I want to cum in her nose

It's going to be awful.

You may think it will be good. It won't take long to realize it's terrible and your entire group hates it.

But, if you're lucky or have half a brain in your head (we'll go with lucky here), you'll figure out what your players liked and dislike (crazy idea, talk to them as equals), learn something and it will get better.

Dem ears

>>7985622

she hiss at penis

>>7985592
Be sure to ask them for suggestions on what they liked/disliked.

Basically good communication and letting them have fun is key, and its okay to fudge a few rolls for the sake of fun.. I threw in one very comical three ones in a row during a fight, had them laughing the rest of the night over how random giant scorpion stung himself in the back of the head and killed itself.

Make your BBEG a communist. It will set off the righteous fury in their hearts.

>>7985641
then i'll make her wear a gag, sheesh you people are so unimaginative

>/tg/ write my D&D game for me.

You have to bring something to the table, kid. What setting are you using, what theme is the game, what power level do you want, do you expect the players to actively engage or want to be lead around by the nose, what sorts of D&D tropes does your group like?

I bet she likes to take it in the ass until she bleeds.

I'd like to service her asshole as it bleeds

Why is she in a Hardware store?

>>7985656
I play 3.5 and I'd like them to make their own story as they go you know, and have me loosely guide them, you know provide setting, basic story and evildoers etc. And it's typical adventure fantasy.

>>7985630
>>7985622
>>7985641
>>7985655
>>7985671
>>7985682
>>7985692
/D/M

>>7985622
Moarrr nose? ^)^

>>7985653
This made me laugh... I guffawed, uncontrollably.

NEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRD

RAPE HER UNTIL SHE CAN FIT 4 COCKS INTO HER ASSHOLE

THEN GET MORE COCKS

>>7985850

COCKS FOR THE COCK GOD
ASS FOR THE ASS THRONE

More nose for the weirdos.

>>7985850
Is this FATAL?

Do I have to make an anal circumference check?

>>7985850
.......

>>7985875
I want to strike that hard and true. For the Emperor of course.

>>7985982
I will allow this.

>>7986005
As you wish, glorious one.

Can I at least watch?

Annnyy other ideas? Aside from... rape.

>>7986105
Lawful hot dickings

>>7986177

Fine...

Make it basic. Someone asks players to kill an old man, supposedly an evil wizard/necromancer/whatever.

They do it, no problem at all, though he resists a bit and mumbles something about them making a mistake. After they kill him, they find out that he was maintaining the spell that had a demon trapped under his house.

Demon breaks out. Hilarity ensues.

>>7986309
Forgot to add.

Whoever hires them may or may not look like a nerdy wizard girl with sexy nose and may or may not be willing to pay by sexing the party paladin.

GOD NOSE!!!!

fap

>>7986309
Hmmm... I like ^)^

>>7986374
More nose please and I may think of something.

Other parts are also acceptable.

Expect combat to go very, very slowly, at least at first. If people don't know the rules all that well, they'll be stumbling over their own character sheets. If they don't know what's going on, they'll get bored and wander off and start texting or playing WoW or something, meaning that they'll get the game even less. Do not fall into this trap! Try and keep combat clipping along, otherwise it will be very boring. Which is a bit of a shame, because new players typically only like combat.

>>7986340
For your troubles.

>>7986434
Yeah, it's a mixed crowd, a few of them new. I do love combat but I think the role playing and storytelling and being able to make your own narrative is BY FAR the best part, but I don't think the newcomers in my group will grasp that :/ HELPFUL TIP though ^)^

>>7985712
I tried this with my first game. It doesn't always work as brilliantly as expected, especially with new players. Have a couple of things that can happen, like
>>7986309
and let them respond to them in their own way. If that leaves you with nothing, go for a new one, but if they've left some hooks, keep going until it spirals into something else. Keep an eye on whether they seem interested.
Alternately, they may be too interested in your nose to care. More of it, please.

>>7986511

If they're new, emphasize that they can do anything. Kids raised on video games these days subconsciously expect rails. When a player asks you, "Can my character do [blank]?" you should say yes within reason. Now, they might get drunk on it and say, "I kill the king!" or some stupid shit, but you should politely ask them "Are you really sure you want to do that?" I find that the biggest draw of roleplaying games is the freedom. Your character can do whatever you want it to, as opposed to video games where, by the nature of the medium, it can't account for every possible action the player can take. That's the advantage of roleplaying: the DM can think on his/her feet.

>>7986452

>>7986397
>>7986309
here. I accept the gift. Let's think.

If they are new to the DnD they will want lots of fights. And you shall give fights to them, but also show that DnD is more than your regular hack and slash. While your course of adventure will look like this:

Town>Exploration>Fight>Exploration>Fight

do try to give them choices of whom to side with for example. There may be two parties that are both "right" and players will have to pick a side.

At some point fights might get boring though. Drop something really strong on players then. Something so strong, they just can't fight it. Make sure they run away from it, that will change the pace quite a lot.

Don't implement any characters that resemble you, anyhow. Also, no overpowered NPCs or BBEGs.

As far as sandbox goes into account, don't make players "do whatever". Make sure they have at least one clear objective at any time. While for experienced players "You are in the city, do shit" may sound as delicious invitation to construct their own adventure, new players lack imagination and will get instantly bored. To counter that, have people approach them and ask them to do stuff (they will probably look like a party of people who get shit done, standing out of the crowd), and give them some metaobjective (find BBEG in the city, somehow).

To add to that, I weren't into noses, but now I am. Proceed.

>>7986575
I love you all ^)^

>>7986511
Mixed you say?

Well, since you've delivered nose, here goes more advise:

Suggest that experienced players take the role of leaders, as in "those guys who do the talking and decide where to go". New people tend to roleplay very little, sometimes not at all (lack of experience, shyness), so don't bother them much with it. However, if you can make them roleplay just a bit if needed, you will go places as DM.

>>7986707
I am starting to fall in love. Any specific advise you need, delicious DM?

We need more detail on what your players (and you) like to see in adventures to help you better.

>>7986752

Are you sure you're not just trying to stalk the young lass?

"Ahem-hem. Yes, I need your home address and phone-number. To help. With DMing. Yes."

>>7986711
Thank you very much!

I would give you advice if I had ever DM'd before so instead I will give you a floating castle... ruin... thing...

>>7986869
Wow I am bad at typing. You can probably figure out what I meant to say.

>>7986796
Akhem...

I do agree that I wouldn't mind to give that precious lady some private DMing lessons, even though I am currently engaged in a healthy relationship with another female.

This is not the case however. My white knight sense is tingling and since delicious photos are being delivered, I am willing to provide any and all assistance I am able to.

7986752
Well I like conflicting stuff. Like last time I played the DM had two opposing parties like the city council wanted our heroes to exterminate a tribe of goblins on the outskirts of town but he also gave us an opportunity to hear the goblins side of the story rather than just running in and slaying the lot of them. And the goblins proved to be quite useful and helped us later in the quest. You know very involved, not just a static story and "come and go" NPCs. Kinda like how you can earn the Tusken Raiders's trust in KOTOR.

>>7986884

Japery aside, you do raise a valid point. A brief overview of the party would be useful to us so we can tailor advice, rather than handing out generalities.

>>7986869
You sir, are wonderful.

>>7986884
You just want all the nose for yourself.
>>7985592
While unique is all well and good, don't try to be TOO unique. Steal a little, and if Generica of Blandland turns out to be interesting to you and your players because of what you're doing with it, keep it.

>>7986919

Well, in that case, do that. Maybe have an adventure set in a large city on the outskirts of a much larger Empire. While the empire has brought them stability and prosperity, many wish to break free on principal and reform the republican system that they had previously. Emphasize the ambiguities, and point out that the empire isn't inherently evil or even bad; it's just in charge and people don't like that. Take it too far, though, and the republican movement becomes a bad thing. Have two sides struggling for dominance, and the players can be the ones to tip the balance, either ensuring the city remains with the empire or helping it get its freedom as an independent city-state.

>>7986919
Consider another plot twist. Make one of the party members a traitor or "rat". Make sure he is an experienced player who can handle it without telling everyone OOC.

He should have his own agenda and reasons on joining team.

Next thing players know, BBEG is right there, in their party.

Bump him few levels and/or reinforce with couple NPCs and let the epic battle begin!

>>7987051

Not so sure that this is a good idea. With an extremely experienced party, it makes for an excellent campaign, but if you have some new players you might want to avoid anything like this.

>>7987021
Oh exploitable. Make sure players see dickery and chivalry on both sides. There are good people and there are backstabbers, everywhere. That will tip players off balance and make it harder to decide which side to take.

>>7987081
This. Some epic stories can come out of convoluted twists and bizarre plot hooks, but it only ever works with experienced players. Keep good notes, and you can try making memorable earlier scenes part of an epic plot later on, when you're more comfortable with it.

>>7987021
SUPER LIKE!

You've all been INCREDIBLY helpful, a lot more so than I was expecting. Thank yas so much ^)^ Don't think I forgot about ze reward.

Ages passed since last nose was posted. Just saying.

Introduce a badass character that everyone will like. Not overpowered though, just down right awesome. Like an old wizard that has some funny hobby and is not even remotely arrogant as the usually are. Make him funny and quite helpful.

High chances are that players will love him and smile every time you mention him somehow.

Picture mildly related.

>>7987192

Of course, there should always be a third option. Maybe the party wants to just take over. Or maybe they want to set up a monarchy. Or maybe they like the peace, prosperity, and stability the Empire brings but wants more rights for the city, so they go to the capital to politic. Always be prepared for when your players do something completely unexpected, which they will. If you remain calm and unflappable, they might even think that you planned it all along.

>>7987271

>>7987261 here
You read my mind, lady. You will make a good DM if you do the same with players.

>>7987271

A wizard who has perfected the art of putting potion-effects into foods opens a patisserie. However, he has a problem finding just the right reagents! Are you a bad enough dude to find wyvern eggs? Should you succeed, his shop flourishes into a popular tourist attraction and he can become a party friend! Maybe he'll even give you magical croissants of healing as a reward.

>>7987261

We'll try and scare you off for the first 10-20 posts, but if you manage to make it that long we're very helpful.

Girl looks like a rat.

I HAVE A PICTURE OF ME IN THAT SAME HAT, OP :D

>>7987321
I suggested "badass" idea and I fully agree with that.

Party paladin: "Good sire, let me have the last cookie before you slay me"
BBEG: "Sure, whatever, fag"
*om nom nom*
Party paladin: ARHGGBHAHABFAHFARBGGBHGBRRRRR!!
Party paladin crits BBEG for 110.
BBEG dies.

>>7987345
Begone with you, spawn od darkness!

>>7987364
YOU ROCK THEN!

>>7987389
Shall I reward thee with more nose, noble knight?

>>7986112

Shameless cross promotion...

I am going to be running an online D&D session next monday and I need more players. IF you are interested go to that link for details.

Run a pre-made module adventure if you're really worried. There are tons of them for each edition. KotSF is pretty fun, so long as you add in some supplementary fluff and storybits towards the end.


Otherwise, pick an idea, and then go for a theme. In my current D&D Campaign, the Party was told to go help take care of Kobold Raiders, who they discovered to be serving a young Black Dragonling, who was the descendant of a Black Dragon killed nearby 60 years earlier. Ran similar to the Kobold Hall intro-adventure.

Which is all just a prologue. Because Black Dragons are creatures of Decay and become attracted to areas of dark magical energy. If my players are smart, they'll draw the connection once they discover Zombie hordes are tearing the local area to shreds.

Then they'll start asking "Okay, so what in the name of God is animating Zombies, and attracting black dragons?"

>>7987426
It was my pleasure and I don't ask for reward, my lady!

However, I am also not saying no.

How about an ancient fighter who's seen everything and killed everything, and knows the ins-and-outs of the adventuring business? He's everyone's crotchety grandpa put together, and he's constantly complaining that adventurers these days don't know how easy they've got it. What he secretly wants is to go on one last adventure, but he's too old and decreipt for it so he gripes at everyone about everything.

>>7987389
I didn't mean that in a bad way. I have a thing for mousy girls.

>>7987496
You are then forgotten sir.

Contribute to the thread!

>>7987523
I should really go to bed, I meant "forgiven" of course.

>>7987441
Sorry for the lack of nose, there were delicious potatoes downstairs that required eating.

>>7987531

You did what needed to be done. Why would anyone say no to delicious potatoes?

>>7987490
Awwwww, what a sad tale :(

>>7987553

With a silver lining! As the PCs put up with him, he softens up and takes a shine to them, and asks to go with them on one more adventure before he retires for good. Keep in mind that he should be very high level with somewhat low ability scores, so he's more capable in a fight than he gives himself credit for. What he didn't tell the party is that what he really wants is to die nobly in battle so that he can get to his warrior-heaven. The PCs can then either save him and convince him that his life is still worth living, or else let him die in battle nobly. Both are good ends for him.

>>7987597
There and Back Again...

I heard there was nose in here.

>>7987531
You are too kind. I shall try my best then.

Let's see.

Players arrive at small village. Apparently it is under long-term attacks by zombies. People are dissapearing.

When encountered, they act differently, mostly fleeing when opposed, trying to steal whatever food they can find.

Players find out (how? possibly a zombie with ability to talk somewhat) that zombies were cast out from their tomb by a cleric. If they choose to investigate, they find out that said cleric is sacrificing innocent villagers to achieve ultimate power. He states that it is the only way to prevent "evil that is about to come". Players may then side with cleric or zombies.

In a meantime, evil arrives, in whatever horrifying form you can imagine. Demons, monsters, whatever. If players sided with cleric, he stands with them to provide support (and he is quite powerful after the ritual). If players side with zombies, after defeating cleric, zombies open a tomb with many magical items for players and side with them as a small army to fight off the menace.

>>7986707
I just want to....touch you.

>>7987646
Oh dear....

There's a neutral lich living in a nearby tower that sends his grandson to the local school. He had a daughter before he became undead, and she married and started up a family. Her husband died while she was pregnant, and she herself died in childbirth. Now the Lich, moved nearby town so he can better take care of his last link with the mortal world, and his alignment shifted to neutral as a result. However, heroes from all over think that its all a trick and constantly try to kill the lich, much to his chagrin. He is growing worried for the child's safety. Can you escort him to school in the morning and protect him from misguided adventurers?

>>7987639
I likeee that :D

>>7987700
I wouldn't mind more pictures like this one: >>7986707

Saving to "DM Lady" folder for future generations and educational purposes of course. It's n-not that I s-stalk you or a-anything...

And you actually look very much like someone I know.

But I digress!

For purposes of alignment checks, Cleric is Lawful Neutral and zombies are Neutral Evil, but as close to True Neutral as possible. You may say that "they seem slightly evil, but not as you'd expect from undead". Zombies only really care about resting in peace, for tomb gave them ability to do so (magic aura, you don't have to eat or drink inside the tomb and you feel very tranquil).

ITT: why girls don't like to game with fa/tg/uys.

A young druid-in-training has come in from the wilderness to experience the hustle-and-bustle of city life to develop a greater appreciation for the serenity of nature. However, her mentor fears that she may enjoy the hustle-and-bustle just a little too much. He contacts the adventurers, and offers to reward them if they can convince her to return to the forest. When confronted, she seems abashed, but can't make up her mind. She really enjoys being in the city, but she also has developed an appreciation of nature and is one of the mentor's most promising students. Can you reach a compromise? Will you force her back into the forest? Will you tell her to stay in the city? Or will you do something off-the-wall like lobby the city council to create a new park for druids to live in?

>>7987848

I dunno. Apart from some initial trollery, we've been pretty helpful so far. And the creepiness is mostly self-referentially ironic. I hope.

>>7987869
>And the creepiness is mostly self-referentially ironic.
PRO TIP: this does not make it any less creepy.

>>7987848
>implying 95% of anons here would have courage to say creepy things to her IRL
>implying 30% of anons here would have courage to say anything to her IRL

Welcome to the /tg/

>>7987898
The very attitudes that create this kind of stupidity exist IRL, and not without effect.

>>7987894
I am sure our DM Lady perfectly understands what we did thar and loves us nevertheless.

The reason why girls are rare on /tg/ is because they are not as understanding as OP.

And yes, I'm still wearing my shining armor.

>>7987848
>>7987869
>>7987894
>>7987898
>>7987923

Hey, now. Let's not turn this into a flamewar. We've been coming up with some good ideas that I plan on nabbing for my campaigns myself.

>>7987894
I have no idea what is going on in this thread, but I saw this on the front page and it reminded me just how much I hate xkcd and its white-knighting, nerd-superiority complex, assorted bullshit and general wankery.

>>7987952
>white-knighting
You forgot weeaboo mary-sue furry.

>>7987948
>The reason why girls are rare on /tg/ is because they are not as understanding as OP.
>the problem is never my bad behavior, it's that other people aren't understanding enough

The most powerful sorceress in town is celibate, claiming to be married to Magic, which she personifies. However, her high charisma ensures that she has no end of erstwhile suitors. While you join in the throng to court her? Will you defend her honor? Or will you go off to fight a dragon in a dungeon somewhere? The choice is up to you!

>>7987949

Good dming is 20% planning and 80% freeform. the moment you have a plan of what you what players to do, you‘ll start compromising their freedom for the story. Have some things ready like “at some point they will be in a house that is being attacked by zombies”. But how the players get there, which house it is, and why is freeform. That way you'll have a funny, player driven story, but still be guaranteed dramatic moments. It also means you can have the stats for those events ready for use, and won't have to stop the game for rulebook checking.

>>7987988
I am not going to justify myself to you, sire!

My heart is true and my deeds are noble!

Please cease whatever you are currently doing and let us help DM lady together.

That assuming she is still with us.

This is how I feel...

>>7988031
>Sarah Silverman.jpg

>>7987988
>white-knighting
>You forgot weeaboo mary-sue furry.
...what are you talking about?

Don't forget to provide sensory clues. Nothing is more dreary than entering a 10x10 corridor with another gelatinous cube. Describe the environment, including completely irrelevant details. If your players are anything like mine, they'll ascribe too much importance to even the smallest detail, and will consequently become paranoid. This is the ideal state in a dungeon. However, don't let up outside the dragon's lair! Let the players know what their characters are experiencing. Without graphics, you, the DM, are required to fill that void.

>>7988069
Stop. Please.

>>7987991
Can I kidnap the sorceress and trade her to the dragon for something valuable?

Dragons love maidens, right?

>>7988031

Just ignore the white-knights and anti-white-knights and pay attention to the actual advice. That'll make things easier.

>>7988031

So I am getting, sorta of scared, but willing to put up with us for a bit longer because of all the good advice.

And I do envy your nose, as it has gotten you so much help. So many of these threads have failed before, this one is filled with really good tips.
...also

NOSES FOR THE NOSE GOD
PROBOSCISES FOR THE PROBOSCISES THRONE

>>7988094
>white knights
>weeaboo marysue furry fags

>>7988095
You are correct sirrr!

>>7988078

Absolutely. See, this is a creative thinker. It might not work, and he might get disintegrated/eaten for his troubles, but I would fully support his hair-brained attempt and applaud his likely death.

>>7985592

>>7988095

Some of it depends on time of day, too. The night-shift seems more helpful than the day-shift, at least as a general rule.

>>7988098
That's Mr. Tripfag Weeaboo White-Knighting Mary-Sue Furry to you, asswipe. And go to hell, I haven't even posted in this thread yet, I'm too tired to come up with good ideas for new DMs.

Make everything incredibly sad. Just people dying or going insane out of every orifice. NPC's are just ways to tell players how nasty everything else in the world can really be. I gage the only way to truly be victorious in my campaigns is to go home and be a farmer. Its the only thing that makes sense.

>>7988078
Excellent plan!

>>7987531
Lady, you may very well be the queen of /tg/.

>>7988194
>Nose, you may well be the nose of /nose/

>>7988095
This thread succeeded because of OP's approach to it:
1) Post nose
2) Disregard rape
3) Post more nose
4) ????
5) PROFIT!!!
6) Post more nose
7) PROFIT AGAIN!!!


Give players a talking weapon. Write a lot of witty, sarcastic and cocky remarks and delicious one-liners for that weapon.

For more hilarity and surprise, make weapon start talking in the middle of first battle.

Weapon should freely give opinions on weilder and party members, taunt or give tactical advise.

For even more hilarity, make two weapons, one calm and wise, other cocky and sarcastic. Make them bicker whenever party gets bored.

>>7988194

Oh, no. No no no no no. Last time that happened, things got bad. Real bad. I'm gonna have to stop you right there, son.

>>7988194
>queen of /tg/
don't let Theo hear you say that.

>>7988211
Wait a second.

Provide more details on said "last time" dear sir.

>>7988207

/tg/ seems to react well to naiveté. Every thread like that I've seen succeed has an earnest yet clueless OP who genuinely wants to learn and asks specific questions or provides regular feedback. There are quite a few threads like that have succeeded, some of which I've participated in. It all comes down to how you ask and when you ask.

>specific questions
Speaking of which, are there any more?

>>7988211
Yeah, but if anyone deserves it, it's this chick and you know it. I mean, just look at how well she handeled the anal rape comments.

That's the truest one I've seen. Post nose, something (?) happens, and everyone profits. It was pretty weird.

Oh dear. All this speak of queen? I'm newww here

>>7988299
Isn't it a little sad that, to get help from /tg/, you have to ignore anal rape comments

>>7988316
Tits or gtfo.

>>7988330

We're more bark than bite.

>>7988155
You can make everything incredibly poignant without turning the world into Bleak Darkland and making your players depressed.

As a new DM myself, within the setting I am creating I'm trying to forge a world that I would want to play in. A big thing that lends a lot of realism to the world is to write your NPC's stories to include their friends, family, and lovers. Give them histories, populate the world with people who seem alive rather than static merchants or kings who only give quests without living lives of their own.

Have your king spend some time every day at the tomb of his beloved wife, as his ruling hand falls wider and harder as his depression worsens. Give your merchants children and apprentices who offer slightly different services and tell you stories about their father/mentor's adventures, their own dreams and aspirations. Maybe the smith's daughter is damned and determined to be the best horse racing jockey in the kingdom, and she's going to do it with horseshoes she made using her father's master smithing techniques. Maybe the tanner's apprentice dreams of becoming a monk and spends his time meditating.
Perhaps the street urchins have banded together around magical artifacts they discovered in the city sewers and they follow their leader, an orphaned teenage boy who wields the relic in an attempt to carve out a better for his young sister.

Give your world flavor and history.

that hat, in the very first pic. i have the same hat. did you buy it at a store called michaels?

Use mind-flayers as you're main bad guys. Your players will love to hate them. Or they'll just hate them. Especially if you play them right.

>>7988356
I do like flavor, that sounds pretty awesome actually.

>>7988362
SURE DID :D

>>7988404

And let your world evolve apart from your PCs. A background is all well and good, but PCs don't operate in a vacuum. Next time you see that stablehand, he's packed up and leaving for the monastery. A few months later you come across him in the mountains training. Make sure the players know that, while they're the protagonists of the story, they're not the only ones.

>>7988316
You, my dear lady, should post a cute picture of yours, holding DnD rulebook to your chest in a very nerdy way. This shall grant you title of /tg/ princess and we may move on with giving you more advise on DMing.

>>7988396

Gotta love the mindrape. Nothing like filling your rogue's head full of Goatse right before he attacks.

is michaels like a chain store? or do you live near brewster?

>>7988440

>and then we find out she plays 4e

>>7988440

Are you actually giving advice or just saying that so you'll get more nose?

>>7988448
For her, I could live with it. While trying to convert of course.

>>7988448

She mentioned eariler that she was playing 3.5

>>7988474
I gave a lot of advise here already. Trying to think of something else currently.

>>7988445
Michaels is a chainstore, yes.

>>7988474
I guffawweed

alright. i got a little freaked out when i saw the hat. caused it looked like the michaels by me and i got excited at the possibility of someone else that plays D&D by where i live.

>>7988497
>>7988474
Ok I admit. I'm all out of ideas and I want more nose.

Don't hold out on me anons. Share ideas so I.. I mean WE can get more nose.

>>7988508
Listen to these:
http://www.writingexcuses.com/
Subscribe to these:
http://www.koboldquarterly.com/
Post some these:
Pics with your 3.5 Ed book under your nose.

And then you will be able to awesomely DM as many friends as you may have.

A ruggedly handsome human bard is charming the pants off all the ladies in town with his winning good looks and almost supernatural charm. What people don't know is that he used to be an elf, but died and reincarnated (as the spell) as a human. The combination of elvish charm and human manliness is a frighteningly effective combination when it comes to the local women. However, many young fellows are getting very jealous and plan on getting some revenge. Will you aid the scorned paramours in their prank? Will you defend the bard from the local ruffians? Or will you try to bed as many women as possible before skipping town?

>>7988508

>>7988555


>Post some these:
>Pics with your 3.5 Ed book under your nose.
>And then you will be able to awesomely DM as >many friends as you may have

Agreed!

I use pdfs..... I don't have ze actual books :( I was short on cash and wanted to play immediately. Appologies my dear /tg/

A pair of halfling barbarian twin brothers blow into town and begin causing a huge ruckus on the bar-scene. They just had a major haul from killing a dragon, and know they're spending it all. They're out-drinking, out-fighting, and out-wenching everyone in all the bars in a 10-mile radius. However, they're so destructive that even with the influx of cash the barkeepers can barely scrape a profit due to constant repairs. Can you convince them to move on? Or will you join them in their epic pub crawl?

>>7988668
Then post a pic of your nose on the monitor with the pdf open.

>>7988668
We don't mind as long as we get more nose around /tg/ related accessories.

>>7988647
Hehe, that list reminds me of the "news" in sim city games

Is anyone liking these brief character bios with attached adventure hooks?

>>7988715
What ones?
I got here late, so the thread is TL;DR.

I must be doing Chemistry though :/ so I will leave you with this, plus one last nose.

>>7988747
Insufficient nose.
Nice stockings though.

>>7988747
DEM LEGS.. Ahem. Visit us again!

>>7988733

I'm doing some quick ones to start up adventures. Anyone can use them but I haven't gotten a lot of feedback so I don't know if they're any good or not:

>>7987321
>>7987490
>>7987597
>>7987685
>>7987991
>>7987851
>>7988677

I'm not sure if that's all of them.

>>7988715
Very much so.
>>7988706
Like dice

>>7988785

:3

>>7988747

>chemistry

>3.5
So fucking disappoint.

Night everyone! ^)^ you're my chaotic neutral heroes.

>>7988747
Wait. I just noticed the FotC shirt.

MAI WAIFU

>>7988785
You are too kind.

Make sure to post after DMing, I would love to know how it went.

>>7988811
Have a good sleep, sweet lady!

I'm sacred /tg/, she seems kinda cool.

She might also be one of those hipster chicks that think nerd is the new "chic" look. I don't even know man.

>>7988906
She could be QUEEN OF /tg/

Maybe one day she'll even go into porn and do con appearances.

in b4 she's actually 12

>>7988906
Lies, just look at her.

She is pure, I can sense it.

That nose can't lie.

>>7988920
>in b4 she's actually 12

No matter how creepy it sounds, that wouldn't stop most of /tg/ from loving her.

In fact, I would kneel and bow before girl who is that awesome at the age of 12.

/tg/, you're all terrible, terrible nose-sluts.

A gnome bounty-hunter takes the same mark as you do! This is bad, as he's renowned in the business as being one of the most ruthless, efficient rangers out there. Can you capture the runaway criminal before he does? Will you sabotage his efforts? Or will you try and convince him to capture it together and split the bounty?

>>7988957
Yes we are ;_;

OP, Can you please post in /b/ so I can ask for tits or gtfo and not feel bad? Thanks!

>>7988920
That's what I said, nigga. This gal was pretty rockin'. I hope we see more of her.

>>7988978
>This gal was pretty rockin'
Jesus christ what decade is this

>>7988978
Heh. "more"
i c whut u did thar

>>7989012
Hipster decade.

>camwhoring
>OH MY GOD GODDESS OF /tg/ ALLOW ME TO MAKE LOVE TO YOUR EGO RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW

>>7988976
Nose shall suffice, anon.

>>7989044
>camwhoring
>OH MY GOD GODDESS OF /tg/ ALLOW ME TO MAKE LOVE TO YOUR NOSE RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW

fify

>flight of the conchords tshirt
>IM WIERD LOL
>IM TOTALLY A NERD LOL
/tg/, I am disappoint.

>>7989079

Be fair, at least we got a few good ideas out of it. I'm totally basing my next wizard after the magic baker.

>>7989044
>implying you didn't enjoy the nose
Oh snap anon, /tg/ has no Pretty Marines threads! Go start one now!

>>7989079
Better than a GAP shirt

A pious cleric of Pelor struggles with a hidden, inner urge: he collects miniature dragon figurines and hides them in the rectory. He considers it a terrible sin and attempts to hide it from everyone, and is consequently nervous all the time. Yet, the only thing that calms him down is staring at those beautiful, rare figures encases in their original Wall-of-Force packaging. Despite the fact that no-one would think it a sin, he thinks himself a vile human being, and is on the edge of madness. The townsfolk notice that there beloved priest is deeply troubled, and hire some private investigators to find out his problem. Do they confront the priest? Do they tell the townsfolk? Do they convince the priest that its not so bad? Do they blackmail him? Or do they drip with envy over his Limited Edition Gold Great Wyrm and steal the set?

>>7989184
So meta...

>>7989208
It could actually be legit and fun if not for the figurines. Maybe figurines of naked women? Or some figurines of old gods no one gives a fuck about?

>>7989240
The figurines are universally of Evil races.

>>7989240

Yeah, it's a bit silly, but you can change it how you see fit to make it less silly. The point is that his habit is completely inoffensive and he considers it evil.

>>7989254
DAMN RIGHT I'd steal that!

Even if it'd made my paladin fall.

Delicious.

An elvish warlock was granted his powers not by a pact with daemons or devils, but by a pact with the fey of the Seelie court. Consequently, he has become much more capricious and in-tune with the natural rythms of magic. However, his fellow elves find him somewhat off-putting, and have exiled him from their ranks. Now he travels the world, righting wrongs that move him and fighting against any authority. He believes that there is only goodness in freedom, and that he should help them be free, even if they don't want it. A large bounty has been put on his head by every major kingdom he enters. Will you collect on it? Will you diplomatically tone down his attitude? Or will you ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH?

>>7989366
Do the impossible, see the invisible!
Touch the untouchable, break the unbreakable!

Damn, this is a motto of my next character.

>>7987683
But its....I'm horrible with women. :D

Have a puppy!

Have we 404'd yet?

>>7989539
Are you back? Nose if you are back!

>>7989539
/tg/ doesn't 404 for, like... ten or twelve hours. Sometimes two days.

Chemistry is defeated.

>>7989581

Well of course. It's chemistry. Any fool can do chemistry.

>>7989581
You earn 25 XP and find a Periodic Table.

>199 posts and 34 image
"oh boy, this should be good."

Nose? What's wrong with you people did you see her legs? In stockings no less. U:

>>7989581
Great Success!

Also, FUCK YEAH SHE'S BACK.

Ahem. We should proceed with advices I guess?

Do you have any idea of how player party will look like, DM Lady?

>>7989603
We shall archive it under "Nose Quest pt1"

Theres something, even I find alluring, about a pretty nose.

It's good to see /tg/ doesn't fall foul of the stereotype of the desperate nerd who'll go mad for anything with an XX chromosome.

>>7989581
>>7989595
>>7989598
GTFO BITCH I'm doing science!

>>7989634

>>7989605
I approve. Legs were most delicious.

I want to exist just to roll dice and carry rulebooks for her. Literally.

Well I was gonna ask, should I make it an ongoing campaign?(Assuming all goes well)

>>7986452
wait wait wait, these are pictures of OP?
*said with heavy Belorussian accent* you will be my girlfriend!

>>7989664
Make what an ongoing campaign?
Was a plausible/enticing setting identified?

-4 STR
+100 Nose Size

>>7989634
How dare you to say "anything", heretic scum?

She is anything but "anything"!

>>7989634
It is good to see dick is dick you dick fucking dick.

Nerdy camwhore spotted.

rolled 3 + 1 = 4

>>7989634
Dude, we're all about the damsel in distress...haven't you ever seen one of our billion White knight threads?

This thread is now full of fags who only noticed it after the bump.

Stop being fags. Read the thread.

>>7989706
That didn't really sound as funny or witty as you'd thought, did it?

>>7989713
Es true. I keep my shining silver armor right next to my computer, just in case I need to pop into a thread and be a much nicer guy then the internet usually permits.

>>7989740
No, I'm fully satisfied with the results.

Perhaps I should return at a better time....

>>7989744
Whiteknightfist, good sire!

This thread is now about pokemon.

>>7989758
Come back later without a name or camwhoring, and you'll get your answers without the trolling or endless dongslurping.

>>7989744
>Es true

Hispanifag spotted

>>7989634
it's funny cause it's true, /tg/ has very good taste.

>>7989796
No I've actually gotten pretty amazing answers, I was just seeing if anyone was still around.

>>7989813
Are you shitting me?

This is the board that literally faps to vaguely humanoid rodents.

>>7989815
THREE DAYS

THREE DAYS

THREE DAYS

>>7989820
Post pokemon or fuck off.

>>7989753
Let me try

>No, I'm fully satisfied with the dicks

Woah man! You were right, it's hilarious!

>>7989845
>Dicks, I'm fully dicked with the dicks

>>7989758
Nonono, /tg/ is always a bit hit-and-miss for replies, you'd have as much chance now as anywhere else.
In regards to making it an ongoing campaign: yes, definitely. A single session, especially if you're DMing for the first time with new players, won't actually get much done. You'll, to take the example from earlier, defeat the wizard and let the demon out, and maybe battle the demon, but that's it. You'll have a few chances to flesh little bits out, but not the entire world. Don't try and squeeze too much into it if you don't think it's going to fit. That's one of the worst DM mistakes: thinking that you have to get everything out in pointless infodump. If you want something as complex as the empire/republic split earlier, that'll be several sessions at the very least.

>>7989774
>This thread is now about pokemon.
I was playing Pokemon on the original GBC today, actually. Was pretty awesome

From whereabouts do you come, OP?

>>7989852
>Nonono, /tg/ is always a bit hit-and-miss for replies

It's like this on most image boards.

>>7989863
14/f/cali

>>7989852
Hmmm very helpful! Thank you very much, glad I got that before this thread jerkformed into pokethread.

>>7989858
Hell yes motherfucker. I had a level 100 Dodrio that was a complete rape machine in Blue.

>>7989820
This is absolutely horrible, I feel compelled to be nice to you.

As a DM, don't base the roleplaying off of random things that seem like they might fit in, try to incorporate things that your players like, for example, there are a lot of smokers in my group and nothing iterates that aspect of their lives into the game like the occasional break from killing beasties like sitting on a corpse and lighting up the corn cob pipe and telling old battle stories.

>>7989904
Pokethread beats white-knight/egofuck thread.

>>7989890
....not me.

>>7989758
Fear not, my lady, for it is I!

Bringing you more ideas.

Should your party feature a paladin, give him a young priestess to look after. She should earn his trust, do regular waifu stuff like cooking for him (no romance) and such. Make him feel like she is his little sister. Party should love her as well. She should be very usefull.

Now, regular adventure. Evil is lurking old castle. Players must go there and do what must be done!

They combat endless waves of undead and in the end, kill a powerful necromancer.

Suddenly, surroundings start to blur and fade out. Players now stand in a throne room of clean and shiny castle, corpse of king lying in front of them.

Priestess appears to be a succubus, which had all the party charmed all that time. She gives shocked paladin a kiss on a cheek and then dissaspears.

Players now have whole kingdom bound to lynch them - king was actually very kind, caring and wise, everyone loved him.

Bonus points for succubus whispering "Just as planned" into paladin's ear upon kiss.

>>7989815
>ditto vs ditto

FINAL DESTINATION

I'll suck your cock!

>>7989664
>>7989676
a summary of the ideas you decided to use would be a good way to start a future thread. also: ignore the angry trolls, they hate when anything gets positive attention.

>>7989735
Agreed! Thank youuu

OP here, using a trip due to impersonators.

Also I have herpes.

>>7989927
Do you /b/elong somewhere else?

>>7989927
Oh great, some unhappy fuckface is taking advantage of her lack of tripcode. Prepare for a minefield of shit falsified replies.

>>7989944
>posting 12 y/o quality joke on /tg/

I believe you are in a wrong board, kid

>>7989960
Disregard this, I suck cocks.

Oh dear, look at all the impersonators!
I suppose the only we we'll know who is the OP is if she posts nose with EVERY POST. :D

justasplanned.jpg

rolled 2 + 1 = 3

>>7989852
ongoing gives more time to develop your story and setting so try to keep it from being a one off to keep your first time players interested and it will help to make them "care" about thier characters if they live through a few sessions.

Also NEVER fudge rolls to keep them alive unless they got REALLY unlucky, put the fear of death in them, my group is on their 3rd set of characters now and are finally learning self preservation, but it was worth it, now they try not to act completely retarded and care if they die.
"A mysterious pool of odd coloured liquid in what appears to be an unbreakable crystal tub? Of course I'll jump in!"
"Roll fort as you dive into several litres of highly corrosive acid and it instantly begins to eat through your armour and skin."
Didn't do it twice.

>>7989980
Complain about /b/tards
adviceneckbeard.jpeg
Encourage camwhoring

>>7989980
True Whiteknights shall know when DM Lady speaks.

We don't need tripcodes, pictures or any kind of proof. We can sense her awesome.

>>7989923
Emphasising again that this has to be a long-term thing. Have it in mind, but it has greatest impact when the betrayal is played out halfway through a campaign.
Alternately, read the story of Noh for what happens when the party does something you didn't expect.

>>7989910
Damn! my crap advice failed to warrant a response.

*today's journal, second attempt ever at female interaction was a complete failure, back to the drawing board.*

>>7990005
Yes, but a pic gives a bonus for anyone low level or who has Detect OP as cross-class :p

Well time of death... 10:02... this thread is deceased. But I would like to thank my noble knights for providing me with REAL help and offering playful nerdy humor, not crass, rude, /b/ rank humor. That's why there are different forums, if you like your /b/... please stay there. But rest assure I shall return, perhaps tomorrow, my dears ^)^

>>7989984

With new players it's almost Pavlovian. No-one wants to make a new 4-page character sheet after making a shitty "lol im so randumb" joke.

>>7990033
:3

>>7990033
I'll be here.

With my goatse.

>>7989829
indeed good sir, but there is a marked difference between the things one does in one's fantasy worlds and how one interacts with reality, and in general /tg/ has better taste that many. or rather: relativity, GO!

>>7990029
True.

It also gives morale, attack and defense bonuses to every whiteknight in thread.

Together, we shall overcome the faggotry and march into the city of Awesome, carrying DM Lady on our shoulders!

>>7990058
>there is a marked difference between the things one does in one's fantasy worlds and how one interacts with reality
>Apparently ignorant of white knighting

>>7990050
And I will be here with my report function.

>>7990005

>white knight class ability: sense awesome

>>7990063

Right, this irony has gone too far. I can't tell whether you're sincere or not, which means that you've crossed over into creepy. Stop that.

>>7990033
Lady have spoken.

We shall avait your return, Mistress. Till then, be well!

>>7990019
You are noticed my fine knight, I just had to sift through a bunch of crap to see you. I don't overlook anyone ^)^ Your kind deeds are held dear to my heart.

>>7990081
Yes.

The mods who regularly moderate /tg/ will certainly swoop in and bring any rulebreaking to a swift end.

>>7990101
*heart flutter*
*attempts to hide tears with a grim expression*
We shall protect you, ma'lady.

>>7990083
>White knight class ability: immunity to healthy social interaction

One last one for OP then.

>>7990087
I am as serious as I can be, good sire.

I am wearing a chainmail shirt now because it's as close as I can get to any armor.

This thread made me so white I reflect 100% light.

>>7990139
Actually, I'll throw this one in too.

I roll for love and appreciation, natural 20. Effects only the real knights of /tg/ ^)^

Dear moderators:

This thread is clearly full of rulebreakers, and should be obliterated.

Love,
A Neckbeard

PS: sterling work with all the moderating you do.

rolled 7 = 7

>>7990214
We didn't see the roll.

dice+1d20, in the e-mail field.

rolled 3 = 3

I'm new >_< ....

Jesus H. Fucking Pogo-Jumping Christ on a goddamn popsicle stick. I can not fucking believe all the whiteknighting derp-drooling people in this thread who think this is a legitimate picture series.

>1265679721.jpg
>1265679527.jpg
>1265677870.jpg
>1265676762.jpg
>1265674700.jpg
>1265673455.jpg
>1265671540.jpg

Filenames from the bottom up. See a trend by chance? Yeah. They're all 4chan saved img filenames. Don't you people spend time on /b/ at ALL?

Tits or GTFO. Fucking picattentionwhorefakefilenamefags.

rolled 9 = 9

>>7990282
D:

NO LOVE!

NO LOVE FOR THE KNIGHTS!

rolled 13 = 13

totally a legit roller.

>>7990138
STAT WHITEKNIGHT! DO EET!

Str: 18
Dex: 10
Con: 12
Int: 14
Wis: 16
Cha: 16


Sense Awesome
Sense Damsel in Distress (passive, always on)
Smite Faggotry
Profficiency: Heavy Armor (Stubbornness)
Focus Weapon: Chivalry
Tactics: Whiteknight Formation
Damsel Defender (passive): +4 to all save throws, armor class and attack rating, gain unlimited Taunt ability vs. Faggotsm, as long as Damsel in Distress remains in the thread.


My poor attempt. Do better!

rolled 1 = 1

>>7990286
I'm sorry, do you have a life?

rolled 3 = 3

>>7990286
10/10 ,I double-checked the filenames.

>>7990286
Are you retarded? Look at filenames again. Then again if you have to.

>>7990286
I...er...WHAT. Do YOU even know how to work 4chan? Those are the renamed names.
I'd post useful advice to go along with that, but it's a lost cause by now. Good luck with your game, Miss Nose.

>>7990303
>Do you have a life?
>Attention whoring on /tg/

rolled 3 = 3

ROLLING AGAIN FOR LOVE AND APPRECIATION :D
BIG BUCKS NO WHAMMIES

>>7990286
Epic fail right over here. I can't believe it.

>>7990286
No, I don't spend time on /b/, if I spent time on /b/ I would be too stupid to recognize the 4chan image number from the file name. Fucking idiot, get off of /tg/ you bottom feeder piece of shit.

rolled 7 = 7

>>7990377
:(

>>7990377
Whiteknight love and appreciation rolls are an automatic critical success for true Lady, you don't have to.

rolled 13 = 13

>>7990373
I'm an attention whore because I ask a legitimate question and show /tg/ some nose, because they asked politely?

>>7990407
Yes, basically.

>>7990407
Ma'lady, if I may direct your attention to my fellow Knight's post.
>>7990406
It is true, you need prove nothing to us.

rolled 16 = 16

>>7990407
Nooooo! You're falling for the trap!
Disbelieve the illusion!

>>7990406
Good then :)

This thread horribly derailed from awesome into trolls since the bump.

Right now it's Lady in the middle, whiteknights in circle around her and as far as eye can go, trolls everywhere.

But we shall stand our ground!

What adventure do you think of now, Lady?

OP left several posts ago. This thread is now a troll and a white knight playing with himself.

>>7990476
Can I be a Troll White Knight, or is the LA too high?

It's been a while since new nose. I miss nose. ;-;

>>7990476
I fear the thread is auto-sageing
but we will remain steadfast in the defense of a fair maiden.

>>7990485
I can spot at least two other fellow whiteknights here. You can't decieve me, spawn of darkness!

>>7989623
Yes, so we
>>7990485

>>7990516
Hah, fuck, I got the links reversed :(

>>7990454
What would I do without my Knights? For they hath rescued me yet again.

PAY ATTENTION TO ME ^)^

>>7990501
Are you WHITEKNIGHT OR WHAT?

>>7990545
Even more than our duty, it is our choice!

>>7990545

'happy jew year'... Just wth?

>>7990545
We shall always stand by your side, Lady. What is your wish?

>>7990515
Your skills of perception are quite notable my liege. I am impressed and flattered by your loyalty :)

>>7990605

>>7990603
*Draws Scythe* My wish? Let's slay some fuckin' trolls.

>>7988747
Fuck yeah! Flight of the Concords!

>>7990682
Uh... Have you read up on CRs and ELs yet?
You wanna fight /tg/ trolls?

>>7990682
Did you actually drawn that?

>>7990763
Nah, google :p

>>7990763
Oh god... Cutenose, plaid socks, concords shirt, DMs, AND drawfags?

I don't think I could handle that...

>>7990793
Well that's a relief. For a moment there I thought my mind will blow with sheer awesomeness. Too much awesome is unhealthy!

>>7990825
>>7990821
Tooawesometohandlemind

>>7990825
I do draw though ^)^

>>7990825
>>7990682
By the way, I approve on your weapon of choice, Lady.

>>7990857
Can you draw upon your generosity to provide us moar pics?

>>7990857
Samples, we needs them.

>>7990863
By farrr my favorite weapon, it's been my weapon of choice since I started playing ^)^

>>7990891
Why? Crit range?

>>7990870
Well I am about to retire for the night, noble liege, but I will return tomorrow ^)^ possibly just a few, to avoid the whole, camwhore battle again.

>>7990915
I'd say it looks plain BADASS. Especially with priestess' dress/robe.

SWIRLING DANCE OF DEATH

>>7990915
Crit yesss, but also for her elegance, beauty, finesse and sheer killer look.

>>7990923
It is time for us to retire also then.

Dear god, it's 5 AM.

Also, there are no more trolls in this thread.

We prevailed, noble knights!

.>>7990969
Huzzah!
Ah, my knights are European?

Goodnight, everyone.

>>7991016
Some of us at least.

No matter. The cause was worth the sleepless night!

Stockings and nose were double worth it!

Keep being awesome, DM Lady, you are a becon of Light in dark void that is Internet.

>>7990923

I patiently await more nose (and stockings!)