>>12716581

You know

Dark elf pussy - fall

But its your choice

You don't need to say goodbye to anyone. Nothing stops you from paying respects to more than one god at the same time.

>>12716631

I think OP means his PC is dissapointed at Pelor for allowing that to happen, while Eilistraee rewarded his good deed with divine T&A

>>12716631
I'd say you can only be a paladin of one god (or at least gods that are arm-in-arm- Twins, Sisters, the like).

He could worship both, sure, but only one god can bless him directly all the time.

I'd let him choose which god he calls his blessings from at prayer time (and make him pray at both gods' times- mechanically he picks at the beginning of the day) and use rules/flavor accordingly. I don't think there's any actual difference between them, rules-wise, though, so yeah.

Yeah.

>>12716581

Oh god, I wanna scream troll at the top of my lungs... this just smacks of it.

I guess it's the whole 'girl give sex so i should worship her' notion.

She had sex with your pally to say thank you. What else is she going to give you? You're a servant to a different god.

Word of warning OP:

more paladins fall due to dark elf pussy than all other reasons combined.

>>12716686

Girl?

Its a fucking Goddess

>>12716581

Damn man. I wish I had a DM like that. My DM loves that "Do all your effort to be good and find out things still suck" grimdark shit. Makes rather pointless to play a paladin

>>12716694

So? Does a night of thank-you sex have to be anything more than a night of hot thank-you sex, just because it came from a minor goddess?

If she wants him to convert, she's going to do more than bruise his hips and give him an amulet. It'll be a plot point. Signs will happen. He'll get feelings about it. Coincidental happenings. Maybe even dream visitation.

At least, assuming a well-run campaign. Which, this may or may not be, since a goddess came down and had sex with a PC just for saving two girls. Usually there would be appreciation, sure, but not to that degree.

>>12716686
In a setting which has casual lower power deities like D&D, it pretty much makes sense that worship would work via sexual communion with at least some gods (especially because a god is not just one being but a multitude of avatars and aspects).

>>12716692

But I bet most of them don't regret it.

>>12716754

I just don't think things should be so blown out of proportion over it is all.

Sometimes sex is just sex. I mean she IS a Drow, just an ascended Drow. Her mind is gonna work a little differently.

Hell, OP can worship her all he wants. My gut reaction to the thread set off my trolldar was all.

>>12716758

Can't drow girls turn good because of lawful human dick?

>>12716694

With emphasis on the "fucking"

>>12716694
>goddess
>not a girl

Ah yes, the Belldandy fallacy of deific gender determination.

>>12716894

>Drow belldandy

sorry to say this but...

DO WANT

>>12716931

Drow Urd is where it's at.

>>12716686
That must be that "the only thing women have to give is sex" thing you've got going there.

>>12716894
Well played.


Srsly though, @ OP here,
There's that whole silly alignment bit if you want your pally to convert to Elistrae, but I'm not sure you're operating on a system with the usual 3.5 good/evil/law/chaos axis.

If you are, and want to convert, ask your DM about Paladin of Freedom in Unearthed Arcana.

If you're playing 4.0, I find myself wondering why elistrae is still alive, but otherwise don't forsee any such problems.

If you're playing with a system I'm less familier with (WHF, Gurps, and the like) I would only be able to guess at the decision and results being something to consider for RPing's stake, more than mechanics, and that if your pally is truely dissapointed with his current patron's methods, and believes in earnest that he might be both better served (ahem) and better able to do good on behalf of a diety of dancing about, then have at.

Besides, there's that bit about Pelor's references not checking out, and a little bit of background checking later....well....pic related.

>>12716935

So in the /tg/ version of that manga, it is a fa/tg/uy loser instead of a japanese loser and there are elves instead of goddesses?

Oh My Elf!?

OP should say goodbye to his DM, really.

>>12716978

That could be pretty awesome

>>12716978
Yeah. Ew.

Not to self, don't save any LG dominatrices in OP's DM's games. Might get awkward later.

>>12716975

Yes. And Skuld would be a dorf loli who builds steam-powered warmachines.

>>12717033
>dorf loli who builds steam-powered warmachines

You have no idea how hard I just came on everything ever.

Only goddesses of sex should use sex as a "thank you". And even then, they shouldn't intend it as a "thank you". They should come down to say thank you, then get sidetracked by sex, and finally leave after the sex and forget why they came down in the first place.

Don't worry about little things like what gods to worship.

Don't be a Paladin of _________ be a "Paladin".

A true paladin transcends the need for a god to worship or a patron to empower him. He is good not because he must or because his god demands it. He is good because he has chosen to. He is good because he is strong and others are weak thus his heart and soul demands that he protect them from the oppurtunists, the zealots, the heretics, and evils of the world that would take advantage of them. A paladin who believes himself chosen is doomed to fall to arrogance and lack of self confidence, because above all else a paladin has chosen himself.

The gods look kindly upon your actions though you had to kill a brother in arms it is better that his blood be spilled than one drop of an innocents.

Consider all good gods a patron and worthy of your worship, not because you follow their cuase but because theirs runs in line with yours.

>>12717005
>dominatrices

You know, it says a lot about /tg/ that we can be expected to not only know the proper pluralization of that word, but also use it in daily conversation.

>>12716581
Conversion is possible in the future, but for now this was a very nice and personal thank you. At a minimum he needs to speak with a priestess of Eilistraee about things.

>>12717116
I think it's balanced out by the fact that in a another thread, there's a guy using "penii" as the plural of penis.

>>12717116

To be fair, I did manage to misspell "note".

>lashind came

Well good for him.

>>12717087
Alternatively...

You WERE chosen by some deity, some random act of fate, or just so happened to have grown up this way.

Filled with rage at evil, filled with an unstoppable, impossible desire to smash the face in of anybody who speaks a lie, who uses others for personal gain, and a need to destroy corruption wherever you find it, regardless of it's source or intentions.

Just a thought, not all Paladins are like your Paladin or even my Paladin.

>>12717087

This is generally how I prefer to Paladin.

Generally all LG and NG, most CG, and some select LN gods get some love from me.

>>12717087
I do like the idea of paying homage to all the Goodly Gods instead of just one God. One patron God may hold a special place in your heart due to it being where you were, "Trained" in the ways of being a Paladin, but you don't just pay homage to it.

I wonder... wouldn't you be able to pay homage to any gods with "Justice" in their portfolio? I haven't got all the DnD lore stocked up in my head, but isn't there a _________ Neutral God who has Justice in their portfolio?

>>12717247
paladins don't need gods, so they can practice any religion they want that doesn't involve evil acts. People like having them be religious for some reason, tho.

>>12717315
Well, I prefer mine to have a religious tint to them, mostly fluffy stuff so they can have some name to call on when smiting, using a holy symbol to turn undead, swearing an oath of some sort, or simply just because I can.

They drow goddess was just happy you saved her followers. That was all she cared about. Pelor probably would agree with saving the girls but leaves you to your own judgment about how you did it.

You shouldn't switch deities because you were rewarded by another deity for doing something of direct benefit to that deity and not to your own deity. You got a divine "good game" from someone, no reason to give up what you believe in because of it.

>>12717470

Just wait until you get a "good game" from Kord.

Couldn't walk straight for a month.

>>12717593

Imagine if Pelor sensed you considering switching gods because of that and next time you did something good he came down to earth and fucked you to try and convince you to stay loyal.

>>12717593
Kord's idea of a good game is sending a bronze locust swarm to eat your kids.

>>12717635

Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me takes on a whole new meaning.

I'd let Cayden Cailean have me. I'm able to admit that.

Guy is pretty GAR.

>>12717668
"No, Pelor, no!"

Even worse: your actions have caused him to try this with some unsuspecting paladin as a kind of pre-emptive strike.

....

>Drow deity gives Paladin a "Good Job" fuck.
>Kord is going to fuck you.
>Pelor is going to fuck you.

Stay classy /tg/... stay... classy...

>>12716581

Nah. It was a nice reward, and that's about it. It doesn't mean you were cheating on your God. Wear the pendant, give thanks, and go about your task.

You are now imagining Pelor as Willie Pete from Empowered.

>>12717744
Goddamn it, don't ever mention Empowered. Now I'm going to be thinking about DEM LIPS azll day.

>>12717726
Paladins turns blackguard and vows to hunt you down after the situation is explained by Pelor. Pelor would stop him, but he feels too awkward about the whole thing and doesn't want to make anything worse.

>>12717670
yeah the Drunken Hero is awesome

this is why Ravenqueen is the new death god

>>12717744

So, paladins of Pelor skullfuck their enemies to death?

>>12717726
He could send big titty angels out, or aasimar.

>>12717775

That's the thing....

He could give you the best sex of your life and the next morning he won't even remember what he did.

>>12717788

I'm not saying it's standard practice.

I'm just saying it's a viable option.

>>12717775


Cayden likes traps in canon. True story.

Calistria grows a dick sometimes. It counts.

>>12717852
source?

>>12717852
What books are good for pathfinder fluff? Would like to read about the setting, even if I will not use the system.

>>12716581
>So, my paladin banged a drow Goddess for being a good fellow. I wonder if I should say goodbye to Pelor and follow Eilistraee instead.

Yes.

In Faerun, proper aftersex etiquette requires you to adopt the female as your patron diety.

>>12718136
It depresses me that this could be true.

Too many players and DMs look at D&D with monotheistic beliefs.

D&D worlds are polytheistic settings. For followers of other gods to pay respect to friends to their gods, is not uncommon. For normal believers, it is not uncommon, even expected to pay tribute to several gods.

>>12718136
Step 1: Be girl
Step 2: Fuck a male god

I kept on waiting for the "Then I fell" moment. Where is it?

>>12718089
>>12718118

Gods and Magic has some basic info on the gods. Super in-depth articles are put in the adventure path books themselves, like 2 per AP. The Calistria article pointed out that her gender is fluid, if that's what was being talked about upthread. Kind of like a nicer, non-evil Slaanesh, I guess.

If you're looking for basic fluff info on the setting as a whole, the cheapest book is that softcover gazeteer book, the name of which I can't recall. The hardcover Campaign Setting has more in-depth detail, but they're releasing a revised version of it next year, I think.

If you want specific fluff for a specific area, culture, or genre or whatever, they've got a lot of specific products. No clue how the quality hold up across all of them, but what I've read I liked.

Just wish they weren't so hesitant to do a book about Numeria out of fear that people would go "ZOMG NO SCI-FI IN MY FANTASY". Pic related.

>I saved two drow girls for JUSTICE
>Drow goddess gave me all kinds of sex as a reward
>Wat do?

"All in a day's work, Ma'am."
Continue Questan for JUSTICE.

If the court had given you a reward for serving JUSTICE, you'd have thanked them and continued on. So it is with drow goddess pussy.

>>12717801
more like ASSIMOAR

>>12717593

Because you did your job and killed on of your brothers in faith, regrettably, and didn't get a pat on the back from pelor you want to switch to Eilistraee because she said thank you for doing something nice?

What the hell kind of paladin is that? I don't think Eilistraee would want you as a paladin after that.

I think the thing here isn't that he "owes" the god for the fuck. Rather, he has just had a direct visit from a god, who obviously approves of him. Pelor's fine and all, but there is a certain intimacy (pun sorta intended) with this god that may validate the switch

>>12718684

No one is suggesting that he shouldn't be grateful and not let a pray to her ever pass his lips. But honestly to abandon your god (a god that is actively blessing you with power) because of what amounts to a thank you card from another god just seems, wrong.

>>12718684

I have to admit, if a deity had shown that level of intimacy and I was interested, I WOULD seriously be considering a switch. Considering, at least.

>>12718660
A paladin is expected to dedicate his life to the cause of good, and sacrifice that life, if need be.

If his god doesn't appreciate him, fuck him.

>>12716581
I'd say you should say goodbye to the group and the game. What the fuck.

>convert to Elistaree.
>Go on crusade to redeem the drow.
>suddenly, Drizzts everywhere.
>oh god what have i done.

>>12718660

PELOR DOESN'T FULFIL MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS.

>>12718935

>convert to Eilistraee
>build drow harem
>suddenly half-drow paladins everywhere
>feels good man

>>12718935

>convert to Ardarvia
>convert the fuck out of the drow race
>loyal and disciplined drow slaves everywhere
>this is LG rite?

>convert to olidamaa
>problem, deities?

>>12718872
Who says his god doesn't appreciate him? Pelor just isn't the type to reward someone with near immediate sex. Also, if he did switch he'd be stupid to think that he'd be doing her as a reward on a regular basis.

The sex doesn't mean she want him to switch patrons it just means that his actions got the favorable attention of one of the less inhibited FR deities.

>>12718988

Besides, think of all the OTHERS that she's been with, if she's handing out the girl-candy that easily.

Thousands of spiders, dude.

>>12718979

You're not allowed to convert to a god whose name you can't even spell.

>convert to Sharess
>getting sex for religion is normal
haters gonna hate

>>12719000
So that means all barbarians are atheist?

>convert to Anoia
>eat corkscrews
>everyone rattling drawers
>my face

>>12719000

Pictograms.

You can tell those guys worship Kord on account of the painting of a big dick.

>>12718958
I wonder if it's possible that OPs Paladin could've conceived a Half-Drow God of Justice with Eilistraee?

>>12719126

Maybe that was her plan all along. If not, I doubt it, somehow I think a deity is capable of basic birth control.

>>12719491

How the fuck do half-gods even work? Mortals with high stats and spell like abilities or divine rank 0 beings?

>>12719792
I'd say divine rank 0

>>12719792
Deities and Demigods say they're Divine Rank 0 beings.
If this is a Forgotten Realms setting a Paladin has to follow either a LG, NG, or LN deity.
Eilistraee is CG.
Pelor and Eilistraee are also not in the same setting.

On a side note, I'm rather surprised /tg/ hasn't gone into a massive rage about how some random paladin fucks a goddess just completely out of the blue, under the guise of "thank you sex", when you all go berserk whenever it's brought up that epic level NPCs have done such.

>>12720252
Because said NPCs are author insert mary sues.

FR allows paladins of Sune, who is certainly CG.

>>12720252
That's because NPCs are, well, NPCs. They're one dude writing down a story - not two dudes engaging in mutually masturbatory IMAGINATION.

>action doadsk

>>12720252

Well of all the goddesses to randomly fuck a paladin as a way of saying thanks Eilistraee is way up there on the list.

>>12716581
Dont think so. However, you could easly track down a priest and have a amusingly awkward conversation concerning it.

Also, what makes you think that was actually Eilistraee?

that aside, sounds like all is well in paladin land.

>>12720449

Priest probably would explain it as a metaphorical vision or something.

>>12720477

"So...when Eilistraee joined with me, that symbolizes waht exactly?"

"That you tapped dat ass."

"You are not a very good priest, Father John."

>>12720252
NPCs are not supposed to be important. PCs are. It's that simple.

OP's dm would win huge points with me if it was actually Lolth.

>>12720630

Who is now tsundere for the paladin.

>>12720684

.................

shouldnotwant.jpg

>>12720630
>>12720684
>>12721666
I think I watched that anime.

>>12717087
I suck at fluff, but want to try this.

Anyone want to make a prestige class that stacks on paladin that is basically the paladin achieving a state of ultimate purity of the mind where they realize that all good and neutral deities are essentially the same and law/chaos have a cause-and-effect relationship with each other?

Leading the paladin to embrace the teachings of all the setting's non-evil pantheon and give blessing from them at will?

Like a paladin reaching a divine nirvana and inner peace.

So they wouldn't have to worry about falling from non-lawful actions, but would still have to fulfill some difficult criteria (that a DM couldn't force them to fall from).

>>12723537
Paladins already can't fall from non-lawful acts, only from evil ones. That being said, I kind of think what you're talking about would be more suited to a cleric, as paladins lack much of a focus on deities. Play cleric, select "non-evil deities" as your pantheon, play him like a paladin (he already has the armor).

>>12723537
Would you still be a paladin at that point? I think that'd count as god status.

>>12720630
>Paladin saves surface drow, rewarded with lawful hot dicking from a goddess.
>"LOL ITS ME LOLTH U FALL."
>Lose paladin levels, Lolth gets pregnant.
>Take levels in bard and cleric of a neutral deity.
>Lolth sends drow after ex-paladin to kill him.
>Righteous dickings all around.
>Lolth sends spider army after ex-paladin.
>Ex-paladin creates Nerubians in his setting using only a spider swarm and his own semen.
>Lolth sends her divine children after ex-paladin.
>The males are now gay, the females are now teen pregnant.
>Lolth gives up.
>Ex-paladin becomes king of the drow pantheon.
>Ex-paladin and Corellion Larethion raid Moradin's booze stash and hire demon hookers.
>Fuck yeah.

>Ex-paladin creates Nerubians in his setting using only a spider swarm and his own semen.

GAHHH REALLY SHOULD NOT WANT FFFFFF

>>12723537
Class name: Messiah

>>12723689
Prestige class: pimp.

But seriously, can anyone imagine a prestige class meant to add onto paladin that has a seduction theme to it?

I'd love to throw my DM for a loop with that. He's used to me being the stable player that he doesn't have to worry about and I really want to have some real fun for once bard style.

>>12723959
...why not just give your paladin a seductive personality? It'd be slightly less retarded that way.

>>12723972
Yeah, but he could probably dull it's effects if he thought I was turning it on him.

I want something that I can complain about if he doesn't let me use the class features.
Like I said, I'm sick of being the voice of reason in every situation!

What about a paladin/bard with Virtuoso?

>>12724006
Being a paladin is kind of all about being the voice of reason.

I think it might be time to reroll, sir.

>>12720325
Sune is specifically listed as THE exception to the rule, for reasons not really explained.
That and her paladins go around more pleasuring people than destroying the wicked, if they take her paladin's prestige class the ultimate ability turns them into a fey whose purpose is just to warm people's hearts in acts of passion and pleasure.

>>12723450

I am now trying to imagine the opening title sequence in my head.

It involves a montage of shenanigans involving Lolth doing inappropriate things to impress the Paladin and him being exacerbated. A Japanese woman is singing an upbeat theme song that I can't understand. At the end of the title sequence the Paladin is standing on a hill looking int Lolth's eyes as the sun is setting. Then it cuts to the title card, which is in Japanese.

bump for read.

>>12725133
Don;t worry about not being able to understand the opening theme song. It has NOTHING to do with the show in any way at all.

>>12727239
You know, I'm surprised no one brought that up earlier.

Did NOBODY in this entire thread consider the possibility that she literally was the mother of those two girls and left her holy symbol behind on accident?
"Hey, guys, this shield I bought from the Dwarven weaponsmith has Moradin's symbol on it. OMG, I JUST MET MORADIN!"
I am disappoint, /tg/.

>>12727702

I am disappointed I didn't think of that. So I prefer the Lolth options.

>>12720630
>>12720684
>>12723450
>>12725133

>>12727702
She might not have even left it by accident. She was naked when she met the Pali. She might have left it as part of the Thank You.

>>12727702

If you have sex with a female drow and it is pleasant it was Eilistraee. If you have sex with a female drow and it is painful it was Lolth.

Holy shit, this thread is still here?

Amazing.

That being said, why is this thread still here?

>>12727702

Better yet, she set this up hoping the dumb humie would come to this conclusion. They're so adorably dense.

>>12727702
>>12730066

It sounds like she spoke Common, though? You'd think without a language barrier it's hard to excuse this kind of a miscommunication.

>>12730262

Drow troll you through sexual mishaps.

>>12730392

How do trolls troll then?

>>12727702
That makes it even BETTER!
"What? A... What? No, I'm not a god at all!" That's right, you ditched your god for NOTHING!

This thread is not yet dead!

Drow pussy is all fun and games until you pull out and find that your cock is now covered in spiders.

>>12732702
It's not viable for a drow to do that. We figured this out months ago.

>>12732770
Did we take into account the fact that they have poisons specifically made for causing spiders to spew from orifices?
Surely they could change the engineering around a bit.

>>12732702
>>12732770
>>12732816

>>12732858
are they going in or out?

>>12732872

Both. Spiders aren't very coordinated in groups. It's a spider traffic jam, in her vagina. No wonder she's got an attitude.

>>12732872
Supposed to be out.
>>12733029
She seems more... you know. "Sigh, I guess it'll be like this again." Rather then having an attitude.

I was wondering when this thread would turn to SPIDERGINA!

>>12725133

Naw, it's J-horror. It starts off as this sweet flirtation between a seemingly gentle and shy drow woman, and the buff manly paladin; and as they get deeper into the story she starts to let out more and more of her chaotic behavior. Seemingly regretting it, every time she claws his back bloody, or slaps him for trying to show affection.

It culminates in an extended torture-sex sequence where she transforms to her half-spider form and then brutally rapes him to death.

>>12733647
Is... is that what happens in that movie? I WAS thinking of renting it.

This thread?
Bumped.

>>12717593
>You show me YOUR honor!

Drow Bitches man... dem drow bitches.

>>12734215
Actually, it happens in Wicked City.

The anime and live action movies alike.

Is this assuming that you are female or male?

>>12735502
>>12734215
>>12733647
My god!

>>12736160

...Does it matter? How would it change anything if we assume the paladin is a woman? Maybe it's more likely the drow sees the paladin as a social equal? About the only difference I can think of.

.....
Isn't Eilistraee an elven goddess?

>>12740571
Drow are still elves. Surface drow that say "FUCK THE UNDERDARK, Imma be almost normal up here." Tend to turn to her.

thread is awesome

>>12732858
that is a startlingly huge cunt... her cameltoe must start halfway up to her navel.

love this thread

>>12741188
It would HAVE to be big to fit all the spiders.

... And later, the paladin met the drow, again having a short but pleasant encounter, before dissapearing... and again... and again... a somewhat close yet distant relationship between them, with both members unable to stay with each other while being together...
All of this like the everlasting dance of the Sun and the Moon, never able to fully see each other as the Earth always stand in their way, forced in this odd behavior by necessity, with only the Stars as their witnesses...

>>12742900
What about Eclipses?

>>12742977
Well, that's the point with Earth being between them: when the Sun would be able to see in the deep of the Moon's eye, it interpose itself between them, making them unable to truly feel each other's love.
And the solar eclipse? It's when the Moon need to do something the Sun should not know (you know... drow stuff...)

>>12743030
Isn't Solar when the moon gets int he Sun's way? Meaning the sun could see her? Or do I have them switched? Either way, one eclipse the Moon is between the Sun and Earth so the Sun can see her. (Or at least her ass)

Ask yourself OP:

Would Pelor hop into the bed with you? Like her?
Would it feel good at all? Like with her?
Would horrible sun penis burn you? Unlike with her?

>>12743053
If we are speaking about astronomy, then yes, but think about it the other way: the Moon always show the same face toward the Earth, so that in this case, her "eyes" would be turned aways from the Sun completely.

>>12743088

This is normal during many forms of penetrative sex.

>>12743123
Please, I am talking about the symbol... you do not show lovers turning away to each other, it's counter intuitive. Even more, usually it mean a break in each other's trust. Try not to be anal with it... ameh, yeah it's a awful one, sorry.
Leaving /tg/... good continuation all!

>>12743088
>>12743123
>>12743196
I think I remember hearing a Native American story once, can't remember what tribe...
The Sun and Moon are a bickering couple who seem to hate each other, which is why they stay away from each other. The Moon likes to keep an eye on the Sun because she doesn't trust him (which is why you sometimes see the moon during the day)
Well sometimes Sun gets lonely. Real lonely. So he begs the moon to come to him and let him embrace her. And that's what happens when there's an eclipse.
Never heard the story for the OTHER kind of eclipse though.

>>12743232
They're flipping roles.

Sun likes to be sub sometimes.

>>12743232

That's when the Earth finally gets some.

Celestial Bodies are my fetish.

He shouldn't convert. She didn't ask him to or in any way imply it other than the hot sex. So if Eilistraee, she won't be pissed if he doesn't. Also avoids problems occuring for converting if it was just some random Drow.

Now if Eilistraee and she kinda wanted you to convert... not converting will just show her that she has to give more encouragement.

Win/win for not converting.

it's Ellistrae, she's a nice drow girl that you can prolly introduce to your mom if she lets you

and you're a paladin, so just thank Pelor for letting you have a bit of goddess fun as a reward of your being a good pally and get on with your life... prolly with a pretty cool anecdote to tell folks in a party or something

>>12743546

If she does straight up say she wants him to convert...maybe he should hire an agent to deal with all these deities? Like, it works for NFL players.

>>12744184
You just got Traded to Kord for a few rookie clerics with potential. Sorry,

>>12744305
So if a Paladin falls, does that actually mean that his patron traded him to an evil deity for a first-round draft pick and a month's worth of concentrated prayers?

Does this make Morridin the equivalent of the Pittsburgh Steelers?

And Vecna's the Cowboys, he just can't put a decent team together.

>>12744455
>>12744305

You know what? My players wanted my to run a 3.5 FR game with religious overtones.

I may troll them now

"But I wanna worship Sune!"

"Sorry kid, but Tempus got first pick this go around. Don't worry about it, just botch your first crusade, go Illmater and EASE into love goddess. Easy Peasy."

Oh god, religion is like the fucking NFL crossed with bureaucracy the musical.

>>12744502

>bureaucracy the musical

Tell me this is real.

>>12744184
>>12744305
>>12744455
>>12744483
>>12744502
I love you guys.

>>12744510

If it doesn't, I'm making it.

>>12744483

Which makes Pelor the Packers after last week.

Thread starts with a Paladin fucking a god he DIDN'T worship.

/tg/ thinks about the ramifications.

It is decided that this was one of the better god for a horizontal tango.

Then FR gods turn out to be playing some sort of reverse fantasy football with their followers.

Is it just me or are there a lot of good threads on /tg/ right now? Has this been archived?

>>12744582
PACKERS FOR THE SUPERBOWL!
GO PACKERS!

>>12744599

The "No, Pelor, No!" bits were probably my favorite part.

>>12744599
It SHOULD be.

>>12744672

I just did.

Sadly, that means the epic thread about Ghostbusters meets Delta Green with inter office politics is getting neglected. i gotta wait an hour before I can archive again.

>>12744707
It'll be there. That's a good one too.

>>12743059

I think that this post in particular is the sort that I am suddenly going to remember a week from now and burst out laughing.

>Drow girl fucks me
>SHE WANTS TO CONVERT

Seriously, we are arguing about how important role playing pussy is to deciding religion. I mean I am all for roleplaying but man.

>>12744854
Well this Drow may or may not be a GODDESS.

>>12716581
You don't need to convert. I like to play my paladins as if they are trained by a particular religion but then move on to the general concept of Justice and Good, using what they are taught as the cornerstone.

Just be grateful that some smoking hot goddess came for you and continue on the eternal quest of Good and Justice. If she appears again and has a bit of a heart to heart with you then evaluate what you might learn from her ministrations.

>>12745130
... What do goddesses cry out during sex? "OH ME OH ME OH ME!" Just doesn't seem right.

>>12745152
OH GOD
>OH MORTAL
OH GOD
>OH MORTAL
STOP MOCKING ME

>>12745152
>>12745253
You know, in a world where gods can and DO come down and interact with mortals... I have no idea how to answer this question.

>>12745325
LORD AO! LORD AO! LORD AO!

I mean, if they're in Faerun.

>>12745342
But that sounds like "LORD, OW!" And no Goddess would ever admit to a mortal causing them pain.

>>12745420
OVERGOD OVERGOD OVERGOD?

>>12745440
Admitting there's something higher then THEM would be just as bad as a mortal cock hurting their vagina.

>>12745342

To the tune of "Here we go, here we go, here we go!"

Fantastic. The overgod is worshiped only by football hooligans and unionists.

>>12745152
>>12745253
>>12745325
>>12745342
>>12745420
>>12745440
>>12745460
>>12745484
/tg/ - Discuss EVERYTHING.
No details left behind.

>>12745500
Well... that covered my "daily demotivationals" for today.

>>12745500
This thread is now also on it's THIRD DAY.

>>12745523

Are you trying to make a point?

>>12745523
Yes I know. I've been reading it. For about 2 days.

>>12745534
That the longer a thread lives the stranger and more bizarre, and awesome, it becomes.
And there's AT LEAST 60 more posts before we hit bump limit. (What IS the bump limit now? 250?) Who knows how far down this rabbit hole will go?

He shouldn't convert. He's a Paladin of Pelor. He made a commitment. But he CAN pay his respects to Eilistraee.

>>12745541

Were you not here for WHM's story-time threads? The lasted like 4 days each.

When something is awesome enough, we let it roll.

>>12745541
Nope. There's a 2 day old Webcomic thread currently at 267. It's 300.
So there's a little over 100 posts left.
Oh my.

>>12745534
I hope >>12745523 did!

>>12745556
WHM? I remember a few threads lasting days each, but I wasn't part of them.
Guys... I don't want to Jinx it, but the last week or so... The dawn of a new age for /tg/ is coming. It's like how it was when I first started here years ago, or is getting back to that.

>>12745575
>The dawn of a new age for /tg/ is coming
This sound like a quote from some movie.
/tg/ movie.

>>12745575
Well I ain't complaining.
BUCK BACK TO THE DROW GODDESS BOOTY CALL!

>>12745602
God, what if it WAS just a Booty Call?
"Oh, you... you converted to me. That's... awkward."

>>12745617
...Hahahahaha....

>markhe upon;
Indeed, this is a mark upon /tg/. A good mark.

>>12745549
He could pay his respects to Eilistraee's priestesses too. All her their chests.

>>12745617
>>12745619
That would SUCK for the Paladin! Can you imagine trying to go back to your old god?
"So... uh, Pelor? It uh... It didn't work out... PLEASE! PLEASE TAKE ME BACK!"

>>12745624
"i fucked you're god"

Imagine the reactions... wait no, don't.

Oh /tg/ you have ,y heart ALL a flutter!

>>12745656
"No way! You broke my trust once! Never again! Beside I found a new champion anyway~"
This sound like a dating sim.

>>12745680
But with GODS! It would be glorious!
Change the wording a bit and people wouldn't even KNOW it was a dating sim!

>>12745680
PELOR DATING SIM

>>12745680
I can hear the Yaoi fangirls squeeing already.

>>12745680
y u do this

>>12745688
>Change the wording a bit and people wouldn't even KNOW it was a dating sim!
Dear god... you're RIGHT! Change "You've already betrayed my trust" with "You turned your back on your god!"
Instead of shopping at the mall for gifts, fetching an artifact of power in the name of your god...
>>12745541
I feel this rabbit hole has turned to a dark direction.

>>12745717
>dark direction
>drow
What other directions could it take?

>>12745737

Oh no you didn't.

OP: You must hold out. Remain truthful to Pelor, your true god. But at night, at camp, on guard duty... talk to her. Just... chat. Let her know the real you, secret thoughts and all.
1: Those notes you are passing to your DM? Try and take a picture of his face. Epic.
2: Going for round 2, hoo-ah.
Convert when she comes on down and asks you to.
And bumping epic, EPIC, thread.

>>12745698
>>12745700
>>12745717
Look what you've done stalker!

>>12745759

Oh god. And Lolth can be the tsundere older sister option.

>>12745760
I've created a monster!
>>12745776
S-Stupid human! I-It's not like I care about you or anything. J-Just take this blessing and leave my temple!

Stick with Pelor, Eilistraee is a bitch and I guarantee that was one of her less-bitchy exarchs.

>>12745759
This will be hilarious if it turns out it wasn't actually Eilistraee, but just another drow.

>>12745808

Hah. She courts you with gift-wrapped elves, freshly polished spider concubines, and the tattooed skin of dorfs.

>>12745672
>>12745624
Given Eilistraee supports naked dancing, I expect he would be honored with naked dancing Drow women.

S.. stupid unworthy human defiling our most beautiful goddess. You will be punished severely for your sins.

But first, WE MUST DANCE!

epic thread

somebody archive this already

>>12746317
Suddenly wet Saree scene?

Hmmmm this thread looks interesting.....

>Open up /tg/
>click random thread
>'Are the spiders going into, or out of her vagina'
>'Unholy spider traffic jam in her vagina'
>Oh god what
Stay classy, /tg/

>>12746317

A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having.

... I now want to play a Guy Fawkes inspired Eilistrae follower trying to overthrow the drow system. Or something.

>>12747197
Did you read the REST of the thread or stop there? It gets even weirder!

>>12733647

what movie is this??

So can we combine football and dating sim into one entity? Because that would be an awesome little game.

>>12748754
Lolita, I think. Horror movie.

>>12748761
Indeed it would!
>>12748754
Audition. Japanese horror flick.

>>12748761
Sure. It's a football type deal, except the game engine is like a date sim, you want to get the deities to hand you off to wherever you want to get handed off to. At the end, you have sex with your final deity.

The only thing I don't know about is how we could make Harem End work.

>>12748754

Boku no Pico

>>12748754

Sentou Toodo Monogatari

>>12747408
>A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having.

Are you a woman? Unless you mean dancing between bullets.

>>12748887
You have OBVIOUSLY never seen a Baliwood movie.

>>12748887

That's a V quote. Get a clue.

>>12749003
I did... once. I still have flashbacks.

>>12748805

Tsundere football players.

>>12749003

I've often wished my life were a Bollywood movie, for basically this reason. Lots of dancing and flashy colors even when it's mundane shit people dealin with.

>>12749052
Then you have stuff like this.

>>12749064
OH GOD THE FLASHBACKS! OH GOD!

>>12749064

Looks like Exalted: The Motion Picture

I've seen part of one in an Indian resteraunt once. It was... Awesome. Terrific. Incomprehensible.

By which I mean, 'Awe inspiring', 'terror inspiring', and 'not in English' respectively. I had no idea what they were dancing about, but it was colorful and cool. Take a generic action movie, and replace all fights/gunfights/explosions with spontaneously breaking into dance. Yeah.

>>12749130
So it's like a Musical?

>>12749222
No! It's like- It-

I don't even have words. I'm sorry, I just can't describe it.

>>12749237
... an Action Musical?

>>12749237
Bollywood Films are a revaluation into a higher plane?

>>12749296
Yes. That's exactly it.

>>12749005
I'm pretty sure it was an Emma Goldman quote first, or at least a paraphrase.

V quoting her makes perfect thematic sense though.

>>12749442
>sees .gif
I... but... WHAT?

>>12752212
Don't question. If you think to hard about it your brain explodes.

>>12716581
Well, like my mother said, never dip your pen in company ink.
I could see problems banging your employer. Forget to get her some flowers or some shit on the way over, and BAM. Fallen paladin.

>>12752404
I have a hard time seeing that unless... well, do goddesses have a 'That Time of the Month'?

>>12752404
>>12752494
And now back to Drow Goddess sex.
The Circle is complete!

>>12752494
Lolth's been on hers ever since she became the spider queen.

>>12752596

Yes, and as we all know, the blood of Lolth is made out of spider.

I...want to run a Bollywood paladin/Eilistraee/Lolth romance/action musical campaign now...

>>12752766
>>12752596
You know... I'd date Lolth. Give me a bottle of rum and I won;t even care if shes all... spider form either.
speaking of rum...

>>12752924
That would be the BEST THING EVER!

>>12752766
...which explains why the spiders come out of the vagina.

IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER.

Honestly? Slap a couple of extra arms on them, and Eilistraee and Lolth really do seem like they would fit into the Hindu pantheon. They just have that feel.

I'm kind of curious about where this can be taken now...

>>12752983
Only 35 more posts to bump limit. It better go somewhere fast.

>>12752924
>>12752983
Eilistraee and Lolth probably know every fucking position in the Kama Sutra

>>12752983

Wait, wait wiat wait!

Eilistraee and Lolth are dual aspects of the same deity.

Both are in love with the paladin.

Paladin has to make peace with and restore harmony between the goddess' dual nature? Possibly has to explore different aspects of his own god to join in harmonious union with both?

>>12753011
And WROTE half of them!

>>12753016
Elistraee and Lolth can't be different aspects of the same Deity, Elistraee is Lolth's daughter by Corellon!

>>12753002

Shit, I got work. I am saving this idea though, whether it bears fruit tonight or not.

Drow work off a caste system, perhaps? Makes sense, kind of. But how should it be set up while showing the touch of both Lolth and Eilistraee?

>>12753033
If you're actually going to do it, you should probably add Vhaeraun too.

>>12753030

Gods DO work that way, in every polytheistic religion that treats them as more than just really powerful people.

>>12753018
Well, elves are pretty kinky that way so you're probably right, Anon, you're probably right.

>>12753030

Eh, if it gets in the way of awesome, ignore it. This is pretty much building them into something different anyway.

Plus it wouldn't be the first time a god's lover and daughter were the same....

Which puts it right up /tg/'s alley, am i rite?

>>12753075
Yeah, but Araushnee didn't become a total bitch until well after Eilsitraee was born. Plus weren't she and Vhaeraun twins?

>>12753016
>>12753030

Either way, I would watch/read the shit out of that.

>>12753128
With one you get a pretty awesome (if non canon) story.
With the other, wincest!

This needs to happen.

>>12751586
See? I knew there was a woman behind it somewhere. Real men only agree to dance, begrudgingly, because their girlfriends/wives want to do so. Dancing is a horrible social atrocity.

>>12752924
Or.... you could produce Bollywood paladin/Eilistraee/Lolth romance/action musical...THE MUSICAL

>>12753336
You are a bad person and should feel bad.

And have obviously never danced with a woman.


The Bollywood elistarae/lolth/paladin actionmusical should be done. Make it happen, excellen/tg/hostwriters.

>>12753710
Something so mind boggling would need it's own thread.

Wait...what if pelor sent the drow goddess to bang the paladin as his reward for doing the right thing even if other followers of pelor say otherwise, and the goddess left the amulet to screw with the paladin since she is after all lol drow...YOU JUST FUCKED UP!

*This baniment

captcha says it all

>>12753761

Indeed, but my writefaggotry is weak at best. Someone, someone with talent do this!

>>12753336
You're white, aren't you? Anyone with a soul likes dancing.

>>12754807
Not him. I'm the whitest guy I know. I wish I could dance.

>>12754968
I feel ya bro. I LOVE dancing, but kind of SUCK at it.

>>12755007

Swing dancing was made for white guys. Shit's cash, yo.

>>12755028
Ska kids ruined Swing.

>>12755070
Just ignore them and swing your own way, bro.

>>12752924

>>12755512
Woah man, I don't swing that way.

I can't even map where this thread has gone anymore.
Also, this is it's 4th day.

STOP reposting your BORING copypasta. You story is NOT interesting. You suck. Stop

>>12756147

>implying he's reposting

This is the same thread brah.

>>12756154
4 days later is is bullshit copypasta. whatever.

also, fuck you.

>>12756215

Pass brah, even I'M not that desperate.

>>12756222
You appear to be desperate for this lameass thread to continue. You must be the OP wanting to make sure your incredibly gay thread (3rd/4th iteration now?) continues. give it up already.

>>12756242

Not the OP brah, I just like pissing off sagefags

>>12756257
You fuck with EVERY sagefag ever? Doubt it. Why do you care about this thread at all?

>>12756273

Nah brah, just the ones I find.

I care about this thread because you're here and you're a sagefag.

kk no sage, you pathetic douche. This thread need to stop showing up. It's lame, you're lame. Fuck off already.

>>12756309 Fuck off already.

Why? You're the one who keeps posting.

>>12756215
1. scroll up to OP post
2. check date
3. realize your mistake and fuck off

>>12756368

slowpoke.bmp

Prepare yourself, as this shit never fucking happens.

I am apologizing on 4chan... Sorry, *I* was being a drunken douche and I was wrong.

Doesn't change the fact that this thread is gay and should have died DAYS ago though.

you're still a dick. grats. Oh look, my douchebaggery continues. Shocking. aaaand I',m done.

ps: you got fucking trolled. hard. douche.

>>12756468 you got fucking trolled

Wishful thinking brah

Well those last 13 or so posts where... interesting.

>>12756478
Well, we kinda did. His trolling posts were the last straw that finally pushed the thread over bump limit.

>>12756934

Giving him too much credit, the thread was already dead anyway.

We are getting off topic from the terrifying and amazing fact that is Bollywood. I'm going to try and run a all-bard campaign with people spontaneously breaking into dance now. It will be a pale immitation, but it will be the best I can do.