Throw the spork into the microwave, or toaster while it's plugged

When in doubt kill everyone

>>12113320

I don't just want to kill the players, that would be dickish and I'd fell like I was railroading.

I was thinking more of suggestions for encounters or something.

To make the spork useful, make the child in the vacation home use the spork for a meal. When the time is ripe, the spork player will jump into his throat and choke him to death, and they will think it was just a stupid kid.

Also; I can't tell if this is a real game or a joke.

Have the toaster face down some electricity based enemies. The others lack electronic parts so they'll be resistant while the toaster will be susceptible to them.

The spork character just needs some help re-align her stats properly. While she can't do as well as a spoon or a fork, she can have access to certain spork-only powers that were released in the latest source book.

Any chance we can get a pdf of this? I tried google and, coming up with no hits, I must suspect that this is a troll until I can actually find at least a website for the source material.

>>12113333
Suggest the Spork player look into the Dusters and Drainage splatbook. Vaccuum cleaners are top tier.
After a few sessions, have Dogs invade the house while the human family is away. Vacuum's time to shine!
Their innate bonuses to scare canines will make the player glad they dumped the spork

>>12113333

Well, the faucet always gets bonuses against the electric types, and old fashioned meat-grinders always require a team effort to jam

Seems pretty clear to me.

The toaster can't do shit unless he's pugged in. Have a storm knock out the power, or cause power surges that could really hurt him. Since he's a power gamer, I assume he picked up Extension Cord so he can stay juiced at all times, meaning he's always pugged in. But I bet you he doesn't have Surge Protection because it's pretty situational. Fuck him over that way.

As for the spork.... eh, I can't really see a solution. The whole 'flawed character=DEEEEP' thing is true in all systems if the player is retarded. Maybe have a drawer of rusted sporks, spifes, and knorfs to show her that sporks are useless. You can have her unload the character there and pick up something useful, like a pair of chopsticks. I bet she loves the weaboo, it'll be an easy sell.

>>12113306
Where's the picture from again? It seems that I have memories of it but I can't remember.

discovery chance is 0. The humans aren't even in the home, they're off doing normal everyday stuff. I removed it to make the game run more smoothly.

Like I said, first time in a new system and the discovery rolls are overly complicated... but I guess its there for a reason. I could always just have the humans show up for an early vacation I guess. But that would ruin some of the not twinked characters choices, The knife decided he wanted to Fine China and the spoon took the option for being a collectible.

kitchen appliance game?

Gives new meaning to the term "Power Gamer', eh?

>>12113404

The Brave Little Toaster, one of the scariest children's films of all time.

>>12113415
Oh no, Fire, how scary. I had cousins cry because of this movie, meanwhile I was perfectly fine with it.

>>12113397
>>12113396
>>12113374

So hurt the toaster with power issues and give the spork a show of how useless she's being and an option to drop?

Sounds good to me, thanks for the help guys

>>12113404

A kids movie called the brave little toaster. A perfect example of how fun Kitchen Wars can be, if everyones on the same power level that is

Spork is quite useful, you just should use magpies - they like shiny objects, fork is abducted by them, and on rescue mission spoon finds out it's useless (extremly low attack) and toaster is out of power (isn't plugged, as 12113397 wrote). Spork saves the day!

>>12113427

That's not why it's scary. It's scary because you have an air conditioner (resembling Jack Nicholson) that goes crazy and explodes, a toaster being dropped into a bathtub, and hundreds of living, sentient cars being turned into scrap:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqT2uOa1-d0

>>12113464

The knife and spoon player like to use the Kitchenpult maneuver. I daresay the poor bird wouldn't see it coming. Flying knife coming out of nowhere would fuck it up pretty hardcore.

It seems sporky doesn't want to have anything to do with combat, and thats the issue. She basically is using the game to monolouge. I instituted a 1 minute talking limit last game because she was getting out of hand

>>12113495
before the magpie encounter, you can design a challenge to dull knife so the kitchenpult is useless.

Something to cut through glass to save the errant kitchen pot

Dem fucking pots man

Oh thank god! Finally some recognition for Kitchen Wars!

Kettle player, STEAM UP IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER!

>>12113551

Oh seriously fuck you!

Kettles need to take a motherfucking break. One fucking power and it hurts your allies too. You're no better than the toaster player the OP was talking about.

I once played a game of this. One of the most awesome experiences of my life.

We played as a group of cutlery in a mostly abandoned housing complex. The DM was amazing he set us up against a knife empire. The knives were getting ready to take over the whole complex.

The game was amazing, it had intrigue, since we had a knife in the party, we saw the effects the warmachine of the knives was having on the typical spoon. We spoke to the wise refrigerator who had seen more than anybody, we enlisted the aid of the glassware... Finally we fought the BBEG, who was actually the stove, he was just trying to end his life. He figured if the knives started a revolution the humans would destroy the home, him along with it. Poor thing hadn't been cleaned in over 10 years...

WTF is kitchen war?

>>12113713

>Doesn't know Kitchen Wars

Is it really still summer?

>>12113713
I fucking second this!!

Also captcha is play wirewit, does that mean if I play this I play something with wires that is witty maybe an alarm clock

ice tray here
Enjoy my dual-element wielding mundanes

Blenders can be a good counter to Toasters. Only problem is they're going to need support, but that's where the Knives and Forks come in handy. One Blender can easily ruin a Toasters day.

Microwave posse, represent!

>>12113763

Every other player hates you. You have 1/5th the movement of an average APPLIANCE let alone cutlery.

Besides the constant "guys we have to go back to the freezer, I'm melting"

Really unless an adventure is in the fridge itself most of that temperature centric stuff is useless

>>12113797
I cannot say how many plans have been ruined by the power-gaming ice tray needing to refresh his dailies.

>>12113793
awfully cocky for something who is so thoroughly screwed by scissors

I swear, all your electronic types forget scissors, especially ones with the rubber-handles add-on for immunity to the shock damage

Link to this stuff or your all making it up!

>>12113826

Fuck yes scissors!

functionality of a knife, power of the pliers without needing to get the Tools and Stools splat.

I love you

Radio player here. 0 Discovery? Fucking hell that'd be easy mode for me.

Although half the fun is in the fact you can't talk too much, lest the humans notice the noise.

>>12113797
>>12113818
Not my fault your dumbass player didn't select any water powers

I mean the draw of the class is dual elements, use it newbs

>>12113848
>your
>elfsniffingfingers.jpg

>>12113858
I've been playing Radios since they came out. Just disguise your commentary as a DJ doing shout-outs.
>This one goes out to Debbie, a classy kind of lady who is walking into the kitchen looking for whatever made that bump noise a minute ago. Now, here's The Killers with "All These Things That I've Done". Take it away, Killers.

See? Done and done.

>>12113848
Go pirate stuff on your own. We're not here to give you shit.

This developer needs more love. I love the fluff for laptops.

>>12113858
Radio's are got tier for distractions/ making large scale effects

last time i played a radio I convinced a kid to put our fork being played by that guy into an electric socket

>>12113882

I never understood how combat as the radio is done...

I understand they are fantastic as lookout and stuff but what /else/ do they do?

>>12113797
>Really unless an adventure is in the fridge itself most of that temperature centric stuff is useless

Either that or it's some twinky "take five days to kill the BBEG oven at no risk to ourselves" tactic, yeah.

OP, I'd say firstly, look at the examples of play in the main rulebook. They're pretty underpowered for "serious" play - one player's a ice cream scoop - but also really fun. Or you could have villains with lots of moving parts like pianos, clocks, anything with wheels or speakers she can stab - anything an extra piece of cutlery would be good against.

As for the toaster player, if he's a power gamer, depower him. That'll teach him a lesson.

>>12113882
Yeah, it's fun isn't it?

Half the power of that class is giving your comrades info while the humans are RIGHT THERE. So 0 Discovery would make the Radio both easy as well as useless.

But seriously OP, why the fuck did you play it at 0 Discovery?!

>>12113894
You play with net access or without?

I swear the whole "I know all" bit gets real old, real fast

Thank god for Worms and Viruses: Aggressive Tek

>>12113903
You never looked at the static wave attack did you?

everything in range has to make a save or they lose their action

kinda screws up your party though

>>12113903
I had a speed volume option; paid for it with an "Excessive Power Needs" drawback. I could crank it up to eleven and I had a few tracks pre-loaded (fucking dailies, to boot) which could do actual damage. The one which saved my ass a few times was an opera singer hitting a high note which could crack glass.
>BBEG: group of shotglasses.

pic related: mfw

Is there a source or website, or some information about the developer or something where I can learn more about this Kitchen Wars? It sounds very fantastic and I'd like to learn more. Google and Wikipedia come up with nothing.

>>12113927
Whoa, man. I would *never* static wave my party. We've got a vacuum cleaner, two lamps and a really, really tall oscillating fan and that would totally bone the party.

>>12113919

I wanted to streamline the game a bit. We're pretty used to DH and 3.5 so it seemed like a good idea till they knew the system

Apparently it really wasn't

I'll bring in the humans after warning the players, I can't exactly drop discovery rolls on them when I told them there wouldn't be any, ever.

>>12113933
Shattering glass is amazing if you're on a glass table or need to escape out a window

No one ever expects it

>>12113959
True, you did say vacation home.

Perhaps it's time for human vacation.

>>12113959
This is a great time to introduce the massive havok of the Renovations books

Paint rushes and power tools, ho!

>>12113961
I used it once while we had a streetlight attack us during a midnight raid at the electronics store next door, to free some POW iPods (hang tough, bros, if you're out there..) and I got popped by the bulb cover when I hit the high note.
Feelsbadman.jpg

>>12113959
Have thieves break in

fail a discover roll and have a high enough value and you get stolen

you can either have the party rescue the stolen players, try to kill the thieves or use that as a way to kill off a few people

>>12113922

I hate playing with net access. I mean old style computers are cool with computation and planning stuff, but laptops with internet very frequently just turn into "They said I could know everything, so I became god". And to counter that you have to have an entire encounter devoted to one player fighting off a virus, boring for the other PCs

>>12113980
>Power player is nigh un-detecable
>Paint marks for distinctive flaw
mfw

>>12113980
Radio here. Fuck you and your power washer bullshit. You're definitely on my "to nuke" list if I see one fragile paint container. If you thin a brush in turpentine in a jar, good luck getting those stains out.

One of you power tool folks killed my bro, the washing machine. He may not have been mobile but he was LOYAL.

>>12113996
Just have a microwave use it's lowest skill.
all microwave skills stop net access, it's in the errata

>>12113996
Not to mention the fucking battery makes them resilient to power issues

Lame

Has anyone ever played a generator? I've got a good build for a diesel model but the Appliancemaster won't let me use it with a civilian dwelling. Should I call bullshit and say my owner is a redneck or what?

I really enjoyed that fan-made splatbook for playing as toys. Hard Core Soft Toys or something? That was really good fun, even if lots of it was just "Counts as". We played one campaign where we were "normal" cutlery part of the time and toys the rest. It was this big conspiracy in a primary school (I think), bad guy ended up being this huge blackboard, I kid you not. He was a great gm.

>>12114020

Oh shit? When did that come out? I mean Worms and Viruses is a pretty new splat, guess they didn't test that part too thoroughly before it came out huh?

>>12114050

Seriously? You can't see why being able to deny power at any time could have balance issues?

Any Appliance BBEG is dead in one shot, and cutlery BBEG can be pretty lame without huge escorts

>>12114052
OH SHI~
Were you allowed to smuggle cutlery inside you teddy bears?

When I played as a Barbecue Lighter from the Backyards and Barbecue book I got a really bad fumble,
Burnt down the whole damn house, the silverware survived so we won though

>>12114074
First off, its a backup generator. I'm not going to be the main power supply (that's the Appliancemaster's gf, who is playing - get this - solar fucking panels!). She's outside for the entire thing, I can just see it. I'll be in the shed and my buddy the drill press is going to try to talk the lathe player into helping me get around.

Also: the AM told us in advance the BBEGs would be German cockroaches which eat plastic. I figured playing something made mostly from metal would be safer than the poor asshole stuck playing a theremin.

>>12114108
>won
>burnt down the whole house
>wtfamireading.jpg

BBQ lighter, did you just go full calculator? I believe you did.

>>12114111

Wow, your AM is a tool. Letting anyone play the main power supply is fucking unbalanced.

Though why you'd want to play as a secondary power source is beyond me. If she's playing the main power supply one would hope that she'd shut it off to help, not hinder.

Plenty of other metal appliances you can play dude

Does anyone else play Aluminium Foil? It's amazing for controlling combat, you can use parts of yourself to conduct electricity and fry humans, oh man, they never seeit coming.

>>12114111
Just be a metal thermos.
You get crushing skills early on and can get hot and cold spells.
I haven't played since 2nd edition so I'm not sure if they got nerfed

>>12114081
Ding ding ding! Of course, we could only do that when the two plots came together, and that was fairly late on in the game. By that time, we needed all the help we could get. I still remember my teddy reaching into a video recorder so my other character, a fork, could cut it up from inside. Ouch!

>>12114050
Generators should only be played as NPCs. Too powerful, plus they're immobile. They were intended for big bads and they should stay that way. Great for paranoid gaming when you can die without warning, though.

Unless you all want to play a really overpowered game, which is fine, of course.

>>12114136
Why would I want to be the backup power supply? Dude, lathe, drill press, theremin. That shit don't run on love. We plan to take out the solar panels first thing by drilling through the support posts and (after reading about the radio) maybe using the theremin to shatter the panels themselves. Fuck her Mary-Sue solar bullshit.

>>12114143
They got nerfed. Might as well generate a coffee maker. No offense to coffee makers, it just isn't my scene.

ok, so the party is a wooden spoon, one of those big bad mutha fuckas, played as a big black guy named Bubba persona, the ice tray, holier than though little punk who claimed the freezer was heaven cuz "lol, everything's white", and me, the knife

Our GM's a prick, so we're in the apartment of this 45 y/o never leaves his home type, and he's sexually abused every character in different ways, me and the spoon have handles, and sperm cubes

We. Want. Him. Dead.

We mainly negotiated with other utensils, but it was still mostly up to us
During a period where it's safe to move, the ice cube sneaks out, we'd made a deal with the oven, so he heats him up. Ice Tray creates a puddle, and when fatass is near, wooden spool risks detection by running off the table. It was close, but distracting noise is go.

Boom, fucker slips, and I've been hiding nearby

Fuck detection
I charge him and a few glorious rolls later
slit his throat

GM says that that's all the motivation the others need, the ENTIRE KITCHEN joins in and we massacre him, Fridgey finished him off with Icetray riding on top.

Was a great campaign

Have you heard the rumors for 4E? It's going to be a total WOW clone but in the kitchen. Thanks for killing any motivation for roleplaying.

>>12113894
>>12113894
I really want to know where I can buy it local store never heard of it!

>>12114218
Just go to your local FLGS. Support the fucking community, leech.

>>12114179

So your just going to kill the player than can keep the power on all the time?

Dude, just use her and abuse her, she puts out the power, use it to effect, use all the biggest badass power suckling appliance you can use. Her playing as the power supply removes any disadvantage for Power Hog

>>12114179
If you play as a generator and use any skills you get noticed unless you get a nat 20

your AM did you a favor

Uninterruptable Power Supply here.

Sure, I'm pretty situational, but I get a good charge attack due to my weight, and if the power goes out, I can keep a powered party member up and running for a little while.

Problem is, once I've done that I shut down too...

>>12114226
I hate all of you I can't find this anywhere.. Is it called by any other name?

Anyone tried playing as Box of Lego from the Toys expansion?

I think that has to be the most broken character there is - sure, you have to get the traits for Technic and so on, but come on - you can take the place of just about every other member of the party in a pinch.

>>12114388
>Implying legos can cut, stab, kill, power, use elements

Enjoy your purely utility character

>>12114408

Get the right traits and Box of Lego can carry power - it's in the Railway subset.

In terms of Discovery though, Box of Lego is just...broken.

(Plural of Lego is Lego - like Sheep)

>>12114434
THANK YOU ANON. I'm sick of grandmas saying 'legos.'

>>12114434
I've always used Lego as a mass noun, I think legos is an American thing.

Anyway, lego's so overpowered it's not funny, they can rebuild themselves, make themselves as big or fast as they want, make manipulators to use other appliances or utensils, they even have electric motors in the Technic stuff. So broken.

Actually, now I think about it, Lego DOES have an attack; Hidden Brick.

Tell me anon, have you ever stepped on a 2x2 or even a 2x4 brick in bare feet? Right at the back of the heel?

It may only have the slightest chance of doing the minimum of damage, but hey, Box of Lego has hundreds or thousands of 'em (depending on level)

>>12114453

Welcome.

I wish this were real.
Shit would be so cash.

>>12114488
shoes, sometimes you just take the permanent hp burn for losing the piece

>>12114471


fun fact, I read some interview with someone who worked for lego where people could email in questions. One was what is the proper plural term for lego bricks. Ends up both are wrong. Can't remember the grammatical terms but essential "Lego Bricks" is the proper plural term as Lego itself isn't used as a noun... or something.

>>12114471

Exactly - once it reaches a critical mass, Box of Lego can just crush or ram you to death.

Picture related.

>>12114506

Yeah, and they also want it written as LEGO all the time.

>>12114505

Oh come on, who wears shoes around the house?

>>12114533
Renovations, guests, during summer

>>12114545

>Renovations, guests, during summer

Renovations I can see, but Guests and during summer?

If they're inside the house and they don't have a bloody good reason to be wearing shoes, off they come!

Besides, Box of Lego can just wait - Hidden Brick is a "long game" attack.

Couple Hidden Brick with those electrical blocks - the ones with the wire leading out and the contacts in two of the bricks - and you've got an electrical trap.

Granted, Box of Lego doesn't have any real direct attacks until it hits a critical mass, but past that it's all but unstoppable - you smash it, it rebuilds.

Again, picture related.

>>12113306
NOSTALGIA TO THE GOD FUCKING EXTREME

>>12114582
never had a fancy dinner?
Never had an in-and-outdoor barbeque?
Never had to dart in and out of the house?

As for critical mass, and AM who had owners continuously adding to your lego count is just asking for problems.

>>12114629

Those are all very situational; shoes are not commonly worn around a house all the time, meaning that Hidden Brick is almost always useful.

Critical Mass is easy to spot coming, and a good GM will find ways to prevent it - Yard Sales, Thieving Neighbour and so on. Still, it can't always be prevented - Powergamers will always find a way to add to their brick count.

You guys are demented.

>>12114690

You'd be surprised how many games, systems and settings have come out of a bunch of gamers sitting around having conversations like this.

See; BrikWars.

>>12114665
That's just munchkin RAW theoretical bullshit.

Like Pun-Pun or Schrodinger's Wizard, theoretically yet, but in practice, not so much

>>12114719

Perhaps, but most GMs simply won't be on the lookout for a Box of Lego player to suddenly say, "I assemble all my blocks into a large solid cone and ram the BBEG with it. You'll note I weigh $value and that means I do a minimum of X damage - meaning the BBEG is dead."

>>12114762
Last time a player tried that, we was introduced to the "Hardness Vs. Cohesion" table.

"Box of Lego"s always forget that little bit don't they?

>>12114792

Hence a solid cone - it's unlikely to lose cohesion.

Also, it depends on what the BBEG is. Won't work on something like an Oven (the damage offset is too great) but something like a lamp, or crockery, or if it all goes wrong the Humans, well...

>>12114820
True enough

Just Ovens are archetypal enemies

Dem AMs and their fire

Never wondered why lighters are NPC-only?

Creators had a hard-on for fire

>>12114838

Fire is one of a Box of Lego players true weaknesses - melt a brick and it's useless, melt the right brick in a structure and you may get other bricks trapped.

>>12114850
If that's not bad enough, it jacks up your distinctive flaw like 10 points per burn

>>12114869

Yeah, and it fucking stacks.

It's a bitch if you manage to have blocks melted but not too melted to use, all in the same structure.

That said - it's almost impossible to fail a Discovery as Box of Lego normally, so I guess that's a bit of balancing.

>>12114899
Great for them, bad for everyone else

Burnt knife or ice tray?
Almost a death sentence

>>12114944

Well yeah, a burn on any player with a character type [Plastic] is game over, in terms of discovery.

Knives less so, unless they have plastic or wood as a subtype.

so wait, scourging 5 pages of google with different searches and no info I'mma assume this is fake.

Who wants to get shit done?

/tg/ is this real or fake. INFORM ME... It sounds cool.

I want to homebrew the fucking hell out of this.

Why does everyone seem to play ManSlayer campaigns these days? I've been playing since way back and I think the worst thing I ever did was scald a human to get thrown out while we were trying to escape as a coffee maker.

It just seems that the game has lost it's soul now everyone just wants to kill shit, what happened to escaping shitty owners to find new ones and all those old school adventures?

>>12115802
>>12115871
>>12115714

Box of Lego player/ Uninterruptable Powersupply from above here;

No, the game doesn't exist, but I'd play the hell out of it if it did

>>12115910
I don't know, man.
All my DM does is Haunted House scenarios, and the one that moved away only ever did Protect the Humans from rats/roaches/etc.
On the other hand, battery-powered Alarm Clocks for the win.
Low discovery, perfect distraction, and even light.

>>12114493
>>12114710
>>12115802
>>12115871

"Kitchen Wars" came up negative on google.
But I have played a game called "All the Little Things" which is very similar in principle, in that the players are animate inanimate objects living in a human-owned house.

http://tailsteak.com/archive.php?num=473

UGH my group!

So I go core book for startup (since they're new) and rule kitchen startup only. We're running lowbie, spatula up front, amazing dps knife, lurk/dps spoons (one wooden!), no appliances until higher levels.

So a meeting is called in the dishwasher, and the colander informs the group of a blender killing foodsprites without regard consumption. They pair up with a pair of scissors, fend off a TOASTER (no joke) and get to the blender (the bbea, or so they thought). It turns out he's been doing it because of owner abuse! If he refuses, then the owner tortures him with repairs.

SO they decide to make a trek across the dining room wastes to the frigid garage to go after the tool box, but they have to escort the blender. I won't bore you with what happens just getting past the washer/drier, but long story short the giant toolbox starts spitting up tool minions who have disassembler RANK 3 and beeline for the blender. They are just hanging on when I go:

"If this wasn't bad enough... light and a strong whirring sound flood the room. The garage door is opening!!!!"

seriously, /tg/ is this real

>>12116834
see
>>12116439

This deserves an archive.

>>12116439
>>12116439
I read this and all i could think of was a mix of these two songs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4oCDAXQC34
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ht5RZpzPqw

bump for archive

>>12116992
>>12117982
Do it yourself, not that hard.

>>12115910

Tell me about it.

Anyone else remember the "Journey to the Goodwill Store" that came in the 1st ed. box set? Shit was so cash.