How many dicks have you sucked?

rolled 67 = 67

How did you get the job?

What made you decide to become a valet?

>>11545615
>>11545620

He sucked 37 dicks.

>Gaetano 65.

Zelda timeline, what is the correct order?

What's it like taking care of rich people's stuff knowing they see you as scum and that you will never have their stuff?

>>11545620
I had worked hotels for a time and decided that a proper schooling in service would further my goals. I therefore went off to a school that taught such enterprising young people these skills. Also, joining the Butler's Guild does wonders for one's own resume.

rolled 75 = 75

>>11545628
THIRTY SEVEN DICKS?

rolled 28 = 28

>>11545641
Butlers Guild? My goodness, unless it's against your code, would you please expand on this?

>>11545641
How long did you train before going into proper service, as it were?

>>11545625
It seems the best thing I was suited for, sir.

>>11545634
It is the same as being any passerby in their eyes, you are invisible until needed. Or unless they feel you have wronged them.

>>11545652
The international Guild of Professional Butlers is the organization in question. It is not secret but secrets are held by their members. Discretion is naturally part of employment.

>>11545655
Training through a school was only part of it, as it were. One must be of service to a variety of tasks and positions before they can climb up the social ladder. I started my professional valet career at a four star hotel, working toward a five before working international resorts as the major-dormo. From there I met clientele and networked enough through the guild to find a family to care for, which has worked out quite well.

>>11545645

in a row?

Do certain posts require special knowledge, like animal care, medical knowledge or extensive firearms experience?

>>11545645
In a row?

So... yeah, what exactly is a "gentleman's personal gentleman"?
Yes, thanks to 4chan, I can't get the idea of an ass slave with proper etiquette and a monocle and top hat out of my head.

>>11545689
Certain posts do in fact have preferences for the nature of duties one must carry out. For example, some prefer their head of household to be a bodyguard in addition to providing service. Elderly clients may want a qualified Nurse in case of emergency, though as to answer animal care I cannot elaborate. I have never seen that task come up.

>>11545694
go to the tg archive and search MaidQuest?

>1982 panderers
some sort of musical movement

>>11545694
A gentleman's personal Gentlemen is a Valet, A major-dormo, a Butler. Good examples would be jeeves from the Wodenhouse series of books or Batman's own Alfred.

>>11545604
Double checking a connection made last night: IIRC you have a PMC friend. Would he by chance be the fine fellow who came on last night asking for advice on how to ward off impressionable youth who wouldn't give him a quiet moment in the FLGS?

rolled 2 = 2

>>11545686
Naturally. I was just wondering at the structure within, and what opportunities you have seen, or benefited from in it's conglomeration. Remember, this is /tg/, if I want a reoccurring butler character, this sounds like a means to provide backstory!

>>11545716
I do have a friend who was employed in a dreadful overseas venture for a time, professionally speaking I do not pretend to know the details of his life. But yes, he is a close friend of mine. I was on here once before, but I generally tend to lurk. My resurgence is merely out of boredom.

>>11545724
Fair enough. Given the timing I wasn't sure if he may have confided his annoyance at the locals in you before/around the time of asking /tg/ for help.

>>11545720
The guild is an amazing resource for young and old, tremendous resources are put into finding a proper place for every task suitable for private employment. The closed circles of friends who have worked, or schooled together in the past often have the best stories and breaking into said circles is the finest way to gain networking opportunities. Interesting employment opportunities often do come up, but some you must turn down due to cultural, language or even societal boundaries.

rolled 43 = 43

>>11545744
A good ol' boys club if it were?

How far reaching is it as of now, if you are able to tell/know?

>>11545741
I am indeed surprised he came here at all, sir. He is troubled enough, in ways I cannot imagine. I do recall him having been bothered to provide advice to 'shit heels' as he called them but I had assumed it was for entertainment purposes, a chance run in at a bar or perhaps being a consultant for cinema.

>>11545744
Would you recommend any of the education services related to the valet service to persons seeking other careers? I'm a food scientist in training and have several other prospects cropping up but any opportunity to expand my horizons would be most welcome.

Is physical fitness or, as it were, sound health and resilience necessary as a valet?

>her mitsui
people are reading some weird ebooks

>>11545753
They are quite well established. Every five star hotel, every major corporation and almost every multi-million dollar household will contain a member of the guild. We are, plainly, those that serve those in power and as such we hear quite a lot. Of course it would be improper to suggest that any of us would ever do anything with said knowledge, but casually reminding employers of the Guild's existence is surely enough to ward off any malfeasance.

rolled 87 = 87

>>11545777
Again, I'm not prying into anything personal, just trying to draw a map of how extensive a standing guild can be on a earth-based map. But that does bring up how some mechanics work. How about recruitment?

We have reached consensus and wish to observe the ways of the "gentleman"

>>11545762
Absolutely, sir. In the cut throat service business it is often best to have much education to fall back upon in case of competition for employment. Going to a proper butler school is expensive but it usually comes with a lifetime membership in the guild, which finds people work at their level of experience.

>>11545776
Being that you are on your feet, and swiftly answering any call for service, running errands, looking your best and never missing a day in an average 80 hour week; being in good health is a good investment. 12-16 hour shifts can be trying, but the rewards are well worth it. As well, good shoes make all the difference. Perhaps if you'd like I could tell the anecdote concerning my friend making stealth shoes for me, oh how fun that made Christmas.

>>11545792
Recruitment is largely voluntary, sir. We serve anywhere called. From Dubai to Zeist, from London to New York, Los Angeles to Hong Kong.

>>11545810
Do tell about the stealth shoes, I enjoy simple tricks of that sort.

>>11545829
Well, I had recently purchased some hand made shoes and needed to break them in properly. They, unfortunately made an audible click upon contact with the wooden floors of my household and everyone heard me coming. Sometimes, it does one well to suddenly appear so that the other servants know you could be anywhere, watching, supervising, and judging. I mentioned this to my friend and he fastened felt to the bottoms of my shoes, and for a time I made not a sound going across the floor. My employer was startled when I began to randomly show up, silently.

I just looked into the International Butler Academy and I'm actually rather surprised as to the time and cost. 12.5k Euros for an eight week course, all expense paid. Given my likely career path, that is neither an unreasonable cost nor time investment for the potential gains. Thank you, Valet Anon, you may have recruited a new member for your guild.

>snobbiest Maurice

>>11545810
Is it bad that I imagine you speaking in King's English? Surely, there are butlers in other countries, after all...

And, I would be quite interested in this tale of yours.

rolled 33 = 33

>>11545855
Any tricks on making a subtle, silent, or sudden appearance?

>>11545855
Have you read "The Remains of the Day" by Kazuo Ishiguro? Do you identify with the main character in any way?

Also, I demand you show us your gentlemanly and learned vernacular with an inordinately large sentence which has as many large words as you can rape into it, while maintaining grammatical correctness.

When does a valet get break hours? Or is it an activity that could be taken just by taking advantage of a moment?

>>11545870
Glad to be of service, sir. At the current exchange rate, it is extremely affordable due to the troubles in Spain and Greece of recent.

As well, if you behave long enough and earn your stripes as it were, you could be inducted into the order of the silver keys

This is too unexpected an opportunity for me to adequately capitalise on!

Basically, I'm making a supplement to a homebrewed Pen & Paper roguelike game (Lady Luck's Door) which deals with a somewhat stereotypical depiction of Gentlemen and their Butlers going through a dungeon killing monsters, as seen through a fantasy lens, complete with Tea Alchemy and exploits that reward the Gentleman for wearing top hats and monocles.
I guess my first question would be: If you were in such a situation, what abilities would you desire?

>>11545855
I now feel very justified in making a certain feat for the homebrew I've been working on.

I am Very Sneaky Sir: A butler with this feat may move an infinite distance as long as he remains out of line of sight.

>>11545891
HA! Why do we always seem to post so close to one another?

>>11545882
>>11545884
>>11545886
>>11545891
>>11545897

Posting at 22:33 /tg/ time mind.

human slave to have food waiting sounds great

you like sleeping on the floor, valet-anon?

Butlers are not the same as valets, you guys.

>>11545926
Shoo, we're actually having an interesting discussion here.

>>11545944
servant waiting at bedside with breakfast is interesting to me too, anon

>>11545874
I am English, but I can feign a Midwestern American accent if called upon. I had an employer in Missouri who abhored my natural dialect and intonation as being entirely too 'hoity toity'

>>11545880
Many households maintain hidden passages for the wait staff, particularly old Victorian Mansions. Often enough the employer does not know their existence and you may walk through walls as it were. Other keys are having good shoes, making certain the floors are well kept and floorboards not loose. In addition, shadow your employer and be just out of sight until called. It frightens some but it shows you are the man on point, as it were.


>>11545882
I have not read such a book sir, I must regret. And, well. Let's see.

My proper way of waking someone up is (stolen entirely of course from Wodenhouse's own Jeeves):
-Discreet cough - It appears to be morning. Very inconvenient, I agree. I believe it is the rotation of the Earth that is to blame, Sir. The world has been very anxious to hear from you for the last eight hours. Shall I inform the news agencies you're about to rise, Sir?


>>11545884
Any moment you can take is yours, do not be seen taking breaks. Breaks are not forbidden but they are not granted either. You are at service, not a friend. As such an employer does not say ever "go get something to eat" or "have you taken a break?" It is implied you are self sufficient to do so on your own time and appear to never be 'out of the loop'

>>11545937
From Wikipedia:
"Professional butler and author Steven M. Ferry states that the image of tray-wielding butlers who specialise in serving tables and decanting wine is now anachronistic, and that employers may well be more interested in a butler who is capable of managing a full array of household affairs—from providing the traditional dinner service, to acting as valet, to managing high-tech systems and multiple homes with complexes of staff. Whilst in truly grand houses the modern butler may still function exclusively as a top-ranked household affairs manager,[19] in lesser homes, such as those of dual-income middle-class professionals,"

>>11545971
Fair enough but you don't have to ask the stupid, "Do you mind sleeping on the floor" questions that only pertain to your unnecessary persona.

Abilities for a butler to have? My my. Hm. The ability to draw from one's top hat (if one were allowed, as hats indoors are quite poor etiquette) any number of items suited to the situation. A hat of holding, as it were.

>>11545977
>I am English, but I can feign a Midwestern American accent if called upon.
BUT...BUT...
THAT'S WHY YOU GET A BRITISH BUTLER

IT MAKES YOU "AUTHENTIC"
I WOULD PAY EXTRA FOR THAT ACCENT (had I the funds and inclining to pay for a butler)

rolled 15 = 15

>>11545977
Do you have a particular voice or style that you call upon when attending to a employer, or do you simply come, "as is"?

>>11546011
To adapt to an employer's wishes is an intelligent decision. Some prefer you not to speak until spoken to, others want to engage in witty banter or conversation around the dinner table. Some forget you exist completely, which suits me fine as well.

>>11545991
not like I'd let human-slave sleep in my bed, anon

Is cooking and nutrition a concern for a household valet, perhaps for the more athletic (or maybe sick) patrons?

>>11546033
You seem to misunderstand the concept of a servant, we are far beyond the day and age of slaves and to call a professional such as our OP one is merely another way to disappoint your father.

>>11546039
I do not cook often, I supervise a waitstaff and an executive chef. However, if drawn upon to cook, it is customary to present a menu selection days in advance to cater to any needs, ask questions, get clarifications and then perhaps deal accordingly with said wishes, consulting a dietitian if necessary.

>>11546052
I prefer to think of myself as being 'in service'. If they insult your dignity. Leave. If enough leave said employer's services, the guild effectively cuts them off from their staff. Then they must hire housekeepers and other such staff locally, that they will likely drive off as well.

>>11546052
I'd treat valet-anon well, anon

visiting packmates might trash up place to watch our pet-human run around cleaning though

>>11546003

I have a Gentleman Exploit that does that, but not a Butler Talent:

Rabbit Trick (3 WF): Your Top Hat can store a number of Tiny objects or creatures equal to your Presto. Prerequisite: Abracadabra, A Top Hat.

For some reason I let Gentlemen have the ability to become stage magicians. Most probably because of the top hats and waistcoats.

Would a similar ability based on a waistcoat or other vestment be an adequate replacement?

rolled 96 = 96

>>11546028
Hmm...Not to border on preference and personal opinion, which I stated I wouldn't do, but do you prefer to live separated, in the premise of, or under the same roof of a client?

>>11546085
Do you have any job backgrounds that would require specific clothing? I'm thinking detective in the twenties, game hunter, book collector...

>>11546093
Preference often does not come into the situation, you live as they provide at their expense, naturally. I prefer to live apart, else wise I may get a request at 3 in the morning for something absurd.
>>11546085
Such would be suitable. A good Butler always has a swift trick up his sleeve.

Ever had to be in service for someone young, as a child or teenager?

>strongbox location
...

>>11546280
No, Nor would I accept such a post. Rich Children need to be tutored or jailed, generally.

rolled 36 = 36

Alright, I'm done for now! Thank you very much for your time, and consider yourself invited to any campaign I run in the future, you've been most generous thus far.

>>11546326
it has been a pleasure, good sir.

>>11546302
>Rich Children need to be tutored or jailed, generally.
I like you.
I like you a lot.

>>11546332
I am not allowed to whip them, their parents certainly wont, and a taser leaves marks.

>>11546302
>tutored or jailed, generally.

So it happens with certain recurrence? I assume there must be someone in the staff to care for them at least, so would they get chewed out for what the child ends up doing?

>>11546125

Thank you for your approval. I would press you for more ideas, but reading your answers to the enquiries of others is providing a bounty of inspiration.
~
As an aside, partially to fulfil the request of >>11545882 and partially to advertise my project:

Character Creation:
A Gentleman has four fundamental qualities: Acuity, Dapper, Canniness and Salubrity. Unless otherwise stated, all qualities embark from 2. Any quality may be bettered for a Worldliness Fleck investment equal to its new standing. For example, bettering Dapper from a value of 3 to 4 would invest 4 Worldliness Flecks. A Gentleman's Salubrity embarks from 4 and invests twice its new standing in Flecks per betterment. Acumen checks add the character's Acuity to the roll, unless otherwise stated. Dapper is a prerequisite for several pieces of Apparel and important during negotiation. Canniness affects some prestidigitation, the quality of your Butler and can aid financial negotiations.
Although otherwise like normal qualities, the qualities of Presto and Fealty can only be acquired by attaining exploits.

>>11546356
Generally these persons have a higher than average turn-over rate. Often enough children are sent off to a boarding school and return only around christmas.

I do often fantasize about locking them in sheds, though.

>>11546409
EVERYONE ALWAYS SUSPECTS THE BUTLER

But he always gets away or didn't even commit the crime in the first place. So I think you're good there.

>>11546400
I have opened a new thread on the subject, if our wonderful OP would be so inclined as to give further advice. >>11546234

Do you acquire your increase in vocabulary during your schooling, on the job or is it a prerequisite?

>>11546565
good schooling goes quite far.

Is self-defense a common skill for butlers? Combat butlers is a reasonably common trope and I was wondering how much truth there was behind that.

>>11546665
Common? No. A good skill to have? Yes.

There is a school in America known as ESI I believe that trains people to be detectives, butlers, investigators, combat so and so, they're a diploma factory as far as I hear and thus people who claim to be a butler and a combatant for hire are generally a person who has waited tables and read a few comic books.

A good bodyguard/valet is usually former SAS, as far as I have seen in the guild.

>>11546794
I assume that proper American-born butlers are relatively rare?

>>11546639
Why does a butler need good schooling though? Is it just a filter so that the super-rich never have to deal with someone more than one economic or social class below them?

Also, do you find things like belong to a formal guild and affecting a mannered way of speaking help cope with the essentially demeaning nature of the work?

>>11546824
Good American butlers, yes. American butlers, no. I am sorry but a degree in communications is not enough to prepare you for this level of employment. It is too entirely common, sadly.

>>11546928
It can, because it is expected.

>>11546928
Not OP but I imagine it's a rather competitive field for the uppermost positions, greater schooling and greater intelligence serve well in a profession where one is expected to do many things.

>>11547051
Entirely Correct, sir.

You mentioned the Order of the Silver Keys, what is that?

>>11547131

What's the standard sort of contract for a butler's services? I imagine there'd be any amount of leeway and negotiation depending on what the household wants, but is there a standard sort of template, or templates, for what hours you work and serivces you perform?

Also, is there a general set of rules of rights and responsibilities of a bulter, or does that usually fall under a combination of the letter of the contract and unspoken gentleman's agreements?

What job title do you prefer?

>>11547149
Go into a five star hotel, and you will likely see a majordormo behind his podium with a silver key lapel. The Order of the silver keys is the inner circle of international butlers, the finest of the finest. The best of the best. It is often said that they will not even consider you for induction until you have served for over 40 years, and as such they are very exclusive.

Best people in service on the planet. You could ask one if he could find someone staying in some hotel in a city, for instance. Give him a rough description. In 20 minutes he has made calls and knows precisely their location. Immense power behind closed doors, you see.

>>11547352

I gotta ask: are you pulling my leg? It seems pretty unbelievable.

What do the best butlers command as far as salary goes?

What is the thing you are most proud of doing on the job?

What is the most interesting thing you've done?

>11547352
Okay, I could let the first two pass, but that's the third time.

Say it with me.

MAJORDOMO
ONE R
MAY
JOR
DOH
MOE

Fucking plebian.

>>11547395
It is true, but not publicized. Membership is small but very real. My remuneration is ample. Proud of? I told a mayor politely to fuck off for getting drunk and accosting me. It made the paper.

Most interesting? Oh, I once catered to a dinner that served over a million dollars in scotch alone.

>>11547352
Personally, I have no desire to actually serve as a butler and so the Order of the Silver Key is not for me. I was more considering the training as an addition to my education and a way to make useful contacts.

>>11547051
I prefer my explanation. After all, you don't pay for a five-star hotel so you can be served by someone with a working-class accent.

Nothing against OP, I just have a vendetta against the service industry and the idea of a service culture. I've worked in fine dining; this shit exists to stroke the egos of people with too much money and it's really bad for society.

>>11547435
>Oh, I once catered to a dinner that served over a million dollars in scotch alone.
>million dollars worth of scotch
WHAT

>>11547413
Ten thousand pardons good sir. I am corrected. Shamed. Surely though you have better things to do? Run your estate, sort your scotch? Drive to the countryside in your no doubt expensive luxury coupe?

Do forgive the impoliteness but you sir, may feast on penis.

And on that note gentlemen, I believe I shall retire for the evening. Do sleep well.

>>11547476
....I've never seen a classier insult.

Color me impressed, Anon.

These may have come up in the previous thread, but I did not get the chance to read it.

1. - 80 hour work week, as well as living in some high end areas, are you a traditonal gamers as well or did you just think that this would be the board to give a favourable response.
1a If you are a gamer, how do you find time? I work 60 hours a week myself and I have a hard time keeping games going. (mind you I do work shift work.)

2. Are there any books or memoirs about being a valet you would suggest?

>>11547476
Cool, so, you can do a good impression of Jeeves-speak for the Americans. Congrats, you're a clown.

>>11547476
I'm overcome with sorrow at your hurtful barb.

I'll just go empty the contents of my veins into my bathroom sink now, for fear of once more insulting your painful, and quite forced I must say, grasp of the english language.

>>11547508

Damn it just missed him

>>11547494

>>11547494
Good evening and good night, OP. Your thread has once again served to educate and amuse.

>>11547472

You seem surprised at how much a good scotch can cost.

Seriously, go to any decent wine cellar. Not a bottle shop, a place that actually buys and stores wines and spirits. The bottles of scotch they have out in the open on the shelves will be worth hundreds and sometimes over a thousand dollars. The bottles they have behind the glass are usually worth in the low thousands. The bottles they don't display but keep locked in the cellar will be worth even more. And this is a wine cellar, not even a specialised spirits merchant. The very rarest spirits make the very rarest wines seem like goon in price comparison.

If you ever do find a spirits merchant, and their stores are damned hard to find since they are usually very subtle, you can see bottles of spirits that cost more than a decent second-hand car. There are even more expensive ones out there, but they never have them in stock. You just tell the owner what you want and they'll ask you to come back in a month or two when they've found it and negotiated a potential price for it.

>>11547508
For the book, there's actually one cited on Wikipedia near where I pulled the quote from. That would probably be a good starting place.
>>11545982

How much would a high-class valet be paid?

>>11547528
Be sure to discharge the arteries as well, as I suspect you would detest being accused of leaving a job half-finished.

>>11547594
i would assume that if that price is a concern, it would likely be outside of your* price range.

remember that it is a fairly skilled trade with a great deal of experience required behind it along with a certain innate skill.

*using a generic 'you' here, not trying to call any anon a poorfag, etc.

>>11547700
I think Anon was asking more in terms of being tempted to join the service himself.

>>11547594

It's a skilled profession, but more importantly, it's a particularly demanding profession with very long hours and unique requirements. The wages start in the mid-to-high range of general wages, but get extremely high as you progress upwards. Discretion is what the best butlers are generally paid for, and that always comes at a notorious premium.

I think it's something in the realm of $60,000 yearly equivalent for a decent and accredited butler to work a basic day, without any special requirements like having to answer calls outside of his hours. Keep in mind a basic day is something like twelve hours or so. I think most contracts also include all living expenses covered as a rule, either as live-in or off-site.

A very good butler working in the right household could probably earn enough that their income actually becomes irrelevant, seeing as they only really have to pay for luxuries. There's also the unspoken agreement that a butler in lifetime service will also earn a small percentage of the estate, or in the case of massive estates, a considerable fixed fee, on the death of their employer. That's become much less common in the last few decades, though.

So... should this get archived? Did the last one get archived.

>>11548555
The last one was just a few questions in a facefag thread. Feel free to archive it, worst case is it gets voted down and baleeted.

Last time, Valet Anon said he makes ~$120,000, if I recall.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/11545604/

Thread archived. I hope they keep it, seems like such a waste.