nWoD Hunters/Slasher game.
>THE BODIES KEEP PILING UP IN SEATTLE
>SLAUGHTER IN NEW MEXICO
>BOMBS, BULLETS, BODIES: BOSTON
>KEVIN FEDERLINE: HIS STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS UNCOVERED
I'm running a Dystopic campaign setting, for the record.

"NEW GROUP OF REALITY-DEVIANTS INVADES PEACEFUL TOWN - TROUBLE TO FOLLOW"

"REALITY-DEVIANTS SLAUGHTER NEIGHBORS - CHILDREN VAPORIZED, HOUSE ABLAZE, AND POLICEMAN POISONED"

"TEACHER MURDERS POLICEMAN IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, TWO MORE AT HOUSE"

"HEATHEN RITUAL IN FOREST GOES HORRIBLY WRONG, SETS ENTIRE FOREST ABLAZE"

Common prostitute incites riot in the marketplace, and exposes slavery ring - local aristocrat perishes when drug refinery in basement explodes.

ILLEGAL MINDFLAYER IMMIGRANTS CONTINUE TO ARRIVE IN CITY: STEAL BRAINS, JOBS

>Malcontents wreck local lord's manor!
It was horrible... they came out of the darkness, holding swords and knives and they ... they cut him up and stole everything. My cousin, who works in a tavern two towns over... he said that they'd met the day before and just.... just decided to slaughter everyone!

>Local "sage" held for questioning in his role as informant to the unnamed band of miscreants.

This is your last DnD game and you all know it.

"Everything in the Emprie is fine"
"Rebels? What Rebels?"
"Tear in reality opens in quiet town, everything is still fine."

Another reporter found horribly murdered.
Reuters and AP releases list of places you should never go, things that you should not investigate and tips on how to run away if any stranger approaches you to talk about them.

It would be so much fun to play one of these reporters. Especially in a Peter Parker-style role.

IS THE INQUISITION RUINING BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY?

HAVE PSYKERS INFECTED YOUR CHILDREN WITH AIDS?

ARE HERETICS HAVING SEX WITH HARD-WORKING FAMILIES?

"LOVE CAN BLOOM"

TECH PRIEST CAUGHT QUESTING FOR KNOWLEDGE IN XENO WITCH'S PANTS

LOCAL SANCTIONED PSYKER CONTINUES TO STEAL NOSES, AUTHORITIES BAFFLED

GOVERNOR'S DAUGHTER DISCOVERED TO BE HIVE SCUM IMPERSONATOR, CLAIMS MISUNDERSTANDING

lol. Keep em coming

>>12621577
They wouldn't make it past the first headline there, because the Inquistion would launch an Exterminatus against the Sun and NewsCorp. The Murdoch line would end. All of which would be good, because it'll take out Fox News as collateral damage.

DARK LORD CONTINUES REIGN OF TERROR, ARE IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME?!

IS SCINTILLA HAVING SEX WITH TAXPAYERS' MONEY?

COULD SINGLE MOTHERS GIVE THE EMPEROR CANCER?

WILL PAEDOPHILES MAKE YOU OBESE?

>>12621477

My campaign DOES have obnoxious sensational tabloid magazines employing intrusive paparazzi reporters with no sense of personal space.

>"Pilots visit Brussels- Latest pictures"
>"User Poll- Which pilot would you invite to dinner?"

I love this campaign so much

"AUTOCANNON VS AN AUTOMOBILE - INFERNO AT INTERSTATE 59"

>>12621601
I see wut you did thair.

BLAH BLAH BLAH
OFFWORLDERS STEALIN OUR JERBS
SAUCY SORORITA ON P3

MAYOR OF REDFIELD-LORRAINE REVEALED TO BE LICH

ADMINISTRATIVE POSITIONS GIVEN TO MURDEROUS WIFE FLEEING FROM MARRIAGE

to be fair this would probably not get printed, there's a competent system of political assassins in place

"DAUGHTER OF A FAMOUS KING TURN EVIL"

"DEMON INVASION AGAIN, STILL NO COMMENT FROM THE POPE"

"WIZARD ORDER DISAPPEAR INTO THE GATE OF HEAVEN"

"HAVING SEX WITH DEMON. SAFE OR NOT"

Cthuluhutech campaign with NEG Mecha pilots here. One of my players actually beat a nosy reporter within an inch of his life.

The Ministery of Information covered it up.

THE STARS ARE RIGHT, THE OLD ONES TAKE DOMINION OF EARTH; ARE IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME?

MAYOR FOUND TO BE WEREPIG!!!

ARE ELVES AMONG US? MORE ON PAGE 3!!!

STRANGE MELONS TURN INTO PLANT PEOPLE, ARE DRUID IMMIGRENTS TO BLAME?

"WHY THE FUCK IS THERE EVEN A NEWSPAPER? SERIOUSLY, THE ENTIRE WORLD BASICALLY EXPLODED!"

"GENERAL ALVARIEL; MESSIAH OR MADMAN?"

"EATING PEOPLE MAY GIVE YOU CANCER, SAY EXPERTS."

"ATTACK ON RIVERSEND. MAYOR BLAMES MONGRELS."

DAEMONS ARE HERE. DO NOT PANIC.

THE EMPEROR WILL PROTECT YOU.

THE DAEMONS HAVE INVAD

THE DEAD RISE EN MASSE ARE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT MOONS TO BLAME?

>>12621663
>IS SCINTILLA HAVING SEX WITH TAXPAYERS' MONEY?

Econophilia?

>ILLEGAL MINDFLAYER IMMIGRANTS CONTINUE TO ARRIVE IN CITY: STEAL BRAINS, JOBS
>IS THE INQUISITION RUINING BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY?
>HAVE PSYKERS INFECTED YOUR CHILDREN WITH AIDS?
>ARE HERETICS HAVING SEX WITH HARD-WORKING FAMILIES?
>DARK LORD CONTINUES REIGN OF TERROR, ARE IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME?!
>COULD SINGLE MOTHERS GIVE THE EMPEROR CANCER?
>WILL PAEDOPHILES MAKE YOU OBESE?
>STRANGE MELONS TURN INTO PLANT PEOPLE, ARE DRUID IMMIGRENTS TO BLAME?
>THE DEAD RISE EN MASSE, ARE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT MOONS TO BLAME?

What is this, the Daily Mail?

ELDER WOMEN HOT FOR HUMAN MEN!

ARE HERATICS AMONG US? READ PAGE 5 FOR MORE INFO.

LOCAL BARBER FOUND TO BE PRACTICING HAIRISY.

INFAMOUS ROGUE TRADER CLAIMS TO HAVE DISCOVERED A LOST COLONY OF SQUA

HAX IN SLAANESHI SEX SCANDAL

MAGOS BIOLOGIS EXPLAIN THE HEALTH BENEFITS OF SOYLENT VIRIDIANS

IS THE CHURCH A LITCHES BITCH?

THE ADVENTURERS GUILD IS DESTROYING OUR FIELDS

ARE INDECENTLY CLOTHED MONKS CORRUPTING OUR CHILDREN? POLL SAYS YES!

CONFECTIONER CONFESSES TO SPREADING HERSEYS

TELEPATH SEX-FIEND BROADCASTS ORGASMS IN COURT

SECOND MONTH OF DROUGHT CONTINUES, ARE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME? CELESTIAL BUREAUCRACY SAYS: YES, FILL OUT THE PAPERWORK OR STARVE.

HOT WITCH CURSES YOUNG MEN WITH TRANSFOMATIVE CURSE.

>>12621861
and the link to these comics would be...

>>12621984
http://oglaf.com/

"BUREAU OF STATISTICS DETECTS LARGE INCREASE IN RATMAN POPULATION IN ALTDORF. ARE BRETONNIAN IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME?"

My campaign settings already has them. It's 7 days a week the same shit:

"Mike Anderson unveils Tsunami Arms' deal with the black market gun runners"
"Night City mobsters sport TA logos"
"Tsunami Arms - Businessmen or gangsters? Asks Mike Anderson"
"Our beloved colleague Michael Anderson died in a terrible car accident"

Some people act like testing experimental weapons in an urban environment by handing it to criminals is a bad thing. Sheesh.

>>12621861
I don't get this.

>>12622093
The slut curse infect the blond girl? I don't know.

>>12621753

Tammy, 18 Half elf from Glittersprings is very concerned about melons. *pic of chippie with her norks out*

>>12622093
Oglaf is pretty hit miss, sometimes it's hilarious other times it's pretty bleh

PEASANT UPRISING IN OUTER TERRITORIES, HUNDREDS DEAD, "NOTHING TO SEE HERE" SAY AUTHORITIES "EVERYTHING IS FINE"

>>12622111

What is this, The Sun?

Orcs: Bringing down hovel prices?

Heroes Burn Dark Lords Castle - Environmental Health Officials push for prosecution,

HOLY TERRA UNDER ATTACK - ARE HERETICAL IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME?

>>12621783
>ELDER WOMEN HOT FOR HUMAN MEN!
>ELDER WOMEN
>ELDER

I don't think you wanted to use this word.

rolled 7, 15 = 22

KING IMPLEMENTS INCREASED ACCESS TO CLERICS FOR HEALING; PEASANTS ACROSS THE LAND OUTRAGED

>>12622292

Maybe he did. Maybe Cthulhu isn't man enough for some Elder women?

>HERO SOILS HIMSELF MID-BATTLE

>Irritable bowel syndrome, or something more sinister?

PRINCESS SEEN DRINKING WITH A GNOLL, CLAIMS IT MEANS NOTHING

NOBLES COMPLAIN OF LOWERED TAXES AMONGST THE PEASANTRY, ARE IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME?

INNOCENT REPORTERS SLAUGHTERED WHILE INVESTIGATING LOCAL PIRATE ACTIVITIES

LOCAL DRUID SHOUTS AT CLOUD

LOCAL CARPENTER SENTENCED TO DEATH; FRIEND DENIES KNOWING HIM THREE TIMES; OTHER FRIEND DIES IN THREE DIFFERENT WAYS AT THE SAME TIME ACCORDING TO OTHER FRIENDS

>EMPEROR CAIN ACCUSED OF PUNCHING AGRESSIVE PROTESTER! REFUTED THE ALLIGATION WITH GERMAN SUPLEX!

>CATAGORY TEN EARTHQUAKE STRIKES AUSTRALIA IN A BIZZARE TRANSDIMENTIONAL TELEPORTATION ACCIDENT. NATURAL WILDLIFE ANGRIER THAN USUAL. MONGOLIAN KAHNATE PLEDGES HALF THEIR NAVY TO HELP COUNTER THE THREAT!

>ANTARTICANS TELL JAPANESE EMPEROR TO GO FUCK HIMSELF WITH HIS SHITTY SWORD AFTER FAILING TO BRING ALCOHOL TO WORLD CONFRENCE OF PEACE AND RECONCILATION HEADED BY ANTARTICAN GOVERNMENT!

>>12621819

>TELEPATH SEX-FIEND BROADCASTS ORGASMS IN COURT

HAH

>>12622419
>EMPEROR CAIN ACCUSED OF PUNCHING AGRESSIVE PROTESTER! REFUTED THE ALLIGATOR WITH GERMAN SUPLEX!

FTFY.

COMMUNIST ISLAMOFACIST WEREWOLF OUTBREAK

>POLICE SUPPRESS EXISTENCE OF ALIENS WITH PSYCHIC MIND POWERS

>In other news: HOLY SHIT POLICE HAVE PSYCHIC MIND POWERS WHAT THE HELL

Building code under fire.

New petition against tax law.

UNKNOWN PARTY OF ADVENTURERS KILLS LORD OF COUNTY.

ADVENTURERS STOP MINE THEFT.

NEUROTIC TEENAGERS DESTROY CITY WITH GIANT ROBOTS; UNITED NATIONS COMMANDERS CITE "EMOTIONAL ISSUES"

In other news, EVERYTHING IS TANG OH GOD IADJKHGJKFLGFKG

GIANT ROBOT PILOTS SEEN COMMUNICATING WITH EXTRADIMENSIONAL HORROR: EVIDENCE OF A CONSPIRACY? DETAILS ON PAGE TWO

ZOMBIE INVASION GRIPS SEATTLE: ARE MONSTER-SYMPATHIZING PILOTS TO BLAME?

AND WHERE THE HECK DOES THE NERDY ONE KEEP DISAPPEARING TO?

PRESIDENT NYARLATHOTEP CAUGHT WITH TRANSEXUAL HOOKER

ELVEN PRIVATEER ATTACKS PIRATE COVE; FIVE KILLED, DOZENS WOUNDED. IS THE EMPIRE CRACKING DOWN ON PIRACY?

EXCLUSIVE! IS THE CAPTAIN A LOST PRINCE? THE SOLAFENA INQUIRER REVALS THE CONNECTIONS BETWEEN AMON UMBAR AND THE SHIP INCOGNITO.

ELDAR CONSPIRACY? DARK ELVES SPOTTED ON THE SHIP INCOGNITO. THE CORSAIR QUEEN DECLINES TO COMMENT.

IN OTHER NEWS: CRAZY KOOK CLAIMS DEMONIC INVASION IMMINENT

LOCAL NECROMANCER DISCOVERS CURE FOR DEATH

SLEEPY VILLAGE CELEBRATES ONE THOUSAND YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF DARK LORD'S DEATH

(next issue)

DARK LORD RETURNS!

ART DEALER'S HOME ROBBED, SET ABLAZE, VANDALISED WITH FECES

GARDENER MURDERED, ACTUALLY NINJA

>>12622405
Rashomon, the campaign?

EX-MILITARY TRANSIENTS ACCUSED OF MURDERING RESPECTABLE LOCAL BUSINESSMAN - CLAIM HE WAS A DEMONWORSHIPPER AND THAT THEY ARE 'ADVENTURERS
See Page 3 for the latest in dwarf tits.

>>12622606
>Every jrpg ever

MAD SCIENCE CAUSES MASS MUTATIONS ALL ACROSS THE GREATER WESTERN TERRITORIES, VIOLENT MOBS ENCROACH ON FORTIFIED CITIES, ARMY MOBILIZED, MERCENARIES HIRED EN-MASS

HALF-ORC/HUMAN SEGREGATION: ACCEPTABLE OR A RELIC OF THE PAST?

ALIENS INVADE, ARE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME?

>>12623268

ILLEGALS INVADE, ARE ALIEN IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME?

YES, TOM

THEY ARE REAL

DON'T LOOK AWAY

THE EYES ARE COMING

Seeing as how it's a modern day Hunter game set in Britain, there already are sensationalist Paparazzi Tabloid reporters.

ALISTAIR BLACK IN 8 IN A BED SEX ROMP WITH JAPANESE IMMIGRANT
SUSPICIOUS AMOUNT OF EXPLOSIVE GAS LEAKS IN GLASGOW, ARE IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME?
ALISTAIR BLACK IN SATANIST NAZI SEX MURDER SCANDAL

GIANT SPIDERS LOOSE IN LOCAL FOREST

ARACHOS SOLDIERS SAVE BAKERY - HEROES OR MENACE?

SPIDER-KIN TEAM UP WITH HOBGOBLINS TO ROB LOCAL TEMPLE

VULTURE CLASSES WITH SPIDER IN THE SKYS ABOVE FOXFORD - ARACHOS IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME

WILL PAY TOP GILDAR FOR IMAGES OF SPIDERKIN

SCOURGE OF THE THRESHOLD FAILS TO ATTACK DRAGON-BLOODED CONVOY: IS THE MENACE SLIPPING?

MYSTERIOUS DOCTOR CHASES OFF SCOURGE, HEALS VICTIMS, AND VANISHES. ANATHEMA?

STILL NO WORD ON PROPERTY-WRECKING TERRESTRIAL FUGITIVES

>>12623408

All it needs is a story about Princess Diana.

>>12623435

I saw what you did there, Parker.

ARE SOLARS HAVING SEX WITH YOUR CHILDREN RIGHT NOW TO RUIN HOUSE PRICES?

>>12623551
Oh you are SO getting Bureacracy Charmed!

>>12621477
ZEON DEFEATS EARTHANOID INVADERS!

Young GHARMA ZABI dies in TRAGIC ATTACK, avenged!

GERMANY ATTEMPTS TO HALT ENTERPRISE LAUNCH! INVADERS REPEALED, MILITARY REPORTS COUNTER-ATTACK.

POWER ARMORS INFECTED BY VIRUS? CAN THE PRIVATE SECTOR PROVIDE SECURTY WHERE NERV DOES?


LESBIAN PILOT RELATIONSHIPS? SHOCKING VIDEO HERE NOW!

>>12623551
>>12623524

ARE SOLARS HAVING SEX WITH YOUR CHILDREN RIGHT NOW TO GIVE THEM SUPER AIDS WHICH RUINS HOUSE PRICES IN ORDER TO DESTROY THE MEMORY OF PRINCESS DIANA?

SO CALLED "HEROES" OF THE LAP HAVE AN INFERNAL EXALT IN THEIR RANKS, INFERNAL CLAIMS SOCIALIST SYMPATHIES!

An editorial follows claiming that the new Solar Deliberative is betraying Creation by working with Akuma...

(The writer is Fiend. :Trollface:)

>>12623576
>LESBIAN PILOT RELATIONSHIPS? SHOCKING VIDEO HERE NOW!

Before we show this clip, we want to warn the viewers that the clip we're about to show is utterly shameless and completely explicit. Nothing...is left...to the imagination. You may want to send the children out of the room.

Okay, roll it.

...

Shameless. Utterly shameless. Roll it again.

...

Oh, yeah. Did you see that? It's shocking, absolutely shocking. Roll it again so they'll see what I mean.

...

My god. I still can't believe my eyes - let's look at that clip again...

GAROU AND CORAX STAND BY WHILE CHANGELINGS KILL INNOCENT MO-MO.

GODDAMN HOW DO WE GET THESE SCOOPS MAH GAWD!

>>12623524

With all our plots to kidnap the Pope, or forcefully get Robert Pattinson embraced so we can cover him in glitter and dust the guy, or stealing a famous cannon, I'm surprised we haven't suggested hunting Princess Diana's ghost.

I'll totally bring that up if we survive having our hideout broken into by vampires. We're already one man down due to a coke-induced heart attack.

Fuck yeah Ashwood Abbey.

Better yet: What if each setting had a large newspaper agency run by a J. Jonah Jameson analog that considers the PCs a menace?

EXPOSING THE SORDID SEX LIFE OF A HOUSE PHIARLAN ENTERTAINER!

WITNESSES CLAIM PHIARLAN ELF BORN IN THURANNI LANDS, 'NOT A TRUE BLOOD' SAY INSIDERS.

PHIARLAN PSIONS, ARE THEY MIND-CONTROLLING HALFLINGS FOR SEXUAL PURPOSES?

ARE LESBIAN ELVES RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DIRE FERRET INFESTATION? SOURCES CLAIM PROOF!

>>12623665
OP here. I wish I had come up with this.

>>12623665

Naturally, the J. Johan Jameson analogue will have a name that shares the same pattern as the original J. Johan Jameson, for example K. Karl Kramer, or A. Alice Anderson.

>>12623665
I WANT PICTURES! PICTURES OF FIGHTER-MAN!

>>12623665

I WANT PICTURES. PICTURES OF SAMURAI GHOST-MAN

>>12623936
I WANT PICTURES! PICTURES OF WARP-SPIDER-MAN!

>>12623665
Freak lightning storm strikes Manhattan! Experts say Delver menace is to blame!

Reds sabotage American Machine expedition! UN does nothing!

American Delvers defect! Communist sympathies revealed in shocking exposé!

UNSERC hates America! The Delver conspiracy revealed!

I WANT PICTURES! PICTURES OF CHILDREN!
(Current game is Innocents, so....)

>>12624067
>>12623991
>>12623980
>>12623936
I WANT PICTURES! PICTURES OF THE PCS!

I WANT PICTURES! PICTURES OF GIANT ROBOTS!

>>12624067
>Pictures of children
>"...my iron fists, clenched and ready!"

Ohgod.jpg

>>12623665
"These so-called 'Heroes' destroyed an ancient castle ruin, they claim to stop a demon lord. I say real heroes could have fought a demon without destroying a valuable piece of history!

I'll bet they destroyed it during a party, a monument to their own arrogance, other town-criers may accept the 'official' explaination but G Gunder Gunderson will show everyone what these menaces really are!"

"ADVENTURERS" STEAL AND CRASH CARGO SHIP, MAKE TOWN OF ESCAPED SLAVES AND KIDNAPPED WHORES! ARE YOUR CHILDREN SAFE WITH TOWN OF SIN NEARBY?

Game you say? I could think of some for my writefaggotry, but... well.

My group's progress at wreaking havoc in alternate-world magitek Sixties New York/Tokyo, in headlines:

STRAITOBAR AMBASSADOR AMBUSHED BY ULTRAHUMANISTS, AMBASSADOR MISSING IN SHOOTOUT

CARNAGE AT KEIRYS STREET, PROPERTY DAMAGED, ORDERED MAGIC USED

WAR ON THE STREETS: RATNAZ TROOPS ASSAULT CONFEDERATE COAST GUARD, INTERNAL TROOPS DEPLOYED

>>12623551
>>12623558
>>12623478

Take your weeaboo porn and GTFO.

MILLIONS SAVED FROM NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST
THOUSANDS KILLED IN NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST
MIXED FEELINGS PREVALENT

VATICAN DESTROYED AGAIN BY HERETICS.
ENCHANTMENTS FOR YOUR COMPUTER
MANA CREATES MANBEARPIG

LEGION OF FATE INVESTIGATORS ONCE AGAIN FAIL TO CATCH PUPPETEER KILLER. STAND BY WHILE INNOCENT WRAITH IS SMELTED INTO SOULSTEEL!

ORK AND TROLL PEACE TALKS BREAK DOWN, RESULT IN PITCHED FIGHTING.

RASH OF GRISLY MURDERS ON RIVERFRONT, CITIZENS LOCK THEIR DOORS.

INCREASED UNEMPLOYMENT, ARE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME?

XXXXX GOD KILLED : COUNTRY/CHURCH XXXXX CRUMBLE.
MASS CLERIC UNEMPLOYMENT.
PALADIN RAN AMOK KILLING TOLL TROLLS

MAN GRANTED INCREDIBLE WEALTH AND POWER IN ILL-CONCEIVED CARD GAME

BARFIGHTS: ARE THEY ON THE RISE?

Wonder how the tau news report the killing of slaanesh thing.

BLACKGUARD THE CHILD-RAPER TELLS HIS SIDE OF THE STORY, ONLY IN THIS WEEK'S HEAT MAGAZINE

MACHINE BECOMES SENTIENT, ASKS WHY IT WAS MADE, DESTROYED IMMEDIATELY, ALL IS WELL

ROGUE TRADER XANATOV FINDS SMALL LOLI IN STASIS, CLAIMS OF MOLESTATION IGNORED

SUDDEN INFLUX OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS FLOODS CITY STREETS, OVERWHELMS SUPPORT STRUCTURES. ARE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME?

>>12627759
hey!

>>12627159
STRANGE MON-TAU MANIFESTATION NO MATCH FOR THE GREATER GOOD.

Even in a Adeptus Evangelion campagin setting with majorly authoritarian governments, there are some.

Test pilots only line of defense against angel attack! North American Union risks massive casualitys intentonally? (True first sentence, BS second)

NERV Supreme Commander related to new HQ pilot? Shocking evidence uncovered! (Because one Ikari is surely related to the other)

Rogue Eva threat ignored? What NERV's Groom Lake branch does not what the public to know about their Unit 09! (It got away from the NPC pilot, and the PC's put it down hard.)

Russias Pilot loses an eye during training accident, branch commander refuses comment on unsafe training methods! (True, no comment because the guy was summarily shot.)

Canadas first pilot candidate a rebel sympathiser? We expose the links with terroists that NERV refuses to acknowladge!
(United States of America conqured Canada in the backstory, some Canadians still dont take this well. One of her family members is a member of such a cell.)

Massive Light event not the testing of a asteroid defense cannon, but the destruction of an Angel! (True, the last angel retreated to orbit, and got a Great Positron Cannon to the core for its efforts.)

Went rather like the pic, just with "You've got a AT stregnth of 12 huh? I have a GPC." instead

UNDERAGE NOBLE FOUNDS TOWN,
RUMORS OF WHORE-FILLED PARTIES ABOUND

SEVEN-FOOT GREY-SKINNED MAN SEEN RUNNING ON ROOFTOPS PURSUED BY YELLING ELF

MAGICAL EXPLOSION ROCKS CITY, KARNATH BLAMED

>>12629271

> WHORE-FILLED PARTIES

WHORE-FILLED PARTY KILLS THINGS, TAKES STUFF

MYSTERIOUS MASKED MAN MASSACRES MALEVOLENT MEN MOST MERCILESSLY

ANOTHER ELF PRINCESS TO WED HUMAN HERO! ELVEN ROYAL FAMILIES GOING EXTINCT!?

posting a quick without reading the topic:

DEMENTED MAN TALKS TO STUFFED HEAD OF ORK. FRIEND LOOTS HIS POCKETS BEHIND HIS BACK

DRUG ADDICTED DIRECTOR OF IMPERIAL INTELLIGENCE EATEN ALIVE.

FAMED ADVENTURING PARTY CONQUERS MOON.

MOON DECLARES WAR ON SUN.

ECLIPSE AWAKENS UNDEAD ARMY.

UNDEAD ARMY MOON BROADWAY SUCCESS.

ADVENTURERS DISCOVER IMMORTALITY, SELL IT FOR ALL THE FOOD IN THE WORLD.

FOOD CRISIS.

ADVENTURERS CONQUER WORLD.

WORLD DISCOVERED TO BE COOLING DOWN.

MOON MOVED OUT OF WAY OF SUN.

GIANT BRIDGE MADE TO MOON, OTHER MOON THREATENS WORLD.

NEWLY DISCOVERED SECOND MOON TURNED INTO THEME PARK.

ADVENTURERS RICHEST PEOPLE EVER.

KENDER ARRESTED CLAIMS PROFILING
ILLEGAL IMMERGRANTS ARE KENDER TO BLAME
KENDER RPES 8 YEAR-OLD
KENDER LYNCHINGS REPORTED
KENDER LYNCHING VICTIM SHIT HIMSsELF

KING IMPLEMENTS BAN ON DEATH MAGIC, IS YOUR HARD EARNED SPELLCASTING ABILITY AT RISK?

NEW KNIGHT KILLS COURT JESTER - KING GREATLY AMUSED

KNIGHT MURDERS COURT OFFICIALS KING'S PERSONAL EXECUTIONER?

BREAKING NEWS! GRIMSFELD NEW KING

KING KILLS DIPLOMAT, WAR DECLARED

COUNCIL UNEASY RUMOURS ADVENTURERS HIRED TO OVERTHROW KING

POPULATION LOW KING WORSE THEN PLAGUE

TYRANT OVERTHROWN, SURVIVING NOBILITY REJOICE

ASSASSINS CONVICTED OF REGICIDE, MORE ON PAGE 3

WANTED: CRUEL ASSASSINS ON THE RUN

COUNCILMAN ALIGAR NEW REGENT

BUMP

THE KING IS KIDNAPPED, ARE IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME?

KENDER ABDUCTED BY ALIENS, LOCALS REJOICE

>>12633604

ALIENS TURN OUT TO BE FELLOW KENDER IN ELABORATE PRACTICAL JOKE, CELEBRATE BY VISITING TOWN.
A COUNTRY MOURNS.

LORD OF BRIGHTSTONE KEEP ASSOCIATES WITH GOBLINS, WEREWOLVES, WITCHES, AND DANDIES.

>>12633655
SERIAL KENDER RAPIST ON THE LOOSE. NO ONE IN A POSITION OF AUTHORITY IS REPORTED TO BE LOOKING FOR THE SUSPECT.

LOCAL BARD LYNCHED, TOWNSPEOPLE REJOICE

BAMP

IS YE KING A SECRET DRAGON? 80% OF ALE PARTY SUPPORTERS SAY "YEA!"

PARTY CONFIDANT SWAMP WILL HOLD TREASURE, MONSTERS

LOCAL WIZARD FINDS DIRE CROCODILE IN BATHTUB

Please help me archive this thread

>>12629240
All of these actually happened in my game. We're about to hit third impact territory.

ANGEL DESTROYED IN THE FOREST! INSURANCE COMPANIES RELIEVED, ENVIRONMENTALISTS ANGRY.

NERV BUILDS LOW-INCOME HOUSING ATOP WEAPON DISPENSERS! TENANTS COMPLAIN OF THE NOISE.

LOCAL EVANGELION PILOT STARRING IN BURGER KING COMMERCIALS, BUT IS HE A VEGETARIAN?

PROTESTERS MARCH ON NERV HEADQUARTERS IN CORONADO. NO SURVIVORS.

LOCAL CRUSADER FATHER OF MY BABY, SAYS GENESTEALER

CROSSDRESSING ELDAR- HOW TO SPOT A LADYMAN

LOCAL SWEDE NOT DRUNK

LOCAL ROGUE SUFFERS SEVERE SPINAL INJURY, BLAMES TREE LIZARDS

INQUISITION TEAM INVOLVED IN GELLAR FIELD BREACH, IMMEDIATELY BLAMES PSYKER

GUARDSMAN SURVIVES 5TH ROUND OF BEING ON FIRE-RESEARCH IS ONGOING

SCOUTS CONFIRM REPORTS OF TYRANIDS DEVELOPING INCENDIARY WEAPONRY AND VEHICLES, MORE AT 11

Actually, our coterie hasn't done anything big YET... although now that I have "Mask of a Thousand Faces," let's see if we can get this in next game session...

"SYLVESTER STALLONE LOVES THE JELL-O!"

TRAVELING DUO OF DESTRUCTION "THE TOURISTS" VISIT KINGDOM SEAT, ESTIMATED EIGHT THOUSAND DEAD

THE TOURISTS DROP IN ELEMENTAL PLANE OF NEGATIVE ENERGY, SOMEHOW BRIGHTEN PLACE UP, NECROMANCERS FOILED AS HAPPY ACCIDENT

TOURISTS DISAPPEAR FROM PUBLIC EYE, PELOR QUOTED AS SAYING "CAN'T TALK NOW, TRYING TO FIND THEM BEFORE THEY STRIKE AGAIN," CLERICS WITHOUT SPELLS ACROSS THE 'VERSE

TYRANIDS, IN MY BOXES? MORE COMMON THAN YOU MIGHT THINK.

TURN TO PAGE 3 FOR MORE CHITINOUS LOVELIES

ADEPTS CALCULATE DAMAGE FYCELINE-FILLED DROP POD CAN DO

TECH-PRIESTS OUTRAGED AT ADEPTUS MUNITORIUM FIELD TESTING

LOREM IPSUM DOLOR SIT AMET, CONSECTETUR ADIPISCING ELIT! SUSPENDISSE GRAVIDA LECTUS BLANDIT LECTUS POSUERE ELEMENTUM IACULIS MASSA PLACERAT!

BUMP

LOCAL DUKE BEATS DEVIL AT CARD GAME.
Relations between the city of Hammerheim and the 61st Netherrealm are improving. Duke Hammerheim comments: "Lets not let those little differences get in the way of cooperation between my new and old citizens!"

GIANT SHOUTING WIZARD SIGHTED, MORE ON PAGE 3

LIVING DEAD WALK IN THE UNDERHIVE AND IN THE WASTES! PLANET WIDE CRACKDOWN! PLANETARY GOVERNOR REPORTED TO HAVE FLED!

>>12621544
D9 & Dungeons? Hell yes.

Daily Wasteland: "Giant flying birds seen over California: mass hysteria or conspiracy theory?"
Zone Gazette: "Bloodsucker-stalker orgy goes wrong: sudden appearance of anomaly to blame"
Steam Chronicles: "Electricity: new source of power, or hoax?"

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DEMONIC POSSESSION ON THE RISE, ARE ILLEGAL SORCEROUS IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME?

>>12644343
POLLS SAY YES

INQUISTION EMPLOYING ALIENS! THE SHOCKING TRUTH!

WITCH-CHILDREN? RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

OH EMPEROR'S BALLS, OW, I HAVE A POWER CLAW RAMMED THROUGH MY PELVIS!

>My usual OOC threat is to 'punch someone in the dick'. Krell himself is usually all 'My claw thirsts!'. He knows it's cliche, it's still scary when said by a huge motherfucker that makes craters when he walks.