>>7420335
Holy fuck, I'm Samus!

(Search your heart, you know it to be true.)

I get back in the kitchen and make him a sammich.

YOUR MISSION: Become a villainess so powerful it requires the villain to defeat you. At the end to avert your world-ending catastrophe... HE HAS TO MARRY YOU.
This plan CANNOT FAIL.

I tug my BRAID and smooth my SKIRT

>>7420344
That's Winry Rockbell, actually...

So pretty much.

we realy need to make sure hes not getting his rocks off with random wenches on his travels.
id say that was first priority.
do we know spells ourselves? could we cast a chastity seal on his penis? with his agreement of course.

Wait, I'm 26 and I look like that?

Dayumn, what am I, an Elf?

You are at home in the Living Room. Doors lead to the Outside, your Bedroom, the Kitchen and the Basement.

Your hero boyfriend is coming for a visit in 5 turns.

You have: 1 Apron, 1 Hair Clip, 1 bunny slippers

What do you do?

>>7420375
We're an anime character

so kinda the same thing

>>7420349
more like, becomes a villouness so powerful the only man in the land who can defeat us is, our man.
we then form a pact, and rule over both sides of light and dark, the world is at peace for our lifetimes!

is what i do

Get into genetic engineering.
"marriage" and "sex" are outdated and inefficient concepts. You can simply create your own children, stronger and more intelligent than everything the world has ever seen! The world shall tremble at the very mention of the hive-Spawn of Queen Winry!

>>7420376
We're wearing nothing but an apron and bunny slippers?

This... this actually has the potential to be a REALLY COOL QUEST.

I read the title line and thought you were trolling, but it looks like you've actually put some thought into this.

>>7420385
This.

>>7420347

You are in the kitchen, you see many KNIVES.
There is BREAD. There is MEAT. there is LETTUCE. There is VEGETABLES.
The stove is cold. You rarely cook since you live alone and prefer to eat out.

>>7420402
Make sammich, a real good sammich.
>>7420391
A SEXY SAMMICH!

>>7420349
GENIUS

>>7420349
Best plan ever

>>7420402
I put the MEAT inside the BREAD.

>>7420391


You are wearing bunny slippers and an apron. Maybe he'll pay more attention to you this way.

>>7420402
Take KNIFE. Take BREAD. Take VEGETABLES. Take LETTUCE. Take MEAT. Use KNIFE to slice BREAD, MEAT, LETTUCE, VEGETABLES. Make SAMMICH.

>>7420392
I thought the same thing.

If only I wasn't too dog tired and insomniatic to participate properly.

BUT! Go adventuring with our collective husband. If he won't come to us, we'll come to him. If he objects to having his wife tag along, well, we're in the KITCHEN and there are many sharp KNIVES.

>>7420402
Let the meat rot and put it outside to attract insects. Catch the insects and bring them to the laboratory for experimentation.

>>7420402
Especially because I'm kind of skeptical of this quest. 'oooo you're a girl now get in the kitchen.'

May be better than it lets on.

>>7420430
>>7420420


You have prepared a MEATBREAD. You are still in the kitchen. You are wearing bunny slippers and an APRON.

Boyfriend will arrive in 4 turns.

>>7420344
>Holy fuck, I'm Agrias!
>Holy fuck, I'm Saber!

>pic related: you kinda look like this.

I'm finally hot.

MASTURBATE FURIOUSLY with the elongated shape of one of the VEGETABLES. Then slice it up and make a lunch with some fried MEAT and since you're CARB CONSCIOUS, wrap it in LETTUCE. Bring the bread anyway to share. LET'S GO OUTSIDE

>>7420431
We should TAKE INVENTORY to determine available ASSETS. (Not referring to our body.) We should also review our FRIENDS and CONTACTS so that we know who might be helpful in preparing for our boyfriend's arrival.

>>7420443
Take SAMMICH to living room. Remove APRON. Wait for boyfriend.

>>7420335
needs to become this, how do we get there

>>7420349


You have decided that the ONLY way you can get his attention is to involve yourself in his professional life. As the enemy.

You are now convinced that only by threatening to destroy the world will he pay attention to you.

You are now thinking of threatening him with the KnIFE in the KITCHEN, or perhaps down to the basement and take a look through the various forbidden magic items he has "seized" from various evil villains.

Boyfriend will arrive in 4 turns.

Go down to the BASEMENT and search FORBIDDEN MAGIC TOMES

>>7420467
>take a look through the various forbidden magic items he has "seized" from various evil villains
That sounds promising, but how will we determine which ones are relatively safe to use? We must find a FRIEND who can give us RELIABLE COUNSEL regarding EVIL ARTIFACTS. Do we have any SORORITY SISTERS from our college days, now in dark-magic-related fields, who we might call up and ask for help?

We need a DISGUISE so he won't know it is us until the RIGHT TIME (ie wedding night)

HNNNNGGGG EVIL DOMINATRIX VILLAIN GIRLFRIEND
ITS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE
I HOPE THIS PRODUCES DECENT FANART

he will never see it coming

>>7420448


With a silent gasp (he loves it when you bite the pillows and it's become a habit) you shiver on the couch, your body consumed by pleasure as you climax to the vegetables.

Boyfriend will arrive in 4 Turns.

You assemble your tainted sammich, and walk out the door. You are outside the house your boyfriend bought you with the reward money for succeeding in his quest. It is rather spacious with a well-decorated lawn. You like doing some gardening as it passes the time spent alone. Past the fence, a long path leads to the road to the nearby town.

Boyfriend will arrive in 3 turns. You can see a lone figure walking towards the house. You suppose it's him by the way he's walking.

you have Bunny slippers, apron, tainted sammich and hair clip.

>>7420490
I suggest we get ourselves a serf and use it as a guinea pig. Remember: it's not murder if it's a serf.

>>7420457
>remove apron
but... but... but... but...
Hadaka Apuron....

also, evil tomes sounds 'promising'

>>7420490
We don't have time for anything like that. We need to either confront him now or get down to the basement and start messing with things

>>7420516
you rang?

>>7420457


You are sitting nude on your couch. You still wear your hair clip. The sammich is nicely put on an expensive bone china plate on the coffee table.

Boyfriend will arrive in3 turns.

>>7420484
Due to an accident with the FORBIDDEN MAGIC TOMES you are transformed.

summon this fucker

>>7420535
why must you destroy everything pure?

>>7420490

Your friend Sarah from school did go join a coven, she would be somewhere in the nearby TOWN.

Boyfriend will arrive in 2 turns.

>>7420535
This is why questfags should at least use a tripcode.

>>7420541


OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT GET IT AWAY FROM ME

>>7420528
Get PUSSY warmed up, so the boyfriend doesn't need to do much.

Fine, here's a tripcode. can someone else take the " i go to the basement for evil magic books" line please?

>>7420544
Excellent. There's no time to call SARAH now, since our boyfriend is so close, but if we can't convince him to marry us during this visit she'll be our first move afterward.

For now, don some SEXY CLOTHES.

>>7420564
again...
HA - DA - KA A - Pu - RO- N

>>7420559
Nope, you're stuck with it.

>>7420564


You'd have to go upstairs for the sexy clothes.
You get your slinky red silk negligee, which you think contrasts well with your hair and eyes. Your skin's a little pale from being indoors so much, but you hope he wouldn't mind.

Boyfriend will arrive next turn.

>>7420484


Boyfriend will arrive in 4 turns.

It's really, really dark in here. Lots of strange wands, rings in a drawer. Stuffed monster heads are mounted on the walls, since you hate looking at them you told him he can't place those things in the living room.

You see this book
>>7420526
tied up with string.

You see something called a "wish scroll"

You see a little red pixie thing in a bottle. It is awake and watching you quietly.

>>7420577
Run around house double-checking that nothing is terribly out of place prior to his arrival, then stand at window waiting for him to walk up.

>>7420552


roll 1d6. odd number means you get your pussy wet and eager for his touch.

even number means you blew it and you came prematurely.

boyfriend arrives in 2 turns.

Let us search the forbidden Mahjong tomes first.

>>7420577
>>7420596
theres been a slight time shift here.
do i sense time magic sitrring deep within me i have yet to uncover?
search for the section in the book under the heading "time"

rolled 2 = 2

>>7420605

>>7420609


you find nothing. 2 turns. you're still in the basement.

rolled 2 = 2

>>7420605

>>7420622
>>7420630

And you come prematurely, twice. Way to go.

>>7420622
Well fuck

>>7420622


You blew it! You came hard, your fingers not able to stop themselves as you plunge deeper into yourself going faster and faster until you jerk and shiver in delicious climax.

As the sensation dies down, you find the living room smells of your own perverted lust. You hope that you didn't squirt on the sammich you made on the coffee table. Your legs are spread open and your inner thighs and fingers are still moist with your lustjuices.

You hear a knock on the door.

>>7420636


don't blame him, it's his first time as a girl.

>>7420644
Open the door without changing anything.

>>7420654

roll 1d6

odd is good
even is bad

>>7420610
have we forgotten about becoming evil in preferance to masturbation?
get a grip woman!

>>7420658
Fuck off you're not the GM

>>7420654

roll 1d6, nigger.

rolled 1 = 1

>>7420666
No, YOU roll 1d6!

>>7420666
Nice try satan I'm not rolling

We should talk. We have so much in common.

>>7420666
rolled here >>7420675
hurry up man

>>7420673

Anon really sucks at the dice.

In your eagerness to meet your boyfriend again, you've forgotten one important thing: he has a lot of enemies.

When you open the door, what you is not your boyfriend, but instead a 6'4 tall, heavily muscled, sweaty, red haired, one-eyed Viking.

"And now both of you will pay for defeating my invasion!" he roared, grabbing you by the neck and pushing you inside the house. Slamming and bolting the door, with one hand and choking you with the other, he pushes you against the wall.

"I'm going to make him pay.. but first ... you have a purty mouth," he leers.

>>7420715
Take HAIRPIN stab (the healthy)EYE

>>7420715
KNEE TO BALLS, FOOT TO SHIN, TEETH TO ARM.

WALKIN ABOOT WITH YER HEADS FULL O' EYES

>>7420724
>>7420720


the big viking roars back, and releases you, not so much in pain as surprise.

You've bought a few precious seconds.

You consider running away to the kitchen to arm yourself, but you hear knocking on the front door. It has to be your boyfriend!

rolled 13 = 13

>>7420715

PUNCH HIM IN THE DICK

>>7420715
No, YOU forgot he has a lot of enemies! If you don't tell us, we can't hold it into account.
This would've never happened if you guys would have just followed my perfect plan of creating our own sun which is a swarm of insects with a single hivemind. But nooooooo! You had to go schlick, didn't you?

>>7420610

You don't see anything about "time"
the pixie thing in the bottle is asking you what do you want?

2 turns before boyfriend arrives.

>>7420754
open bottle

>>7420755


You kick your opponent in the balls. He cries out in a high pitched whine and falls to the floor, foaming at the mouth and incapacitated.

You can kill him now or let the boyfriend do it.

>>7420754
definetly a time shift going on here.
ask the pixie if she knows of ways to kill one eyes vikings. as you have a feeling you will be having a run in with one rather soon.

>>7420744
CONTINUE FEMININE ASSAULT

FOOT TO CROTCH, FINGERS IN EYES, FOOT TO DOOR TO KICK IT OPEN, SCREAM RAPE AS LOUD AS YOU FUCKING CAN.

>>7420754
Theres a viking and he's really into pixies if you shrink him down I can promiss you he will show you a good time.

>>7420763
Kill-kill the man-thing!

>>7420744
take KNIFE walk around VIKINGFAG and stab him whenever you get to his back

>>7420760


The pixie thing flies out and laughs "free at last, free at last thank god almighty free at last!"

It's looking at you.. asks "why?"

>>7420778
i forgot to ask the VIKINGFAG is blind now right?

>bofriend walks in
>i am naked
>room stinks of female juices
>grappling with a burly viking
I CAN EXPLAIN

>>7420779
I need whatever power you can grant me in order to become an evil power so that I can seduce my adventuring boyfriend and get him into a quiet household life.

>>7420778
>>7420774


You have slain the viking thing. At least he doesn't seem to be breathing. With a small smile of satisfaction you go to the door and unlock it.

Your boyfriend has a bunch of flowers for you, but he dropped it in shock at seeing the dead guy in the room, your own state of undress .. and the faint smell of female cum in the living room.

For once, he is at a loss for words.

Pic related.

>>7420796
I CAN EXPLAIN

Wait a minute! I've got a brilliant idea! Whyy not rearrange him so he looks like our boyfriend, and cut off his arms and legs so he can't escape! He'll be with us for ever and ever and ever and it'll be so fun!

>>7420796
tell him you were getting a surprise ready for him and the viking came in and attempted to rape you, so you killed him. Make sure to sob and tell him how scary it was.

>>7420796

"I was getting ready for you, but this guy came in and tried to kill me. So I killed him. Or at least, I think he's dead. So how are you, honey?

>>7420796
imbue guilth in him by saying "your enemies are after me, you should settle down and keep me safe" or something as annoying that woman can say to get her way

>>7420818
And that the faerie was set free in the ensuing struggle.

>>7420809
remember youre a woman, thats a man replique

>>7420818
>>7420820


Your boyfriend stammers "I.. I'm sorry.. I should have come earlier. But I'm still in the middle of a quest and It's hard to take a few days off, you know.. how it was.."

>>7420850
hug boyfriend
tell him he should stay home more often to stop things like this from happening.

Flood control's getting me guys

>>7420831

no, that's another path. In this one, you never went down there.

>>7420809

Boyfriend doesn't look too happy. Arms folded, he looks at you and says "All right. Explain."

You just realize that the dead viking was built more manly than your boyfriend. Perhaps he sounded a little jealous?

>>7420791

The fairy thing looks at you as if you were some dumb bimbo. "Ok.. I understand power.. I don't understand this quiet married life thing. But that's fine.. Why not be a Lich? I used to serve one so I know a lot about Liches and anything they're MADE of power."

>>7420850

Get up close to him, say "You know, dear, I was soooo scared when this guy came for me. If I hadn't kicked him in the crotch, poked out his eyes and stabbed him to death I wouldn't know what I would've done! I don't feel safe here any more. We don't spend enough time together. Take me questing with you."

"One day, I'll be attacked and you won't be 5 minutes down the road to save me. One day, you'll come home and everything will be on fire and I'll be dead and mutilated. You're making powerful enemies and those enemies will come after me too. It's time that you stop thinking only about how fun adventuring is and to start thinking of what you need to do for the people who care about you. Being a hero is more than killing the bad guys and looting their stuff, it's about doing what's right and taking care of what's important.

Am I important to you?"

That last line is the real clincher.

>>7420874
Lich? Like a zombie? Uh, no, I need to have all my squishy bits so that we can still have sex after he beats me and all that jazz.

Can you teach me enough magic so that I can make a threat of myself?

>>7420879


Wow. Are you a real woman?

>>7420850
Ask him what quest he was on.
Also, suggest that, as he's not getting any younger, it might be time for him to stay here and train the next generation of heroes. Otherwise, the world might be short if he does die. And there aren't too many around in the first place.

>>7420874
No.

Become Red Dragon of the shapeshifting variety(preferably not in front of boyfriend)
???
PROFIT!!!

>>7420878
THIIIIIIIIIIS

>>7420897
No. I've just watched a lot of shitty anime and browse /r9k/ alot.

>>7420879

Man that is NOT fair, NOT fair at ALL.

Saved for when I need to screw over a PC though.

>>7420879
you would make a good woman.
its stuff like this that really gets e going, guilt tripping me into stuff, god its so hot.
every other guy complains though, guess im lucky to like this.
we have 2 paths? confusing.
whats the plan /tg/? i have no idea what to do with this situation.

>>7420879
That post it dripping with estrogens

Wow what a shitty quest.

>>7420889

The pixie shrugs.. "I've never had to teach anyone magic before actually.. My job was to collect material components.. sometimes the Master would let me read some of the books he's memorized but that's it."

>>7420902

The pixie thing laughs.. "No that's not really possible. You're a human. You can't become a dragon.. unless you want to make a Wish.."

As you look on in puzzlement, the pixie points its finger at the scroll marked "WISH scroll"

With a faint buzzing it makes its way up the basement, you hear it making its escape through the chimney.

>>7420897
>>7420920
>>7420923
>>7420930
:3

>>7420938
Well, you collected components, can you tell me the good spots for finding powerful stuff then? That'll be a good start, knowing where to find things.

> we have 2 paths? confusing.

yeah, one path has you going into the basement looking for power to become EVIL WITCH

the other one had you making a sammich and nearly getting rapekilled.

>>7420938
haha! wish scroll wish scroll!
i wish i may, i wish i might, become a sulty world conquering time mage tonight!
fuck becoming a dragon, what is this? fursona fantasy fulfilment quest?

>>7420949


The pixie giggles, a disturbing sound indeed.

Then you hear a knock on the door.

"Shit. hide me. Meet me in here at midnight when he's gone," the pixie says, looking a little worried now.
"AND I AM NOT GOING IN THERE AGAIN! " it shrieks at you, flying away from the bottle.

>>7420938
RED DRAGON WISHING TIME

NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG

>>7420964
ask it to hide between your clevage

>>7420964
I was tempted to hide it between my breasts, but she would probably be quickly discovered.

Toss the apron on top of her and pose seductively.

>>7420974

You now have PIXIE hiding under your apron, quietly nudging between your breasts.

You hear knocking at the door.

>>7420966
>>7420955

As you pick up the WISH scroll, you hear knocking at the door.

You're curious about this scroll , wondering whether to read it now or entertain the boyfriend first. No idea how long he'll stay THIS time, though.

>>7420879


oh god, this is so ggod. I'll come back to this later.

>>7420992
Read scroll later, tell pixe to keep head down answer door

>>7420992
wish scroll goes in our shoe.
when boyfriend comes in tell him you just want to snuggle tonight, no taking off of clothes, just chilling cuddles.

>>7421003

It's best if you keep 1 path to a thread from now on. Name it Girlfriend Quest A path and Girlfriend Quest B path or something. Otherwise it gets confusing.

>>7420992
Is the pixie male or female? This is important.

Do our best to dissuade him from removing apron. Welcome him in, give him sammich, have him sit down and ask him about his adventures. If he get's "all riled up" just get on your knees and do what women were made to do.

>>7421015
>>7421013

You tell the pixie to hide in the basement. Hopefully he doesn't notice it out of the bottle. You take the WISH scroll and hide it under your bunny slippers.

You climb out the basement, close the door behind you and answer the door.

No mad viking, that's the other path.

You see your boyfriend, a little battered and muddy but very , very happy to see you. He hands you a bunch of FLOWERS and opens his arms wide to hug you.

You notice that the FLOWERS look like the ones that grow beside the road to town.

You hug him, he needs a bath. He tells you he misses you so much he is taking a break from his quest to defeat the Vampire Lord that's been terrorizing the villagers to the East of your country. he just wanted to see you once more.

You let him in. He tiredly flops on the couch. He empties his backpack and places a bag of 50 gold coins on the table. "Orc loot" he says.."Or in our case, food and clothes for both of us for the entire year".

Oh, and the King wants you to have this, he says, handing you a diamond-encrusted Tiara. "It's for the ffeast in two months, hopefully I defeat the Vampire Lord by then. You'll be so beautiful in the King's court, wearing that white dress and that Tiara!, All the ladies will be jealous!"

>>7421027


ok, from this point on, this thread assumes you went into the basement. There'll be another thread for the sandwich path or if someone wants to GM that, please feel free)

>>7421045


it's a androgynous thing. It's red, naked, looks like a faggot elf with wings. You see no breasts or penis, not that you're inclined to look closely. It's in your cleavage anyway.

>>7421056
Having an adventurer husband has its perks doesn't it.

I'm the one going for the evil-girlfriend bit. As soon as he takes a nap, take the money, tiara and pixie and whatever adventuring equipment we can steal in that window of time. Follow the pixie's directions to good item locations. We can load up on stuff and use it as bartering to apprentice ourselves to a wizard.

Learn a few good spells and lets impress some barbarians into our service.

>>7421079
Ok.

Ensure that breasts bounce and roll around while moving, but don't smush it. See if we can arouse it. Then continue with >>7421082

>>7421079
Can I ask it out of curiousity?

The time is 11.30 pm.

Your boyfriend is asleep. You have a foul taste in your mouth. It's obvious he's been eating wild game.

You are dressed in your nightgown. You are carrying a candle. There's a wish scroll hidden in your bunny slippers. You also have your boyfriend's backpack. Since you suffer a -4 STR penalty, you've decided to carry along the following items:

50 gold coins
tiara
Knife
Boyfriend's spare leather armor/vest. A little too big for you.


The pixie tells you it was born from a flower and has no concept of gender. However it likes nestling between your breasts (nice and warm). It agrees to show you where it usually forages for spell ingredients in exchange for letting it free after a week. Its name is Tir.

It asks you, "why do you seek power, miss?"

>>7421153
Tell it the truth your man won't commit to a marrige so your doing what anny woman would do use power to force him.

Also ask it if it would like to be our aid.

I imagine the a devil on the right shoulder narrating the events of EVUL SUPERVILLAIN path , meanwhile the angel on the left pursues a more level headed scenario o f passive aggression and
this
>>7420810
We are one FUCKED up broad

>>7421153
"Well, at first I had this crazy plan to become some kind of evil wizard to trick my boyfriend into giving up adventuring and settling down, but now that I'm stealing and sneaking out, this whole "bad" thing is a lot of fun!

I wanna get powerful so I can do more bad things and have fun while doing them."

Take the shit and sneak out of the house. Leave some kind of note saying you've been kidnapped by some horrible monster from beyond the dimensions for a nefarious purpose.

Save that wish scroll for a moment when we really fucking need it.

Head out to the nearest grocers to stock up on provisions, then follow pixie's directions.

I ask the pixie about "liches" since it was talking abotu them earlier. They seem powerful and I want in on this exclusive club.

>>7420879
>>7421179
Me here. If you want more psuedo-girl goodness, you'll have to wait for later today. It's 7 AM and time for me to go to bed.

G'night.

BECOME LICH

Advicewizard.jpg

MAKE HERO'S PENIS YOUR PHYLACTERY.

>>7421234


it's not worth 10,000 gp.

>>7421240

Enchant it.

>>7421194
being a lich is no good unless we get to stay squishy.
ask if we get to stay squishy.
ask if the pixie knows of any tailors that wouldnt raise any eyebrows if we asked for a mage/dominatrix/sulty dress combo?
we cant become all powerful in a nightie. well, we could but...

>>7421262

FLAWLESS VICTORY

>>7421255

POLYMORPH.

GOSH!

>>7421179
>>7421169

The time is 1 am. You are out in the woods. You are dressed in your boyfriend's padded leather vest, which goes down to mid-thigh for you.

You have a scroll marked WISH carefully hidden in your travelling boots. You have an adventurer's backpack containign 50 gold pieces and a diamond tiara. You have a knife with you for self defense.

The pixie from the basement looks at you quizzically. As it doesn't have a gender, you notice that it doesn't really get your talk of marriage and abandonment.

However it does seem to understand your desire for power for its own sake. It says humans tend to want this power thing a lot, not that it cares why humans would want such things. Perhaps it's like eating? it asks you.

It notices your growing excitement as it takes you through the woods, gathering various flowers and roots required for spell components.

"I still can't teach you magic, I've never taught anyone before," it says as you fill your pack with a handful of magic mushrooms.

"Now, I don't really know what's this "bad" thing you were talking about, either, it says. Is it an enjoyable thing? My master sometimes says he's been bad and then he just laughs and laughs non stop for an hour or so then he goes off to study."

"My previous master? He said he was a lich. He said he existed for the purpose of gaining power and knowledge and solving the mysteries of the universe. He used to live in this old underground dungeon complex ... he hated going out so he had me go get things for him. I don't know what else he does. But usually some ... things visit him late at night and they talk about things I don't care about then they're out again by dawn and usually he tells me to get things then."

Then that man came along and he bashed my master's head in with a hammer. Didn't say or do anything else but stuff me in that bottle.. and then you found me.

IT's good to be free.

>>7421255


"Uh, no.. Master was a little.. thin.. not soft like you.. all dusty and musty .. rough to the touch.."

it brightens up a bit

"but Master always gives me this chocolate three times a day! It's very tasty! Do you like chocolate too , man? "

i am no man. i am a woman, through and through, voluptuous and smooth.
lets go seduce a man and kill him in his bed so we have a nice place to sleep before we use this town for goods and move on.

Going to sleep. someone else take over or whatever

I become sandwich. He cannot resist my charms anymore so he hangs about.

>>7421461


You walk around a while, guided by the pixie, and after an couple of hours, you arrive in a clearing in the woods. There is a small wooden cottage here. There are lights in the window. The crest of the King's Forest Rangers is nailed on the door.

Your heart starts to pound in your ample chest. You've .. never actually done anything .. BAD before.

Do you still want to seduce the ranger and kill him or ask him to let you sleep there unharmed?

Why are you doing this, tg?

>>7422581
We must amplify our seduction powers to attract our future mate. This weakling will be ample practice.

>>7422581
Seduce and kill! Rip and tear!

>He's got to settle down and accept his responsibilities as a husband and father at all costs!

You are a bad girlfriend.

>>7422630

BLOOD AND THUNDER!
VICTORY AT SEA!

>>7422635
Is the cottage suddenly at the sea? Is this some woman girlfriend power?

>>7422644

It's a reference to oglaf.com

>>7422631
FUCK YEAR PLANETES

>>7422631

> You are a bad girlfriend.

About to cross over into Lawful Evil girlfriend actually

>>7422581
Seduce the fiend

>>7422629

Driven by your new desire to acquire power, more and more POWER, so that you can finally get that useless lump of a boyfriend to pay attention to you, you knock on the door.

the Ranger opens the door and sees you shivering pathetically in the night air. You've hidden a knife under your shirt, which just happens to be .. ripped.. at the right places.

Your fairy companion is hiding above the doorway, out of sight. You make your most desperate and sad face "Please sir," you say, "I'm lost, I can't find my friends, and.. I'm scared.. please sir, will you let me stay with you?"

The ranger, a big, hairy man dressed in his pajamas, one hand , you now notice, gripping a big, heavy axe just behind the door. He smells of pinecones and sweat.

He nods, "all right, come on in, little girl."

He points to the rug near his fireplace and tells you to sleep there. He will stay awake and "keep watch".

You lay down as instructed, facing away from him, curling into a seductive ball, letting him see the shape of your hips and your bare legs rubbing against each other as you try to 'keep warm'.

You smile a little , feeling that your scheme is working.

>>7422814
Rip and tear!

>>7422814
Now we wait for the time to strike.

You hear his heavy footsteps.. then feel his heavy, meaty hands on your shoulder.

"Oh, on second thought.. why not you come lie down somewhere a little more comfortable? " he asks. You see that familiar glint of lust in his eyes.

You are a little unsure of this. Do you seduce him first or just kill him now?

Now he's gently pushing you down on to his bed. It doesn't smell as nice as your boyfriend's bed you shared together in the good old days, but it's better than the floor. He lies next to you. His rough hand innocently brushing against your knee.

>>7422880
Rip and tear I tell you!

archive/update this shit every once inawhile

Pretend to be a BBEG

Fight the Hero

Prove a Point

Get Married

Game Set Match

>>7422898

Instead of seducing him like originally planned, the feel of his hand on your smooth skin fills you with disgust. Screaming "get off me you RAPIST!!!" you shriek, and get up into a sitting position, drawing the knife you have hidden underneath your shirt and stabbing him in the gut , deep and into the hilt.

He just registers a look of shock and falls to the floor, twitching pathetically as his lifeblood ebbs away.

You may have committed an evil deed... you were probably planning to kill him but you're not so sure now.

The dying man is on the floor. There is an axe on the floor. Something is boiling in a pot on the fireplace.

>>7422880
>>7422859
Kill him now.

>>7422972

you just stabbed him

>>7422952
Kill him dead! Make sure he can't tell it was us, then flee the scene!

>>7422980
Delayed post.

>>7422983

You pick up the axe.

The man looks at you with a pleading look for mercy.

You have none. It takes a few strikes but you have decapitated your potential rapist.

Your fairy companion flies in through the window.

"That's just like what Master's golem used to do to people who visit him uninvited, " it said, simply.

>>7423006
Call his family and cook him. After nice meal, they ask where your soon-to-be husband is and when the weddings are.
"Well...since he is in your stomachs right now, the weddings are going to be quite difficult..."

just as planned...

>>7423006
Perhaps giving ourselves some bruises to make it look like an attempted rape could be in order, then look through the cottage.

>>7423032


beating yourself up with a stick .. hurts. but strangely it's not really a bad kind of hurt.

You now are a little bruised.

You see some money, the ranger's huge axe , almost too heavy for you to swing now that you've calmed down. He was boiling some roots, probably to drink later on.

Your fairy companion looks at the pot, "oh i remember this, if you add the mushrooms and roots we took earlier you'll make a gelatinous cube".

"what's that ?" you ask.

"Something the master uses to .. clean up"

There's nothing else of interest in the cottage.

Do you make a gelatinous cube?
Do you leave, having failed to increase your powers of seduction?

>>7423074
I guess put mushrooms in the pot, see if there's anything else of use aswell. Perhaps checking what time it is.

>>7423113

It's in the dark hours of the early morning. You've ran away from your boyfriend for a few hours now.

You toss the mushrooms into the pot. Immediately it bubbles over, the broth turning thicker , more gelatinous, its volume increasing until it begins to boil over.

Transfixed by this (you've never seen anything actually magical before), you watch, as the stuff pours itself out of the pot, and reshapes itself into a transparent gelatinous cube.

"Come here" you say, and it moves ... slowly at first, shivering and shaking as it inches towards you, leaving a clear trail of slime on the floor.

You now have 1 fairy and 1 gelatinous cube. You have committed an evil act in killing a man. Surprisingly you don't feel much different from before.

>>7423144
Make it clean the ripping and tearing we've done! See if there's anything else to do in the cottage or nearby.

>>7423181


You tell the gelatinous cube to eat the corpse.

It rolls over the body and with startling efficiency dissolves him. You can even see the bubbling and fizzling as the body is dissolved.

Other than the axe and money, you don't think there is anything interesting in here.

>>7423200
Take the money, clean off the knife. Lets burn this place, or leave it mysteriously abandoned. Maybe we can carve a mysterious message to our lover.

>>7423238

What message would you leave him?

>>7423251
"My heart has grown cold, your embrace no longer warms me. Alas, my only path is to warm it in spilled blood. Find yourself another lover to coddle you. As for me, I'll look for warmth."

>>7423251
Some cluttered ramblings involing references to marriage, perhaps. I personally, can't think of anything.

Hint at Fairy Tale rhymes as a red herring. Refer to the now dead man as the Huntsman from Little Red Riding Hood. Refer to yourself as Red and then to really get him confused, say you are going south only to head north.

>>7423381
ooh yes subtle hints!

>>7423281
Something that isn't this.

Seriously, don't start raising the stakes until we have acquired some significant power.

>>7423390
I'm working against the possibility he just won't take us seriously. So I'm shooting for something ominous that will set him after us.

Protip: Don't make a quest thread with a female character on /tg/.
Half of the "quest" will revolve around masturbation and making out with other females.
Normally I'm all for it but imagining the dirty neckbeards writing all this kind of kills it.

>>7423436
what are you gay

Thing is, once we become a powerful sorceress THEN we can track him down and set up a suitable evil plot in his path. Even if he has no idea what's up, theres a good chance he can cover ground faster than us, if we give him too much help he'll throw a spanner in our plans before we even become a dark and powerful sorceress.

>>7423456
Please refer to
>Normally I'm all for this
and
>Dirty neckbeards

Thank you.

>>7423471
so you're gay

>>7423464
Fine then, leave no message - we simply will vanish into the night, leaving our bewildered man no message - or we can pretend we were kidnapped by some BBEG and send him off on some wild goose chase.

>>7423581
He IS an adventurer, he'd be all over the classic "Damsel in distress" quest.

So: Pretend to be kidnapped by the vampire guy

Kill vampire, take over his shit.

Send minions to put up a convincing fight when his group show up (but dont kill any of them, he'll hate us then)

"Look what I had to do to get you to pay attention to me!"

Marriage.

>>7423581

You've already left a fake note saying you were kidnapped by an evil wizard.

You stand in the forest clearing, watching the ranger hut burn. It's kind of hard work, this arson thing. Maybe next time someone else should so the hard work of spreading flammables...

You leave a meaningless red herring riddle, carved into a tree. Maybe it won't be your boyfriend who sees this, but you've carved his name in there as well. He'll get the message.

You prepare to walk south, after saying that you're heading north to kill more. "for fun"

You are taking your fairy companion and gelatinous cube. You've learned one spell, so it's a good first step on your quest for power. Youve committed your first evil deed too.

>>7423601
I say kill his friends - show him that we are at his level - that WE CANNOT BE IGNORED!

>>7423623
ok, let's find a city then. Sell the tiara, and with the money get an armour and a better weapon.

>>7423631
Maybe, but he'd still might hate us if we killed his best friend, perhaps we could just get them at our mercy, James Bond villain style, then we come out in the best evil dress we can find, and reveal that we're behind the whole thing.

You are now heading east towards the area where the Vampire Lord is rumored to be. You've been walking for a few days.

You plan to gain power, defeat the vampire, and take over. Then you'll grow in power, and be as powerful as your boyfriend.

You have:

1 Knife
1 fairy
1 gelatinous cube
1 padded leather vest
1 backpack
1 diamond tiara
50 gold coins
1 scroll marked "WISH" hidden away in your boots.

Your fairy wants to leave you after the week has passed, it wants to go home, but it will stick with you for a few days more.

>>7423655
Or better still, capture them (his best friend), allow them to escape with the plans to our doomsday device, when in fact the plans are actually for the wedding (Which incidentally is the only way to stop the doomsday device)

>>7423623
Find a City. Lets become a face in the crowd, get some new clothes that are properly BBEG and mysterious - a cloak of some sort perhaps. Lets keep the tiara, a momento of our true desire, and lets find a better weapon - a slim but poisoned dagger maybe.

>>7423696
Oh and the dude who we capture gets to be best man.

>>7423678
What kind of vampire lord are we dealing with?

Is he a Ricean angst vampire? Is he the classic Belmont vs Dracula vampire? Sparkly retard vampire?

He got a castle?

>>7423678
see - >>7423706
Lets find some methods to kill Vampires too - get some garlic or a wooden stake or something.

>>7423706

You stop by a city - you have purchased the following:

1 slim Dagger
1 Black cloak with hidden pockets
1 vial of poison, good for 50 stabs.

you've spent 10 gold pieces.

Your fairy wants to leave you today.

>>7423753
Well, a deals a deal I suppose.

Any last tricks its willing to teach before we part?

>>7423721

You don't know. From your general knowledge, he could be a Nosferatu type, but boyfriend DID say "Vampire Lord" so you're thinking of all those fancy lords you've seen in the King's castle.. only they drink blood.

you could get more information from the city library... if you can spend the time.

>>7423753
Lets be appropriately BBEG - keep the critter imprisoned until we have all its knowledge. Get a magic case - or a bottle for it.

Lets also look for a book on dealing with Vampires, and also magic involving blood and steel/silver.

>>7423767


Your fairy tells you that you remind it so much of its old master, that you might even end up Ascending to a lich one day. You would need to commit some more evil deeds and complete the Ascension ritual first though, as far as it knows that what all liches have to do..

When you ask it for more information , it doesnt' know any more, but the old lich it used to serve had written down the process (perhaps for a deserving apprentice?) and the book is probably looted by adventurers and put into storage in the nearby adventurer's guild.. or perhaps in a magician's library.

>>7423809
We cant get married if we're a undead skeleton!

>>7423788

beat this score and you grab the creature before it can fly away.

rolled 1 = 1

>>7423822

uh, beat this

>>7423832

>>7423832

LOL.

... ok you grab the little thing before it can fly away. It is squirming in your hand as you look around your room for a suitable container.

roll 1d6, you successfully imprison the fucker if you get more than 4.

rolled 2 = 2

>>7423846

rolled 4 = 4

>>7423846
Here goes.

rolled 4 = 4

>>7423857
DAMN YOU!

ROLLAN.

>>7423846
And thus I just rolled 2 4's in a row.

>>7423857
>>7423864

it flies away from your grip just as you were about to reach a bottle. It flies out the window and speeds away, too fast for you to catch.

At least you still have your cube, hiding behind the inn, behind some rubbish.

rolled 2 = 2

>>7423879
FUCK

you've went back on your promise to the little creature. that wasn't a nice thing at all.

you've committed two evil deeds now. murder and betrayal.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO INNOCENT, PURE WINRY !?!?!??!

>>7423896
Let's find someone with a big dick, seduce him and then murder him!
Take the dick as a souvenir!

> Let's find someone with a big dick, seduce him and then murder him!

> imagining the dirty neckbeards writing all this kind of kills it.

>>7423902
We arent going to die a lonely spinster, God damnit, and if that means breaking the rules, SO BE IT.

>>7423909
>>7423723

you could spend the day studying at the library.. or you could.. do .. bad things.. what you did in the forest both horrifies you and.. excites you. it was such a rush, having a man's life in your hands, and snufffing it out like a cheap toy candle.

on the other hand, you need to make sense of this magic thing. Being able to create gelatinous cubes that obey you is a cool party trick but there has to be more than that...

>>7423948
Magic is more productive.

We need to be able to light vampires on fire from a distance.

why has this thread not died? :(

>>7423979
Because it is made of win. And a Quest thread.

>>7423989

by win you mean disgusting masturbation posts?

dude, it's written by a neckbeard. one of you...

>>7423885
Lets hit the books! STUDY MONTAGE!

This thread should start autosaging soon.

>>7424003
And you are one of us. How does that make you feel.

>>7424005

You've been feverishly studying. You now know basic vampire lore.

You know how to cast magic missile - although you can only get it to work 1/3rd of the time.

Your gelatinous cube looks a little dehydrated. perhaps you've been neglecting it?

Also, the librarians have been giving you funny looks ever since you started hanging out in the adventurer lore books section.. and going home only at night.

>>7424045
Get some water for the cube.

>>7424045
kill someone, give it to the Gianni the Gelatinous Cube

> Gianni the Gelatinous Cube

.....

>>7424045
Research care and feeding of gelatinous cubes.

>>7424064

it seems to have some effect, however it doesn't look as "healthy" as it was when you made it

>>7424054

they're totally obedient.. as long as you feed them. plant matter's fine but it's meat that makes them strong. if you neglect it too long it will wander off and absorb some rats or something.. anything.

>>7424087
Ok let's give some meat to Gianni.
Find someone, kill it, give it to Gianni the Gelatinous Cube.

>>7424093

fuck that noise. i buy cheap meat at the market and feed it to my cube.

>>7424087
Slaughter orphan and feed delicious orphan meat to cube.

>>7424087
I say its time to seduce another victim - lets pretend to be a prostitute, and without going too much into detail please - kill our "client" and feed his corpse to the cube - its nice to have something cleaning up after you to cover your tracks.

>>7424100
This. We're not short of money, and we're in a town- don't commit traceable crimes.

>>7424087
We cant just feed random people to the cube, town guard'll get suspicious, go for animal meat.

autosaging. looks like that's it fatguys.

>>7424144
See you next time then.

>>7424193

anyone want to take over?