How do you even chop someone's hands off in Shadowrun? It doesn't use body hit locations, AFAIR.

D&D 4E, my party is messing around in this town built inside and around a giant wrecked ship. We're all scattered on different decks and these goons attack.

I'm playing a Brutal Scoundrel Rogue, and not really up to taking on a guy with plate mail and a halberd all on my own, so I make a tactical retreat into a little side area and hide. While my opponent is searching for me, I scrounge up some rope and a heavy rock. Nearby there is a railing and a drop of several dozen feet. I tie the rope into a noose, throw it over a beam near the railing, and attach the rock as a counterweight.

The mook gets near my hiding spot and I jump out on him, dropping the noose around his neck. I yank on the rope, and by a combination of my own strength, the counterweight, and a crude pulley action from the beam, I lift this guy off the ground and swing him out over the railing. Then I cut the rope.

Insta kill.

>>12776587
OP here. Let's just say that our group as a whole preferred story and fun to rules lawyering.

Dark Heresy. My character, a guardsman with the most wondrous luck in the galaxy, led a slave revolt on a Khornate planet. We had pushed the chaos lord and his guard back into the primary government building, taking the weapons of fallen marines and traitor guard. My character was giving a rally speech, telling the masses how he would lead them from the blood soaked sands of the planet on a path of vengeance through the stars.

That's when I got a tingly feeling. I was giving a speech? So... it must be... I tell the gm that I fire my bolt pistol over my shoulder. He looks at me funny, but tells me to roll for it. I roll a 1. He looks at me again, giving me a funny look. Tells me to roll again. Another 1. He throws up his hands in frustration. I shot my would be assassin in the head, before he even made a move.

>>12776735
>Guardsman's face when

All Flesh Must Be Eaten: Three zombies coming at the party single-file down a narrow hallway. Take aim at the with hunting rifle, fire. Bullet punches through all three zombie heads, they all drop at once.

Hunter (nWoD) game, playing the Union member with the "good" job, working for an airframe manufacturing firm in France. Met up with a group of werewolves who were trying to steal a full engine (I never found out why). They were test-firing it and we ended up in a rivet gun fight, where I wound up falling off of a third-floor scaffold and into a stack of coiled rubber hoses.

I rolled bluff, played dead and disguised my scent with hydraulic fluid, then infiltrated up to the edge of the pile and saw them setting up test-fire it. I tossed a few quarters and bluffed them again into heading down a corridor, where they promptly went batshit on some poor welder who was in the nearby bathroom (likely not the best way to die).

When they came back, my only "attack" was moving a piece of tape on the floor.

They turned on the engine, standing in the designated "safe" zone, and were all abruptly sucked into the engine en masse.

I looted their truck, scored several journals, eventually wound up with a free specialty: Werewolf Lifestyles and Habits.

Favorite line from the game was the ST:
>... wow. I guess, roll Dex plus Subterfuge.

Bump.

Apparently most TGers are the "full attack every round" type.

In a current Eclipse Phase game, one of the team's hackers took over the security system of a small airport. Our missing is to capture some guy who's going to be flying in by plane, dead or alive as long as his ego is intact after.

I suggested taking over air traffic control and making the runway look 100 feet lower to the guy's plane than it actually is. It seems that only the two of this thought this was a good idea.

D&D 3.5, playing a Psion Telepath.


1 shotted the BBE of the chapter with Crisis of Breath.

I was GMing a game of Star Wars: Revised Edition back in the day. First round of combat with my boss encounter (BBEG's bodyguard) the PC rolls a crit with max damage with his blaster rifle. The way crits work in revised though, for those unfamiliar, is that char's have a wound point value that is equal to their con score. After your vitality points (HP) are reduced to 0 you take wound point damage and if thats reduced to 0 you're done. A crit completely bypasses vitality points and applies damage directly to wound points. Max damage with the blaster rifle is 24, and his con score was definitely lower then that...

Either:
Driving a gunship into the chest of a Titan in Rogue Trader. I had to burn all my fate points to survive the successive things that would have killed me, but on the plus side I was rebuilt as like 70% robot.
Or:
Punching the BBEG's 'Dragon' to death with plastic explosive gloves in M&M. This one involves dying a couple of times during the fight.

>>12776735
THE EMPEROR PROTECTS.

RuneQuest.

Classical faustian chaos wizard who lost to the temptation of power and moved over to the dark side traps the party in his tower with a horde of skeletons. Party barricade themselves off into a big equipment, weapons and materials storage high in the building. Seems like stockpiles for a whole army of undead, with all kinds of construction stuff, tools, nails, planks, barrels, and unknown powders and liquids in dwarf-crafted brass tins, along with oodles of other clutter.

Suddenly, PC inspiration strikes.

8 hours later, the barricade is knocked over, and down the main spiral staircase rolls INDOORS BATTLEWAGON, crushing skeletons under it's sheer weight and man-propelled momentum. Back in the storage, a great liquor and lamp-oil assisted blaze is starting off. By the time the party manages to trample their way to the courtyard of the tower better part of the upper floors of the tower explode in a tried and true 80's action movie fashion. After the blaze settles, the party moves back into the ruins to snoop around for loot and look for the wizard, and find him in a state of half-catatonic shock and depression, sitting on the ground and staring listlessly at the stump of what was the first step of his quest of world domination. Not knowing what to do with him, since he's not even resisting, we cart him off with our juggernaut and into town, where he is thrown into prison. Some sessions later, propably a month or two in-game time, we hear that the wizard's passed away due to being too depressed to even eat properly or renew his longevity enchantments.

We crushed an evil, machiavellian madman's soul in one afternoon of woodcrafts and PC-ism.

Horned devil sunders my great axe

A few rounds and AoO against me that stun me afterwards, I finally pick up a great sword, and do enough damage to one-shot him.

CoC Campaign.

While this was the handiwork of the entire party I would like to think that I was the mastermind who thought it all up, because frankly I did.

We were sent in to a town to find missing people, who later turned up as gnawed on carcasses every month. Werewolves say the party in agreement.

We find that they have a large Church in the town, we go and look around for a bit. My friend distracts the priest, I slip into the priest's room, find a passage way down under his bed. We explore later that night, find passage way laden with traps. Off of a main room with symbols on the ground we find store room filled with organs and another room with a small arsenal inside. off the large room is a hall out into the forests behind the town. We leave.

Next day, we are invited to the monthly midnight mass held at the church, and the pre-party at the priest's home. All the town is going, I see this as a good time to act. Half the party goes to make an appearance, me and the ex military get to work.

Cont.

>>12777541

We raid a local importer of fine goods, stealing all the silverware we can possibly find. We also steal a moving truck, drive just out of town and fill 10 barrels (Stolen from a farm equipment store) with gasoline. We then drive back into town taking 8 of these barrels down the stairs at the church.

Now onto setting the trap. The rest of the group ditches the party in secret and helps us set up. With the organ room we used a quarter of the arsenal (grenades, black powder, ammunition. This town was clearly ready for anything) and 2 barrels of gasoline we set a trip that would go off when the door opened. We used the other 6 barrels of gas, and the rest of the arsenal we set a trap to collapse the escape tunnel and wired this charge out the back and a few feet into the forest, where on of the party members laid in wait.

THINGS I HAVE FORGOTTEN TO MENTION
1) There were crystals in the room housing the organs, we removed those.
2) One players had gone back to town earlier, suspecting werewolves and had 10 silver bullets made for 2 springfield rifles (5 each).

Cont.

>>12777587

After this we leave and wait for the mass to return to the church. We hide outside the windows looking in. There is a long speech about right to land, and new abilities. Then most of the congregation is lead downstairs, leaving the children to be guarded by two adults who stand in the shadows. About ten minutes after the last of the congregation descends downwards, the Doctor and I burst in and each put a single round into the adults' heads, and they both drop. The children scream, we threaten. We then rush the remaining two barrels of gas in, open the preachers room and wait to hear an explosion.

Organ room explosion goes off, we pour gasoline down the stairs, while the party member in the forest sets off the other explosive device collapsing the back tunnel. We dump all flammable material down the stairs and light it up, close the hatch and wait.

We are told that the priest goes to get the crystals to teleport out. We tell the Keeper (Who had been outside while we planned because he's a cool guy) that we took them. "Fuck." We killed everyone.

TL;DR - My party, under my lead and planning, genocides a town of 300 werewolves.

Party's almost dead. My sorcerer was running out of spells. I got off a lucky scorching ray on the white dragon, saving the day and inspiring my character (who revered dragons) to become a dragon slayer in hopes of absorbing their powers or something. He eventually became a half-dragon, so I guess it worked.

Shadowrun 4th (it was all our GM had, okay?): Decided to play as a Hacker, 'cause sometimes I likes me a challenge. The party ends up in a shootout at a dockyard. I notice that all the bad guys are standing conveniently close to a magnetic crane, so I hack my way in and use it to grab the nearest cargo container and drop it on them. The best part was the GM's description of the result: "Under the loud clang of metal hitting concrete, you can just make out a faint, yet disturbingly satisfying crunch."

i was playin 4.0 (forgive me, i was young and foolish, now i do 3.5) and my party wanted to kill this rascist old lady they met as soon as they entered the town. this lady was rascist against any non-human, so they get the party dragon born to start singing folk songs outside her house. she comes out with a broom and SNAP. cut in half.
what happened, you ask? well my party had set up a massive bear trap they legitamitly took from somewhere else. this was then proceeded by two of my players "joke rolling" some high five checks. (they like to do this for some reason) double ones. as the DM i can't just turn a blind eye to that. so they both trip and fall and the guards here and come running. it was hilarous.

I played Larry, half-elf investigator of the City Guard. Together with his companions he had fought through catacombs to reach an old abandoned church in the country-side. They had retrieved what they came for, so it was only a matter of traveling back to town.

Larry was badly hurt, bruised all over, his leg busted up and his hand broken. He could barely walk and had an even harder time wielding his broadsword. On their way out of the church, they heard a scraping sound from a closet they passed by.

Suddenly: undead monster! Three of Larry's fellows fled head over heels out of the church. It was only him, the dwarf alchemist and this terrifying fiend. Looking over at the dwarf, he can see that he is just standing there completely frozen in horror.

Larry can hardly walk, and even if he could, everything that's happened this day has pissed him off too much to bother. As the undead charges him, screaming at the top of its lungs, Larry simply steps to the side and swings his blade, decapitating the beast as it almost flies straight ahead into the church pews.

Thread deserves a bump in lieu of a good story of my own.

Well, there was the one time I killed Hastur.

The one kill that everyone currently talks about was the first game of Shadowrun 4th we played as a group, in which the GM was the only person at the time who knew almost any of the rules.

One of our team members was followed home from a run by an assassin and pinned down from across the road by sniper fire. I happened to be nearby with one of the other guys grocery shopping. We brought the van over, and saw the 3rd floor window where the bad guy was clearly sniping from. That's when I said the words:

"I need you to put this van, through that window."

It was only after we were airborne that the GM, with his trollface of legend, decided to explain the crash rules to us.

We demanded a chance to roll out of our horrible fate, as this was a dick move. He allowed it.

Neither of us had a driving skill. So I, having the highest defaulting dice pool (4, after spending a point of edge) took the wheel from the passenger seat, and rolled.

27 hits later, the assassin was paste, and we drove through the third, second, and first floors of three apartment buildings before making it back to the street unharmed. The car was totaled.

I got out, and proceeded to bitch about the scratched paint.

My passenger lit up a Leas cigarette because 'my sanity will not survive this memory'.

Good game, all things considered.

Then there was the killdozer incident.

DnD 3.5, playing a neutral evil priest of Odin using a homebrewn truenamer, level 5. There are maybe 25 people left alive in town after a zombie outbreak. 900 zombies outside the manor. An in game day passes, two PCs died, none of the NPCs due to ranks in Perform: Oratory and a baptism by battle, and leadership as an actual bonus feat granted by the GM after a badass speech. The Alfodr smiled upon us this Wednesday. It's down to 23 guys, two of whom suddenly sprout backstories and character level and 50 zombies, plus the head necromancers dancing around their ritual pyre. Battle continues, and eventually my 6 str viking priest is facing down this strong ass necromancer in a burning lighthouse in the basement floor. Golden spear in one hand, he drops the torch from his other. And he speaks, not in the true tongue but in normal old common.
"You fear death, so you hide in her shadow, hoping she takes no notice of you." He reaches into his robes and pulls out five vials of alchemists fire in the cramped wooden basement. "With nothing but the embrace of Wodan awaiting me, I hold no such fears."

From the wreckage the necromancer crawls. 20 citizens of this now dead city meet him on the surface with a noose. They dig up my guy at -8 HP. It held no synergy with his class but I had endurance and diehard. They take two of the lesser necromancers prisoner and eventually cast baleful polymorph on them into ravens which my priest then bronzed and wore upon the shoulders of his chain shirt.

6 str, +2BAB, 11 HP, no fucks left to give.

>>12778285
>killdozer incident

EXPLAIN NOW.

I was playing a changling in a 3.5 game set in Eberron. We were on an airship that I had already been set ahead to infiltrate; being what I was I had already, with great ease, replaced one of the crew manning the observation deck. After a bit of politicking, I had found out that the Captain, driven mad by visions caused by some McGuffin or another, was determined to crash his ship into Breland's Capital. Now since we were being paid by an alliance to which Breland belonged, I was disinclined to allow this happen. As my party was employed in the engine room, and I had little way or time to contact them I enacted a plan immediately.

I took over the observation deck by posing as the captain and ordered everyone out. This deck so happened to be directly above the control room to the airship. After everyone was gone, I barred the door as not to be interrupted and then placed alchemist fire vials on timed fuses at in a squared pattern on the floor, where I supposed the door to the control room would be. I then attached a rope to one of the decks support columns and rappelled, military style into the control room. As soon as I mad contact with the window, the charges placed above went off at the opposite side of the room and everyone dove (or was knocked down/unconscious) to the floor except me. This gave me a surprise round with a lot of available coup de graces, not to add that many people were unarmed.

I killed them all, mainly with crossbow bolts, others were just left to die via the ever spreading fires. Of course the explosion and the crashing windows had drawn the attention of everyone on board, so my team had made their way to the deck by this time and we fought our way through the rest of the crew and abandoned ship.

I never checked to see if we had killed the Captain, but honestly I could care less; we had gotten paid.


tl;dr: COD has had a profound effect on how I play rogue.

Level 2, D&D 3.5.

Our merry band goes into a desert, searching for slavers (and the salves). We settle in an oasis for the night, and in the middle of it 50 people ask us for hospitality for the night, as we had a big-ass tent. After some roleplay, we get they are the bigger force of the slavers, out to find them some slaves. So we give them hospitality and in the middle of the night, we collapse the tent on them and set it on fire with a dozen alchemist fires. Only a handful survived that we finished by hand.

>>12778910

There was a Large scale (40-50 players at its peak) zombie apocalypse tabletop game. Really realistic, gritty rules. I think it may have been All Flesh, but I honestly can't remember.

Anyway, the idea was that we were playing ourselves if the zombie outbreak hit. I was invited to the game by a friend of a friend who did not know of my reputation.

Anyway, I was inserted as walking out of a bar with a girl who had just joined the game nursing a very mild hangover and playing a quick game of 'last night... did we....?'

Anyway, we noticed that the city was awfully quiet for a Tuesday afternoon. We then noticed a zombie. Singular.

I puller out my .357 mag and capped it, and we realized where there was one zombie, there would be more.

Across the street was an abandoned construction yard. Among other things there was an arc welder, a lot of heavy scrap metal, and a D-9 CAT Bulldozer.

For those of you who don't know much about heavy equipment, this is a Dozer so large that you need a ladder to get in. In the Gulf War, modified versions of these bastards drove through buildings and mine fields to make way for tanks, as our military's tanks are not as manly as this dozer.

It's got enough power that it's bland can move several TONS of dirt in one go.

And thanks to working for my father, I knew these things inside-out, as well as the ability to operate an arc-welder.

The GM had inadvertently given me an invincible city-crusher to work with. Combine that with the fact that several of my friends are zombie movie buffs.... well, I think you can guess what happened to his game.

I had an awesome 'big damn hero' moment when I broke the siege about a mall that most of the others were camped in by driving what looked like an ork-ified CAT with 'KILLDOZER' spray-painted on the blade.

Since then, everyone i know has added 'find and stick with Mike' to their Zombie plan.

>>12779070
Mike, where do you live, so that I may viably add "find and stick with Mike" to my zombie survival plan.

>>12779070

Blade, not bland. What the hell, I ALWAYS proofread.

>>12779102

Currently Alaska, but I plan to leave sooner or later.

I WANT to move to Seattle, but I don't know anybody there and don't have a job lined up.... And since I'm between jobs I can't afford to drive the AL-CAN either.

>>12776735

Fucking amazing.

Meh, I've got some other stories, but I'm having a hard time thinking of some that fit the OP's 'kill' criteria.

Unless killing an entire premise, setting, and campaign counts. Got a couple of those.

>>12779070
>>12778910

>Killdozer

>Heemeyer built a death machine, a Komatsu D335A bulldozer outfitted with armor plating over the cabin and engine.

>The armor in some places was over a foot thick and had concrete between sheets of steel, making it pretty much unstoppable. The tank was also outfitted with onboard cameras and monitors in the cabin so Heemeyer could see where he was going. The inside was made nearly airtight to resist a potential gas attack and had air conditioning, food, water and life support. Once he got in Heemeyer had no plans to actually leave the bulldozer.

>Outside, the bulldozer had .50 caliber semi-automatic rifle mounted on the back, and three other semi-automatics mounted elsewhere. Basically, this was a machine designed to make everyone in his town of 500 take one massive, synchronized fear shit the moment it rolled out of his workshop.

>>12779214

Do tell.

Also, how the hell did you manage to kill Hastur?

>>12779288

>>12779288

>this was a machine designed to make everyone in his town of 500 take one massive, synchronized fear shit

Oh Cracked, you do have a way with words...

>>12779298

Most obvious example would Be HaremHammer 40k, where I accidentally turned Grimdark into something more resembling a slice of life harem Anime.

As for Hastur, that would be Old Man Henderson, pic is part one.

Tech Priest in DH, not really an actual kill an sich, but I did cause the death of dozens of Genestealers.
We were investigating a bulk-freighter after discovering a 'Stealer cult on a sleepy Agri World. The ship was the last to leave the planet before the quarantine and the purge we called in.
Communications with the freighter stopped so our Inquisitor suspected that the vessel had some stow-aways. Cue us being sent to investigate.

The ship was basically a bridge with living quarters and a small hangar attached to a bunch of cargo holds and some engines strapped to the back. The crew was, of course, missing so we set up base camp on the old bridge and went investigating. As the signs of trouble became ever more clear, I rigged the structure connecting the crew part to the holds with improvised explosives. Stuff like melta canisters found in space-emergency kits, plasma fuel canisters we found in the hangar and home-made explosives (yay for Scholastic Lore: Chymistry). I also booby trapped the service and air ducts but left the main passage clear.

Once we stirred up more trouble than we could handle (a dozen purestrains) we ran back to the bridge. The 'Stealers, of course, chased us. The ones trying to out smart us by using the ducts were slowed by the booby traps and once we reached the safety of our little camp, I blew the charges and seperated us from the cargo holds.

This didn't kill the majority of the Xenos of course, it just stranded them in the drifting holds. But we remedied this by flying (or, to be precise, programming the pilot-servitor to do so) a cargo lifter from the hangar into the plasma engines, which went critical and vaporised much of the vessel. The rest eventually drifted into the local star and we escaped in a shuttle with every bit of food and water we could find.

As I said, not a real kill, but it did result in the death of dozens of purestrain Genestealers!

>>12779334

And part two.

>>12779334

Oh right, I remember the Henderson story. Tell me more about this "HaremHammer".

>>12779358

Alright. I'm just gonna repost the story from when an anon asked me the question before, as I don't think it got archived.

>Like I said, I'm not totally clear on what happened.

I was playing a standard guardsman build, a younger guy who had seen far more than his fair share of action even considering the guard. This was why he was brought in as an acolyte: his insane luck when it came to not dieing could only mean he was blessed by a god. They wanted to make sure it was OURS.

The game in general was a bit crazy, but I'm gonna skip past surfing a bane blade into a carnifex to the relevant bits.

The psyker of the group botched perils of the warp HARD and ended up opening a portal to what was basically Slannesh's throne room. She was sucked in and I jumped in after her because dammit, you don't leave a (wo)man behind.

There was a small group of Spess Mahrines nearby (A space wolf, 2 ultras, and a bloodraven if I'm remembering correctly) who immediately set up a perimeter around the portal.

I walked forward, and was about to grab the girl when Slannesh popped up right in front of me and tried to mind-rape me into servitude.

>>12779383

So then Henderson (my char's name.... I just realized how whenever I name someone 'Henderson' shit gets real....) looked Slannesh in the eye (which, only in hindsight do I know that this is pretty much THE WORST THING I COULD HAVE DONE).

The GM started laughing. "Finally, I get to kill one of your fucking characters! Good god, I don't think you've even taken DAMAGE yet!"

"Don't I get a will save or something?"

"I... Yeah, but dude. it's a GOD. You're going to have to be insanely luck-"

Absolute.

Fucking.

SILENCE.

>>12779109
>What the hell, I ALWAYS proofread.

>It's got enough power that it's bland can move several TONS of dirt in one go.
>enough power that it is [blade] can move
>that it is [blade]

Proofread harder bro. And come up with more stories. Good stuff.

>>12779390

It's taking me a long time to type this, but after spending/burning a few fate points, I not only stop her/his/it's mind control, but actually mange to scare Slannesh a bit from sheer force of personality.

I walk back out, with the girl.

Even the mighty spess mahrines can't fucking believe what just happened.

As luck would have it, on our next mission out, the psyker and I got separated from the rest of the group, and made it look like we were killed in a cave in. We slipped off world on a Rouge Trader's ship before the Inquisitor was even aware we 'died'.

The group collectively decided to switch to Rouge Trader because that was AWESOME, and maybe come back to the DH game in progress later.

After that things started to spiral a bit.

You see, our Inquisitor had decided that the only way I could have gotten out alive was by forging some dark pact, and chose not to shoot me only because everyone was more or less screaming Hallelujah at the apparent miracle.

So she instead sent us on a suicide mission to 'redeem ourselves'. I know this because she flat out called me on it in private. She would also have none of the obvious lie that Elias Henderson made a dark god quietly piss themselves.

Unfortunately, the rouge trader happened to be an old friend of madame Inquisitor, and would no doubt put two and two together.

So I caused a minor Geller (not sure that's the correct spelling) field failure, got him eaten by lesser demons, and got the position of Captain by rallying the crew and driving them off. I then framed the tech-priest (who I found out later actually WAS evil) saying the field failure was clearly sabotage and that he was in the best place to do it.

We spaced him.

I grew a beard, got a fake eye-patch, and started dressing in attire more fitting to my new position.

Then the inquisitor needed a ride, and called ME.

>>12779406
Your DM sucks.

>>12779397

Motherfucker, I didn't even catch that because it was next to a far more obvious error.

I humbly apologize for fucking up my grammar, I'm slightly OCD and rather.... obsessive about these things.

>>12779406

I explained that the old captain was killed by a traitor in the ranks, and that I had inherited the position after his untimely demise. She used the ship to move around a bit, and through our adventures, she never figured out who I was. And it turns out that she needed an outlet for certain kinds of stress.

The psyker BTW was more or less emotionally neutered by the inquisition long before I met her, and despite the obvious attraction saw me more as a brother, and I was afraid of getting closer due to a close encounter with the god of evil sex demons.

By this point, we had also acquired a fugitive Tau noble with power armor (Female because of a coin toss) and an eldar far-seer (female because her player was).

Shortly afterward, we took a step back and wondered how the hell we got from point a to point b, as this had taken place over about a year from the Slannesh incident.

We don't really play Warhammer anymore. Between this and Dave, we broke the setting.

>>12779416

I've had many GMs.

Mostly because I keep breaking them. Even when I don't de-rail the game, I tend to turn the train ride into a roller-coaster.

>Motherfucker, I didn't even catch that because it was next to a far more obvious error.

>I humbly apologize for fucking up my grammar, I'm slightly OCD and rather.... obsessive about these things.

Obsessive? It seems Henderson has a weakness. And Anonymous can exploit it.

>We slipped off world on a Rouge Trader's ship before the Inquisitor was even aware we 'died'.

>>12779562

I haven't seen that pic in forever.

That is a VERY punchable Derp face.

Dex fighter in Pathfinder with a shitton of kukri vs. Gigantic red dragon and 12 others in a massive battle royal.

Climb up on the dragon's back, stab 2 kukri in between shoulder blades and wings next to the spine. Not in controle of fire breath, teeth or claws but I managed to paralize the dragon and stomp on 5 of the other 12 players in the first 4 rounds while fireball upon fireball is blocked by the dragon's flailing wings and tail.

Once the Dragon fell the other 5 players fought amongst themselves, shifting from invisible to visible and fireballs everywhere. I cut a large part of the wing off of the red dragon and use it as a tower sheild to slowly work my way into the cround of wizards unharmed by most of their attacks.

The last wizard basically took away most of my armor and all of my kukri. Lightning bolt blows off my right hand and im left with a stump with my radius and ulna protruding. crit with my unarmed strike, my two bones skewer the wiz's eyes, my other attack crushed his trachea and knocks him to the ground stunned for 3 rounds. I cut out his tounge and lop off both of his hands, then I gave him a cure serious wounds potion. and left him.

Best battle royal ever.

turns out, later in the game the DM let the cripple become a lich.
Pic related: The lich and his army of undead who still have it out for me...

>>12779666
And that's why you NEVER leave an enemy wizard alive.
Also, nice triples.

>>12779604
You like hanging out with rouge traders, do you?

You like hanging out with douchebags?


Also, pic is posted fairly frequently.

I just realized after years of roleplaying I can't recall one single epic anything that my characters have done. Some cool things from time to time but nothing epic. Guess I'm nothing more than a supporting character...
>feelsbadman.jpg

My most epic kill? My own. Death by bad dice-rolling in Car Wars.

Arena fight with huge ramps over a flaming pit-of-death that you could jump for bonus points at a convention. Burning up the ramp for points, meeting my main rival head-on.

It was a fencing match. Strike, strike, dodge, pass, strike. Like the best samurai duels I was already dead.

My armor pierced, there was a slim chance of his fusillade starting a fire. It did. There was an overwhelming chance my fire extinguishers would take care of it. They didn't. There was a minute chance the explosive rocket ammunition I was carrying would explode. They did.

Just as I was vaulting into the air directly over the Firey Pit-Of-Death. The clip is still played on Wide World of Autoduels.

D&D 3.5, Level 9 at the time.

My signature character, an Elf Monk, was with two (out of four) other members of the party - a Bard and and a Duskblade, both human and female - after visiting the city where his brother is the mayor... not so much a city as it is a monastery surrounded by a market district for travelers. The morning we left, we were ambushed by an assassin; your standard fare - clad in head-to-toe black, poisoned weapons, etc, etc... anyways, after what can only be called 'the worst surprise combat ever', the two women ended up paralyzed due to ability score damage (the bard in particular had -13 STR after the ordeal) and I fought the assassin to a standstill. End of our problems? Far from it.
So there I am - the only one NOT helpless - with less than half my HP and a STR score of 5 (down from 16) when a pride of about six lions comes by. We're dead if I don't do something... so what do I do? Charge the closest lion that approaches. A few rounds into combat, and... I roll a critical. Confirmation roll: another natural 20. The way my DM described it is like this:

"In a moment of furious, adrenaline- and drug-fueled rage at being bitten by the first lion, [my character] grabs it by the mane and hind leg and proceeds to rip it in half, splattering lion's blood and intestines over the general area."

After that, most of the lions just kept their distance except for the odd one that tried to drag the other party members away, but they were swiftly dealt with... and my character was still hated. Why? Because I didn't prevent the ordeal from happening, like they thought I could stop it at all before it began.

The next session, my DM said: "Let that be a lesson to you. [...] If you go and save teammates from assassins, you will get nothing but scorn in return."

>>12776514
D&D 4th Edition: Eberron,
So our group was tasked with following a man who we needed to acquire something from. We get on the train with him. The Changeling monk in our party decided to try and get close to him by looking like an attractive woman but only ended up arguing and being sent to to high class just to separate them. All of a sudden the train is attacked by hypogryphs and goblinoids/bugbears in vehicles. The monk got on the roof of the train and jumped onto one of the vehicles riding along the side, she then proceeded to knock a dozen of them off of the vehicle before jumping BACK onto the train.

>>12779717

Maybe it is, but I haven't seen it since I started coming here.... 3 years ago? 4? It was before sup /tg/, I know that much.

I've got one more kill related story I can think of right now.

Playing D&D 3.5, decided to play a Monk, because fuck it.

DM had been 'keeping score' of how many TPKs he had gotten. That's right, he was keeping track of how many stupid fucking ways he could kill us.

We start our tenth reboot sitting in a tavern, 'somewhere in the wild southlands'. Someone yells about incoming bandits. Everyone but me and the True Neutral Elf Druid ran to go see what the problem was.

As such, the ran headlong into the trap waiting outside and died screaming. The GMPC stands up from across the room and DEMANDS to know why we didn't go to help our host.

I pointed out that he didn't either, and the blood trickling in from under the door suggests that it's a bad idea.

At this point, the bandits walked in and acted surprised that not everyone was trying to play the hero. I told them to get the fuck out. The leader threw a knife at me. Druid tangled his feet, and then I threw a chair at him.

Crit, high damage, failed the high damage fort save, DEATH.

I then rolled intimidate and told the other bandits to fuck off. With a total roll of 28, they did.

>>12780306

The GMPC started yelling at me for having no honor.

I reacted by challenging him to a duel. He proudly declared his name and weapon. (tradition for dueling in setting, if the challenged man accepts they state their name and the weapon they use. Then the challenger does the same, having to pick something equal or lesser for the sake of honor. Replying to 'knife' with 'bastilla' was considered bad form)

I returned 'Donovan Adrakar (random name gens are fun) Oak bar-stool' and chucked it at his face.

19
20
18

Instant death.

Myself and the druid then went for a week long stroll in the woods to contemplate nature.

He couldn't think of a good reason for us to leave and we wanted to keep playing those guys. Game fell apart after two sessions of 'those are some lovely trees' interjected into the gruesome deaths of everyone else at the table.

>Read this thread

>Rouge Trader
>Rouge
>ROUGE

>>12780362
what you dont like your traders in color? I prefer a nice light urple myself.

>>12780306
>>12780319
God damn, that is fucking awesome.

By now i've gotten to the point that, whenever i see [insert my character's name here], I automatically replace that with [Henderson].

>>12780362
>MFW that's lipstick, you moron.

I don't know about most epic or luckiest, but my favorite is when my character and one of his hirelings sneaked into the the enemy leader's bedroom, killed him, and cut his head off.

We threw it over the wall of their stronghold the next day.

Later in that same campaign my character killed and cut the head off a spellcaster diplomat meeting with our enemies to forge an alliance while he was in his room. I cut his face off, threw his skull down the stairs, and nailed his face to the wall at the top of them.

This was years upon years ago when Dark Sun had JUST gotten released. Our DM was trying to 'replay' the death of Kalak from the Prism Pentad series. He basically tries to railroad us to run, but Sadira of Tyr loses the Heartwood Spear on a natural 1. I grab the spear (lvl 3 half-elf Psionicist) and look at the DM. He tells me I have to run or I'm going to get caught, I have like no time, etc. I tell him I'm going to chuck it at Kalak's head. He gives me THE LOOK and says you can only hit on a 20, and if you fail you're getting captured. I'm like...its on!

Natural 20.

So our game began with us REPLACING the heroes of the Pentad, then essentially telling them to screw off after one-shotting Kalak in his own ziggurat. We move to Urik and start secretly logging for Lalali-Puy.

I'm playing a human dragoon-style spear-wielding warblade. Normally, this build is reliant on jumping to get flying charge attacks and otherwise being fairly cheesy. At any rate, we're level 5 and investigating an old ruined keep after we had word of a band of raiders holing up in the area. We didn't find any raiders in the keep-- instead, in one of the ruined bailey structures, we find a manticore, in a room too confined for me to do much in the way of jumping.

Our wizard gets crucified to a wall with its tail spikes, then the manticore flings a wave of spikes at me. I use Wall of Blades to 'parry'-- and get a natural 20. The GM rules that I managed to deflect its tail spikes back at it. With my wristguards. Then, immediately once that passes, it's my turn, and I get a crit. With a greatspear. While in Punishing Stance.

I effectively drove my spear through the still-surprised manticore's body, through its mouth and out its rear. Manticore-kabob. It took me another 2 rounds to extract my spear-- it was winged-- from the corpse.

Spears own.

I am GMing a game for Deathwatch last Friday night and the Kill Team had just landed on a hive planet with a possible genestealer cult. No big deal for a bunch of Tier 6 Muhreens.

To present the scene, there was one Black Templar player and two psykers in the group. The rest were a mix between tacticool muhreens and devastators.

So they dive into this hive and notice the cult has progressed along pretty far so they begin the usual PURGE, BURN, KILL, business. A LOT of hormagaunts and Tyranid Warriors die.

They get down to the lower level and, uses their mesh cloaks, sneak down to see the lower level completely infested (Hive Tyrant and all). What to do?

The Black Templar rushes forward after their tacticool sniper (using a Stalker Bolt Gun) takes out some warriors and creates a GIANT distraction as the team tries to draw out the Tyrant. But this isn't good enough. One of the Psykers fires his bolt pistol and rolls an 01 to hit. Rolls to place the wound....it's a headshot.

D10 on the critical table for head wounds says...10...head explodes in a tremendous spew of blood and gore. The Black Templar voxes over, "Pretty good...for a Psyker..."

Eh, one time I was in an IRC chatroom DnD thing, and we were in a battle with "Druids". By druids I mean, an Elf Warrior for every Player-Character, and 2 elf grunts for every elf warrior. And then a bunch of retards firing arrows in the background(Not at us but at a town).

Now I personally have a rule against doing anything flashy or crazy because it can take away from the grittyness of a battle if I'm trying to pull some shit that looks like a Limit Break or something, but the waiting time between turns was pretty fucking boring, I'm talking like a 20 minute wait each time, and I fucking missed on my first turn.

So anyway, its my second turn and I am surrounded by two of these grunts and the Elf Warrior thing, I'm a Psychic Warrior and I've got my DR 2/magic going on, and my psychic shield thing(Cast before the battle because the DM said we saw shit coming). Basically tanking said Warrior no problem, and I am stoked to just do something crazy. I put a lot of points into jumping for whatever reason, probably because I think of Psychic Warriors as some sort of Jedi with interesting powers aside from clairvoyance. So I jump onto the elf's behind me and I leap high into the fucking air, and then I start to spin with my great axe(2-handed) and split the enemy in half.(Yes I was playing a lot of Fire emblem at the time).

So, the DM stops me, and has me roll for both jumps, and then the spin, and then actual attack. I roll a 20, a 19, a 20, a 20 and a 12(Which didn't confirm with a good +7 to hit behind it.

The DM waits a long moment, says "Normal Damage, Next".

I felt so fucking gipped.

Fantastic thread deserves a bump, maybe an archive.

>>12779406
I then framed the tech-priest (who I found out later actually WAS evil)

MUAHAHAHAHHA

Rogue Trader.

Our captain has been sent on a mission to investigate a rogue ship that's been lost contact with. The team goes in first to just investigate, and after some hour or so we realise there's some biological shit on the ship that grows at an exponantial rate when exposed to sunlight, and conveniantly, a sun was nearby the ship.

We barely make it out of there, but decide to regroup and go back in to kill whateverthefuck is controlling this, so this time, the team, me as an Explorator, an Arch-Militant, and a Eschal, while the RT stays on the ship.

We find a large chamber containing, basically, the core of the infestation. From within a huddle of flesh (think the ending of Akira), a scientist on a long tentacle rises up, as well as two giant, thick tentacles also rise, as weapons. While the party tries to shoot at various parts of the body of the guy and at the tentacles, while at the same time trying to remain standing from sweeping strikes, I just align my bolter with the guy's head, fire, and his head explodes. Only bullet I fired in the entire fight.

> THE Fewyka
Surely, the DM's thoughts at the moment.

Make this fast.
Starting a level 5 in a 3.5 campaign. Made a 'zerker/fighter with a rancuer (forgot the spelling, a polearm), joining in on a raid to take back a fortress overrun with orcs.
We murder like beasts, than proceed into the adjacent mine. An anvalancher totally mothballs the group, save me, who made the reflex save to avoid being buried alive. Standing on the pile of dirt, I am left with the belief that my newfound friends are dead, slain by this creature, and I vow to avenge them or die trying.
It comes into threat range, I roll attack of op. Crit, confirmed, x3 damage, and I gib it in one blow for 80 damage. I roar my cry of vengeance gained, turn to walk away, and fall into the hole my companions dug. Turns out, they were simply sealed within the mine, not buried alive. Yay, friends live, and I have a new tale of heroism.
cont.

My one good story is from a sci-fi game I played a while back using GURPS. We were playing a team of hardass old mercs-- I was a former Marine, we had a few ex-Navy and ex-Space Special Forces soldiers. I was the tactical marksman of the squad and all-around badass, while the others were more about the tech, piloting, medical, and so on. We were investigating a desolate rocky planet with a minimal colony that had mysteriously vanished of inhabitants, which we discovered was caused by an outbreak of an engineered disease, an airborne bioweapon that devoured living matter. While we were checking things out, I got the news that the Imperial Navy had a gunship just warping into orbit around the planet, and was moving to sterilize the site. We couldn't get into contact with them--either they were mercenaries impersonating the Navy or there was some kind communications interference happening.

I was in a shuttle we had going from the surface to our ship on the other side of the planet, but we still had people on the surface poking around the colony labs. So what did I do when I saw the Navy vessel had fired nukes at the colony site?

I put on my zero-suit, grabbed my anti-materiel rifle, hooked myself to the exterior of the shuttle and sniped the missiles out of the air to give our people on the ground time to evacuate.

No-one died on either side, but who else can say they played as Space Clint Eastwood sniping nukes out of the sky while strapped to the back of a shuttle traveling into orbit?

I don't really have an epic kill. I do have a hilariously anticlimactic kill.

Deadlands: Lost Colony. I was playing a Transmuter mechanic and the other members of the ship were the captain who was a cyborg, and the navigator who was a void shaman.

We boarded a damaged military ship. I thought that there was the possibility that some parts would have their life support knocked out so I put on a space suit with magnetic boots.

As soon as we got off our ship the GM tells us that 3 werewolves come to greet us.

So he's expecting a big fight. Then we all realized something at once. A void shaman can make themselves immune to the dangers of open space. Cyborgs don't need to breathe and never have ill effects from cold. And I was in a space suit.

So we spaced them.

>>12781080
>conclusion
So we get into the mine, meet a mobile mouth that speaks for the BBEG, we are doomed, he will pick our bones and make them a part of his unholy army, yadda yadda.
Then what comes out, as our cleric comes to realize, is a Gloom Golem.
If you don't know, Gloom Golems are contructs made of sands from the plane of negative energy, have DR10 and do con damage on every successful hit. Our party consisted of a cloistered cleric with 3 spells left, a wizard, a monk, a spike chain fighter, and myself.
We were fucked. Only I could actually hurt this thing, on a very good roll. So we get to work. We surround it, the cleric using a spell to force it to trip, the wizard casting grease, and the chain fighter and monk doing everything they can to keep it on the ground, while I pound the fuck out of it.
All of a sudden, the DM calls for a fort save. I roll, make it, and a enemy orcish cleric pops up. Our cleric tells me he tried to use death touch on me, that he was a cleric of Wee Jas. I pivot, and shank him. Roll crit, confirmed, and I take his head clean off in a single strike.
CLEAVE, I turn and strike the golem and.
SMITE, I connect with such force, it shatters into sand.
I take a moment to crow my single-handed victory over all who oppose us, while the party loots everything. I alone notice the fighter attempting to walk away with a treasure chest. I confront him, and he attacks me, successfully tripping me. I get up, and charge him, striking him..... crit..... shit..... confirmed..... ouch. The fighter is dead. I drag him and the chest back to the group, and then they attack me outright, believing I had murdered the fighter in cold blood. The monk knocks me out (I had like 5hp), then they tie me up and leave me for dead in the mines. After 4 days, I managed to free myself and escape.
My most successful character to date, my first pc kill, and he lasted a single session. Duke, I am proud.

I was using, of all things, the Palladium Macross II RPG system with the unsd.macrossroleplay.org stats for proper Macross canon mecha and OCCs.

We were pirate huntin' in a mixed unit of VF-17D Nightmares. I was the lucky dude who got to haul the huge-ass laser attachment into action. Basically we got in a really tight spot really fast in the middle of this gigantic field of wreckage. One of my wingmates got robusted all to hell by this one asshat in a stolen Variable Glaug, and he was well on his way towards wrecking all of our shit too.

Well, I got pissed. So I decided to use some precious seconds to latch on my heavy laser module. Come around the corner, lose init that round, he fires off what I think were his last few short-range missiles. I get hit, but I get a lucky break and survive due to a mercifully poor damage roll. So I get to take my shot.

Natural 20. Critical strike, of course. He of course goes to dodge.

Natural 1. He's toast. And before anyone calls bullshit, no, I didn't roll maximum damage, either--in fact there was only one 6. But it was still enough to wipe his ass. That wasn't the epic part, though.

The epic part is that the GM ruled that because his dodge was so bad, he'd ended up right in front of the still-volatile power core of one of the starships in the wreckage field. The shot passed through his Glaug, went beyond to hit the core, blew THAT up, and the resulting blast destroyed one of the pirate escorts hiding behind it, and crippled the other.

Felt good, man.

Lately? When I was running a Post Apocalyptic game, one of the characters managed to use psychic powers to push a couch. Pretty much through a guy.

There wasn't much left below the ribcage and the guy was embedded into the wall along with the couch.

Oh yeah, then one of the other PC's doused a corpse in gas, lit it on fire, and hurled it successfully down a staircase to fend off huge group of gangers, allowing them to escape.

Then the fucking sniper took out the driver of the chasing car with a single perfect shot.

Needless to say, all of my attempts to kill them went up in flames with hilarious actions, incredible rolls, and insane plans.

>mfw "I'm going to push the whole couch at the guy while he's hiding behind it"

D&D 4e. I'm playing a forced movement-based invoker and the party is more or less sieging a castle from inside the walls. I hadn't quite joined the fight, opting to guard our way out because I think for sure we'll need to retreat at some point. So arrows start raining on my allies from the wall and I'm the closest to the stairs, so I run up there to engage the archers by my own squishy self. They're all standing right on the edge, so I use an at-will to push the closest one off. That alerts the other ones, who all back up into some diagonal formation. No problem, I just walk up and use a close blast that pushes them all up to 4 squares. 4 archers thrown off the wall in 12 seconds. Naturally, my party broke into the manliest rendition of "It's Raining Men" you've ever heard.

Also worth mention is our barbarian who killed at least 20 of the 40 men we'd slain that day, mainly due to every minion giving him more temporary hp than the damage they did when hitting him automatically killed them.

bump

This is a good thread.

I was playing 3.5 as a wizard. We were level 5 and saw the BBG for the first time. He made his big speech then disappeared. I ended up making a spot check to see if I could find him first round of combat with his minions. I roll a natural 20 and see him sneaking away in full armor across the cavern. So I take out a scroll of Deep Slumber and cast it on him. He fails his save and falls asleep. Meanwhile the rest of the party is engaged with all his minions. I sneak over to the BBG and slit his throat while he sleeps killing the final boss in the first encounter with him.

>>12782390
>>12782390
Sleep+coup-de-grace is a wizard mainstay. Well done.

Hunter (OWoD): The game centered around our party trying to keep this old magical book from falling into the hands of a group of vampires. Thing is, anyone who opens the book ends up gaining random magic powers, and the book seems to have a mind of its own and likes to trick people into reading it for the lulz. This happens to my character and he ends up with telekinesis. Anyway, one of our vamp enemies attacks us to try and steal the book. He's no pushover, the party's barely holding him off, a lot of furniture ends up broken. I suddenly figure my newfound power might come in handy, so I use it to snap off the nearest chair leg and shoot the sharp, pointy end at the vamp's chest area. Roll, critical success. Vamp drops, I fall unconscious (hadn't learned my psychic limitations), I wake up to find my guys have chopped off the vamp's head and are dragging the body out to the backyard along with a few cans of gasoline.
So yeah, I basically saved everyone else's asses using only my mind. Felt real good, man.

Someone needs to archive this thread right now.

Shadowrun. I'm playing a Troll Heavy Weapons Specialist who is basically a walking tank. Ridiculous Strength and Body and something of an internet star since one of the other party members videotaped me feeding a Triad goon to a shark and then posted it online. We joke that after the game he becomes best friends with the shark and goes on to host the highly successful entertainment show "Will It Shark?" Think "Will It Blend?" but the blender is alive.

We're hired to recruit (read: kidnap) a hacker wunderkind for our megacorp Johnson. We use the sewers to get under the restaraunt he lives near, up through the sewer access and into his room.

He's currently in the middle of being tied to the bed by his mage girlfriend. Embarrasing, but whatever. We've got a job to do. Except she objects to us stealing her sub, so she lets loose this pet panther the guy apparently has. Given the context, we immediately assume it is some sort of sex-panther, but the GM vigorously denies it. The panther goes for me.

I punch it in the face and then, while it's stunned, grab it by the tail and use it as an improvised club to bludgeon mage-girl to death with.

That goes up on YouTube as well.

bump

>>12782889
As a Johnson, I'd be pissed that you didn't bag her as well so that I'd have more leverage on the kid.

I suppose you did bag her in one sense.

The youtube is a nice touch.

>>12782889
Wow.

That's...

Wow.

Playing 4e for my first time. I was a minotaur fighter in a group of 6. We were lv3 at the time and had just cleared out a basement of a bar of a fire beetles swarm. After the fight my minotaur found something shiny and was playing with it. Next thing I know there is a giant boom. Manage to save all of the checks of the bar falling on my head.

My teammates had tossed 2 barrels of ale down to burn the nest. 2 40 gallon barrels, then our wizard crit with his fireball. This then set off the 2 barrels of lamp oil the DM had given us right before the fight that we left behind the bar.

All of us manage to make it out with only 1 broken leg. We killed everyone in the bar.

Then to top it off my guy charged the wizard and hit him with the flat of my two handed ax yelling "YOU BLEW UP ALL MY ALE!" And what do you know natural 20. wizard was left with -8 hp slung over my shoulder as we ran away from the town as fast as we could.

>>12783006

Oh there was plenty of leverage on him already. The reason the Johnson knew about him was because he'd tried to hack them and done a surprisngly good job of it. Not good enough to cover his tracks, of course.

But that was a fun session. At some point during character generation, I think we all decided to take this cyberpunk grim bullshit and be as wacky, fun and ridiculous as possible.

The party included a cowboy, pirate AND a ninja, a Liberace Troll (me), a stoner mage and a pulp style evil genius. At least three of us had Distinctive Styles, two of them had amnesia and shenanigans were pretty much all the time being had.

At the end of the first session the GM pretty much went "fuck it, you guys win" and toned up the crazy to match.

In a DH game a while back a guardsman killed an unbound daemonhost with a rifle butt.

Game of Deadlands, using the new Savage Worlds ruleset. My law-abiding, generally-trustworthy gunfighter just called out the local leader of the banditry who was, no shitting you, basically just Lemmy from Motörhead.

Get dealt the first two hole cards. Both spades, Jack and an Ace. This is nice for me; at least I'll have something to shoot with, in case I have absolutely shitty luck.

Next up comes the intimidation round. There's a lot of sneering on behalf of Lemmy, and he ends up with a fucking ridiculous Taunt, due to explosions off of a d10. The Marshall rolled it all in plain sight, so we weren't gonna doubt him.

I decided that, with my d12 in shooting, it would be better to just take the final penalty on my shot, and try to shoot the hell outta this guy. Opting to fire quickly, so I'm at a -4.

The Marshall then flips the cards. Ten of Spades. King of Spades.

Queen of Spades.

Fucking draw! We both reveal our hands. The GM literally has nothing, so I'm at something like +10d6 on the damage roll. We both shoot simultaneously, and I manage to hit him with two raises, despite my penalty. That's a blistering fuckton of damage.

Then, we get to hit location. Give it a roll, and . . . BOOM! HEADSHOT!

And that is how my cowboy killed Lemmy in the old west with a 63 damage headshot.

He died the next game, however, due to a poor idea concerning nitroglycerin, shaving soap, and three Walkin' Dead.

>oWoD
>Epic fight against a Nyarlathotep-esque sorceress
>Be social character, i.e. physically weakest, same with magic
>Need 3 successes to throw this lasso around her
>3 dice
>3 successes!
>Lucky rolls galore
>Pull rope with me into a frozen dimension through a random portal she summoned
>Die epically when time stops in said dimension
>Monster dies too
>Time paradox sends me back to my original dimension since the other dimension was stuck at a previous point in time, thus I was dead before I went in there
>Fear the sorceress survived
>Find out rope was oddly enchanted
>DM gets so confused he rules she's forever frozen in time in another dimension
>Fuck yeah

Finally got this fucker archived.

Playing GURPS and we are fighting a Chimera.
The warrior type guy is going at it getting mauled in the process while i'm throwing knives at it. my knives are doing nothing and the warrior is getting fucked up. so i run in with a bucket i had found earlier hit the thing once and killed it, pissing off the warrior.

>>12783879
I later got the bucket enchanted. And when my character died the warrior had a wizard use the enchant that attaches souls to weapons.
I think he was just pissed still.

>>12783531
Imagine if you'd gotten that royal flush in an actual poker game instead of an RPG...

>>12784115
I know. What makes it funnier is that I actually play poker with the group most weeks, and I basically have incredibly shitty luck. I'm good at bluffing, but still, out of fucking nowhere godly luck still makes for a great story.

Dat Bump

3.5 D&D a few years ago. I'm playing a ranger named Eligos, and through a series of events I'd rather not explain, was in a melee fight by himself against a cadre of warrior-prostitutes and the whore-queen of them. On a whim I decided to use my pathetic unarmed attack on the queen.

Long story short, I backhanded her so hard she was knocked out instantaneously and I got the legendary glove of Osnapp, the pimp-king.

Just had mine:
D&D 3.5, me (rogue) and the rest of the party entered a temple, and was immediately attacked by some skeletons and a necromancer. The enemies went down quick, and I killed the last skeleton with quite an overkill. The DM said I struck the skeleton's head with the blunt of my blade, sending it flying, and I asked, jokingly, if I could strike it towards a necromancer down the hall, which was engulfed in a ritual.
"Roll for it."

Natural 20.

So with a critical hit and a good sneak attack roll I killed the cultist, made the session, and quite possibly invented the game of baseball in our setting.