I kinda wanted to see the little bugger all grown up

>>13132618
>Lizard of Guilt
Confiermed as my next DMC's familiar
Did not know it was a "she"

I didn't see her post yet, but she might be lurking.
Btw: this is about 3rd thread about Oglaf update. You won't find old ones, mods deletes them on sight. Despite being SFW this time.

How will he explain the "Eat shit! Love, assassins" message.

I support the piece of chalk. It should be a legendary item.

rolled 6, 6, 1, 1, 2 = 16

>>13132637
Closer to 6th. The first few 404d naturally. Then either someone started reporting them or the mod felt that oglaf was being spammed, which I tend to agree with. We don't need that many threads about the same update.

>>13132637

Okay then we will turn this thread into a discussion about weird items.

That arrow reminds me of the glowly ball thing from Men In Black. The one that caused the New York Blackout.

She's around in the same way Jessica Elwood is.

>>13132658
This was an exceptionally good update.

Sure beats a one-off dick joke.

>>13132660
Second, I need some for my Ghostbusters campaign. Anyone have items that might involve ghosts or hauntings?

rolled 3, 3, 4, 3, 5 = 18

>>13132679
I'll have to agree with you there. Really liked this one.

>>13132684
Oscar Peterson's haunted piano.

>>13132660

Poor Ivan, he was gonna get laid too.

HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU STOP THAT ARROW?

>>13132684
Yo-Yo Ma's cello

btw: Unsounded updated. And it looks like shit just got real!

>>13132718
Don't drop it.

>>13132718
You have to catch it.

>>13132720

But.....he isn't dead.

>>13132718
Gotta rip it outta whatever it buried itself in, then place it down gently on a surface.

>>13132728
Then make him dead.

>>13132660

Staff of Penis Alteration.

Randomly changes your penis in some way, shape or form. Could be as simple as making it bigger or smaller, to giving you a circumcision or turning into the penis of another creature.....any creature.

Protective cup of sexual magnetism

This athletic cup makes the wearer irresistible to both genders. This ability only functions while the cup is worn properly on the dick. Once removed, the wearer becomes disgusting and detestable to others for 24 hours

>>13132770

>>13132770

What would happen if the penis you received was from a creature that was much much larger then you. I'm thinking along the lines of an Ancient Red Dragon or something.

Does the Tarrasque have a gender?

>>13132770
>or turning into the penis of another creature.....any creature.
bad-dragon.com

Finger of fate
A ring that displaces any finger placed into it to the most convenient place possible, like a button or a trigger. However the user loses the finger.

>>13132827
>Finger of Fate
>Ring of Regeneration
>The world at your fingertips

>>13132827
Essentially acts as a crippling 10 use get out of jail card.

>>13132844
How do you hold it to put your finger in with only one finger left?

Potion of Tounges

There is a potion that makes one able to speak and understand any language he comes into contact with.
This is not that potion.

>>13132827
Good thing I always carry around this bag of severed fingers.

>>13132853
Teeth?

>>13132840
>>13132861
Fine, only accepts living, unaltered fingers. No penises either.

Staff of the perplexed

A staff that always works perfectly for whatever use you may have for it, however whenever wielding it, you fail to understand how to use it

I like this thread, bump

>>13132821
As I recall there's only ever one Terrasque, so... maybe?

Pumpkin of Protection.

When carried under one arm, this magical pumpkin grants all of the benefits of a +4 large shield.

The pumpkin can be carved, and a candle placed inside, allowing it to function as a hooded lantern.

The pumpkin rots after six days, becoming useless, but leaving behind a seed that can be planted to grow into a new pumpkin of protection. The seed requires fertile soil, water, and sunlight to grow. If none of these requirements are met, it remains a seed. Seed growth takes 1d4+4 hours. Casting Plant Growth on the seed halves its growing time.

>>13132888
So someone else has to tell you what to do with it?

>>13132972
Disarm opponent. Toss staff to unarmed opponent.

Pinata party.

>>13132886
So much for getting an eleventh use out of it.

Wait, does it matter whose fingers they are?

>>13132886
Can I use an animal's fingers?

>>13132960
Can I cut a hole in the bottom and wear it over my head as a helmet?

>>13132886
If you accidentally swallow it and it gets stuck in your colon... (or if you shove it up there yourself, I suppose...) will it displace your poop into these convenient locations? Say... onto the enemy or into his mouth?

>>13132721
that one guard got disarmed

>>13132886
doesn't stop the ring of regeneration.

"hey mystical shopkeep, we know how it works. show us the r e a l magical items you have."
"uhhh, yes, sure. well, here I have a uhhm highly magical rope. rumors say the great hero brian the reckless used it to tie his beaten enemies."
"awesome we take it"

Wand of Spell Turning

When activated, it announces "Turning: T-U-R-N-I-N-G, Turning."

That was like, THREE Oglaf comics in a row where it was just "thereisnojoke.jpg"

>>13133082
It took me a second to get that, that's amazing

>>13133105
Uhh, are you clicking on the epilogues?

>>13132741
>rope of hardons

>>13133037

I... really don't get this one. It seems more like the Arrow of Randomly Teleporting Into Shit So As To Cause Regret

>>13133174

I bet he regrets picking it up.

That doesn't make any fucking sense at all.
What is he regretting? Dropping the arrow?
Isn't it more like the Arrow of Teleporting So As To Kill Things Just To Fuck You Over? This is such a fucking terrible webcomic.

>>It seems more like the Arrow of Randomly Teleporting Into Shit So As To Cause Regret

What do you think "Arrow of Regret" meant? "Arrow that, when fired, will feel really really bad about killing whoever and/or missing entirely?"

'Sides, that's why he let it go straight down over a block of wood. How could he possibly regret dropping it where it couldn't do any harm?

>>13132813
Crossed: I ONLY READ MATURE WESTERN GRAPHIC NOVELS AS JAPANESE CARTOONS ARE FOR CHILDREN AND GIRLS

>>13133238
It makes the person who's killed regret, not the dropper.

As to why it keeps fucking teleporting around - who knows. Fucking bastard arrow.

>>13133255
Then call it the Teleporting Arrow of Regret, or something.
Why is this webcomic funny, again?

rolled 29896 = 29896

>>13133159

OH GOD YES.

If there was anything that deserves to be a meme.

>>13133275
Cuz people get tortured, maimed, raped, and murdered. LOL did you see that girl dying? Its funny because her cute body didn't save her in the end!

>>13133255
Actually it seems to do both.

It hits targets who have something to lose, but ALSO if you miss/hit something inanimate it causes the person who fires/drops/etc the arrow regret doing so.

>>13133255
This author doesn't seem to have a good grasp on magic, despite writing a fantasy webcomic. They seem to think that it means "it's magic, I don't got to explain shit" and use it to justify randum events.

>>13133290
Nah, you're just a whiny bitch who wants everything he reads to be 100% explainable and can't enjoy something for what it is.

>>13133290
>>13133281
So, /tg/ has shit taste.
Oh my lawds, say it's not so.

>>13133290

Or maybe because this comic isn't titled "the making of/origin story for the arrow of regret."

Of course it's whole backstory isn't going to be fucking explained.

>>13133280

>>13133307
I'm afraid neither of us have your refined sense of LMAO SO RANDUM XDDDDD humor.
Truly, I am ashamed.

>>13133317
>it's
This annoys me to no fucking end.

The outcome was something obviously regrettable. Why does it have to be more complicated than that?

>>13133316
It's unfortunate you have encountered people who have a differing opinion than you.

>>13133320

>>13133316
I was being sarcastic.

>>13132637
that is becuase the comic is fucking stupid

I hope they delete this one too

>>13133340
How do you regret dropping an arrow? It's not like it was a conscious choice.
This is just moronic.

>its magic. i ain't gotta explain shit.jpeg

>>13133339
It's almost 7am and I've not slept gramatical errors are to be expected.

So we're doing this now?

>>13133362
You regret dropping an arrow when it starts teleporting around killing people.

>>13133362
the arrow CAUSES something to regret.

you don't regret dropping the arrow until the out come.

just like you don't regret eating taco bell, because those burritos and tacos taste so good, but an hour or 2 later, when you got mudbutt and are shitting your brains out, you regret eating taco bell.

FUCK you are stupid.

>>13133362

>It's not like it was a conscious choice.

In the first part he very obviously made the "I wonder what happens if I do this?" CONSCIOUS CHOICE.

>>13133382
1rst panel should read:
"You will never be the little girl"

>>13133382
ok, I lol'd

>>13133362
DURR I AM REALLY REACHING FOR THINGS TO CRITICIZE ABOUT THIS COMIC

>>13133358
I know.
>>13133376
You don't think OH SHIT WHY DID I DROP THAT ARROW THIS IS ALL MY FAULT, you think WHAT THE FUCK HOLY SHIT WHAT THE DICK IS GOING ON WHY IS THAT ARROW KILLING PEOPLE.
It does not make you "regret" shit.

>>13133362
>>How do you regret dropping an arrow?
When doing so fucks over your life.

>>13133393
More like "fuck this thing, I'm going to drop it before it rapes my ass or something"

>>13133399
...It's the same reason I had before. The naming is utterly retarded and the joke is randum.

>>13133404
Pretty sure he regrets the outcome. You're still an idiot.

>>13133404
Have you noticed how he's freaking out that someone will find out it was his fault?

>>13133419
>>13133422
But it WASN'T his fault. At ALL.

template

>>13133381
you have a weak stomach

>>13133448

>>13133447
You can regret things you have no control over. However, he was at fault for fucking with the arrow to begin with. Not that it matters. Arrow of regret is gonna regret.

>>13133447
He touched a magical item that could've done anything in a place that has already proven to dick with him.

If he had not touched it, all this shit would never have happened.

But he did, ergo this is all his fault.

Does somebody really not get the Arrow of Regret or are they just trolling?

>>13133447
Do you REALLY think his boss is gonna give a shit that it technically wasn't his fault?

>>13133480
>>13133472
>>13133464
That doesn't make the joke any less strained and therefore shitty.

rolled 15544 = 15544

>>13133489
>I win an argument even when I lose

>>13133489
But the joke isn't strained! You're just retarded!

It's just a webcomic, slow your roll guys.

>>13133489

So in your humorless mind the only way for this to be an Arrow of Regret is for it to just cause you to feel regret for no reason only if you touch the arrow in any way?

>>13133515
If you squint, it kinda sorta makes sense maybe.
Which still does not explain all the deaths he could not have seen and therefore could not regret.
All in all, it's nonsensical and a shitty joke.

>>13133531

>it's nonsensical and a shitty joke.

OK say you're right: Who gives a shit?

>>13133528
If it was fucking REASONABLE. Fuck, maybe if he started playing with the thing and it makes itself fly out of his hands into the guard, sure. This is just stupid.

>>13133534
Why are you repeatedly posting this exact same fucking comic, then?

>>13133462
It's not the lizard of trolling. It's the lizard of guilt.

>>13133531
He regrets them AFTER he did it. You apparently don't regret things that are only accidentally or are indirectly your fault. That's why you probably don't get the joke.

ITT: asspies and asspies trying to explain jokes to original asspies.

It's actually kind of a joke in itself.

>>13133544
So the magical arrow you know nothing about other than its name needs to do something "reasonable".. like flying on its own.. rather than teleporting..

>>13133544
Look at the first page. He *deliberately* dropped the arrow in a manner in which it surely couldn't do any harm, taunting it to make him regret dropping it.

Then it teleported.

Into the guard.

Fuck.

>>13133568

Maybe he doesn't understand the difference between guilt and regret.

>>13133553

Sorry, I'm not the rival you were arguing with for the past half hour, I just walked into this thread asshat. So far all I could make out was you b'awwwing over a joke that you didn't like over a webcomic that you don't have to pay for and you don't have to read. Seriously, no one gives a shit if you don't like it.

Most of these Lizard of Guilt edits are trolling and not guilt.

ITT: the arrow of regret does its job.

>>13133592
Then STOP POSTING THIS SHIT.
I kinda have to see it if it's on the front page every other fucking day.

rolled 19385 = 19385

>>13133490

Fuck I lol'd.

Also, if people really don't get the joke, I really don't know what to say.

>>13133623
Welcome to the Hide Thread button. If you don't have one, get one if you're so easily annoyed.

>>13133623

If you get the greasemokney script you can hide and track thread as well as filter. Get it and use it.

>>13133478

Oh wow, I JUST got the joke in that comic. Subtle.

Protip:

It was the mistresses fault all along.

>>13133634
I do.
If something is being posted constantly, I believe I have a right to be annoyed, however.

>>13133608
Fixed it for you.

>>13133678
Fukken saved.

>>13133656
It's a bad decision.
He mislabeled it, as a bad decision.
She put the guy in with the magical shit, in a bad decision.
Where the subtlety, or indeed the joke?

>>13133665
>He thinks he has a right to be annoyed

Fuck I shouldn't have posted "Excuse me Princess" earlier

>>13133688

HOLY FUCK who pissed in your OJ this morning? Apparently whoever writes this webcomic

>>13133702
Why not?
What the fuck does this honestly have to do with anything?

speaking of oglaf

>>13133758

>>13133656

>>13133870
I've been wondering where all the oglaf fan art is.

I bump this because when I posted it it was deleted and I got butthurt.

>>13132618
fags who hate on oglaf probably all read questionable content or sum shit instead...

>>13137542
the janitor has to sleep sometime.

"think of it as juicing an ugly fruit"

>>13137631
Sup. I read (and enjoy both)

stoplikingwhatidont.jpg

>3 Oglaf threads deleted within minutes last night.

>12 hours later this one is still here.

>oglaf
>questionable content
>girls with slingshots
>the abominable charles christopher
>frea angels

occational good reading.

>>13137750
Guess where that fukken arrow is now.

>>13137767
oh it'll pop up in another strip

>>13137753
>frea angels
freak, even.

Here's why it's called the Arrow of Regret and why it keeps teleporting and killing shit.

It's an arrow, it's entire reason for existing is to kill shit. Arrows are, after all, not intended to be used for anything other than to be shot at things to kill them.

It's an arrow of regret, therefore it kills things that will make you regret their death.

The girl guard, the monster, the girl who was gonna screw him... he regrets them having died for various reasons. The arrow, for example, probably would not kill the sorceress because he'd not regret her death. Likewise, perfect strangers, it likely wouldn't go after them either.

Pretty simple really when you think about it.

>>13137847

But how did he know about the guard that was gonna screw him?

How can you regret something you don't even know exists?

>past, Staxie

Every time someone posts an Oglaf thread you get people swarming to say "there's no joke".

There is a joke. It might not be a good joke, but it's a joke.

Just shut up already. No-one is saying Oglaf is the best thing ever, but it has jokes in it.

>>13137631
See pic.
Also I enjoy both.
I'm such a tasteless subhuman, eh?

>>13137847
Now does the target of the regret change depending on you drops the arrow? The first time the arrow moved it went to the guard who was supposed to be guarding the little monster. She pulled it out of her neck, dropped it, and killed the thing when the arrow moved and was regretful for doing so. Still the guys regret or a new target each time it's dropped?

This thread made my night.

I really like Oglaf when it is good.

Things like the various fountain strips, this one, and ofcourse ULRIK! (pic related)

When it is just pointless homosexuality it is pretty shitty.

>>13138026
>I really like Oglaf when it is good.
>When it is just pointless homosexuality it is pretty shitty.
>completely missing the point
One of Oglaf's main themes is a fantasy lampooning of sexual themes in general, not just heterosexual sex. I'm a straight guy, but I can laugh at Kronar and other stuff because it's ironic humor and it's making a point.

>>13137930
It targets the thing that last person who dropped it would regret the most

>>13137725
>>13137753
>>13137905
sorry guys, no offense, i don't have a problem with people likin' WHATEVER, but without any hate or rage i would say that QC doesn't really stand out for having punchlines...plus it doesn't have art as good as oglaf...i guess i could've said CAD instead, but that would've been too easy...PLUS, there's no webcomic shitty enough to NOT have any fans...but anyway, QC is pretty shitty from an objective (as far as possible) point of view. but thats okay, some comics (or books, movies etc) that are shitty i can totally enjoy as well. but oglaf? more than decent quality, srsly.

>>13132660
didn't see that one - is it on the site?

>>13138150
>but anyway, QC is pretty shitty from an objective (as far as possible) point of view.

Dude.
There is NO objectivism in taste. (you could argue about being less detailed or anatomically correct, but that has nothing to do with the whole's effect on someone)
I like some of the strips, I like some of the characters. Why? Just because.
Yeah, one could easily conjure up some freudian shit regarding my oppressed sexuality and fetishes - or even my shitty taste (right) - but ultimately it boils down to "just because".

There are more colours in the world than black and white.

>>13137930
So the arrow hits the guard who wants to fuck the apprentice. It then hits the apprentice because of the effect his death would have on that guard.

Then the mistress catches the arrow, calls it a naughty boy, and sends the apprentice off to be healed. By one of those throat-slugs.

>>13138183
Yes. Occasionally when you reach the end of a set of comics, there will be the word Epilogue to the right. If you click that it will take you to the comic's epilogue. Often times this is where the real punchline is.

Have fun going through all the comics again.

inb4 someone puts the Lizard of Guilt in B^U comics.

I'm not entirely convinced that many of the dissenting "you have poor taste" posts are not being written by Oglaf's author as a joke in retaliation for bringing up the arrow of regret.

I am totally going to introduce the Lizard of Guilt into my campaign. I really hope they kill it too, so they can never escape it's piercing remarks.

>>13133238

Aspie detected. DERP IT'S NOT A PRECISE ENOUGH WORDING, HATRED FOREVER AND EVER.

>>13138084

Okay I shouldn't have been as harsh as saying it was shitty...and some of the homosexual stuff is funny like the ambassador pouring the antidote on his knob, and the barbarians totally messed up all male society.

I just personally tend to like the less sexually orientated stuff because they tend to be better thought out.

Course there are exceptions.

The arrow made him regret ever picking it up. Perfectly reasonable.

>>13132660

Where's that one from? I can't find it.

>>13141494
It's the epilogue to the latest one.

>>13132718
Have no potential regrets, then it will have nothing to kill.

It's threads like this that make me love /tg/


Also a new forced meme with that fucking lizard

btw, I don't get the Kronar one.


So, where did the wizard come from? Did the king get really old he was being fucked so long?

>>13142831
It's a reference to where the King makes the wizard turn himself into the Duke's wife so he can fuck her.

So the King simply had the wizard turn into a copy of himself to fool Kroknar into letting the Army pass.

>>13142861


then what about Salome?

I know its vaguely biblical, but still went woosh over my head.

>>13143203
Dude, just start at the beginning and read the fucking comics.

It's not rocket science despite the mr. autist Salamander fanguy whiner in this thread.

>>13143203
Well, the biblical Salome basically did a dance for her stepdad, and it was so well received that he promised her whatever she desired.

So, at her mother's instruction, she asked for the head of John the Baptist.

This comic basically goes several years down the road, where the reputation for it has followed her ever since. Kind of like people saying "whatchu talkin' bout willis?" to Gary Coleman years after he was done with acting.

>>13133290

I can't believe I have to explain this.
Why does the arrow teleport randomly into the necks of nearby people?
It is tribute to the Mistress, a trap designed to wipe out her and her fortress guards.

Why is it labeled arrow of regret?
So that curiosity would force someone to test what it does.

Interesting fact: We have only seen it kill females so far (I am assuming that monster was female.)
Why? The people presenting the tribute were male, and they probably wanted to kill the Mistress.