My friends were turned into chopped meat.

We switch from second edition to the shit that Wizards of the Coast puts out.

I once had to be forced to eat a well-done steak at knifepoint.

Fuck I'm hungry and unable to get something to eat in another two hours.
GODDAMNIT OP

DM invited his girlfriend.

So help me god she looked like she was made of the stuff of nightmares. And also about 400 pounds of tube steak in a tube top.

I don't hang with that group anymore.

I had my still-living head cut off and placed in the cleric's bullseye lantern until we could get our hands on some way to either attach me to a new body or regenerate mine.

We have fairly tame games, I guess.

I thought that was a chopped dick.

Raping mostly.

Back in 2nd Edition, I played a Cambion Fighter/Thief with proficiency slots in leatherworking. If you can't figure out what he was making the leather out of, then I'm in the wrong thread.

>>12963269

The foreskins of all the villiage children he circumcised?

Everybody needs a hobby

I hear it's hygenic

My werewolf and his pack in W:tA invaded a cloning vats that was churning out clones of "The Perfect Soldier", or some shit, and we intended to destroy it. The place was wall-to-wall of fetuses in vats.

Cue me smashing two vats, grabbing two fetuses, tying the umbilical cords together, and making fetus nun-chucks.

Sadly, they didn't have much durability. When one of the fetuses inevitably burst, I threw it away and made a new pair.

I was pretty drunk that night.

rolled 1 = 1

I had my Duros brain put into a Gotal body (This was my choice), not understanding at the time that my brain would not interface with the electromagnetically-sensitive cones of the Gotal, that give them empathic communion with one another. (This was a game in HS by the way). This was after a Sith Lord cut off my foot and then butchered my body. So okay, I go to the Gotal planet (Antares VI or whatever) and guess what? It's an entire society that shuns me and is embarrassed by my appearance. Okay, I get that I fucked up with my choice of clone body, but the DM keeps driving it home that these people shun and hate me, that I am alone in a crowd, in a world of crowds, blah blah blah. And he's the one that made our mission to there. So my character is now this outcast freak with the wrong kind of brain in a cloned body because my old body had pretty much been obliterated by a Sith.

I got my character killed pretty quickly after that and rolled up a new one, and all was well. I learned my fucking lesson.

played a LE half-orc monk/assassin in a desert crossing... the rogue and I double-raped our cleric and gave her Stockholm Syndrome after several (in game) weeks. By the time we met up with the rest of the party, she was showing signs of insanity, starvation, and was bending over for the rest of the party.

I'm pretty new to tabletop gaming, but off the top of my head? My Tzimisce used Potence to throw a baby at an oncoming semi in a Sabbat game of V:tM I was in last night, right after one of my pack members killed his mother. The baby was splattered, and we scored a new shitty 80s stationwagon that we abandoned later.

>>12963298
>"The foreskins of all the villiage children he circumcised?"
The beauty of using foreskins to make leather goods out of: Make a leather wallet....then rub it....it become a suitcase.

>>12963951
Oh god, so tasteless!

>>12963897
Maybe it's just me, but that doesn't sound terribly LAWFUL evil...

I've played in no less than four different furry campaigns, and run one as well. When times are lean, you take your gaming where you can find it.

>>12962795

Some chud rolled up a kender.

>>12964027
Half-drow kender.
I got you beat.

>>12963897
How'd this work out between the actual players?

>>12964041

Did you kill it dead?

If not, I'd like to offer you a revolver and just one cartridge.

>>12964001
not inherently, it seems rather neutral. Presumably, the "lawful" aspect came out in other ways.

>>12964062
>just one cartridge.
Fuck, give him the full load, just to be sure.

>>12964057
Brotip: This wouldn't happen outside of eRP. Everyone was jerking off under the table/on their keyboards. I'm sure it had a happy ending between the players, if you catch my drift.

Fight scene with a bunch of pathfinder goblins.

In a maternity ward.

Two people vomited, one person walked out on the game, and the next session the DM pointed out what we did wrong (acted like metagaming douchebags and cleaned out the air vents with fire, forcing all of the goblins to head for the closer areas) and restarted from the beginning.
At the end of that, he insisted that everyone in the group punch him in the stomach to purge remaining hard feelings.

>>12964072
The forced the cleric to submit by showing her a contract she signed, where the fineprint clearly stated her ass was theirs.

is that some pork tenderloin

>>12964135
You have an awesome DM. Not many people would offer up their stomach for a group punching in the name of group cohesion.

>>12964135

I'm not quite sure I understand.

>>12964087
>Brotip: This wouldn't happen outside of eRP.
That's what I hope, but I'd totally believe that a pair of maladjusted players and a wuss of a DM could manage to seriously freak out the other players.

>>12964176
Pathfinder goblins are horrible little spazzing cunts that nevertheless end up being goddamn horrific.
Think Gir, only he's not a robot, eats babies, and has all the skills and inclinations of a facehugger.
And there's about fifty of him.

I assume the DM punished them for their metagaming (Flushing out things with fire beforehand) by making the fire force mother goblins with their babies to run out of the maternity ward towards the players. Cue players killing goblin moms and babies.

Well, I've only been in two games, both Star Wars Saga. Most horrible and depraved thing? Hmmm. Myself, another sith apprentice, a scoundrel and a pilot(NPC) were climbing up through a crashed space ship. We were being pursued by a HUGE rancor, and just about everything we tried to do to stop it failed (no lightsabers for sad apprentices). So, the pilot ends up breaking his leg after he fell off a wall he was climbing. The scoundrel, who came with the pilot, and had known him for a while, goes back to him. He hands him a grenade, and the pilot freaks out. He wants to live, but the scoundrel just gives it to him and runs. The rancor quickly catches up to us, and devours the pilot. The scoundrel then pulls a wire that sets off the grenade. He rolls really low, and the grenade does next-to no damage to the rancor.

So, the scoundrel sacrificed the pilot for nothing. And not a single fuck was given by the sith.

>>12964190
True, but I don't think the cleric player would actually play out the whole Stockholm syndrome part of it after the fact, rather than just walking out.

If I misread it and the cleric was an NPC though, your scenario is entirely plausible.

>>12964214
See, but then they give us things like this.

>diliplak accessary

>>12964221

Hmmm, I guessed wrong, whatever the original guy said sounds just as evil though.

>>12964236
Dweet lord above!

...Is...is that a flumph?

>>12964135
>>12964135

I think I need a bit more explanation.

How do we get to vomiting?

My DM thought it was funny to tell us a story how he purposely downloaded child porn.

I then decided to stop playing with him and ignored his phone calls. Best decision I made in my life.

>>12964230

Just to erase all my hope, the cleric player was a guy, wasn't he?

>>12964285

>My DM thought it was funny to tell us a story how he purposely downloaded child porn.

See sometimes I wonder if I might have some autism-related disorder. Then I realize, no, I may be poorly socialized by ultra-religious parents, but seeing people say shit like this, with no understanding of the consequences, makes me see what real mental illness is like.

>>12964282
DM has a talent for describing things well.
Group is fairly ungrimdark.
Baby bits everywhere.
Blowing out the air vents meant all fifty goblins ended up in the first fight area, instead of the running battle the DM had planned.
Three 'Are you sure?'s went unheeded.

>>12964273
Yes, from that newPF book, Misfit Monsters Redeemed or somesuch.

I flipped through it and frankly, I wasn't impressed. The first page of the book gives you the impression that the 10 or so covered monsters didn't have any fluff whatsoever, and that Paizo added awesome fluff for them.

In reality, most of the monsters already were, canonically, what Paizo wrote them up to be, they just expanded on it a little. A nice fluffy little book, but not much else.

>>12964301

...Alright, I'll have to chalk vomiting just from hearing the description of something to a mentality I just don't understand

I can try to empathize I guess. People don't understand how badly I'm scared of heights. I'm not going to put one foot out the door on your goddamn 26th story balcony, I don't care how nice the couch out their is.

>>12964282
They eat babies. D:

>>12964321

>out their
>their

Oh fuck, shoot me now.

>>12964299

Oh, there where consequences on the DM part. He wanted to play a 'game' called "Fill up my HDD with Child Porn and see how fast the police come to my door"

Because he told us he himself was a minor at the time, and because of some Canadian law, he got off scott free, but failed to realize that shit like that can still be brought up in a court of law against him. That and not want to make anyone interact with you, EVER.

WoD party seduced and gangbanged a girl while her boyfriend was locked in a closet for the night, then made him breakfast the next morning. The bacon was made from the girl after we were done with her.

>>12964346

Canadafag here. I hope he enjoys his future employers still seeing that on his record, because I'm pretty sure shit like that doesn't just vanish.

>>12964359
Ah, gotta love it.

>>12964359
You absolutely suck. Unless you're sitting on the reveal that her name was Reese.

>>12964366

Somehow he got his ass into the American Air Force, where he does nothing but sit on his ass, and plays WoW all the time.

>>12964359
that is just wrong.
it takes much longer to make proper bacon.

>>12963897
>atheist who might be ready to find faith, if that is what happens to clerics.
>would high specs in first aid and an overly trusting personality work?

>>12964388

My opinion of the Chair Force slips another notch.

>>12964366
>because I'm pretty sure shit like that doesn't just vanish.
>he got off scott free,
I sure hope it vanishes. If anything you'd ever get accused of is told to anyone who asks, that's not a good situation.

>>12964413

If he was convicted but let go on account of his age, it would be on record. Clearly that's not what happened here.

>>12964359
Shit like this is why folks don't like WoD players.

>>12964387
DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>>12964011
Wait, I'm curious, how'd that work out?

>>12964338
For what? A common ass gramatical mistake on a board you can't edit your posts? Don't OCD, it read just fine.

My friend (human sorceror) and I (dwarven rogue) got real drunk at a party welcoming us to some remote elven settlement. We double-teamed a young elven lass, only to later discover that she was a lizard (shape changer). Fuck you DM, fuck you.

>>12964458
Believe it or not, it worked out fine and I would (and do) play with these guys again. Different strokes for different strokes, Ironclaw is pretty similar to D&D if you just start disregarding the furry character descriptions.

Although if I do say so myself, my bat graverobber is pretty cool.

>>12964428

Knowing the scumbag, he probably doesn't want people to know he still has that mark on his record. He likes to brag a lot to people about nonsense that make normal people want to hang themselves from boredom

How the Chair Force let him in, I got no idea. Maybe they're THAT desperate

>>12964463
Except that a large chunk of /tg/ would love to have your DM.

>>12964478
Different strokes for different FOLKS. Derp, I'm sleepy.

>>12964458
Was the grammar mistake in that post on purpose?

In my last D&D campaign, our first encounter with the mind flayers was coming across a village where they thought it would be funny to "experiment" with the locals. The first thing we saw was a man pinned on the wall of a farm, in several pieces, mainly individual organs. After a brief examination, it seemed they had cut out piece after piece out of the poor guy, and kept him alive with curative magics. We were so pissed when the mind flayers managed to escape, because after a few more finds like that, we wanted to fucking murder them.

>>12964463
heh.

Your DM is an okay guy.

In a nWoD Changeling game I was in, everyone had been affected by a powerful curse that would cause us all to slowly fade from existence. The only way to stop it was a very specific cure: A potion whose primary component was a freshly aborted fetus. Left with no other options, under a severe time constraint, and sent through time back to the prohibition era (for unrelated reasons), we had no choice but to find a 7-months pregnant woman, knock her out, abort her fetus with crude and improvised tools, leave her to bleed to death in the back seat of her car, and come back to boil and brew the bloody fetus into a drinkable potion. My character, a Wizened who had only escaped from Faerie a few days before, ended up joining the Court of Winter because of it, when he realized that this was what his life was going to be like from now on.

>>12962795
fuck you know you've been on 4chan too long when you see a pic like that and think "oh wow someone grilled and chopped up a penis" and not "oh that steak looks delicious"

>>12964514
My post?

>>12964478
Their is a whole furry splatbook for DnD. I've read Ironclaw and I find it to be boring on a read through. Maybe I just didn't get it or I let my hard-on for wizards blind my judgement.

I thought I saw a penis when I scrolled by.

Did any one else see the penis OP posted?

>>12964463
A male or female lizard?

>>12964601
We all saw a penis.

>>12964601
I thought it was a pair of spread legs with pink in the middle. Kind of appropriate.

>>12964600
>Their is a whole furry splatbook
Bastards and Bloodlines, you mean? Because it's not really a furry splat as such. Everything in it is a hybrid, even if more than a few of the creatures look like furries.

>>12964589
>>12964601

Flaming faggots.

That's steak, or possibly roast beef.

I don't know how on earth you see a penis there.

>>12964600

Yeah, should be "on a board where you can't edit your posts". No big deal, I just enjoy responding to corrections with even more mistakes myself, and I was wondering if that's what you were doing.

>>12964611

He never told us......HE NEVER TOLD US!!! OH GOD!!!

>>12964642

Should also be grammatical.

I grew tired of a man letting his whores lounge about the street, bringing down property value--so I scarred up their faces with my switchblade, made it so no one would ever fuck them again.

Clean streets and everyone lived. Hooray!

>>12964653
Either way you still had sex with a dwarf

Two sick bastards eRP'd consensual sex in the missionary position.

>>12964636
No, it's this other book. I think they were called 'beast-folk'.

>>12964673

>fucked up the whores and not the pimp

You're the shittiest excuse for a human being I've ever heard of.

>>12964638
It's just a thing you get from being on /b/ for too long. You see small images of cylindrical things and immediately assume it's a penis.

>>12964690

>I was the dwarf.......

>>12964710
Okay, not a book but DnD wiki.

http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Beastfolk_%283.5e_Race%29

One of my party members in Dark heresy was getting ready to evac us I went after one of our members being a meta gaming prick I am, He was about to die and I didn't want that being noble and all. I got knocked out with gas so the whole party save him and one other went after us. Then Magical guns came outta nowhere cause our GM sucks. They trained on the Ornothopter, Our GM really likes them, The pilot ejected the other party member and flew that Sonuvabitch into the side of the building we were all in. The magic gun wasn't there but somehow that act got rid of it. He burned a fate point and the rest of us were on fire. He got up naked due to clothes being burnt off stole onther Ornithopter and we flew away.

>>12964726

Don't get me wrong, I was positive that was a vagina first time I saw it. But roast beef?

>>12964726
That picture looks like a disgusting rotten vag and spread legs

>>12964638
I saw it too. It's because I'm used to people posting things like mutilated genitals on 4chan, so when I see something that looks vaguely like rotting dick, I assume that's what it is and then proceed to ignore it.

>>12964736
eeeeewwwwww

>>12964720

Meh, if I beat a pimp's ass and then left town, he'd certainly go back to his usual tricks. My solution was more permanent.

>>12964794

Yeah, but it's not affecting your property values, so why do you give a fuck?

One time the party took the corpses left over by a disaster on the space station, pureed them, dumped it over themselves in order to fool a DNA scanner.

Let me repeat that. They took dead bodies, ground them up, and bathed in them so they could get past a door.

I had never before and never since been simultaneously so impressed with their ingenuity and so appalled by their... everything else.

I too saw mutilated genitals every time I scrolled by.

goddamn you 4chan. goddamn you for doing this to me.

>>12964835

Its the principle of the matter. Pimping is wrong. I was a LG paladin, I couldn't just stand there and do nothing while the harlots lured married men away from their wives.

>>12964863
No, you're saying 'whoring is wrong'.

And you're a fucked up paladin.

>>12964863

>I was a LG paladin

Dressed up like Nazis and circled a synagogue in a low rider while playing Hanzel und Gretyl CDs to cause a distraction in a Shadowrun style D20 Modern game.

It make perfect sense at the time, since our target was across the street and we figured they'd be distracted by the Nazis playing industrial music and throwing empty bottles of malt liqueur at pedestrians.

>>12964863

In other words, saw a woman whose only crime was that she was being taken advantage of by her pimp. You then attacked this woman, who had no way of defending herself, and inflicted permanent injury upon her.

>I was a LG paladin

"Was" being the operative word. I sure hope you dressed warm, 'cause it's time for FALL.

>>12964879

So... is whoring not wrong? This used to be a nice neighborhood!

>>12964950

So I should have killed the man instead? I don't see what I was supposed to do. This simply felt like the nicest solution.

>>12964991
>Nicest solution
>Cutting up women

Yeah, if your DM didn't take away your paladinhood then you have a strange group.

>>12964957
Fuck no. Selling your body to make money is your right. It is the fault of the customer if they are married.

Only posting because I thought OP's pic was a mutilated penis. Oh god.

>>12965044

We're 4e :)

>>12964991

Killed a predatory parasite who almost certainly abuses the women and forces them into street prostitution as opposed to a more private and comfortable arrangement they could control themselves, as opposed to mutilating defenseless women likely forced into prostitution by circumstances?

Sure seems like the kinder solution to me, Jack.

What kind of a pussy paladin are you that you're too afraid to kill evildoers?

the worst was when a PC got raped. the player thought it was a good idea (the BBEG was a serial rapist and had tied her up) and the scene faded to black before it got too graphic.

so, not much at all.

In a Pathfinder game, a member of our party was a halfling rogue meant for guile and trickery. He seemed harmless enough, if a pathological liar, until one night when he decided to steal money from a group of gnome bookmakers. The money he stole was the money I had actually used to pay for a new, pimped out spellbook.

He snuck into the gnomes' room, made sure they all stayed unconscious by knocking them out with non-lethal damage, and then proceeded to wake up and torture each gnome in turn to find the three keys to their ridiculously awesome coffer. The gnomes he wasn't torturing at a given moment were bound and gagged. He ended up cutting off one gnome's finger, gagging him, but not knocking him out again.

The three gnomes eventually woke up during the night and had to listen for hours while the fourth screamed for help, but all four were gagged, so no one could hear them. The fourth gnome died from blood loss. Imagine listening to one of your best friends scream, bleeding to death, over the course of several hours, and be able to do nothing about it.

>>12965093
He's the faggot kind.

>>12965065
Look, I know that 4e doesn't have "Paladins can fall" in bright shiny letters like 3.5 did, but a Paladin can still suffer pretty nasty punishments and "fall". It is just the DM's choice whether to inflict this on you.

The real question is what deity did your paladin follow and would it have approved of your action?

One of my players was playing a blacksmith, and said "I want an adventure about bloodsmithing. I want to be a bloodsmith, who bleeds into the metal to make it better."

The game started off with amnesia, so everyone had a blank slate. He walks into the first major town, and gets grabbed by another smith. "You bastard! How could you come back! I convinced them to let you go!" Little Suzie, his daughter, runs out and starts crying. He goes in back, and finds out the truth: Bloodsmithing involves using a human-worth of blood, and as a rite of initiation, the first "piece" has to be a loved one. The player is given a choice, sacrifice the daughter he doesnt remember, or give up himself.

The rest of the adventure goes on while the player decides, and he hands me a note. Suzie and the player walk in, and the player walks out. Now plus warhammer.

>>12965065

I'm having trouble thinking of a lawful good deity who wouldn't give you an angry 3 AM prophetic vision about that shit. They may not take away your paladinhood, but you are supposed to represent their interests and glorify their name. Knifing prostitutes is the actions of a serial killer, not a holy knight glorifying his god.

Your DM is fucking awful if he let you get away with that, 4e or no.

>>12965119
To clarify, the three gnomes could hear the dying gnome because they were all in the same room, but the gags prevented any of them being loud enough for the innkeeper to hear them downstairs.

>>12965093

I'm not afraid to kill evildoers when I see them, I do it all the time, but I'm not about to kill a man for trying to make a living. I just roughed up some of his property so that he understood the need for more more honest, alternatives for revenue; he needn't cheapen himself by selling whores.

>>12965164

>I was a LG paladin

>>12965164
>property

Oh boy, oh boy

>>12965164
Bravo sir, 10/10 (and I don't say that lightly), I'm surprised it took me this long to figure it out.

>>12965164
This sentence is such abject failure that I actually may have contracted cancer from it.

>>12965164
Whores don't actually need to look pretty to get use.

>>12965164
Isn't it great how you don't even need to be good to be a Paladin in 4E? You can just go around killing whores and endorsing pimps without any semblance of law or good.

What the fuck are Paladins supposed to be after this? Fuck I hate WotC so much.

Me and the orc argueing over if we should sell the children as meat or slaves.
The half-dragon wanted to rape them.
Yay evil campaign.
Pic related DM's face when.

Severed head man from before.

With little other recourse, we ended up carrying my living severed head in a lantern into a cult lair, where we got into a rather messy fight. I now have a temporary body made from the stitched-together remains of the cult's sacrificial victims, as the evil magic still permeating their corpses permitted easy reanimation.

So I'm a mage made out of dead children. Yaaaay.

Fuck.

>>12965225

Oh man. Cause you know, you don't serve a god or anything. A god that can take away your powers or smite you where you stand for besmirching his or her name with your actions. Paladin = holy warrior in 4e, undefined by alignment but defined by deity. And if said deity is displeased with what you use their powers for, then you're in deep shit.

>>12964299
Get the fuck off 4chan, doubles-anon.

>>12965225

Paladins can be any alignment because it was fucking stupid to have to have different base classes for religious warriors of different alignments.

Why fuck around making a whole different blackguard class when just saying "you're a paladin, but evil" works just as well?

Surely there are evil gods, and those evil gods have evil servants, and they can invest those servants with some of their evil divine power.

420 play a paladin of Asmodeus every day

>>12965296
Oh so it's like, Paladin of deity X or deity Y and your deity dictates your actions? Are they just more melee-oriented clerics, then?

Source is Orcstain totally related

>>12965298

You seem upset, anon.

you are now aware the OP picture looks like chopped black cawk

>>12965318

Yes. A cleric is entrusted to guide the flock and minister the good (or malicious) word of their deity. A paladin is an enforcer of that deity's will. The two cross streams sometimes, but that's the basic gist of it.

>>12965332
That actually makes a lot of sense. I'm (begrudgingly) starting to like 4E more and more every day.

>>12965204
>>12965205
>>12965210
>>12965296
>>12965311
I posted a relevant story that answers OP's question and you twats feed the troll. My face when.

>>12965342

There's nothing wrong with 4e, and anyone that hates on it over a different edition is being silly. You might like it less, but it's solid, easy to play, and makes you think a lot more in combat, since your tactics rely a lot less on 'rule of cool'. I lament the loss of the 'imaginary battlefield' myself, but 4e is a spectacular squad-based tactical combat game that supports role-playing as well.

>>12962795
I accidentally teleported a fellow PC into my (non-magical) backpack and in the same process turned him into minced meat.

It was a wild surge and he was a 4-session-no-show so the DM just wanted to kill him off. Still it was pretty fucked and the fact that it happened in a city without me knowing what had gone wrong did give quite a few problems when people suddenly saw blood oozing from my backpack without me knowing it

>>12965360

Ahh, but I enjoyed every minute of it.

>>12962795
....
Anyone else think that was a dick covered in shit while being flayed?

I think I need to get away from 4chan.

>>12965274
Newest news from Severed Head Man Whose Head Is Attached To A Crude Golem Stitched Together From Dead Children.

The cult's high priestess is also suffused with sufficient evil magic. I have requested that the warrior and rogue aim for her head and leave the rest intact.

This is seriously some mad science shit and certainly won't have negative repercussions later-- they're already making fun of me. But fuck if I want to be composed of a decaying pile of random parts.

>>12965332
Don't forget stuff like the Avengers, or the Invokers. Avengers are the secret militant branch used to wipe stuff out and hunt down enemies of their god.

Invokers function as literal mouthpieces for their god and directly channel their god's divine might and will, whereas Clerics and Paladins have to go through various rites and rituals in order to receive their power.

>>12965373
>There's nothing wrong with 4e
I actually would beg to differ, but between all of the editions of D&D, it's not "bad". I would say even better than 3.5, kind of better than Pathfinder, but still not to my taste. It can be better.

>>12965403
My first thought was "meat." Then I read the post and immediately thought cooked and sliced wang.

>>12965433

Mhmm. Though, the caveat with Invokers being that, since they are so close to their god(dess), they are held to even higher standards. Whereas a cleric or paladin could have a lapse in judgment every once in a while and be OK, an Invoker must live as though he or she were the god(dess) in question, and exemplify their message in everyday life. True devotion, in other words.

>>12965433
Invokers: Crazy prophets with the DIVINE POWERS OF THE GODS.
Avengers: JIHAD. Almost literally hashashin. Religiously-driven secretive fuckers who will declare anathema on one person at a time and wreck them.
Paladins and clerics are basically what you think.

>>12965441

Nothing wrong with it aside from personal taste and/or the same issue all PnP games suffer from in lack of realism or overrealism to the point of systemic strangulation. Don't usually mention these bits since they are synonymous with all PnP games.

I wouldn't call any game perfect.

This happened.

my character was egged on by slaanesh and their own crazy nature to snoo snoo an underaged b&.

The point being that I kind of love the way Divine Powers are handled in 4e.
> Gods are no longer omnipotent, and no longer need symmetrical counter-balances to explain why shit's the way it is in the game.
> No more handwaving or ridiculously complex or overpowered shit regarding gods.
> Gods are kept in check by powerful individuals, Primordials, and Primal Spirits.
> Threat of Primordials used to explain how the pantheon manages to get along despite directly opposing each other.
> gods no longer have specific Planes, but instead they have domains in the astral sea for their followers that can be visited by ship or portal.

>>12965409
Update: Combat began. The priestess failed her save on the cleric's Hold Person and got coup-de-graced by the rogue. Warrior removed my head from the Child Corpse Golem and plunked it on her neck stump. Cleric sewed it on.

I can finally cast spells again. Unfortunately, the surviving townsfolk who were meant to be the next sacrifices saw the whole thing and the others won't stop giving me shit.

Feels bad, man.

We tortured a priest by taking a pointy bit of his Holy Symbol, sticking it under his big toe, and driving it in with a hammer. Then when we ran out of big toes (the rest wouldn't fit the symbol), we healed them up. The Assassin was cradling the guy's head as he was screaming in pain, whispering "shh shhh shh" in his ear while his player was making the creepiest face ever.

The Paladin had some atonement to do. It was a dark night for us all.

Had a really whiny person insisting he should become a werewolf over the course of the campaign.

The DM got tired of his shit, and eventually made him get raped by a transformed male werewolf.

He was butthurt (in game and out of game) after that

I threw a man into a room filled with a flesh-eating airborne pathogen.

After I slashed a hole in his protective suit with a knife.

I guess I'm kind of a bad guy.

Horrible and depraved things?

Uhh..

Well, my current character is something of a bloodcrazed berserker. At one point we were participating in a keep assault, and I was frenzied. I proceeded to slaughter my way through the keep's interior, killing everyone in my path. When I was done, it turned out that amongst the soldiers there were also numerous civilians, including the Baron's wife and daughter.

A river of gore three inches deep flowed out the front doors that day. The group joked that I gained 'blood armour' from the coating of slick gore that was surely all over me afterwards.

That's really about it. Nothing sexual or creepy. Just good old fashioned ultraviolence.

>Start a post-apocalypse campaign.
Yaaaay! Fun in the sun!
Everyone rolls up their characters - one of which decided he was going to go Nietzsche on everyone's asses, talking about how the strong rule the weak and all that.

Fine, that's well and fine, as a GM I can see how that happens in the wasteland. This is the beginnings of organized society, after all.

So eventually the party comes across a warband of raiders. After beating some, he takes one of their heads. Everyone assumes this to be a trophy, it'll be gone in a few weeks, yano? Cool character fluffing, john.

He takes the head to the camp of the warband and demands he take a place of command here. Just as a side-note, this bandit group is widely known for raping and pillaging. If the PCs would have asked about them, they might have found that the initiation rite is gang-bang, or rape, if you struggle against it.

It's funny how people suddenly think it so wrong that the strong get to rule, when they're the ones who are being oppressed. He was very pissed off, but I showed him the campaign note I had on that faction, dated piece of paper and everything. I wrote this faction this way before the campaign even started. It was his fault he walked straight into gang-rape.

And that's the story of me turning someone into a moralfag.

>>12965433

Actually the description is that invokers are people liked by the gods enough or just lucky enough to be taught "divine magic". As in the same kind of way that gods use their own magic to make themselves more powerful and to bend the world to their will. It's like finding out there's a source of power and then how to tap it.

Clerics are a god's mouth.
Paladins are a god's fists.
Avengers are a god's knife.
Invokers are a god's children. (in the non-literal way).

Bump for depravity! Let's hear it from you, daytime /tg/!

Hormagaunt necro-rape. Also one player (playing medic) planting a mini-bomb in another player prostate. And later activating it.

Well, I haven't been playing RPGs that long, and I am a bit of a white knight, but I do have something I did that could be considered depraved.

You see, I was playing as a giant electric cockroach in Gamma World, and we were trying to kill a landshark so we could get to our Dabber friend's car. Long story short, we killed the Landshark, but not before it killed the Dabber beyond any hope of revival.

So, due to a quirk of my character's culture, I decide t the best way to honor the Dabber's memory was to eat him to gain his strength (Although his maker rolled very poorly upon character creation). I rolled a natural twenty on my roll to cook him, and the DM said that he was delicious.

I also honored his memory by making his bones into a crossbow that is haunted by the Dabber's ghost and serves as my main heavy weapon. I don't know if any of this is depraved on the level of what you've posted, but as I have said I have not played RPGs very long.

>>12965718
I prefer:

Clerics are the head of the church.
Paladins are its strong back, to support those who need it.
Avengers are the fists of god. They find and destroy those who would causes evil.
Invokers are the stomping foot.

>>12965718
>>12965433
>>12965332
>>12969433
I liked it better when we only had Clerics and Paladins were knights in shining armor to a fault.
Could we go with that instead?

My Half-Fey (Unseelie) Minotaur Psychic Warrior has made it a habit of raising 'cattle' among other sentient humanoids, buying them as slaves and putting them in a bit ol' plot of land he and the tribe he leads have in the city they're in. He's talked some local psionicists and mages into rendering them into, basically, perfectly subservient breeders. Except his own personal ones, he likes 'em with spunk.

When he found out dwarves can't be bred with minotaurs, he fucked the dwarf to death and roasted her corpse slowly over hellfire, seasoned with the blood of innocent, pacifisitc clerics.

... He's the least evil character in that campaign.

Evil game.

Made nice with another PC's evil slightly-depowered so-much-CHA-it-hurts Erinyes over the course of a few weeks, despite her obvious attempts to seduce and consume my character's soul.

After a few weeks of tension and threats and promises on both sides, and having had enough of her cock-teasing, my character overpowered her, dragged her by her hair to the local temple of all gods, pinned her face-down to an altar to Helm with knives through her wings and raped her repeatedly.

Leave her broken and crying, still pinned to the altar.

Good times.

My character was progressing into demonhood and I got my "recruiter" showing up and he showed me the way he makes them. He targets a family and ruins them in a way with his magic and influence.

For example, the DM revealed it was my recruiter who made my character's father very estranged and why I was always a loner before starting down my path. His life was tailor-made to brew in me bitterness, contempt and estrangement from human emotion.

So he shows up and tells me to look outside the window. There was a mother and a small child. He had told me he had the father killed in a car accident right there 2 years prior. so what does he do? He causes another car accident right then. The car swerved and rammed into the mother, killing her instantly in front of her son.

THEN, due to my character being well on his path of sickfuckery got offered a reward so I picked the mother being resurrected temporarily so I can bang her in front of her son along with a succubus trap who did me up the ass. He asked for a roll, I botched (rolled two 1s) and the DM gave me a speed complication due to the succubus shoving a 10 inch cock right up my ass all night. Everybody laughed at me.

Felt good, man.

i killed him...it feels so good to get this off my chest

Flesh golem made out of dead prostitutes, animated in the name of an unnameable Cthulu-type god. It had tenticles, and every hit required multiple saves to avoid a truly staggering variety of STD's.

This was in a 2nd Edition Ravenloft game I ran. Using the full fear/horror rules.

nWoD changeling
My character was autumn brewer who was a part of The Knights of the Tongue which is a group of changeling chiefs who find odd recipes/distill emotions and memories into food, and travel the hedge for all these odd little things for their master pieces. He was fairly young and had been warned many times to keep in contact with humans so he wouldn't go mad. So, he started a soup kitchen to showcase his talents and connect to people in order to stabilize him. It was also a great way to collect fear.

>>12970006
Anyway the kitchen went on for a few months it became a big part of his life. Well the Spring Queen and he had a very rocky relationship. She had been pissed at him for some time for ruining her banquet by having everyone remember the first day they spent with their Gentry.
She saw this as an opportunity to shut him down by using her contacts to take away the funding for the kitchen. He went into a depression as the funding for his soup kitchen began to disappear. But he had to keep it up. So he turned to cooking animals from the hedge for the mortals. He knew this could cause insanity so he distilled pure happiness and ecstasy into each and every meal.
No one checked up on him for a few months. But when the Autumn Queen finally noticed that he hadn’t checked up with them in a while she started looking. She found my character in the hedge grabbing some goblin fruit. He asked if she could help her carry some back to his kitchen, which had a hedge gate entrance in the bathroom.
When she got there she saw that there were 25+ naked 500lbs individuals screaming in ecstasy at the top of their lungs. While the ones who were still able to move were having orgies and licking the soup off of every orifice. There were notes written with fecal matter on the wall, a few cannibalized corpses, a army of ants from the hedge turning a still living homeless man into a ant hill, while those not screaming in ecstasy were crying from withdrawals from the food. My character just smiled and said “would you like some mushroom soup?” The girl didn’t go back to game for 2 sessions.

Evil party. Found a beautiful little girl, about seven years old, captured her so that we could make her into a slave and a toy. Upon undressing, we found a small pair of wings in her back: she was a half-celestial.

Well, we just shrugged, clipped those little wings off, cut her face, blinded her, raped her, and did all kinds of other depraved shit.

Then her dad came knocking. The campaign ended there and then, in a TPK.

ITT: SICK FUCKS
SICK FUCKS EVERYWHERE

>>12970085
Well, what'd you expect?

teabagged a goblin

The worst I've done is rip some evil bastard's eyes. But he was a slaver so he deserved it.

>>12970082
>Then her dad came knocking. The campaign ended there and then, in a TPK

Good ending.

Why are people roleplaying rape in their games? =/

I know someone who was raped at the age of 14 and their life has been ruined by that, even though 8 years have passed they've developed BDD and BPD, lots of rape victims commit suicide after the emotional trauma and impact it has on their life. I don't see why you'd want to portray it for entertainment....

>>12962795
Probably doesn't match what you guys did, but I did a nice little one-shot horror adventure.

A noble was getting along in his years, and was afraid that his squandered life was going to bring him an eternity of suffering, so he sought out a powerful devil to help him become an immortal lich.

He listened to the devil's honeyed words and followed the advice verbatim, up to and including slaughtering all of his servants in the house while they slept. He spoke the incantation to transfer his soul to the phylactery, but the devil left out one small fact... to become a lich, he had to infuse his body with negative energy while still alive.

The result? His body went limp on the floor, yet with his soul still stuck on the prime, he was unable to depart. So he just spent the next 80 years being mocked by the devil, feeling his skin grow cold, his body decay, and the maggots devouring his flesh.

>>12970278
Because people are sick. Then there are others who demand realism and in the middle age fantasy settings or modern day despots means rape.

>>12970288
Also drama buttons. Can't forget that but NPCs or PCs which need that extra kick of DEEP need rape in their pasts.

Basically if you'll see something used on tv or in a comic you'll see it on table top. People are killed with violence even of just fist fights on a daily basis yet we fucking enjoy playing games where we pound people for no other reason to say our guy was better.

I can't think of any particularly gratuitously evil things. A few little evil things though.

Like murder-raping a Loyalist Changeling after he told us where his mistress was. For no particular reason. I was playing a serial killer vampire, so it just seemed natural that I wouldn't let our prisoner go or leave him unmolested.

In the Ashwood Abbey game I'm playing in at the moment, we bought a few students a house, then registered everything in our names, hoping that the Vampires who were after us would go after them instead and give us a few days more.

Or in a Network Zero game, deliberately causing the spread of a horrendous, face-ripping spirit because it seemed like the best way to get the Truth out there.

Or my players in my WFRP game, who killed a small homestead of Slaaneshi cultists, then took their children as slaves. When they freed the Dwarf Slayer they had tied up in the basement, he tried to kill them, which would have been something of a mercy when what followed was dragging the kids through a Nurglite Temple, almost having one character rape them and then selling them to a decidedly dodgy dealer in town.

>>12970278
Well, killing and dying and warfare aren't too awesome in real life, either, yet we do that stuff too.

>>12970317
>rape
>rape
>rape
what the fuck is wrong with you?

>>12970278

>>12970288
>>12970310

I guess, but in the context of a tabletop game, killing enemies tend to lead to "extreme evil" or "fantasy creatures" that are "evil" and it's make believe. You don't have the real power to cast magic, and you're probably not skilled enough with a weapon to actually perform the feats your character can.

However in real life, you are capable of rape. And rape usually happens to innocent people or defenseless women or any number of scenarios.

I can justify in my mind killing evil. But I cannot justify rape. I guess since this person who is now my partner has been so affected by it, it's rubbed off on me. I couldn't bare to even pretend to rape something, the state she is in because of it, it's ruined her whole life in so many ways, and the damage is so hard to fix. Rape victims don't deserve it.

>>12970372
>I can justify in my mind killing evil. But I cannot justify rape. I guess since this person who is now my partner has been so affected by it, it's rubbed off on me. I couldn't bare to even pretend to rape something, the state she is in because of it, it's ruined her whole life in so many ways, and the damage is so hard to fix. Rape victims don't deserve it.
Yes, go ahead and tell everyone why you are soapboxing so hard. Then they will listen.

>>12970372
>Fantasy creatures
Who said that? It could be the other kingdom, some guys at the bar who took offense to you being foreign in a time of war, or whatever scenario is up. While I understand people do the default "go kill evil things" there are people who run more gray moral games.

Then you have sick fucks.

>>12970395

True that, but, you can dismiss it easily when you don't encounter the aftereffects on a daily basis. I admit before I really got to know her, I'd use the word "rape" when regarding games like "I raped that guys base" but even that's changed for me now because it means more.

Probably gonna get flamed and lol'd at no doubt, but that shouldn't be the case.

>>12970372
And there are women with rape fantasies, it's actually quite common and are often as over dramatized and not 'rape' as the scenarios that some fat guys come up with.

>>12970409

I'm fine with that too to be honest, like, a gray area or conflict and violence is fine. If your reasoning is logical, even if wrong (by a judge's view or whatnot), sure, go ahead and kill someone in a fantasy setting. It wont bother me to hear / watch media / play as a character who makes some morally gray decisions, I understand that.

I get a little bothered when it comes to innocents though, like actual innocent (inb4 daemon) children etc.. and especially rape, which, I dunno, It don't sit right with me.

I know killing / torture / fights etc.. aren't good for the people who've experienced it elsewhere, and in the case of the innocent parties who suffer male, female, young and old they have my sympathy, but when it's happened over a cause, that's their own fault.

I'd happily play a game with my current friends where we make some bad decisions etc.. and do "evil" but if it crossed the line into rape I'd have to walk out.

One of you players refused to learn common...
I think i accidentally killed him more times than i can count.
I stopped rezing him, his soul still haunts me...

>>12970339

In my defence, only one of those rapes was committed by me, and it was only implied. And the character was my only real experiment in playing a thoroughly evil character. I've never played someone that bad before, and I doubt I will again.

The other one was one of my players and we pretty quickly shut it down.

I've had a man attached to pain boosters and then drilled a couple holes in his tibias, strung steel cables through the holes and hung weights until his legs tore off his body. Incidentally, that was because i dislike rape.

I joined a large, epic level DnD 3.0 campaign towards the end. As every main class was already taken, I went with a rogue as the original rogue was more DPS, and mine was more SKILLS, SKILLS EVERYWHERE!

All the PCs and countless DMPCs are gathered in this pocket plane preparing to fight an entity who was trying to destroy reality itself, and had already killed some Gods.

One of the DMPCs was the greatest assassin ever named Shadow. He goes up to the original rogue and offers to be his mentor in becoming the next great assassin. Cost of Tuition: kill someone in camp. The emo CG male Drow Rogue says "No, I'd never do that." So Shadow pops up next to my character, tells him the other rogue denied his request, and offered to teach my character at the same price.

I ask the DM who was in the town that was "worthless" ie wouldn't be fighting in the final battle. Turns out the other Rogue's sister, brother-in-law, and two nieces were in town and had no purpose.

>>12970531

Oh, the other caveat was that not only did I have to kill someone, I had to make sure I wasn't caught.

My character uses the hat of disguise to conceal himself to look like the known CE NPC in the town. He then sneaks into the house and cuts off the brother-in-law's head with a vorpal sword.

This is when I went overboard.

In stead of just leaving the husband's head in the bed ala The Godfather, my character took the head, went into the kids room, found a teddy bear, cut off the bear's head and replaced it with the father's. I then went back, put the bear's head on the father's body, and removed its eyes.
----
The next morning a scream is heard. Everyone gathers around the murder scene. My character casually walks in and pulls a Terry Tate "What's going on in- DAMN!"

The CG Cleric's PC goes apeshit and vows that he'll prove my character did it and spends a week looking over every NPCs powers and his own.

He asks everyone. My Bluff was stupid high, so I lie. He casts Zone of Truth. Again, Bluff was high and lie my way through it.

Finally he has the Druid NPC turn into a wolf/dog and smell the body and then every weapon. She smells the blood on my sword.

Cleric goes apeshit and says "I'm disintegrating him now!" My will sucks. Roll will. Succeed.

Cleric is even more pissed off. He gathers the 2 NPC clerics to cast it again simultaneously at my character. Second time I make my save. Third time, I fail.

The cleric is smug as fuck. The DM looks over to me and asks "Is there anything you could do?"

I look over my inventory. I remember I have a Rod of Security on me at all times. I roll bluff to make it look like I was disintegrated, when in actuality I fled to my own plane.

Cleric PC was pissed. Still is partly.

>>12970602
>And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I gained my first level in Magnificent Bastard.

>>12970346
oh god that is so retarded i want to punch him in the face

>>12970602
Wait, why would the Cleric suspect you in the first place?

>>12970696
The Cleric's PC was just pissed that my character had killed someone and also my character constantly lied and deceived people with my stupid high bluff. None of them decided to take Sense Motive, and even then, my bluff was higher.

The Cleric didn't trust me as I was the newest member of the party.

But yes, it was a lot of metagaming on the Cleric's PC. Which is partly why the DM gave me that shot. Also the DM hated the cleric's PC.

>>12970531
> Shadow

THE SHADOW!?

>>12970623
I also forgot: even though I had started as CG, the DM decided that the murder brought me down to CE. The Cleric tried to have a paladin Detect Evil, but I had a Ring of Hide Alignment from before I'd even gotten into this situation.

evil necromancer

found out after town the merchant ripped me off and sold me cheap glass instead of the gems I needed

So I went back, killed his daughter, raised her and took her to the guy telling him I'd make her kill his family while he watched if he'd not give me my gems

DM made me roll

I botched it

Guy laughed in my face


I'm a man of my word

>>12970740
THE SHADOW‽

>>12970602
I'm really curious how you used Bluff to lie under Zone of Truth, which doesn't allow someone to lie AT ALL if they fail their save.

Nice story for the kids, though!

The SHADOW!

>>12970780
I had made my save, by one point. I was rolling high enough until the third and final Disintegration. Which again factors into why the Cleric was so pissed.

>>12970782

The Shadow

I killed a kobold...

>>12971069
Using your penis?

>>12971069

You sick fuck.

Half-Orc barbarian collected the penises of foes in what was basically a pillow case as trophies. Because the player was a tard he got his dick stuck in a hole, and couldn't pull free. So he cut off his wang. The cleric healed him to stop the blood loss. He then took 20 to use his untrained craft skill to sew a bugbear penis (because it was biggest) onto his crotch. Gentle repose on the penis from the cleric, with plans to cast animate dead on it at a later date. Thank god the game never got that far.

Well I have a loli as a Saint for this convent of Sisters of Battle near where the characters were hanging out. One of the players seemed to have a sincere hatred of this loli and so I gave him a reason to allow him to attempt her untimely demise. He was hired to assassinate her and he was successful. Then I threw on consequences in the form of a shitstorm of conflict.

Sisters of Battle fought Space Marines, though after investigation turns out it was all staged by the Alpha Legion, the characters worked to drive them off, gets the Sisters to work with the loyalists again, etc.etc. Good end despite one of the character's loli-hating actions.

But then I brought her back from the dead and she was pronounced a Living Saint, rekindling that guy's hatred of the loli.

He's now on his own solo quest to sneak into the cathedral, not shoot the loli saint, but to repeatedly smash her head in a doorway to not only gravely injure her but to also break her will to inspire the Sisters of Battle.

How should this end?

>>12972227

It should end in sex.

>>12972227
>How should this end?
>Player thinks he can just manhandle a goddamn LIVING SAINT
He should be burned alive for his heresy. No Sororitas convent is going to leave her vulnerable AFTER SHE'S ALREADY BEEN ASSASSINATED ONCE.

>>12972227
If one of my players had this strong hatred for lolis, I guess I would keep them out of my games?

>>12972324

But that would be no fun!

>>12972361
In that case, how that ends should be decided by has planning and dice rolls.

>>12972324
Better that he has a strong hatred for lolis than a strong "love" for them, if you know what I mean.

>>12972227
The Sororitas Militant catch him in the act and, as an example, disembowel him and drag him through the streets before burning him alive in the city square to a roaring, ecstatic crowd.

>>12972388
This, by the way, is an attempt to be fluff-accurate.

I'm probably not being sadistic enough, really.

>>12970763
How would it be possible to botch such a roll, besides a 1? That is already his dead daughter, who has been brought back as a zombie abomination against all life. I could see the guy refusing or standing up to you, but laughing? He had to have gone insane from the horror of it or something. That, or he was evil as fuck already and thus deserved what he got.

One memorable event, though not the most horrible, was when I played a robot in a post-apocalyptic game. The robots of that world have almost true AI, my character having some problems after falling off an airplane pre-apocalypse.

Either way, my party ended up in a firefight against raiders outside a fallout vault-like structure and was pinned down. I had specialized as fuck in melee combat and mechanics. I was like jackie chan holding a baby in close combat, but couldn't hit the wide side of a barn with a chaingun. My master ordered me to sneak around and "take 'em out" and so I did. Crisis averted I returned by walking back through their burning vehicles to the group.

The party concocted a plan to infiltrate the raider camp and needed disguises. I was sent to gather what was needed from the corpses. Since the raiders all had large beards and tattoos, I came back through the fire carrying one skin-suit for each party member, beard and all.

Master was not pleased.

I was playing a rogue in a roleplay heavy campaign. All the characters had known each other in childhood, went their separate ways as they grew, and reunited when news came of their hometown's sacking by the local lord. We had some pretty awesome people, my personal favorite being a barbarian pirate lord with a flaming iron beard magicked to his face, but my rogue was a quiet, well-adjusted, gentlemanly, wealthy, generous kinda guy. He never spoke of what had gotten him his nice clothes and assortment of daggers, or where he had been living for the past decade, but the rest of the group was too preoccupied with the campaign at had to pry too deeply

Had a threesome with a succubus on the baby-blood drenched altar of a temple of pelor while the succubus ate the limbs off of one of the clerics. This was of course, after we killed the rest of the people inside the temple by raping one of the townswomen with like...30 bottles of alchemists fire so her womb was a massive firebomb then jammed a delayed blast fireball up there and dominated her into running into the temple.

>>12972634

That is the portrait of an archetypal woman.