a thick coating during winter and molt during the summer seasons, I must take monthly flea dip baths as described by the mandatory UN code of mythic and human relationship protocols and I must document each bath on my mythic citizen card or I would be faced with charges and arrested. Because my fur when severely dirtied contains many alien parasites and bacteria harmful to humans, I must keep my fur clean at all times when in contact with other humans, or I would be quarantined into my own home.

But this is the price you pay for living in civilization.

>>8135983
>>8135983
>>8135983
what do you do for a living in real life?

how old are you?

>>8135959

Think troll, but with a squid head and tripartite jaws filled with hundreds of shark teeth. And black eyes.

Dead, black eyes.

Like a doll's eyes.

>>8135991
Good sir, why do you wish for me to break my anonymity on a anonymous image board?

What about Unicorns ?

>>8136004
wouldnt be the first time people have done it - im curious.

>>8136001
>>8135968
these intrigue me... what the shit are they from??

>>8135983
whoa whoa whoa... documenting bathing on pentaly of arrest? Shit, where you living at? I didn't know some places had gotten that irate over mythic personal-care requirements. I mean, where I'm from, as long as the medusae keep their dark glasses on and the centaurs do their business in the proper stalls instead of in the road, most folks don't get so nitpicky.

>>8136009
...so someone gives a shit ?

>>8136004
We're not after your name bro, and it's not like the crazies here are trying to find you burn down your home. You just seem very educated and well spoken for a sergal, no offense.

>>8136008
someone get that translated now

>>8136015
someone may be curious enough to know what kind of an upbringing produced this kind of delusional sexual deviant - what kind of job he's able to hold down - his history of mental illness - his upbringing and relationship with his parents.

Call it academic curiosity. I don't understand him and want to. He's not normal even by /tg/ standards. I want to understand WHY

>>8136010

I don't know. I think from an old comic book. My GM likes them, I'll ask at tomorrow's game.

>>8135983
This pretty much seals the deal that sergalfag sockpuppets as scared of shadows.

>>8136027
anyone with a high school grasp on the english language can speak like sergal does. It is a pretension of intelligence. The reason he does it is baffling though.

He trolls /tg/

>>8136039
>academic curiousity

bullshit, you're just being a nosy troll. Why not tell us about your job, family life, and psychological profile? Oh, too personal? Then shut the fuck up.

>>8136039
Hey now. From everything he's said, he seems to be an upstanding citizen. at least for a mythic. Nothing to suggest he's a sexual deviant.

>>8136027
Fine good sir, I am in my 20's, I am currently living in Canada, and my job is that of a lazy procrastinating college student.

Is this answer satisfactory?

>>8136014
Yes, some places are more liberal then others on Earth, but its bearable, its much better then living in the frozen tundra hunting prey with nothing but your natural appendages, dying miserably and living brutally short lives right?

>>8136060
why are you defending a furry fuck? piss off moralfag.

>>8136046
I'm cool with the less furry and scaly monster girls but fuck you.

Fuck you and your spiders.

>>8136060
Ego nihil sum.

>>8136071
Give me a fucking break.

Look, I'm a fucking polar bear, and if you can't man the fuck up then I suggest you go back to whatever shithole planet you came from. You don't see me getting harrassed for not being human, do you?

I thought not.

>>8136042
nope, http://www.hentai-foundry.com/profile-Raji.php

>>8136102
Fucking polar bears, take your global warming propaganda somewhere else, you're not welcome on /tg/.

>>8136081
I met an arachnophobe who told me he didn't have a problem with driders because they were so big. All the extra weight and slower motion, they don't move like a normal little spider.

Have you actually met one in person, or are you just spouting speciesist shit from the comfort of your suburbia home like so many other people here?

>>8136102
Hey hey! My parents brought me here, from the pan dimensional planes, to get me the best life possible! And I think its a worthy personal sacrifice to live in a place where you're receive the best education out of all the dimension planes, highest standard of living, and to be able to freely express your ideas and believes.

>>8136111
That's like saying every damn panda is a poster boy for chastity, you know that, right?

Or like me saying you're one of those anti-seal-hunting bastards.

Which you'd better not be.

>>8136142
Fuck you spiderboy, it's guys like you and those abominations that led brought this country to this state.

Fucking thieves and rapists, all of you.

>>8136144
Yeah, but you don't see me talking shit about your homeland.

Some of us LIKE the fuckin' cold. And frankly, adaption's half of the fuckin' hurdle. You don't see me bitching about warmer temperatures, do you?

>>8136174
how pigheadedly ignorant. you probably even believe those retarded claims drow shit live spiders.

>>8136147
Fucking anti-seal hunters, fishermen deserve an alternate source of income. It's not like the pests are endangered or anything.

Also you may not be one, but I'd feel a whole lot better if you went back to Polebearia.

one good thing about living in northern canada.
not a single dam lizard or lamia everything else I can deal with, but scales creep me out.

>>8136209
never had any dragons in your community?

God damn non humans, have at you!

>>8136194
Don't give me that talk you bastard. I know what those things can do. What they did to my son !

So don't give me that hippie shit after the police had to drag his dehydrated corpse from one of their cocoons !

>>8136205
If you've got a problem with me, man, say it to my face.

Or maybe you'll just shit yourself at the sight of half a tonne of angry bear.

>>8136229
who are you trying to fool? You're clearly half-ogre.

>>8136187
God damn Neo-traditionalists!

That's not the point! Humans are spreading towards all the dimensional planes, their developing cities and high tech infrastructure is the status quo. Sooner or later, your homeland and habitat is going to be modernized and you'll going to be forced to live in civilization interacting with humans to make a honest living. Remember War World 1 and 2? The Elf Massacre of 1914? Or the Kender Holocaust of 1936?
If you can't beat, join them. This is why only the mythic lobby that is doing well in politics are the liberal modernists

>>8136245
You're "kind" is a bad influence on the neighbourhood, you drive down property prices and we can't have our kids running around any longer.

>>8136264
but don't you worry you'll lose your traditional culture as you're forced into human society?

To non humans, stay away from our lands. We might be called "barbarians" but we still honour our proud human heritage.

>>8136299

Hey, it's that guy!

How did the rest of the standing around quest go?

>>8136279
Western culture is like Rome. It takes the best things from other cultures it encounters and adds them to its collective like a memetic Borg collective.

>>8136209
what you never seen a lizardfolk with a sweater before?

>>8136264
Look, you furred raptor bastard. I LIKE cities, alright? You don't get people shooting your goddamn dinner from under your nose and there's much better fuckin' internet.

You tried to get a signal up north?

>>8136299
Barbarian means foreigner, nitwit.

>>8136308
You must've mistake me for someone else, good Anon. I don't know of this standing around quest.

>>8136209
that sucks man, you're missing out

>>8136279
I reconnect, with my traditional roots by going to annual predator hunting conventions. Canada is a beautiful country with a lot of recreational parks set up for mythics to get in touch with their more wilder natures. Its a proven fact that a mythic that is cooped up in a cubicle for the rest of his life will drive a mythic crazy into depression, suicide and long list of other negative social implications.

>>8136347
That happens to humans too.

>>8136268
If it's about the bloodstains, what I do on my property is my own goddamn business. I don't go barging in and bitching to you when you start doing weird shit, do I?

You know I haven't killed anyone. I'd have the goddamn riot police and animal control on my goddamn tail faster than you could say "holy shit that fucking bear just killed someone."

>>8135959
Mokk are basically fairy Sergals.
Very cute and grumpy.

>>8136314

That is so freaking retarded. You're coldblooded. What 'heat' are you giving off for the sweater to insulate?

What is this shit /tg/? What is this?! Are the damned organics complaining again?

Fuck it. Give me a gun, I'm a professional.

>>8136347
>Its a proven fact that a mythic that is cooped up in a cubicle for the rest of his life will drive a mythic crazy into depression, suicide and long list of other negative social implications.
this could be said for many humans as well.
also i always like it when those conventions come to town here, although i dont head out into the forest for my hikes when their here a lot of them get upset when a "noisy" human comes stomping past and scares off the deer they have been stalking for the last 3 hours.

>>8136388
Shut your mouth, Talkie.

Or you want me to claw that smug smile off your grill?

We'll see who folds first.

>>8136388
Don't worry guys, I'll stab it with my fork!

>>8136361
True, but a mythics literally go into a murderous primal rage killing everyone in vicinity until he/she/it is incapacitated, or everyone in vicinity dies.

>>8136406
>True, but a mythics literally go into a murderous primal rage killing everyone in vicinity until he/she/it is incapacitated, or everyone in vicinity dies
again humans have done this before to.
just not as often.

>>8136388
but you can't hold a gun, you have no hands

>>8136400
Now you've done it! Honey, bring me the copper plates. I'm gonna feed this punk some hot metal myself.

>>8136384
You really are sheltered. It's an electric sweater, they have little heater elements inside it for the cold blooded mythics like lamias and lizards.

>>8136424
When humans do it, metal starts flying.

>>8136406
Sure, YOU might, you whacked-out lizard.

I only get that pissed when I've had too much to drink and start arguing politics. And that doesn't happen often. You know how much it costs for me to get drunk?

I might not be as fuckin' mythic as the rest of you, but goddamn, learn some fuckin' self control.

>>8136438
Oh god. Humanoid-sized electric carpets that the terrarium guys use. SWEET! But..where does she carry the batteries?

>>8136406
And the raping desires, how do you deal with that?
Going on a rape trip in Indonesia?

>>8136458
Porn, a lot of porn.

>>8136474
Speaking of porn, I heard in the news Australia banned halfling porn. Is this discrimination?

>>8136490

Feels more like profiling, since its basically profileing halfings as children.

>>8136438
Man, my friend could have used one of those last week. He looked like he was about to hibernate there and then in class and he was my ride. I had to remind my professor that it's school policy to heat the classroom to 20 centigrade for classes containing cold blooded students.

>>8136510
Does he have a birthday coming up?

>>8136490
Those fuckin' halflings.

Those motherfuckers bitch at me because I'm in their way, or when I accidentally bump into them, or when I break their feet because I can't see where they're standing..

>>8136474
With all the pervs around you'd think dating agences would exist.
Like in "rapemonster looks for submissive xenophile" kinda ads.

>>8136510
Oh, don't get me fucking started on hibernation.

Just because I'm pretty much physically unable to work a portion of the year most companies pro-rate my goddamn pay. It's hard enough getting work as it is, but I mean they're just kicking me when I'm down.

Not that you'd want to kick a polar bear.

Not if you want to keep your goddamn leg.

>>8136535
Heavens forbid, I am into porn, however I would only have sex with members of my own species.

>>8136535

Standard human internet is good enough.

>>8136535
I saw one of those in the paper yester. Granted, my friend was very pleased with it, and followed up. She has a thing for orcs. Dunno why.

Though I'm worse, I'm sure. Been looking for a succubi...

>>8136535
The fantasy's never as good as the reality.

I mean, someone thinks you're just kinda chubby by your description and when they find out you're half a tonne of muscle and fat suddenly, they ain't interested.

Stick with your own species, man.

>>8136530
It was in September, I got him some of those reuseable heating pads but some dick stole them that day as a joke. I did get him a sweater but I forgot he had no body heat to be kept insulated anyway.
Definitely next birthday.

>>8136572
>Been looking for a succubi...

you poor bastard

>>8136593
That's a problem? My cousin's got a thing for british giants, I swear by now you could park a car in her vagina.

>>8136569
You racis?

>>8136569
what's that, human girls not good enough for you?

>>8136617
No good sir, I am just a stickler to tradition.

>>8136593
I know I shouldn't be. I really shouldn't, but damn they tease and tempt you...

>>8136577
It's even worse with the "species posers". You know the type. The people who try to pass themselves off as dragons, or other self-loathing creatures that try to be something else.

It's kind of sad.

>>8136611
Good lord. At least I stick with my same size...most of the time.

someone better archive this

Last spring when I was cleaning my attic I found a god damn vampire, this a problem for anyone else? They keep nestling deep in there.

Dammit, where did that punk go? I turn around for a second and the bastards flee. Well keep running you fools, I'm just warming up!

>>8136670
dont make me sell you to a pawn shop

>>8136669
At least you can reach your goddamn attic.

I've probably got everything under the sun up there, and I can't do a thing about it without paying through the fuckin' nose.

>>8136669
Call the Twilight League, they take care of that professionaly. trying to get rid of them by yourself can result in aquiring blood-borne deceases or sparkling.

>>8136640
the worst one are those "goths" who try to pass themselves off as vampires.

Oh yeah, sure you're a vampire. Sure, you're 250 pounds, are scarfing down your third chilidog in the past half-hour, and made sure not to miss the midday sale at Hot Topic, but you're SO totally one of us.

I'd be offended if they weren't so ridiculous.

>>8136669
Where do you live? The vampires I know of pay rent.

>>8136669
tell em to start paying rent.

>>8136490
Of course it is. Australia is an evil hellhole, always has been.

>>8136669
Sprinkle some garlic salt up there about once a month going into the fall, and during the winter. Should keep your attics clear all winter.

Or you could invest in some expanded dormers so there's more natural light, but that's not really feasible for most folks. Does help with the resale value though

>>8136695
>>8136696
rentmind

These guys have the right idea. Clean the attic out, make him pay rent.

>>8136631
You are a useless piece of shit and invertebrate scum.

>>8136669
The neighbours had a pair. They asked me to smack them out of the neighbourhood. That was... three months ago I think. I'm not sure. I'm getting rusty after all these years. And before you youngins go asking, I served your fathers 3 meals a day during the war. You better realize they wouldn't have survived a week without that.

>>8136680
Then who is going to make you breakfast, sonny? Who?

>>8136692
Sometimes I wish all I had to deal with were twats trying to look hard by ordering raw seal. But no, you've got the posers that wear fake animal costumes. I mean, why fuckin' bother? They wouldn't last five minutes on these paws, let me tell you.

What the hell is happening in this thread?

>>8136712
What if he keeps on bringing virgins in? Once I've had a vampire roommate in the uni. Fucker was bulimic of all things, he'd go on those huge sucking sprees, and spare not even the landwhales, and then he'd barf it all back. TWENTY GALLONS OF FUCKING BLOOD,SOME OF IT ALREADY CONGEALING! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST , THE BATHROOM STANK LIKE A FUCKING MORGUE FOR WEEKS!

>>8136723
I'll eat my fuckin' bread raw, you jumped up waste of metal.

>>8136733
GET OF MY LAWN BEFORE I TURN YOU INTO A CHRISTMAS TREE!

>>8136729
Let me guess. Gnoll, living somewhere in mexico?

>>8136695
I have no idea, the place keeps moving around.

>>8136746
I'd like to see you try, motherfucker!

>>8136766
Come and get it kid. I'll show you that these rusty plates of mine can still kick your ass. Come on!

Hey Marty Changs, there's a giant eating my cows. What do I do?

>>8136804
What, he's sneaking in at night? Don't you have a gun?

>>8136804
Call the cops. I mean, he's stealing your property, so get his ass arrested.

I had a dryad set up her home about 100 meters from my camp, the place is fucking beautiful now. but now its a pain in the ass to heat the place because I cant get any firewood from around my camp now.

>>8136821
Man he's suddenly there and then he vanishes, by the time I shoot I only hit my own cows.

Soo, any wenches for a stud like me?

>>8136828
thats nothing I had a tribe of those "traditionist" elves set up a village near my camp. they are the most unpleasent people you have ever met.
never in my life have I been so tempted to start a forest fire.

>>8136899
Depends on what kind of stud you are.

I'm surprised you know who hasn't shown up to this thread yet. Maybe they really are the same person?

>>8136956
God, even I hate those guys. I was brought up in the suburbs and the only other elf family in my block were traditionalists. The kid was pretty much was forced on me because to them socialising with humans and any race that "doesn't respect the sanctity of nature" is unheard of.

So I had to play with this weird kid and ONLY at his house, I say house it was more of a tree fort. He was so dull and all he talked about was nature and i got enough of that shit when my dad wants to go camping every summer. I was glad when it was over when I brought my gameboy and "corrupted" their kid. They moved away a few months later. Good riddance.

>>8137016
bizarrely even sergalfag was well behaved when he did show.

On one hand, it's not easy to do this sort of thing. You've got mandatory inspections of your health, including a full work up, which you have to do monthly. "So many diseases can be in a strange body" they say, "We have to make sure."

A needle in the arm, a scraping of skin and tongue, a few drops of piss, they use it to test, and my quota is done for the month. It's an inconvenience, much like mandatory bathing every other day - which has killed any build-up of any natural oils that makes my scales dry out faster than normal.

But, again, it's an inconvenience. It cannot compare to living in the civilized world. The modern medicine, the protection, the ability of expression embraced on a scale that not even the ancient empire of my own people could compare to. The freedom of thought, the self-control asked of people, the ability to walk down a street and not be avoided like a disease or monster.

No, that's something I would endure far more for. It's difficult, but it's so very worth the trouble - it's a wine sweet and a meal fresh. It's called civilization, in a world of miracles modern and miracles mundane.

I call it home.

>>8137073
oh man traditionalists from any mythic species are trouble where ever they are in human society.
remeber those first couple months of the human/mythic student exchange program.
you would think someone would have thought that giving the mythics a quick course on human laws and customs.

>>8137330
Twenty years ago it was a little different, of course. What do you do with a tribe of the Sissihiri, what you call Lizard-folk, armed with our great sabers, suddenly arrived in the middle of down town LA?

First they disarmed us - then they shackled us - then they put us in warm prison cells and debated about us. Then they asked us what we eat, it was pretty easy to speak between us. You'd be amazed how common the Latin-rooted tongue is across the planes. And they fed us. Oh, it was a meal fit for kings - and it was given freely. Meat, such meat, sweet and fresh for a kings plate, and offered to all of us equally. I was a youngling at that time - just barely out of the egg, but I was given what I could eat - and I ate it savagely. Nothing ever tasted as good as that meal.

"Where do you come from?"

"Why are you here?"

"Who are you?"

"What are you?"

So many questions. We were too big a scene, at that time, before the coming of the elves, of the revealing of dragons, and of the Gnoll Incident, for them to hide us away or claim we didn't exist. Too many Youtube.com videos existed of our arival. We were known, and that meant we wouldn't disapear too quickly.

>>8137436
oh god dont even remind me of that.
i was only on the LAPD for a week when you guys showed up.
people running and screaming everywhere, the military showing up.
it was a fucking nightmare.
but it could have been worse. my partner is one of your kind, best dam cop I have ever worked with.

>>8137393
>>8137489
What the hell are you doing here? I told you last time, only my wife and I live here. Get lost before I call the cops on you.

>>8137436
I suppose it's a bit ironic, when the UCLA took our case, and there were protests for and against our release.

On one hand, and I don't blame them for this, we were new, and we were scary. We had big fucking bodies, and we were about as quick as they were - given we didn't have their education or emphasis on 'mind over mater'. We were scary looking, and that church, what was it? Before it combusted into flames and a mass suicide with the reveal of the Great Dragons? The one that protested soldier funerals? Whoever, they said we were: "A sign of the end times!"

Just like everyone in those days.

After a few years in custody, most of which was for our safety, we were given a chance to meet with officials, who wanted to offer us a homestead - in the drier parts of arizona, utah, and good part of the southern half of their country.

They needed the good press due to a few bad decisions back in their day, and what better way than showing a kind gesture, right? The only price was that we'd have to express thanks and try not to get into any trouble.

Reading beneath the lines - they had their hands full with some other trouble and wanted to clear away something not dangerous for something that was very dangerous.

We took the offer - and, I can proudly say the arival of a part of my clan in Alabama raised the collective IQ from two tin-cans and a rock to four tin cans and a pebble.

The view of some, that 'If it ain't human it ain't right' can be true for some places - and I've had my fights where I was jumped by those inbred hicks, but, southern Alabama isn't that bad. It's got a lot of secrets, and it has a lot of problems, sure, but they made us welcome, so long as we kept to ourselves, and didn't get in anyones business.

It was fair, all together. We asked the same, and got along amicably.

>>8137514
As a whole, and as it's been carried down, we have three rules for our people, that are basicly 'Must Do'.

"Be Honorable to Yourself, Your Kin, and Your Lord"

"Show mercy where it is due, show justice, where it is due"

"Think before Acting"

Yeah. We do what we can.

>>8137613
>I can proudly say the arival of a part of my clan in Alabama raised the collective IQ from two tin-cans and a rock to four tin cans and a pebble.
surprisingly enough lizardfolk are masters of obsevational humor

>>8137670
We are pretty good at playing dumb.

Too good, in some cases. My father, bless his hide, could wise crack hard enough to throw out your spleen.

>>8137680
With all due respect to the great actors past and present...

Aint no Sissihiri going to be dumb enough to act in a Hollywood movie.