>characters are stranded in middle American small town, populated by RE4-like zombies
>zombies are actually people who had spiders burrow into them, lay eggs in brain, cause insanity and use people as vessels for baby spiders
>PC fails dodge roll for spiders, becomes infested
>plan to watch him kiss his ass goodbye.
>PC runs into a house, into the bathroom, turns on the bathtub, jumps in
>PC then pulls out a taser, sets it to maximum, and shocks the hell out of himself, killing the eggs.

>my face

>>11577354

That is... Pretty awesome, actually. Kudos, PC.

>PCs hunt the heart of a fallen demon god across a demon spirit world
>After a couple sessions of almost being killed by anything from trees to wind, they find the heart in the hands of a greater demon, in some sort of military encampment he has set up
>Spend a great deal of time statting him, plan him as a nice end boss
>PCs instead opt to. because he is essentially a spirit, use magic to seal him in a branch of one of the trees that almost killed them, making it a magical item
>Several passed charisma and magic checks later, they succeed.

God dammit, Mage the Ascension.

>PCs encounter White Dragon's lair, it's all icy
>meant to be hard to walk on
>they invent skates out of the rogue's dagger collection and their boots
>monk knife-kicks dragon, others skate around shooting it and sliding like fucking maniacs

>>11577265
... Okay, I know I'm disregarding the awesomeness here and I might be totally missing the point, but how in the nine hells did they fight a SUBMARINE with a ZEPPELIN?

Call of Cthulhu game with haunted house. Instead of investigating the scary, sanity-shattering happenings of said haunted house, they burned it down within five minutes of starting the game.

>>11577693
rivers aren't usually that deep. presumably they could just drop bombs until the sub came up to fight back.

>>11577693
With missiles, mostly.

Like I said, it was a river, so it couldn't dive too terribly deep.

Yes, there was a lot of friendly derp happening on both sides of the DM screen, I'm just glad I don't play with engineers.

>>11577701
Dude. Your PCs just won Lovecraft.

>>11577752
I'd be kind of annoyed if that happened. it'd be like playing shadowrun and shooting the johnson at the first meeting.

>>11577752
This.

Oh look, the undersea tomb of Cthulhu, sunken for millenia. SINK THAT SHIT AGAIN. Fuck this noise, lets all go live long fulfilling lives free of insanity and getting raped.

>>11577728
I play with an engineering major. Trust me, you should be glad you don't. So many things are enchanted and "magic" solves so many problems its not even funny.

"No, gravity alone would cause a hole large enough in the sub for it to start taking water. After two or three hits, we wouldn't need to do anything else to it because it would sink, killing all the people inside."
"... So yeah the missile barrage did 90 damage to it's structure. It's about 10% dead. The hull is enchanted."

>>11577701
Should have had the smoke become filled with all of the evil and terrors of the house, releasing what was once trapped within a physical confines unto the world, to take form as it pleases.

>investigate feral planet, find it infested by genestealers
>find xeno hive near wrecked cruiser they arrived on, find/escape queen
>players lose rare mcguffin to defeat hive/escape planet
>hijack derelict ship and MAKE WARP ENGINES GO OFF ON THE PLANET SURFACE
>ride warp core breach explosion off planet in broken shuttle
>ask for next mission when reporting to inquisitor

>>11577823
I really need to find a DH group.

>>11577823
thats glorious!

>PC's encounter the Tarrasque.
>Tarrasque kills the party cleric
>All the PC's run except for the Two Weapon Dervish
>Dervish attacks Tarrasque and gets a nat 20
>Then confirms with another nat 20
>With a vorpal scimitar.
>Dervish is heralded as the hero of the age.

>>11577846
I am now and forever content

>>11577823

>>11577846
.............
All I can say about that is ...............

What did the players do?

>>11577865
Their jaws (and mine) dropped. Finally, a person who was going to make the ultimate sacrifice instead emerged the unlikely victor. Honestly, I couldn't have been happier. The dervish player had a long run of horrible rolls the entire game. Those two twenties made up for them entirely.

>Start CoC
>"Your brother calls you asking desperately for your help..."
>PC: "No. I hang up the phone."
>Game over.

>>11577865
Started a new campaigne, I guess. You really can't...that's CLIMAX stuff there.

>>11577953
No, you made him the BBEG. He realized his true potential and knew he had to make the world his own. Right? He became I am He who is I am, right!?

>>11577953
It'd be really epic if that characters achievement was woven into the lore of the next campaign. Wispered stories of his harem off in a secluded area eith piles of gold from the reward he got... Nothing to take away from the current campaign, but still to show homage

>>11577865
>What did the players do?

Anything and anyone they damn well please.

>>11577994
Haha, no. He was a LG dervish. This player also normally plays the party paladin. In fact, earlier in the campaign he was, but the party assassin killed him in his sleep.

>>11578028
wow... thats a dick assassin...

>>11578016
Oh it will it most assuredly will be.

Playing Vampire.

>A mortal bad guy, after a failed attack (all his minions got killed) on the group, grabs one of the characters as a meat shield and makes it towards the exit.
>One guys pulls out a pistol and shoots through the hostage, killing the bad guy.
>Hostage regenerates his wounds and everyone is a-ok.


In another Vampire game.

>One guy is cornered on the fifth floor of an apartment building, baddies closing in.
>Rest of the group is outside, planning a rescue mission.
>Fifth floor window breaks and the guy plummets to the ground.
>Gets up, dusts himself off and they escape.


Fucking vampires...

>PCs encounter Hydra after half the party is dead and on a quest to ressurect them.
>One PC is a bard who is not specced for combat.
>Other PC is a bloodied fighter with Great Cleave
>Fighter jumps into air, which is the only way to hit the Hydra's head.
>Fighter rolls 9 times in a row to attempt to sunder each head.
>Fighter rolls above a 25 (with bonuses) every time, increasing by 1 or more each roll to make up for the negatives for sunder.
>Fighter sunders all 9 heads in one swipe, then lands to the ground.

>>11578131
That is badass

>>11578016
In one campaign there's a player I've DMd and played with for 10 years or so. At the end of one night the PCs had been captured and were routinely beat and starved. Seeing a golden opportunity to really bring back a memory, I pulled the first character he had ever created out and handed it to him. It was now his job to take his old character and rescue his newest one - A level 14 fighter from 2nd edition DnD coming to the rescue of his level 3 fighter in 4th edition, complete with all the old magic items he had remaining... such as a sunburst vorpal longsword of elf slaying(specialized to kill an elven vampire), a helm of immunity to mind effects(specialized to help him kill a large number of mind flayers), and a suit of armor that deals acid damage to whoever attacks him.
And no, we didn't stat him up to 4th edition. We played fucking 2nd edition with him.

Shit was cash.

>>11577786
Ah, but then you're into street consequences territory. Welcome to nobody wanting to hire you, to running shit jobs for low pay, trying to rebuild your reputation.

>>11578154
2e is all me and my friends play. That is all our DM will host, d&d wise. Seems fine so far, even if I can't powerbuild... lololol.

>PCs need to steal part of a "worlds largest ball of yarn" monument in a capital city.
>Half the party goes off to do a distraction by throwing an impromptu concert in the middle of the city.
>The PCs that aren't in the scene ask to cameo their epic level bards from the last campaign.
>I figure "what could it hurt."
>What follows is the most epic battle of the bands I've ever seen.
> Lute and flute versus electric guitar.
>Sound-based construct backgrounds.
>Fire versus water pyrotechnics controlled by barely clothed ladies
> Roiling black clouds
>Illusory vikings fighting spectral skeletons fighting solidified-sound kobolds.
>A rioting crowd. The government trying to send in troops, who can barely contain the chaos.
>Entire session is spent describing the concert and the theft is an afterthought while the PCs escape the riots.
>And it's glorious.

>PC fighter turned vamp due to BBEG bite
>BBEG sends a beholder to kill party, since he is "to busy" to kill us himself
>PC Vamp jumps into beholders mouth, bites beholders tongue
> beholder chewing on PCVamp isn't doing enough damage since PC is gaining equal to or more than enough HP to counter bites
> Beholder can't stick eye stalk far enough to zap PC in mouth
>Beholder dies, PC eats way out
>Later PC turns into beholder/vamp/chaos monster

>>11578167
It was done mostly as a throwback to olden times... we play with an 18 year old who didn't start until 3.5. It was fun hearing "My AC is -9" and watching the 18 year old go "WTF is his AC so shitty for???"

>>11578175
since when does eating a beholder turn you into a beholder?

>>11578219
Since shut up.

>>11578219
Since Axe Cop?

>>11578219
Since KHAAAOOOS!!

My players tend to fuck up rather than succeed gloriously. Such as walking into gang territory with a small child and not even realizing it.... then getting in a gun fight with schoolgirl death children and neo-nazies while a little girl shanks some guy with a shiv. Too bad the main PC in that encounter was on the ground for most of the fight.

Back in 1999. 2nd edition AD&D, half-dragon(or lizardman, kinda foggy) thief and party fight ogres with hill giant leader. Thief goes around the ogres and giant while they fight the other characters, rolls for attack on giant. Natural 20, backstab. I use a program to determine where he hit. Neck. From behind, which is like 6 feet above him. So I play it off as him grappling the back of one ogre, and jumping off to put an arm around the giant's neck while his short sword is plunged into the back of the neck. Roll for bodily injury. Spinal cord is severed. Thief rolls save vs getting smashed by the body of the now paralyzed giant, and ninja-flips forwards to stand on top of the fallen giant's chest. Ogres start fleeing from failed morale check.

>Dark Heresy
>in a cave
>Suddenly the PCs are attacked by GOD DAMN BATS
>The assassin asks for the guardsman's shot gun, but hes to far away.
>He throws it, assassin catches it.
>In the same turn, the assassin aims for the center of the flock and hits
>rolls for massive damage
>he killed ever bat with a single shotgun shell

>>11578175
>>11578219
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aberration_%28Dungeons_%26_Dragons%29

>Aberrations generally all have bizarre anatomies, strange abilities, alien mindsets, or any combination thereof.
>generally all have bizarre anatomies, strange abilities
>have bizarre anatomies

Since Fuck. You. DM. Magic.

Players lost in a island with little food.
There`s a Witch in the island that turns people in animals
One of the players who goes hunting is turned in to a pig
Comes back asking for help, doing strange noises and dancing and stuff
Players find the pig amusing, but dont care and kill the strange pig and eat it

>>11578374
FFFFFFFFFFFUCKING CIRCE

Not so much awesome plan as awesome rolls.

We were playing Dark Heresy, with a pretty combat focused party. An Arbites, A krieg Guardsman, an assassin, and me, techpriestess obsessed with explosives.

We got sent to a some world, to see if it was suitable for living. Que camping in the wilderness for a month, the krieger fortifying our camp into a stronghold, and generally messing with the locals.

At the end of the month, the GM is fed up with our shenanigans, and decides he wants to kill us. He sends several pigmonsters against us, with shit like unnatural strength AND toughness.
He forgets our camp is a fortress. The Krieger holds the goddamn line, rolling righteous fury like crazy, even stabbing one of them to the with his mono-shovel.

Afterwards, our GM told us we really were supposed to die.

>Players jump a van through the airlock of their stolen ship, docked planetside.
>Ruthlessly execute all the pirate techies inside trying to hack the ship.
>Pilot is out cold. Engineer takes off at out-of-atmosphere speeds, damaging the ship and glassing a couple hundred feet of desert.
>Infantry flatilmo!

Captcha says it all.

>Party fights Hereteks in a construction yard.
>Dozens of Hereteks and an 'upgraded' Ogryn charge the party.
>Guardsman and Arbitrator pour fire into Ogryn, it doesn't slow down.
>Scum tosses grenade at Ogryn, it doesn't slow down.
>Suddenly the Techpriest that was trying to mix up explosives sees a giant industrial steamroller.
>Techpriest jumps in steamroller and drives into the Heretek horde, crushing Hereteks left and right.
>Ogryn gets reduced to a gory paste after being run over twice with the steamroller.
>Arbitrator puts on sunglasses and says: "Well that evened out the odds"
>Suddenly, DOOMRIDER jumps out of the Warp, shouts "YEEEEAAAAAAHH!!!" and drives off into the Warp again.

Ok, didn't GM this one, but it was a crawl with two GMs, which was awesome since it meant that mary sue NPCs could be set up for a fall:

>Party is railroaded to go "negotiate" with a Vampire prince atop a skyscraper
>Noone has any intent of actually being diplomatic, or believes the Prince does either
>Send zombie up as negotiator, specifically state that messing with the zombie will be considered proof of hostile intent
>Prince IMMEDIATELY attempts to mindcontrol zombie and succeeds
>Radio detonate fuel air munition that the zombie was carrying
>Prince escapes being killed by 3 metres thanks to Celerity
>Plan is that everyone and my familiar goes up and tries to take him down, if they fail I'll be able to tell through my familiar, I meanwhile spend the time rigging the entire building except for the floor they are on with fuel air munitions.

>>11578618
>Prince sees me doing this with Auspex, but doesn't care for some reason that I only found out later
>Party goes down in glorious battle against a whole other bunch of Vamps who were PCs as well, my familiar scores the only final death on a vamp
>Prince meanwhile escapes on helicopter
>Prince had actually rigged ONLY the floor they were on to explode, kills every PC except me.
>I then aim and prepare to shoot him with my scoped auto-rocket-launcher thing
>Vamp on the helicopter hits me with an anti-material rifle before I can take the shot, downing me
>My familiar, in twilight form, possesses a corpse from the floor up and patches me up
>I summon a medial demon onboard the Princes helicopter
>He jumps the 300 metres to the ground as his entourage is torn to pieces behind him
END SESSION

>DH Game
>Sniper comes down from the roof of a building into the restricted area of a shopping center
>Is confronted by a security guard who asks what he's doing here
>Sniper weighs his options
>Sniper draws a fucking laspistol
>Guard damn near beats him to death

Not a time that I was particularly impressed with my players but a time where their stupidity resulted in hilarity.

>>11578668
DH-like systems have some hilarious shit go on like that due to the probability curve

I had a computer shop keeper who latched onto to the back of a moving car and before climbing onboard and nearly beating a trained assassin to death with her fists.

>Party aligns themselves with devil hoard to fight the bbeg with aid of macguffin that the devils want
>devil and party know full well that both sides plan to back stab the other when all is said and done
>Pit Fiend leader of the devil armada gets cocky and attacks party with barely any support
>Party wins fight, talk devil into surrendering for a clean death
>Pit fiend was named Toodauz (Two Dozen). for how many balor skulls he owned.Originally 9 Skull when the party met him 5 levels earlier
>Epic Rogue has the ability to steal something intangible from someone she kills. Steals pit fiend's status in the devil army.
>Enter 25 Skull, the tiny rogue girl wearing Toodauz's skull as a helmet and his balor skull armor, the new leader of the devil armada.

>>11578859

Hi-larious.

>>11577595
Mage the ascension moment from our game:

>evil pentex/corrupted technocracy corporation is drilling a giant hole in the earth, flooding it with horrible toxic waste, and planing on using it to summon a nexus crawler.
>One of the PC's kid brother gets captured and planned to use as a sacrifice in one week.
>Expect the pc's to go in guns blazing and fight the BBEG.
>My face when they collect evidence and contact the EPA reporting the company for dumping toxic waste in the ground.
>Corporation gets shut down pending federal investigation.

I love my old group, they were so fucking awesome.

>>11579078
wow... thats pretty outside of the box.

I wish my group would think of that shit

>>11579101
Yeah, i was half tempted to have the technocracy pull some strings to make the allegations disappear...

but the collect some pretty damning evidence. They even forged papers to join the company and collect samples and photos from the inside.

And to top it all off they personally delivered the evidence to multiple people and multiple news agencies.

After all the hard work, i wasn't about to hand wave it away.

this thread needs more posts

>>11579078

>Near-future X-files/Delta Green type game, party are FBI agents in the Weird Shit Dept.
>BBEG is after apocalyptically-powerful artefact at the bottom of the ocean, deep enough to require fluid-breather gear (users breathe oxygenated fluid instead of air).
>Cross-country chase, BBEG using wizardly powers to evade roadblocks, etc.
>Party determine BBEG is after artefact, will need fluid-breathing deep-sea submersible to find it.
>Pull up list of diving operators with such vessels.
>Make a few phonecalls.
>Suddenly, IRS audits! Submersibles impounded pending completion of paperwork.

Playing Paranoia, we are sent to test out a new robot. We have no idea what it does, and are obviously catious with it. When we finally get around to activating it, it starts beeping, locks on to our team leader, and starts walking towards him. The rest of us backs off, while he stands his ground. Cue robot exploding on his ass, killing him instantly.

As happiness officer, I felt a joke was nescessary to lighten the mood, so I pull out a pair of glasses out of nowhere.

Well... *puts on glasses* atleast we had a blast.

playing a zombie apocalypse game with GURPS.

One of the players (who i phoned and woke up, to fill in, and he showed, 'cause he's such a bro) is playing a paranoid, marijuana-addicted vietnam vet survivalist with a cache of old WW2-60s era guns.

>Players are investigating an incident in the bar in the main street
>players end up facing down the whole street full of zombies
>zombie lurches out of the front of a drugstore

>Survivalist has been following along on rooftops the whole time
>lets rip with MP38/40, smearing the zombie across the sidewalk
>Raises gun overhead, shaking it up and down, yelling like a Tusken Raider
>leaps into the tray of the pickup truck being driven by one of the other PCs.

Nothing that amazing, but this was just so goddamn funny, and the Player's such a bro, i thought it was worth a mention.

>>11577846

Hate to spoil an awesome moment, but that beast ain't dead till someone uses a wish or miracle.

>>11579459
GM fiat rules over game RAW. Awesome PC work is wroth a fiat call.

Mage the Ascension moment, I was the cause of the moment, not the GM.

>> Huge investigation of several pentex corporations leads to a huge Mage endeavor to wipe out all the baddies in one single night. I came in at the end of this.
>> GM, not knowing what he was letting me get away with, lets me play a Euthanatos with shitloads of Entropy.
>> We break into this one dude's house because he's on our list of people that need to get taken out. Huge house, so we split up.
>> I go off in one direction with another PC and come across some guy watching TV and sipping from his drink. Figuring it's a bodyguard I want to take him out quietly.
>> "What are the chances he'll choke on his drink?"
>> Roll four successes.
>> GM rolls Stamina to see how badly he chokes, botches.
>> The dude is a Fomori, so the GM rolls to get him to change into his other form so he'll stop choking.
>> Another botch.
>> Dude falls over dead. Climactic final battle averted.

>>11579445

Dear god, my man. Marijuana addiction?

Hope you mean mental dependency rather, because it's the only thing that can keep his fucking PTSD jitters down and stop the fucking nam flashbacks.

Addiction, lol. Why pot, why not just say heroin? Plenty of GIs were doing it, and you can actually become physically dependent on that.

>>11579445
you can't be addicted to marijuana
because it's not addictive

>>11580940
ahahah...ow....wow you can't be serious.

>>11577642
COMING TO YOU THIS CHRISTMAS...
THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO MUSICALS SINCE GREASE...
ADVENTURERS... ON ICE!

>last part of the DH campaign
>players are about to help the Inquisitor stop another Inquisitor
>players finally get proof they were on the right side all along, all of them were in doubt except the Guardsman, fanatically loyal to the Inquisitor
>other Inquisitor has 2 Deathwatch Space Marines watch his back
>GM volunteers to buy the group time to end the mission, prepares to die a hero's death (I had subtly cleared that this would be an ending he'd like
>first strike is a triple righteous fury with a chainsword, knocks the Seargeant into crit and stuns him forever, Seargeant misses the save
>end of the fight, 2 dead DWs, Guardsman just standing
>my face, and the face of the rest of the group when GM returns after they got the other Inquisitor (they weren't present during the fight)

GM left the Inquisition after that because he could not get over killing them.

>Party sent to kill a BBEG wizard.
>They find his tower, made of Adamantine.
>After killing everything inside and disarming all the traps, they find that the wizard wasn't home.
>So they smash his tower down and sell it for a ridiculous fortune, and when the wizard finally tracks them down to get revenge, they simply overpower him with fancy loot.

My Mage moment, /tg/.

>PCs in generic Americatown that got invaded by a Marauder BBEG who believes Nazis won WWII, that he himself is the last true American hero, and that the PCs are Nazi soldiers
>give the BBEG a hypertech tank, clockwork soldiers, and a gun that shoots BLACK HOLES.
>plan to kill some god damn PCs.
>two PCs set up a sniping post to blow the treads off his tank, one other lays explosives in the sewers
>the last PC decides to walk straight up to him, put down a chair, sit in it, and talk to him frankly about his issues with the help of Mind magic.
>while the PC talks, she also slowly builds a Correspondence barrier around him
>After the barrier is complete, PC intentionally lets the talks go south, the BBEG gets pissed, and he fires his black hole gun at her
>Black hole hits Correspondence barrier, explodes, eats BBEG and his tank.
>PC picks up the chair and walks away.

>my face

>>11581273
>PC picks up the chair and walks away.
NO CHAIR LEFT BEHIND!

The party, sorcerer, rouge, barbarian and another rouge were investigating a hidden level under a mage's laboratory.

My plan was: >a lot of magic trap that the sorcerer can detect, some traps the rouges can detect and disarm, and then some combat for everyone.

While the first part went fine, the combat one was a little tricky: there were 4 cells, 3 of them with some kind of angry, starving, demonic wolves inside (all these 4 rooms were made just to add spice to the zone, I assumed the guys weren't stupid enough to fight them, since they were on level 4).
And, after a couple of passasges, a big room with a talking Giant Cobra who was supposed to guard a key. Now, the room was partially filled in water since I didn't want the sorcerer to use invisibility and make the barbarian miss his combat.

>the sorcerer walks in the dark room
>the snake (gs 5, so not a easy challenge after all) spot him, and menace him to go away.
> sorcerer uses these 5 seconds to study the room then goes away.
Now, they should have already entered in combat with the Cobra, but here's what happened.
>sorcerer says: fuck this. Barbarian, be a decoy. Rouges, be the little fuckers you already are.
>he casts invisibility on himself and the rouges.
>barbarian taunts the snake and forces it to follow him through the passages.
>rouges, while invisible, open the gates of the cells.
>Cobra and hungry wolves fight with each other, while the party except the sorcerer who is far away enters in the empty cell and close the door.
>a rougue snipe the survived beast through the window of the cell.
>monsters die, arrives the sorcerer with the key.

Well... they have my praise, since the empty room wasn't even there for a purpose.

>PCs are fighting in a bland arena
>Throw dire tigers at them to keep them company
>quickly search for something kick ass to do
>The druid dominates one and rides it like a horse
>The druid then takes a large pike and starts jousting another tiger
>Another PC quickly skins another tiger and wears it like a suit of armor

Overall a fun night. wouldDMagain.jpg

>Crawling through a crypt when we come to a massive well, complete with a slippery, roughly hewn spiral staircase to the bottom.
>Water ghouls are below us, but as we are low level, are beyond most of our spell's range and we lack archers.
>Unlucky cleric decides to take the first step. Botches roll to keep his footing. Botches another roll, and tumbles all the wawy down the spiral, taking some solid damage and landing in the waiting arms of the ghouls.
>Ghouls turn. Some attack him, mess him up. Others move up the staircase. half the party is trying to affix ropes and climb down safetly.
>My turn. Reckless but loyal Dwarf fighter. Know that the cleric will be dead by the time we inch our way down.
>"Tuck and roll!"
> GM seemed annoyed, but let me do it.
>End up bowling over the ones climbing up the staircase, coming to a stop, and then leaping down and crushing one that's in the pool below.
>Cleric saved. Fuck yeah.

>>11581445
>rouge
Could you please quit doing this?

>>11577701
Was that the one with the warlock buried in the secret room in the cellar? I've ran that adventure straight out of the 2nd Ed rulebook a lot.

Half of the time, it ends in fire. Lots and lots of fire.

>>11582323
What do you mean?

>>11582542
Jesus. Does ANYone dress like a real person in 40k? Honestly?

>Just woke up hmm better put on my pirate gear because STYLE BABY strap on some pointless chains and skulls . . . few more skulls, perfect! now lets polish that brass - mmm mmm, enough brass to choke a steampunk fetishist

> PC is halfling rogue/thief acrobat with a mandolin+bayonet
> sees other halflings get murdered by massive huge-sized wolf/dragon thing
> HE MAD but doesn't get to the fight in time to help
> hears they come when it rains, stormclouds on the horizon, PC is shaking with rage
> night comes, other PCs are worried about little guy getting hurt, so cleric buffs him
> wizard buffs him with enlarge person and draconic might
> bard "buffs" him... with prestidigitation
> entire fight dominated by HALFLING HULK

>>11582580
You missed the 2D paper map of SPACE.

>PCs get into gunfight with mooks
>All out cold or dead but one mook and the Sister of Battle
>Sister of Battle is wearing a synskin mask and wielding a flail
>She rips off what appears to be her face as an Intimidate attempt, then smashes the skull of the unconscious gunslinger
>Her Face

>>11582611
Can't you see the island on it? It's a map of a planet.

>>11582580
I counted 47 skulls in the full picture.
>>11582611
That appears to be a map of a planet, though.

>>11582611 You missed the 2D paper map of SPACE.

More possible to make than you think.

But that is how people dress in 40k.

Anyways, this is a tangent, back to PCs doing unexpected awesome things.

>>11582692
No, THIS is how people dress in 40k.

>>11578219

In your time, no, but in the future, SHUT UP.

> Uneasy Khornate Bezerker / Noise Marine alliance.

> Throne Agents consist of Cleric, Guardsman ( Shooty, Cadian ), Guardsman ( Kreiger, Melee ), Techpriest and Arbite.

> After several rounds of combat, KHARN appears.

> Cue a round of stareing before Krieger flings an throwing axe at a Noise Marine. Rightous Fury enables the primative weapon to kill it.

> Kharn and Throne Agents proceed to destroy Noise Marines, then proceed to just go seperate ways afterwards.

>>11582611

Not to mention that it's also a treasure map: note the classic x marks the spot.

Rogue Trader meets Indiana Jones?

>>11580940
>>11580848
yeah, yeah, I know. I was, until recently, a fairly chronic stoner, so yeah, I know how easy it is to give up. Yeah, it was only a 5-pt (addiction), it was more for flavour than anything else. He also referred to himself in the third person, and his name was woody.

Still, it was a neat character, and my mate who played him, was an absolute champ for getting his hungover arse out of bed, and being the first player to arrive no less. With drinks for he and I.

>>PCs are at boss fight with level 20 God avatar.
>>She kills the NPC paladin/knight in one turn.
>>Mage opens dimension door and puts her into random dimension.
>>She dissapears.

My face.

ARCHIVE THIS.

>>11586466
Do it yourself, at suptg.

>>11586445
>implying that's the way dim.door works...

> pc are in front of a magic door, and a illithid is casting a spell to destroy them behind it.
>barbarian open the door, see the illithid.
>roll the dice, he have the ini
>ask him what he does
>answers me that he tries to break his jaw and wrists.
> roll the dice
>critical
> pcs humiliate the boss during three hours.

> my group is attacked by giant godamn spiders
> the barbarian jump on the back of the biggest of them
>he uses his blazing sword to impale the back of the spider, and use his blazing ray to cook her from the inside.
>two actions
>critical fail
>critical succes

>Barbarian impale his foot, then the spider, then use the ray through his feet. the fire cauterize the hound
>spider dies
> sword is wedged in the barbarian's foot.

>wtf man.

>PCs get attacked by a black dragon in a swamp
>As the dragon flies up out of the water, the rogue jumps on its back and stabs its wings out
>It falls to the ground and everyone kills it
>Barbarian uses taxidermy to skin and preserve it.
>Nat 20
>PERFECTLY PRESERVED DRAGON

Yeah, Taxidermizing our enemies has become a standard procedure for the party.

DnD 3.5

This one is just all around epic. I play with some "herp-derp" goof offs who always do crazy shit. They reached the final confrontation with this crazy goblin engineer who carries two blackpowder pistols and has boots of springing. He also has goggles of truesight (random +20 to hit) and a portable hole (to do fun things with). The area in which they fight him has multiple levels and beams. They essentially chase him around the room as he's blasting away at them. They finally manage to knock him prone. The cleric of the party decides that, since he doesn't have any ranged weaponry and he's directly overhead one level up, the best way to finish off the little goblin is to jump down and kill him with crush damage. The goblin, seeing the cleric prepping to do this, pulls out his portable hole to catch the falling idiot (This is the type of fun things we think to do with shit like this). One of the PC's starts laughing hysterically. I had forgetten that his character happened to have picked up a bag of holding earlier in the campaign. He elected to chuck it at the portable hole (abusing metaknowledge, I know, but a priceless moment nonetheless)

I don't think it's much of a stretch to see what happened next...

DH game again (god there are a lot of these that are DH) I may have already told you guys this one before.

>Group is trapped in a sacrifice chamber, three minor daemons before us, Each of which could wipe the party without breaking a sweat.
>One of them presents a contract, our lives, in exchange, we return them to the Warp, (Hereteks have them bound and are using them for a power source)
>DM is hoping for some epic infighting, moral quandary, perhaps someone killing the Cleric, who to this point has been a pain in the ass.
>While the Tseench one (can't remember the specific type, kinda birdlike but not a full LoC) is getting ready to try to sell us on the deal, My psyker interrupts:
>"We don't serve the Emperor by dying impotently in a pit. Give me the pen."
>Silence, the Cleric sets thunder hammer to "jello".
>The group's second psyker puts a hand on the back of the Cleric's head, mindwipes the bastard, and as the big guy falls to the ground, looks to the rest of the group challengingly.

At the end of the campaign, the daemons, plus one extra daemon prince, were successfully banished. My psyker ended up on the fast track to becoming a Champion of Tzneetch, and the other psyker got transformed to replace a planetary Duke without the rest of the party knowing the guy was even dead.

They will be the BBEG of the next 40k game of whichever flavor we run.

>>11587790

when me and my friends were just starting out, it was a running gag to 'skin the beast!' (whatever we'd just killed)

After a few years apart, we get together for a game. Our party is ambushed in the night, we win, and despite the DM trying to dissuade us, we have the critter skinned and on a rack to dry, for old time's sake.

He was running a module where the local village was under a curse, the people transformed into monsters at night. When we wake up in the morning to collect the hide...

>>11588704
THAT is good DM'ing

>>11589437
dammit, forgot to erase name from last sage...

>>11588078

Did the Cleric's throw make it in time to kill the goblin without taking him with it, or did the Cleric get caught in the effect?

Right, the party was something around level 4 and consisted of a half-orc paladin, an elf rogue/wizard, a half-elf cleric, a hired level 2 monk, and myself as a gnome bard/sorcerer. We were in a sewer because something was abducting townsfolk. The tunnel opened to a large cavern and out of nowhere two gargoyles swoop and aerial charge us, knocking the cleric down and doing substantial damage to the monk.

Combat starts and I go first in inits, I cast hideous laughter on one of the gargoyles, locking it down while the rest of the party fucks around trying to kill the other one. Second round, I calmly cast true strike, the monk goes into negatives and the party shits itself. Third round, I calmly walk over to the gargoyle, who is laughing uncontrollably, and announce my action.

"Called shot to the head, I want to behead it."

The table goes silent for a second, I then realize that the only weapon I'm wielding is improvised, it is my mandolin. It's too late to take it back though, so I close my eyes and make my roll.

20. Rolled to confirm, 20 again.

My mandolin cracks against the gargoyle's face and sends it to the far side of the cavern, landing squarely at the feet of 3 gargoyles that had appeared one round prior. They immediately surrendered to me along with the half dead one that the party was still not done with.

I have never felt so badass.

>>11590679

FUCK YES ANONYMOUS
YOU ARE THE BEST EL KABONG EVER

What would you put in a party member with a gate to the Astral Plane in his chest?

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=88885

When I first found this I about died laughing.

>>11577265
While trying to get dirt off a cultist of Graz'zt who was running for senator in a powerful city state, the party's ninja decides to follow him to a brothel he owns. He then turns invisible and steals the mans valuables and expensive clothing while he had relations with one of the prostitutes that turned out to be one of his succubus minions.

>Low Level PC's Run into enormous Centipede
>Ranger jump on back of it, riding it.
>Druid uses animal empathy
>Few stupid good rolls
>PC's now have have a giant centipede mount, named Hank.

>>11590766

>Step one: Open numerous decanters of endless water inside the astral plane.
>Step two: Close warforged chest to prevent water from escaping.
>Step three: Wait for some time.
>Step four: use Greater Lake Attack as needed.

Wow.....

D&D 3.5 game final boss gives big speech about how we have only been delaying the inevitable and blah blah blah roll for initiative get highest roll disintegrate hits he fails dies dms face afterwords priceless

>Playing some WFRP
>Party is in a skaven cavern
>Outlaw gets jumped by some fuckhuge centipede thing
>Outlaw fails all rolls to get out of grapple
>Centipede stabs Outlaw in the stomach, secretly lays it's eggs in the Outlaws abdomen
>Centipede is kileld by party, Outlaw patched up
>Over time, the Outlaws stomach swells (The outlaw is a man) And the initiate figured otu what happened to him
>Party doesn't kill him off because they are in the middle of a nurgle zombie plague and need him till he croaks
>Middle of a boss fight, party getting their asses whooped
>Outlaw gets grabbed by massive Nurgle demon
>Suddenly massive baby centipedes burst out of the Outlaws poorly stitched up stomach
>Centipedes swarm over the Demon, giving our bright wizard enough time to prepare for some kickass fire spell
>The BW torches the demon, destroying it
>What centipdes are still alive crawl over to the outlaw and look up at their "mother" before curling up and dying
>A funeral was held for the fallen centipedes

>>11578543
>steamroller

Was totally expecting WRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY!!!

>>11582542

Rouge Trader, where the party members are all intergalactic AVON salesmen.

>>11582580
Jesus. Does ANYone dress like a real person in Napoleonics? Honestly?

>Just woke up hmm better put on my officer gear because STYLE BABY strap on some pointless chains and tassels. . . few more tassels, perfect! now lets polish that steel- mmm mmm, enough steel to choke a steampunk fetishist

There is a legend in my gaming group about the first time we attempted to play D&D high. I blacked out, but apparently I didn't actually lose consciousness. Instead I rolled a goblin paladin who wore a shimmering suit of full plate and dual wielded flails. I didn't even pick feats for him, so I had all the penalties of 2-weapon fighting. Despite all this, the story goes, I was the only person who managed to roleplay my character, and I tore threw the dungeon murdering everything in my path, screaming about my redemption. I really wish I remember that character, he sounded bad ass. We now record all sessions of D&D.

>Running Dark Heresy
>PC's part of an Arbites task force investigating why an entire city suddenly dropped off the Grid.
>Zombies everywhere, Plague Cult causing them.
>Arbites quickly getting overwhelmed, PC's SWAT vehicle gets hit by a Krak Missile.
>Wounded, instead of falling back to the local Air-strip to evac and call in Planetary Guard elements, they aquire a new vehicle and rush to the primary power plant.
>PC's and Arbiters make valiant last stand to buy time for PC Tech Priest.
>PC Tech Priest convinces Fusion Reactor machine spirit that in order to maintain the Purity of the Facility and the city, it must turn off the cooling systems.
>Huge-fuck explosion obliterates most of the city.

New party rolled up next week. Good times though.

I'm a player, and my DM is a pretty cool guy. Anyway. Our game was a d20 modern setup, with all the rules broken and stitched back together in an unholy semblance of life.

Characters:
>Me, a manmade human weapon ascendant Champion of Zeuriel, the Right Hand of God
>Party leader, Demonhunter-turned-halfdemon due to his hunting, making him even more effective
>Turned daemon of lust, who is also a monk. Ridiculously effective at killing. Everything

And so:
>Me and the rest of the party are fighting down the layers of hell to stop a fallen Angel unmaking the world
>on the second level, Limbo, the party encounters the Undying Champion.
>Have to break through the Walls of Limbo, the most powerful structure ever.
>Break through with the Mag Rifle, which is like firing a sun as a beam
>Entire party charges through the breach
>Undying Champion begins to fuck us up
>Monk is like "FUCK THIS. Grey [my character] get the fuck over here
>Tosses me into the air, I begin to rocket skywards
>five rounds later, drop down onto the UC, impale him with the Mag Rife
>Stare at my DM. "I pull the goddamn trigger."
>THe world goes white
>All layers of hell have been breached, a good half the standing demon population has been destroyed
>My character stands before God
>"Send me back so I may continue the crusade"
>Dustcloud clears, Champion of Zeuriel stands, full angelic form revealed
>"Awesome."

>>11593093
Further into the layers of hell, we're on the "Wrath" layer
>My angel has slowly been going mad(er) due to such a close proximity to the unchained stuff of Hell
>The "layer" of Wrath is the inside of the Leviathan
>Monk player has absorbed the Sin of Lust, and is torn between tipping my character down into Fallen territory or helping
>We reach the very center of the Layer, the "Heart of the Beast"
>My character goes "FUCK EVERYTHING", and slits both wrists with his own weapons.
>"Grey holds his wrists over the Heart of the Beast." Characters shining gold/white blood hits the Heart.
>Leviathan goes absolutely nuts.
>Layer of Wrath Purified. "Holy Bastion: Leviathan of God"
>My character slays the Sin of Wrath, becomes the Wrath of God Made Manifest
>Everything dies.

>>11590783
>While trying to get dirt off a cultist of Graz'zt who was running for senator in a powerful city state,
When I first read this I didn't catch the "cultist of" part, and thought that Graz'zt himself was running for office and frequenting brothels.

I like my version more.

>>11593093
>>11593110
...the fuck is this? Mary Sue: the Game?

>>11593195
Shit got broken really quick.

We all started out as level 4 normals. It was a game purely for rule of cool, anyway.

IF you've played Werewolf : The Apocalypse you know about the tribal aspect, the taming of your rage, and the constant fighting against hopeless odds. I had my players fight a similar struggle in a Freak Legion chronicle.

>PCs become Formori and struggle to retain their humanity.
>Despite a lengthy campaign that almost wiped out a Cairn, they turn traitor, break the seige and are once again re-captured by Pentex.
>They are taken to a small complex for de-generative treatments to break them of this rebellious mentality and further the control of the Bane spirit.
>They hold out long enough for that Cairn's last War party to assault the complex and incidentally free them.
>With the ties they loosely forged with that Cairn the Elder Garou takes them into the Umbra so they may quest in the realm of Pangea for the aide of Gaia to remove their Bane spirit and taint.
>Group manages to evade the other Garou hunting them, the powerful spirits, and still scale the highest peaks of Pangea and speak with the eldest spirit of the realm.
>Rather than concluding the chronicle and leaving the Garou to their fate.. they ask that the spirit help them aid those who saved them.

To reward their diligent struggle against being damned, finding roleplay, and striving to extend a one shot; I give them a high level ritual for rebirth (into a Mage or Garou/Changing Breed) to be used in the next chronicle.

Write an adventure about Harmonium agents trying to unionise foundry slaves in Baator.

One PC is played by RL steelworks union agitator.

Hijinks ensue.

>It was a game purely for rule of cool, anyway.

Rule of retarded more like.

"Going FUCK EVERYTHING" and then magically fixing everything with your super amazing awesome powa isn't cool, it's just boring, and it's not even funny unless we're talking some sort of Buttlord GT style parody.

DnD 3.5. Lowlevel party consisting of a cleric/paladin/some hax bullshit (who powergames himself to death, quite literally, near the end of the campaign), me (arrowflinging 1/2 elf ranger with a penchant for botches but with decent stats), elf cleric, halfling rogue, fighter, and a few miscellaneous other players (we all swapped out due to work constraints; the campaign lasted over a year because of that). So, we're trudging along to the first real town to figure out why the hell all of us automagically ended up on this plane and planet when suddenly! KOBOLD ROADBLOCK with downed wagon and crates scattered about. Shouldn't be a big deal, kobolds are more for laughs than anything else. Party starts obliterating them wholesale. Last one attempts to flee, and I give chase and try to hop over the crates to get a good shot. I roll a 1, trip over the crates and fall on my face into the mud. Cleric who has a crossbow decides to give chase as well. He rolls a nat-20 on the check to make it over the crates. He does a perfect flip over the crates then fires the crossbow in midair, striking and killing the last kobold. I give him a thumbs up from my mudbath.

The group gets one hell of a laugh out of that, as that was my third botch that night (inside two hours, no less), and said cleric had and would continue to prove himself awesome. That is, until his workschedule changed and he got a girlfriend.

Damn I miss that campaign.

>>11595835
Oh, and we picked up a drow ranger NPC after fighting a mindflayer who had enslaved her and two of her sisters. Unfortunately, her sisters died in that fight, but we were able to make amends due to genuine kindness and *killing the shit* out of that mindflayer and a few more down the line. The GM tried to kill her off a few times, but we refused to let her die, to include ripping her back from -8. She ended up saving the party's ass (and my character's, specifically) more than a few times.

>>11595294

>This post

Because we're not playing games here,
WE'RE PLAYING REAL LIFE

>>11595937
Just when I was beginning to think summerfaggotry may truly be a myth

Bump

> Had a PC who was specialized in Parachuting (don't know why, he just likes it)
> Parachuting PC don't do much the entire game
> Last part of the mission Parachuting PC finds a parachute
> They're trying to escape the tyrant island with the hostages
> They were suppose to go by sea, but one PC fucked up the Speedboat on the begining of the game
> They use an airplane
> The tyrant was killed but his SAMS (anti-aircraft missile shit) was still live. It was automatic.
> The Airplane is hit, blowing half up and throwing everyone up the sky to fall down to their deaths
> Parachuting PC grab everyone, tie them together with a rope. dive in the air to grab the hostage, pick the rope and parachute to safety, dropping everyone alive and kicking on a lake
> Parachuting PC saves the god damn day
> Whole shit, shit was so cash

> Party defeats BBEG's dragon henchman, but he flies away using his flying ship
> Party needs to grab him before the sunrise or they won't lift a curse on the village
> had a PC ranger who botch a survival check and got lost (he missed basically a big chunk of the last part of the game)
> Ranger finds a Roc Bird nest atop a cliff while trying to reach the rest of the party (unaware the BBEG was fleeing)
> Ranger tames a Roc bird, rides it to the rest of the party, wich uses the Roc Bird to chase the BBEG
> Party gets the BBEG, crush his medallion and lift the curse right on time
> Ranger guys face when he realized he had basically, saved the day!

>>11577846
Did he drop any good loot?

All this talk of awesome makes me ashamed of my old gaming group. We never did shit.

>Take Kobold Fighter/Rouge to D&D 3.5 game
>World where Kobolds are considered shit.
>Only peices of equipment are a robe, a cloak and what I can carry in my pockets.
> In that robe are the following upgrades, 'Scarf Blade' 'Masterwork Duelling cloak' and it counts as a backpack. Later get a glider installed in it as well as several other bits and peices.
>After a huge game with me getting no respect IC or OOC due to other players being dicks about character choice. Others constantly make jokes about my 'Cloak of wonders'
>Finally face the BBEG.
>Entire party is downed in a few rounds except me due to Huge reflex saves.
>Taken levels in Whirling Dervish by this point also.
>The BBEG has a huge army of Orcs and Goblins, I am all that stands between them and the end of civilization as we know it.
>"All is lost!"
>Kill most of army in a few turns by being a flying freaking whirling warrior avatar of death himself who gets to sneak attack on any enemy that wasn't next to me at the start of my turn.
>Kill BBEG 'bare handed' with my cloak and a garrot wire.
>They wake up and I'm standing there atop a pile of corpses.
>"How did you do that?!"
>"I killed them with my cloak of wonders."
>Never get disrespected again.

Back when I first started playing, we were doing a basic low-level 3.5 game. During a dungeon crawl we helped a bunch of kobolds out by freeing a couple of them that had been imprisoned, and found a wyrmling white dragon in the bottom point of the dungeon. When we got back to the kobolds' camp, they were intent on keeping the dragon for some reason, but the party fighter (and the only one of us besides the DM who had any experience) felt bad for it and decided to steal it. So they had my character (halfling rogue who saved the kobolds by picking the locks of their chains) deliver a rousing speech to everyone detailing the injustices we witnessed against the kobolds and how I valiantly freed them- they were completely absorbed in it, and during that time, the fighter smuggled the dragon out under his cloak. We left, the kobolds none the wiser. The dragon became the fighter's companion for a while before running away when they were fighting a young red dragon. At a later date, we had some big battle to plan, and I returned to the kobold encampment and recruited a dozen or so of their best fighters to help out. I think they all died, but I can't remember.

>>11596988
>"I killed them with my cloak of wonders."
Classy motherfucker.

>>11596988
Proper good job mate. Seriously.

>>11578668
>Dark heresy
>Shopping centre

wtfamireading.jpeg

Bump

My party barbarian once killed a lich, then ground his bones into powder and snorted it. I'm not sure why.

>>11597995
Wait, WHAT?

>>11597995
AND THAT'S HOW DOOMRIDER WAS BORN!

>>11597452
You don't think there are shopping centers in Dark Heresy?

WTF is wrong with you? You think the Mechanicum passes out flatware, bowls, curtains, altars, candles, clothes, books, jars, lanterns, etc? Of course not. A 'shopping center' is nothing more than a gathered marketplace with a roof. Surely we haven't forgot roofs in 40,000 years.

Side Note: Anyone notice that captcha is putting up more and more unreadable SHIT? I had to go through 9 just to get one that was vaguely typeable, and there wasn't a real word in the whole fucking list.

>>11596988

>Party consists of an Elf Scout/Monk, Human Druid, Human Rogue, Warforged Artificer/Fighter
>Traveling through an advanced underground network full of Changelings and Dopplegangers, traps, magical beasts, you name it.
>Finally reach the leader of this place, severely damaged by previous encounters.
>The moment they enter, he divides the party into two pairs with a Wall of Fire
>Scout/Monk and Druid on one side decide to leave and regroup, knowing the party isn't ready to take on this leader.
>Rogue on the other side agrees, Artificer/Fighter does not.
>They try to leave through only available routes left after Fire Wall and trip multiple spiked pit traps. The only character with a Reflex Save low enough to actually be hurt by these is the Artificer/Fighter
>He decides to stay and let them escape. Manly Warforged tears.
>Charges the BBEG, tanks a Scorching Ray.
>10 feet from BBEG, trips a spiked pit trap, saves with a natural 20, but even then, his total is only slightly above the DC.
>He leaps across the trap with his save, and grabs the ledge there, hanging at the BBEG's feet
>BBEG places a Maximized Delayed Blast Fireball at the bottom of the pit, waiting for the Artificer/Fighter to drop t a spiky, fiery death after its assuredly failed second Reflex save.
>Artificer/Fighter's turn. Doesn't attempt a second Reflex save. Uses Lunging Strike to gain 10ft reach at a penalty to his AC. Grapple check on BBEG's ankle. Looks back at party. Lets go of ledge, using that hand to throw them a thumbs up. 1200lb Adamantine Warforged with Spiked Body holds a 120lb Doppleganger in front of him as he drops 160ft into a Maximized Delayed Blast Fireball laden Spiked Pit Trap.

>SUUUUUUUPAHMAAAN.......
>Our faces

>>11578543

Only would have been better if the crack was about "Levelling the playing field".

>Dark Heresy
>Scum caught deep within cultists hideout in the basement of a rotgut factory, cover just blown
>the rest of PCs go in, guns blazing
> oops, inferno shells set the building on fire
>Everyone leaves except tech priest, who climbs pipes and whatnot above the fire to get past the screaming mob of cultist
>Finds scum unconscious next to kidnapped adepta sororitas we were tasked with finding
>One unconscious character over each shoulder, running up the stairs to get out when suddenly the fire ignites the rotgut and the whole place goes up in an explosion
>Flying tech priest, on fire with scum and adepta land unconscious outside, the rest of the party puts them out

>>11598328
;_;

>>11597452
What, they can't go shopping in the Grim Darkness Of Future anymore?

>>11598328
FUCK YEAH, WARFORGED PRIDE

>>11598328

God what I'd do to get to have a situation where I can give the badass thumbs up while my character knowingly dies to do something awesome. I want this chance at least once, but all my character deaths tend to be extremely sudden and usually as unexpected as hell.

>>11598475

No. In the Grim Grim Darkness, people only get new clothes by stitching them out of the flesh of their enemies, and/or orphans, all bowls are skulls of the fallen, all food is recycled orphans, and everyone's hobbies are either shooting heretics(real or imagined) or committing heresey.

Online game. HUGE group-combat which threw all 6 of the site's separate parties (so, 20+ PCs) into one big brawl with about a billion cultist's of Orcus and several "evil PCs" who had rolled villainous characters just for this fight. The setting was fairly classy; a huge, classical theater, with the PCs entering via booths far above and needing to find a way down before they could join the fray. We were all between 2nd and 4th level.

I was a righteous gnome cleric. I had a potion of Spider Climb, but I had already given it to the nearest human so that he would carry my two gnome-bros down into the fray. I had other plans.

Down below, there was one stylish-but-ultimately-outmatched group that included a rogue, a fighter, and a rogue/fighter (old partymate of mine) surrounded by enemies. The rogue in particular was down to 2 HP with no spellcasters in sight, and was practically writing his character's eulogy in the OoC thread.

>Round 1: Hand off potion and give orders to human; approach railing
>Round 2: Summon giant celestial bee
>Round 3: Grab bee by the legs and ride it 80 feet down to land beside the aforementioned party
Round 4: Bee flies in circles to distract enemies (use up AoOs). Cure Moderate Wounds for maximum healing (2d8+3=19, which put him at full health). Brofist as free action. Draw weapon as move action.

And yes, we totally kicked their asses. Lots of PCs died but none at my end of the pool.

Not my story, is copypasta. But is delicious good copypasta.

>weduard FROM

Who the hell is making these captchas? They suck. This is the clearest one I've seen today.

>>11599081
No matter how many books Google scans, they'll still have trouble keeping up with the sheer number of CAPTCHA results per day that 4chan generates. I think they've been reduced to using random word generators.

>carkwage the

>PC (Dragonborn paladin) Surrounded by ...lets call them zombies on a fortress battlement during a siege
>He's a paladin so he can really hit them for much damage
>After getting his ass kicked for a couple of rounds grabs one of the zombies and uses it as a battering ram to clear a path to the rest of the party

>>11599081
Sweet Jesus. That's awesome.
Here; trade.

>>11599081

Holy fuck.

"Remember children. Once the Maelstorm Serpent was a fisherman, not unlike your Pa..."

>>11599081
>>11599271
This needs to be made as a /tg/ pirate setting.
Filled with NOBLEBRIGHT and a single wandering Eldricht abomination in the form of a man.
Infact; best /tg/ related character EVER.
This guy and the Son of a Woodsman.

>>11599081

The part I love about this is the player singlehandedly and irrevocably turned the GM's grimdark setting brighter. It's easy enough to destroy the world. It's a hell of a lot harder to fix it.

>>11599313

Who's the Son of a Woodsman?

Also, if this happens, I want to get in on the ground floor.

So, the game is like Doom; my players are on Mars, people have uncovered That In Which Humanity Should Not Meddle But Have, everything is going to hell in a handbasket, and they're just trying to get to a landing bay to steal a shuttle and get the fuck out.
They do some crawling through ruins, corridors, learn some history, get some foreshaddowing, sneak through air ducts, and find themselves in a maintenance closet. All they need to do is go straight down a long corridor, hang a right, and they'll be at a big bay full of ships. A player (who took the blue collar background, and loved calling himself a Space Janitor) asks, "Hey, are there carts in here? This is a pretty big place, I can't see them making people walk everywhere."
He has a good point. A very good point. So the Lord their DM sayeth unto them, "Let there be carts," and there were. And it was good.
The next 45 minutes turned from the planned "taking the beaches of Normandy one bunker at a time" into mobile combat; someone driving, someone hacking doors to open before they reached them, the others shooting cyberzombies and mechanically enhanced skeletons. Eventually, because it had to be done, enemies chased after them in another cart.
That's fucking right. One question turned the end of that leg of the adventure into the end of Space Mutiny.
BLAST HARDCHEESE!

>>11599081

Wow, I have to wonder how the player managed to avoid corruption.

>>11578131
just like in okami?

>>11599375

Lawful Good done right?

>>11599342
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/The_doll

A 40K Berserker who remembered that a monster isn't what he wanted to be when he was younger. The living Avatar of Noblebright in /tg/ 40K canon; there's quite a bit of writing on him, but the archives are down.

>>11599396
>>11599375

An edgy DM (wish I could come up with a less dismissive way of phrasing that) faced with a paladin feels threatened, because the very concept of paladins states that There Is A Right Way And You Should Follow It. So, they set out to disprove that by making the paladin fall.

Such a DM faced with a non-paladin goodie-two-shoes (especially someone like that; a stupid old sailor) doesn't feel threatened at all; he just sees the characters as a buffoon, and is content to let him act like one.

>>11599081
Anyone know what game this guy is referring to? Because it sounds fucking awesome.

>>11599498

Sounds like a homebrew system.

I wonder if someone could post up the rules and modifications

>>11599375
Player of that PC here; he was just good.
He never turned down someone in need, he protected people where he could, he never stole, fought or allowed the other PCs to when he could stop them or there was another way around, no matter how hard, he saw the best in people and told them so.
He once turned back and fought a tide of monsters that was chasing them when a young woman they didn't even know, who had tried to steal all his gold only a few hours before, tripped over while they were evacuating a village after the BBEG attacked it; he almost died saving her and it took him weeks to get back to the PC party in a rowing boat with only him, her and a dog they picked up on the way as company, living off fish, letting her eat first when there wasn't enough, when they went their seperate ways, she later appeared again, as a completly changed woman...just by seeing what he was, even in the face of the world as it was, just seeing that he was what he claimed to be.
He was kind, honest and just. That's how he was pure.

>>11599525
>>11599572 Here.
The GM has the system and I've lost contact with him for a while, it was an improvised system based of 'Altars and Archetypes', which you can find through google.

>>11599572

Hey player:

what was the system you guys were running?
Is the new game under the same GM?
How's that game going?

>>11599572
Your quite truly a god among men. Congrats you saved the world. Then you fixed it.

>>11599081

Scratch my last comment, I'd trade anything to get to do something like THIS.

>>11599375
>>11599317
>>11599238
>>11599081

That's fucking terrible. It's like a Power Rangers game. Herp let me transform into an equally giant monster to battle the giant monster derp.

/tg/ you disappoint me. You're supposed to rip that kinda shit apart, unless you're a samefag.

>>11599626
>>11599634
Its going well; we've started near the coast and are currently diving for Pearls and Urchins as a contract job.
Of course the Urchins in this are about 12 foot across and bite, but hey, it's paying work and the job should pay enough to buy a small ship between us some day soon.
The group is made of 4 fishermen, all with old Jobs before they became fishermen.
Also; there have been serious changes to the map as the seas have grown subtly from the effect of a water themed God existing, so there's more to explore and the world feels/is new.

>>11599763

Ah, no subtle evil yet; nothing to stamp down to make the world clean again?
-nudge nudge-

>>11599686
You think that was a crazy story, you should hear the story of Warren Abraham Sullivan, the greatest gun fighter, cowboy and bounty hunter in the history of the world.
He was also the last cowboy.

>>11599756

Either 1) you're a troll, and a shitty one at that, or 2) you didn't read it thoroughly enough. If the former, work on your technique. If the latter, well, you just kind of suck. Read it again.

>>11599791
Not yet; we're only 2 sessions in though, so give it time and some evil will raise its head.

>>11599081
>>11599572

I want to writefag this, you mind?

>>11599854
Sure go for it. I'm a shit writer anyway.
Also if anyone does want to hear about Warren, then I'll tell that story as well.

WTF?!?! i posted in this thread 2 day ago...
is this how things run in /tg/ usually?!

>you are now realising that the OPs picture's machine....also has a monocle

Werewolf game. We had created our tribe, chosen our totem and whatnot when I had to leave the group due to RL issues. Nothing really exciting happened other than our group of 5, consisting me playing a hobo Bone Gnawer complete with a hobo knife fetish, a Black Fury face, a Children of Gaia ritual specialist, a Glass Walker information specialist/book worm, and a Silver Fang former US Soldier.

Before I left we had a big fight against a BBEG we were supposed to lose. Lots of lucky rolls from the sniper with a .50 cal and me dodging a LOT and we brought him down. The council was impressed enough to grant us a better base, better equipment(even though the Glass Walker was essentially a millionaire so money really wasn't a big problem), and a higher status.

Well, the GM decided that since I quit playing, my character left and went to go join the Shadow Lords operations against the previous mentioned council. The next boss fight they faced was me. My character killed them all, in a battle they were supposed to win. He:
Threw the Child of Gaia off of a cliff on the first turn of combat, killing her that way,
Chewed the Black Fury's face literally,
Disemboweled the Glass Walker,
and the Silver Fang put up a decent fight, but I had apparently kind of munchkin'd without knowing it: I had toughness 8 and was pretty much ignoring his shots. Close range->kill

I like living the hobo life
Stabbing all the people with my hobo knife.

>>11599894
>mybrainisfulloffuck.jpg

>>11599887
Good threads in /tg/ can run for months. After the thread caps out people will repost it and it will continue.

>>11599894

>>11599966
Okay, I understand the one in front is a thief, the one after that is a warrior, and then the next one is a wizard. But what is the one in back supposed to be?

>>11600000
Cleric, maybe?

>>11600000
Cleric

>>11600000
cleric

>>11600000

Cleric/loot hauler

>>11599894
I noticed that ages ago.

>>11600032
>>11600036
>>11600038
>>11600046

... So he's a druid?

This is actually something I did, but that my DM was (slightly, if not more) impressed with.

>stuck in the middle of river on a magical boat
>engine trouble, current is going to carry us back to our point of origin if we don't act soon
>rush to put down anchor, the current is so strong it's about to break the ship's timbers
>realize there's another anchor on board, need to get to shore to perform repairs
>come up with the brilliant idea of throwing the second anchor as far away from the ship as possible, pulling up first anchor, letting the ship drift closer to the bank, dropping the first anchor, pulling up the second snchor...rinse and repeat
>bitch, i'm ANCHORWALKING!

We were playing some typical game of D&D, trying to hunt down some psionic magguffin so we could prevent the BBEG from ressurrecting himself AGAIN. We had managed to track it down to some wizards tower.

Now when we get there we figure out that the wizards tower is surrounded by all of the prismatic barriers. Now everyone is being really reluctant, except for my borderline retarded/psychotic Sorc/Barb. After arguing that we have no way to dispel it and don't want to take the chance etc. my character starts to get pissed off; I fly off the handle, pick up the nearby halfling rogue my friend ALWAYS plays, and chuck him through the barriers.

Folks, OP posting here after I saw this thread pop up after posting it and forgetting about it late last night.

All ya'll have done yourselves proud. Keep up the tireless exploits, /tg/.

>>11599875
>>11599807
Lets hear about Warren then Fisherman

>>11600150 cont

He makes a pretty good projectile I must say, and the flight only takes off half his life as he gets through the first four barriers or so. But the last three are dooozies. In midair though, he gets the bright idea to use the magical effect on his belt, suddenly transposing himself with me. Helpless to my fate I hurl through the Save or Die; Save. I hurl through the Save or Petrify; Save, and I finally hurl through the Save or whisked off to the Astral Plane. I don't save.

So there I sit, bored out of my mind on the Astral Plane, sure that the smug little halfling is laughing his ass off back on the material plane. So in order to pass the time, my GENIUS of a character decides that the best course of action is to shoot himself with his own Rod of Wonder.
>First roll: 99
>Effect: Instantly transported to the Astral Plane, if already on the Astral plane, transported back to the Material Plane.

The Halfling shat bricks as my mouthbreather Barbarian suddenly repopped into existance and started wandering around behind the magical barriers. Dicking around inside the tower and such.

>>11599081

This is a pretty good story, considering the system you were working with, but the system itself raises an eyebrow.

For one thing, the whole corruption system is more suited for CoC-type games and the like, where things are gritty and morality is gray. On the other hand, that whole trance thing is just completely the opposite, more in line with an exalted-like game where PCs brim with awesomeness and such. Putting them together is just really weird.

>>11600332
It did get the whole "fate hanging on a thread" thing going on, just by opposing mechanics. Also, the fisherman only won because he had the ability only a "good man" would have around

>playing a Rogue in 3.5, Age of Worms campaign
>reach city run by LE Champion of Hextor
>city hadpreviously been terrorized by a black dragon, currently missing
>stuff happens
>we get invited to a party thrown by the city's regent
>we need formal attire, look around for tailors
>most of the party goes to expensive places, buys silk and the like
>I remember we have a black dragon corpse from a few sessions back, preserved via gentle repose
>go to a peasant seamstress, since she knows how to work with leather
>give her black dragon leather
>pay her 10 times her asking price
>attend party in Black Dragonscale tuxedo, accented with dragon bones and onyx

It gets even better:
>by sheer chance, the dragon we killed was the one terrorizing the city. No, seriously, it's in the adventure.

Attached pic is what I envision it looking like, only, y'know, scaly. Not made from butterflies.

>>11600213
Well Warren was a character from a Solo game my GM was running, based in a Steampunk, Low Fantasy Wild West World.
He was a Farm boy by birth, and his Dad grew 2 things, Horses and wheat. He had 2 sisters and an older brother, who's name was Jake.
When Warren was 12, Jake left to become a bounty hunter; he hated Jake for that for a long time and didn't forgive him for even longer.
Until the day the messenger came to the farm.
Now this was a progressive world game, and Warren new little to nothing about the world as a whole, he wasn't educated, he was smart though, and wise in a sturdy sort of way; as well as being big as a brick shit house and able to bare knuckle box with the best of them.

>>11600683
The messenger had a contract letter from the local governor, the family was behind on its debts and the ranch was to be sold.
Warren thought to himself 'Forget that'; and Jake turned up, Jake, who had been gone nearly 8 long year; turned up out the blue and pointed out that it was a load of horse shit and that the governor was so crooked he could walk through a corckscrew sideways.
But the ranch did have debts; big ones.
And there were 3 ways to make quick money in the world, Oil, Luck and Bounty Hunting.
Warren did what he needed to; and after a long time and a lot of work, he saved the ranch.

>>11600695
He was softly spoken, and his accent made him sound like a Hick when he first went into the world, but he was sharp as a Razor, harder working than a team of Immigrant workers and their horses and more patient than a mountain.
He once took a dying wolf and let it lie by the fire of his camp because 'Nothin' deserves t' die 'lone; an' 's long 's I can stop 't happinin' why n't?'
And then he hung up his bounty hunting guns, the best bounty hunter in the West, better even than Jake. He's done incredible things, like being at the birth of one of the great spirits; the guardians of the Desert, huge Wolf men, wild and unrestrained, the spirit promising to watch over him forever for being at his birth. They do not see each other again for many years.
But he'd made enemies and so he couldn't go home.
So he became a travelling Merchant, which is (And I kid you not, the GM and I worked this out together before hand) where he met his partner, a Native American Wolf-Girl. Spice And West the game was called.

>>11600717
Now they wandered for another 20 years worth of game play pottering about, righting wrongs, slaying BBEGs, doing Heroics and making a marginal profit from trading whiskey later, In Game that is; before a problem came up.
The advance of technology, Warren had always hated technology, it ruined his father, and it ruined the hands, it broke the deal between man and earth, that you take what you put in with the sweat on your back and the strength of your heart. And this was the worst type of Technology. It was a kingdom where technology was worth more than people. The Era of Steam arrived truely to the West. And Quiet Gun Slingers who travelled the west righting wrongs and being strangers wern't needed anymore.
And they brought with them a sort of magic; that killed the technology that the old machines worked off, including his weapons and his mechanical horse, Rupert Jr, the mechanical horses being the greatest invention of the west and what kept it going really, along with the trains.

>>11600731
Like a plague, the 1st Era of the West was over with a whimper.
And worse, his friend…his partner, was killed, the last of her kind to be free from the reservations.
So he left the west and travelled beyond the borders of the map, leaving nothing behind but a pair of guns, buried deep in the heart of the Desert, and his partner and lover, who wanted to stay with civilization, having become used to it.
Another 30 years past and the world grew colder...Warren grew older, and wilder, and more one with the Earth; never making contact with man. He became one of the legends that people speak of only in whispers; of a wild man who was one with the desert and who saved people who were lost in it, who howled at the moon on cloudless nights, who ran with the wolf pack and shared his fire with the great scorpions of the wastes; who was as fleeting as the wind, with a voice like soft Thunder and a terrible speed, like lightning made man.

>>11577752

They didn't "win" shit. Sounds to me like they burned up a very valuable copy of Liver Ivonis making it very unlikely that they'll be able to hold their own in future scenarios. They are also arsonists and are likely to be investigated by the local police. Yeah, they dun goof'd.

>>11600753
He searches constantly for one place.
Desertend. The mythical heart of the desert; where lies an oasis that can heal any wound...even death, no matter how long it has been.
And one day; a group of young men finds him, 3 young men to be exact; all the sons of old friends of his, who are now long gone. And they tell him what the worlds become, a truly Steampunk world, metal worth more than man...and brass more than blood and family; and a terrible tower, built by the guardians of the Land, to catch the storms themselves, to harness them to their will and to become greater than man. But no storm had come to the desert in the last 30 years.
And the man who leads them is the man who ruined Warrens life by destroying his horse, his guns, his trade, his people, by killing his friend...his lover.
And then he finds out the truth; after 30 years...

>>11600807
She's alive...and captive in the tower.
And he, instantly ups and lopes for days, faster than the boys on their horses can follow nearly, to the point where he hid his guns and his horse and the fire of his soul. He rides again; just like when he was a Cowboy and a gun slinger...and one of them points out he still is, and he smiles to himself with a 'I suppose...the last gun slinger'
He rides for the tower, at the heart of a metal city where a strong man has no use because a machine can be stronger.
He smashes down the gates on his horse, the towers defenses not made to handle a gunslinger, made to handle zepplins, and rioters, but not one man, one living Avalanch of will and lead, with nothing but his guns, the sweat of his back and the strength of his heart to drive him forward, as he rides to the rescue of the woman he loves.

>>11600820
She's in a sorry state when he finds her, but they're together again...they hug and kiss and hug some more.
Then he's shot, in the back, by that bastard who created this place.
And its hit her too.
He rises from the near dead as those 3 boys and that man watch on, and he tears the man apart with his bare hands; the sleeping Giant finally roused for the First and only time in Warrens life. Then collapses.
All goes silent, the 3 boys start to cry gently, as the last Gun slinger gently walks over to her, as she bleeds out and lies down next to her, gently kissing her hand and promising he will cross over with her.
Then a howl, a Bellowing roar of a howl, like the sound of 10,000 wolves resonates through the city, like the sound of the desert itself come to life; and the Great Spirit comes, bringing the storms of the desert with him and riding them to the aid of the man he promised to protect.
And he picks the two of them up, as easily as babies and disappears into the desert, with a whisper of a promise that no man heard.
But they knew in their hearts where he was taking them.
Desertend.

>>11600332

It would be really weird in a published game.

Homebrewers, on the other hand, tend to use any and all rules that they think are awesome. And the results can be way sweeter than you'd think.

(Case in point: corruption mechanics aren't 'dark' at all, that's just your perception of them. What they really do is throw the Good/Evil distinction into punishing relief (morality isn't forgiving, and even 'heroes' often have corruption, but conversely the absence of corruption makes you mythically good, which in this case dovetails beautifully with the FUCK YEA HEROISM vibe of the 'trance' mechanic).

>>11600829
Those 3 boys were other PCs, that had just joined the game, it became a campaign world for all 4 of us, as I took a new character, the green boy of the group; who took up the name 'The Second to Last Gunslingers'
Because no one else had a right to hold the title of the Last Gunslinger in their eyes after what they saw that night.
Because you have to forge your own fame and skill.
The GM, at the request of everyone else, let me take a special race for this character; one no one else got an offer for.
Half human, half Wolf person...He's a big lad too...with a voice like thunder, wild grey eyes, hair the colour of wheat in the autumn and a natural hand with a gun. It must be in the blood, but not from his dad, maybe it skipped a generation?
The campaign is slow starting, but Zacharia Gerulf Sullivan is slowly carving his own name into the wind and moon.

>>11600847
>>11600332
The trance mechanic was less 'Fuck yeah! Heroes!' and more 'Fuck yeah! Emotions!'; the BBEG got a trance form as well, as did most important NPCs.

>>11600872

What you have there is beauty, sir. It is, in fact, so damn good that it pisses me off, because I have a sneaking suspicion that I will never be able to create anything of equal or grater value. Which, of course, motivates me to try. It will be done. Just you fucking watch.

Thank you.

Fucking saved.

Once, my players were fighting an Efreeti and it's pet 2-headed Nessian Hellhound. They killed it's master, but the pet was almost untouched. So, the paladin/bard and sorcerer both decided to cast the same spell: Summon Monster V, each summoning 5 celestial owls. Those 10 brave owls bought the players 3 turns to heal themselves before it attacked them again.

Bump

>>11600332
Exalted itself has a Corruption mechanic.

Unless I'm grossly misinterpreting the effects (despite the cause) of Limit.

Werewolf game.

>PC werewolves are chasing a Wyrm Spirit Train through the city.
>I expect the PCs to board it, have a train-top battle planned.
Ahroun: I switch to crinos and derail the train.
Me: How?
Ahroun: I throw myself in front of it.
Me: ... Ok, you take...
>roll all the dice I can hold in both hands
Me: ...this much damage.
>Several minutes of counting later.
Me: 23 bashing damage.
Ahroun: Ok, I soak, take 8 damage, then rage heal, and *roll* I'm at full. I grab the engine and lift it off the tracks. 6 successes.
Me: You derail the train.
>O.o

>>11602272
Not really corruption. More like a psychological flaw in beings of immense power. They get stressed, then "snap", then feel better afterwards.

>>11602616

Over time, though, as they gain more and more Essence and break limit more and more, they get worse and worse. Eventually, Exalts get caught in a permanent Limit Break.

Sounds sorta corruption-y to me.

>>11602654

YEAH, BUT IT'S NOT ACTUALLY REPRESENTED MECHANICALLY.

THERE *ARE* THINGS THAT GIVE YOU PERMANENT LIMIT, BUT THE VERY ACT OF LIMIT BREAKING OR GAINING ESSENCE NEVER WILL.

THE EXCEPTION IS ALCHEMICALS, WHO GAIN CLARITY (WHICH IS DIFFERENT FROM LIMIT ANYWAY) FOR EVERY DOT OF ESSENCE OVER 5.

>>11602693
>>11602654
Also, the "Great Curse" is more along the lines of gradual insanity than corruption.

Also, Clarity is pretty neat, but doesn't seem to be a problem at all if you don't plan on being a face character.

>>11602531
That is a badass werewolf

>>11599854

After all we’d been through, we finally confronted him. The monster who’d killed hundreds of innocent people, ruined countless lives, and planned to do far worse. We were going to stop him from completing his twisted apotheosis.

He didn’t even have to turn to face us. With a stray thought and a flick of his finger, he knocked us all off our feet. Evil, so concentrated I could taste it, pounded away at us. We were all inches away from death. I watched as his form grew larger and even more monstrous; eyes, limbs, tentacles,claws, and horns all appearing where they should not. I watched him as he held that crystal aloft, it slowly becoming a part of him. And something inside me said “No.”

Just a small voice, at first. Just disbelief at what I was seeing. But then I realized. This man was going to destroy everything I ever loved, everything I believed in. He wasn’t going to stop at destruction. He’d mold the universe into a twisted vision of himself. Righteous, protective rage spread through, as that small denial turned into a raging yell against a destiny that led to such horror. I could not let him win.

He’d already forgotten us, fully engrossed in his growing power. He didn’t notice as I pulled myself to my feet. The rage passing through me gave me strength I didn’t know I had. An energy boiled through me that I couldn’t identify. Green mists began to coalesce at my feet, and although I could not see it at the time, I began to change as well. I grew taller, and my clothes took on the appearance of seaweed. My hair looked like great waves, tossing in the storm of my fury. My eyes glowed radiant blue. In a way, I became the ocean itself.

>>11599854
>>11605270

Now, I had the monster’s attention. He swung around, attacking with all of his might. The blow struck me to the core. His evil was so strong, it pervaded every sense. Looking upon him, my vision faltered and failed, only seeing a terrible warped something. My hearing was filled with the screams of the dying. I could smell and taste the horrible, familiar reek of blood both old and freshly spilt. My skin crawled, and my sense of balance left me. I nearly fell then, but I couldn’t allow it to happen. I gathered my will, and somehow, I weathered his attack.

My revulsion and disgust mixed with my fury and fear. Suddenly, I lunged, grabbing him by two of his horns. Another wave of his corruption washed over me. And I changed in form again, this time into something far more monstrous than some man of the sea. I became a titanic serpent forged from flesh, lightning, wind, and sea. I grew so large, that I seemed to fill the very skies themselves. In my mind was only one thought.

Destroy the unclean godling.

I struck back, with a force that shook the both the earth and the seas. Even on the brink of his godhood, the monster was no match for me. I utterly crushed him in that one single blow, tearing him asunder and destroying him forever. No longer a man, he didn’t even receive an afterlife. There was none that could give him the torment he’d earned. He went into the void, and it devoured him, even as he would have devoured the universe. In the end, nothing of him remained. He had no soul to pass onward.

>>11599854
>>11605270
>>11605284

The danger over, I diminished back into my human form, just barely aware of what I had just done. I saw a bright flash, and instinctively, I caught the crystal the beast had gained his power from. It looked like a single, large teardrop. I paused for an instant, took in a breath and held it to my heart. And time stopped.

A vast voice, ancient beyond imagining, said to me “Look upon your misdeeds, sinner, and despair.”

I thought for a while. I wasn’t a bad person. Sure, I’d done a few things in my life I wasn’t proud of, but nothing I could really say I hadn’t come to terms with long ago. Mostly, I’d just tried to live my life the best I could, and treat others the way I wanted them to treat me. I hadn’t really ever thought of it, but I wasn’t really much of a “sinner”.

“How can this be? This world is corrupt and dying!” The voice sounded shocked.

Corrupt? Dying? What about common decency? I couldn’t believe that the world as a whole was an evil place. Surely there was more good in the world than evil.

“Perhaps… I was wrong. Maybe there was hope, and I saw incorrectly…” The voice faded.

>>11599854
>>11605270
>>11605284
>>11605296

Suddenly, I felt power rushing into me. Instead of holding it in, I simply let it flow through and out of me. I’d had enough of supernatural might for one day. Still, the power continued to flow without ceasing. I realized it was flowing from me now. I was the source. The crystal was no longer in my hand. I realized that I was now a god myself. I couldn’t stay among humanity now. I was too powerful.

So I left my companions, and live alone on the sea now, fishing. It’s the one thing I have left from before all the excitement and danger began. The years come and go. Occasionally, I cross paths with other fishermen in the night, far from shore. We talk about the state of the world. I was correct, it is a better place than that tear thought it was. And though I may spend an evening with them, I’m gone before morning.

After all, it’s not a god’s place, to meddle in the matters of mortals.

>>11599854
>>11605270
>>11605284
>>11605296
>>11605309

>Offer to write something, forget to finish it until hours later. HERPDERP.

On another note, the original story needs to be on 1d4chan. It's just too epic not to be.

I have to say, though, that ended up being easier than I thought it would be. Comments?

>PCs are trying to stop a small army.
>DM counts on them trying to trick them into letting them join then fight the Big Bad Guy one on one.
>PCs instead try to face entire army. (Lvl 5)
>25 Conscript Minions, 35 Human Soldiers, 2 Mages, 1 Carnage Demon
>Village they take a stand in has a mill.
>PCs make bombs out of flour and detonate the fermenting grain silo.
>PCs win a level 17 encounter at level 5.

>>11605354

Hell yes. Outside the box thinking FTW

>streins increase

Actually, captcha, I think they did the opposite..

bumpin for the writefaggotry

bamp

Holy shit. I need to stop by here more often. You guys are awesome.

>Engineer's mineishi
What the hell is a "mineishi?"

>Playing Cleric of Kord in game about killing a god
>Campaign ends, manage to kill god
>Kord pleased, but I can't be allowed to keep the knowledge of how to do that.
>Kord ready to strike me down so I can be re-incarnated and my memory wiped
>Interrupt swing to challenge Kord to arm-wrestling contest
>Use both Strength and Luck Domain powers
>Manage to hold my own against a god for one round.
>Next round I lose so hard I am atomized.

>>11606455

Not a bad way to go, really. Especially if someone else knows you did it, and you pass into legend. If not, well, you still did it.

>>11605270
>>11605284
>>11605296
>>11605309
Dear sweet Jesus, we need some drawfaggotry of this man right away!
Also Bump for the Fisherman God!

>>11606950
Well here's the original concept picture for him.
He later gained a huge Fisherman coat which he wore for a while, in Royal Blue; and grew an Ahab Beard.

>>11605338

Sorry, mate. It just doesn't do the source material justice. It's kinda bland.

Bumping because there's still 50 posts left for awesome before we hit autosage.

God mnad it /tg/
Bump!

Bump for the great serpent.

Playing an AFMBE game (coffee break of the dead preset game centered around an office building). One of the PC's dies from a leg bite that noone patched up because a) he didnt want to tell anyone and b) he was an asshole. PC clear out conferance room of Zeds and look out onto the street below 4 floors down. Police barricades, zombies everywhere pure chaos. One of the PCs decides to break the glass and try and tell the cops that there are survivors in the building but they cant hear them over the noise. The crazier of the bunch ( a disgruntled ex-emplyee who brought a bag of guns to work with the intention of going postal) decides it would be a good idea to get a peice of paper and write "alive inside, fourth floor" on it and put it on a paper needle and stab it through the dead Pcs chest, then throw it down to the ground below. Well nothing happend at first but after a while he rose as a zombie and started walking toward the police line. One of the cops went to gun it down but noticed the note, shot the zombie, went over to it read it and looked up. The ex employee gave them a friendly wave.

not amazing but i sure as hell didnt see that coming.

MOAR

>PCs hear rats
>They set a vial of oil by the opening they'll come out of
>Ranger shoots oil with flaming arrow
>Rats attack players while on fire
>Pally starts throwing rats down a pit
>my face

Players are in an AMFBE/Road Warrior campaign, find a settlement with boxed-in zombies/perimeter guards; each one is wearing either a cage thing on its head to prevent bites or a camera, to give the settlers unrestricted visual range for intruders. When players see that they need medical supplies (they have one guy with a mild case of cholera and two more with the earliest symptoms) they try to bargain with the settlers.
>Screw you, possibly-raider scum! Bring us one of the hardass raiders heads apiece and maybe, just maybe, we'll let you get a single treatment.
Response from players:
>Sure. See you in a few hours.
Nearest raider settlement: six hours away, both ways.

They grab a settlement scout, then give him cholera by spitting into a canteen as a group, then tie him to the windshield of their least-survivable car, then cut out his tongue after he shows the first signs.

As a final "fuck you", they break his hands and deafen him by firing off a few rounds next to his head and blind him with a floodlight. By the time he can communicate, he's already been taken in by the settlement, having been left by the front gate.
Result...
Entire settlement is exposed to cholera.
They negotiated a deal within minutes.

>>11610107
Ah another AFMBE player. can you clarify someting for me? If a zombie's weak point is the head (and the zombies has say 20hp) can damage to its Hp only happen if its weak point is struck? or can the zombie be hit in say teh chest and have 60 damage done to it and still die?

>>11610154
As a general rule, damage done to a non-weak spot is ignored, unless its something hideous, like a chainsaw across their legs or a piano wire trap taking out an arm. Apply damage to limb destroying based off how tough your given zombie is, but remember: if it isn't in the weak point, mostly, you're doing cosmetic damage or disabling a limb, not registering a kill.

We have, from time to time, had players who threw spears into zombies register it as a kill, if it was cinematic, such as the guy who threw a metal pipe into one's chest when it stood near an electric fence, or the guy who dumped one into wet cement, as we ruled it would be an eventual kill when the cement hardened.

>players are investigating a corrupt doctor who's dissecting innocents to use in crazy ass experiments
>players sneak into the hospital he's working out of and knock out one of the doctor's aides
>one player disguises as the aide, the other (with a loaded shotgun) gets into a gurney and throws a sheet over himself
>disguised player wheels the gurney into the doctor's office, doctor removes the sheet and gets a shotgun round to the face

I had planned for the doctor to put up a big fight, but they finished him off in a single round of combat.

I have posted this story like a million times but what the heck.
>Eclipse Phase and Mass Effect cross-over
>PC's are Firewall agents posted to Shanxi
>TURIAN INVASION MUTHA F*CKAS
>My character is a super merc with a pimped up furie morph
>Other PC's consist of a hacker and a lolrandumb crab farming crab redneck.
>I go and scout the landscape while others secure hacking positions.
>I find a Turian foward base
"Do I see any enviromental hazards like "red barrels"?"
"Roll perception."
"1."
"You see a half buried generator in the middle of the camp."
"I shoot it with my sniper rifle."
>I was 2km away.
"Roll."
"45."
>I needed to roll 93 or under
>Maximum damage
>Pic related
>Death toll:over 300 with countless wounded
"One shot *puts on glasses* 350 kills."

>>11610202
ah thanks for clarifying that. I had one of my Pc perform a wierd kill. basically stumbled into the town police station and escaped the clutches of the undead, realising that there were no cops around started looking for a weapon. He went into the Sherriffs office thinking he would be able to find a revolver or something only to have teh Sherrif sit up in his chair quick as a flash and stare at teh PC and started growling. Unarmed and about to become zombie chow he picked up the nearest thing in teh room ( a portrait) and threw it like a disc at teh zombie cutting its head off. Normally i wouldnt alow it but he kept exploding those damn 10s so I had to give him something.

>>11610264
I would have ruled it cinematically awesome, but would have figured the edge of the portrait knocked in the sheriff's temple or forebrain through the eye socket. Both work, and your player should feel awesome.

The Road Warrior-esque campaign ended, humanity made a comeback; we've started up a new campaign set inside a car manufacturing plant, which has driven them insane as they don't lack for armored transport, just for food and gasoline.

Campaign is going well, with the first kill going to the waitress/savvy survivor who used a spatula handle as a shiv; the first swing snapped the head off, so she gave it a follow-up right into the eye socket. Best called shot I'd seen in the game.

>End of campaign, PCs are fighting the BBEG guy who essentially is a crazed librarian.
>He animates a few dozen weapons and other objects while channeling magic for his end of the world spell.
>The PCs are losing the fight against the dozen wooden clubs.
>Party mage realizes they're not gonna win this and shouts some orders to the rest of the party.
>Mage takes out a magical trinket they had gotten from the ruler of a city on the other side of the world.
>The item would instantly teleport them there.
>Mage uses the trinket and gets the portal up.
>Some of the party go through. Fighter and mage are left.
>Fighter takes one of the clubs from the floor and throws it at the BBEG. Natural 20.
>Club hits BBEG in the head and his spell becomes unstable.
>Mage fires a special spell (he asked the GM if it'd be fine, it was) designed to make the magic unstable.
>Mage and fighter dive through portal as the BBEG's spell backfires and close the portal behind them.
>Later they get a message that most of the continent they had been on had been vaporized.
>'Collateral damage.'

>homebrew zombie apocalypse, contemporary shit
>PCs stuck in an above-ground subway train, slicing whatever sticks it's arm in
>one PC, a psychotic museum curator who believes himself to be Alexander the Great, takes his falchion and dives out the subway slicing through everything
>Alexander reaches the subway controls generator and rule-of-cools it on
> subway begins taking off without Alexander in a platform filled with the undead
>PCs begin mourning his loss, but the fucker managed to use his zombie-trampling abilities with his cleaving abilities to reach the train and jam his sword into the wall of it
>in doing so, he reached negative HP and was bleeding to death without the stability to get himself into the moving train
>sword jammed in right side of train, he slid off when the train turned left
>motherfucker pulled a grenade as his last action, shouted, and blew up an entire car lot
>those fuckers should have died for even entering that subway train

>>11610350
In a somewhat related campaign, tabletop ended that night with them barricading the Policestation and locking a crazed Policeman in the cells (oh irony) but i continued with one of the player's story over msn. He ended up escaping out the back when the barricades could no longer hold them and the entire party was swarmed only he made it. Running through the back alleys of the town trying to evade large packs of zombies ended up being cornered by no more than 8 zombies. His rifle had jammed becuase dirt/puddle (nature hated this gun) so was forced to push some bins over, climb a dumpster and jump for the fire escape ladder which collapsed down. Scaling it quickly as the dead started to huddle around the ladder he entered through the 5th story window of an apartment building. After an extended encounter with an undead riot cop, wrestled with it ,made attempts with improvised weapons (all of which either broke or he missed (threw a vase at it and missed it by 3 feet). PC and the zombie wrestling over the riot shotgun ended up kicking it out of the window and taking the gun, began exploring teh building. The PC noticed a woman in spec ops gear carrying a breifcase heading up the stairs and he followed her to the roof. A helicopter picked her up and when the PC ran toward it she fired warning shots at him as it began to fly away. A bit angry he began firing shots at the Heli. The copter started turning around. The PC was in deep shit.

>>11610264
Well too be with some weapons you can cause Shock deaths. The force of the blow could destroy the brain, like if you blew a mans leg off with a .50 sniper rifle, he would die from the force of the blow, not the blood loss.

>>11610545
my god .50 rounds in AFMBE fucking ruin you. Hell a .22 can kill you if you roll high enough. Max damage with a .50cal round (no range modifiers or exploding rolls of tens D10x6 so 60, double that because the round is hitting flesh and there is no armour resistance so 120 now if it was the head you times that by 4, so 480Dmg. Survivors generally have around 50 Hp. If you are running a gun heavy game they suggest that you dont double damage on flesh but thats still 240 damage. You are one dead sack of shit.

>>11610545
For a normal, living person, yes - but in AFMBE, given we're discussing zombies, all you've done is disperse the body into two chunks, one of which is mobile (albeit slower than it was originally). If the parts are independently mobile, you've also doubled your local threats.

Good shot. Most people just eliminate a threat with a single bullet.

>>11610620
Would you happen to know if Argh! Thar Be Zombies was ever released? Local hobby store doesn't know anything about it and I cant find a Torrent for a pdf either. Where can I find one?

>>11610667
http://www.allflesh.com/8012.html
Its been out for a while, apparently.

Varyingdegreesofwant.jpg

>>11610686
2007!? Holyshit someone has to have torrent for this somewhere! I'd buy it if i could but im running low on funds and need to pay for food etc. Stupid GFC. >:(

>>11610808
I have tried looking for a torrent, but have come up dry. I'm hitting /rs/ next, mostly in blind optimism. If I find something, I'll report back.

Wish me luck.

>>11610808
/rs/ failed me; my three favorite torrent sites are down/missing/on fire. Bad signs are bad.

>>11610976
blast! No mutated scurvy strain zombies for me! >:( I guess someone will eventually find one. I'm dead tired

>>11610997
As soon as I find one, I'll see to it being promoted shamelessly in both /tg/ and /rs/. Its too awesome an idea to let it die (so to speak). Until then, I'm re-reading CotLD, and planning for the next campaign.
>Office Space meets Dawn of the Dead

Initech is begging to be used as a source for a zombie apocalypse.

Undead Lumbergs, everywhere.

This is a good thread, and all of /tg/ should feel good.

>>11611039
Coffee break of the Living dead it ends with the survivors either escaping via roof helicopter or going through the foyer and out to the police. My group escaped via foyer as they realised the building was on fire and opted for more zombies and probable freindly fire from the cops than roasting to death on the top of a building. From there I had to make it up. They ended up being put into trucks (after passing an inspection, one guy was dragged off by CEDA never to be seen again) and then moved out to a country church which had been converted into a shelter camp. The military was training up survivors who were fit and healthy to go on search missions for survivors,food, guns etc. This went on for a while and quite a few soldiers died at the hands of civilian incopetance (had a small outbreak inside the compound because a few survivors kept there wounds secret. Let's just say teh situation melted down pretty fast and the Leutenant was starting to go a little crazy. Ended up with the Infected Toxin cloud from the Gentec explosion rolling over the camp converting everyone (except the soldiers who had masks) into zombies. The group who just happended to be immune but didnt know it yet, stole a truck and fucked off. Ended up finding the Gentec building, traversed its many corridors and found out the truth behind the outbreak. Ended up with 3 remaining survivors fighting over the last vial of cure, killing one and then realised the vial had been smashed during the punch up. bad end.

Rouge Trader Campaign:
PC's were conscripted by the Inquisition to purge a colony planet overrun by chaos cultists , on the premise that the RT Dynasty could have it when they were done
PC's are fighting through the fortress-castle where the majority of the cultists are along side a regiment of IG, the inquisitor that conscripted them, and twenty Sisters of Battle, having failed to bombard the place from orbit due to heavy shielding.
At the end of the purge, before going to the final room were the boss was, the entire party strips the castle of everything not nailed down and loads it on the ship, including the shield generators.
One PC goes into the final room with the Inquisitor and SoB, the rest get on the ship and leave a single transport.
Final cultist summons a massive daemon, PC takes one look, bolts for the transport, and calls down a bombardment.

Final Result: Daemon, Inquisitor, and SoB are vaporized. IG is mostly dead, the rest are jettisoned from the air lock. Rouge Trader sends a report to the =I= detailing how bravely everyone fought, and how much the dead would be missed.

~my PC's are dicks

>>11605309

Interesting parting thought.

>>11611391
And risk having the Inquisitor deciding to kill the Rogue Trader for coming in contact with all that Daemon?

The boy made the right choice.

>lv1 party with my 2 8-yo-bros
>lv3 dragon almost dead
>dwarf barbarian rolls to hit it, crit fails, axe stuck in dirt
>action point to hit dragon with fist
>roll 20 for 16 fist damage
>you punch the wyrmling in the face and kill it

>>11581445
>rouge
Get out.

>PCs are cooperating with mysterious traveler to track down a jungle witch and some criminals she may be harboring
>they get to the witch before their helper, get trounced by supernatural powers (the first ones they've ever seen), criminals die in the process, mission technically failed
>party badass decides if a frail woman can have those kinds of powers, so can he
>formulates a plan to switch over to the witch's side despite their previous helper now standing in the way and apparently having some of those powers too
>plan (involving dummy decoys, poisoned knives and a co-conspirator in a prearranged hiding place) is only a marginal success
>plan b: defeat the inhumanly skilled superpowered swordsman with using small rocks, dirt and one last throwing knife
>winner: PC

>>11600332
>For one thing, the whole corruption system is more suited for CoC-type games and the like, where things are gritty and morality is gray. On the other hand, that whole trance thing is just completely the opposite, more in line with an exalted-like game where PCs brim with awesomeness and such. Putting them together is just really weird.

Yes, and the battle that determined the fate of the world was fought between a man with maximum corruption and a man with maximum trance.

It's very elegant. All the more so since it was unplanned.

Hmm this is autosaging now right? Well, since suptg is down i propose we use the 4chanarchives so then it can be put on suptg at a later date. Or at least, I hope someone saved this in html.

> playing Blue Box, Expert Set D&D (yes, the real deal)
> large group of lowish-level PCs facing a vampire
> all PCs down (including the clerics with raise dead spells) but for a lone, level 2 fighter
> lone PC has no magical weapons nor stakes (vampire destroyed them)
> vampire closes in actually licking his theet
> PC breaks an arrow's tip and FUCKING STAKES HIM WITH THE SHAFT
> natural 20
> myface.jpg

>>11617438

Bad. Ass.

>>11578130
Good to see players getting in the spirit of the kindred. "This is a problem for human." "Ace! I'm not human any more!"

Never stop bumping.

>Star wars campaign- PC's are hunting down operations by a crime lord.
>The party Noble steals a limo-speeder with no weapons
>Party piles into limo and races to the warehouse where the crime boss's main operation is.
>Two guards attack party.
>Noble rolls low thirties on each sequential drive check, rams both guards against the wall, killing them.
>Noble backs up, fishtails the limo, and slams it through a transparasteel wall into the warehouse, killing two more guards.
>Super Battle Druiid ensconed in the trunk deploys, opens fire, mowing down two more guards.
>Noble reverses the limo, races to ram guard leader.
>Guard leader takes a single shot with his blaster pistol, nat twenties, THUNK, anti-grav shorts out, car crashes, players have to roll acro to get out unharmed.
>Noble rolls motherfucking natural twenty on his acro, draws a bead, and blows the guard captain's motherfrucking brains out with his sniper rifle in one hit.

So yeah. Oh, and we got about forty six natural twenties that session- both the players and the GM. Good NPCs and bad.

>Mage the Ascension game, 2E
>Mixed trad party fighting technos.
>Fireball mage downs the only enemy with the time sphere.
>Party's TIME NINJA becomes the motherfucking flash. Accrues about eight paradox, but goes up to twelve extra actions a turn.
>Procedes to dominate rest of encounter
>Myface.jpg

>>11623644
Mage: Broken and Loving It.

What the fuck... this thread is still here?

Anyway... more from our game:

>party is attacked by wind-controlling supervillain and his heavily armored bodyguards
>villain does what he came to do, then tries to make his getaway on a flying carpet
>one of the PCs races after them, leaps onto the carpet and tears it to shreds with two large knives
>villain trollfaces, since it wasn't the carpet that was making him fly, but his powers making the carpet fly
>PC and expendable bodyguards plummet to the ground while villain slowly floats down
>PC survives the fall (just as he expected) and picks up one of the heavily armored bodyguards, charges villain with his new improvised weapon/shield
>PC holds his own against the guy until the rest of the party catches up, forcing villain to retreat alone and without his bodyguards or magical doodad

(mind you, this was in GURPS where most of those stunts are a bit more difficult to do than your average superhero game)

>>11615388
Doesn't autosage till 300 posts.