SITREP
Current location: Highway en route to Cape Canaveral. Apparent roadblock ahead.
Final objective location: NASA cryogenic escape launch site, 25 miles east

Choosable Equipment:
>Style-Swiped Switchblade
Other Equipment: Pepper spray and refill, Ibuprofen, Duct tape, Water, Granola, Candy
Transportation: Vintage T-bird

Health: Mild injuries; scapes, bruising on throat

Chosen Ally: Lacille (The freckled, robust daughter of a rancher. She was raised to ride, to hay, to shoot, and to sing. You met her as a child. The two of you were inseparable, and promised to get married when you grew up. Something made you leave town abruptly, you can't recall what. She never really forgave you for that.)
Ally Health: Knife slice along stomach. Basic bandage applied.
Ally Weapon, if any: Small caliber semiautomatic pistol, steel toed shoes

>Where we left off last thread:
At least the humidity's lifting a bit. The wind on your face feels good too. You see Lacille bite her lip as she gives the recovered pistol a more thorough examination in this free moment. She's quite intent on her work, not noticing the wind buffeting her auburn hair around as she works the slide with steady hands. You try to remember what happened that got her so pissed off at you, but that voice back in the whiteness seemed to have been right about losing memories. Or maybe you were hallucinating, fuck if you know. At least she's still the sensible sort who never let something like a grudge get in the way of staying alive. Your musing is interrupted by her snapping her head up with a glare. "How about you watch the road?"

"I was just thinking about what we do when we get there," you counter. A little lie never hurt anyone. "Getting aboard one of those NASA escape vehicles isn't going to be easy. Canaveral's sure to be locked down, at least the base. I just realized that I might know a guy in the suburbs, but I don't know if he still lives here. Or if he's still alive--he was a crazy fucker before all this started happening. He's not really a friend either, but he might have some idea if we can't think of anything else. It'll be a crazy idea, but given the circumstances..."

You get a nice easy forty miles outside of Orlando--and just twenty five from Canaveral--before you see something up ahead. Looks like couple cars of some sort, one parked in the middle of each side of the highway.
You stop to give things an eyeful before you get close. There's a few people leaning against the cars, the ones on your side of the road facing you. Hard to see expressions from this far back, but you don't /see/ anyone holding a longarm.

"I don't like the looks of this," Lacille mutters, her face darkening. Or is that just the freckles bunching up? Eh, you'll have time for idle thoughts later. Or you'll be dead. What now?

>>12298934
Holy crap, apologies for wall of text.

Shit myself, then sit down.

>>12298934

walk up to them but stay a good 20 yards away , pistol at the ready have lacille stay in the car

>>12298952
Yeah, this I guess. Drive up a bit closer then get out and approach, but have her sit in the car ready with the pistol.

...Not sure if this won't get us killed...

>>12298952
>lacille stay in the car
driver's seat, engine on

"Yeah, I don't like it either. Wait in the car and be ready to cover me. I'll go up and check it out. May be, this is something honest, and just because most of the world is acting like animals doesn't mean we have to join them."
"If you say so. You're probably going to get killed, but it won't be because of my shooting."
"Sure, just be ready to hop into the driver's seat if it comes to it."

You slowly ease the car forward until you're a little over fifty yards away, then put it in park with the engine running. You step out with hands held up and open. As you start walking forward, one of the men gives a nod to his fellows on the other side of the road, and a previously unseen man with a broad twitchy grin steps out from around the car with a casually carried rifle.

The apparent leader calls out to you when you're about twenty-five yards out. "Whoa up there, buddy. This here's a service brought to you by our merry little band. We're warning you not to head farther past here. Liable to get you killed with all that's going on by the spaceheads. As I see it, we just saved your life with that highly valuable information. Now, this life-saving service comes with a fee. A rather hefty one, though we won't make a /complete/ beggar of you. You can pay up, or we can take it out of your hide. Your call."

The man with the obvious gun casually lowers his rifle in your general direction, still grinning.

Crap. What now?

>>12299050

get lacille to shoot the rifleman then when hes down run up and grab the rifle and then gun all of these brigand motherfuckers down

>>12299050

Tell Lacille to floor it, jump onto the bonnet of the moving car and jump off it at the rifle guy screaming BLOOD AND THUNDER and waving the switchblade around like a nut.

>>12299069
You're going to get us killed, aren't you?

>>12299080
Sup, Britfag.

You're also probably going to get us killed, but your way has a bit more style.

How about we DON'T CHARGE A GUY WITH A READY GUN, and try to get closer or less in the line of fire while continuing to talk. See what his "payment" entails.

>>12299069
>>12299080
Attack the man you see holding a gun?

>>12299110
Or try to find a more advantageous position while talking?

>Was waiting for some consensus but I'll push for it instead.

>>12299126

Guy is overconfident, not expecting anything but a quick and easy robbery. Holding the gun casually, presumably from the hip. The last thing ANY of them will expect if a flying knife wielding maniac.

Element of surprise, people.

>>12299126
Can "trick him" be an option too? Like, head back to the car saying we've got just the thing they'll want, then jump inside all Dukes of Hazard style and floor it?

I saw the dice rolls before and how close we were to dying just by a regular melee fight. I don't want to see us have to handle getting shot.

>Or try to find a more advantageous position while talking?
this and this >>12299069

>>12299147
Yeah, but your plan could end in failure pretty easily even if they had no guns. Telling our friend to floor it gets responded to with "BANG". Not "WHAAAAAT?"

>>12299147
> LOOK! OVER THERE!

>>12299154
this, they might have more guns than just the one we see
tricky is good

>>12299050
how do we know the rifle isn't empty?

>>12298920
This looks like a job for Michael Bay!

>mfw a complete split vote

Okay, next option to get to two votes takes it.

1) Trick them until you get back to the car, jump inside, haul ass.
2) See what they want as payment, try to get (closer? farther? sideways?) while talking. Then attack.
3) Attack immediately.
>VOTE

>>12299196
Empty? You don't know. How would you know, unless the chamber was open (it's not)?

>>12299215

1

>>12299215
3

Number 1.

1 + 3 = Driveby

>>12299242
THIS

>>12299198
>>Nah, closer to this, as was pointed out to me.

>1+3, eh? Roger that.

The thought of how close you came to death not even a day ago by some random looter is far too fresh in your mind for anything truly rash. Time to work smarter, not harder.

"Sure thing, pal," you respond cheerfully. "You know, I think I've got just the thing back here in the car that you gents will love," you continue as you spin and head quickly toward the T-bird.

"Hey, slow down a moment, I don't think you quite get how this wor--dammit!" he shouts, his dawning realization delayed long enough by your apparent compliance. "Le Roy, stop that guy! Violently!" He pulls a pistol of his own from the back of his waistband.

Too late, because you're diving back into the driver's seat with a smoothness that would do the Dukes proud. Given that was /the/ thing to do for an entire summer when you were younger, hardly a surprise. You shift drives and floor it as a bullet flies through the windshield, Lacille leaning around the side to fire back in return.

>Roll 1d100

rolled 46 = 46

>>12299308

WEST SIDE DAE WOO LANOS MUTHERFUCKER

>>12299323

oh man this looks average at best.

>46
>Eh, not horrible at least

Glass rains onto the seats as the aged windshield shatters from a second high-powered rifle round, and a headlight explodes from their leader's pistol. Dammit, and after you told that old man you'd keep the 'Bird safe... more importantly, it's keeping you from driving as suavely as you jumped, as you throw up an arm to keep glass out of your eyes. Lacille fires another two rounds at the now-scattering men before ducking back down and shouting at you angrily. "Neal, try driving straight if you want me hitting their CAR, let alone their heads!"

>Roll again, you're not past them yet, the T-bird's still picking up speed.

>>12299362

I also vote for shut up bitch.

>>12299390

FUCK

>>12299390
>>12299396
lol

rolled 36 = 36

>>12299362
DO YOU WANNA DRIVE , CUZ ILL PULL OVER AND LET YOU DRIVE , SEE IF I DONT

>36 oh no

"Shut up and shoot!" you shout back.
"You're making that really friggin' hard!"
"Do you wanna drive? I'll pull over and you can drive, just watch and see if I don't!"
"And trust you to shoot? Yeah ri--"
She's cut off as you swerve sideways around the road-blocking car. Well, as you try to. One of the men has jumped inside it, and it darts back into your path. Damn good thing you weren't going that fast yet, but as it is, clipping the end of sends you flying sideways toward the marshy ditch. Getting stuck in there might be... problematic, to say the least.

You've got a split second to keep the car on the road, as another round of gunshots reach your ears.

>Roll d100. dice+1d100 in email field.

rolled 61 = 61

Everyone dies.

>61 well, one of them dies

You wrench the wheel back, as Lacille leans back and fires from right behind your head. FRIGGING OW, that's loud. Your ears are ringing worse than you figured possible. But as she leans back into the seat, you see a grin stretched across her tanned face. It's the old grin from when her daddy used to teach the two of you to shoot. You wonder which one she got, but asking would be a bit pointless right now. You hit the gas, and take off down the road.

In the sideview mirror, you see the car on the other lane of the highway turning to head after you, and the one you just barged past doing the same, though much more slowly.

What now?

>>12299520
brb, looking up car pursuit strategies

rolled 60 = 60

>>12299575
do that move where were in reverse and facing back towards our pursuers so lacille can shoot out their tires

>>12299575
wtf there's nothing that's useful to us now on google
>no busy highways
>no police i assume
>no busy intersections
fuck it let's just put the pedal to the metal

>60

"I'm gonna try something. See if you can't shoot out their tires," you say, switching gears and swinging the wheel hard. The tires screech across pavement as the T-bird spins around.
Lacille says something you can't hear, then again, then finally holds her hands a ways apart and points at the little pistol.
Ah. Too far. Well, that's nothing you can't fix. You put the pedal down, and roar toward the hunk of steel coming down your piece of road.

>Roll to shoot, or any other craziness you come up with

rolled 82 = 82

>>12299647

FUCK YEAR

>>12299656

CUZ TODAY IS A GOOD DAY

>>12299647
and we need to get bigger guns if we're gonna go road warrior again in the forseeable future

rolled 86 = 86

>82
>mfw a good roll in this quest? No way.

Your hearing finally starts coming back. Just in time to finish Lacille saying, "--one better. Watch this."

The passenger of the SUV you're barreling towards is leaning out of his window with a gun, but he's ignored. Lacille holds the pistol carefully, both hands providing stability, just like daddy taught her. Then the gun gives a single report, and you see a neat hole form in the driver's side windshield of the oncoming vehicle.

>Guess who gets to roll a 1d100 for extra results?

rolled 33 = 33

>>12299715

come on dice , keep being good to me

rolled 92 = 92

>>12299723
FUUUUUUUUUUUU-

rolled 61 = 61

>>12299735

USE THIS

>>12299739
not this>>12299739

this>>12299735

>Well, well, look what I got. 86.

The glare on the glass vanishes just in time for you to see the driver slump sideways, his hands following with an iron grip on the wheel. The truck rolls as you hit the brake on your own car. The headless body of the passenger is trailing a crimson stream as the truck comes back around, closer, closer. Time seems to slow down as the distance gets rapidly shorter. Okay, you're gonna need more brake. Roll, roll, roll, closer, closer... okay really now, full on brake, this might not be so good... closer, and you note in the back of your mind that it looks like someone's painted the road behind the truck... okay fuck this turning the wheel now and--

>>12299776
You skid to a stop right as the hurtling truck gives its last roll, tapping the side of your car slightly. Le Roy's rifle, still held limply in the now headless former leader's hand, hangs right above you. The scope is shattered well and truly, but somehow the rest of the firearm looks mostly intact.

What now?

>>12299805
take rifle and bug out
to cape canaveral!

>>12299805
Give rifle to Lacille, see if she can't snipe the other car.

rolled 31 = 31

>>12299824
this too , i'll throw in a roll for good measure

rolled 49 = 49

>>12299913
ammo it up

>31 (and no replies, so reposting this to fix grammar/spacing)

You snatch the rifle from the man's hand.
"See? Smooth driving, smooth shooting. Nice job," Lacille says. A rare compliment? Well, not like you didn't earn it.

"Scope's fucked, but any chance of using it on our other friends over there?" you reply. Business first.

"No. Reason being that one: they're rabbiting." Indeed. The other driver must not have seen the lack of scope, or maybe the earlier shooting has him entirely too fearful, but he's headed in a direction that does not involve you.

"And two? I'm not shooting that until I make sure it's not going to blow up on me. Doesn't look damaged, but I'm gonna be sure. Oh, I hope it isn't. It'll be so nice to have something that's NOT this dinky pistol. Plus, I used up a full magazine back there, and only have the one left. Okay, three rounds loaded in the rifle... not saying we should stick around, because we shouldn't, but you mind us checking for more ammo first?"

Well, do you?
>And if so, roll.

>49

You hop out and give the headless corpse a pat-down while Lacilles checks the sideways truck. You find a handful of rifle cartridges jammed into his jacket pocket, as well as a wallet identifying him as one James Sabido. The money in it is probably worthless now, but you might as well take it anyways. Interestingly enough, you notice suddenly, he's wearing several rings of remarkably fine craftsmanship. Such is the life of a highway robber, perhaps? No matter, he won't need them now, and maybe you'll find a use for them. Into your pocket they go.

"You won't believe this. Guess what I found?" Lacille says as she heads over. "Nothing really in the way of ammo, but the driver had this of all things on him." It's a massive blackpowder pistol. Looks like a wristbreaker; it must be at least fifty caliber. At least. "Not only that, but I'd swear he must have had plans to use it--he had a pouch with three slugs and prewrapped powder charges on his belt. Ramrod's still there too." She takes the rifle rounds from you gleefully, and after a moment's reflection hands over the weathered pistol.

What now?

rolled 92 = 92

>>12300070
NOW to cape canaveral

>92

The rest of the drive gives remarkably empty road. At one point, you see a turtle.

Lacille checks over the rifle and deems it good. Long range shooting will be tricky with it as the iron sights don't seem calibrated right, but she's quite happy to have something other than the cheap pistol. She stays busy with that while you drive.

Something that really should be considered: will you try to find the guy you knew from here, or continue without him?

You've got a bit of time for thinking or talking before you get to Canaveral, if you decide to use it. Enjoying the trip is also an option. How about it?

>>12300178
He might be able to help us. We should at least make a basic effort to find him, we've got 4-5 days left right?

>>12300300
This, plus enjoy the trip. We were important to eachother once, we should be again.

>>12300300
That's until the rock hits, I think NASA is launching before that. But yeah, given that I have NO FRIGGING CLUE how we'll get in otherwise, might as well see if he can help.

>>12300326
Should we find out why she's pissed off? Or maybe just wait on that? How do you ask that without coming off like a douche anyways?

>>12300346
Two magic words, "I'm sorry." Women will decide it's your fault already, make conscesions when it won't hurt. We may not be at fault, but she thinks we are. If we might die in 4 days, we should die happy, rather than argueing.

>>12300377
We don't even know what it was that happened. Not that I'm saying you're wrong.

>>12300384
She's not mad at why we left, she's mad that we left.

Yeah, you'll give finding the guy a shot. What was his name, it began with a K. With a K... Hmmm. Klep. Yeah, that was it. Weird name. Well, weird guy too. If he's got a plan to get into Canaveral, it might just involve a trebuchet and hang gliders. Actually, that might even work... yeah, and then you can ride a T-rex to the shuttle, why not. More likely, if he's been paying attention to the impending doom he plans to get outrageously high on the most unlikely of substances as his final act. His place isn't too hard to find on the map at least. Maybe he's still there.

That decided, you figure that with this being the last moments of Earth, whether or not you're still on it when the end happens, having Lacille be angry at you is something that ought to get fixed. Lucky you, you're man enough to apologize.

"Hey, Lacille... I'm sorry."
She looks at you.
"For leaving."
She starts shaking a bit. Okay, good, let her cry about it, give your shoulder as needed, and once she's done things will be right as rain.
"You bastard," she snarls. Wait, what.
"You think saying 'sorry' makes up for leaving me like that?" You think there's a bit of tears in her eyes.

She takes a breath, and you have a moment to interject. Say something, or don't interrupt?

>>12300470
No, it doesn't. But I have to say it anyways, because I am.

>>12300498
You think it didn't hurt me either? I did what I had to do, I would never have chosen to leave you.

>>12300506
It killed me to leave you behind, to know how much I was hurting you. It still kills me.

>>12300530
It may not make things right, maybe nothing will. But I had to tell you before this was over, while I still could.

>>12300498

This

>>12300651
Shake of the head. I don't remember WHY I left. I honestly cannot think of any reason why I would. You don't have to believe me, but it's the truth. I JUST DON'T REMEMBER.

"No, it doesn't. But I have to say it anyways, because I am," you say before she has a chance to continue.

"Well I hope it makes any little bit of guilt you may have had feel so much better," she says.

"You think it didn't hurt me either? I did what I had to do, I would never have chosen to leave you. It killed me to leave you behind, to know how much I was hurting you. It still kills me," you respond

"Well I'm just all /sorts/ of interested to hear what it was, Neal. In fact, let's take a brief trip down memory lane.

"Here's me, the blushing bride at the altar more excited than she's ever been in her whole life.
"Here's me just a little bit later, humiliated more than I ever thought possible after you left me waiting at the altar without so much as a goodbye. I waited, all day. Even after everyone else had left.
"Then there's me two months after that, still the talk of the town and only now hearing the first inkling of where you might be. And then, the word not even from you.

"So go ahead, Neal, explain it to me."

Well, shit.

Shit. You know, now that she said it, it's like the memories were dropped back into place in your mind. But you have not a fucking clue why you left.

>"It may not make things right, maybe nothing will. But I had to tell you before this was over, while I still could..."
>Use this now, or something else?

>>12300662
(Sorry, posted that and saw a major, major fuckup in the writing as I hit Submit. Deleted so as to fix and repost right away, but not fast enough. Fixed now though.)

>>12300667
Wow. That's a really dick move on our part.

>>12300679
It's cool. My post still stands, though.

I guess go with the >>12300662 since I don't have anything better to say.

You shake your head. "I don't remember WHY I left. I honestly cannot think of any reason why I would. You don't have to believe me, but it's the truth. I JUST DON'T REMEMBER."

"You're saying you had an important reason to leave, so important you couldn't even tell me before you took off, but you can't remember what it was? Fantastic, Neal. That's just special."

She takes a breath.

"You know, if you'd up and told me that you'd gotten cold feet, and wanted to wait, or even call it off, I'd have understood. But you lit out of town without telling a soul, and the next I hear you're forty miles south of Tuscon. You don't spend all day trying, and failing, to be the brave cast aside bride who refuses to cry in front of everyone without learning how to hate the person responsible."

"So, apology accepted. I'm ever so glad you got that off your chest." She turns to stare out the passenger side, hair buffeted by the empty windshield, as she tries to hide the tears.

Well. Anything else to say, or just drive until you reach Klep's place?

>>12300898
I still love you.

>>12300898
Just keep driving. We can try and think of something to say later. Plus, the driver getting emotional won't help us avoid trouble.

>>12300898
If someone has something good to say, now's the time. Man, we were an asshole though.

>>12300898
Continue diving. Enough has been said for now.

Give her a gift?

>I still love you
>Continue diving. Enough has been said for now.

Prevalent options, but which?

>>12300986
Well, if we want her angry/confused/whatever the fuck else, "I still love you." If we just want to wait for a better time to say this, say nothing.

>>12301010
I just realized. You know what we have on us? Really nice rings. Not sure if it's a good idea or going to get us killed by angry former fiancee though.

>>12301050
Meh, worth a shot. Present her with one of the rings, but don't say anything. No apologies, no explanations. Just hand her the ring.

>>12300898
Let's not aggravate her anymore. Keep the best ring reserved for a better time, keep driving. We'll get our chance to make amends, even if it's only for one last time.

>>12301069
Bad idea!! Very bad idea!!! Do we really want to trudge up those memories even worse right now? That shit would make her snap even more, could even get us shot.

>>12301069
No apologies, no explanations, sure, but is "I still love you" on the table?

I would like to note right now that her having the majority of the guns makes me nervous when we're thinking of doing something like this.

>>12301089
No, not even "I still love you." We just scrambled the fuck out of her mind by trying to justify things. Let her get her thought settled. Until then, anything we do will only make things worse.

>>12301107
Alright, alright. Just keep driving then?

>>12301123
Yeah, we kinda fucked up there, so we should just let things settle.

>>12301143
Sounds like a plan. Let's find this guy, if he's even still alive.

>Still riding the 92 for travel encounters, lucky you
You sit in silence the rest of the trip. It seems to take a lot longer than before, and the wind on your face has begun to annoy you by the time you finally pull up to Klep's place and cut the engine. He's living on the second floor of an early 1900s building, the heavy brick sort, for which he somehow managed to get the condemnation papers to go missing. The building looks mostly intact, though you're not sure if the glass door on the first floor being shattered is a recent occurrence or not. You start for the door anyways, Lacille behind you with the rifled lowered, when no less than five German Shepherds come trotting out of the building toward you.

>>12300954
don't say that, not now

>>12301181
Oh, Jesus. Do they look angry? Or hungry? Or both? Or neither?

>>12301292
Some of the former, maybe a tiny bit of the latter.

>>12301181
Lacille goe back towards the truck, opens a door, rolls down the window and aims the pistol through it. Approach the dogs slowly in a nonaggressive stance. They might not be a threat, but don't let our guard down.

>>12301305
Do we have any jerky or something we can distract them with?

>Item list is at top of thread. Meant to have you roll earlier but since I forgot, we'll just keep things moving.

Lacille starts heading to the car to cover when you hear a familiar voice.

"Neal? Hooooly shit man, is that really you? Man I never thought I'd be seeing you again. Man, and now of all times. Shit, man, this is heavy. Oh man, you are not gonna BELIEEEEVE what I've got here in the back lot--no shit man, it's a fucking trebuchet man! SO fucking heavy, like you would not believe!" Yeah, same Klep you remember. He finally seems to notice the dogs. "Aw man, they weren't giving you any gruff, were they? Tell you what man, I had this great idea involving a dog circus and--Aw shit man, here I'm being a total doucher--who's your friend there? Hey there, I'm Klep, you're a sight for sore eyes, and it's real nice meeting you. Don't mind me."

Well then. What now?

>>12301386
Well. I'm interested in the trebuchet. Motion to Lacille to stow her piece and follow me and Klep. Plus, dog circus? The fuck?

>>12301386
Exchange pleasantries, bullshit with him for a while and listen to some of his crazy stories. Have a good time before getting down to business.

You wave to Lacille to stow her piece, and she doesn't wait for you to introduce her. "I'm Lacille. Nice to meeting you."
"You mind us stepping inside, Klep?"
"Heeeell NO I don't mind, my good man. Let us enter unto this here my abode. Neal man, how you been? Haven't seen you since that business up in Chahleston," Klep says, putting a terrible Boston accent on the last word.
"Been getting by, Klep."
"Well man, things have gotten all sorts of mad around here, but they cannot compete with the Klep. Oh wait, check this shit outSIIIIIIDE--Hells yes, here it is man, the MotherFuckerFlinger. No SHIT."
Just as he said, there's a full sized wooden trebuchet assembled in the back lot of the building, with what looks like just enough room for the launch end to throw a payload. How he got this here... well, it's Klep. Things like this happen.
"Hey man, you guys hungry? I don't have much in the way of choice man, but what I do have is one point three million saltine crackers inside, and I don't know how many little boxes of this crazy Korean chocolate milk drink thing. Love them things, man."

>Just tell me when to get down to business.

>>12301533
AFTER SOME MOTHERFUCKING CHOCOLATE MILK

>>12301533
Never turn down free chocolate milk. Go inside and chill with him for a little while, he is an old friend after all. Ask him how the fuck he got ahold of the MotherFuckerFlinger.

>Nice to meeting you."
>Fuck my grammar, but I won't delete it!

The dogs nose at your hands the whole time.
"We brought a bit of food with us Klep, if it's lunch you're after," Lacille offers.
"Nah man, food was had. I'm all sorts of good."
"Well Klep, I make it a rule to never turn down chocolate milk."
"Man, I don't think this stuff even comes from a fucking cow, man. But we are BRINGING the BOX, hells yes."

He's not kidding about that, either. 235 mL cartons, like the kind you had in grade school. He brings out a box of 40. For each of you. "Klep, do you live off this stuff?"
"Man, I EXIST off this stuff. The saltines too man, those things are delicious."

"So, how'd you get ahold of the MotherFuckingFlinger?"
"Man, when I say that is a crazy story, man you would not BELIEVE the shit that happened." Wait. If Klep says it was a crazy story by his book, then by any normal person's rationale it's utterly incomprehensible how he got from start to finish.
"So it started with this chick from Denmark, man. But Klep man, you don't speak Denmark-eseian! But that doesn't matter man, because this chick is no-shit deaf! So I'm all making with the Jedi hand tricks and wrapping my ears with gauze and she's trying to steal my carpet. I shit you not, man. She DID steal it, too. This is where it gets weird."

>As before, just say when.

>>12301700
Fuck, I have work. Keep this thread alive till I get back, guys!

>>12301740
We'll archive it. Check sup/tg/.

>>12301758
Alright, will do

>>12301700
Go on. I wanna hear about the Denmakese Carpet thief.

"I wake up in the morning man and the Denmark chick is sitting next to me on a plane and we're headed to Sudan or somewhere thereabouts. I'm all like, man I don't SPEAK Spanish, this is no good. So as I'm approaching the last couple bites of a delicious ham and cheese omlette--not just any omlette man, this was a 2 Plate sized omlette, if you can eat it all and chase it with a glass of ice cold chocolate milk you win us all a free breakfast and an ihop pancake smiley tank top fit for tanning man, this omlette was HEAVY. Anyways, we touch down man, I run screaming from the Denmark chick, but I didn't know she had my carpet and NO SHIT my keg tap then man or shit would have been way different. I get to the docks and got on a boat, man, makes sense right? Pretty sure those guys were pirates or something actually.

>When Klep is desired to shut up, say so.

"Whoa, whoa slow down Klep. Now can you tell me what...er..PRACTICAL supplies you have? We only have a few days to get to the shuttle and a plan to figure."

(Also, any other friends/allies we can think of that might be nearby? Leigh or Joseph live in Florida?)

"The Denmark chick of course hadn't seen the last of the Klep, man. I'm on this little dinghy or whatever you call those things man, and water is no good to me, plus there was no way they were giving me a gold tooth. No cavities, man, shit sucks. Thug pirate credit minus one. I say 'what if I don't brush that one tooth' and it's like 'no, doesn't work that way.' SUCKS, man. But you can't keep the Klep down. I get on boat number two, there may have been rockets involved. I realize the absolutely brilliant plan of making CLOTHES DRIERS work like MICROWAVES, man, this idea is going places, and I haven't had a chance to microwave my skivvies yet to see how well it works but that'll be soon, man. So--"
"Whoa, whoa slow down Klep," you interrupt. "Can you tell me what...er..PRACTICAL supplies you have? We only have a few days to get to the shuttle and a plan to figure."
"Actually, I wanna hear about the Denmarkese Carpet Thief," Lacille chuckles.

You think a moment as to if you could get Leigh and Joseph too, but there's just not going to be enough time. They're not even close to Florida. Heck, the fact that you managed to find Klep here was something of a small miracle.

>Decide what Klep should be Klepping about.

"While the drive might not be long enough to hear ALL of the story, I'm sure Klep can tell it on the way..."
(To Klep)
" Do you know anything about what's ahead of us? The situation at Canaveral?"
*Smile* "Any tricks you have up your sleeve that we can use?"

Archived it!

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Death%20Quest
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12298920/

Give it a vote!

"While the drive might not be long enough to hear ALL of the story, I'm sure Klep can tell it on the way," you reply to Lacille. "It's time for business."

You turn to Klep. "Do you know anything about what's ahead of us? The situation at Canaveral?"
"Man, I've stayed far far away right here, man. Shit has been WACK these past few days and there's Klep crazy and dumb crazy, man. That shit is DUMB crazy. All sorts of assholes pouring in like gravy on delicious mashed potatoes. WE are the delicious mashed potatoes, man. Us and NASA. Think about that."

"Any tricks you have up your sleeve that we can use?"
"Am I wearing my jacket with the fifty sleeves? No, it looks like I just have the two. We're good, man."

What now?

>>12301923
>>12302131
If you're going to demand the story be interrupted, then you damn well best continue with the business stuff.

>>12302209

klep's ability to help us seems like it wont extend far beyond beinga meatshield
but anyway , ask him why its so crazy down thre and if he knows of any gun stores around

"Any gun stores around here Klep?"
"Well man, the closest thing you're gonna see is THIS," he says as he flexes his left arm, "and THIS," he continues, flexing the right. "Or what you brought, man, but really it's no dice."

"So why's it so crazy down there?"
"There's like no spots, but everyone wants one, man. Not this cat though. Man, now why would I spend my last week on Earth--a truly blessed week indeed for there is no man to keep me down from enjoying deservedly righteous personal enlightenment--fighting for a cryotube sucking ammonia? That shit tastes TERRRRRRIBLE, man. For a chance at not dying, man? I'll take my week and enjoy the SHIT out of it. I have something I've been working on for years, man. I'm gonna name it KLEP, all caps of course man, and it will be the most amazing high that anyone, anywhere, anytime, man, ever has had. I think. Also I think it will kill me, but it'll last three days at least man, like a nutmeg high only without any of the suck and a hundred times the FUCK YES. Since I'm gonna die anyways man, I might as well go out with one helllll of a rush, you know?"

What now?

>Tell me /tg/

>>12302479
"Klep man, you sure you wanna go out with a fizzle? The Klep I know is one righteous BADASS, why not go out with a bang? The KLEP might be the greatest high on Earth, but why not make it higher? Make it the greatest high in all CREATION! Come with us! Let's take this grandstand into the stars and add a million more stories.

"Klep man, you sure you wanna go out with a fizzle? The Klep I know is one righteous BADASS, why not go out with a bang? The KLEP might be the greatest high on Earth, but why not make it higher? Make it the greatest high in all CREATION! Come with us! Let's take this grandstand into the stars and add a million more stories."
"Well man, I... shit. You speak sagely words, my good man. You must be a wizard sent from the G-man up on high to deliver this tiding of go forth and be awesome. We will ride the rocket high, and it will be glorious."

>KLEP ADDED TO PARTY (THE DUDE NOT THE DRUG)

What now?

Ask Klep to gather only what he needs and anything he thinks might help. (Includes KLEP, always a good final option should we need it....) We probably can't take the dogs, Sitrep on how close we are to the shuttle and how much time we have left?

SITREP
Current location: Suburbs of Cape Canaveral
Final objective location: NASA cryogenic escape launch site, about 4 miles southeast

Choosable Equipment:
>Style-Swiped Switchblade
Other Equipment: Massive blackpowder pistol (3 rounds), pepper spray and refill, Ibuprofen, Duct tape, water, granola, candy, several really nice/expensive rings
Transportation: Vintage T-bird, no windshield, 1 headlight

Health: Mild injuries; scapes, bruising on throat

Chosen Ally: Lacille (The freckled, robust daughter of a rancher. She was raised to ride, to hay, to shoot, and to sing. You met her as a child. The two of you were inseparable, and promised to get married when you grew up. Something made you leave town abruptly, you can't recall what, but in the process you left her standing at the altar. She never really forgave you for that.)
Ally Health: Knife slice along stomach. Basic bandage applied.
Ally Weapon, if any: Small caliber semiautomatic pistol (1 magazine), rifle (handful of rounds), steel toed shoes

Additional Ally: Klep (He owns a trebuchet. He invented what he claims is the most potent drug known to man and named it after himself, all caps. He is a little odd.)
Ally Health: No injuries. Not currently high.
Ally Weapon, if any: Meter-long blowgun

>ORDERS BEING PROCESSED, POST TO FOLLOW, SITREP MAY BE DATED SLIGHTLY AS RESULT

"Well then, Klep, we need you to gather only what you need and anything you think might help."
"Does--"
"Yes, that includes the KLEP."
"You're a good man, Charlie Brown."

Klep begins loading the T-bird with stuff, though you're not sure how well he took the "essential" part to heart. There goes five cases of chocolate milk drink, a double-sized cracker box, something that you assume is the KLEP, a blowgun that's over a meter long--wait a second. That can't be necessary.

"Klep, just what on earth are you doing, we don't have room for every random thing in the T-bird."
"My man, this is a South American hunting blowgun, capable of near-silent dart shots nearly 20 meters away. Man, how is this not necessary, I even have the darts!"
"I... okay, Klep, if you say so."
"Heavy. Think we could fit the trebuchet in there, man?"
"No."

>We probably can't take the dogs
:(

Well, I mean if anyone WANTS to take the dogs then that's okay with me. I just don't see many people piping in for a response.

>>12303175
5 big, mean dogs at our command? That's a lot of FUCK OFF SIR right there.

Alright, alright if we can fit 'em, take 'em. Only four miles away anyways. Might get some of the crowd out of our way. Let's get this show on the road if no one has any objections?

"Hey man... uh... the dogs got into your candy. Yeah. Good news though man is that they're all in the car and ready to go. Your lady friend might have to share her seat though. Also her foot room. Other than downing as MUCH of this delicious chocolate milk drink before we rock on out, what's the capital P plan, big man?"

>And if you don't have one, then a planning session works too. Klep will try to bring his own... unique talents to the table.

>mfw Klep
Oh man, awesomesauce for days. I'm glad to see this quest running again.
And let's get this show on the road, we need to hit the deep-freeze and get the fuck off this rock.

>inb4 we slowly die in space. Bad End.

Anyone have any ideas? Probably might be smart to go over there and observe from a distance. Does Klep have any binoculars? He must if he wants to use a trebuchet.

Otherwise ask each of them for advice to deal with:
A) Crowds
B) Ways to sneak onto a shuttle.

>Yay plenty of awesome players :D
>Oh noes ready to collapse and thread in autosage D:
>Whyyy?

>Death Quest will return sooner than later, probably at its usual hard to find players at time. Rocks may be gotten off of and you will likely die, possibly in Bad End fashion, but it will be entertaining. Klep may also provide more storytime upon demand.

>>12298920

sauce on OP's pic?

>>12303451
>Does Klep have any binoculars?
"Nothing doing man, but I do have this entirely heavy looking glass. If you're half blind you'll never know what you're missing, I love this thing. It's like I'm a pirate all over again but less of the bad food."

>>12303451
Rest of this at the start of next thread, crashing hard now.

>>12303518
Three Panel Soul guest week I think. Not sure the contributor.

>>12303524
Okie dokey, start the engine and switch on the radio. If it has a radio...

Last thing before I am fully too tired to GM--thanks everyone for playing, and thanks to the guy who archived it, I like the description. Also thanks for votes, you guys are awesome and now I'm babbling.