Can only achieve erection while thinking of doing good deeds.

Any women they get involved with will cry rape within a month, regardless of the circumstances.

Incapable of masturbation using hands.

Forgetting how to masturbate.

Must beat own wife whenever she does something exceptionally kind.

Must beat own wife when she says the word "husband"

Clothing will always smell unwashed.

Will be mistaken for a hobo frequently.

Premature Ejaculation

Inpotence

The irrational belief that premature ejaculation and impotence do not occur naturally, but are the result of spellcasters with a weird sense of humor.

Incontinence

Skin appears to be rotting, is actually just really dry.

Eyes appear to be completely white to observers, individual using mirror does not notice this.

The inability to see oneself in a mirror.

The false belief that one must drink human blood in order to survive.

Feeling extreme pain while in sunlight.

Cursed individual will get married within a week.

falsely believing that they are gods gift to women

Has a Phobia of feet.

No matter how hard they try not to, they will always manage to offend someone... badly...
one guy got all of his toes cut off, his eyes cut out, his tongue split in half and his face removed.

Now looks like a Lego Man

Pigeons seem compelled to perch on him

Everything he eats, drinks or smells is now very strong horseradish.

Simply can never sit comfortably. Ever

Everything he touches turns into gold. On further inspection, the gold is actually pyrite.

Crippling fear of non-alchaholic liquids. (including rain, bodies of water, etc.)

Slow but continuous "Alter Self" affect, the target wakes up each morning a "new person" and goes to bed as someone else again.

I like this thread.

<---

First, severe itching.
Second, supersharp nails- unable to scratch aforementioned itches without ripping off skin.

Wakes up each morning with any personal mannerisms he was annoyed by the previous day. Including his own.

>>13011915

I lol'd

>>13011915

That's just not right. At all. Bestowing a curse such as that would earn you a visit from some horrified, pissed-off Celestials.

That, or a job offer from a Baron of Hell.

Will always mistype captcha.

Obsessions, one love and one hate. Recieves a new love each lunar cycle, the old love becomes the new hate.

one i saw casted on the barbarian in our party, who is "so cool because i have endurance, lol 10 more hp!". curse was to make him less violent... whenever he had a "bad thought" to have his intestines fly out his ass and tie themselves in one hunderd knots, untie and fly back inside of him. dealing one point of damage.

seemed kinda weird, until the barbarian went rage. bloody bloody rage. confused the hell out of the other bar patrons.

too bad he couldn't fall unconscious.

>>13011927
After a day, you should start making saves against insanity as cast by a 16th level wizard every few hours under this effect. Shit would be goddamn mind crushing.

Grows taste buds on soles of feet.

Urinates/defecates uncontrollably whenever they feel happiness.

Friends and Neighbors automatically assume any ill that befalls them was his fault

>>13011891

>Simply can never sit comfortably. Ever

oh fuck, just kill me if I get that

>>13011962
There was a dude at my high school under this curse.

Deliver unto them a horrific curse that makes them The Chosen One.

Any prophecy, any divination, any scrying, any informative magic whatsoever will always register the cursed individual as The Chosen One. It will never mention what he is chosen for, but every cult, religious sect, or prophetic circle will all have their hopes and dreams point to this one, ordinary man. Woe upon him should he wander anywhere near a fortune teller, for he is forever cursed to be called The Chosen One.

>>13011974
Yes, it was one of my better cuses. Sold well too, an all around winner.

The vitreous humor of the eyes? Turns to a miniature Ooze, each.

Second child- not firstborn- dies.

Now attractive (to the point of rape-worthy) to bulls, wild dogs, and horses.

Hats worn turn to mucus. Instantaneously.

There is a bomb in their future.

Smell oddly like asparagus.

Caltrops, an eel, a magically healing duodenum, and a specialized golem. I can't say any more.

...a wizard focused entirely around this spell might actually be really fun to play.

Can never think of the right word. Horrible for spells with verbal components unless the mage actively reads the words.

Always feel tired when they stand up, and rested when they lie down.

Can no longer see people (or things) that they find attractive. If the definition changes or grows, so does the number of people invisible to the victim.

DC 15 will save upon seeing windows. If failed, player defenestrates themselves at the highest possible speed.

>>13012029
What if you're on the first floor?

Internal portal linking lowwer digestive tract to an appropriate demiplane. Diarrhea of such volume and intensity that he'll wish he could die. "Regeneration" and "Breathe Without Air" effects.

>>13012043
Then the fall won't be what hurts. Nothing says defenestration only works from the second floor or higher.

The real question, is what if they see a window from the outside?

>>13011976
Epic.

Victim has an aura of good, evil, neutrality, law, or chaos, as per the paladin class feature equal to their hit dice.
Roll 1d6 to determine which, on a 6, reroll but double the strength of the aura. Multiple 6's stack.

>>13012054
Still applies :D

I'd put it on the group tank for maximum gigglefits.

"HAY GUISE YUR NEXT QUEST IS IN SHARN"

>>13012054
Even THAT compulsion can be answered by running into the building and jumping out, what if they see a window in the middle of a building though?

>>13012072
Like seperating rooms?

It applies to any opaque aperture mounted on walls. Tavern windows, stained glass, etc.

Whenever the character sits down on any surface, it will make a fart sound.

Hands are magnetically repelled from own penis

character develops an itch that does not go away

Can not talk normally. Must sing whatever they want to say.

Character and entire town break out into a musical song and dance number

Randomly the character will hear an annoying sound that only they can hear, but are convinced that the others can hear it too

>>13012068
>>13012054
>>13012043
>>13012029

"That's not glass, it's a wall of force."

>>13012085
Opaque means you can't see through it. The word you're looking for is transparent, or translucent.

>Aclnge effects
Great curse idea captcha. I wish I knew what it meant.

>>13012085
>opaque
Wait a second? I wish I couldn't see through any of the windows in my house!

>>13012085
Ah: but to be defenstrated is to be thrown OUT a window. You cannot defenstrate someone through a window in the dead centre of a structure: there is no out. Each side is equally inside.

>>13011976
>>13011891
>>13011898

we have some winners here

Can never get rid of that ringing noise in their ear. Once they think they've gotten used to it, it changes.

Player sees light and dark inverted. Pitch black is blindingly bright, and daylight requires darkvision to see it. Low light is well illuminated.

Now allergic to metal.

Now allergic to meat

Now allergic to leather

Now allergic to paper

For a paladin: every good, virginal woman of pure heart is actually a Succubus.

For a good cleric: every heal spell also infects the target with a slow-incubating fatal disease.

For a druid: Cannot escape from wildshape until you mate.

For a monk: swap memories with whoever you punch

For a ranger- favored enemies within 50 miles automatically know where you are and are aware of all your past deeds against their race.

For a barbarian- PERMARAGE

If the character comes across something that disgusts them, they get an overwhelming urge to eat it.

Subject believes own penis has been stolen and is hiding inside the bum of whatever little boy they see.

Irrationall compulsion to pick up dwarves, hold them in the air and say, "Oh, look at the little baby. Aren't you cute? WHere's your mommy?"

Character wakes up with a new accent everyday.

>>13011716
no matter what plane they are on, no matter if they are in the deepest dungeon or above the vaults of the sky. a flock of birds always takes a shit where you are about to put your hand next as you climb past the halfway point on whatever you are climbing.

"You are what you eat" take on the traits of any animal you consume the meat of.

>>13011716
Move a persons field of view from normal height to dwarf height. If they are about dwarf height move their field of view about a foot or so heigher.

>>13012154
Rogue: Everyone thinks you're a Kender.

>>13012189
Kender rogue: you think you're NOT a kender.

Subject of curse will have horrible nightmares in which they cannot wake up until they die. When dying in the dream they take 1d8 dmg, and must roll 1d100 wherein a 1 means they are reduced to -2 hp.

I wish it were real so I could use it on kanye west and rush limbaugh :(

Cannot sleep
Cannot lie
Cannot tell truth

>>13012154
for a Kender, everyone, including deities, think you are a drow.

for a warforged, their surface thinks it is flesh (they know they aren't but their 'body' reacts to fire, etc as if it was flesh)

is always seeing a midget fucking a cat and looking him straight in the eye, grinning.

Target is now breathing consciously. Forever.

>>13012189
Which only works in the Dragonlance setting, because that's the only setting they exist in, full stop.

Swapping lives curse: the victims swap places and bodies whenever they are both asleep at the same time.

This requires several victims, preferably from several countries that are far enough appart that they don't speak each other's language. Alternately: countries that are at war.

>>13012195

That's...that's horrible!


Heard this one second hand.

Everytime the victem draws a weapon, there is a 50% chance that the victem will draw a chicken instead. If the victem kills said chicken, there is a 100% chance that the next attempt to draw their weapon will draw a chicken instead.

When there are more HD of chickens than the victem has, the chickens attack unrelentingly.

>>13012258
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUU

target is under the delusion that his ass is trying to consume his hand based on the fact that every night, their hand ends up in their ass.

Obsession with magic and curses, with a desire to place curses on people for the sake of doing it.

This curse makes the target piss acid and shit low grade explosives. The acid does not effect the victim. The explosives decay into increasing volitility over the course of hours, and always self detonate before 24 hours have passed.

Target speaks his thoughts, literally so, and at all times. Even asleep.

Sepia Snake Sigel. You read the symbol in a book, and a snake pops out and bites you.

>>13012335
>Sepia "Snake" Sigel. You read the symbol in a book, areflex save to avoid blindness. Standard action to wipe off eyes..

When it truly, absolutely, 100% matters most, the cursed victim will be unable to recall any of his/her powers and be crippled by overwhelming feebleness.

The victim cannot tell a lie but no one will ever believe what the victim has to say.

The victim is always lost. Unless guided by others, his mind is clouded and he can never find his way from point A to point B, no matter how simple it seems.

(if male) can only reach orgasm while sleeping.
(if female) Can only reach orgasm while on horseback

Everything they drink tastes like water, except water, which tastes like sour milk

Always have a slight static charge, always shocking themselves when touching anything.

Will always insist on using a fork to eat soup, even if being fed by someone

Refuses to eat anything they didn't make themselves. Not out of fear of poison, but because they didn't make it.

Sarcastic Justice: Can only be cast on someone who has made a heavily sarcastic remark within the last 24 hours. All inquiries must be answered with snide sarcasm, and general statements cannot be made without sarcasm unless succeeding on a dc15 will save.

Kenny's Curse: Can only be cast upon a victim who's mother is still capable of child rearing. Prone to dying at inopportune and often unpredictable times. Will resurrect via rebirth from mother in 1d10 days, rolling a ten is equivalent to three months. Victim keeps level and awakens with most often worn basic clothing. Victims experience reduced to their levels required ammount.

1 in every 10 spells cast is Prismatic Spray. Give it to the village cleric.

Target constantly under assault by everything small, creepy, and poisonous. Every leech, tick, spider, centipede, parasite, and worm will do their best to attack/eat the target.

Pic very much related. Think about it.

my wizard owned a demon in combat and prevented him from casting any of his spells
(see: scrolls of dispel magic, counter spell, etc)

So when my wizard killed the demon
he put a dying curse on me.

Now until i can get rid of this curse, everytime i cast a spell i have a 1 in 6 chance of taking xd6 damage, where x is the level of the spell.

Then i have to make a concentration check...

feels bad man.

>>13011965
>>13011965
>>13011965
>>13011965
>>13011965

am i the only one who finds this incredibly piss-my-pants hilarious while trying to imagine it?

>>13016225

>>13012349
>Sepia "Snake" Sigel.
That will be my next character's name!

>>13016431
Will they talk about war and how it never changes, until it does change?

Always lose one sock when washing.

Everything consumed in any matter tastes and smells heavily of vinegar.

Any evil aligned creature within 50 yards is aware of your presence and exact location and is strangely compelled to consume your blood.

>>13012154
Permarage for a barbarian? That's a bonus, not a drawback. Besides, imagine if he took a level in Frienzied Berserker.

Digestive system works backwards; either they eat crap and poop food, or have to jam food up their ass and vomit excrement.

every 30 minutes a swarm of crows will peck and shit on the target during the day at night it is a swarm of moths with a powerful psycho active dust that causes insanity in anyone who thinks about a specific word. the catch is the word is random EVERY 30 MINUTES inculding words unspeakable by humans, exposure to the opposite sex will cause wisper in te back of there mind attempting to lure them into stealing the hair of said person. and for the final bit, a insatiable desire to eat dragon eggs

>>13012027
Good ones.

Must obey every law of the country they're currently in, wherever they know about the laws or not.

They will always be late for any appointment, no matter what time they aim to try and arrive.

When the are in the presence of someone they find attractive they develop uncontrolable flatulence.

Pencils always break whenever they try and use them, and pens run out of ink before they've finished writing a single word.

And my personal favourite:
Whenever they try to get dressed they get their dick caught in the zipper. Every time.

wtf`? Is the guy who wrote F.A.T.A.L the only one contributing to this thread?

>>13016532
You wouldnt HAVE to eat shit. Just eat the best fdood you can find and shit out even better food. Then eat the better food and shit out EVEN BETTER food.
I myself would say thats a blessing.

>>13016653
>They will always be late for any appointment, no matter what time they aim to try and arrive.
This is a great one. The natural thing to do will be to leave early and arrive earlier, but this just means more shit happens to annoy them and hold them up.

>>13011891
>Simply can never sit comfortably. Ever
You sick bastard. That would be horrible.

Performing sexual acts with another individual causes you to appear as if you were the partner's parent to them.

>>13016828
On what grounds?
This is magic, boy, not science.
If the wizard wants to make your innards work on a ludicrous and headache inducing process whereby predigested and excreted food is transformed back to its original state, there's no reason why not.
Or having your digestive system flipped, turned upside down.

Target is reincarnated as his previous victims. Every night he has visions of his past lives

the person being cursed would have to rape something every other week for 24 hours, he will also be blind and deaf

You can never find that comftorable spot while attempt to sleep.

You awake from sleep with the delusion of never sleeping the night before. Permanent Insomnia.

A compulsion to stroke everyone you meet's eyebrows

The compulsion to insult every dwarf you see, saying "My arse has more of a beard!" or something of the like. Always beard related. Always as insulting as possible.

A traveling itch that never ceases, no matter how or where you scratch it. It just moves over your body, into different spots. For the rest of your life.

I'd do this to a Lich. Oh god, eternity with an itch that I couldn't fix? Fuck that noise

>>13011869

So basically, making them guidos?

I'm a wizard. I'm smart and efficient. Why cast a spell solely out of spite when I can satisfy spite AND practical needs at the same time?

- Each passing day, the victim becomes more physically female. If already a natural or fully-transformed female, they become MORE female, i.e. an exaggerated, Jessica Rabbit image of female sexuality. These effects are coupled with an inexplicable, irresistibly strong desire to be subservient to someone.

So, either my former enemy becomes my helpful maidservant so I can gloat over my victory each day, or she becomes someone else's helpful maidservant and is out of my hair. Bonus: I am a breast man, and will be very interested to study the ongoing effects of this curse over several years.

...What?

Hey, YOU try spending several decades unraveling the secrets to godlike power amidst endless frustration and boredom, and emerging as something other than a lecherous, megalomaniacal old fart.

>>13016475

But imagine a Barbarian in non-combat situations with permarage... he'd turn into this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujkkuf5T_xY&feature=channel

>>13012154
>For a druid: Cannot escape from wildshape until you mate.
Genius.

Any time a given limb is left immobile for more than five minutes, it will go completely numb. You must succeed on a Will check thrice over an extended attempt to regain functionality on that limb.

Any time you are not speaking, you will feel a powerful (Will DC 18) urge to hum the last tune you heard until you actually speak again.

Anything you say you must shout it at the top of your lungs.

Your expression defaults to a slack-jawed, wide eyed, head tilted visage. You must consciously concentrate on doing another face, and as soon as your mind is elsewhere you revert back to it.

>>13012413
>Everything they drink tastes like water, except water, which tastes like sour milk

I see the cursed individual dying of alcohol poisoning in their future.

The subject spends each day with some sort of ailment. It could be a sore elbow, it could be a pulled hamstring, it could be hemorrhoids, or Hepatitis, or Elminster's Vaginal rash of death. You never get the same ailment twice, either.

Curses, you say?

>>13017572
>Your expression defaults to a slack-jawed, wide eyed, head tilted visage. You must consciously concentrate on doing another face, and as soon as your mind is elsewhere you revert back to it.
It's like I'm really playing Transformers!

>>13017288
Could easily backfire by them finding some hero type to take you down. Also, doing that kind of stunt is just begging for you to eventually get it done to you somehow.
Great style points, though.

If I was going to be a dick, I'd create a bunch of magic items that cast this spell on people just to be a megatroll

Make them trip at the worst possible times.
Watch via crystal ball and laugh.

The victim cannot walk without clenching his or her ass cheeks.

can only speak using a spanish accent. Any word the player utters in a normal language will allow the DM to slap him and shut him up.

Had SO MUCH FUCKING FUN with it...

>>13011716
Every time they hear a certain word, they will be reminded of a story where a man/woman took a piece of paper and dragged the edge against the head of his penis/her clitoris and gave themselves the worst papercut possible with this method.

Bonus points if it is something they must hear or say frequently given their occupation or lifestyle.

I like to Bestow Curse right before I Phantasmal Killer them. Their penalty to saving throws make them most vulnerable and I think its possibly the best use of Bestow Curse that I can think of. Maybe used in conjuction with Finger of Death, but PK would be more cost effective because both saving throws are reduced.

>>13018337
Aw, that curse wouldn't have worked on one of my friends. He spoke like Adam West pretending to be a conquistador.

>>13018367
We're looking for fun ways to use it. That's just a boring "hey it makes the save lower" way.

Get out of here.

>>13018368
Get them into a combat sequence which requires them to communicate to escape and slap him whenever he says anything relevant to the game.

Then again, it's best to have it talk on the leader/smart guy of the group, mostly because of the party crashes it causes.

>>13018355
For extra dickishness, make it be a word like the.

>>13017958

>Also, doing that kind of stunt is just begging for you to eventually get it done to you somehow.

>Poetic justice causes me to become a busty maid

I... am strangely less bothered by this than I probably should be.

>>13018367

yea that's quite lame. PLUS if they failed the save for bestow curse, they would've failed the save for FoD or PK anyway, and thus the spell was a waste.

>>13019870
You may not become a maid per say. You would keep your class levels, after all. So you could easily wind up continuing to curse people.
This is starting to sound like the plot of a bad anime. Boy disrupts evil wizards spellcasting, backlash turns them into the boys devoted(but crazy) harem girl. Can he prevent her from turning everyone he knows into a harem of devoted females? Can he manage to hide the fact that he is living with her from his tsundere crush?

Target is transported to a world where The Expendables never got made.