What's that? This encounter's CR is way too high for you?

That's okay, my DMPC will take care of it.

Wasnt Asuka's entrance in the series and the new movies the most coordinated epic surprise attack ever though?
If anything she rolled a character with like 5 willpower and fellowship.

>>12311732

Asuka's the combat munchikin.

Shinji is a really good roleplayer, as he got increasingly badass as the series progressed- But not without remaining fucked-up, unstable and distinctly pathetic.

Rei is played by THAT GUY.

Think about it.

No, seriously.

>>12313478
Rei didn't get underfoot enough to be THAT GUY, because THAT GUY seems to love bringing everything to a screeching halt at least a half dozen times per session. She's just played by someone who doesn't grasp roleplaying and thinks it's rollplaying.

>>12313478
Kaworu is a DMPC?

>>12313489

True. Kaworu seems moar like that guy, though, as he has his ridiculously overpowered character; YES I AM A HALF-ANGEL- and wants to bring the game to a screeching halt.

Okay, it's more complicated than that, but it's more funny this way. He probably flipped the table and stormed out once the die-hard roleplayer murdered his ass.

>>12313464
The rebuild of evangelion did fix this issue. Asuka did get a badass moment before her development of inferiority started. Given that Rei and Shinji are *expunged* she will probably have a very prominent role in the third movie.

However, in the original series, she is a pile of contradictions. She doesn't enter a single combat situation without somehow fucking it up. Shinji shows himself to have far better coordination and ability to follow battle plans in the Both of You Dance Episode, her navigation and tactical skills are inferior to that of Rei, and the only angel she actually hit was zeruel, where she was quickly disarmed.

The End of Evangelion shows Asuka kicking some ass, but it was probably incidental that her character was said to be a combat ace because the scene only draws contrast to when she is brutally defeated.

Also, nobody with her attitude advances more than two years ahead academically. Psychological stability is a requirement for advancing even one year in Germany.

DM: So you're character description and your playing up to this point has been the noblest, most humane being in the universe?
Player: Yeah.
DM: And even in war you said he always tries to be only as violent as is absolutely necessary.
Player: That's right.
DM: I mean, you essentially made robot jesus here.
Player: What's your point?
DM: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" ??
Player: What? I'm roleplaying!

>>12313464
This, Asuka was just really really unlucky throughout the rest of the series.

OP's post is hilarious, though.

>>12313509
But he sacrificed himself willingly, and was pretty much one of the best roleplayers in the game.

I'm thinking it was the DM trying to fuck with the players' heads/steer the game back on track. Nothing to make you shit yourself like realizing that you buddied up with the most powerful angel EVAR and he's about to end the fucking world if you don't stab him in the face.

>>12313534
Unlucky my ass. Almost everything she suffers in the series is a result of being unintelligent and uncoordinated.

>>12313498

No he ended up dying. Not to mention dying without almost any fight. And he was introduced in like the last coherent episode. He'd have a chance had he shown up in the first episode, doing his thing, but as stands, he's nothing more then some strange phase the GM was going through. Misato on the other hand...

She's the lone survivor of a accident that claimed the lives of a couple hundred people and went on to kill half the worlds population. She's an alcholic and a rather shitty role model for the kids and she never gets fired or even called on it. She is unnaturally skilled with a pistol, and she survives a shootout with half a dozen JSSDF special forces grunts, all of whom were armed with automatic weapons. She almost always comes up with a brilliant plan to save the day, and she has a fucking penguin as a pet. TL;DR, Misato is the GMPC, or maybe that new girl from the rebuild series.

>>12311732

Evangelion is a little hard to classify. Gundam 00, mediocre as it is, is a lot more funny to do- The Meisters are effectively a party.

Setsuna: The combat munchikin. He's 14, can only relate to something that's fifteen feet tall and covered in guns, and his background is 'former child soldier'. NEXT!

Halleuijah: Played by two people- Or a guy who misses a lot of sessions, so he fades into the background a lot. When he's there, he's crazy awesome.

Lockon Stratos: Played a cool older guy, and probably a long-time roleplayer. So popular that they brought him back after he died the first time, and he was *still* fairly interesting.

Tieria Erde: You know Vaarsivus? From OOTS? This is the guy who didn't fill in the gender. Alternatively, played by a ca/tg/irl, who is tremendously frustrated that all those points in Electronics aren't worth shit. Compensates with big guns to make up for shitty combat skills.

In fact, just like a real game, Gundam 00's first season ends with a TPK! Realistic, too!

>>12313552
And overly aggressive. And too arrogant to recognize her own failings. It's kind of sad, really.

>>12313590

>and the first session ends with a TPK

I lol'd a little.

>>12313577
I'm pretty sure the only reason Gendo kept Misato around was because she kept Shinji around. She was just enough to attach to him and give him something to hold on to, but not enough to fix him. Without her, he'd be a lot more useless, or just berserk all the time, which causes collateral damage and pisses off SEELE.

>>12313577
>She's the lone survivor of a accident that claimed the lives of a couple hundred people and went on to kill half the worlds population.
>lone survivor
>kill half the world's population
Get your shit straight.

>She's an alcholic and a rather shitty role model for the kids and she never gets fired or even called on it.
Who in the series knows Shinji and cares enough about him to call her out?....

....

....

>She is unnaturally skilled with a pistol, and she survives a shootout with half a dozen JSSDF special forces grunts, all of whom were armed with automatic weapons.
Surviving a shootout is something I will give you. However, there is nothing unnatural about being a good shot. Characters can have strengths without being DMPCs.

>She almost always comes up with a brilliant plan to save the day
Almost always? I can only think of episode 6, and even then, it's not implied to be entirely her plan.

>>12313620

It's basically the DM throwing stuff at the players to do, but they simply prefer to fuck around and blow shit up instead. Also, Setsuna is totally uninterested in the tragic love story the DM had planned.

So in the end, the DM basically goes 'fuck it', and throws all sorts of shit at them. Thanks to creative planning and lucky die rolls, they wipe out the enemy army- And all get killed in the process.

Think about it. Only a PC would imagine flying out into space- After his Suit was ruined!- to shoot a laser cannon at the enemy.

Also, Graham turning up has a very 'ROCKS FALL EVERYONE DIES' moment, simply a dick move by a frustrated DM.

>>12313640
Isn't Misato having sex with Shinji?

>>12313521
>Also, nobody with her attitude advances more than two years ahead academically. Psychological stability is a requirement for advancing even one year in Germany.

On the other hand, when you're one of the only few people who can pilot the planet-saving mecha, they're more likely to let things slide. Other than that, I'm with you 110%

>>12313598
I've known far too many people like that in real life to find it anything other than infuriating. FUCKING ACCEPT THAT YOU'RE NOT PERFECT YOU BITCH! ACTUALLY LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES AND IMPROVE YOURSELF!

I was about to do one for Black Lagoon, but then I realized that the entire party would just be pretty solid roleplayers. Only notable thing would be that the /k/ommandess of the group and the non-combat player would be constantly throwing shit at each other over the table.

>>12313657
Unproven. In EoE she gives Shinji what she calls a "grown-up kiss" and says they'll do the rest later. Right before she pushes him into the elevator that will take him to Unit 01. So it's a fair bet they didn't do anything before then.

There's a hint of it back after Unit 00 self-destructs, and Shinji's even more depressed than usual. She offers to comfort him, in the best way she knows, but he just withdraws more.

>>12313657
The End of Evangelion suggests that she isn't. The last thing she says to Shinji after giving him his very first "adult kiss" is that they will "do the rest later." According to the laws of anime, this kills her.

>>12313667
And the sexual tension between them just frustrates everybody. "Just fuck already!" is said more than once.

"Okay, so what character are you going to play?"
"I'm a peasant named Kikuchiyo."
"You decided to play a peasant in a game set in feudal Japan? You do understand the problems this brings, right? Like not being allowed to carry weapons or stand up to those of higher birth."
"Yeah, see, he really wants to be a samurai, so he decided to become one. He got himself a false birth certificate and a sword and pretended to be a samurai."
"You have no ranks in bluff, though. And getting caught will most likely get you killed."
"He's not a very convincing liar. He mostly gets by on raw charisma."
"Also, I'm not exactly sure what kind of weapon you're using, because I'm pretty sure 'big-ass katana' isn't in the manual."
"Oh, it's a homebrewed weapon. Basically, Kikuchiyo carries around this giant two-handed sword to look like a badass."
"But he only has commoner levels. He doesn't have the skill to use a normal katana, much less a two-handed one. That has to be an exotic weapon at least, so you'll take a hell of a lot of penalties for using it."
"Like I said, he gets by on his charm."
"You do realize others will probably be pissed at how useless he is, don't you?"
"Goddamn it, he gets by on his charm!"
"Okay, so let me get this straight. You're playing a character with no levels in any kind of combat class, with no actual useful skills, who carries a sword he can barely lift, much less swing properly. Is that about right?"
"Well, when you put it that way, of course it'll sound bad!"
"You know what? I don't even care any more. Steve is playing some twinked out the ass ronin swordsman, and the rest of the characters are basically Paul's bitches for some reason."

Gundam Wing:

GM:Ok, let me see all your character sheets.
...
GM: God damnit, I should have known better than to start a campaign in San Francisco.

>>12313727
That guy's fucking hilarious. Especially as a steam-spouting mechanical man who loves kids. It's adorable.

>>12313738

I love you, in a bro/m/osexual way.

>>12313738
>start the campaign in San Fransisco
Macross Frontier?

Explains why Alto is so FABULOUS

Anakin Skywalker: THAT GUY. He’s the child of destiny – a super amazing prodigy amongst even the most powerful characters in the setting, and he’s still not happy with that. He constantly attempts to secure a ‘good end’ for his character, ripping and ripping at the plot so as to make sure that he’s the hero that saves the day and gets the girl. The DM responds to this by making the game seem just about centred on him to appease him, while trying to push him to be a better roleplayer by throwing his character into disappointing situations. Unfortunately, this process is slow, but by the time their new campaign begins and he starts playing his old character’s son, he’s gotten okay enough to at least not be obnoxious.

Obi-Wan: Solid roleplayer who enjoys combat just as much as interaction. Is constantly trying to point THAT GUY in the right direction, but eventually bends to the inevitable and decides he can’t put up with his shit anymore.

Padme: Non-combat, not actually very interested, only there because she’s dating THAT GUY.

"The old guy tells you you need to take the teleporter to the lower levels to get to the reactor."
"It's at the bottom of this shaft, right? I take off my grenade belt and drop it over the railling."
"... Goddammit, I spent 4 days planning the security systems around the engine room!"

>>12313794
Dammit, forgot my pic.

Everyone is min-maxers except for Jim.
Melfina's player really wanted to play Shadowrun, and took the Destined flaw to make up the points.
Aisha and Suzuka both wanted to play something where melee played a larger role; Suzuka is min-maxed successfully, whereas Aisha had to blow everything in exchange for absurd toughness.
Gene grabbed the biggest gun in the book and didn't read the fine print.

>>12313817
>and everything turned out better than expected

>>12313826
Oh, of course.

>>12313643
>She's the lone survivor of a accident that claimed the lives of a couple hundred people and went on to kill half the worlds population.
>lone survivor
>kill half the world's population

Lone survivor of the Katsuragi Experdition, the group that ended up poking Adam with the LoL and waking him up, then causing him to explode, sorry if I didn't clarify enough.

>She almost always comes up with a brilliant plan to save the day
>Almost always? I can only think of episode 6, and even then, it's not implied to be entirely her plan.

I assume you mean episode 7, with the whole snipe it beyond its range plan? She was the one who came up with most of the details on the plan. The MAGI may have done some of the calculations and stuff, but she did most of the legwork.

Then there's episode 8, where she has them sink the last two battleships in the UN fleet, on the off chance that they happen to sink at the PERFECT speed and angle to end up lodging themselves inside gaghiel's mouth so they can fire at it from within the AT field.

Then Episode 9, aka "Operation Dance Dance Revolution"

Episode 10, "Hey lets shove Unit two into a suit and have it go fight an angel in the middle of a dormant volcano!"

Episode 12. Hey guys I've got an awesome plan, we're gonna catch an angel that is falling from orbit so it doesn't kill us all!

"You do realize that those are rather hefty drawbacks, right? It might not be a good idea to have your character crippled, drug addicted, and unable to form healthy human relationships ALL AT THE SAME TIME."
"But look at all the extra points I get to spend in medical skill and charisma!"

>>12313727
And then Kikuchiyo was the best character in the campaign.

Also, I'm pretty sure Kyuzo is That Guy. A combat monster with no useful skills, little to no roleplaying skill and who constantly picks a fight with everyone.

Mortal in an oWoD game. Took every psychosis/dementia/solipsism/megalomania related flaw possible and used the resulting points to turn himself into an acrobatic melee monster. Nobody cares, though, because he's a bro who presents the character pretty well, and plays up all his ridiculus aspects for laughs.

DM: OK, what's your character?
Player: Human commoner, level 1.
DM: Errr, ok, you realize this is a high powered campaign, high fantasy, ri- wait, why does it say Weapon Proficiency: Everything?
Player: Took a flaw were I'm useless unless I've got a weapon. He's proficient with every military-purposed device, including vehicles and siege engines, and gains 20 levels in Fighter, with appropriate feats, as well as massive inherent stat, skill, and speed bonuses.
DM: Well, that sounds... better... wait, you have an intelligent weapon?
Player: Oh yeah, custom made Weapon of Legacy. Also, Steve over there is playing my character's girlfriend. She cast permanent Tongues on me because my character can't speak Common due to a flaw.
DM: ... Steve's character can't cast any spell except typeless massive damage, SoDs, and antimagic bullshit. What the hell.
Player: Yeah, you should see his flaws too.
DM: Damnit, why'd I ever allow flaws in the first place? Lemee see everyone else's sheets.
Players: Hee hee.
DM: Oh god dammit you're all little girl spellcasters with some type of neurosis. And Mike, WHAT is that denotation under your half-elf's weight say? 38 HH? And how the hell does she weigh 180 pounds if she's only 5'2" and "slim"?

DM-Allright guys we are gonna play a grim and gritty Pirate game where an evil fascist one world government controls most of the planet and make bloodthirsty pirates look good by comparison.Everyone better have a backstory with alot of tragedy and death

PC1-Im so sick of this WOD emo crap.Im gonna make Pirate Plasticman.I say we forgot all faggotry and go out for ADVENTURE!

PC2-That sounds pretty cool.I wanna weeaboo it up a bit though.I KNOW!Ill use THREE Katanas!Too weeaboo?Yeah your right ok then ill make him like Ash with 3 katanas instead of a boomstick

PC3-OMG you guys I got an idea thats SO COOL.I think im gonna make a kawaii pretty boy.Oh he can cook and he smokes and he fights by breakdancing..My dreamy bishe will flirt with ALL the girls too hehe ^_^

PC4-Oh man I still wanna play a Druid.......Screw it lemme see those rules on Zoan types again.Ok this could work and ill take the small disadvantage since I can just shift out of that form anyways.ill add the freak disadvantage and make him....Hmm a blue nosed Reindeer and gullible should be fine too.What do you mean a combat monster is too one-dimensional?Ok ok ill spend some points and make him a doctor then happy?

(With credit to Pink's livestream) Okay Steve, I told you we were running a no magic combat heavy campaign in a version of northern Europe that looks suspiciously like a clearcut in Port Alberni, and you rolled up an arab poet with no skill ranks in any weapon he's going to find, who can't even speak to the other party members, and who'll have to take all kinds of penalties for just plain not knowing their culture. Are you testing me Steve?

>>12313881
Fuck yes

>>12313866

FUCK YES BACCANNO!

But Isn't EVERYBODY apart from two or three people in the train actually just normal mortals? Cultists and Gangsters in large amounts for sure, but mortals nonetheless.

Max: Ok, GM, I'm ready!

GM: Shoot.

Max: Ok, I'm an exchange student, new to the high school. I'm kind of quiet, and I like listening to music.

GM: All right, not bad.

Max: Also, I found this neat little feat in a third party source book. It allows me to carry a whole bunch of my famiiars...

GM: Personas.

Max: Whatever you fluff them as, bro. I can carry a lot of them. Also, my parents were killed, and it's Erica's character's fault.

GM: Wait, what?

Max: Also, she wants to play a Warforged. Is that OK?

>>12313892

"Jim I swear to god if you make one more Hana Hana no Mass Handjob crack I am going to feed you to a goddamn shark"

>>12313911
I hope you're BEARy preBEARed for this unBEARable BEAR of a battle!

"So you're from the, and I quote, 'most feared race of warriors in the known universe', is that right?"
"Yes."
"And yet your flaws include dying from blood poisoning every time you're cut and the wound isn't immediately treated, you enter something called 'hyper rage' every now and then, and he insists on using a sword in a sci-fi setting?"
"It's a qualta blade. A sword that turns into a laser gun."
"A pulse rifle, yes. Unfortunately, it's pretty archaic, seeing as how you insisted on this qualta blade being a 'century old relic'."
"I have a tongue that can knock people out."
"Yeah, that's really useful in a setting where everyone has pulse weapons. You'll spend a lot of time within 5 feet of an enemy."
"At least I can walk! Phil's character is stuck to the ship! Hell, he doesn't even have a name! What are we supposed to call him? Pilot?"

>>12313881
DM: OK, you realize you're the ONLY tank in the entire party, right? And it's like a ration of 5 chicks to 1 guy.
Player: I don't see the problem.
DM: A singular male tank in the middle of a pack of squishy high-charisma female casters.
Player: ... oh. Awkward.

"Look we need to talk to you about your DMing"

"What about it?"

"Well half of the recent fights have just been you describing what the DMPC's are doing, the BBEG is incredibly broken, for some reason whenever Steve looses a fight you give him 6 levels and a ton of bonus skills and it's just generally not fun anymore"

BBEG who the min-maxing party just steamroller right through with minimal effort, forcing the ST to come up with another BBEG, one who has the same abilities as one of the min-maxers and he can't actually die.

Somehow, the players then manage to kill this new BBEG as well. Although the encounter is a bit more impressive.
ST calls it a day, kicks the table and leaves with some bullshit twist ending where the Vampire player dies.
The players decide to ressurect the campaign a few months later with a considerably larger group of players and the final boss fight is against the living Idea of Dracula plus everybodies worst imagined fears made manifest.

It is the best campaign ever.

>>12313940

I wanna be the creepy guy playing Zhann

>>12313881

...they all had some type of neurosis? Examples, please, because you just piqued my interest in a harem animu.

DM: So your character is a Level 1 Fighter? That is pretty underpowered for the campaign.

Player: Yeah, but I have a suit that gives me +200 constitution, +20 Strength and Dexterity, and comes with dozens and dozens of other features.

DM: You trip on a rock, roll a d20 for everyone of your suit's modules.

FIREFLY / SERENITY:
Mal: The main anchor of the group. The guy who knows everyone and has invited everyone. Generally a decent bloke, balanced between roleplay and rollplay.
Zoe: Mal's bro. A little less interested in the game, the main reason he comes along is because Mal insists and because of Wash's player.
Wash: Quiet, fairly shy gamer girl. Was pushed into the role that no one else wants and usually stays out of the picture. Non-interactive, unoptimized but Zoe's player's into her and tries to bring her into the picture a bit more.
Inara: GIIIRL GAMER! One of the more irritating members of the group. Always tries her best to have the most exotic and seductive and unique character, even if it means doing very, very strange things crunchwise. I mean, bows in space?
Jayne: Possibly that guy. A fucking master of crunch who has been gaming with Mal for a long time. He obviously made the most comat-heavy character possible and he always has an initial hatred for newcomers to the group, but he does honestly try to roleplay, despite everything.

Continued.

DM: Ok guys, what are you playing?
Sally: I'm playing a hard nosed business woman who took the short flaw, but also gains a bonus to carry concealed weapons.
DM: Nice. Melissa?
Mel: I'm playing a coworker of sally's, except I took the freakishly huge flaw and naive flaw to make sure I was able to carry my non-lethal weaponry.
DM: o...k. Vince, let me see your sheet...wait, you're playing an immortal half-angel astral cyborg, with a special custom gun that becomes part of you to make a huge laser cannon, and you have a concealed machine gun in your other arm? DAMMIT vince, I told you this was a COWBOY WESTERN GAME! Christ, I hope Wally can save this group with his wandering holy man...

>>12313940

Let me see your dice... there is no way Steve hasn't been faking this guy's bluff and intimidate rolls.

>>12313988
Kaylee: Another girl gamer, although slightly less overt about it than Inara but far from being as shy as Wash's player. Next to Mal, she's the one who pulls in players. Generally, she doesn't give a shit about crunch or hell, even about roleplaying. She just wants to have fun.
Book: You know that person in your group who inexplicably has been through and has seen more than anyone else in the group every will in their combined lives? That one person who is an unstoppable fountain of knowledge, teaching you something new every time you talk to him and enthralling you whenever he speaks? Yeah, Book's that man. He's also the group's back-up GM and often gives the main GM advice beneath the table. Doesn't really do much whenever he plays but whenever he does end up roleplaying, *everyone* stops to listen.
Simon: Kaylee's boyfriend. Not really in RPGs and still learning the mechanics, but he's an okay roleplayer, despite Jayne giving him a hard time often, IC and OOC. To make matters worse, he had to invite his little brother...
River: The other candidate for that guy, or "that kid". He demanded to be taken along and Simon just kind of gave in. He's always screaming for special treatment and whenever he roleplays whatsoever, the rest of the group groans and facepalms at him. His character seems to change with the latest anime that he has been watching.

>>12313924
Wrong Persona game, bro.

But Teddy is totally That Guy. Slows down the plot, doesn't help out until halfway through the campaign, whines all the goddamn time, and makes a habit out of screwing up any roleplaying opportunities between party members.

>>12313957

DM: You didn't complain last time I did that.

Player: We were 12, we didn't know any better. Plus you would occaisionally let us have some cool moments, like the time you let my character absorb that guy and take on BBEG.

>>12313990

"I'm giving you the non violent trait. You're not allowed to kill anyone, even by accident."

"Oh you son of a... HE'S A GUNFIGHTER!"

"Deal with it"

"What the fuck, Steve, there is no way your bluff and stealth skills are that high."
...
"Goddamnit, how many points are Alcoholic, Borderline Retarded, and Asshole worth?"

>>12314050
Derp, forgot pic

GM: okay Jim how about your guy...Oh FUCK YOU JIM!
Jim:What?
GM: You cannot have +25 to int, cha, and every knowlage ability.
Jim: But look I dont have any leathal weapons and I'm a pasicfist. And I've got the whole dark past thing.

DM: “Jim, I’m not sure where you’re going with this. This isn’t really a high-tier setting, but mostly everyone you encounter is gonna be able to kick your ass through three walls.”
JIM: “Don’t worry, it’s all cool. Look at my charisma, and take a glance at the Tsukihime sourcebook for the Tohno Gland Merit...”
DM: “Oh, right, well… oh Jesus Christ Jim, what have you done? Most of the PCs are female! The NPCs too! I’m not sure I can allow this…”
JIM: “But me and Jess pretty much based our characters’ entire background on it!”

>>12313924

Which reminds me:

GM: Ok, we're playing a new game. No, we're not continuing the last one.

Erica: But I think we really developed my character in that extra session you ran, that campaign set ten years later was fun and Max always wanted to see what it was like to play a gir---

GM: WE WILL NEVER SPEAK OF THAT SESSION, CAMPAIGN, OR ANY FURTHER GAMES AGAIN. Ok, I did make some new house rules for the system, so let's just hear some character ideas.

Max: Quiet guy. But his parents AREN'T dead, and he has a broadsword.

Jane: I want to play a Warrior Woman, then!

GM: This is still a modern setting, guys, goddamnit.

Erica: Can I be a bear?

GM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

>>12313940
"Look, Greg, the others wanted me to talk to you about something."
"Why? What did I do?"
"Well, it's just that your character... is kind of creepy."
"Chiana's a free spirit! It says right so on her character sheet!"
"Yeah, and don't get me wrong, you're an excellent roleplayer. It's just that, you know, they're having a bit of a problem with the whole tralk thing."
"What? She's a woman with needs. You didn't complain when Bob kept hitting on Sarah."
"Yeah, but there's a difference between two players creating a romance between their characters as the campaign progresses and hitting on at least one NPC in every single place you visit, pretending to be a sex slave on multiple occasions, constantly hitting on Steve's character, having implied lesbian sex with Sarah's character, fucking Bob's character on a constant basis, and then his son!"
"I don't see the problem. This is supposed to be an adult game."
"It's getting kind of creepy, so could you tone it down a little. The other guys are starting to think you're just doing this to act out your own fetishes in the game."

>>12313976
Maybe not major mental fuckups, most of them are subtle.
Louise - Inferiority complex tsundere
Kirche - Slut with a slight mother complex
Siesta - Aggressively Sexual
Montomorency - Perfectly normal, no interest in main protagonist whatsoever
Henrietta - Lost wincest love of life, tries to steal replacement from childhood best friend
Tabitha - Rei/Yuki clone, dad dead, mom literally insane, hence emotionally dull.
Tiffania - So innocent it hurts, massive massive tits.

There are a few more mostly minor females.

DM: Okay so Tom's being creepy again and made a female monk with "Double DD's barely contained in her crop top", Chuck's made his fighter with a bionic gun-arm, Haylees made her cleric/prostitute...

Haylee: Flower seller!

DM: Right. Her little sister is currently writing up her character but it might take a while...

Little Sister: I'm a ninja!

Tom: We could be ninjas?

DM: I am never letting you be a ninja again Tom, especially after that Mai Shiranui creepiness you did last game. Anyway, what did you do Chris.

Chris: Uh, I picked a fullblade fighter who's an elite corporate supersoldier rebel with amnesia and superhuman abilities due to magic exposure.

DM: An amnesiac fullblade again?

Chris: He wasn't an amnesiac last time, he was just crazy thinking someone else had killed his father when it was actually him just repressing the memories. I'm still peeved at you turning him into the BBEG at the end you know.

DM: I've had enough of your lip bitch, you're character WASN'T a supersoldier, he just likes to think he is, everybody in the party knows because Tom is now your childhood friend.

Chris: The fuck?

Wait a second here. Simon is playing a little kid with horns, and Mandy is playing a girl with magical powers, but not a single attribute at even average values? And neither character speaks the same language. This is going to be the worst campaign ever.

DM: ... oh god what. This is the last time I ever allow you to make a Gestalt character, this fighter/rogue/urban ranger/ninja is grotesquely overpowered.

>>12314149
>Cleric/Prostitute
>FLOWER SELLER

I have a doujinshi about that...

>>12314208
Gm: So were gonna do a one shot. You'll probably be dead with the fist fight man, fair warning.
Player: Bring it.
GM: So you're a level 1 Ranger, with a horse as your pet? Man this is going to end fast.

>>12313667
Hm, you're pretty spot on. Only thing I can think of is that Dutch's player won't let anybody except the GM see his character sheet and Rock's player got on everybody's nerves with his speaking too much, moments of morality and "I hide" actions during combat. At first, that is. Then a few natural 20s on Diplomacy and Bluff rolls made everyone happy.

>>12314241
>first fight

fixed!

>>12314248
Rock, sadly, never really managed to recapture that one moment of utter distilled WHAT THE HOLY SCREAMING SHIT badassery he pulled off in the very first encounter.

He did progressively get less and less annoying, though, and ended up a pretty damn cool guy.

"...SHIT DID WE EVEN REMEMBER TO ROLL ANY DICE?"

>>12314149
> female monk with "Double DD's barely contained in her crop top"

In the original FF7, Aeris had bigger tit-polygons than Tifa did. just throwing that out there.

My character is a teenaged master thief who drowns in chicks. He looks like a human with a tail, but he's actually an artificially created alien angel of death with hidden powers who is supposed to destroy the world so that the souls of this world can be used to repopulate his own world. Also, his brother is the world's most powerful mage and rides around on a giant dragon and his creator rides around on the most powerful airship in the world and killed all the summoners with his death laser.

DM: ...fuck fine. The fucking Devil appears and says that he's going to eat your souls.

Rick: RAAAAAAIIIIILROOOOOOAAAD
Tom: No wait! My Bard challenges him to a contest, if we can play a better song than he can he has to leave.

DM: Roll for diplomacy. The Devil rolls sense motive at 32.

Tom: Okay, using this feat, my Cha bonus of 4, that feat that lets me double my bonus for one action and my diplomacy score of 10 I roll... a 59.

DM: Fuck. Fine, the Devil agrees to your terms, brings out an electric guitar and plays. He does so incredibly. His cha plus his play instrument skill comes to a total roll of 72. Beat that.

Rick: My character aid's Tom's attempts, that's a plus 15 right off.

Tom: My character uses his Play instrument skill of 15, I use that feat that doubles the effectiveness of my playing, I add my cha skill.
Rick: I also play my musical instruments whilst doing so, that adds a +2 to his Cha and his next dice roll for a 4+
Tom: right [rolls] Okay, this totals 65, if we both use the heavenly chorus feat we get an additional plus 10 to 75.

DM: What the? How did you both get the Heavenly Chorus feat? Are your characters angels?

Tom and Rick: NAY, WE ARE BUT MEN!

"Finally, that campaign's over. So tired of over-the top action and everyone gaining ten levels at stupid times like the middle of combat. I'll get a down on his luck college student home in the country. Oh, japan? sure, why not."
"Alright, what does everyone else want to play?"
"SUPERVILLAIN SPACE PIRATE"
"SPACE COPS LOOKING FOR HER"
"FUCK YOU TIM AND FRED"
"PRETTY ALIEN PRINCESS WITH TREES BECAUSE TREES ARE AWESOME"
"THE BESTEST MAD SCIENTIST EVER"
"Well, Eric got his concept in first, so I'll keep to his section of the setting..."
"Space pirates, mad scientists-
"THE BESTEST MAD SCIENTIST"
-alien princesses, and space cops in rural japan."

*Why do I even game with these people again?*

>>12314293
You know, when you put it that way, Zidane was ridiculous, even for a Final Fantasy character.

>>12314293
I'll let you do it, but your character doesn't know about anything but the tail until I have an NPC tell him about it.

>>12314299
A far better situation would be a system with exploding dice where they just keep rolling ridiculously well, seeing as how they "couldn't remember the greatest song in the world, no, this is just a tribute".

>>I'll let it slide, but know that you will never be useful in combat

Seems like butthurt Rei/Mari-fag as GM.

>>12314299
Ye gods, I hate that fucking band.

>>12314302
When you put it like that, Tenchi Muyo! becomes Way Better Than It Sounds.

Actual interesting character drama? Yes please.

Yeah, no way are you getting to play this character. He can regenerate from his own blood, summon everyone he's ever killed, has super strength, super speed, a ridiculously overpowered gun, and is immortal to boot!

GM: "So you basically made a character who was allegedly a pacifist, yet constantly gets into violent situations, is totally twinked for combat, and has a "flaw" which causes him to fly into a psychotic rage, thus negating the pacifism? Fuck this. Just for that, EVERYONE hates, and wants to kill you"
Player: "Really? EVERYONE?"
GM: "Yeah, literally everyone you meet will at LEAST be wary of you, if not actively hate and fear you."

DM: Look, I just don't think you've picked the right sort of character for the Dread Pirate prestige class, what about swashbuckler?

Guy: Pirate or nothing.

DM: Fine, but what about the rest of these stats? No your Cha is average, str, dex and con are all no higher than 8, your Int isn't much better, you're Wis is shockingly abysmal, the only thing you have to your name is the ability to hold your breath for [calculates] about 10 minutes.

Guy: Sweet!

DM: Look, are you SURE you don't want to reroll your stats?

Guy: Nah.

[Guy then proceeds to solve all problems with his own deductive reasoning, infuriating the DM with an endless stream of ingenius plans. Including managing to trick the DM into thinking that insult sword fighting was his idea.]

Um, Steve, why have you written "manly as hell" across your character sheet and nothing else?

>>12314353

FUCK YES

*a million solved puzzles later*
"So I get to the shaman?"
"I don't even care anymore."
"C'mon bro, this is awesome! Stay focused."
"Fuck you. It's root beer. Fucking root beer. I'm going to get plastered now."

Players: Uh, why is the BBEG of this really creepy thrash campaign where you forced us to play as girls just Ians character in a skirt?

DM: Uh.

>>12314354
FUCK YES

>>12314234
Yes, we've all seen it and very nice it is too.

DM: Alright, Steve. You've managed to use your charisma to get inside the Anarchist hideout for the meeting. You have three major ringleaders right in front of you along with Gregory who's just finished his speech to the chief Anarchists. If you don't do something soon, he's going to go off and join up with Sunday.
Steve: Hmm. I challenge Gregory.
DM: What?
Steve: The men in the room are hardened Anarchists right? Gregory's speech contained a lot that I could challenge. 'We are not murderers' for example. Then I'm going to stand for the election to Thursday myself.
DM: Do you have any idea how high you would have to roll to convince all three men to listen to you and then to elect you? Do you even have the knowledge needed to do this?
Steve: I've got a high perform and knowledge: rhetoric, not to mention my character's job is to find out about anarchists.
DM: So let me get this straight. Instead of dealing with this hideout with all these munitions and some key ringleaders, you want to let it all stay and go on your own to the High Anarchist Council where you will no doubt be found out, taken outside and shot?!
Steve: Yes, that's about right. Do you want me to make a speech? I've got a good one to counter Greggy's.
DM: No, it's fine. All right. Roll twice for each of the head Anarchists. Once to convince them that Gregory shouldn't be elected and once to get them to elect you. You'll need to succeed on all three.
Steve: Alright. Here it goes.
DM:...
Steve: So?
DM: ...should never have approved that fucking Syme character.

>>12314337
Nah, he's totally a DMPC.
The real players were Seras, Integra, Walter, and Alexander.
Seras' player just went along with it and got to shoot hugeass guns, so that was fine.
Integra's player got moral decisions to make about releasing monsters, as well as badass leadership moments.
Walter's got to play the usual backstabbing rogue, but didn't do anything for most of the game because he was too busy tittering over having betrayed them all already.
Anderson's got cheesed at the focus of the game, built a combat monster, and unsuccessfully tried to take out the DMPC.

Somebody do The Hobbit

GOD DAMNIT LADS I SAID THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A GOOD-ALIGNED PARTY

"Okay, really, I don't mind you taking all those extra feats with the Mute disadvantage and the whole Vow of Righteousness and whatnot, half of them don't even help you out anyway.
And no, I don't mind you playing a chick. The rest of the party's a bunch of lunatics anyway. I think you're the least crazy of the whole group.
But...really...the whole modded Sunbeam at-will. I gotta ask WHY you wanted that."

"It'll come in handy later. Trust me."

>>12314125
“What the hell, Jess?
“What?”
“Well, this character, she seems to have no social skills, and this is a highly social campaign…”
“Yea, pretty much.”
“And I see a whole bunch of psychological Flaws here…”
“Yep.”
“And you’ve dumped all these free points on those Mystic Eyes things from the Tsuki sourcebook…”
“Is there a problem?”
“Well… I guess it’s balanced. The feedback rule should keep you from murdering everything. I hope you realize that your low social skills and Flaws are gonna keep you at arms length from the rest of the party, though.”
“Actually, I’ve paid for the Void Origin trait, which means there’s no feedback and she can deal damage against ethereal, material, and conceptual objects. Also, Jim’s character is already totally in love with her at the start of the campaign. It’s all in our backgrounds.”
“Alright, pack up. You're all going home. I’m gonna... rethink some stuff.”

>>12314401
YOU FORGOT PIP YOU FAGGOT.

>>12314398
>Suddenly, Chesterton
I love you so much. Could you do Father Brown too?

>>12314468
Fucker is a badarse.

And Swedish royalty, judging by the name.

>>12314398
that fucking Syme character, he ruined my chances... and then they kicked me out of the group for calling bullshit.

Guy: So, there are about 40 cuban soldiers outside the shack, armed with flamethrowers, my characters been shot in the leg and can't run and their leader has given me to the count of ten to come out.

DM: I'd like to see you get out of this one.

Guy: What's in this tool shed?

DM: Just garden tools and stuff

Guy: Does it have a lawnmower?

DM: Sure I guess.

Guy: Petrol or electric

DM: What?

Guy: The lawnmower.

DM: Petrol I guess?

Guy: Okay, I make a strength test to remove the fuel tank, it's usually plastic. I roll a 19, and my strength is 14 so that's 21.

DM: What? Fine. You have the fuel tank.

Guy: Okay, you let me buy that can of coke and that pack of moonrocks from the vending machine before we left america, so I empty the moonrocks into the fuel-tank then the coke, I then seal the tank with one of the party balloons which I still have from the start of the campaign. I then empty a small amount of fuel from my lighter onto the balloon top as it inflates and light it.
I then open the shed door and toss the tank at the Cubans.

DM: Buh?

Guy: The Ballon should have about half a second to inflate with the airated petrol from the moonrocks and coke, and when the fire ruptures the balloon the mixture will explode like a small barothermic explosive, the force of which should kill at least three of them and set them and several others on fire. Since they're using cheap Russian flamthrowers, the excess outside heat should degrade the plastic napalm lines to the flamethrower from their tanks in seconds causing horrific secondary explosions. Hitting all of the soldiers with napalm who haven't been hit already.

DM: Fuck.

How the hell did your fighter get a skill rank bonus of +46 in perform?

>>12314505
>barothermic
Thermobaric.

>>12314468
Right. Joined halfway through, spent all his points on minions instead of secret organisation backing or vampiric powers.
Had to convince the DM to let his character die, inspired MANLY TEARS.

Imma go commit seppuku now.

>>12314149
>He wasn't an amnesiac last time, he was just crazy thinking someone else had killed his father when it was actually him just repressing the memories. I'm still peeved at you turning him into the BBEG at the end you know.

I see what you did there. Though technically, Siegfried does go on to redeem himself.

Okay, you guys obviously didn't hear me when I said this would be a combat heavy sci-fi campaign since you all decided to play high schoolers. I really expected more from you Chris. I mean, a crossdressing actor? And Lisa and Stephanie, did you really both have to play magical teenage pop singers?

Well, too late to do anything about it now, I guess. You're all high school fighter pilots or pop stars with magic powers.

>>12314524

THAT'S the one.

Said player went on to do a sci-fi campaign where they kept using ancient portals from planet to planet and fought a race of interstellar parasites who thought they were gods.
He agreed to, and mostly did, tone his shit down, and a good time was had by everyone.
Except for the guy playing Daniel who had to ressurect his character because he was so unhappy with his new character.

>>12314505
i hope your character had ranks in craft (completely insane device) or i would have slapped you in the face if i were that gm

>>12314593
This is why Macross was the greatest anime to grow up on.

Heavy Gear Campaign in a Home-Brewed Setting.

Played by a combat monster who just likes to fight and has tooled his character up to that end. Unfortunately for the DM, his player is about to have the luckiest streak ever to occur in roleplaying history. This will lead to major conflict and repeated attempts to screw him over eventually pitting God and the entire Universe against him in a fit of rage.

>>12314617
No he took the feat, improvised explosives

>>12314617
or maybe i should actually read whats going on in the thread before i start making an ass out of myself

>>12314593
Hey GM, I think Lisa may be on the wrong side of the fence, if you know what I mean.

She's batting for the other team.
If you get my drift.

>>12314593

To be fair, the GM should have seen that coming after all of the awesome of his last campaign where EVERYBODY was a musician.

Wait, How many swords did you say? Let me see that character sheet!

>>12314642
Anyone have a clip of him being badass musically?

We're playing humans that live in caves and worship drills? Gayest campaign ever.

2 sessions later

FUCK YEAH BELIEVE IN ME WHO BELIEVES IN YOU BEST CAMPAIGN EVER

>>12314593
Goddamn it, Steve! How did you manage to both bring your giantess and loli fetish into the same game?

>>12314678
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uCciEhtzGU&feature=related

>>12314642
Except of course for the guy who made a combat-focused character who was, in fact, worse at combat than the pacifist musician main character.

>>12314716
>worse at combat
Bullshit. Basara was terrible at combat. He just managed to be SO GOOD AT DIPLOMACY it didn't matter.

Also, Macross 7 had possibly the only non-annoying DMPC (Max) ever.

>>12314319
Rei actually accomplished a few things in combat.

>episode 6
MEATSHIELDAN

>episode 9
ASUKA, YOU JUST GOT SERVED. S'KOOL SIS, I'LL LET YOU DO IT ANYWAY.

>episode 11
ASUKA, WHAT THE FUCK. THAT'S THE WRONG WAY.

OH, AN ANGEL. ALLOW ME TO ASSESS THIS SHIT. OH, WHAT'S THAT? YOU MADE A DECENT BATTLE PLAN? HOW CUTE.

>episode 16
WOW, EVEN ASUKA IS STARTING TO FIGURE OUT HOW RETARDED SHE IS. TOO BAD SHE GOADS OUR BEST PILOT INTO DOING SOMETHING STUPID. I SWEAR, IT'S LIKE YOU LOWER THE IQ OF EVERYBODY AROUND YOU.

>episode 19
REALLY, ASUKA? I KNOW YOU ARE BAGGAGE AND HAVE TO BE CARRIED DURING COMBAT, BUT YOU REALLY PUT ME IN A BAD SITUATION HERE. OH WELL, I KNOW HOW TO FIX YOUR FUCK UP.

>episode 22
AT THIS POINT, YOU'RE EXPENDABLE. GO AHEAD AND GET MIND-RAPED, IT AMUSES ME. NOW I'M GOING TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION.

>episode 23
WOW, THIS REALLY SUCKS. I'M STILL NOT GOING TO LET THAT STOP ME FROM DOING WHAT I NEED TO DO.

>Episode 24
OH HAI ASUKA. I SEE YOU'RE STILL USELESS. I'M GOING TO GO NEUTRALIZE THE AT FIELD OF AN ANGEL BY MYSELF NAO.

>>12314695
He is actually making her cum with the power of rock.

YES! THIS PLEASES ME!

>>12314689
In Steve's defense, that totally wasn't his fault.

That was that motherfucker Sean who wanted to be a LONE GUNMAN WITH A TROUBLED PAST

>>12314695
Macross 7 was just fucking weird.

"Let me get this straight. You want to play an emotionless, blind girl who was kidnapped from her family and uses ghosts for remote viewing?"

"Yeah."

"Oh well. Guess you'll fit right in.

(Several sessions later).

"Are you going to do anything?"

"I sell a pack of cigarettes to Steve's character."

"No, I mean something else."

"I use a ghost. What do I see?"

"The same thing you saw last time."

>>12314740
Yes. He really is.

There is no subtext here. He actually gave Civil repeated orgasms by singing at her. On like a dozen separate occasions.

Possibly because he has some incredibly rare genetic quirk that activates a normally dormant part of his innate Projenitor heritage.

OH GOD I'M DOING THAT FANON THING AGAIN FUCKING HELL

>>12314737
Not making your case any better there OP. Might want to lay off the caps a little.

Never could understand the Reifags.

>>12314737
>Asuka

This is my ego. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My ego is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my ego is useless. Without my ego, I am useless. Before God I swear this creed: my ego and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.

>>12314623
Actually, the official RPG gives him about the highest possible luck stat. It's stupid good. Although really, his entire group of friends is nutty.

Vanilla would probably be mostly alright player wise, content to roleplay his clearly substandard HELICOPTER Pilot in a world of mechs, who can also drive.

Cocona would vary, but probably THAT ONE GUY, or in this case, girl, as the character likes Vanilla. She constantly derails everything, and is stupid, but improves.

Gotho is hard for me to judge. He doesn't overpower everything, but the player who created this kind of guy in a combat oriented game would either be a total dick, or really cool, depending on personality. He's all about soft influence, and basically spent everything on charisma, diplomacy, bartering, and Connections, connections everywhere, and balanced it by being lousy in a fight, old, and fat, with really mostly bad physical attributes.

>>12314730
There was one episode where it was shown that Basara could pull off high-g combat maneuvers that even ace pilots like Millia have difficulty pulling off.

That and he effortlessly dodges most any attack made against him and manages to hit just about every single enemy he encounters with a speaker pod when he enters battle.

Basara could have singlehandedly defended Macross 7, had he not been a pacifist musician.

>>12314772
If Rei was male, she'd be a great (but stereotypical) neckbeard. We all know it and that's why we like her.

>>12314772
Asuka is actually my favorite. My point is that if you were to arrange the pilots on how well they contribute to combat, the listing would be.

1. Shinji
2. Rei
3. Asuka

It's like she's not even there sometimes.

>>12314593
Damn it, Cedric, you don't get to play a blatantly homosexual fighter pilot riding around on a ship that turns into a giant robot with guns for arms!

>>12314767
She's like a Decker, except a lot of the time, no one actively opposes or even notices her, whether or not they want to.

It's like this game my pal was involved with in which the Smelly Sewer Dwarf basically had his own campaign which intersected with the main one.

DM: What is this....I don't even.

>>12314821
You just wait, GM. You'll see just how much of a man Cedric really is.

BEST
HOMO
EVER

DM:Okay, I am now seriously regretting you take that many ranks of Regeneration, plus that Berzerk fury talent is beginning to irritate, not as much as your fucking indestructable skeleton.

Jim: Well, it's indestructable, so it's too late now man.

DM: Yeah, I guess... [looks at the BBEG's character sheet] hmmm... magnetic control...?

"And what's your character? An ex-cop with the Hatred: Contractors trait?"

"Yeah, there's my backstory right there. Is it okay if I took points in Sniper Rifles? I figured he had some tra-"

-"Wait a minute. You've seen everyone else's characters right? This isn't going to work. Maybe you should change a few things."

"No, It's cool. I won't do anything unless they provoke him."

>>12314685
But the last season sucked.

>>12314812


Well I agree for one. Of course Asuka being inneffective and outshone by the Prodigy when she'd spent her entire life working to this point was neccessary for Anno to rip her apart.
Seeing her actually live up to her potential and annihilate the MP Evas was incredibly cathartic for me.
Then that fucker pulls a deus ex machina and literally rips her apart.
Cunt.

GM "So are you characters ready for that modern social game i told you about"

Group *chorus of yeahs"

10 minutes into the game.

Group "OMG WITH"

>>12314869
You will probably like the third movie of the rebuild. It's strongly suggested that Rei and Shinji are going to be out of the spotlight for a while, so the remaining pilots are Mari and Asuka. I also love her eye patch.

"So did she say anything?"
"..."
"Okay, I grab her other pinky and give it a twist until I hear the crack-"
"She tells you everything she knows and we move onto the next scene what the hell is wrong with you."
"Wait! First I spoonfeed her."
-------
"Okay, now she's explaining her plan to reveal the existence of Contractors to-"
"I hit her."
"What?"
"You heard me. I'm sick of her shit. Five across the face. Then I ask about my sister."

What have you done to my CoC campaign?!

Wait...your Great Old One PC has investigative skills? This might just work out...

>>12314812

<3 Asuka und Shinji.

Motoko Kusanagi:

Players: she keeps rolling 20s! We give her new dice but she just keeps on rolling 20s!

>>12314924
I don't even...

GM: Let me get this straight. I told you all you'd be piloting giant robots in this campaign, with lots of political subterfuge, investigation, and all that... and EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU ROLLED UP MARTIAL ARTISTS?

>>12314969
And what kind of a name is Shining Finger Sword for a special attack anyway?

DM: Wait what? You can't all be Prinnies!

Players: No it's okay, we've taken an artifact item that allows us to be thrown about.

DM: But you'll still die after what, one, two hits?

Players: Actually we've sunk all our points into that one feat that lets you buy fate points.

DM: Uh, how many?

Players: Uh. 1000.

DM: Arg.

>>12314924
I love you.

>>12314969

GM: Let me get this straight. I told you all you'd be piloting giant robots in this campaign, with dogfight chases and large set-piece space battles... and YOU'RE ALL PLAYING MEMBERS OF A ROCK BAND?

>>12314994
Why does your character sheet say Weakness: Tits?

>>12314767
>>12314840

You two are awesome.

It makes me sad there is no way to make a good DtB game.

>>12313853
"Dammit, you guys! I told you this was a modern supervillain world conquest campaign! None of your characters have an INT or WIS above 6, for chrissakes! And you all took enough flaws to make an entire second character with the bonus points!"

>>12315071
>And you all took enough flaws to make an entire second character with the bonus points!"

We did.
Her name is Menchi.

>>12315071
HAIL! ILPILLAZO!

Ok, so you're both teenage bards, fair enough, the lack of intelligence is going to bite you in the ass though isn't it? ... What do you mean you bought a time machine with the points you had left over??

>>12315071
VERY NO!

I don't care what your charisma score is, you can't try to seduce the moon!

GM: Goddamn what the hell is wrong with you all? You've min-maxed your martial artist all to hell using points you gained from your Mysoginist trait, a stupidly low int and wis score, and that whole curse thing that turns you into a girl on commonly occuring circumstances.

Ray: Oh come on, getting splashed with cold water can't be THAT common an occurance.

[GM levels him a wry smile]

GM: Sure. Then theres Paul who's despite having better stats and actually managing to turn his curse into a positive since the Panda form has superior stats, he still hasn't managed to twink it out as well as you. Then there's Sallies character who doesn't even speak the language, and neither does Ray's for that matter, although I'll be having words with you about how many ranks you've putten into hidden weapons later, don't even get me started on Tim's character. IF YOU WERE 200 YEARS OLD THEN YOU MOST CERTAINLY BE DEAD AND WOULD NOT HAVE STATS ANYWHERE NEAR AS GOOD AS THIS.
In fact, now that I think about it, why have ALL of you taken the Mysoginist trait? I mean isn't Ray's character from a feminist matriarchy?

>>12314954
The dude in the suit is an ancient, sadistic demon that feeds on mysteries. He could actually be Tzeentch in disguise – that’s how good he is with unravelling (and ravelling) convoluted plots. The girl is some unlucky fool that got pressured into posing as a genius detective, so he could solve mysteries without attracting too much attention to himself. She's a compulsive eater of pretty much anything and, while not a super detective, pretty unnervingly good at understanding people's intentions. The… braid… is a living, or rather, undead, lock of hair, attached to a body that was ‘buried’ in the wall of their office and reanimated by the demon's overflowing power (despite this, she’s quite cheerful and very intelligent). The final party member, not shown, is a depressed low-tier gangster with small smarts but good instincts and a mean left hook.

BEST PARTY EVER!

>>12315040
Mutants and Masterminds might work, or Wild Talents/Godlike.
-------
"The child soldier's a nice change of pace. Where did she get the rifle from?"
"She's not a soldier, she's a Contractor.."
"Okay, so what's her power?"
"She summons the rifle, but first she's surrounded by lights and her clothes disappear and the rifle emerges from the pendant around her neck..."

(Several sessions later)
"God. Dammit. Stop. Describing. Your. Rifle. Summoning. Every. Time. We. Fight."

Tom, I'm not sure your blind Earthbender is going to be the best addition to the party...

"Why?"

I dunno, just have a feeling....

OK your character sheet is nice, I like how you've balanced the skills with a lack of starting equipment... but you haven't given me a backstory... hell you haven't even given me a name!

P.s. captch was "deputati sibilled" which I though almost fit:)

Somebody do Ergo Proxy.

>>12315176
Fine, just call him Blondey.

Damn, I was going to do one for Hei. He's even more ridiculous than Claire. He's practically a Rogue/Fighter 10 gestalt with a bunch of lightning based at-wills.

Jim: Okay, to celebrate my win at the Baccarat table I seduce the woman on my right, and come to think of it, the one my left as well.

GM: Goddamn it Jim I should have known you were up to something when your Spycraft character sank all of his points into Cha, Seduce and Diplomacy.

Jim: Be fair, I do use those skills to get the BBEG to reveal his secret plan a lot as well.

GM: I suppose...

GM: That's it, I'm sick of you 2 getting NPCs killed for stupid reasons! This time, NEITHER of you can take any combat abilities!
Phil: None at all??
Alice: Serves you right for getting my character's dad killed off last time!
Shamus: But didn't you say this campaign would be modern and have a fair bit of combat?
GM: Don't worry, I've got a plan *evil grin*

*Two character sheets later*

GM: Ok let's see what you've got... Let's see, super genius based on a psychic link to a global database, with amnesia regarding his past and occasionally gets obsessed with something random, not bad. And Shamus you've got... a detective that's obsessed with noir detective novels?
Shamus: Yep, now what's the deal with combat in this?
GM: Here you go. *slides a 3rd character sheet across the table*
Phil: Nice, looks like a real combat monster, high damage, fairly durable, modular power sets.
Shamus: Who's this for?
GM: *evil grin x10* Both of you.

...

Phil and Shamus: WE'RE BOTH THE FIGHTER?!
Alice: And thanks to my father dying, I own the detective agency!

Okay guys, do you have your characters ready for that modified Call of Cthulhu game I was talking about?

What. . .what is this? You're all children. . .who are remarkably well-adjusted given their backstories. What do you mean you killed your parents!

Okay, okay. That's alright. I can work with this.

Juri's player is from a WoD background and keeps bringing the unnecessary angst in. Utena's player is a D&Der and doesn't know what to do with moral ambiguity. Saionji was an attempt to minmax, but Touga got better ability score rolls and so still does better. Meanwhile, Touga is played by the "If there are any girls there I want to do them" guy. Nanami is the sort that thinks enough ranks in Diplomacy should make everyone immediately love them. Miki is the only one who ever invests in knowledge skills. And Shiori is played by the guy who always plays the traitor character, and is probably a WoD vet like Juri.

>>12315227
Throw me a bone here, I got nothing.

>>12315227
What you did.

I see it.

DM: Ok, Kyle, what are you going to be?
Kyle: Druid who attacks things with flower petals
DM: .....
DM: Nick?
Nick: Homebrew class that attacks things with crystals.
DM: Ooookaaaayyy.....Steve, what are you going to be?
Steve: Druid who attacks things with strawberry vines
DM: ...........
DM: Larry, please don't say druid.
Larry: Rogue
DM: Oh thank go-
Larry: With a DEX and WIS of five
DM: d damn it. Bill?
Bill: Druid with a watering can.
DM: Ok, seriously, what's with all the fucking dr-
David: I'm his twin, also a druid, but I have scissors instead
DM: NO MORE DRUIDS! Ed, character, now.
Ed: Neutral Evil Half-demon fighter.
DM: THANK YOU!
Ed: Also, we're all sisters and have to fight to the death eventually.
DM: FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

GM: Wait, you know that there's an entire chapter on super powers, right?

Player: Yeah, I wasn't really interested in any of them. I'll just use guns.

GM: Some of these guys wouldn't notice they were hit by a tank if it wasn't so loud.

Player: I'll figure something out.

>>12315240
>killed their parents
>Not Satoko
what are you doing, you nigga

>>12315259
I'm not googling shit.

Even online, I'm still a lazy asshole.

>>12315227
GM: So the guy I had for the last session was running an Op'd fighter character that could turn into PC's based on some of the pre-made campaigns in the book. Never finished the last session. What would you guys say to running a joint session with him that could help kick off your session and help me finish his?

Phil: Sounds fine with me. Just make sure that it isn't a gigantic cluster-fuck of story lines, followed by a poorly executed crossover at the end.

>>12315214
>He's even more ridiculous than Claire.

Nah, Claire's literally unstoppable.

1st Session: Alright guys, I'm running a low fantasy, low combat game where you're going to have to make your own way in the world, it's going to be Sandbox. You have X many points to spend.

2nd Session: ...wait, you took HOW many points in enemy Church Horo?...And...you're bound to grain...what did you spend all these points on...
What?!
The fuck! Let me see that...
Alright, I guess you can be a...wolf...thing...whatever the fuck she is.
And Lawrence..?
...well, you're alright. That's a lot of points in haggle and Barter...same for you Horo...hey, did you guyts make your sheets together?
...Ah fuck. You're merchants?! That's going to be...not very interesting...
Okay, I can make this work...

5th Session: WOO MOTHERFUCKER!! Fuckin' Economics up in this bitch!

>>12315227
I approve of your continued existence.

This is supposed to be a game about high school students. Why the hell are you playing a former child soldier working with special forces?

"So Tom made a gunslinger, Alice made a Caveman, Phil made a Psychic, Nick made a Fighter, Josh made an old kung-fu master, Alex made another ninja, and Melissa made a robot. Who said we were playing RIFTS?"

>>12313431
Speaking of, did the Wakfu homebrew ever go anywhere?

>>12315305
FMP can be described as pretty much "Sosuke fails at something ordinary, Hilarity Ensues" in between bouts of EPIC MILITARY SHENANIGANS

How the hell could anyone rationalize this one?

"How many points were those 'socially retarded', 'doesn't know own strength', and 'naive' traits worth again?"

NOBLE ADEPT WITH PEER (GRANDMOTHER) AND PROFESSION (CHEF)+20?

WHAT THE FUCK.

>>12314337
i was just waiting for someone to post him, god i love him.

>>12315344
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2M0GNYuO9Q

"Alright, Gritty, grim, realistic campaign coming up."
Guts' player minmaxes the shit out of damage.
Casca's cheeses off the DM because -4 strength.
Griffith's goes diplomacy and takes Dark Destiny as a flaw.
Later, Casca rolls well enough to keep from being killed, but the DM ignores Guts' minmaxing until it gets in the way of killing Casca.
Then he's like "Fuck all of you, fuck this game, DEMONS EVERYWHERE."
Then they keep the campaign going, with Griffith's player as the new DM, and fight demons.
Everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg

>>12315335

Only noteworthy characters are Lain and Arisu. Haibane Renmei would have been a better campaign, though kind of dry for the most part. New player tries to derail game and go "FUCK YOU I'M TOUCHING THE WALL!"

“I never should’ve given you that fucking Sonic Screwdriver…”

>>12315335
Pretty easily. It's a very straightforward story once you know what's going on. Anything system that can handle Ghost in the Shell can handle Lain. Eclipse Phase, maybe?

Someone do the original Gundam

"So your power is to possess animals?"
"Yep."
"Okay. I can work with that. There's a zoo in the city and several exotic pet stores."
"Nah, I won't need those. He already has a body."
"What? Let me see that...what the hell is this? You're stuck in a cat? And you didn't take any combat skills?"
"Yeah. I'll make it work."
"You better. At least everything's adding up..."Fetish: Ankles?" "Never Forgets an Ankle." "Downloaded Personality." Where did you get these traits?"

>>12313881
mybodyisready.jpg

>>12315364
That Guy.

DM: Ok, so Garry, you rolled up a fullblade fighter, not bad. Kyle, you went with Charisma I see, are you looking at being the leader? Now, I know you guys have been at each other's throats lately, so let's keep all that out of character, alright? This is Cari's first time playing, I don't want to scare her away from tabletop games.

(10 sessions later)
DM: Well, Cari's gone after that shit you pulled Kyle, so her character is now retarded and mute. Here, I took the liberty of rolling up a new character for you. Griffith is the BBEG now.

Kyle: A 12 year old witch?

DM: Yeah, fuck you.

GM: So, you're all ready for some Call of Cthulhu?
Everyone: FUCK YEAH!
GM: What did you all roll up?
Tom: An astronaut.
GM: Cool.
Jack: Astronaut.
GM: Okay...
Eric: Astronaut.
GM: Wait a damned...
Jessie: Astronaut Doctor.
Alex: I did an Astronaut Doctor, too.
Ryan: Astronaut Engineer.
Greg: I did that one, too.
GM: Seriously, you guys...
Jerry: I made an Astrophysicist.
GM: Well finally, something...
Jerry: With a crash-course in being an Astronaut.
GM: ...You guys are so seriously fucked.

Steve: Here's my character sheet.
GM: Hmmm. Maid huh? Good medical skills, party is surely going to need that with all these flaws. Synchronizer ability like Ted's character seems a bit redundant...
Ted: We're twins.
GM: Huh. Okay. I don't know about this Flaw: Hates Tohno Family. Seems like it conflicts with the Tohno Gland rules.
Steve: No problem, I've explained it in my background. Here, have a look.
GM: Adopted servant, interesting, and you... wait... oh. Oh god. What the fuck Steve? Seriously, what the fuck man?

>>12314149
>>

Chris: He wasn't an amnesiac last time, he was just crazy thinking someone else had killed his father when it was actually him just repressing the memories. I'm still peeved at you turning him into the BBEG at the end you know.

Fuck. What is that? Tip of my tongue, I swear ...

Oh god, someone do this for Marble Hornets/Slenderman

>>12315411
God damn you, Kohaku.

Or should I say Hisui?

Or rather, Kohaku.

GOD DAMMIT

>>12315390
DM: Alright Gary, you've done some good RP, and put up with Kyle's bullshit. You get the first magic item.

Meg: I can't believe you killed my character like that.
DM: Stupid M&M damage system...
Meg: Even the Dog GMPC died!
DM: I didn't want him to overshadow the rest of you!
Paul: I still can't believe I survived that.

LATER

Kenneth: Well that's it, I'm out of hero points I hope you guys get what I was trying to say.
John: Are you sure you can't just tell us?
Ken: Nope.
John: Fine, okay, so you broke the clock... breaks things? breaks time? breaks casuality? Stops casuality? Stops time? Ah, Stops Time?
[dm starts to grin and nod]
John: Okay, so he can stop time... wait, doesn't that make him INCREDIBLY dangerous?
[DM continues to grin and nod, but SUBSTANTIALLY MORE SO]
John's brother Tim: Hey, remember how I was saving up my XP when I knew what I was going to spend it on...?

DM: Argh.

LATER STILL

DM: Okay, so he's hurled the steamroller onto your head and you've failed your roll to destroy it, and now he's let out his trademark WRRRRRRRRYYYYY before punching it a few hundred times into your face.

Tim: Wait, according to this my new Time-stop power should now last a good 5 seconds longer than his, am I reading it right?

DM: Hmm? Oh fucknuggets.

John [returning to the table]: Wait a minute guys, I got it wrong! I've still got one hero point left!

"You can't take the flaws Suicidal and Necrophobic together you asshat!"

>>12313727
You're awesome.

GM: Right, so small town, modern, Western America... what did you come up with? Joe, you've got next to no combat skills for a sheriff.

Joe: My character isn't too keen on guns. He doesn't think they solve every problem.

GM: And you've taken a hit to dexterity and bone density for extra ranks in ... "Calm as Fuck"? Right, cool... this campaign is centred around the BBEG, so ... sure, your funeral. Sam... how did you manage to roll so badly for your stats? You honestly have the worst luck ever. At least the character's endurance is good. Don't worry, I'll set you up with some cash to compensate.

Sam: Sweet.

GM: Your characters don't have a common background aside from being in the same town... Well, I suppose they at least know of each other. We can get them to meet up in-game.

>>12315445
That is the largest, most hilarious and social-commentaryish game of Maid ever.

>>12315450

Mother of god. I'd play the living fuck out of that game.

archive plz

>>12315305
fuckin' love FMP

Anime of the year all years

Cameron: Fuck I can't believe my character died.

GM: Man two natural 1's on a toughness save. Sucks to be you. Wanna re-roll a guy?

Cameron: I dunno. What about that other guy? The one who's like my old guy.

GM: Guess you could be him. Just don't do anything suicidal.

Simon: Hey guys! I got a new player for our group.

Joel: Cool! Is he a healer? Cause I just noticed that-

Simon: I dunno. I talked to her about it and she said she's gonna probably be a charisma ta-

Joel: WAIT WAIT WAIT "she"? You're telling me you got a girl to join our game!?

Simon: Well yea. I mean she seemed nice enough.

Joel: Man what're you doing!? What if she totally ruins the mood of the game by having her character be like, some fairy princess on a unicorn or something?

Simon: What? I can't believe this! You guys are so shallow and chauvinistic that you'd automatically assume that just because a girl wants to roleplay she's gonna taint it with her feminine charms!?

GM (Ross): Simon is right guys. Lets not be judgmental here. Just because this new players a girl won't mean anything.

Nina: Hello everyone!

Simon: Oh guys. This is Nina.

GM (Ross): Hi Nina. Why don't you tell me about your character?

Nina: Well she's a princess...

>>12315445
>>12315445
>>12315445
>>12315445

>>12315438
Do one for the end of Stone Ocean. Shit was crazy.

>>12315429
DM:
Wait. So you mean you are a robot, and you are a robot.
Damnit did everyone in your family buy Cyborg?
Joe: "Well yeah, its fun, and we can finish our Super Robot Game.."
DM: "you do know this is a game about magical girls righ..
Fuckit, I'll allow it, but you do know the other players are brok.. Oh, AMF. Its your funeral though!

DM: Alright, what do you have?
Wendy: I'll play a slightly enhanced human monster hunter with a little bit of regeneration. She's able to use just about anything as a weapon.
Amanda: I'm gonna be a ditzy blond thief who can make little force bomb grenade thingies.
Francis: I'll just roll up a flying brick. Super strength, flight, but he likes to cut loose and drink every now and then.
DM: Alright, those should be fine. Ken?
Ken: Robot guy!
DM: Of course.
Ken: No, dude, this one runs on beer.
DM: Uh huh. Right. How about you Krystal?
Krystal: A former police officer who received energy manipulation powers on accident, and who has been fighting evil for years and years now.
DM: Great. You're all superheroes of sorts, and you're working for the...
Ken: RAAAAAILROAAAAAAD!!!
DM: Oh fine. You're working AGAINST the Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort because they're secretly actually owned by the Beyond Corporation, and are evil terrorists.
Ken: Rad.

>>12315505

I never read Stone Ocean. The one with GioGio was just TOO wierd for me and I stopped.
Plus I realised that it was never going to be as awesome as Battle Tendency or the first adventure.

DM: Goddamnit, this happens every single campaign. Fred rolls a combat monster with no social, and Eric rolls a social buffer with no combat, then both of them whine at me for not including one or the other. What can I do to get revenge...

Hey, wait a minute, the points buyout so Murderous Rage doesn't trigger randomly is exactly the same as how much the Royalty bonus adds...

>>12315566
Ah, that show. So much wasted potential...

They should have stayed swapped, Farith marries the Real Princess WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER HER NAME I SUCK and they rule the country together.

Awesomest queen ever.

Short of Lizzy, of course.

>>12315535
hilarityensues.jpg

>>12315505

"Hey, GM. Remember how the BBEG had that modular power ability?"

"Yeah."

"Remember how you killed Eric's character with it?"

"Yeah."

"I've been flooding this room with ozone since you began this discussion."

"....FUCK!"

Requesting a code geass one

you can't all play princesses.

>>12315485

GM (Ross): NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. NO! NO. YOU CANNOT BE A PRINCESS.

Nina: Why not?

Simon: Yea man? What's wrong with her being a princess?

GM (Ross): This is a grim-dark post apocalyptic world with horrible monsters and deadly war-grounds. There's no room for bright-happy-funtime princesses!

Simon: Oh come on! Like Cameron didn't ruin the whole "grim dark" aspect five minutes after we began playing.

Joel: You really shouldn't have picked Mutants and Masterminds as a system is all I'm saying.

GM (Ross): OK EVEN THEN! How could she be a princess!? There are no kings in this futu-

Cameron: Wait. Yes there is. What about the guy Viral told us about? That Spiral King.

GM (Ross): SPEAR KING and Lordgenome is not a king in the traditional sense. That's simply a title he takes-

Cameron: Wait. Lord Genome? I don't get it. Is he a king or is he a lord? There's a difference you know-

GM (Ross): THAT'S HIS NAME! IT'S NOT "LORD GENOME" IT'S "LORDGENOME" AND HE-

Nina: Well hold on here. If there IS a king why can't I be a princess.

GM (Ross): Because then you'd have to be his daughter!

Simon: ... well why can't she be?

GM (Ross): BECAUSE HE'S A TYRANNICAL DESPOT WHO'D KILL HER FOR NOT BEING STRONG ENOUGH TO LIFT A WEAPON!

Cameron: Now hold on here. This sounds like a potential backstory hook. A girl is raised by an evil king but is thus abandoned by him and is then picked up by the resistance fighters against him.

Simon: Yea! That's pretty good.

GM (Ross): FOR GOD SAKES WHY AM I ARGUING THIS? No. You can't be a princess and-

Simon: [Dude! Don't ruin this for me! I totally convinced her to play this game and I think she's really into me!]

GM (Ross): [You're seriously using this game to HIT ON HER?]

Simon: [You let her play a princess or I'll actually teach Cameron how the mechanics of this game REALLY WORK.]

GM (Ross): ... err...grr... fine. So Nina. Can I see your sheet?

GM: OK guys we're doing DnD, Bob I see you've got a Barbarian, nice... Jack I see you've gone for a lore keeper, fair enough... Alright Cid, very funny but you can't play a mage with no spells!
Cid; but he has one, see right there
GM: Which is effectively useless, and why if he's a mage have you maxed out agility & running over WP?
Cid; I explained it in the background
GM; Really... what exactly is cruel and unusual geography anyway?

>>12315603
>Simon: [You let her play a princess or I'll actually teach Cameron how the mechanics of this game REALLY WORK.]
I lol'd

>>12315616
You forgot to mention the Luggage.

>Hey guys. I was thinking about making a hacker game.
Does it have combat?
>A hacking game as in computers. So no, there won't be combat.
What the fuck man? We ALLWAYS have combat and that is the only thing I'm conservative about! Why can't we have some in this one too?! Just sitting next to computers is so bor-
>FINE! Well have combat. But mind you this is going to be semi-philosophical campaing.
Pffft. Whatever. I allready cooked up a character. I added that hacker template just for you.
>Well aren't YOU the sweetest thing.
>*reads sheet*
>Goddamit Andy!

>>12314149
>I'm a ninja!
The denwa is strong in this one

>>12314767
>>12314854
>>12314922
>>12315149
>>12315377
Weird campaign, really. Probably FATE or some other flexible shenanigans like ORE.

>>12314899
FFFFFFFFFFFFFF-

>>12314994
>>12315012
Now that's teamwork

>>12315252
Warforged alternative druids. Sound like cheese, rocks like awesome

>>12315296
CAPITALISM, HO

>>12315445
Shouldn't that be Thanatophobia?

"Let me see that fucking sheet".

>>12315652
And this is why the sequels sucked.

GM: Right, so All Flesh Must be Eaten! High School setting! Who's playing what?

Molly: The popular girl. Rich, attractive, snooty...
Emilio: Jock. Wrestling team. All that goes with it.

GM: Cool, you guys probably know each other. That works well. What did you guys roll? Science club geek, Gifted but Nutjob loner... Judd?

Judd: Juvenile Delinquent. Troubled Home. Don't worry, he has a knife.

GM: Well... Let's start of with you guys in detention. We'll get your characters to gel before we get the zombies in.

Alright Eric, Ray can set things on fire by snapping his fingers, Al is functionally immortal and doesn't need to eat or sleep, Ed is the only one who can perform alchemy wherever the fuck he wants, and you're just really strong. Honestly, I don't see how you'll be effective in combat.

>>12315662
but... but... he knows the score! he gets the women! he kills the bad guys!

>>12315227
DABURU!!!

>>12315683
Eric: C'mon, have you seen my rancks in Craft: Sculpture?

Rosencrantz: dude, this whole campaign was just one giant railroad, no matter what we do the campaign is going to turn out the same way

Guildenstern: guildenstern is right! whats the point of role playing if we have no say in whats going to happen next?

DM: quit whining, i told you when you rolled your characters i was going to have you all dead in the end!

>>12315535
FUCK YES!

>>12315715
DM: besides, your dice are fucking rigged. You rolled the same number how times in a row?

>>12315683

"Way to ignore my generations long family history. I got a shit combat styles from being taught by the best!"

No, stupid is not a skill.

>>12315361

"Right, so the mercenary has you pinned down hundred-to-one. I don't think you can fight your way out, you'll have ro roll for stea-"

"I use Great Cleave."

"what? on who?"

"all of them."

>>12315708

>>12315594
Excellent.

GM: Hmm, alright everyone, tell me what you've got.

John: I've got a Crushing Blow Monk, high Strength, high Charisma and Diplomacy. I used an alternative rule for starting equipment, so I have a Iron Golem companion instead of starting gear.

GM: ...right, well, it's got potential.

Steve: Iaido master with a dark past.

GM: Dear God, your damage is through the ROOF! How did you do that?

Steve: Avenger flaw and Enemy flaw, both max'd out.

GM: Huh, well, moving on.

George: Monkey Grip, Two-Weapon Fighting Duskblade who uses Burning hands to light both his spears on fire.

GM: Sounds fine. And you, Frank?

Frank: I took two-weapon fighting 3 times, so he fights with 6 swords.

GM: No.

Frank: But it's totally legal! He just takes more and more minuses for each extra one, but more damage!

GM: Hum, alright, I'll let it slide.
...
Wait, you all have either "Rival" or "Enemy" for another party member? Well...

<three sessions later>

GM: Well great. Steve's not coming back after his little outburst over you killing his character, John, and George and Frank are just yelling at each other about manliness. It's your turn.

John: Is there anything of the country left to conquer?

GM: ...*sigh*... no. Your Golem managed to stifle all resistance while you were out.

>>12311732
Thats really inaccurate.

>>12315704
Look, I can't max out your CHA, STR, CON and give you every machete-related skill in the book if you're only going to take a negative score in text messaging.

"I'm not sure you two read the campaign details I sent you. A bumbling private eye and otaku nerd in a dark world of strange superpowers? You wouldn't last five seconds in combat. I'm not even sure your detective can actually investigate properly and Interest: Yaoi Doujins is just...yeah. I did promise a game though, so how about a couple one-shots?"

Best thread in a long time.

"What do you mean we are walking to school? Mike just killed Alexis and Jeff's characters before killing himself, and you off-screened Rachel. What was with all those notes you were passing anyways?"

"Hey, Jim, we really love your campaign and all, and I'd love to see where it goes, but with everyone moving away I just don't see how we can keep playing. Sorry, man, hope you can find a new group."

"how can you be rolling a robot? this is a CoC game set in the 1930s!"

DM: Guys... I'm not even... Okay, fine. You can team up, but only for this campaign.

>>12315603

GM (Ross): Alright. The Spear King has just punched your mech.

Cameron: Wait what? Whatever happened to grim-dark and realist-

GM (Ross): MEHMEMEMEMEH Ya know what? You learn how to play the FUCKING RULES and then I'll let you lecture me.

Cameron: ...

Simon: We have a bad influence on him.

GM (Ross): Anyway. He knocks you off and the whole place blows up. He tries to tear your mech apart. Make a strength roll to oppose.

Simon: Right! *rolls* ... 8...

Nina: I'll Inspire him!

GM (Ross): Not gonna be enough. He crushes your mecha's arms and mocks your inability.

"You came so far only to fail. This is the path that all humans must learn."

Simon: Crap crap crap...

Cameron: SIMON BE AWESOME!

Simon: What?

Cameron: I SAID BE AWESOME!

Simon: (OK my mech is destroyed... if only...) Uhhh... I'll use extra effort.

GM (Ross): For what?

Simon: My mech-key. I'm giving it an alternate power.

GM (Ross): What?

Simon: Strike 16, penetrating.

GM: Something that high? You're gonna have like, a +3 to hit.

Simon: That's my melee mechless anyway.

GM: Pfft. You're never gonna make that-

Nina: Wait. Would the Spiral King see the attack coming?

GM: SPEAR KING and... uh no I guess not?

Nina: Simon! You'll catch him flat footed.

Simon: Oh you're right! I do have a chance after all. *rolls*

...

....

Simon: Natural 20.

GM (Ross): .... GRRRRERRREER... fuck.

>>12315792
Same here, but then she's my favourite character (with Misato).
I can see why people would hate her though.

"Why do I even run BESM for you guys?"

GM: Fuck. No. You can't name your character "Awesome-X", John. Besides, I don't even have any super villains rolled up for you to fight.
John: We've got that figured out. Matt's going to play a super-genius alien bent on taking over the world.
Matt: I'm also really tough, too. And I have a sexy cyborg henchman.
GM: Okay, I guess that's fine. Your shitty WIS score will probably ruin any of your schemes, but whatever.
John: Shit, I didn't know you had a henchman! I want to have some too!
GM: *sigh* Alright, alright. I can roll you some henchman as well, but they'll be pretty stupid and may even turn on you. I don't have names for them, though. How about the "Awesome-X fighting force"?
John: No, dude, I've got a way better name!
GM: Oh dear god.
John: They're called the Xtacles!

>>12315807
Hey, man, the gang's back in town for the weekend! I know it's been awhile, but you up for a one-shot?"

DM: For fuck's sake, Axel. Stop being such a goddamned munchkin.

"Oh my fucking God man, calm down! It's just a game, okay? Even the GM makes a mistake sometimes!"

Let me see those fucking dice.

"Okay, before we play WoD, Ed, make sure you and your girlfriend don't fuck this up. I know how you two get around each other, and that's the last thing we need for this game."

GM: So, your character is not only a full-body cyborg, but one of the very first, one of the most brilliant hackers around and crazy good at gunfighting?
John: Also her combat 'borg body is actually a hooker one that's had everything replaced with high-end military tech.
GM: Goddamnit, John.

GM: Right guys what you playing?
Player 1: Martial Artist
Player 2: Bored Heirest, guess he's my bodyguard.
Player 1: Sounds lame.
Player 2: Loads of skills, crazy int got a gun incase of combat.
GM: Wait a second how you afford Stats that high?
Player 1: Took a bunch of flaws, dumped my mentals
GM: You have ONE skill karate, enough strenght to lift a car and enough toughness to be bullet proof and you what 10?
Player 1: Yeah.
GM: And you've got more money than batman seriously what hell can your character want?
Player 2: Dunno i'll think of something.

"I was hoping for more than two players, but I've been wanting to try little fears forever. This is going to be really awesome. What do you know about modern spanish history?"

>>12315923
I see nothing whatsoever wrong with this. John clearly has his priorities straight.

>>12313727
You sir, have classed this thread up and still managed to maintain a certain level of weeaboo expected on 4chan. Kudos to you!

>>12315923
GM: Steve, you're going to be fighting robots who can punch through concrete and take a shotgun blast to the face, are you sure you don't want to take any Prosthetics?
Steve: Nahh it's alright. I've got a good gun.
GM: It says here you have a 40 years old revolver.
Steve: Yep.

>>12315891

Put the piece away, man...

>hit ctrl-f
>no Slayers
what, too easy?

Gm: So guys i thought we might want to try a game of mortals, you're all friends going out to a cabin in the woods
-----
Bruce: Good fucking christ! everyone else is dead! i'm loosing sanity by the turn and the monsters are invinicible! We're untrained mortals! why the fuck are we supposed to deal with demons!?

Gm: Roll will
Bruce:What?
Gm:Roll Will
*fails*
Bruce: oh fuck, what now
Gm: Your hand stirs on it's own for a second before punching you in the face take bashing
Bruce: FUUUUUUUUU

>>12315810
I fucking love atomic robo.

also tesla did it! that explains everything!

>captch: regamen experiment
sounds like a band name.

"You guys wanted a game of talented killers for hire right?"
"Yeah." "Definitely!" "Sure." "Let's do it!"
"All right then. Let's get started."
------------------
"Too slow. She slices the top of your head off. Any last words?"
"So you did give her a fucking Hanzo."
-------------------
"Hand in your sheet."
"What? I'm blind, not dead. I can still fight."
"Nope. She's left the trailer now. Snake bites you."
-------------------
"Five-Point technique? Where'd you pull that from, your ass? You and your GMPCs are the worst."

Do Now and Then, Here and There. Also, Archive this shit nao.

ARCHIVEARCHIVEARCHIVE

>>12316014
>imfuckingtesladontgottaexplainshit.lithograph

>>12316050
Oh BRAVO Sir!
I laughed heartily.

DM: Alright man, I just can't accept that your character's martial prowess is literally unbeatable and invincible in every concievable way. I can't DM a campaign like that.

PC: Don't you worry about that, it'll work itself out, I'll play him properly, besides he has a thing for not letting innocents get hurt, ever.

DM: Fine I'll give it a shot...

>dozens of sessions later

Both: MANLIER TEARS HAVE NEVER BEEN SHED, GOODBYE BROTHER YOU WERE TRULY MY GREATEST FOE!

>>12316066
was it the tesla, or the .lithograph?

>>12316073
>MANLIER TEARS HAVE NEVER BEEN SHED, GOODBYE BROTHER YOU WERE TRULY MY GREATEST FOE!

WHAT IS THIS SHOW?

>>12316076
.lith

Unconventional .jpg endings always get me for some reason.

>>12316088
Fist of the North Star.

To sum up it up : Manly tears.

and WATATATATATATATA SHYOOOO WAH-TAAAH!

>>12316088
motherfucking Fist of the North Star.

best fighting anime ever.

DM: "So let me get this straight, you ALL rolled up teenage girls. Look at bill's character sheet, 'Kanata, 16 year old girl, wants to learn to play an instrument.' What part of a military campaign in a post-apocalyptic world did you not understand?!"
Bob: "Aw, you know what, that was my bad. I told everyone it would be like that other campaign we're playing in, you know, the high school girl band one we like to play when we're stoned?"
Noelle: "If nobody's got weed, just wake me up when combat starts. I'll be, like, somewhere."

Steve: This game is fucking awesome!
Chris: It's like we don't even need the DM anymore!
DM: Fuck you, you both die and you're trapped in limbo forever Steve.

>>12316073
DM: You see a man with a bright pink mohawk and a shoulderpad, he turns to you a-

PC: I attack him, his head explodes.

DM: Damn it, why do you keep doing that? What if he was an important NPC?

PC: Literally every henchman you've thrown at me has had a mohawk...

>>12316088
Mad Max, except that the main character is a paladin that can punch your pressure points so hard your blood explodes.

>>12316104
YOU WA SHOCK!

Look, when I say we're going to be playing a present day scifi campaign with paramilitary overtones, you really shouldn't make a middle management salary man.

>>12311732

DM - Fighter Plane Proficiency (All)?

Jim - What can I say, I wanted to mix it up a bit.

DM - Geoff, what the fuck is this?

Geoff - What, I liked the sound of the plane you described over the phone.

DM - What the fuck Geoff, I was only telling you to sell the game and setting to you. Proficiency in Experimental Death Laser?

Geoff - Who knows, might come in handy.

DM - Well, Ok. Since only you and Geoff are here, I'll have to modify my fighter pilot campaign, you two will be wingmen. And I'll factor everyone else in as adverseries.

Geoff - What! How the fuck am I going to get revenge on Jim for last session if I'm his fucking wingman? Can't I be an adversary?

DM - Fine but only if you find a way to do it in character. Anyway, both of you pick flight call signs.

Jim - Cipher!

Geoff - Pixy.

GM: Oh fucking hell, guys, I told you this was a social suspense campaign. This is worse than the zombies one-shot.

Saki: I didn't optimize!

GM: You're fine... Oh goddammit who made this one?

Akira: What, she's playing a young character too
GM: You took amnesiac to build an international terrorist! The only young here is Knowledge: Hollywood Movies... Ah fuck it, everything that isn't social is transformed into starting money and fate points. They are in your fucking CELLPHONES and I can veto anything you ask through them.

Saki: I don't have many skills...

GM: You'll get tons of fate points. Fuck, dude, you're still overpowered!... okay, you're a terrorist, so you start in front of the White House, NAKED AND AMNESIAC. WITH A GUN.

Akira: Awww fuck... come on, dude...

Saki: I'm vacationing in Washington! Do I see him?

GM: Hahaha, yeah, sure

(10 min later)
GM: Okay, the cop asks to see your Johnny
Akira: I flash her. Bluff to look like a dumb tourist
(20 min later)
GM: You know what, a missile strikes Japan, you're both stuck in the airport.
Akira: I bribe Customs. Rolling to see how much it costs me, critical!
GM: Damn. Customs comes get you in a golf cart. People think you're important and all that.
Akira: This game is awesome.

>>12316165
Well, uh, I guess that situation resolved itself.

>>12316137
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=po77bJk1DdI&feature=related

Best. Kill. Ever.

>>12316196
(The fuck, it killed the pic)

>>12316174
dat game

also
>this thread

GM: You do realise that this world is going to have a lot of elemental magic in it, don't you think you should take waterbending like steve took, you are from the same tribe.
What is up with all these flaws anyhow? The only thing you are going to be good at it looks like is if there is ever a haiku competition. good luck with that.

'Okay, let me see the stat sheet for the BBEG. Now you're just making shit up."

>>12316131
"How many points in Repair did you buy? Is that even possible? ...fine. You get a fucking spider tank. Happy now?"

OK so we're playing a Maid variant lets see those sheets

ok... wait what the fuck is this, Blind... Horrifically burned, deaf mute, no inside voice, and Harmless?

no wait that's armless...

fuck it, I'll just toss in a Schizo Hikkomori and a guy with a sever heart condition.

HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE BEST GAME OF CHANGELING EVER!

GM: So, guys, there's a new L5R edition out, wanna get the old group together?
___
GM: Okay, so what are you all playing?
Jim: A Crane-turned-ronin after killing his master. Calm as fuck. Puts up with no shit.
Morgan: Ronin Yoritomo Bushi with a gaijin weapon and psychosis.
Faye: Ronin-born daughter of a mysterious missing Crane Clan samurai looking for her father.
GM: ... So you're all ronin. Whelp, let's go. I'll put on the music. You guys don't mind this, right? I'm kinda going through a hip-hop thing.

"So you're playing Freddie Mercury?"
"Yup."
"Jim, we're playing a damn Highschool drama, how the hell does this work?"
"Yeah, well Martin's playing a robot!"
"No I'm not! Right guys?"
"Yeah"
"Yup"
"He looks pretty normal to me."

DM: "Allright, so this is set in England, near the end of the 1800s. Ok, we've only got 2 players right now...Dave, why the hell are you playing the evil guy?"

Dave: "Felt like it."
----
Later on:
DAVE: Goddamn, what the fuck did this mask do to me? You know I hate vampires, man!...Wait, I drink blood through my fingers, and I can shoot high pressure streams of water from my eyes?

John: Fuck, how do I fight that?

Gary: Hey, my guy has the mysterious backround thing. Let's see what I rolled up...

PUNCHING VAMPIRES TO MAKE THEM EXPLODE, AND FIGHTING ZOMBIE JACK THE RIPPER, FUCK YEAH!

>>12316313
I grinned ear to ear.

>>12316300
mybodyisready.tga

>>12316322
This really is my group, they can deadpan like champions.

Nick: So I go to all the effort of making a hyper-efficient cop, and you stick him in a village in the middle of nowhere?
GM: Yep, and the drunk driver you just pulled over is in fact your new partner.
Dan: I'ish not drive drunking, I'm just.... drunk!

*Half a dozen investigation rolls later*

Nick: How in the hell does a rural village have so many illegal weapons?? I mean are you just rolling this up on some random chart, because the naval mine is plain ridiculous!

*A few sessions later*

Nick: Why is everyone in this damn village evil?!
GM: Village of the Year award.
Nick: ... THAT EXPLAINS NOTHING!

Well, I know you guys are tired of me running Unknown Armies all the time, so let's play Riddle of Steel!

Yes, I converted a UA idea I had, why do you ask?

>>12316350
Best detective campaign ever.

>>12316165
FUND IT! FUND THE SHIT OUT OF IT!

You know, every other character is unique in some way. I know that's partially access to racial classes, but--Wait.
You're okay at everything, rounded out, no surprise there, but you've got MASSIVE charisma and points in Diplomacy/Intimidate?

I can work with this. Good news, you're the leader.

"Alright guys, I could put up with your 'bards in space piloting mechs', but come on... YOU JUST MADE THE THE ENEMY ORGASM WITH A SONG! If you aren't going to take this seriously I'm going to shoot so many missiles up your ass you'll taste the jet wash!"

No. Just no.

"I'm the son of Jesus Christ" is not a valid explanation for having super strength.

Alright, we've got the detective, his butler, and his robot girl sidekick. This is the makings of a pretty good near future detective noir game. Wait a minute, Rick you seem to have a lot of leftover points. Why does it say "Giant Robot" in your inventory?

>>12316436
Wait, what?

DM: So you're police officers...
Max: Can we be freelancers?
DM: Like private detectives?
Sam: I prefer the term Freelance Police.
DM: Alright. And you're noir detectives working on...
Sam: I'd like to be a talking dog detective.
DM: ...why?
Sam: It gives me an excuse to apply some cartoon logic to the game. I also get to make witty jabs at pop culture and all of it's strangeness.
DM: I'm giving you some leeway here, but don't push it.
Max: Oh! Can I be a psychotic bunny rabbit? And I can have a chainsaw named Gretta that acts as my voice of reason.
DM: Lose the chainsaw.
Max: No voice of reason. Gotcha.

>>12316454
Riki-Oh. Basically a Fist of the North Star-esque manga about a dude with super strength running around punching bad guys. Eventually it turns out his dad is Jesus, only Jesus is some kind of alien clone or something. I honestly have no goddamn idea. I stopped trying to follow the plot somewhere around the point where a dude used his own intestines as a weapon.

GM: Sam, we're playing an arctic campaign and your elf wants to be a dentist?

Sam: Yeah, something wrong?

GM: There's no use of a dentist dude, you have no combat skills what so ever. AND you took shitty proficiency with making toys. What the fuck dude.

Gene: I'm ready with my character.

GM: A fucking reindeer with a red nose? Goddammit, at least Jim's playing a guy with an axe looking for a monster.

>go to post
>Max image limit of 150 reached


>New Thread and Archive time
>Y/y

>>12316528
"Ultra Y"

GM: ... has to be the biggest freaking party I've ever run, how did you guys get me to ... Okay, we need to wait for Bill but I don't see why we can't see what you guys brought while we wait.
Present players: High schoolers.
DM: All of you?
Player1: Apparently. Kinda awkward, really.
DM: Let me see ... You're all playing girls- Bill, please tell me you're not playing a female high school student, I do not want to do that again.
Bill: No, actually.
DM: Good. Whaddaya have?
Bill: Ten-year-old wizard, just graduated from magic school.
DM: ... this is a modern game, Bill. I hadn't even figured on including magic. Let me- he knows one, two, thr-
Bill: I bought Polyglot. He can learn any language by hearing it for about a week.
DM: What's his primary, English?
Bill: Well, yeah.
DM: Good, you're an English teacher.
Bill: Wh-
DM: In Japan. They're your students. Now let me see- mute clown girl, future martian tinker, vampire witch, robot warrior, ghost, half-demon swordswoman, princess-
Player2: I am not! My character's dad is just well off.
DM: Same thing. Let's see... last one's relatively norm- these basically mean she can break magic.
Player1: Yeah. I heard Bill was doing magic, figured he'd been talking to you and it might be useful.
DM: I -can- make this work, but you guys have to realize that I'm going to take a few liberties.
Players: Okay...
DM: Right. Let's get started then.

>>12314406
>>12314406
>>12314406
did anybody do this?

>>12316600
NO

>>12316542
Oh god, what show is this? I'm in need of a laugh, and this sounds perfect.

>>12316629
Mahou Sensei Negima.
Guy famed for doing harem stories wants to do a shonen.
Editor says no.
He's like 'Well, how about some shonen elements?'
That gets to fly.
Then, 300 issues in, he's like 'This is selling well. I'm going to make it a shonen and there's nothing you can do about it.'
Also includes >>12315896.

already archived, where's the new thread?

>>12316648
wait you forgot the whole talking weasel from Wales? WTF mate?

>often adooks

even captcha agrees.

DM: Okay, who've we got in this game...
Pass me your sheets everyone.
What.
The.
Fuck?!
You're all school kids?!
Seriously!

James: Yep, we thought we could all be part of the same class or something, is that cool?

DM: Sure, I guess that could work right? You've all got some pretty fucked up flaws...hates teachers? Andrew, who're you playing.

Andrew: Well...umm...these guys never warned me, I was offline all week because my computer broke...

DM:...give me your sheet.

Joe: Well, my characters an ex-delinquent trying to get a proper job. Here.

DM:...'idiot'...'impulsive'...'lecherous'?...You've got a lot of flaws here...and a load of points in combat...and 'inspire'...oh...oh yes...*Trollface*

Andrew: ...you've got that look again...

DM:...let's do this...we being with Onizuka sitting in the mall under an escallator, looking up girls dresses as they go up...

GM: Ok, game time lets see what you made.
Tom: I made a Space Cop!
GM: Ok, let me see... WTF, a ring that can do everything and anything you imagine?
Tom: It's ok, he has a weakness to the color yellow.
GM: I see that, but it says you over came the weakness.
Tom: Ya, yellow was actually a sentient representative of fear. By accepting fear I overcame it.
GM: Fine, BBEG will be one your number, but wielding a Yellow ring that can do everything your ring can do, and cause fear. Oh and for right now your character can't do lethal damage.
Tom: What? How am I suppose to be an awesome space cop, if I can't use lethal force at will?
DM: You'll have to ask me for permission, who's next?
Jack: Me.
DM: Ok let me see.... again WTF. I said a Space campaign and you give me a person whom under anything other than yellow star gains invulnerability, heat vision, super speed...etc. AND you have the same ring as Tom and the "sentient representative of Will"? Fine, I'm giving him a weakness to lead. Any lead will kill him. First stop is to fight on a lead planet.

>>12316648
I put this into TvTropes.

I... The page...

I CAN SEE FOREVER.

>>12316845
Yeah, its fuckin' huge.
Is everyone else out of ideas? 'Cause I got a couple more if someone wants to make a new thread.

>>12316869
If you have ideas, go make the thread and link it here. Go forth, anon! Make haste! Get thee to thine destiny!

>>12316916
Alright, just a minute to write this up.

I've got an idea, but link me to the thread when it's up.

And here we are >>12317016

>>12315535
OMG awesome! :D

>>12317611
what is it from?

Nobody warned me tg was more weaboo than /a