MOTHERFUCKING GOOFUS FUCK YEAH

>taccragn Samgha

Brilliant Gameologists?

Brilliant Gameologists.

The Vacant Lot.

>>13030117
Are /tg/ more white knights or assholes? Truly this will answer the question a million See Elf, Wut Do threads could not.

>>13030134

Vacant Lot it is. Their fate lies in your hands, /tg/!

I'm probably more Goofus.

>this dearby

>>13030145

>>13030145
You do know that's a terrible idea? Inb4 the two boys end up raped in the back of a dumptruck

>>13030155

>>13030155
caaaaaaaaarlos

is this better than FACTS OR OPINIONS

>>13030171

Your first choice approaches! I'll do a small majority vote to give /tg/ a better chance to influence its fate.

>>13030190

BITCH AND MOAN.

>secrohoe sprang

>>13030190
Time to hop the tracks on THIS railroad. Let's go to the garage that a big guy sells video games out of.

DUDE I TOTALLY WANNA PLAY BIKING BONANZA

>>13030190
If the park is messy, the council should be cleaning it up. By getting children to perform unwaged labour to do it we're reducing wages and job opportunities for unskilled labourers in the community. Fuck that.

/tg/ chooses Goofus!

>>Time to hop the tracks on THIS railroad.

SPEAKING OF RAILROADING

What the fuck is this shit? Those two look nothing like the Goofus and Gallant I remember from my youth. Fucking 4th edition G&G sucks.

>>13030234
Break in while everyone's cleaning up some crappy lot.

>>13030234
no responsible businessman would be caught dead renegging on a sale I am appaled

>>13030241
Be glad they didn't put tits on Gallant.

>>13030249
>go help out at the lot
ftfy

>>13030234

Really, you guys know where this is headed, but at least this way you can fuck up real nice. Although picking Gallant DOES unlock different choice trees at certain points.

>>13030263
wow those gloves sound high quality why did no kid go for them earlier

>>13030234
look at this bullshit

>>13030263

Are you a moralfag, /tg/?

(Praying for fanart of Gallant as a Kamen Rider now.)

>>13030282

GODDAMNIT

>arlcong Revolution

>>13030282
Fuck yeah, time to vanquish evil by ambling over in its direction.
GALLANT-DAN, GOOOO

>>13030282

FOR JUSTICE!

>>13030282
Hells yeah, let's hit on that chick. We've only got a small window in which we won't be arrested for fucking eight year olds, may as well make the most of it.

>>13030282
punch him in the head from behind/ walk over

>>13030282

Better go help her, you might get a blowjob afterwards.

>>13030282
Fight the bully, he could give good exp.

>>13030297

FOR THE LOVE OF A LITTLE GIRL!

>>13030282

Clearly he's having a bad day. Let's make it worse! Go harrass Rex.

We're here under protest, we don't gotta help ANYONE

LET THAT BITCH GET BEAT UP AND RAPED, BE A GOOFUS.

/tg/ chooses Gallant! HENSHIN! RIDER APPROACH

>>13030323

>>13030323
A GALLANT APPROACHES, COMMAND?

>DANGLE GLOVES > FIGHT
>ITEM >RUN

>RUN

You managed to get away!

>>13030323
wow badass reputation or what

>>13030323
Just a 'thanks'? She didn't even give us her number? Frigid bitch.

>>13030330
Pre-emptive "Fuck rubbish, I'ma go hang out and garden with my bros"

>>13030330

They say the garbage man can...will YOU?

>>13030333
Learn to deal with women, you have to ask for the number, she won't just give it.

>>13030333
You help people expecting some kind of reward?
YOU DISGUST ME

well, to be fair almost ALL kids games railroad you into picking the "nice" or "helpful" option by punishing you if you dont.

indoctrination i say!.

>>13030330
>has friends

THIS GAME IS FUCKING RAILROADING US INTO BEING A NORMALFAG

FUCK THIS SHIT

>>13030346
You know, let's show those posers.
Trash committee.

>>13030323
Find Big Al and ask him when his sale is starting, then go home and masturbate until we can buy our fucking Biking Bonanza.

>>13030346
I want to paint, dammit. Isn't this the warhammer board anyway?

>>13030346
theres probably glass everywhere so gardening

>>13030346
GARDENING.

FUCK BEING HELPFUL

WHITEKNIGHTING FAGGOTS ARE "HELPFUL"

>>13030346
Is Ms Green one of those paedophile teachers?

>>13030346
Let's kick some trash!

>>13030360
I still wonder why Big Al is at a school cleanup

>it's a bad thing to be with friends

>>13030333

It's our bro Joe's sister, man. We know where she rests.

The dichotomy that /tg/ exhibits interests me...

>Suck up to the authorities by performing unpaid labor?
FUCK THAT.
>A douchebag is bullying a little girl!
OH HELL NO HE ISN'T.

/tg/'s alignment so far: Chaotic Good.

>>13030346
Don't pick gardening, you want to show everyone how cool and unique you are by picking the unpopular option.

>>13030346

I assume there's no 'Convince those two useless cunts to work trash with you' option? Regardless, hang with friends.

>>13030378
To be fair, we were looking for a 'reward'.

Now, gardening.

>>13030381
>Don't pick gardening, you want to show everyone how cool and unique you are by picking the unpopular option.
This isn't Indiequest.

>>13030346

/tg/ chooses Goofus! And unexpectedly, we have another choice to make!

>>13030404
let's be gallant dogfriends.

>>13030378

More like Chaotic Pedophile.

>>13030404
Ignore the dog. We have to focus on our work and can't be distract hunting down owners that we don't even know exist.

>>13030346
Hang with friends. We fa/tg/uys will always have more trash to pick, but we don't have so many friends we can afford to piss them off.

>>13030400
This is hipsterquest.

Fuck this park bullshit, let's find a nice off-chain coffee shop some place where we can check our email on our pad for a few hours.

>>13030404

I hate dogs. Push that shit away.

>>13030282
oh i remember situations like these from when i was a kid.

i used to walk over there and help the oppressed. both because it was a nice thing to do and would make me popular. AND because it was a legitimate reason to beat the crap out of the other guy if he tried something with me as i told him to stop.

ahh, good times. and CG truly is the best alignment.

>>13030404
Take the dog; sell the dog.

That dog is a heretic and must be purged!

>>13030434

Fuck that it's perfectly good meat, cook and eat the dog.

>>13030404
Look for his owners, since there's no "keep him" option.

NO POWER RANGER IS COMPLETE WITHOUT AN ANIMAL COMPANION.

Find owners, sell dog back to them.

>>13030404
might as well look for the owners.

>>13030404

/tg/ chooses Gallant! We are shaping up into Riderman at this rate.

>>13030476
this guy doesn't understand how leashes work

>>13030476

Do you enjoy Super Soaker, /tg/?

This makes me want to bust out one of my Fighting Fantasy books and start a thread to let you guys make the decisions. But fuck that for now, what about the park and Al?

>>13030476
>one vote for gallant
>two votes for goofus

Railroading bullshit, if you're just going to pick whatever you want you'd be better off not posting this on /tg/.

>>13030491
Since we can't give golden showers, a hose is the next best.

>>13030491
Spraysprayspraysprayspray!

You better spray them, they might be suffering from heat stroke and not even know it!

>>13030491
>Just because you're hot doesn't mean your friends are

Gallant knows his shit. I am way hotter and deserve all the hosing to myself.

>>13030500

OP here, there were more votes for Gallant than you think, count 'em again.

>>13030500

>>13030474
>>13030444
>>13030410
Gallant

>>13030425
>>13030415
Goofus

Derp

>>13030538

my bad I'm a retard

>>13030491
Yes, let's spray Suki. How can this possibly go wrong?

>>13030558

THIS

>>13030491

/tg/ chooses Goofus! Too bad the guy who wrote this adventure is a pussy.

rolled 14 = 14

>>13030491
Spray em. Our friends will think it's hilairous.

>>13030586
Wait, the Goofus consequence is BAD LUCK?

>>13030586
We'll water Suki's flower later that night.

/tg/ is a dick.

don't spray them

>>13030586
Jesus christ, this is nothing but railroading gmwank bullshit. We have to permanently derail this fucker's campaign as revenge.

Well that was full of SUCK

>>13030586

Do you fancy yourself some kind of lawnmower man, /tg/?

>>13030586
Does anything ever good come from being an asshole? No wonder kids are such pansies now a days, I'm surprised the "stand up for the little kid" wasn't really "go get an adult for help!" and the helping one wasn't Goofus

>>13030612
>make extra effort

Fuck no

Fuck that, I was told to mow the lawn not under some bench.

>>13030635

Actually you involuntarily volunteered to mow the lawn, you weren't told to do anything.

Better do it, otherwise you might spontaneously combust or something like that. Who knows, maybe you'll find a bag of Al's vidya games to keep if you do it

>>13030612
/sigh

Mow the fucking bench grass.

>>13030612
just mow the grass

>>13030612
DON'T DO IT
WILD POKÉMON LIVE IN TALL GRASS

Don't mow the grass, if it's under the bench it will grow slower anyway, also besides that's for ADULTS TO MOVE ANYWAY

>>13030612
Don't do it! We don't need people expecting things from us.

>>13030612

/tg/ chooses not to do extra work! Make your Bullshit save! Whoops, you FAILED.

Let's mow the grass, if we don't some stupid shit will happen like our lawn mower hitting a rock and breaking.

>>13030612
Do it. Based on what has happened so far you should mow the grass. If you don't magic bullshit will happen.

>>13030713
>>13030709

>>13030709
Why the fuck do we hang out with this Goofus asshole? He brings bad luck on us! Can't we string him up and beat him to reduce the chance of more misfortune happening to us?

>>13030709
wow cheap ass lawnmower mine would chop that rock in half

>>13030709

The GM must be Barney, he makes you stay moralfag and hugs probably make him add +5 to your roll.

>>13030677
All the more reason to mow it.

Last thing we need is some dumb kid blowing up the park with his newly found electrode

>>13030709
Karma is working way too fast.

>>13030713

>>13030733
total bs

>>13030733

Quest over! Amazing, I know. Return to the OP picture and choose the next INCREDIBLE ADVENTURE

>>13030773
and we never see the sale

>>13030773
Whoa whoa whoa, what about the video games? THAT'S BULLSHIT, FUCK THE WRITER FOR THIS ADVENTURE

>>13030773
Gentlemen

We must perform mad science...

Science project.

I need that guy balancing a shark with the caption SCIENCE.

>>13030773
Clearly being sore means that we trained hard and gain some strength.

The Science Project next!

rolled 68 = 68

>>13030773
CAMP SUNRISE

LETS GET LAID

/tg/ has decided to attend to their science project! TIME FOR SOME VOLCANO

>>13030882
>Oscar

NO YOU TAKE DA MONI

>>13030882

Do you wish to sit with Oskar and teach him the wonders of 40K, /tg/?

>>13030908
Helping the new kid? We don't want our image to get any worse. Tell him to fuck off.

rolled 2 = 2

>>13030908
Fuck that, why would we sit with the new kid?

Saki isn't going to hit on herself

>>13030908

You help him now, and he'll do your homework for you later. The choice is obvious.

>>13030908
"Sure we can eat together, would you be interested in joining my LARPing group?"

>>13030908
sit with Oskar
he may prove to be a powerful ally in our coming battles...
or a very good pawn to sacrifice

>>13030908

/tg/ chooses Gallant!

I want a meat pie now.

>>13030908

Sit with him because the Goofus option always ends in bullshit

>>13030992

>>13031017
>Interesting places like England
It's America but smaller, quieter and less annoying. Hardly 'interesting'.

>>13031017

YOU'RE LOSIN' SECONDS, MAN, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING JUST SITTING THERE?!

>>13030992
An empanada? HE'S A FUCKING BEANER! PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE FOR STEALING OUR JERBS!

>>13031035
If the next choice is to be Oskar's partner, I don't want to.

>>13031035
Why the fuck is this unfunny cunt one of our favourite teachers? Does he give great blowjobs?

>>13031038
tkrjbs

>>13031035

Will you join forces with Mr. Meat Pie, /tg/?

Fuck no.

We work alone.

FOREVER ALONE.

>>13031058
GEE, DO WE TEAM UP WITH THE KID OF A SCIENCE PROFESSOR TO DO SCIENCE? I CAN'T DECIDE!

>>13031072
no you fool, don't you understand how the universe works yet! We must always pick the gallant option, or the gods will punish us.

>>13031079
Never states that his mother does Science.

Still, if we don't we're going to get run over by the train.

>>13031058
We're DEFINITELY fucking working alone.

>>13031058
He might want to do the project on his own and not deal with a leech. But still, partner with him and have him do all the work. Then go find Al's Big Sale

>>13031072

He gave us delicious meat pie! He might have access to more. Clearly, the best option is to gain his trust for access to higher quality meat/bread hybrids. TEAMWORK, HO!

>>13031058
obviously this foreigner kid is a terrorist, and as such should have a good grasp of chemistry.

Let us work with him, but watch him. The second he slips up, BAM science book to the back of the head.

>>13031117
Seconded, we must harvest pies from this child.

rolled 43 = 43

>>13031058
>Working with a beaner on a science project

HOW MANY JOULES OF HEAT DOES IT TAKE TO HEAT UP THIS TACO TO 35 CELSIUS

Do it alone

>>13031130
are you kidding me? Beaners have an excellent grasp of chemistry. Why do you think so much drugs comes from south of the border?

Be mindful he could be an agent of Tzeentch

>>13031058

/tg/ chooses Gallant!

MAN BEING A KID SUCKS A BLOO BLOO BLOO

>>13031166

Are you some kinda bookfag, /tg/?

>>13031166
Dinosaurs are just Warhammer figs that have been broken from the sprue and buried in the dirt. Excellent idea.

I just realised...

Goofus is Satan in disguise. You know, how Satan as a serpent fooled Eve and all that. Goofus is tricking us into shit that screws us.

>>13031186
with over 20 gigs of RPG rulebooks on my harddrive I'd be hard pressed to say no.

>>13031186
WE GOTTA GET TO BIG AL'S. WE CAN DO FOSSILS OR SHIT LATER

>>13031186
Choose Gallant or it gets the hose again...

RAGE AGAINST THE GODS
GOOFUS, ALWAYS.

>>13031186
>/tg/
>procrastinate

There is no other choice.

>>13031186
Invite him over for saturday. Perhaps there will be pies?

>>13031282

The pies are foul Zionist LIES!

>>13031186

It's close enough - /tg/ chooses Goofus!

Yeah, Oskar, don't be such a NERD

>>13031186
Oskar has to be Algerian or something, which means he has a big family, which means he has to have a few sisters, which means logically one must be hot. DO IT, we might catch some panty sniffing action!

>>13031302

inb4 we miss the project deadline and piss oskar off

>>13031302

Free choice? NOT IN MY CAMPAIGN

Let me introduce you to my DMPC, her name is Miss Sanchez and she is smokin'.

>>13031302

Bout damn time, back on the Bad Karma express... It derails at every stop.(and in between)

>>13031321

Fuck yeah, OMANYTE

>>13031302
>>13031321

Wait, no bad result?

>>13031343

Fuck it, while we're down here, let's make Creepy Crawlies.

>>13031368

Do you want to jam with /sci/ or /v/, /tg/?

GOOFUS OPTION.
ALWAYS.

>>13031384
Hang with /sci/.
Because /v/ is a load of grognards, and if we don't Oskar will backstab us and take all the credit for himself.
It's what I would do.

>enough yeattle

>>13031395
IT RUBS THE GALLANT ON IT'S SKIN OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN

>>13031384
HOLY SHIT!

DID HE JUST SAY FUCKING QUASAR QUEST!

Let's blow this joint!

>>13031384
>Quasar Quest

Damn, Ricky went to Big Al's while we were off making fossils like suckers. Oskar Enchilada can finish up the project while we go chill with Ricky

>>13031384
Stay for dinner, Oskar's mom is the dessert!

>>13031384
isn't the project due in two whole week?

VIDYA GAMES

Make like Bill Nye and DO IT FOR SCIENCE.

And my IT I mean OSKAR'S MOM.

>>13031384

A quest...with in a quest. God damn it, I know it will end in tears and suffering. Just jump on the damn train already. Next stop, gallant.

>>13031384

Oh, God, /tg/, you're making me laughing my ass off with your responses. I love you.

That being said, /tg/ chooses Gallant!

>>13031430
It started off with two, and one+ have already passed. This is likely our last chance

>>13031461

Fuck you, Ricky, you already got your Kabuto! This one's mine!

>>13031461
Then Oskar's mom makes a man out of the two of you right?

>>13031477

Will YOU help poor Oskar Enchilada, /tg/?

>>13031477

IS THAT BITCH QUESTIONING OUR SCIENCE?!?!? Oh hells no. It is on like herpes on a dead hooker's crotch

>>13031487
Oskar's a champ, give him some goddamn credit too you little thieving bastard!

>>13031487
We're still trying to get into the good Doctor's pants, aren't we? We better make nice with her kid; otherwise it'll make for an awkward relationship later on.

Gallant it is.

>>13031487
WE GAVE UP QUASAR QUEST FOR THIS PROJECT

WE HAVE ALL THE GLORY

BECOME A GOD TO THEM

>>13031487
We know nothing about fossils. Why are we talking in the first place? Let Sciencebeanpie do the work.

>>13031502

Of course. Bone-ing with a hot paleontologist is a must.

>>13031526
I'd excavate her dig site.

If you know what I mean.

>>13031487

/tg/ chooses Gallant! Oskar Enchilada will prove to be a valuable ally in the future.

>>13031535

I'd with lay out a carefully marked grid and slowly begin sifting through the surface layers...if you know what I mean.

>>13031562
Excellent, we have our first loyal minion. Time to get cracking on more of them!

>>13031562

Quest over! You get "Bitchin' Dino Exhibit Trip".

One more quest for the road. Return to the OP picture and CHOOSE THE NEXT EXCITING ADVENTURE

>>13031562

I'm filled with rage that we didn't win ALL of the blue ribbons

>AND btorel

>>13031584
LET'S GO TO FUCKING CAMP

>>13031584
Pah, OP with your damn noble bright story telling. We all know that no good action goes unpunished. Why don't you stop being a fag and be cool and play Grimdark?

>>13031597

Camp and bring our loyal minion with us.

OP you had better turn this into a quest thread having laid down the foundations of awesome with those shitty kids choose your own railroad games.

Moving On. Maybe we get to punch some dudes and score some bitches!

"But babe, we'll never see each other again!" And then teacher wanna /ss/

>>13031615

OP here. Maybe later ;)

Let's go camping! I'm glad you chose Camp Sunrise as opposed to Camp Murder Mountain, that would've been awkward otherwise.

>>13031829

You just look at the other campers. No talking. Eyes only, bub.

>>13031841

I like to imagine Sven as a big Russian guy. "UNPACK LATER! SWIM NOW!"

Anyway...is a RIDER JUMP in your future, /tg/?

>>13031856

RIDER JUMP IS GO

>10 bucks says someone will catch us before we jump because choo choo
>1779 Jurdlowh

>>13031856
Goofus' reasoning makes a lot of sense. But knowing this railroady shit we're gonna crack our heads open in shallow water or some shit.

Well, there's plenty of time left in this adventure, right? I say we Goofus it up this time.

>>13031856
RIIIIIIIIIIIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER JUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP

DISCOURAGE EVIL WITH YOUR ACROBATIC PROWESS

>>13031856
For the first time ever, I am with goofus on this one. There is only a no running sign, not a no diving sign.

>>13031856
running dives for the running dives god
you wouldn't know about him he's pretty obscure

>>13031856
HOLY DIVER
Doofus up this shit.

>>13031856
time to spend the whole trip in the medical ward! Running leap a go!

>>13031856

/tg/ chooses Goofus! RIDER...

...oh. Well. That was lame.

>>13031910
Anti-climatic, yes, but we're less wounded than I thought. I call this a win.

>>13031910

"GET UP AT DAWN OR CRY, BABY MAN"

Are you an early riser, /tg/?

>>13031910
AWESOME

Goofus never fails

>>13031910
A splinter from the dock? We could have gotten that just from walking, that is shoddy work there.

>>13031940
goofus curse.

>>13031931
So he invites us to party all night on the condition that we wake up early as well? What the fuck man.

Are there bitches going to the camp? Gallant-time, fuckers, maybe we can share one of their sleeping bags.

>>13031931
Ask a friend to wake us up, hit us if they must, but we are going up that freaking' mountain. We did not koolaid-man over that dock just to be pussies now.

>>13031931
If we try to sleep in, some stupid shit will keep us up, or will miss out on something awesome. Wake up.

>>13031931
The sun is there every day. You only have this one chance to sleep in a bed at camp.

>>13031931
Dude, i wont be waking up early.

>>13031931
Mount Vista has experienced a fatal error.
Please restart the application.
GO CAMPING.

>>13031931
We should go
This might be a test, whoever doesn't go will be executed

>>13031931
wait, first this asshole makes us go swimming now he wants us to go climb a mountain?

I think the OP is right. this fucker is the governator here to punish us for a lifetime of excess and sloth

>>13031958
it'll be an owl. I'm calling it.

>>13031931

/tg/ chooses Gallant! Your reward: another decision!

>>13032010
Have sex with Olympia.

>>13032010
Olympia actually knows my feet very well.

>>13032010
Definitely Gallant.

>>13032010
We can't, like, bring a pair of socks with us in our pack or something?

>>13032010
What the hell? Who wears shoes without socks?

>>13032010
>hike without socks
>sleep overnight on a mountain without socks

Holy fuck Goofus is an idiot sometimes. Even Gallant's kind of dumb here. "Probably"?

Socks, man, socks.

>>13032012
She's named for a goddess and has "ogle" in her name. You know she's gotta be awesome in the sack.

Wait, this game is turning every simple fucking decision into a question of life and death. ALLRIGHT, ALLRIGHT, I WILL WEAR YOUR GODDAMN SOCKS.

>>13032010
we are real men
that's why we let socks stay with us even though they slept with our woman

>>13032010
Sven and Olympia? What did our parents send us to the Czech republic? Albania?

>>13032069
In Soviet Russia, Doofus decides you!

>>13032029
I do when I'm just driving to the store or something. but yeah for long trips definitely socks.

GOOFUS AND GALLANT RPG:
To perform an action, roll your character's die. Subtract skill modifiers from it, you know, if you have any. If it's below 10, you succeed and get free video-games and a blue ribbon and the bully makes friends with you!

If it is above 10, the universe conspires to punish you.

When you make a GALLANT decision, your die becomes a d10. When you make a GOOFUS decision, your die becomes a d100.

Also, ALL ASIANS are GIRLS.

>>13032010

/tg/ chooses Gallant, because we all want to jump Olympia's hurdles.

>>13032100
So wait, the DM (storyteller, whatever) decides who our best friend is going to be, but defers to use whether to wear socks or not?

>>13032100
All of our friends are beaners. Are we a beaner?

>>13032100
Espinosa? Another Mexican kid?

>>13032100
you're damn right. I need me some eastern European snoo snoo.

>>13032100

Do you just want to watch the world burn, /tg/?

>>13032100
I've got my wood right here, Olympia.

Also, why are all my friends FOREIGNERS?

I remember getting my feet wet and walking a few miles without socks.

Never a-fucking-gain. To this day, I carry a spare pair of socks with me if I'm going on a long walk.

Put the fucking socks on and take a spare pair. Or your feet will be raped.

>>13032120
who the fuck starts a fire with wet wood? We're chaotic not retarded.

>>13032120
I thought Goofus and Gallant was supposed to be the choice between laziness and responsibility, not idiocy and common sense.

>>13032120
This adventure isn't even naughty vs. nice, it's retard vs. sycophant.

You know what? Fuck it. Goofus. I want to see what this writer does with it. Besides, no fire means we have to cuddle with Olympia for body-heat.

>>13032120
If they are just a little damp its not a big deal, but this railroading motherfucker is going to smoke everyone with that shit.
Gallant is my choice.

>>13032120
GOOFUS

OLYMPIA WILL KEEP US WARM

>>13032120
we are too good for this menial labor
get the damp wood and let the other kids get dry wood

>>13032160
Get the damn shit.
We shall signal Rohan for aid.

>>13032120
In a weird way, this adventure at least is somewhat educational. Like you REALLY don't want wet firewood, it's a major pain in the ass. Same with the sock issue, you absolutely want fucking socks on a hike

>>13032169
Er, damp shit.
My keyboard hates me.

Damp, so we can just as planned cuddle.

>>13032120

/tg/ chooses Goofus, thus ensuring Olympia will never bunk with us.

>>13032241
She can use my wood as an example any time

>>13032241

But now the Riders of Rohan will appear!

>>13032241

Do you know how to make a fuckin' tent or what, /tg/?

>>13032269
"“What do octopuses take on camping trips? Tent-acles!”"
You better ask Gus. Because if you don't, you bet your ass shit will go bad.

>>13032269
Keep them in case one of our fellow campers is a vampire. you can never be too fucking careful.

>>13032269
>You and Gus decide to pitch tents side by side

Well, no wonder we didn't go after Olympia. Ask your boyfriend what the stakes are for.

>>13032269
Olympia makes me pitch my tent

We should ask Gus for help, so we can make a suitable love nest for Olympia

>>13032269
Most tents come with extra stakes in case you lose some. Besides, what would Gus know about tents that we don't?

>>13032297
He's a FOREIGNER. That's what they live in overseas, bro. Didn't you know that?

Three stakes? Most tents i have seen have either two or four stakes crossed side to side. What the hell did we do?
Ask Gus, anyway...

>>13032269
Sweet jesus Goofus, this isn't even being lazy, it's being retarded! You better ask or the tent god will smite your ass, and Olympia will laugh at your wet corpse while she fucks Gus in his functioning tent

What if other campers need stakes?
don't tell him
he may be a spy as well also

>>13032269

/tg/ chooses Gallant! Your reward: fucking puns.

Ask Gus, then put a stake in his heart. He's probably a reverse vampire!

>>13032340
YOU FOOL! NOW WE'RE DEFENSELESS! I guess we'll just use Gus as a human shield if things go bad.

DEFINITELY WORTH LOSING SLEEP OVER.

>>13032340

UP AND ATOM, BABY MAN

Now all we need is a trophy with out name on it.

>>13032369

With this trophy, I will toast to my queen, Olympia.

>>13032377
You've read this before, haven't you?

>>13032340
jesus. that's one of those fucking puns that sticks with you and comes up in your mind at the most inappropriate times.

Wedding? Tent-acles. Funeral? Tent-acles. Fucking Councilor Olympia in some /ss/ action? Tent-acles

>>13032381
Olympia's a frigid bitch, time to plunder Jenny's treasure.

>>13032389
Possibly. I was amused that American children apparently think 'British football' is Foosball.

>>13032377
Why, yes, you can read ahead of me, good work or something

>>13032381
Time to actually solve a puzzle! This adventure's pickin' up. Are you a thinker, /tg/?

>>13031368
>Basement Laboratory
>dubious (though implied) Mexican heritage

DOHOHO

>>13032405
You think /tg/'s a conformist bitch?

SPEAK YOUR FUCKING MIND.

Surprised Gallant's saying that, though. He seems to be too busy sucking cock to understand individuality.

>>13032405
GODDAMIT GOOFUS
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE REBEL
NOW YOU'RE JUST SAYING THINGS TO BE RETARDED INTENTIONALLY

Let's go with Gallant, guys.

>>13032405
As a follower of Tzeentch I say we go along with the crowd
you know appear to be weak then we pounce

Tell them they're dumb.

It's what my dad likes to do to me before putting his weiner in me but don't tell anybody I'll get in trouble.

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS GODDAMNIT

Voice your opinion. The man can't silence us or our music.

>>13032405

/tg/ chooses Gallant! At this point, I think the GM has just abandoned dice altogether.

>>13032543

Man, this thread is gonna start autosaging soon, let's bring it home. How you gonna solve this one, /tg/?

like hell we gonna follow some gaybirds around

think, like a nigger planning to steal a bike!

>>13032570

holy shit goofus has got this one guys

>>13032570
ITS A FUCKING TELESCOPE

IF WE FOLLOW THE CROWD, THE OTHERS CAN SURELY FIGURE IT OUT WHILE WE THINK ABOUT HOW TO BONE OLYMPIA

>>13032570
We need to follow Goofus' advice
a sad end for us because we are deep

>>13032570
Gallant can never figure it out brainstorming because Gus is a spic, and assuming Goofus and Gallant are the same person, then they're both retarded. Go find someone else to help.

>>13032656
Goofus and Gallant are our schizophrenic delusions, making us the only 8 year old schizophrenic ever.

>>13032570

Gallant up in this bitch. If we use the power of teamwork, it might lead to post winning orgies. The best kind.

craftily fickarce: Touche, captcha. Touche.

>>13032570

/tg/ chooses Gallant! ORGIES, HO

>>13032570
What would Kamen Rider do?

Lets just go to the fucking telescope.

>>13032714

Are you an EXPERT NAVIGATOR, /tg/? I'll be starting a new thread to finish this quest off, so watch for it.

>>13032714
>4 for Goofus, 2 for Gallant
>/tg/ chooses Gallant!
CHOO CHOO

>>13032759

Oh, shit, I counted it wrong. Yeah, it's Goofus. New thread will backtrack.

>>13032753
Goofus, where did you "hear about" the short cut? You can't even cite your sources? I bet you made it up. Go with Gallant.

>>13032753

Oh god. Somehow the author knew we were making sex jokes and worked it into the riddle. We are messing with forces beyond our comprehension...

OP here, new thread is here: >>13032814