>>7546762

You mean Exalted wasn't already?

>>7546762
OP is currently drunk/high/retarded and just saw this movie. He had a random mindfart and thought this would be good.

He was wrong.

>>7546770

Nah, Exalted takes itself WAY too seriously. Kung Fu Hustle just constantly takes the piss.

>>7546787

Really? I thought it was being so serious that it looped back on itself and was being satirical again.

>>7546780

>OP is currently drunk/high/retarded and just saw this movie

OP here. Only one of the four things here is true. Pick.

Anyway, I think you could recreate the basic story easily enough. PC's are a bunch of vagrants trying to get in with a gang of thugs, except their hijinks keep taking them to this one particular slum where a number of Terrestrial Martial Art Masters live ordinary lives. As the gang violence increases, the Terrestrials rise to defend their home and shit gets crazy..

>>7546835

Main villain would be a lunar exalt with a toad war form.

Exalted is pretty much designed for Kung Fu Hustle style action; you know, main characters scattering hordes of goons with a single kick, puching holes in buildings without touching them etc etc.

>>7546851

See, I'd been thinking of the Beast as an old Wood Aspect Terrestrial.

Either way, the main characters find themselves caught up in circumstances way beyond their mortal ken and end up Exalted to Solars and cleaning the fuck up.

>>7546762

Step one: Read two Exalted books.
Step two: Watch Kung Fu Hustle
Step three: Play Exalted.

Done. It's like saying "D&D: Dungeon Siege - In the Name of the King Edition". It's too straightforward to bother.

Okay, it's established that OP doesn't know much about Exalted.

Let's talk about Exalted: Modern. What time is Kung Fu Hustle, anyway? I get a sort of fifties vibe from the fashion and aesthetics. That means technologies not very widespread, but firearms, cars etc etc.

>>7546762
I throw a knife...and I stab you on accident.

>>7546835
Just saw the movie?

>>7546979
Its not 50's its more 30's actually.

>>7546979
Slums, cars that could accurately be described as 'jalopies', widespread usage of tommyguns.

>>7547055

Clever girl.

>>7546979
Definitely feels like 1940s-50s. It probably takes place in the period after WW2 before Mao steps in. . .which would be perfect for the next adventure after the events of Kung Fu Hustle.

Are we assuming Exalted: Modern takes place in Exalted's world advanced to 50s tech or ours with Exalts in it? At which point, how has modern tech changed Exalted/how has Exalts changed the world?

I can imagine Hitler investing massive resources into a Dragon Blood-esque system desperately looking for some "super-exalt" to win the war, Patton and Rommel going around punching tanks, and Japanese Exalts surfing Zeros down to American battleships.

You know, Kung Fu Hustle is actually listed as a reference material in the Scroll of the Monk.

>>7547105

Hmm.

New Charm: "Tigers Most Excellent Tommygun"?

"Gateway To Pair O'Dice: Summons a mystical door to Pair O'Dice, a speakeasy in Elsewhere"

Landlord and Landlady are Heroic mortals, the three masters are simply exceptional mortals, the main villain is a Terrestrial Exalt, and the hero is a Solar Exalt. Dunno what the music players are, I'm thinking some kind of fey.

>>7547133

Hmm. Let's say our world with Exalts.

>>7547150

I was thinking Akuma, myself.

>>7547152
>our world with exalts.

>>7547172

>Exalted level Mahjong

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

The pope is a Solar Exalt.

>>7547199

>Pope is a Solar

That's a funny way of spelling Infernal.

>>7547199
>The pope is a Solar Exalt.

Zenith Caste, obviously.

Exalts, nothing.

Games of Divinity? Mahjong.

>>7547235
FUCK THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!?

>>7547220
Pah, if the Pope were a Solar, we'd all be Catholic. The guy's a Terrestrial at best.

Okay, so if it's our world with Exalts, why exactly are they here? Gods are real and choose champions? Green space rock? Sheer willpower and KICKING REASON TO THE CURB on the Exalts' part? And how has their presence changed world history without changing the sleazy, corrupt, capitalist lifestyle in Shanghai just after WW2?

>>7547269
>sleazy, corrupt, capitalist lifestyle in Shanghai just after WW2

Maybe that's when the Exaltations started coming back?

If we go with the conceit that our world is the Exalted one far into the future, then maybe the exaltations were sealed up somewhere, and they're just beginning to re-emerge?

>>7547242

Well according to the manga, mahjong is, according to the Catholic church, the way of interpreting God's will and the method by which they choose the next pope.

>>7547291

Maybe have it so that the Jade Prison has only just now broken; our world is what happens after the Scarlet Dynasty falls and there's a lot of tectonic movement etc.

>>7547235

>>7547291
I think something ended up killing most of them off permanently, perhaps the Yozis or something, leaving only a couple left such as Father Wolf and probably Caine.

>>7547291
>>7547306

Nice. Maybe nuclear weapons are the catalyst? Martial artists find themselves becoming that much better and people all over the globe are beginning to exhibit powers out the wazoo. In addition to having things like Kung Fu Hustle happen, you have the Cold War powers try to round up as many Exalts as possible.

>>7547291

As an aside, this is roughly the story behind the Exalted: Modern game my friend is running, except the Jade Prison 2.0 broke about a month ago. By dropping on our hometown.

>>7547348

You know, an Exalted arms race does explain the Cold War quite nicely. Chernobyl wasn't a nuclear explosion, it was a testing ground for a Twilight built weapon which channelled the power of the Wyld. The radiation and mutations are the after effects.

>>7547348
Hell yes, or maybe Nazi meddling? We do know that they sent expeditions to Tibet, an intensely spiritual place...

>>7547348

I like the idea that nuclear weapons did it.

Oppenheimer was actually a Sidereal of the Bronze Faction. Having witnessed the worlds slow decline since the death of the last Incarnae at the Crucifixtion, he decides to finish the world off quickly by releasing the Solars.

Over time, with tectonics, the Jade Prison had become buried under tons of rock in the Nevada desert. "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" were the final incantations to his spell that set free the Solars to once more rise and rule and ruin.

>>7547380
What are you doing outside of the secure network? Nevermind, enjoy your month without the sun.

The rest of you:
You're not supposed to be here. Forget about all this.

>>7547454

I always knew he was a Sidereal.

Wait, who was I talking about again?

>>7547454

Wait, YOU'RE behind all the snow in the UK? Lame, I was totally expecting a pissed off Exalted.

>>7547380

Look up the Demon Core and TELL ME THATS NOT THE WORK OF AN ABYSSAL

>this thread

>>7547404
Awesome.

>>7547392
Maybe a combination of the two. Nazi meddling (maybe due to sidereal meddling) made the Stars are Right, if you will, and nuclear weapons sealed the deal.

>>7547490

Nah, that's probably just a Storm Mother in a particularly frosty mood.

>>7547404

This thread just took a turn for the awesome.

>>7547404
>the death of the last Incarnae at the Crucifixtion

This makes so much sense, that shit is officially bananas.

>>7547585

But which Incarnae was it? Obviously not a Maiden, since Jesus was a guy.

Jesus was the Unconquered Son?

>>7547598

At long last, the Unconquered Sun broke free from his addiction, to see the world in the absolutely destitute state it was in. The other gods were dead or worthless, so he did the only thing his Virtues would allow, and sent himself to the world to help it. But he did not know of the attenuated essence levels, and nearly destroyed himself in the journey. His only chance for survival; attempt to possess a human host. And near where he arrived, a pregnant woman giving birth in a manger.

>>7547653

So the wise men were Sidereals? And the star was the mark of the UCS's attempt to return to Earth/Creation?

>>7547598

You know, it may seem odd given Jesus's peace and love thing and UCS's RIP AND TEAR FOR JUSTICE thing, but actually I kind of works; Jesus for a lot of cultures was a warrior king. The Anglo-Saxons especially placed emphasis on the Harrowing of Hell when he kicks in the gates to the Underworld, pimp slaps Satan and rescues a load of souls.

That was just UCS-as-Jesus fighting the last Deathlord at Gehenna. The chronology got mixed up over time, and now we remember the Harrowing as happening after the Crucifixtion, when it actually happened before.

Help me /tg/ I'm starting to scare myself with how much this all fits.

>>7547682
Well, the Bible is listed as an inspiration for Exalted.

How do world governments deal with Exalts?

>>7547598
>>7547653

Or Little Beam, a celestial god with an amazing boast: he is the son of the Unconquered Sun. No correction has been forthcoming from Sol Invictus.

Also, Destiny Sponsorship by way of Saturn, the Maiden of Endings, who is confirmed for SUPER Tsundere for UCS, making it possible he is both the son of deaths that make way for new births AND the morally unimpeachable definition of excellence.

I still like that the UCS was made to define what 'evil' was by being the opposing definition/defining the Dragon's Shadow.

It seems like being anything but a moderately powerful exalt wouldn't stop you from getting shot in the dome.

>>7547809

I'm pretty sure a Heroic Mortal could deflect or at least dodge bullets. Not all the time, and if he was built to favour Dex, obviously.

A starting Solar shouldn't have too much trouble.

>>7547809

No, but Second Dodge Excellency, Infinite Dodge Mastery, and Flow Like Blood say hi.

I think the advent of guns should be a great leveller between humans and the supernatural. It's a purely mechanical process, possibly deriving from an Autocthonian incursion, which doesn't actually incorporate Essence and hence can't be used in conjunction with Charms. It is something humans can do that Exalts can't do better.

>>7547871

Except for multiplying bullets in midair.

I doubt firing homing bullets aren't hard, or better yet, homing bullets that pierce anything to reach the intended target.

>>7547715

By being governed by exalted.

Terrifying Lust Infliction = Instantly leading in the poles.

>>7547871

>doesn't actually incorporate Essence

Creation is made of essence. There is nothing that doesn't incorporate essence.

>>7548121

I think he meant that there is no "flow" of essence involved: the firing of a bullet is a purely mechanical/scientific process, which does suggest Autocthon has his hand in it somehow. However, once the bullet is in motion, I doubt there would be much stopping an Exalt stacking a few charms on it to up its potency. Hell, why not have the bullets made from the mystical matericals? Glorious Solar Orichalcum Bullets fuck yeah!

>>7548121

Not if the means for making it come from outside of Creation. Who knows what freaking shit Autocthon found while he was out there?

>>7548163

Anyway, Creation already has/had guns back in the first age. See: Wonders of the Lost Age.

>>7548180

Okay, how about the means and methods for nukes come from the Wyld? I dont think small arms should count.

I agree that there should be some factors of modern technology that make Mortals a little more of a challenge for a Solar, though.

>>7548224

Or that nuclear anything is simply an attempt to weaponise the Wyld or use it as a power source.

>>7548224

Enlighten your essence, then learn gun-fu terrestrial martial art.

>>7548224
>factors of modern technology that make Mortals a little more of a challenge for a Solar

Damnit now I've got this mental image of a Dragon Blooded SWAT team storming the home of a Solar circle!

>>7548271
Which is awesome.

What about depleted uranium shells?

>>7548271
They do that in one of the comics in Infernals. Unfortunately they then get HELLSTRIDER'D!

>>7548270
Righteous Devil Style?