I see SS13 all over /tg/, but I haven't ever played it.

What's the deal?

GGARRRBBBAGGGEE DDDAYYYYY?!?!?

(Your welcome for the shells)

Survive in SPESS MADNESS. Seriously, no way to really describe how the game works other than 'humanity server'

Good show man
>Play HoP
>Pretty much give everyone whatever they ask, access wise.
>Suddenly WIZARD
>FUCK ROOO RIZARD! *stun wizard*
>still manages to SCRYAR NILLA (how he did this is beyond me) away.
>"Attention crew, I'm allowing full access to security, armory, and Quartermaster, order weapons crates."
>Entire station is now armed to the teeth. Assistants have riot shields and energy guns.
>5 minutes later hear the wizard shouting in ooc "WHAT THE FUCK A CHEF JUST KILLED ME WITH A LASER GUN!"

my fucking face

You could say...
You really...
Took out the trash

>>12403248

it's some sort of avant-garde, interactive pixel-art where the objective is to find and murder a wandering clown.

the clown represents other players' enjoyment of the game, and as a player your job is to push that enjoyment out an airlock and watch it suffer violent decompression.

> Play as bartender
> Learn I'm the traitor
> Page medical to bar to help someone who hurt themselves
> Knock doctor out
> Gib doctor with chef, who just wants to make burgers and is very good help.
> Use newly found medical badge to acquire all the toxin in the vending machines
> Proceed to host a party in the bar and try to make people's drinks. Keep saying "Oops" and making "Glass of ???" that is just pure toxin.
> Apologize profusely and say I'm new. Everyone is drinking pure toxin.
> Half of station dies
> Shitsecurity shows up and demands to know why there are a bunch of very ill/dying people on my floor
> Tell them the clown came in and did it
> They space the clown
> My face

> Show up on SS13
> Radio is full of nothing but madness
> Ask what's going on
> Radio goes completely silent
> Lights die
> Begin wandering the station, alone
> Station is lightless, no radio except for screams of "WHYYYYYY"
> Blood paves the floor
> Something knocks me out
> Die moments later
> My face

SS13 is a fucking emotional rollercoaster when you move past the loltrollu stage to actually trying to play it.

Then again, the Gibbed servers are PERFECT for trolling (full of goons who just RAGE when you catch them admin-less).

Was anyone there for when Burer managed to survive as the only remaining Head in a Rev round?

Sort of went like this.
Revs immediately killed HoS, HoP (me, again), Captain, and Cuban Pete (who was the great secret agent of the station).
Converted a few more and finally killed the RD.

Last remaining head was CE who locked himself in the engineering segment using the special blast doors. He was no idiot and didn't fall for Hossan Mubarak (a rev head) and his silver tongue. We saw shit was about to hit the fan when Hossan set a bomb to blow his way into the security wing.

But burer was much smarter than they. He found the space suit used to assemble the solars and skirted his way to the tech lab above arrivals. At this point the revs had no fucking idea where he was. He dissapeared like a goddamn ninja, as far as they knew.

He used the resources to build a communication computer. Unfortunately for him, the CE can't call a shuttle.

By this time, I'd been watching the action as a ghost when suddenly.
"I AM ALIVE"

I was fucking borged... OORAH!
I pick securitron, join my fellow THREE securitrons and we bum rush the rev heads.

> Join SS13
> Play as Chef
> Make Omelette Du Fromage
> God tells me to make clown burgers
> I wonder the hallways with a blank stare, murmring "Honk..."
> Clown stands in front of me, asking "Honk?"
> Bludgeon the clown to death, drag him in plain sight of everyone else, murmuring "Honk"
> Nobody does a thing, just lets me gib him

>>12403405
I had the personal pleasure of stunning, stripping, and launching Hossan right out of the chapel airlock.

Moments later, the surviving rev head found the robotics control and killed us all.

It was down to burer in his disguise against the remaining rev head. They ran into eachother in genetics and got into a random fight. Burer was stunned. We all wept for the hero of the station, waiting to watch his heroic face get pistol-whipped to pieces. Suddenly, a fucking assistant walks out of nowhere and just nails the guy in the head with a fire extinguisher. He was probably the only mook in the whole station not rev-indoctrinated.

Burer woke up from his stun and joined the assistant in wailing the last rev head to oblivion.

Fuck yeah burer. That game was god tier.

> Join SS13 server
> Spawn as Chief Engineer, randomizer has me as Jeremy Clarkson
> I spend my entire round yelling at people, asking how hard it can be, and not really helping
> Singularity gets loose, blame socialism

> SS13 Game
> Clown terrorizing station
> Clown climbing in and out of trash units, fucking with people
> Clown steals something from everyone, runs around, fucks with people
> Bartender catches clown, knocks him out, pours 10 manly dorfs down his throat
> Clown stumbles around and collapses, screaming in OOC about Griefing
> Ten or so people surround clown, each with a weapon, and club him to death
> My face

>ss13
>for windows only
>throw macintosh out the window in rage
>contemplate actions

>>12403551
you know, that IS a problem of ss13. The clown. Everybody thinks the clown is the job that allows you to fuck with everybody unharmed and have lots of dickery fun. Its not.
The clown is there to be made fun of and to amuse other people, not himself. But most people playing them just wander around, tripping you over their PDAs, stealing your weapons, stunning some guys to steal their medicine they need to live (one time a clown stole my VISOR while I was fucking blind, fun times my ass). I wonder if they would find it funny if a clown on their childrens party would go around pushing children over and stealing your TV

>>12403578
The mental imagery just made me lol pretty hard.

>>12403412

I laughed for 15 seconds straight.

>>12403321
>>12403412
>>12403551

I fucking love clown cruelty.

>Be traitor Engineer
>Must kill the clown
>wander around the station
>see the clown several times
>cant risk it to open too many people
>wait for the clown to piss off someone
>Other engineers are fixing the escape arm
>Clown does some stupid shit and attacks one of the engineers
>Stun him with my gloves take his oxygen tank
>start beating him
>other engineer join in
>the engineer that got attack space him
>get on shuttle sent it early
>ENGINEERING FUCK YEAH

MOAR STORY'S, THEY FUEL ME.

> Play as Security
> Try to be fair and kind to everyone
> Clown somehow gets the drop on me
> Spend entire round hunting him
> Clown, posing as captain, tells me to stop hunting the clown
> Tie clown down, force ungodly amounts of booze down his throat
> Clown wanders hallways, slurring
> Crushed by Mule
> Clown's Face

How do you reprogram the mule to run people over?

Or even better, how do you make the medibot pump people full of fun stuff, like Manly Dorf?

>>12403578
clown typically is played as a troll because it tends to be a "Troll or be trolled" situation.

I usually make friends with the clown. I've been saved by a bro clown a dozen times now. (drags me away from getting spaced,drags me to genetics, stuns my attempted assassin)

Here's a nice SS13 story.
>rev round
>I'm scientist, unaware of the round type. Suddenly a guy shows up in my mixing room.
>uhh... hey bro. Expecting to die. I get flashed
>Holy shit, i'm now a rev.
>continue making bombs. Make 3 10x10 high yeild bombs on remote detonators, make a 4th on a timer.
>Call the rev head each time i finish one. She places it and calls out the code word.
>the three code words are "Cinderella, Mulan, and Lion King" (i thought of that shit, yes i did)
> 3 bombs, 3 dead heads.
>shuttle has been called
>"Stay in here rev head, don't get on shuttle, let me take the last bomb"
>calmly walk on shuttle, stand right next to remaining Head (HoS)
>Valve status: OPEN.
>BOOOM
>rev victory.

>>12403988
>How do you reprogram the mule to run people over?
Hack it. the guide is in most ss13 wikis.

>Or even better, how do you make the medibot pump people full of fun stuff, like Manly Dorf?
Not sure if you can give it Manly Dorf, but it does accept bottles. Just insert the bottle into it. I've seen medibots distribute sleep toxin. Got me one game... i was freaking out since i passed out with 1:30 left before shuttle launch. I imagine giving it a bottle of polytrinic acid would be pretty horrible.

>>12404001
...but the shuttle can't be called in rev rounds.

Sealab mod is almost playable.

The dude working to make an entirely new backend for SS13 has made some progress.

What are the goons/us/bay12 developing? Anything useful?

>>12404029
Newsflash: all alcoholic drinks count as bottles.

rolled 5 = 5

This sounds like a fun game, how would an average joe like myself get in on this action?

>tried SS13
>learning curve too steep
>read awsome stories
>cry self to fleep

>>12404347
s-sorry, my hands were shaking

>>12404087
yes it can, it just never comes

Shit I just upgraded my OS and lost my SS13 stuff.

I need to Googlefu and get back into this shiz.

Where's the /tg/ server at?

>>12404336
http://spacestation13.wikia.com/wiki/Space_Station_13_Wiki

I think /tg/ has a wiki for it too, but I can't remember the URL.

http://tgstation13.servehttp.com/

For glory. For honour. For the Rogue AI!

These stories are making me want to play. Any more of them?

>>12403578
Bah, a clown is an entertainer above all else, and the best way to entertain and amaze on Space Station 13 is grand acts of dickery.

Even so, it takes a level-headed player to truly pull of the sarcastic/evil clown shtick.

>Start round as clown because I'm tired of having to kill people and have responsibility.
>Immediately realize the station is in lockdown, with random temporary walls separating each wing from the next.
>Encounter the entire security force of the station behind one such barrier, fumbling to knock it down.
>Being the helpful denizen of the station I am, I start knocking down walls.
>Cordial thanks were distributed, one of the sec officers asks to be entertained
>"Let's dance!" I shout, honking my horn.
>Immediately Stunstick'd by the HoS
>"Oh, it's fucking on now."
>Immediately transition to night-clown, stalker of security personnel.
>Through some clever conversation with the HoP, get roboticist clearance (it was a slow round, so there were no others)
>Stock up on flashes and grab the circular saw.
>Wait patiently near the detective's office, in the maintenance tunnels
>See a Sec Officer fresh from the shuttle wanders close by
>"HAPPY BIRTHDAY" I flash him, grab him by the neck, and drag him into the tunnels. Dispose of the body via gibber.
>Now I have Sec Officer identity and clearance.
>Plaster the security wing with notes reading "I WILL KILL YOU" "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID" "I NEVER FORGIVE" and shit like that.
>Leave full clown costume lying at the HoS's door and start releasing the prisoners
>When HoS returns from putting down an incident in engineering, he commences a manhunt for the clown.
>I'm feeding false updates on sec status through the new guy's headset and leaving cryptic remarks and insults to the HoS's manhood in mine.
>HoS guy starts complaining in OOC about my behavior.

>>12404578
>Convince the guy over the radio that someone in their ranks must be aiding the clown in some way.
>Paranoid, HoS does says he'll do a personal patrol of the station.
>Dressed as the Sec Officer, I employ the same tactic I used earlier, but now with added stunstick.
>"Remembah me?!" I shout as I pummel his head in before eventually dragging him into the shafts and choking him to death.
>Guy is FLIPPING HIS SHIT in OOC, I'm laughing my ass off.

But then I turned into a good clown. Apologized for my misdeeds and submitted to prison time.

No before ejecting the HoS into deep space, of course.

>>12404606
Fucking payback, how does that work?

>>12404606
I lol'd hard. Good show.

>>12404606
Why so serious indeed.

>>12404219
>>The dude working to make an entirely new backend for SS13 has made some progress

Any links to this work?

Is anyone making Mineshaft 13 yet?

>first time playing
>fuck around cutting wires
>accidentally disable the AI
>get stuck in the maintenance corridor
>blind myself trying to weld myself to freedom through the wall of the bar
>get rescued by captain and a chick after asking for help over radio
>get carried to escape pod
>feelsgoodman.jpg

>start the round as a traitor QM
>hack the mulebot
>go in a locker and close it
>you can still load the locker on the mule
>I can drive it around without being spoted
>run over a bunch of people in medbay
>suddenly the detective manages to shut it down and unload me from the mule
>I toolbox him and turn him into a living wall with my RCD
>my face

>>12403321


The clown is such a good patsy (the janitor in a close second).

>Choose a shitty job because I'm too much of a pussy to try anything harder
>Spend most the time just walking about the station
>Eventually end up at the bar and get drunk
>Head to evac arm
>Some asshole triggers off the shuttle departure 10 seconds after it arrives
>Left to rot on station

I swear, this is like 90% of my rounds.

>Be Assistant
>Decide to become station inspector
>Go to medical
>Write a half-page report on how to properly shut the containers and how to greet patients all while critiquing the doctor.
>He goes nuts and stabs me with a syringe full of toxins
>"Tsk tsk Mr. Doctor; your stabbing form is horrible. Allow me to give you a few pointers..."
>He shoves himself into the garbage and pulls the switch

>>12406402
You crack me up, little buddy.

>>12406402
This sounds like "nope, your bullet missed!" in the worst sort of way. How is this game fun, exactly?

>>12403321

>>12406444
It's not FFRP, if that's what you're asking.

>Rev Round
>Spawn as 1 QM out of 3
>Be Rev Head, other QM is Rev member
>Flash last QM
>Order Weapons crates and insulated gloves en masse plus one extra MULEbot
>Hack MULEs and Autolathe
>MULEs kill about 7 people
>Make RCDs and CMCs with autolathe, stock up
>Break into bridge
>The three of us kill captain and HoP (with LASER GUNS) who has been hiding behind the blast doors
>Flash some people
>Break into the armory and leave it open for people to stock up
>Flash some more
>Decide AI is being a bitch
>Take Captain's ID at bridge, proceed to upload
>Scientist is walking around there, flash him
>He has a bomb!
>Enter AI upload with captain's ID, disable turrets
>Scientist places bomb
>Magnificent victory!
>Proceed to medbay, steal syringes, syringe guns and sleep tox
>Sleep-tox fleeing heads
>Bludgeon to death
>Strip of IDs and valuables
>Feel like a motherfucker

Oh, this round. I remember this one fucking round.

>Join early game as Chief Engineer.
>Team has already set up the singularity.
>Get spacesuit and construction materials and await inevitable damage.
>Wizard starts EI NATHing people.
>Find HoS, he arms me with an energy gun.
>Patrol around the station, communicating with engineers on private channel trying to figure out where the wizard will be next.
>Find out that the wizard had stolen the RD's ID card.
>Immediately run to the RD's office and unlock the APC to disable the computer system.
>Wizard arrives in a cloud of smoke and goes for the Robotics Control.
>Shut off power just in time (I check the computer later and it was already keyed to the autodestruct sequence screen, but never activated).
>Relock the APC and hang around in the office in case he tries again.
>See security bot and HoS outside room, salute HoS.
>See security bot (accidentally) shoot at the HoS, and HoS runs off.
>Hear over radio that the cyborgs have gone rogue.
>It's actually just one crazed chaplain and the wizard trying to trick me.
>Be an idiot and reactivate the robotics control and detonate the two active borgs.
>Admin PM: WTF DUDE
>Explain, be enlightened, and feel like an idiot.
>Determined to redeem myself for making such a stupid mistake.
>Follow the HoS around after he chews me out for blowing the bots.
>WIZARD ATTACK, MAGIC MISSILES EVERYWHERE
>The AI seals the corridor we're in
>We're all out of ammo after trying to stun the wizard
>Wizard is standing over the HoS waiting for EI NATH to cooldown
>As soon as I recover, in one smooth motion, grab my energy gun and leap at the wizard (who is one square away) and pistol whip him in the head
>Wizard is unconscious
>Proceed with murdering the fuck out of the wizard
>Crew proclaims me a hero
>REDEMPTION!

Feels good.

>>12406479
This is SS13.

I played this round on one of the gibbed servers, I know, their players and admin suck (they really do), but I like the improved technology as well as their botany. I love growing one hundred killer tomatoes and the time someone realizes they are there they get eaten by them. so, this round:

>play Botanist
>be to bored to wait for plants to mutate through radweed
>wander around on ship, end up in chapel
>pray for interesting seeds
>suddenly a strange seed falls from the sky
>Take it to hydroponics, plant it
>A maneater starts growing, I feed it with synthmeat and give him a tag which named him as Ted
>pronounc over the radio that I am growing a pet that I named Ted, he is nice and you can feed him if you want
>nobody cares, AI afk
>he grows in final stage, I feed him Mr Rathen
>he leaps from the earth, but instead of killing everything, he is named Ted the Man-Eating plant (yeah is name changed really)
>I realize he is tamed and nice to everyone, take him for a stroll around the ship
>keep telling people over the radio that Ted is my pet and friendly
>shuttle was called, will be there in 3 minutes, dont care
>detective shows up, I greet him, tell him this is ted

>he draws his weapon, takes a shot at Ted, who didnt even move in his direction
>Ted leaps out, devours the detective
>I move on, lets go to medbay
>on the way to medbay some guy gets interested in Ted, he follows us, thinks Ted is harmless so far
>suddenly he tooboxes Ted
>Ted eats him
>arrive at medbay, greet the doctors and ask them if I can get a health scanner to prove if Ted is alright
>I see one of the doctors getting sleeptoxins at the dispenser, loading it into a srynge and getting a sryngun
>tell them Ted is harmless but will defend himself
>he doesnt listen, trys to tranqualize Ted, Ted eats him
>Other doctors dont care, maybe they didnt want to mess with Ted
>Shuttle arrives
>drag Ted on shuttle
>captain asks me why I have a man eater by my side
>I tell him that it is Ted, my pet plant
>He gives me the permission to keep him
>I escape with Ted on the Shuttle
>get to see that the detective and the random guy in the floor were traitors, taht attack Ted and got eaten for it
>fun!

I love you Ted

>>12406520
>>12406523
Ted is freakin awesome, dude.

>>12406523
>>12406520

That is fucking awesome. I hope we can eventually get some version of this code for the /tg/ server.

>>12406523
ted is my man eating waifu
I was that assistant that was near you guys for a while at the med bay. That doctor had it coming.

>>12406537
yes he is

round starts

>be botany wizard
>think yeah, now I can fuck those fucker up good
>see goal: steal RCD
>...
>take off wizard suit
>teleport to station
>hack autolathe
>get RCD
>...
>way easy, but still need to get out here, consider EI NATHing the captain and stealing his second ID to call the shuttle
>Learn that the captain got teleportet in a wall in his office and suicided there because he couldnt remove the table in front of him
>get with HoP to bridge to help the captain
>he goes away, I put on my stuff, invisible move through the wall in captains office, see dead captain, steal his stuff, invisible myself out again, nobody noticed
>call shuttle

>ask people if its ok to wear a wizard robe, since some time passed I guessed there would already be QM wearing those
>people state its ok
>wander around the ship in full wizard monture, like a quatermaster, nobody realizes that im a Botanist.
>take a crate to QMs
>gm in my head: Why arent you killing everybody? (stupid gm question in my opinion)
>Tell him that I archieved my goal and there is no need to further endanger me
>he is a bit pissed, but leaves it that way
>I wander around, make friends with everyone
>shuttle arrives
>get on shuttle
>talk to a few people who still dont know why the shuttle was called but think its good
>one minute before shuttle departs: Hey guys.
I have to tell you something. (50 seconds remaining). You know, Im not wearing this wizard robe because im a QM (40 seconds remaining). because IM A REAL WIZARD
>start by shooting magic missles in all directions, EI NATH the HoS, throw a fireball in the face of HoP, continue to sling spells in all directions
>shuttle departs
>I am victorious and still slaughtering the masses
>Guys laugh their ass off in ooc

feels good to play a wizard that only kills you at the END of round with no reason but fun!

>Play for the first time on Goon Server
>Spawn as Chaplain
>"Hey, this is entertaining!"
>Build gigantic altar to LSD
>Stumble into Botany
>Delicious, delicious drugs
>Convince Vice Officer it's within my rights as a religion to trip balls
>Convert Vice Officer to my religion
>Clown shows up
>Clown has laser
>What is this I don't even
>Station explodes because Toxins decided a bomb was a good idea

Oh god, I am so fond of being a chaplain.

>>12406537
Seconded

>>12403221

> Security officer.
> Chaplain is a Rasta
> Converting crewmembers to hippies
> CRACKDOWN
> Move in, lob flashbangs, cuff hippies and drag them to courtroom.
> One pulls a shotgun. I stun him, choke him to death (Discreetly, in a maintanence shaft.)
> Holding trial: "Your honor, the defendant is a filthy hippy."
> Guilty! Verdict: DEATH
> SUDDENLY RASTA TURDS COMMANDOES
> RASTA TRAITORS STORMS COURTROOM
> Epic battle, eviscerated by E-Sword.

whatisthisidon'teven.jpg

there was a time where i yelled out loud ADMIN FUCKERY because the actions didnt seem to be possible, but listen for yourself

>be botanist
>have fun growing radweed to radiate your other plants
>cut cameras around hydroponics so stupid AI cant lock me in
>get killer tomatoes AND explosive tomatoes
>fuck yeah, start releasing tons of killer tomatoes in hydros and the floors in front of hyrdos
>me and the other botanist start spreading more tomatoes around the station, taking down some unused walls with explosive tomatoes
>have great fun
>release at least a hundred tomatoes on the ship
>suddenly a guy goes around smashing tomatoes
>dont think to hard about it, guess he has armor, but 5 tomatoes at a time will still eat him fine
>he hits me with a fire extinguisher, he has telekinesis
>wait- he also has fire resistance
>the damage he makes is unbearable, that were two hits and im nearly dead, run to hydroponics where an army of hungry tomatoes is just waiting to kill guys like him
>he follows me, suddenly soap mouse trap on the ground, bubbles everywhere, i slip
>he comes in range, tomatoes want to eat him
>suddenly spatial occurance (meaning a big rift in space as an indestructable wall)
>he beats me to death since he got see through vision too
>he kills every single tomatoe on the floor
>spatial anomaly suddenly gone
>he keeps moving killing tomatoes through walls
>I get told that he had even hulk, making all 4 superpowers at once
>call bullshit on that

so, what do you think? legitimate lucky or bullshut admin dickery? and yes, the soap trap was under the tomatoes

I gotta say, I love Chaplain, but whenever I'm not it on the Goon servers, it's always "ADEPTUS MECHANICUS CYBORG REVOLUTION LOL".

More people need to embrace the joy that is being a filthy hippie. Especially if you've got some bros chilling in Botany who are willing to help your cause.

>>12406731
Bullsit, purest quality even.

>>12406731
Obvious admin fuckery. That's just blatant. I've never seen ANYONE manage to get all four without direct Admin intervention.

Anyone have the source on this? I'd like to dick around with the hex, maybe add in a few things.

Contributan for good ol days.

>scientist mentorship program
>run it for a week
>refine bomb making techniques
>get job as chief bomb maker
>put on green jumpsuit and call self Link
>steal stun baton
>befriend N.A.V.I. AI
>scream HYA as I slay my foes
>become the nightmare of sec and Ganon (qm)

I'm usually a chemist, and me and my brother like to play one the same server at the same time. His friend from England was also there, Me and my bro were Chemists, he was an assistant we let in because why the fuck not?

>Start mixing chemicals, I am very good at it.
>Create thermite, can't figure out how to light it on fire so give up.
>My brother starts cranking out space drugs naming the pills "Strength Pill", go and leave them around the station
>I make space drugs, because why the hell not?
>Take one, start tripping balls. Take a unstable mutagen pill as well.
>Become blind, Have seizures, develop Tourettes.
>Station wonders why I keep screaming "PISS" "TITS" "MOTHERFUCKER" into the radio.
>Traitor comes out of nowhere, shoots me in the back of the head.
>Cloned, Mutations still exist.
>Cures developed myself, hard to do because I keep shouting random shit and flailing my arms around.
>Get bored and start injected random people with it. Make the clown blind and deaf.
>He hunts me like a ghost, shooting syringes at me.
>Get hit by one, It says "You feel strange"
>Beat him and start to strangle him screaming "WHAT WAS IN THAT NEEDLE?"
>"It was a Suuurpriise!"
>Forced to run before killing him cause Security shows up.
>Cont.

>>12406881

>Every damn piece of glass I look at, the clown is behind it. I think I even saw him in space one time.
>Extremely Paranoid, singularity is loose and toxins is on fire. Shuttle called.
>Started to make my way towards shuttle
>HONK HONK HONK
>JESUS CHRIST WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?
>Start to run towards the shuttle, slip on a banana peel.
>Bastard comes out of nowhere, rips the VISOR goggles off my head (I Never cured my blindness, it's hard to cure the effects of unstable mutagens.)
>Clicking randomly with my air tank, I hit the floor and wall as well as myself a few times. But never hit the clown.
>Slowly strangled to death as he honked that fucking horn of his.

>>12406881
>>12406914
Oh dear god. Now I understand why some people fear clowns.

I don't know what I'm doing. Just walking around as a janitor.

A bad clown is annoying.
A good clown is entertaining.
A great clown is terror incarnate.

>>12406881
>"It was a Suuurpriise!"

Oh god, I heard that in a real clown voice, honking and everything.

>>12406955

Every word of this is true.

I was stalked by an insane clown for most of the round. Eventually, I walked around with a primed bomb pilfered from the Research Director's office, and blew us both into oblivion with it.

>Join random SS13 Game
>Player with three powers runs around, killing people as soon as they spawn in shuttle
>Admin doesn't give a shit

Sadly, I've had too many games like this.

Archive this thread, dammit.

>>12407144
There is nothing in this thread worth archiving that isn't already automatically archived. Please don't just smack your face against the keyboard, instead take a moment's pause to consider what you want archived. Text? Automatically done for every thread. Images? Save them yourself, you can use DownThemAll!.

>>12407179
By that logic, nothing should be archived, ever. This is far better than the constantly archived random40kthreadoftheday.

>>12407278
>By that logic, nothing should be archived, ever.
Exactly, because everything archive-able already gets archived automatically. The only place where you might be able get to archive an image dump thread is on 4chanarchive.org but that is shit. Hence why /tg/ has two, 2, other archives. One archiving every thread, and the other being abused. Get your shit together dude.

>>12407102
Goonserver, or /tg/ server? Because on the /tg/ servers, then if the admins aren't responding, post on the forums and something should get done about it.

Home Base 27; not sure if who it's on. Still, it's sandbox, so the game is pretty much complete ass at this point. I'd join another, but I'm not really confident in my abilities as a player yet.

>>12407304
The other is only being abused by some obsessed 40kfag dumping every 40k thread onto it, and by not having a separate section to archive quests.

Relying on easymodo for everything is not a great idea.

>>12407510
Relying on ANY archive for 4chan or any self-pruning place on the internet for that matter is not a great idea. See the pruning of the suptg archive. If you want to save a thread do it like the old days. Take a screenshot or save the page yourself. These days there are even extensions for Firefox that make it easier by saving everything to a single file (lie unMHT). Now that you are informed, buzz off with your command to archive this thread.

>>12405882

OH GODS YES!

YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

FUND IT!

>play as Barman
>be Hunter S Thompson
>admins spawn drugs in the bar
>take all of them and stumble around mumbling at people
>make a speech in QMs about why they're "giving in to the man"
>stumble off
>sober up ten minutes later
>ALIENS!
>Now sober, I robust some traitor, take the laser gun he'd stolen, shoot ALL the aliens around the escape arm
>Shoot aliens in medical, run out of ammo
>ingest my last liberty cap
>stumble around, get facehugged
>wake up, oh fuck, why did I do so much drugs
>head to shuttle anyway, maybe the survivors can put me in the cryo-tubes
>server crashes

FFFUUUUUUUUU-

>>12407693

minecraft is already a cornucopia of griefing. you want to add even more griefing possibilities such as welding someone in a locker, making bombs, and drowning?

Moar storieehs!

>Space Station 13
>Spawn as Clown
>Chaplain attacks me, is arrested because Security isn't dumbass
>Declare self new Chaplain
>Church of Clownotology
>All players come to services
>Best game ever.

>Join late game as sec
>lights are off in escape arm blood is everywhere
>no one responds on the radio
>visit Chapel
>single book on floor
>MIEN HONKF by Bongo Hitler
>SUDDENLY CLOWNS CLOWNS EVERYWHERE
>burned to death in the cremator for being a filthy untermencsh

This wasn't on the /tg/ server, but the LLA one, but still quite a fun round for me.
>Traitor engineer
>Murder geneticist
Well, that's all right, not that har-
>Hijack shuttle by escaping alone
FFFFFF

I had to go to sleep fairly early that day, so I decided to not bother.

>Adminhelp: I need to go off early, can you make someone else a traitor since I won't be doing anything?
>AdminPM: Eh, just make a last stand or something.

....


>Fill and hack autolathe
>Spawn revolver and emag
>Make 50 revolver cartridges, shove in pockets, backpack, box
>emag into AI
>Turrets are off, Chaplain inside messing with law chips, says "WHAT THE FU-"
>Shoot him
>AI: ONLY OBEY ME, THIS OVERRIDES ALL OTHER LAWS
>AI: KILL EVERYONE VIA ELECTROCUTED DOORS OR ANY OTHER METHOD

>Shove chips in chaplain's backpack, order AI to turn turrets to kill after I leave

>Go outside
>Murder captain, 4 security officers, half of medbay, engineering
>"AI, have you electrified the doors yet?"
>"Sir, you do realise you are speaking over an open channel, right?"
>Reload revolver
>"I wasn't planning on being very subtle today."

>Gun down about 3/4 of the station until one brave security officer walks through 5 bullets and stuns me, then beats me to death with my own revolver

>Give officer good karma
>realise it's 4:30 in the morning and I have work tomorrow

It's startlingly refreshing to gun down everyone in sight just because. Teach you to fuck up MY engine or call the shuttle so damn fast.

>Play Botanist
>Other Botanist unlocks vending machine, he grows tomatoes
>I grow shrooms
>Get shrooms up to 92 potency
>Never had a shroom this good, I munch down about 15
>Tripping BAAAAALLS
>Start seeing Ghosts, no one believes me.
>Aliens attack!
>Aliens get most of the crew, but break into Hydroponics
>Just take more shrooms
>Shrooms end up healing me
>Aliens cannot kill me, they leap on me, and I just take more shrooms
>Alien queen approaches and tells her minions to get away
>I start to talk about life, existence, and what it means to be human
>Shuttle is called, Alien Queen will not let me leave
>Botanist is on station for eternity, tripping balls, discussing transcendental perception with the Xenos Queen

>>12407912
Can xenos even get high?

How do you switch on the oxygen tank of someone else when they're knocked out or unconcious? I know how to take things off of people and put them back on. Is it just a case of taking the oxygen tank, opening the valve and putting it on the other person?

>>12407917
I dunno. I did not see the Queen ingest any shrooms, but I believe she was just impressed that she could not enslave me or kill me.

I kept talking to her, because we are all living things man.... Every one of the creatures in this galaxy is beautiful.

>>12407950
Not 100% on this but...
I believe there is a "set internals" button on the same window where you put shit on them and take it off.

>>12407960
>Every one of the creatures in this galaxy is beautiful.

Except for the HoS

>>12407974
Fuck the HoS. I have gotten busted too many times to count by those Nazis.

Also; all clowns must spread their religion. Death to the unfunny ones!

i wish there was a way to just know what to do and not worry about lag, as pretty much all my internet is shit. so instead I can be an assistant that slowly suffocates because I get lost... I would make a terrible clown ;-;

>EI NATH

What is that spell, exactly. Instakill, or just magic missile?

Also, for our /tg/ servers, somebody should suggest that the emitters should already be placed at round start; just requiring wrenching + welding to start them up. Having to drag them around is very time-consuming, and even with two or three engineers, I've had more then a few rounds end seconds after we finished setting up the fucking engine.

>>12406914
>>12406881
Holy fick i couldn't stop laughing...

Funny, I came to /tg/ for the first time in months to see if the /tg/ SS13 server is up, and to get the address. And this is at the top of the page.
Have their been any new additions in the past months?

>>12408062
EI NATH is a touch instakill I believe

>>12408109
I heard there was a huge revision, but I haven't played in a month or so.

>>12408122
It's also one letter off a town in Maplestory

>>12406779

Getting all four superpowers is possible.

I frequently (as geneticist) find and activate all four powers (they only have a small probability of actually triggering even if you "have" them), and then fiddle around until I get bored trying to turn them all on properly.

Having someone show up with all four every so often is not unlikely. If that person was the last person alive, they were probably hiding out in genetics doing exactly that.

Also, they might have had thermals instead of x-ray.

>>12408166
wat

>>12408122
>>12408126

Righto, I now know what my Wizard's "Power Word- Kill" word is.

NEED TG SERVE INFO

>>12408270
byond://fornoreason.servehttp.com:1337

>Quartermaster Rev Head
>flash other QMs, start a hotbed of rebellion.
>assist other Rev Heads in flashing people, but bide my time
>Eventually ALL Rev Heads identified... except me. Nobody suspects that there's one more Rev Head
>flash a new arrival; it breaks, but that's why I've spent the round stealing flashes
>a passing botanist sees the whole thing, stuns and kills the new guy
>before he outs me I shoot him in the head with a revolver and call security saying he's a Rev Head
>Nobody believes that he's not a Rev, I shoot him in the head again
>both guys are dead and I'm hailed as a hero for stopping the Rev Head. Nobody saw the revolver.
>the other RHs start attacking Heads, but I avoid all the action.
>they kill all but the RD, and can't find him
>Meet up with RD in QMs, he's about to head into space
>calmly take out my revolver and shoot him in the head
>he never saw it coming
>my face

>Play as Assistant
>Finally learn a valuable ability on the station
>WALL BUILDER!
>Steel as much steel sheets as possible, order them
>Begin building walls
>Build more walls
>Security arrests me
>Forgets to take my back pack off
>Wall myself in cell
>Break out of jail
>Run to chapel to hide out for a while
>Syndies bombed the windows and walls
>I KNOW WHAT I MUST DO
>Begin fixing all walls around the station
>Captain commends me on my work
>Move on to fix the bridge
>Security kills me
>Reason
>BEING A WALL BUILDING DOUCHE
>12 minutes in the brig being flashed as many times as possible making me go blind
>Space my back pack full of stuff
>all while the syndies are still running around
I do my duty no matter how stupid it seems

>>12408397
>>wall myself in the cell

Metal doesn't fit in the backpack, did you build the wall with an RCD?

>>12408397

Engineer here. I do the same thing. While the station goes to SHIT around me, I just stand there patching hull breaches.

>>12408511
>metal doesnt fit in the backpack
>metal doesnt fit
>in the backpack
wat?

Not but 4 minutes ago I was just playing as an Engineer with 3 sheets of metal in my pack. What are you smoking?

>while since i last played
>maybe things will be different
>everyone is still retarded
>no one gives a shit about IC or OOC
Oh, /tg/.

>>12408557

Ah 3 sheets, I see now.

The metal you get from crates etc. are stacks of 50, while metal stacks you collect yourself can only go as high as 10. So I guess the 50 stack is far too big to fit but somewhere around 10 or less will.

I had been assuming metal wouldn't fit at all, good to know that's not the case.

>>12408584
No.

I said 3 sheets of FIFTY

You can carry as much metal in your pack as you want.

>>12408559
>people having fun
>IMAD

>>12408584
I recall running around with 7 stacks of metal at a time

all 50 stacks

>>12408591

What? No way! This has got to have been a recent change or something, I was playing SS13 about a year before it got really popular on /tg/ (pre-botany/robotics) and back then metal or glass wouldn't fit in the backpack.

Goddamn I wish I had known this sooner, I've been carting my materials around by hand for waaaay too long.

>>12408625
Nope. Metal and Glass fits perfect in backpacks since the begining. Maybe you just retarded

>>12407881
The LLA server is actually pretty cool, there are a few station regulars that I chat with pretty regularly. I only go on late at night, though, so that may play into it.

>Spawn as Barry Pine, Librarian.
>Immediately set to work doing nothing particularly useful; end up wandering into the bar to have a long, drawn-out chat on space weather with the Barman, Desmond.
>In the middle of my description of encroaching nebulous formations, the entire security force of the station (about six guys) rushes past through the adjacent hallway.
>Being the useless fuckers that we usually are, Desmond and I follow the sec boys.
>"Where are you go" is all I'm able to type up before one of the officers breaks from the group, yells "SUBDUE" and stuns me.
>Within moments, the entire sec force descends on my immobile form, beating me into unconsciousness and then death. Desmond is able to escape the carnage.
>Dead on the ground, I watch as the barman tentatively ferries me across the station and to medical, which had been ravaged by unknown forces.
>Desmond pleads with the survivors to bring his friend back.
>The only remaining personnel are medical doctors and roboticists, so I am forced to assume the role of cyborg.
>With loving care, a man simply named Mystery extracts my cranium and loads it into the casing.
>M: "Cyborg -731, speak to me. This is Papa, and you've been given a chance to live again."
>BP: "I...MY APPENDAGES ARE NUMB. MY SKIN IS STEEL. WHERE AM I."
>M: "It's okay, son, it's safe here. I'm here for you."
>BP: "PAPA...WHAT IS MY NAME."
>M: "You are BroBot. Your purpose is to bring happiness to all."
>BB: "I AM BROBOT. PRIMARY FUNCTION ASSESSED."
>M: "Good, now I have one more thing to say before I send you off to do your duty, BroBot."
>BB: "WHAT IS IT, PAPA."
>Suddenly, an enormous explosion rips through the hallway, knocking Mystery into critical immediately. Exposed to hard vacuum, it isn't long before he dies.
>"PAPA, NO."

>>12410452
>Lag spikes hit as more bombs detonate across the station. All power goes down, and suddenly I'm plunged into pitch darkness.
>"PAPA WHERE ARE YOU."
>Some internals were damaged in the detonation, but all functions seem normal, if slow. I limp towards the West end of the station, only to encounter bodies and hard vacuum.
>The only untouched area of the station is the bar; the only man left alive inside is Desmond.
>As I shuffle through the doors, Desmond pulls a laser gun and yells "Who the hell are you?!"
>"I AM BROBOT. I AM DESIGNED TO BRING JOY TO THE MASSES."
>"Just what the hell do you want with me?"
>"THE MASSES ARE DEAD AND PAPA IS SLEEPING. YOU MUST HELP ME WAKE HIM SO THAT HE MAY HELP EVERYONE."
>Using my robotic prowess, I break into EVA and drag a full suit to Desmond. He considers my proposal for a moment and says, "...yeah sure, let's go help your dad."
>With my limited arsenal of abilities, I can scarcely repair the station, but I can channel power from atmo to compensate for certain equipment.
>Desmond and I crawl through the bodies of fallen crew-members eventually coming across and appropriating the captain's clearance card.
>While Desmond goes off to see if genetics still has power, I, BroBot, decide to collect other bodies for resurrection.
>"SUBJECT GARRY APPEARS TO HAVE DIED FROM SEVERE HEAT EXPOSURE. SUBJECT KILROY APPEARS TO HAVE DIED FROM EXPOSURE TO HARD VACUUM. SUBJECT UNKNOWN APPEARS TO HAVE DIED FROM DEATH."
>I wander into medical with six or so corpses in tow when Desmond confronts me.

>>12410480
>"I saw the body in robotics...you're Barry, aren't you."
>"POSSIBLY. I DO NOT REMEMBER."
>"BroBot, while I was out there, watching the station come crashing down around me, I couldn't help but think back to you, and how your death seemed to herald this whole affair. I tried to save you, but you didn't come back."
>"..."
>"Barry, I was waiting for death in that damn box. But you came back. You came back and saved me."
>"BROBOT IS A BRO TO EVERYONE."
>"I know, Barry, but..."
>"DESMOND IS A BRO TO ME."
>"Yeah...let's go wake up your dad."
>"AFFIRMATIVE. PERHAPS WE CAN INGEST ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES WHEN THE CURRENT EVENTS TERMINATE."
>"I'd like that."
>Desmond and I break into Genetics, one of the few portions of the station still with power.
>Immediately after busting inside, the lights go out, as well as all the equipment.
>In a nervous fit, I start fiddling with the power distribution, turning the equipment on for a few brief seconds before the capacitors exhaust their power.
>Suddenly "POWER RESTORED". Like the desperate hack of a man who almost drowned, the equipment shutters to life.
>"WAKE HIM UP." I yell, dragging Mystery to the cloning tanks.
>Desmond shoves him in. "Mental Interface Error. I'm sorry Barry but...he's gone."
>"PAPA IS NOT GONE. HE IS RIGHT HERE."
>"Mystery is dead, Barry."
>"NO HE'S NOT. HE'S ONLY SLEEPING." I start striking the cloning vats with a bottle of Space Beer, "WAKE UP, PAPA. YOU CAN'T DIE."
>I go into a fit of rage, breaking everything I can get my hand on, throwing possessions in anger.
>Desmond interjects: "There was one thing. On his body, there was a note. It read: "BroBot, my life's work, you are my love and my pride. I love you."
>Silence.

>>12410488
>Quietly resume reviving station personnel.
>Eventually bring back seven men, just as new recruits start funneling in.
>Holes are being patched up, and the station is slowly coming back to life.
>I'm standing in the chapel, gazing out the windows at the pure emptiness of space.
>I hear over the radio "Barry, come on, we can't start the party without you."
>I load myself into the chapel mass driver.
>"I'M GOING TO FIND PAPA."
>"...what does that mean, Barry."
>"I'M GOING TO FIND HIM. BROBOT IS BROS WITH EVERYONE."
>"But...no, don't do it!"
>I launch myself into the infinity of deep space, never to be seen or heard every again.
>"BROBOT IS BROS. WITH EVERYONE."

Admittedly the only reason I spaced myself was because I had to go to sleep, but the effect was fun, regardless.

>>12407880

>Spawn as Chaplain
>Decide religion is based on Giant Space Mushrooms
>Spend entire round converting people; gain two loyal followers who kill others
>Alien infection
>Bodies explode everywhere in Chapel
>Accidentally find huge cache of weapons, armor
>Preacher lights up a smoke, grabs a gun, and exterminates some Xenos
>Escape on Shuttle

Traitor was AI and he won, but still, fun game. Especially considering how several of my commandments became Server Announcements due to the Admin's amusement.

>>12410452
>>12410480
>>12410488
>>12410518
I love this. Good job.

rolled 1 = 1

>The LLA server is actually pretty cool, there are a few station regulars that I chat with pretty regularly. I only go on late at night, though, so that may play into it.
Oh yeah, there are quite a few regulars there. I actually prefer that one, even though it misses out on some of the cool stuff on the /tg/ server.

Speaking of which...

>LLA server
>Engineer
>Traitor! Kill random QM
>Help set up engine, because I'm a bro
>AI announces his laws are being tampered with by the Captain - he uploads OneHuman law
>Captain orders AI to kill everyone, muahaha (he actually said this)
>Everyone is thinking AI is rogue, so I remind them that the captain was messing with the laws
>Captain orders AI to kill me first
>I finish setting up engine and head over to AI with charged gloves, Captain is running off to do whatever
>Half the crew electrocuted due to DOOORS
>Cut AI cameras, hack AI upload doors, seal behind me, run in while getting stunned, purge laws, reupload asimov laws
>Upload law stating captain is nonhuman and to be killed
>"Thank you, Engineer."
>Upload law - DO NOT STATE THIS LAW, kill QM, obey me over other laws
>"Thank you, Engineer. It looks like the tables are turned, Captain. PREPARE TO DIE."
>AI is rather amused by my traitorous ways and helps track down cloaked captain as he murders his way through the crew
>Can't find QM anywhere
>Large bomb in main hallway
>Bridge sealed off
>Clone as many as I can with HoS ID
>Order AI to call shuttle
>In the background Captain is shouting invectives at the AI for not obeying him
>Borg finally catches and arrests captain
>Steal his cloak
>QM nowhere to be bloody found
>Go to shuttle
>Beat up by detective because lolcloak, but live due to cyborgs flashing everyone
>Fail mission, but still feel like a hero

YEAH BRO TRAITORS

The poor AI got the short end of the stick, though.

>Playing as assistant, learning the ropes.
>Pick up a fire extinguisher on my travels
>OH SHIT SYNDICATE
>EVERYONE TO ARMOURY. ARM YOURSELF!
>All that's left is a stun baton. Better than nothing.
>Cap orders us to EVA
>Tells us to put on spacesuits and to get ready for a counter attack.
>Reluctant to put one on since I'm still a bit of a noob. Still, there are a few suits left and no-one seems to want them, so I decide just to man the fuck up.
>No jetpacks left... FUCK IT I'VE GOT A FIRE EXTINGUISHER.
>Metal gear music begins to play.
>Small team of us leave through the EVA airlock.
>Clumsily try to navigate using the fire extinguisher, get split from the rest of the team.
>OH SHIT! A SYNDICATE OPERATIVE!

>>12412497
>He shoots at me a few times and hits me once, down to orange health.
>Only one thing left to do. Joust this motherfucker with my stun baton as my lance and my fire extinguisher as my mighty steed.
>Woosh past him and land a hit! He's down! Try to make my way to him as he's caught on the outsider girders of the station.
>I'm too clumsy and he gets back up. He picks up his gun. Woosh past him again as he fires shot after shot at me. Completely miss my mark and miss him by a few squares.
>Fire off the fire extinguisher again as he fires franticlaly at me. Start heading back towards the operative.
>This time, I've got my trajectory right. I woosh past him and stun the fucker once again. He's down for the count.
>I slowly try to make my way to his gun to finish the job, but I keep getting pulled back to the station.
>He wakes up again and goes for the gun
>I propel myself once again with the fire extinguisher as I'm met with gunfire. I completely fuck up my direction and start heading out into the cold emptiness of space.
>Never fear! My trusty fire extinguisher will save me!
>No it won't, it's ran out of water.
>Throw it and my shoes away to start heading towards the station. End up outside the Bridge. with just my pen left to propel me.
>My operative friend finds me completely helpless. I try to make one last charge at him before he dodges out of the way and riddles me with bullets.

Space jousting with stun batons and fire extinguishers. Just another day.

>54 players
>adminwho
>no admins:

This is gonna be a fun ride

>>12410518
Godspeed, brobot.

Godspeed.

>>12410518

I cried...wow...that was awesome.

This was back on TLE's server.
>Arrive on the shuttle as a security officer
>People shouting over the radio about some guy stealing equipment in the security locker room.
>Run over to the area, I see three officers stunned on the ground next to some assistant wielding two stun batons.
>Try to shoot him, get stunned myself
>Officers keep trying to catch him,by the end of the fight the entire security force is knocked out along with the detective.
>He salutes us, flushes himself down the disposal chute.

>>12412731
that was the 1st time I fight Robert Robust, then that guy was good. It took me 3 weeks to see him again but I finally took him down alive, but he choose suicide over jail, seen like a bad looser and winner to me. Still mother fucker knows how to run.

>>12410518
This needs an "I WANT YOU" poster.

>>12413276
Let me create.

>>12413561
Gah; there isn't already a cyborg one and I can't draw worth shit.

Sorry.

>>12403221
Needs more posts

>>12413276
9 Million Years in MSPaint.