[Return]
Posting mode: Reply
Name
E-mail
Subject
Comment
File
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • ????????? - ??


  • File : 1263564876.jpg-(54 KB, 500x336, thousand_sons_variants.jpg)
    54 KB Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:14 No.7599805  
    Hey /tg/, what happens if a space marine wears a rubric marine?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:15 No.7599811
    If the armour is breached then the Thousand Son dies.
    >> dice2 01/15/10(Fri)09:15 No.7599812
    there's a pregnancy joke in there, but I can't think of it.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:15 No.7599815
    They get sand in their vagina
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:17 No.7599827
    >>7599811
    where the fuck does that come from? I've never read that in any CSM codex (not 2E, 3E, 3.5E or 4E) or any Index Astartes article. In fact, in the 3E codex, they show a picture of a thousand son with multiple armor breaches just plugging away.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:19 No.7599847
    I thought it would be funny to have a rubric marine capture a loyalist this way, and get him killed without his buddies knowing he's in there.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:21 No.7599866
    >>7599805
    Was horus a space marine primarch with an egyptian theme that was corrupted by chaos?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:21 No.7599872
    >>7599805
    Homosexual tension.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:28 No.7599944
    So anyway, if a berserker of khorne were to wake up after headbutting a baneblade, and discover that someone switched his armor, would he be a prisoner, be able to run around in the armor like normal, or something inbetween?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:31 No.7599970
    >>7599944
    It would be quite possibly the most awkward moment ever and neither would know what to do.

    Then they'd start blushing, and quickly extricate themselves. After this, they keep snatching looks at one another across the battlefield, and this goes on for some time with a will-they-won't-they play around until finally the Khorne Berserker is sitting alone amongst the ruins, and the Rubric Marine comes up and whispers in his ear.

    "I want you... inside me"
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:31 No.7599973
    This is all a segue into a shitty ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:33 No.7599992
    If Thousand Sons died whenever the armor was breached even a little, there would be none left by this point.

    I always figured that as undead, they could have their armor reassembled after the battle and be good as new.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:36 No.7600014
    >>7599805
    This is like an ultimate form of gay sex.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:38 No.7600036
    >>7599970
    I've got a boner.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:42 No.7600069
    As long as the armor is mostly intact, their spirit stays in it. If it is totally wrecked, it can be repaired and have their spirit re-bound to it.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:45 No.7600092
    >>7599992
    Apparently even if the entire armor is destroyed, they can perform human sacrifice to have the sacrifice be possessed by the ghost armor and turn into one... yeah doesn't make sense to me either

    is there any official fluff about how 1000S geneseed works?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:46 No.7600102
    >>7600092
    >1000S geneseed
    >1000 Sons
    >Animated Armour
    >Gene Seed

    FFS!!! read your fluff boy!!
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:46 No.7600104
    >>7600092
    The normal marines don't have geneseed, it got turned into dust like they did.
    >> MR. RAGE !D9l9S8Lio6 01/15/10(Fri)09:47 No.7600112
    >>7600092

    WELL, THEY'D ONLY HAVE SORCERERS LEFT BIOLOGICAL AFTER THE RUBRIC, SO THEORETICALLY YOU COULD HARVEST *THEIR* GENESEED AND MAKE NEW MARINES, BUT THEY WOULDN'T BE RUBRIC MARINES UNLESS THE RUBRIC IS REPLICABLE ON A SMALLER SCALE.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:48 No.7600117
    >>7600069

    But isn't their primarch who accidently his whole chapter extremly dissapoint in turning his brothers into walking cans of hate?

    Wouldn't he just let them die like the good daemonprince he is?

    Also I know almost nothing about warhammer, I only come here for the troll threads
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:48 No.7600126
    >>7600092
    magic.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:50 No.7600139
    >>7600117
    also it was apparently just as planned.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:51 No.7600149
    >>7600112
    What happpens if a sorceror dies?
    How they recruit new ones?
    >> MR. RAGE !D9l9S8Lio6 01/15/10(Fri)09:52 No.7600162
    >>7600117

    HERE'S THE GIST:

    THOUSAND SONS WERE GETTIN' HERETICAL, LOVIN' THEIR SORCERERS AND GETTIN' ALL KINDS OF MUTATIONS AND SHIT.

    AHRIMAN, SORCERER SUPREME, REALIZED IF THE MUTATIONS CONTINUED BAD SHIT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. HE CAST THE RUBRIC, TIN-CANNING ALL THE NONSORCERERS.

    THEIR PRIMARCH WAS *PISSED*, AND CAST AHRIMAN OUT. AHRIMAN FLIPPED THEIR PRIMARCH THE BIRD AND QUESTED FOR THE BLACK LIBRARY.

    THE SORCERERS WHO WERE AROUND DURING THE RUBRIC PROBABLY FIGURED OUT/LEARNED THE RE-BINDING CEREMONY.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:52 No.7600171
    >FFS!!! read your fluff boy!!

    Yes, because the 1000S totally have rubric squad leaders, amirite?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:56 No.7600205
    >>7600162
    > AHRIMAN FLIPPED THEIR PRIMARCH THE BIRD AND QUESTED FOR THE BLACK LIBRARY

    SUMMON THE DRAWFAGS AND THE QUESTFAGS.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)09:57 No.7600220
    >>7600205
    Ok, your party is Big A, an eldar solitaire and Inquisitor Kryptmann. There is a fork in the webway up ahead.
    Which way do you go?
    >> The Greentext Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 01/15/10(Fri)10:11 No.7600380
    >>7600220

    >I think I'm going to run a quest based on this.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:13 No.7600391
    What weaponry do rubrics use anyway? Normal i'd assume bolters only and forbidden from taking chainswords, pistols or anything else. The pciture shows the rubric having a storm-bolter and a powerfist, so can they take other weaponry like lightning claws, combi-weapons, autocannon etc?

    I'd understand rubrics are SLOW motherfuckers so running into melee chainsword-a-wavin' is stupid. But having termies with heavy weapons seems ok.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:16 No.7600414
    >>7600391
    that was back when you could have rubric termies.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:16 No.7600420
    >>7600220
    I try to find a whip.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:19 No.7600451
    >>7600414
    I meant as in terminators painted/converted to look like rubric termies and having a fluff-decent army.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:21 No.7600475
    >>7600420
    Kryptmann has:
    - Riding Whip
    - Sexy Whip
    - Neural Whip
    - Cool Hwhip
    He's very prepared.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:23 No.7600486
    >>7600171

    But how would that work? As everyone knows, squad leaders refuse to wear helmets..

    Headless Spaaace mariiines ooOooOoOoOOOO!
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:27 No.7600522
    >>7600162

    Ahriman, Sorcerer Supreme? I think not, Dr. Stephen Strange frowns upon your sheniagans.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:30 No.7600551
    When a Rubric Marine's armor is breached massively and destroyed, the soul of the marine slingshots back to a sorcerous nexus in some 1Ksons enclave, where it is re-bound to new armor.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:31 No.7600563
    >>7600475
    Then, where there's a whip, there's a way. (All these years studying ancient tomes payed off!).

    Start lashing the eldar for him to guide us through the webway. Do the opposite of what he says first. Next fork we'll talk.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:31 No.7600565
    >>7600451
    And I meant as in "the rules will be the same as a termy with Mark of Tzeentch"
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:33 No.7600573
    >>7600563
    The Solitaire is mute, as well Kryptmann would know.
    Ahriman stares on, bemused.
    The Solitaire guides you left - just as he always intended to. Suddenly, Dark Eldar.

    Wut do?
    >> Richard Motion 01/15/10(Fri)10:33 No.7600575
    IIRC Rubric Termies couldn't have squad weaps or anything (but they had the whole 'sorcerer shoots psychic laser bolts' thing going on, so they could deal with tanks that way.)
    >> Richard Motion 01/15/10(Fri)10:33 No.7600581
    >>7600573

    Ahriman laughs for about 5 seconds before vaporizing them with Bolt of Change spam.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:34 No.7600584
    >>7600551
    Great, so ANOTHER immortal group of things that want to destroy the galaxy.

    Seriously, what the fuck? Necrons insta-teleport back to their tomb worlds to get fixed, tyranids and orks are so fucking difficult to kill/stop from reproducing that they are practically immortal, kharn and lucius just keep getting brought back...

    This is beyond grimdark and well into fucking derp.
    >> LDT-A 01/15/10(Fri)10:34 No.7600590
    Just as a side note, 1000 Sons can still make new marines. Geneseed implantation is still totally possible when its taken from the Sorcerors, but the Rubric is LINGERING.

    At some arbitrary point during the process of becoming a member of the one thousand sons chapter, the Rubric kicks in and you either get incinerated or have your Sorcerous ability amplified, just like when the Rubric was initially cast.

    This is one of the reasons that sending people out on errands to try and find a way to fix the rubric is so important, even if it doesn't reverse the existing marines back into living people, they'll at least be able to induct new members without them becoming dust.
    >> Richard Motion 01/15/10(Fri)10:35 No.7600601
    >>7600590

    This makes an awful lot of sense, but I don't think its canon.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:36 No.7600610
    >>7600581
    The smell of roasting space elf is nummy.
    The webway stretches before you.
    >> Richard Motion 01/15/10(Fri)10:39 No.7600654
    >>7600610

    Hmmm. My warp-dar giving me any hints?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:41 No.7600674
    >The smell of roasting space elf is nummy.

    Even to a spess mummy?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:42 No.7600680
    >>7600575
    So if i were the make a squad of 1ksons fluffy termies, the only weapon they're allowed is the bolter? that's shit!

    To be honest i'm gonna bend the fluff to suit my fucking liking. powerfists and autocannons/heavy flamers are ok since they are slow to use and require you to remain stationary to fire. Might think about how to make lightning claws availiable too, since i like them.

    And besides, rubrics are fucking automatons. If the sorcerer says "pick up a fucking missile launcher" they pick up the fucking missile launcher.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:42 No.7600682
    >>7600601
    Yup. There's at least a dozen theories as to how their geneseed works.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:42 No.7600687
    >>7600654
    Here's a hint: Webway is very big. Very very big.
    The Solitaire continues walking forwards at a brisk skip.
    >> Richard Motion 01/15/10(Fri)10:43 No.7600702
    >>7600687

    Wait. Kryptmann's been there before. I ask him. Not nicely.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:44 No.7600710
    >>7600674
    Ahriman's a dude in armour, hell, a spess muhreen super sorcelerator, so he smells it as SUPER nummy.
    Kryptmann has a hardon for the Eldar as vast as the infinity circuit, so he creamed a little.
    The Solitaire is a soulless bastard, but still likes the smell of his kin burning. Eldar burn like sandalwood and cinnamon.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:47 No.7600744
    >>7600702
    "Buddy, all these swirly blue tunnels look the same to me... I'm as keen to find this place as you are... I'm got a few late fees..."
    He shows you an Eldar tome, nestled within is a copy of WraithBoners. The air of senility and madness twinkles in the venerable Inquisitors eyes.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:47 No.7600746
    >>7600475
    >Cool Hwhip

    Wait, what?
    Say "cool."
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:47 No.7600748
    >>7600710
    >Eldar burn like sandalwood and cinnamon.

    Then chop and save any ones we encounter for the escort ship is ripe with the odor of sweat
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:49 No.7600769
    >>7600746
    ;) thanks.
    >>7600748
    Can do. But you guys are on foot.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:49 No.7600773
    >>7600680
    terminator armor lets you move and shoot heavy weapons you know.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:51 No.7600797
    >>7600744
    >He shows you an Eldar tome, nestled within is a copy of WraithBoners. The air of senility and madness twinkles in the venerable Inquisitors eyes.

    This thread just got awesome.

    Get the magazine. Flip over to the ads, search for something in the webway passage. The "Harlequin's Black Kiss-Show Bar and erotic shop Open TUE-SAT 17:00-4:00" will do. Make the solitaire guide us.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:53 No.7600841
    >>7600773
    Really? Good. I'm a beginner in the tabletop but I love 1ksons and I will bend the fucking fluff so i can play a nice and fluffy and balanced army. Fuck the Black Library.

    Also how the tits do you pronounce ahriman? A-REE-MAAN? or AHH-REE-MAAN. Is the H pronounced? like Hate or Heckle?

    And is the guy worth using? i'd use abaddon since he's a fucking GOD but wouldn't fit.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:53 No.7600845
    >>7600797
    Kryptmann is positively giddy with the suggestion. Beneath his skin tight hood thing, you can roughly equate a grin from the Solitaire.
    WALKING MONTAGE
    You arrive, it's in the nicer suburbs of Comorragh. You're noticing a distinct lack of...females...
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:56 No.7600890
    >>7600845
    Wait... SAN FRANCISCO? Well, all this walking got me thirsty. Ask for the least strange cocktail around. Also, get into character and seduce one of the clients. Perhaps he knows where to find the Black Library. Just try to steer the conversation away from dark room.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)10:58 No.7600922
    >>7600841
    There's nothing unfluffy about a rubric using an unusual kind of gun. Its just not represented in the rules.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)11:01 No.7600966
    >>7600890
    You're given what appears to be an eyeball floating in green goo. It is however delicious.
    Kryptmann is very excited about how adventurous you're being. Ahriman meanwhile seems awkward and uncomfortable.
    On the dancefloor, the Solitaire is doing the swim. And ass spelunking.
    What looks to be a Male Wych strides up to you, thrusting. "Hey there Mon-Keigh, wanna get beastial?"
    >> Richard Motion 01/15/10(Fri)11:06 No.7601058
    >>7600966

    Ahriman initially reacts with anger, but Kryptmann puts a hand over his and whispers 'I'll take care of this, he might know something.'

    As Kryptmann and the Wych walk off to the dance floor, Ahriman is left alone at the bar.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)11:08 No.7601085
    >>7600966
    Is he one of dem bear types? If so, keep chatting. Start with "Oh man I sure knew commorragh had real meneldardarkwhattsitrectalbladesthings"

    If not, take him to a private place, really private and start the preliminars. When he gets a wee bit confident, steal his torture equipment and start snapping his fingers till he tells you where to find the webway yellow pages, the most secret of tomes out of the black library.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)11:17 No.7601205
    >>7601058
    >>7601058
    Ok, contested actions.
    Compromise. Ahriman is indeed left at the Bar, chuntering to himself. Kryptmann and the Solitaire are in a circle jerk pit. Leaving the player - (we'll assume you're somedude mcguy) chatting to the Wych.
    He seems a little shocked at the rectal blades idea, "oh, ummm, yeah, can't get enough of those rectal blades..." He's happy enough to be led to a private room, and whilst you busy yourself removing his gear, you begin to notice some inconsistencies, notably the labels - "hot topic" and such.
    Bending back his fingers almost to breaking point, he begins to whimper "I don't know about anything like that, please... I'm... I'm not really from around here... Awww man if my Dad finds out about this..."
    Wut do?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)11:29 No.7601381
         File1263572957.png-(170 KB, 664x528, hot topic.png)
    170 KB
    >>7601205
    Wat kind of wimpy DE doesn't like a bit of pain.

    Menace to contact his father if he doesn't take you to the commorragh tourist office. If he complies, go fetch the party.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)11:33 No.7601431
    >>7601381
    "Well, see, I'm not really what you'd call a "dark" Eldar... More, Dark Curious..." He whimpers at you. "Grey maybe? And I don't know the city too well...but I could help you guys look...? Please don't kill me..."
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)11:36 No.7601472
    >>7601431
    Take him with us. If he fails when needed, at least we can use him as incense. Leave the peep show -gay bar whatever that place was (if only the imperials knew)

    Well, we are stuck in this mad city. Ask party for ideas.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)11:38 No.7601508
    >>7601472
    As you begin to drag his sorry ass out, and gather up your - somewhat reluctant - party from the oh so very gay bar, there is an almighty crash from outside. Booming on auditory and psychic channels alike come the words; "SON I AM DISAPPOINT!"
    Wut do?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)11:43 No.7601560
    >>7601508
    fetch the reward. I mean, the father was most probably looking for the lil fucker.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)11:47 No.7601599
    >>7601560
    You must gather your party before venturing forth.
    So you do.
    Outside in the now blasted suburban hell, pulsing with psychic energy with each word, is a vast edifice of wraithbone and death.
    Kryptmann has pissed himself. The Sorceleator Ahriman stares wildly, and the Solitaire has fallen to one knee.
    The Blackstone Fortress, looking as pissed as an inanimate space station can, speaks: "A Faggot, AND a Mon-Keigh Fucker... You bring shame to our family name..."
    The Wych-Poseur seems crestfallen "Sorry Dad..."
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)11:50 No.7601645
    >>7601599
    Oh God, was this Macha trying to get some?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)11:51 No.7601656
    >>7601599
    "Hey, take your family problems to the Jarvius Springmann PsyFeed; just tell me how to get to the tourism office"
    dramatic pause
    "BTW, I only put the tip inside, the balls weren't touching and I was the napebreather, he was the pillowbiter."
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)11:52 No.7601669
    The Rubik's Marine becomes sad.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)11:56 No.7601731
    >>7601656
    "SILENCE! You damn dirty apes don't get to speak to... I... The great and powerful Farseer of Ulthwe! Just hand over my shit for brains son and I won't fuck up your shit. And wipe that damn Jokaero Semen off your lips, fuck me, the stuff you beasts drink..."
    Ahriman turns to you, "Eeeeeeew, Purple Monkey Jizz..."
    Wut do?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)12:04 No.7601820
    >>7601731
    Spit furiously. Glare furiously at A. Now I'm pissed.
    "How could you not foresee the faggotry gestating in this sack of meat? And you call yourself a farseer! HA! See further through this!"

    Flip the bird. Push the boy towards his father while whipering "remember me" and shoving one of your business cards into his pocket. the one with no rectal blades. Stomp away furiously.

    A dark-curious contact is more than anything!

    Walk till we find a decent tavern. A manly one.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)12:15 No.7601937
    >>7601820
    You leave Blackstone-Eldrad and his faggot son bemused. They wander off, one giving a stern lecture to the other...it seems there's something quite similar about father and son when you get right down to it...
    You suggest the tavern idea, and whilst Kryptmann and the Solitaire, arm in arm, seem happy enough, Ahriman guffaws, "You're in the biggest hipster-emo trasheap in the gods damned galaxy... You're looking for manly? Heh. Good luck..."
    All the same, you trudge deeper into the seedy underbelly of the dark city. The scent of cinnamon and sandalwood permeates everything. Gang signs are becoming quite commonplace, you wander through the terriotries of the Cabal of the Wrist Deep Fist, The Unflinching Stare, The Burst Pipe and finally the Unflattering Girdle. Many hours have passed, and little but gay bars and take outs have been your landmarks. The landscape is becoming spikier, and the Cabal names less retarded. Though a manly tavern still seems sectors away...

    Wut do?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)12:22 No.7601989
    >>7601937
    Fuck this. I scold Ahriman for being helpless. I take out my commlink module and dial the number listed under "QUIXOS MAH BOI". I start the conversation with a "sup bro, where you chillin at?".
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)12:28 No.7602049
    >>7601989
    "Sup. Little busy right now buddy, Prophaniti needs a new host body... Something supple and young... But I guess I've got a few ticks to help out a pal. What can I do you for?"
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)12:39 No.7602143
    >>7602049
    "you wont believe where I am standing right now. In the black library! just kidding, hanging out here in the capital city of sin and eyeliner. Just saw that dork eldrad, seems his son got.. *ahem* raped or something. Nothing to do with me, of course. Just asking, you know where can I find the tourism office in here? remember that summer back in m38.183 when we got all wasted and ended barfing there? If not, gimme the number of that illuminati pal of yours, whatshisname..."
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)12:45 No.7602194
    A rubric marine is actually a literal walking bag of dicks. Everyone just says they're hollow because nobody wants to think about how the mechanics of it all actually works.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)12:51 No.7602240
    >>7602143
    "Awww man, that shit was so cash... Illuminati pal? You mean that prick Eisenhorn...? What, I'm guessing here..." he pauses, arguing briefly with Prophaniti over his choice of *ahem* ideal physical forms... "You'll take that damn loli and like it!! Sorry, where were we? Man I was so high on Green Squig I'm surprised I even remember being there... But look, your best bet's to seek out one of the gang leaders there, some douchebag who's a Dark Lance short of a Raider, dig? I mean, who's going to know that shitty place better than fag prime? Hell, if you're lucky, I hear rumours those whddya call em...you know the one's with the 3+ armour save...? Yeah, those guys, they've got a head honcho used to be pretty high tier pre-slaanesh... Least that's what I'd do... You still want that fag's number?"
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)12:56 No.7602281
    >>7602240
    "Yeah, just in case I run out of D's. Thanks, mate; hope she becomes a damn wide-assed hottie. Somedude out"

    Okay, let's get further into commorragh and get in trouble with one of the local gangs. When I reach one of them spikygloomy places, I start selling my remaining D's and the solitaire's body. Ahriman can go to the bathroom if he plases but tchar protect him if he utters a word.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:01 No.7602332
    >>7602281
    You were quite engrossed in your phonecall. ol' Quiznos has a habit of rabbiting on.
    In that time, you've been surrounded by a group of Deldar, all in red. Ahriman has been mysteriously disarmed, the Solitaire is making the moves on a spry young sybarite, and Kryptmann is talking shop with the fellow with the blaster, something about how Dark Matter is a retarded thing to shoot, but wordier.
    Another sybarite approaches you, "Mon-Keigh, you dawdle in the realm of the Cabal of the Unflattering Girdle. This, along with this other fools, will be of great interest to my Lord. You will come or be flayed alive."
    >> Gateway !A0rZLfg4Oc 01/15/10(Fri)13:04 No.7602353
         File1263578666.gif-(163 KB, 480x554, megas1.gif)
    163 KB
    For a second, I thought Megas had been modified for a fantasy setting. It was an awesome couple of seconds.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:08 No.7602393
    >>7600746

    I see what you did there.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:18 No.7602500
    so rubric marines are walking suits of power armour?
    are they just piloted by their machine spirits/AI copy of the original owner then?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:19 No.7602514
    >>7602500
    Bound soul of original owner.
    Via Magic.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:20 No.7602516
    >>7602500
    They are powered by TRAPPED WIND. I mean TRAPPED SOULS.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:20 No.7602518
    >>7602500
    They're robots, but HAUNTED
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:21 No.7602527
    >>7602518
    They aren't robots at all.
    They are suits of armour.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:22 No.7602532
    >>7602353

    >Megas
    >Thousand Sons paintjob

    FUUUUUUUUU-

    CAN'T UNSEE
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:22 No.7602541
    >>7602527
    Of course they are. The original robot story involved vat grown humanoids created to be slaves.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:23 No.7602557
    >>7602541
    Which has nothing to do with space marines turned into dust by magic to serve as zombie power armour.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:25 No.7602572
    >>7602557
    They fulfill all criteria of a robot, so they are robots.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:26 No.7602585
    >>7602572

    They are Undead.

    Since the Undead and Construct Types share the highest precedence on the Type-Hierarchy, neither one overrides the other, and the call is pretty much based on how EEEVULLL you want them to be.

    Chaos, logically, wants them to be very EEEVULLL. Thus they are Undead, and not Constructs. Also not robots.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:26 No.7602590
    >>7602572
    No they don't.
    They aren't mechanical, they're magical.
    They aren't programmed, they're haunted.
    They aren't created devices, they are bound humans.
    Their intelligence isn't artificial, they have souls.
    Tell me how, in any way shape or form, they "fulfil all the criteria of being a robot" preferably AFTER you've re-read the fucking definition.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:31 No.7602657
    >>7602332
    "THEN LET THE FLAYI- errrrrrr.... take us with you, we surrender!"

    I check out the route and hope the solitaire's pants are still dripping urine, for tracking purposes
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:36 No.7602704
    can someone tell me wtf is going on in this thread?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:36 No.7602713
    >They aren't mechanical, they're magical.

    Power armor.

    >They aren't programmed, they're haunted.

    Not a criteria.

    >They aren't created devices, they are bound humans.

    I sure see a device known as power armor, and a bound human also qualifies as a robot.

    >Their intelligence isn't artificial

    Not a requirement of a robot.

    >AFTER you've re-read the fucking definition.

    Pick a dictionary.
    Any dictionary.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:41 No.7602791
    >>7602657
    Kryptmann was the one pissing himself. He's still dribbling some. The Cabal Red Shirts lead you up some dark dark stairs and down a dark dark corridor through labyrinthine dark dark tunnels and eventually, sat on a dark dark throne, upon a dark dark dais, is a dark dark figure, with manboobs barely held back by his... Apparently the lord is the namesake of this particular Cabal.
    His armour, whilst somewhat inept at disguising his fat, is quite shiny and golden. Ahriman is looking decidely pissed off at himself, Solitaire and hisnew piece of ass seem seconds from consumating, and poor Kryptman has lessened to a mere trickle.
    Stood beside the Lord, a Homonculus in a very blue set of skin-robes, with oddly distended ears - even by eldar standards - whispers something briefly, before returning to what appaeras to be a scanning device. He presses his face to it, and will remain doing so.
    As the Lord speaks, he gesticulates wildly.
    "SO!? You have..." the pause is deafening "Wandered? Here? Into this....Neutral Zone and I...." Further pause, the Redshirts shuffle. "Willnotallowthat. What do ou have to say for yourselves, intruders?"
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:46 No.7602852
    >>7602713
    Wikipedia, do there, double check.
    >They aren't mechanical, they're magical.
    >Power armor.
    Is only part of them. A thousand son legionaire is both the armour AND the bound soul.
    >They aren't programmed, they're haunted.
    >Not a criteria.
    Of a machine that acts of it's own accord? No programming?
    >They aren't created devices, they are bound humans.
    >I sure see a device known as power armor,
    See first rebuttal.
    >and a bound human also qualifies as a robot.
    You're talking out of your ass.
    >Their intelligence isn't artificial
    >Not a requirement of a robot.
    No, a robot need not have AI at all. Still, these are more like undead, "zombies" in the sense of bound humans or automata, NOT robots. There is a distinct difference.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:48 No.7602874
    >>7602704
    I think a pretty poorly written quest, and some on topic discussion, mixed in with a dash of Megas and a cunt who doesn't know his robots from his elbows.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:49 No.7602887
    >>7602852
    Wikipedia? Really now?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:50 No.7602892
    >>7602791
    I imitate his pauses while speaking:
    "My name is peter stillman, that is not" ... "my name. Iwaslooking. for the tourism. office or the black library in default" ... 2Do you have a map, a WebwayPositioningSystem or perhaps a largelardypaunchandmanboobs*ARHEM!* could lend us some help?"
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:51 No.7602904
    They get tainted for wearing tainted armour, so they wouldn't do it.

    Opening the armour kills the 1000 Son zombie inside. This leaves the marine with some old, battered and warp touched armour.

    The armour would need to be purified, and most marines would use a melta for that.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)13:57 No.7602965
    >>7602892
    The Haemonculus raises his head "Fascinating." Then returns to his scope thingy.
    "You...seem to be a man I can..." Scratching his ass... "trust with something I...couldn'tgivetothesefools... They... Have a habit of dying." The Lord stands, in his best approximation of regal "Ensign Stillman you say...? I need...." He sits back down, apparently exhausted "Information... And a sweet new ride..."
    From the shadows another Haemonculus in blue steps forward "Damnit J'heem, we don't need these slack jawed beast fuckers to do the work of our cabal, I'm a warrior, not a fucktard!" He pulls out his Syringe to make stuffs go boom, "Gimme one good reason why we shouldn't blast them out of the galaxy!?"
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)14:08 No.7603059
    >>7602965
    I whisper to ahriman "Fry that fucker, we'll never get to that darn bookstore at this pace".

    If he succeeds I say "IT'S A SIGN! we must survive and you should help us out!"
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)14:13 No.7603109
    >>7603059
    Ahriman, flexing his magical might, cries "Shim shalla bim!" And the threatening Haemonculus is now a spawn. Perhaps not the best spell he could have selected, but somewhere you just know, Tzeentch is certain things are going just as planned...
    You shout "It's a sign!!"
    The Cabal replies "We're proper fucked!!"
    J'heem meanwhile seems suck in a loop, you're not sure why, but he's cursing the name of the White Scar's Primarch...
    In any case. Angry spawn. Wut do?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)14:17 No.7603144
    >>7603109
    kick the other haemonculus in the crotch, punch him in the face and kick again the crotch. Now knock him out, load him on my shoulder and RUN. shit's gonna get ugly.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)14:23 No.7603202
    >>7603144
    Just before knocking him out, he exhales "Fascina..." The Cabal is dumbstruck. The Party is dumbstruck. You fucking peg it out, with Redshirts aplenty in hot pursuit. You hear Lord J'heems voice over a comm say - "allyoushitheads, red........" in the time between now and the word alert being called, you have time for a brief action. Wut do?
    Also, angry spawn following Ahriman.
    Ahriman bit scared. Not sure why.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)14:27 No.7603248
    Only read through half the thread but heres what's what with the 1000 sons.

    The Rubric Marine's soul is trapped in the dust that his body has been practically vaporized into from the great Rubric of Ahriman. The soul also became psychically attuned to the specific armor it inhabits. The armor is hermetically sealed and the spirit drives the armor. If the armor is breached the soul (dust) escapes. With a ritual and time the soul returns to the armor (when repaired) and inhabits it again. So as long as there's a scrap of the physically bonded armor left, you have an unthinking, perfectly controllable immortal army.

    The librarians and more powerful psykers of the 1000 sons were not vaporized but in turn had their gifts exponentially increased.

    New recruits (can't remember if they actually induct them) aren't rubric marines, but 'normal' chaos marines. The rubric marines are fixed in number, none being born and none dying.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)14:27 No.7603254
    >>7603202
    I shout "IS THAT A BEAR" trying to divert attention from the alert. If the solitaire's still with us, shoot his kneecap, for the spawn to feed and give us time.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)14:31 No.7603297
    >>7603254
    As one, the Cabal, The Spawn, Your Party, all turn to look. You shoot out the solitaire's knee.
    "...alert."
    I'm assuming you make a dash for it. In the ensuing Dark Darkness, you follow the pungent aroma of Kryptmann's piss into the streets of Comorragh. A team of Redshirts is waiting, one levels his Blaster at you.
    Wut do?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)14:32 No.7603298
    >>7599970
    I can't stop laughing.

    >>7599827
    I agree. There's gotta be something other than a hole in the armor that does it, otherwise they'd be just as durable as vanilla marines.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)14:40 No.7603391
    >>7599827
    >>7603298
    The picture is of massive dents in the armor not full holes if I'm not mistaken.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)14:44 No.7603432
    >>7603297
    "Quick! There's a fire, rescue my good ol pal J'heems! I'll take this guy to the nearest hospital-thing-torturehouse-sacrificepit you guys use!"

    If the bluff fails, shoot him in the face, hoping my party acts consequently.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)14:51 No.7603521
    >>7603432
    "Well, I'm convinced..." The Blaster dude lowers his gun, only to be bitchslapped by his sybarite. Said squad leader lunges at you, only to stop blind in her tracks as a shadow falls over the scene... "SPAWN SMASH!!"
    A writhing mass of warp-tainted crazy ass shit slams into her, having quite unexpectedly vaulted above you. It decimates the sybarite, giving you ample oppourtunity to dispatch the rest.
    Ahriman, dragging both the prone Kryptmann and Solitaire, dumps them at your feet. The black staff is firmly in his hand. He nods approvingly at the Spawn.
    "SPAWN DO GOOD DADDY!!"
    "You see somedude McGuy, I wasn't afraid he'd hurt me...but afraid...to get too close...."
    LOL CHARACTER GROWTH.
    Wut do?
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)15:01 No.7603639
    >>7603521
    Keep running till we're out of this shithole. I hope the spawn moves fast enough. Also, disarm the solitaire and cut his fingers off, punch his teeth out, cut his tongue (again), drill his eyes and leave him there to rot. Or feed him to the spawn.

    Just save a leg for the ship.

    When we're out menace some other band member into taking us to his leader, rinse repeat until we get information.

    Disarm and strip naked the haemonculus whenever we reach a private, safe haven.
    When he comes back into consciousness, ask him for the tourism office.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)15:01 No.7603645
    >>7603521
    "Now WHO was the one calling me unmanly before?"
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)15:03 No.7603669
    >>7603639
    ALL THIS AND MORE IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE!!!
    If you're interested, I'll do this again, but right now... I'm in dire need to do much. Sorry.
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)15:14 No.7603782
    >>7603669
    No prob. it was a fun run!
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)15:15 No.7603806
    >>7603782
    Keep on the lookout for athread called:
    SOMEDUDE MCGUY AND THE QUEST FOR THE BLACK LIBRARY. . .Quest: A 40K Abortion
    >> Anonymous 01/15/10(Fri)15:15 No.7603809
    >>7603669
    Black Library quest is hilarious, and I seriously hope you go back for it again.



    Delete Post [File Only]
    Password
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]