>vader
>children

lmfao nerf herder.

Everyone knows hes just a robot built by the emperor

>>10982509

Someone hasnt seen the leaked holofootage of his horribly scarred head.

I am so sick of conspiracy theorists spamming the boards, next they are going to tell us that Vader is some sort of magician who kills his own soldiers using archaic evil powers.

fucking JEDIS DID DS! Palpatine was right to kill them, that's why I joined the Peace Brigade.

>>10982587

underage detected.

>>10982473
You're right, but most people just don't want to hear this stuff. It's a lot more comfortable to believe a bunch of terrorist insurgents blew up the symbol of your empire's strength than the accept that your own leadership would do such a thing.

>>10982509
this.

and before anyone starts spouting that 'force' bullshit, vader obviously has an imperial prototype micro tractor beam array installed. that's how it can pick up stuff and choke people.

>>10982473
5. Hours prior to the destruction of the Death Star, an unknown freighter was taken aboard. Survivor's accounts say that it was brought in with a tractor beam. Stormtrooper infantrymen specialized in port security swept the entire vessel repeatedly and found no signs of life. The first shift was relieved by an unknown second shift. Over the course of fifteen minutes, the detention block suffered a catastrophic security breach, carried out by two to four unidentified men in Stormtrooper uniforms. During this time, no senior officers were watching the vessel. Was this security breach orchestrated so that the final parts of the device could be unloaded?

>>10982473

>>10982473
You fucking make me sick. My brother was stationed on the Death Star when those fucking terrorist rebels attacked. And you're trying to say they're innocent?

MY BROTHER'S BLOOD IS ON THEIR HANDS!

And I'll be joining up next cycle to make sure those filthy terrorists get what's coming to them. I've heard from my dad that there's plans in the works for another orbital station, maybe I'll apply for a position there.

We also know that the Empire KNEW about the engineering flaw long before the destruction of the Death Star.

Then we're to believe that two droids, completely unguided by any organic lifeforms managed to evade capture against a full Star Destroyer of troops, and link up with rebels.

Wake up sheeple!

6. On 9/10/0BBY, a Correlian corvette freighter flying a diplomatic flag was intercepted over Tatooine after a brief scuffle. Representatives from Alderaan, including Leia Organa, were on board. Some were shuttled over to the Death Star, and reportedly even saw their homeworld destroyed. What is going on here? Did Organa sell out her homeworld just so that Vader and Palpatine could be certain that their explosives would do the trick?

I'm telling you man, The Emperor and Mon Mothma are in cahoots, there's no way she could survive this long without inside help.

>>10982695
Two droids on a DESERT PLANET, which is KNOWN to be harsh to machines. In fact, Lieutenant Tagrog of the 478th Stormtrooper Legion SPECIFICALLY recalled tracking the droids by a sparse trail of parts in the desert that eventually showed them to have been taken by hostile Jawas. A firefight ensued near a moisture farmer's residence, and the men of the 478th were forced to neutralize both the Jawas and the farmer.

So, what we have is an unbelievable scenario; what was really in that escape pod? Lt. Tagrog never found the droids at the scene. Who go there first? Was the pod some kind of "go signal?"

>>10982796
So you're telling me that some welfare queen dropout who just made it through the cadre on Carida is the first and last word on droid mechanics and desert tracking? Tagrog was from CORELLIA for fuck's sake! He grew up in a TEMPERATE climate and Sandtrooper was NOT his specialty, but he was stop-lossed into it.

How long dose it take to search one swamp for a f%$&ing jedi

dey never caught Yoda dey never caught Obiwan and the empire iz never gona catch mothma

>>10983017
spoiler: jedi aren't real, they're made up so the Empire can claim to fight something every few years.

Did anyone notice the street closures when Vader visited Cloud City? Civilians never even saw the guy. Hell, I'm a journalist and I wasn't allowed within a hundred miles of the place, press pass be damned. The only droid that had a record of his presence was found blasted to pieces after a firefight between the Imperial Stormtroopers and an "unknown rebel group." Yeah, sounds very likely. Not to mention there were representatives of Jabba's bounty hunters in the area, and Vader was seen handing over a huge block of carbonite into their possession. How deep does this thing go?

The Death Star and Rebellion are just distracting you. They spoon out the crap and you eat it up.

It's the Toydarians that are shitting up the whole galaxy, wheedling scum.

Holovisual evidence and recordings from Rebel Headquarters at the time of the attack indicate that Luke Skywalker DEACTIVATED his targetting computer shortly before firing his proton torpedoes.

Proton torpedoes are guided by their targetting system.

They are not guided by anything else.

In order to hit the supposed "weak spot" on the Death Star from the position Luke's X-Wing was flying at, we would have to have the torpedoes make a right turn directly over the entry to the port. THIS IS WHAT IS ACTUALLY SHOWN IN THE HOLOVID FILM; PROTON TORPEDOES SUPPOSEDLY WITH --NO-- GUIDANCE SYSTEM MAKING A 90-DEGREE TURN INTO THE EXHAUST VENT.

Yet the computer targetting system that would have told the torpedoes to turn? WASN'T EVEN ON.

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

>>10983152
Go back to stormfront with that shit, dude. All the Toydarians want to do is live in peace. Yes, the Corporate Sector is war-torn and has a lot of racial hatred, but it's getting better, and the last thing that needs to happen is a bunch of keyboard warriors on Coruscant talking about this race or that race.

>>10983246
>All the Toydarians want to do is live in peace.
Tell that to the noble Tuskens whose ancestral homeland they've stolen.

in the EU, the engineer was forced to design it against her will. so she included the flaw with the intentions of giving it to the rebels

>>10983397
EU is utter shit though.

>>10983094

dood watch empire news k

This goes way further back, and far deeper, than any of you peons realise. Naboo is behind it ALL. Emperor? From Naboo. Skywalker? Mother was the QUEEN of Naboo at one point.

Hell, even the Imperial National Anthem is a reworking of a Naboo victory march. Just listen:
Imperial Anthem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VwkyrTb6go
Naboo Victory March: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHJBiYvyzWg

Wake up

I've run the simulations. There's no way that X-Wing was responsible for the destruction of the Death Star.

>>10983423
Holy shit. That means...the Empire was never independent. It was just the old Republic/Trade Federation with a new name.

>>10983365
Actually, the ones who stole the Tusken homeland were humans.

Or, if you want to be even more technical, it was the Rakata, when they glassed Tatooine from orbit as a punishment for rebellion and turned what had been a fertile world of jungles and seas into a near-lifeless desert hellscape.

>>10983365

>noble
>tuskens

I don't think the Death Star ever exploded. In fact, I don't think it ever existed. I think that the Empire made the whole thing up as an excuse to dissolve the Senate and consolidate power in the hands of the planetary governors.

I mean, even the alleged footage of the explosions is inconsistent. In the original footage, recorded in AY0, the supposed detonation of the Death Star shows only a single expanding debris and fire cloud. However, in the more modern version of the footage, the explosion is preceded by a vertical annular shock wave.

Why the inconsistency? It only makes sense if the explosion were somehow faked, and then later redone to be much more convincing.

>>10983456
>He thinks the Rakata actually existed!
>LaughingTwilekgirls.jpg

>>10983519
Look, just because they're no longer Force-sensitive, reduced to barbarism, and trapped on a shithole planet doesn't mean they didn't used to be awesome.

>>10983485
Seriously, compare the original explosion footage:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmRfj2dF7gM&feature=related at 3:40

To the version most often seen nowadays

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7hn3XImO0U

Why the inconsistency?

>>10983246

Let me guess, you sit in your upper-middle class Correllian home sipping your Venti Hotcaf while listening to RePublic Radio.

The only alien you've ever seen with your own eyes is a Selonian and come on, their the least bad of the bunch. Try having a conversation with a Gungan sometime.

>>10983164
that shit was clearly faked.

A missile, turning at 90 degrees? What kind of degenerate would believe such a thing?

What do they take us for?

>>10983164
You're so wrong. the MG7-A has a small, but effective guidance system, and a CEP of less than 3 meters. That thermal exhaust port was the biggest energy signature for 12 parsecs. You could have dropped a fucking MG7-A out of a Cloakshape and it would have destroyed the DS.

Seriously, the Imps got all butthurt because all the corporatist buttgrabbing and corner cutting destroyed the centerpiece of Tarkin's plans, and the Ubiqtorate has been planting these conspiracy theories as disinfo.

>>10983485
Neither of those recordings make any sense. The damn thing evaporates--there's hardly any debris anywhere.

And that only makes any sense if both recordings were of a mockup "exploding"--a mockup made of fragile materials, designed to leave as little trace as possible, so that no one could come back and verify the cause of its destruction.

And frankly, no offense to relatives of those lost on the Death Star, but I wouldn't put it past certain members of the Imperial government to kill a few thousand of their own men to keep this farce quiet. Or move them onto a covert position, and report them as dead.

>>10983569
I'm station on Calamaria. Mon Cal's and Quarren aren't that bad--a bit hard to talk to, but they've got some brains, at least. Unlike Gungans.

>>10983612

Let me guess, you think Kessel is full of slave mines and political prisoners, right?

LOL

repubtards are so gullible.

>>10983612
That's what I mean: I don't think there ever WAS a Death Star.

I mean, think about the amount of money that it took to (allegedly) build this thing. We're talking about the entire GDP of entire star systems rerouted to build a supposed super-weapon. And yet nobody thinks to ask where that money REALLY went.

I'll tell you this: it didn't go towards making a cheap mockup to blow up and blame the "State of Emergency" on.

>>10983643
Nope. Frankly, I think Kessel is full of crap. But that's just me.

And what's so pro-Republic about expecting our leaders to know a good trick when they think of one, and use it? No one ever said Palpatine was dumb.

>>10983014
Corellia has deserts.

>>10983703

I've had the misfortune of winding up on Tatooine and I assure you that they don't even compare.

>>>this thread

>>10983640
Am I the only one who thinks that Mon Cal accents are soothing?

/derail.

>>10983599
>It's impossible, even for a computer!
--Wedge Antilles, expert pilot and fighter ace

>>10983756
They're nice, but they can get kinda obscure at times. Especially when you're in the drive-in lane at the SushiBurger.

>>10983692
Follow the money; where does it go?

That's right: spice.

It's not the Hutt "crime lord syndicates" running the substance. It's our own dear Moffs.

I'm glad the Empire is gone. The prejudice on us Twi'lek girls was too harsh.

THE DEATH STAR WAS REALLY BUILD TO KILL ALIENS WITH LIVING PLANET SPACESHIPS FROM THE NEXT GALAXY OVER

>>10983738
Yeah, but that poster was wrong. There's a fairly large amount of desert on Corellia. It's not like a Corellian would get to Tattooine and be all like "derp, sand."

That said, I knew a couple guys who were in the same cadre as Tagrog. They transferred up and out. Tagrog, well, they say if you don't get your gold pauldron by the time you're 30, you might as well retire and go work for some Hutt.

>>10983845
oh god, not this shit again.

there is no sentient life outside our galaxy. And if there is, the Outbound Flight project proved that it's impossible to travel between galaxies.

>>10983821
TAILS OR GTFO

>>10983860
this.

Seriously, a bunch of dreadnoughts filled with Jedi and scientists couldn't find a way out of the galaxy; why the fuck would you think that anyone else could find a way IN?

>>10983775
Antilles is has absolutely 0 experience with weapon systems. Janson or Celchu, I'd trust, but Antilles, and it kills to say this about a fellow Corellian, is not the sharpest tool in the shed.

>>10983821
>i'm a twi'lek girl on the internet!

tails or gtfo

>>10983775
Look, asshole, I mustered out of the Chandrillan Navy as a PO-2, and I was an SO. That's Starfighter Ordnancebeing. As in, my fucking job was maintaining and troubleshooting things like, derp, MG7-A proton torpedoes. Trust me, a thermal signature like what would have been coming out of that station, and I could *throw* a fucking MG7 and blow the damn thing.

Thanks for your request.
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>>10983793
>Follow the money; where does it go?
Let's follow the trail of political benefit from the first DS's destruction instead.

Darth Vader is the primary immediate beneficiary. All of his rivals in the military arena went out with the Death Star. His primary controller, Grand Moff Tarkin? Dead. Most of the other Grand Moffs? Dead. The Moff who told Vader off and brought up issues that question Vader's competence? SO. VERY. DEAD.

Secondary beneficiaries?
Princess Leia of Alderaan, sister of Luke Skywalker and daughter of Anakin Skywalker. She went from being a member of the Rebel Alliance working as part of the Senate to being the de facto political figurehead for the Rebellion; remember how they just kept milking that "Alderaan was a peaceful planet! We need JUSTICE!" angle? Yeah. Going from minor influence to major figurehead, definitely increasing the Skywalker share of the Rebellion's political power. And her escape from the Death Star, which was planned by none other than Darth "Skywalker" Vader, and executed by Luke Skywalker.

Then comes Luke Skywalker in third place, becoming a hero to the Rebellion and putting him firmly on the path to being the most influential man in the galaxy should the Empire fall.

So, you have a Skywalker practically running the Imperial military and leading the hunt for two OTHER Skywalkers who now happen to be pretty much the most important people in the Rebel Alliance, both politically and militarily.

All because the Death Star, a facility whose security was entrusted to one Skywalker, was destroyed by another Skywalker after the first Skywalker let a THIRD Skywalker escape with the only security breach that COULD harm said facility. And somehow, magically, this left the first Skywalker as the sole survivor of the facility, the second Skywalker as one of two survivors of the attack on the facility, and the third Skywalker as one of a handful of survivors of the facility's attack on her homeworld.

WE MUST ARCHIVE THIS INFORMATION. DO NOT LET THE SHEEPLE DELUDE US!

>>10984028

So, what you're saying is that amongst other things, there's also people trying to make a Skywalker dynasty? Wouldn't the emperor just flip his shit over that?

This is the most ridiculous shit I've ever heard. Why would they spend that much money just to go and blow it up?

>>10984010
>the Chandrillan Navy
What, did the Alderaanian Hug Patrol tell you you weren't tough enough to join them?

>>10984058

Betrayal is the way of the Sith.

...as is nepotism, apparently.

>>10984028
Vader wasn't the sole survivor by any means. General Tagge (of, yes, those Tagges) and Colonel (later General) Maximilian Veers were both on the Death Star, but left before the Rebel attack force arrived.

Personally, as an Imperial Navy vet, I wouldn't put it past those Army motherfuckers to pull something like this.

>>10984074
Insurance fraud?
Relatives in the construction industry?
Union labor leadership friends?
Pick any one you want.

>>10984094

But come on, if that was really the case the Palpatine would know it, he isn't exactly retarded, you know?

>>10984078
Better than the 501st Holonet Strike Force, asshole. Freedom isn't free. We learned that lesson during the Clone Wars, and have maintained a strong and ready posture ever since.

Yeah, sure people.

Look the Death Star conspiracy is ludicrous and I won't even demolish all of the individual points. That has been done before in publications like Popular Astromechanics.

Do you honestly think the Empire could pull off the proposed Death Star plot and keep it a secret? That's asking an organization that couldn't conjure up the stolen data tapes, or had clairvoyance enough to find the rebels' hidden fortress to work properly.

Next you'll be proposing that the new Death Star is fully armed and operational while only pretending to be under construction. How naive do you think I am? Do I look Bothan to you?

I dont see the problem. At least Vader would do more than sit on his mysterious-robeclad-ass and give power to incompetent Moffs like the Emperor does.

Fucking Tarkin should never have gotten power, Thrawn wouldnt have staked so much on the DS, and all those poor patriots wouldnt have died.

>>10984113

If that isn't the case it means that Vader is either highly incompetent (likely, considering how he throws temper tantrums and kills random officers, or so I've heard) or he's got too many issues to be given the task of taking care of the Skywalker kids.

>>10984113
>"Join me, and we can rule the galaxy as father and son and put an end to this destructive conflict! The Emperor has foreseen it."
--Republic Holovid re-enactment of events on Bespin's Cloud City mining complex
Yeah, no, Vader was practically PUBLIC about his intention to supplant the Emperor and found his own dynasty.

YOU PEOPLE NEED TO SEE THE TRUTH, I LEARNED MAN, I LEARNED, YOU TAKE ENOUGH SPICE AND YOU CAN REALLY SEE THE TRUTH, THERE NEVER WAS AN EMPIRE, OR A GALAXY, WE LIVE IN A FICTIONAL WORLD CREATED BY A STUBBORN FILM MAKER, THEY HAVE ME LOCKED IN THIS INSTITUTION TO HIDE THE TRUTH MAN!

>>10984103

Tagge survived?
hmmm...how convenient.

>>10983569
No. Fuck you NO. I am never talking to those goddamned annoying ass frog people ever again. Fuck Naboo, Fuck their shitty little yellow starfleet, and Fuck you for even reminding me they exist.

>>10984113
Not retarded? You're just a Jedi/Sith apologists. Those batshit religious fanatics think that because they were involved in starting the conflict they should qualify as "leadership" material. Here's a short list of the shortcomings of our dear "Emperor":
- hired a batshit kid out of a burn ward to run his secret police
- had rank-and-file personnel running multiple sections of the Death Star without so much as color-coordinated outfits, which made it all too easy for infiltrators
- state security in encrypted passcodes? Please. Ewoks could get past that radio check.
- Ewoks. C'mon. Best of the Imperial army, defeated by fuzzy toys? Pathetic.
- safety violations, safety violations everywhere. See any railings around those open pits into the reactor core? I've seen hedgerows on what's left of Alderaan with higher barriers

Other than that, he did not take into consideration the damage a group of armed guerilla warfare experts could inflict on his off-site shield array. That's just bad planning.

>>10984167

So...why does the emperor do nothing again?

>>10984028
>You'll have so many Skywalkers

>800 Skywalker

While I do see the logic behind that (and it is pretty damn compelling) the way it was put together makes my head spin worse than listening to a gungan try to parse its way through galactic basic. Frickken skywalkers all over the damn place.

>>10984172
This kids, is why you stay off drugs.

>>10984167
>Republic holovid reenactment
>Legitimate source

laughingduros.jpg

>>10984192

Go be Emperor then; when you do come back and tell me how easy it is for an idiot to get to that position.

Ever wonder what the empire has in those little mousedroids? They're far too big to JUST lead people around imperial facilities and carry messages.

There's gotta be a reason why they're designed to slag their innards if you try to dismantle them

>>10984205
fuckin' deathsticks, man

>>10982509

>nerf herder.

THATS NOT YOUR WORD.

THATS OUR WORD.

ONLY WE CAN SAY THAT.

>>10984205
TaggoCo keeps glitterstim illegal to protect it's profits.

>>10984226

Its because too many damn Gungans and Toydarians were stealing em when they first came out.

>>10984231
Whatever, nerf herder.

>>10984215
Emperor? Pfft. That's an old Sith joke, at best. I'm a Republic man, to the core, but .. nah, man. Nah.

You want a hard job? I worked on Admiral Motti's personal staff and my boss got choked to death by one of those batshit wizards. Now, I'm working on an evaporator farm and part-time bartending in Mos Eisley. There's a hard job.

>>10984192
>I glance at the thread and find OP's pic oddly touching.
>Then I read 800 skywalkers
>Suddenly; Jedi/Sith apologists

Never change, /tg/.

>>10984244

Oh its on now maintenance droid. Its. On. Now.

God I love /tg/

>>10984226
Low bid contracts. TaggeCo again.

Look at the connections, man!

>>10984253

You know, that's pretty much a job for crazies, and people who aren't crazy but are still pretty uh...slow.

>>10984231
>OH MY GOD, SOMEONE SAID NERF-HERDER ON THE HOLONET!
Neofag.

>>10984266
Hey, hey, hey. Relax. Have a Kessel Run's worth of patience with that Gungan swine. They're born that way.

>>10984266
Try it. My uncle's a bounty hunter and he'll kick your ass.

Fucking kids keep ruining our discussions.

>>10984309


My uncle is a rancor.

>>10984292
Crazy is some suited-up cyborg/burn ward refugee choking the shit out of your boss while you watch, still holding his HotCaf. Nearly wet myself, to be honest, but that ... not cool, man. Not cool.

>>10984301
>>10984298

You don't forgive 200 years of repression against the nerf herders of the republic.

The only thing great about the Empire so far is equal rights for nerf herders.

Its about time we got SOME recompense for the years of suffering.

>>10984326
my uncle is marka ragnos

>>10984326
>rancor
Watch out for those gates, sailor. Getcha every time.

>>10984338

Your mother is a Gungan.

>>10984338
My parents are travelling jewish mechanics.

It's always summer on at least one planet.

>>10984309
>>10984326

Well EXCUSE me for being a nerf herder that worked his way through the Carida Academy.

>>10984371

Jawas are five points apiece in target practice.

>>10984376
Affirmative Action.

>>10984373

What happens when its not summer on any planet?

What the average Imperial citizen doesn't seem to grasp, is that we're everywhere.

In the years since the emancipation for nerf herders we've gotten everywhere.

The sector grand moff? 1/4 Nerf Herder.

That crime lord? 1/2 Nerf herder.

And we all KNOW each other.

>>10984411

We're perfectly aware that your kind are the reason the galaxy sucks so much right now, thankyouverymuch.

>>10984411


How cute, he's trying to make himself sound important.

Can we talk about something else that's been bothering me? Why did Seinar cancel the TIE Advanced X1 program?

>>10984400
And my hard-earned credits at work.

>>10984396
Jawas had their own Holocaust.

>>10984402
Peace on the Holonet.

>>10984423

Because people are cheaper, apparently.

>>10984423
>>Can we talk about something else that's been bothering me? Why did Seinar cancel the TIE Advanced X1 program?

It wasn't necessary. What was the Rebellion's top line starfighter? The X-Wing? Seriously a T-65? The Y-Wing was an old reliable, emphasis on OLD. The new shit was shit. I mean the B-Wing? The gyros on that bitch made it a total hanger queen and a jumped-up gunboat is not exactly going to bring the Empire to its knees.

>>10984423

Honestly? Politics.

Word around the academy some grand moff tied up the project because he was getting kick backs for parts and replacement craft for the old TIEs.

Sucks huh?

>>10984451
But we're sacrificing out space superiority! I know the Avenger variant is supposed to be the replacement for that program, but it doesn't fucking compare! What was high command thinking?!

>>10984441
That's not funny, m grandfather died in the holocaust.

He was drunk and fell out of a watchtower.

Nevar forgit.

>>10983423
>>10983454

My god, has the propaganda machine gotten EVERYBODY?! OF COURSE the Empire used to be the republic! Documents from the republic era show that Jedi were used as peacekeepers (read: secret police) until their attempted coup during the clone wars.

>>10982473
>>10984028
I'm frankly appalled that you believe in this "skywalker heritage" nonsense. Tatooine has no birth records; anybody supposedly born there could easily not even exist. Not only that, we have no solid evidence supporting Luke and Leia's relation aside from genetic tests that THEY THEMSELVES financed. And their relationship to Vader is in question too. These "genetic tests" are just Luke Skywalker and Leia Solo trying to legitimize their rule over the New Republic by claiming descent from its most famous general. GET THE WOOL OUT OF YOUR EYES, SHEEPLE!

>>10984458
Shit, man. Same thing happen to the Tie Defender I heard rumors about? I don't even know if it left production, but that thing was supposed to out-fly and out-gun god, if it ever got made.

>>10984487
Did he land on a Jawa?

>>10984456
What about the A-wing? Dodonna designing a front-line strike fighter? We're fucked.

if we want to talk trainwrecks.

tie-crawler.

what the FUCK.

who thought slapping a tie-fighter body between a pair of ridiculously large, vulnerable, and outdated tracks would be a good idea?

>>10984500
I bet so. Little buggers couldn't break a butterfly's fall.

>>10984511
The only suitable terrain they could be used on?
Alderaan.
I smell cover-up.

>>10984511
They make great cover WHEN THEY INEVITABLY BREAK DOWN.

Maybe ImpSurForCom does like us grunts after all?

>>10984507
Actually, I hear he had a degree in starship engineering and design.

Then again, I hear that someof them were assembled with WOOD, so...

Y'know...back when I was navigator on a freighter, running Tibanna from Bespin to Tepasi, there were a couple of Nerf Herders on the crew.
I never gave them a second thought (they were cargo haulers, I was flight crew. We hardly even crossed paths) until that meteorite took out our lateral stabilizers while we were too close to the atmosphere of some backwater planet in the Mid-Rim.
One of those Nerf Herders (fuck I wish I could remember his name) dragged me from the wreckage despite his own wounds.
Dammit...what the fuck was his name...?
Well, anyways...Nerf Herders are all right in my book.

>>10984497

Dude, tell me about it.

Last I heard Lord Vader got his asthma laced hands on all the protoypes and gave them to a few 'chosen'.

God, as if those red armored fags on Coruscant weren't big enough ass holes.

'Oh, look, we got the only 12 ships in the galaxy that can outgun a cruiser without breaking a sweat'

God...

>>10984545
Interior paneling only. Cardooinians, man, what can you do? Motherfuckers believe in doing shit in STYLE.

>>10984507
>>What about the A-wing? Dodonna designing a front-line strike fighter? We're fucked.

Give Dodonna an unlimited budget and another five prototypes and we are fucked. The A-Wing is just an up-engined T-65 without the payload as is. As a test platform it was impressive, but the Rebels don't have the R&D budget to follow through.

They should never have discontinued the Eta-2 Actis.

Beautiful fighter, and so small too!

>>10984547
Motti's former assistant, now bartender on Tatooine here.
Dude - half of my best customers are Nerf Herders. When I'm working, nobody gets to use 'their word' without a strong warning and an 86'ing follow-up.
broclaw.jpg

>>10984539

The worst part? They take AT-AT washouts and stuff them in there.

Where is the justice.

You should hear them in the cantina sometimes. Its sad really.

>>10984497

Fuck yeah it was. They guy who graduated at the top of my flight school fly one, with Vader himself as his wingman. He said they performed EXACTLY like all the rumors said they would. But he is the only one I know who has flown one and the dude was crazy good, he went from flight officer to colonel in less than three years.

>>10984371

>Jewish

You misspelled jawa, bro.

>>10984599
Probably a loose wire in his protocol droid's translation circuit. Just thwack it a few times with a hammer.

>>10984576
Bitches don't know about my skipray blastboat.

>>10984612
And the bitches probably are happy about that, too. Skipray boats are right up there with Tusken Raider plastic surgeons; sure, the job is technically done, but damn, its all kinds of ugly.

>>10984587
Tell me about it. It's a pity nobody would buy any after the whole Jedi Rebellion thing during the formation of the Empire. Who wants to fly the primary fighter of choice of the traitors?

I do, damnit.

>>10984595
Hey, with unemployment like it is in the Mid-Rim, they can't just demob them, you know?

>>10984646
I hear they have buggy targeting software. Real deal or more Gungan gibbering?

>>10984657
Gungan gibbering. I own one myself.

The real problem is finding somewhere to park your hyperdrive ring these days. I lost two of the three this thing came with due to smugglers running straight through the few remaining parking areas.

>>10984673
Bay six, Mos Eisley. "Friendly" mechanic who knows some Hutts who know some Hutts. Just sayin'.

>>10984673

Those things are a fucking nuisance.
I've smashed through two and barely missed another while trying to get through some empty space to unload my spi-...uhh...cargo.

>>10984646
CorSec bought a few, and I know a couple of the richer Inner Rim planets and the CSA picked up some.

But, yeah. I know in CorSec's case, someone in procurement's brother knew a guy at Incom, and that's why they switched to the T-65. You know how it goes on Corellia.

You know, according to the Rebel's reports of the conflict at Endor, they took out the SSD Executor with strike craft.

Strike craft. An INTERCEPTOR.

Now, while that sinks in, you also should realize that there are multiple recorded instances of a single squad of rebel strikecraft destroying entire convoys, capital ships, or worse.

Quite frankly, what is the purpose of the massive cruisers and star destroyers both sides put out? Fighters seem vastly more efficient, all things considered.

>>10984709

>Implying those reports aren't 90% fabrication.

>>10984709
your full of shit, how could they take out the executor

>>10984709
The Rebels say a lot of things. You know what they don't have? Space control.

You want to shoot up unarmed convoys and maybe score a lucky hit on a thermo-couple and get some propaganda footage? Buy snub-fighters. Want to run a galactic government? Invest in capital ships.

>>10984709
Having worked on more than a few of those bulky chaff piles, I'd have to say its the impressive show of force that most of the jackasses in uniform get off on. Huge, empty corridors, gigantic drops into almost-pointless air shafts and these *huuuuuuge* grates over everything. The floor? Good luck finding more than fifty feet worth mopping, what with the carbosteel people so in bed with the designers of the average cruiser, they're practically Corellian cousins.

Oh, the things I could say about my *brief* tenure on the Death Star, as well...

>>10984738
WHY? If the spent the cost of a SD on a decent multi-role and hyper-capable fighter, (Like, though I hate to admit it, Incom's T-65,), they'd probably have a lot more coverage, power, survivability, and fewer total crew. Seriously.

>>10984709
It's a seismic shift in military doctrine, that's for sure. During the Clone Wars, the Republic's doctrine (from which both current Imperial and, for the most part, Rebel doctrine is descended from) shfited from small forces supported by Jedi and local levies to large forces of capital ships crewed by professional officers. Now, we're seeing the rise of a current based on small groups of strike craft. It'll be interesting. The rise of the Nebulon-B, Lancer, and Carrack classes shows that COMIMPSPAFOR is taking it seriously, though.

>THE DEATH STAR WAS AN INSIDE JOB
No shit. Who did you think the Bothans worked for?

>>10984748

And just look at the steerage pits they shove the bridge crews into while the captain and his band of ass-kissers strut around staring out windows into empty space.

It's enough to make you want to sign on with the Rebs.

>>10984765
Downtime. A snub-fioghter needs hours in the hangar being maintained by an astromech droid for every hour in flight. A capital ship has 24/7 endurance on station at a fraction of the support cost.

Hey, I was there man, I was there! You don't even know! That fucking Skywalker, he was fucking inhuman, fucking danced through fields of fire untouched, I didn't chase him because nobody could touch him.
Three hundred sixty-eight of my friends died on that fucking Death Star defending you from those fucking Rebels. Don't you ever tell me it was a hoax.

>>10984731
Glass jaw, man, glass jaw.

You'd think in a ship that size, they'd store the ordnance far away from the bridge, which would also be far away from the main reactors. Nope. gotta have them big launchbays. The main magazine was right under the bridge, and blew out the main engines, pushing it into the DS.

It looks baffling as shit, seeing it crash like that, until you talk to a competent (i.e. non-KDY) astroengineer.

>>10984791
I might just be a bartender, fella, but that's pretty close to treason. Then again, we're also being governed by the "friends of the Ewoks and Jawas", so fuck, treason it up, my Nerf Herder.

>>10984765

You understand nothing of the logistics of fleet combat!

Can a snubfighter carry an army to a planet?
Can a snubfighter pilot spend 40 hours sitting in the cockpit while in hyperspace and fight effectively when they reach their destination?

Wake up repubtards, combined arms spacewarfare is where it is it. A balanced force. Capital ships supported by medium cruisers, anti-fighter picket ships, and it's own contingent of fighters.

A small imperial patrol fleet does what squadrons and squadrons of fighters can never do it. It projects power and stability.

>>10984802
>I was there when Skywalker was there!
>still alive
huttface.jpg

>>10984791
well, that explains why pretty much every SSD captain i've met is batshit loco. closwe the goddamn blast shields when punching the hyperdrive. hyperspace contains things no mortal man is meant to see.

You know what always bugs me?

It's when people dismiss stuff like this as a "conspiracy theory" when the commonly accepted explanation is a theory about a conspiracy.

>>10984819
Another one of you Gungans, huh? Damn, will you never learn...? That kind of thinking is what fueled the fire for the first Costly Star, before some ignorant redneck from a desert shitplanet blew it up.

alot of the stuff going on in this thread is treasonous bullshit. Also, I really hope they smash these terrorist to space dust...
GLORY TO THE EMPIRE!!!!!!

>>10984806
God, what is WITH KDY? Anyone remember the last time they made a good ship? Prior to the Clone Wars, I think. Might be prior to the Republic, I'm no† sure.

>>10984859
KDY was never good.

>>10984846

The beaurocrats behind the DS got what they deserved.

The whole "quantity over quality" doctrine.

You expect waves of conscripted pilots in expendable TIE/n Fighters to stand up against motivated terrorists in the superior X-Wing and A-wing platforms?

No, the future lies in solid leadership, and a focus on trained pilots flying the hardware our soldiers deserve, the Tie Advanced and Tie Defender.

And more Commanders we can believe in.

>>10984819
>Can a snubfighter pilot spend 40 hours sitting in the cockpit while in hyperspace and fight effectively when they reach their destination?

This is actually the one advantage the Y-wing has over the X-wing. Roomier cockpit, especially in the 1-man and astromech configuration. You can pee in something other than a diaper and sleep in an almost human position.

The two man config, though? Don't even try it. As cramped as an X-wing, plus another dude's ballsweat (and my SIO was a Sullustan. Nice guy, and you won't catch me saying a bad thing Sullustan humor or cooking, but coming from a volcanic world means that you sweat basically pure fucking sulfur). Feels bad man.

>>10984884
Test them before they take command.
If they're Force-positive, kick 'em to the curb.
Look at the last time we relied on them.

I'd join back up, if they kept the religious zealots out of command.

>>10984884
Now I want a HOPE poster of Thrawn... yet I lack the requisite skillz.

>>10984684
Oh great, now the Huttese Anti-defamation League is going to bust in here and start waving cease & desist orders around.

what does a Y-Wing do

>>10984832
I was in space, you fucking dianoga-for-brains.

>>10984900

Look, if you remove Force-sensitives from all positions of power, you basically took every single important human out of the galaxy.

And there are an assload of humans who'd rather follow a Force-sensitive human than a reasonable nonhuman. It's crazy, I know, I'm a human and I'd rather go hang out with tentacled blobs of protoplasm if it meant I could stay the fuck away from anyone who talks to bacteria before making any life-altering decisions, but that's just the way things work.

>>10984931
The y-wing is a fighter-bomber shipwith a 2man crew. slow as fuck and handles like a hutt on an oil slick, but damn if it hasn't got an awesome payload.
BOMBS YOUL HAVE SO MANY BOMBS 800 MEGATONS

>>10984931
Takes a shitton more damage than either an X-Wing or a TIE/ln. Seriously. They're slow. They're showing their age. But I have seen a Y-wing blunder into a turbolaser blast and fly home under its own power.

>>10984904

If Thrawn had never been killed by the treacherous Noghri(to be fair, he was playing with fire), and managed to end the Rebellion...I try not to think too hard on what would could have been.

A galactic empire free of Xenophobia, idiocy of force using leaders, with stable and sane leadership.

And the Vong would have been stopped cold upon arrival, instead of rampaging through the galaxy killing trillions and destroying hundreds of worlds...

>>10984957
Vong? Who're they?

>>10984943
That ancient religion of crazy old wizards is almsot dead anyway.

>>10984920
one thing I want to know. why does the empire bother letting the Hutt empire stay? the empire needs to expand

>>10984964

Space Chinese.

>>10984956

>implying you saw a snubfighter survive anything other than a near miss by a turbolaser

>>10984964
just a myth being spread around by some whack job ignore him

>>10984904
It's like they were made for him...

>>10984975
Old, old treaties, man. You don't just abrogate that shit - the Huttese economy is way to closely tied to the economy of the Empire as a whole.

>>10984975
Crime will always exist, but in the hands of the Hutts it is much less sloppy than any other group of "Legitimate Businesspeople." Of course, you might draw correlations between bumper years for spice running and Imperial officials suddenly being able to afford new houses, but that would make you a cynic.

>>10984985
Missed the cockpit, sure, and it limped the fuck in on one engine, but I swear to space, man, it was a square hit on the rear starboard quarter.

>>10984996
Also, a desire to keep Corellia weak by supporting the competition.

>>10985007
Bullshit. I've seen near misses sear the fucking plating off frigates - no way a fighter could take a hit.

>>10985007
oh sure, everyone's heard THAT one. that's up there with the X-Wing that managed to land on a planet with only one of it's four wings still attached and the astrodroid fried

>>10985021
Corellia's criminal organizations are young, relative to the Hutt cartels. The Hutts will screw eachother over, but you don't see their wars spilling over into caf stores or civil transit arteries.

>>10985041
>>10985034
I can't vouch for the guy who posted this, but talk to any Y-wing pilot. Those guys at Koensayr knew their shit.

>>10984920
Funniest thing is that the 'league makes hutts look weak. Bunch of morons that started it up. I was one of Jabbas personal guards (Gamorrean pride!) and he fucking despised the league. Hutts need fear, both psychologically, and literally, Hutt operations runs on the emotion. Despite all the deadly bounty-hunters and assassins, very very few Hutts die to non-hutts. Because every fucking one is afraid that some other Hutt will put out a hit on them. And, to be fair, they're right. If people tried, hutts would be fucked.

Also fuck that Skywalker guy, he killed Jabba and I've been forced to work with some fucking lizard-head crime boss until one of Jabba''s cousins finally realizes that Jabba is actually dead and I'm not a assassination attempt. Like Jabba would do that, he was a smart fucker, even if he was really arrogant. He would know that one of his senior guards would be recognizable. Still, I hope the stupid fucking relative calms down soon and hires me, no one pays like a hutt. Course one has to be careful to not annoy him, but I'm pretty decent at that, after, I live still.

As for how I got away, well lets just say that I've been in the business a while and knew to keep a little speeder bike hidden away. Didnt get me far before breaking though, but some Jawas picked me up. They can be quite friendly to armed non-droids.

ps Bob Fett is a little wuss, he got taken out in moments.

>>10984995
but those were Old Republic treaties. why should the Empire honor treaties signed thousands of years ago. we could easily assimlate them and take their shit for themselves
>>10984996
less sloppy? In the hands of those kriffing worms, I need more convincing then that my good man

And yeah, hutts are the best criminals out there, par none.

Well they kinda depopulate the dancing industry sometimes, but hey, who cares?

>>10985073

I gotta say, you're very articulate for a Gamorrean.
Please don't take this the wrong way if I'm wrong, but I kinda find it hard to believe.
Could just be my own latent xenophobia from being raised as an Imperial...

>>10984673
I know a crazy guy who modified the shit out of his Actis. He removed the ring part of the hyperdrive ring and permanently attached it to the fighter and now has two massive nacelles on the front of the thing. Looks surprisingly cool, just a pity he had to strip out the blasters.

Last I heard he was in the market for the wingtip blaster of an X-Wing to mount underneath the thing.

>>10985073
>Gamorrean pride!
This one phrase explains everything else about your post.

>>10985089
Here's the thing (and this has been done before) the second the Hutts are at risk from high up, they suddenly reveal a bunch of rebel bases and sudden cash donations.

Hutts are smart.

>>10985073
Bullshit. My ex-girlfriend was a Twilek entertainer on that barge. It was Luke's sister, not Luke. Typical Gamorrean - you guys need glasses!

>>10985089
sorry I meant to say "take their shit for ourselves"
I rage whenever think of the hutts

>>10985112
Cybernetic enhancements my friend are a wonderful thing.

>>10985130
And you shut the hell up, we are excellent guards, and a hell of a lot more articulate then the damn wookies.

>>10985122
Speaking of batshit insane fighter modders, there's a guy here in Anchorhead on Tatooine who's been scavenging old vulture droid parts for the last 10 years. Crazy fucker's trying to build a humanoid starfighter with working arms and legs.

It'll never work.

>>10985122

people who fly uglies makes me sick. Sure I don't get to fly Defenders anymore and am stuck to a command chair of a VSD, I still think back to my days in the first of the Defender squadrons...

Oh man, one day early in the first test sorties, we came upon some pirates flying mishmashed uglies made from from Tie, Y-Wing, and Z-95 spare parts...lets just say "leave no survivors" was quite easy against that junk.

>Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 2 times now.

>>10985140
Odd, I remember her being eaten. Eh, I never pay attention to the entertainment, jsut leads to tears.

And while she did the deed indeed, Luke was the one to get her in a position where none of us could help.

But in the end, fuck Skywalkers in general.

>>10985163
Don't get me wrong, it's no ugly. The guy put a lot of work into making it look like the thing was designed that way. Replaced most of the hull plating to get rid of the seams and everything.

>>10985133
I...can't argue with that logic. I DO hate the rebels more then I hate the hutts, what the brix are they thinking, trying to destroy every good thing the Empire stands for?
>HERP DERP, the empire is corrupt

oh yeah? I could say the same about the Old Republic

Who knew you could lob a grenade at the chimney to kill the space nazis cooking mashmallows in the fireplace?

>>10985089

The Empire needs the Hutts way more than the Hutts need the Empire.

>>10985112
It's sad, really. Their language centers are about like human's, but their vocal apparatus is so, so (forgive me, dude) primitive.

There are actually several very well regarded Garmorrean novelists. I read an interview with one, Voort saBinring, in The Coursacanti the other week.

If the Rebels put a lot of stock in tough ships and independent hyperdrives, it's because they know they can't trust their friends to pick them up.

TIEs may not be heavily shielded or armored, but they have amazing pilot survivability. Just look at those flight suits!

>>10985173

[ok, how do i archive thread?]

>>10985205
Definitely. Hutts were here LONG before the empire, or the republic for that matter. They are too good at what they do, and too good at being useful when that isnt enough.

>>10985212
It's mostly tactics, really. The insurgents use hit-and-run tactics, and its hard to use those when you have to spend 10 minutes launching your fighters after you drop out of hyperspace, and then another 20 loading them up before you leave.

>>10985176

You seem like you know a bit about the inner workings of Hutts...
I'm in the market for a Twi'lek entertainer or two. My crew's been getting restless on those long jumps...
Who should I try to contact for the best deal (I'm looking for experience, but not TOO MUCH experience, if you catch my meaning)?

I don't give a motherfuck what those X-wing slinging faggots say, the Tie Fighter is still the sexiest thing to leave an ion trail.

JAWAS DID DETH STAR! NEVAR 4GET!

>>10985176

Jabba had replacements coming in every week. Probably he had 5 or 6 twi'lek girls on standby in case he ever got bored of one. Dude was sick, like all hutts.

>>10985234
You want Talanda T'il, not Hutts. It's an easy mistake to make, since the work so closely. But trust me, one of those former cult girls...nom.

>>10985254
they are truly disgusting villains

>>10985233
>The insurgents use hit-and-run tactics, and its hard to use those when you give a shit about leaving your friends behind to die or worse.
fixed

Uh, by the way, question for the starship experts. I've always thought of using all the credits I've stowed away over the years to buy a big freighter and get a bunch of my old family from Gamorr and go about the galaxy hiring our services out as mercenaries, what sort of ship would you suggest for that?

>>10985265
Not friends. Recruitment. The Imperial Navy processes ~7,000,000 recruits a year on Caridia alone. The Rebel's can't hope to match that.

>>10985265
If the Navy just left behind its fighters whenever the rebs jumped away, wouldn't they catch them with their larger drives and jack their shit with turbolasers? The Imperium doesn't leave men behind, the continued existence of the Rebels, and their constant exploitation of that honest, Imperial sense of honor and camaraderie, is proof enough of that.

>>10985271
Any of the CEC's Action series (I like the IV, personally) bulk freighters would do nicely. How big a family are we talking, though.

>>10985234
Oddly enough, this isnt really a hutt thing so much. They like to stay a bit back from that. Just look up any slaver and he'll know a guy. Or enslave you. Bring a gun.

>>10985277
Gotta ask though man, how many washouts?

>>10985271

Depends on so many factors? Are you looking to buy new or used? How many passengers? Is this going to be your mobile staging area? Armed or unarmed?

>>10985234

One of my sister's friends is a twi'lek. She's brilliant at starship design and wrote some bestselling novels on the homeworld, but since moving to coruscant she hasn't been able to do anything but dance at clubs.
Twi'lek discrimination has been overlooked in galactic society for too long.

>>10985271
Do NOT get a YT-1300. Just because the Millenium Falcon is one of the fastest hardiest ships out there (and has been through several dozen owners' hands), doesn't mean they're all like that. It's been modified out the goddamn WAZOO. It had to have been since it's been flying since the Old Republic days.

>>10985271
How big is your family?

>>10985286
Apparently even washouts get a spot somewhere nowadays. You think it takes top class to turn knobs on a Victory's cooling unit?

>>10985217

.http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/main.php?mode=submit

>>10985283
I think I could get most of the boars in my clan to go, they've been bored as fuck since some peacekeeping stormtroopers stopped the local conflicts.

So about 20 Gamorreans. Plus a Gamorrean cook or two.

>>10985286
Not nearly enough, if you ask me.

>>10985271

Depends on the amount of passengers you need to haul, but my motto is "Go where the Action is". I.e. an Action VI.
Not much room for passengers stock, but easily modified (damn those Corellians know how to make ships) and only takes a relatively small crew for a ship of its size.
Plus you can practically haul an asteroid field in it (even after modding for passengers).

>>10985297
Either, 25 Gamorreans, yes, armed is best

>>10985314
>a Gamorrean cook or two.
I hear you people are wonderful with applesauce.

Say whatever you want about the rebs, I'm just glad that Xizor fuck isn't kicking around anymore. That guy was a few flashing lights short of an astromech.

If the death star really was a cover-up, though, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Remember those Trooper droid things Someone mentioned on the holocast from Kashyyk awhile ago? I wonder why nothing came of them?

>>10985300

Though to be fair, the YT series in general is wonderfully modifiable.

>>10985286
>>10985311

That's one of the things I regret about the loss of Thrawn. Military minded, but he would of kept the Navy/Army volunteer only, and if ever manpower was needed, well there were rumors of entire squads and old Dreadnaughts crewed entirely by handpicked clones.

>>10985300
>Just because the Millenium Falcon is one of the fastest hardiest ships out there
The what?

>>10985314
Action IV might be a bit small. Try a GR-75, you can get those cheap anymore.

>>10985300
I wouldnt touch one of those, I've seen Han's (back when he dealt with Jabba more friendly like), and the corridors are way too small to fit Gamorreans comfortably.

>>10985277

If they keep blowing up your trillion-credit, planet deatroying penis replacements, 7 million a year won't be enough.

You could build 20 Star Destroyers for the price of one of those things.

War is hell. You hear about the stormtroopers they picked up off of Endor six years after the war ended?
Fucking fuck, dude. They don't make 'em like the 501st anymore.

>>10985300
good GOD, tell me about it. You have no IDEA how many junked YT-1300's i get dropped of here (i run a junkyard on Dantooine) because some trust-fund kid wanted one and then wrecked it pulling some stupid shit that you shouldn't even try in a snub fighter.

A good tenth of the entire production run have fallen into black holes in The Maw too, because of dumb kids thinking all 1300's go as fast as the falcon

>>10985360
name of one of the ships the rebels employed.

BTW can anyone confirm this:
there are some rumors that it was there when the death star was destroyed.

>>10985360
Rebel propaganda ship. I hear they have like 5 of them.

>>10985392
Keep telling yourself that. I owned the Falcon at one point. She's a swift little thing, but a real hangar queen. Felt good getting her off my hands, even if she's now running for the rebels.

>>10985412

No fucking way you owned the Falcon. Pics or it didn't happen.

>>10985340
You laugh, but there's a lovely little Garmorrean bistro on Ord Mantell. Best fucking bepps I've ever had. It's by the Golden Savripp Bar.

>>10985363
A refitted GR-75 seems quite nice, put some weapons and a bit more shielding on, and it would be very nice indeed.

Thanks a bunch guys, now all I need to do is find a decent name for us that doesnt sound idiotic in Gamorrean.

And fuck jabba's cousin.

>>10985412

Let me guess, you lost it in a card game?

>>10985412

Yeah yeah yeah...anybody can claim they owned it.
Hell, I sold the Empire the Chimaera (DERP).
Pics or it didn't happen, buddy.

>>10985431
Yeah, Gamorrean food is fantastic, though I am a bit non-partial. Still, I find it weird that people retch at the thought, sure some of us arent all that bright but we have tastebuds just like everyone else. And you would be shocked how upset an old boar gets over bad food.

>>10985412
yeah right and I found the outbound flight

>>10985440
pfft, hell no. sold her for a profit, and bought a replacement. feels good man.

>>10985441
>>10985426
here you go. i sure hope your computers can support 20-year-old holoimage formats, though!

>>10985485

Hmm...either you're on the level, or that's a DAMN good Holo-shoop.
So...how'd she fly back in those days?

>>10985485
And, of course, the reason it looks *nothing* like the Falcon is because subsequent owners modified her beyond recognition?

huttface.png

You know, why did the Empire switch away from clones anyway? Perfect, well trained incredibly disipline soldiers with no chance of any being rebels or rebel sympathizers. I've heard something about Kamino being untrustworthy, but surely the empire had their own facilities by then?

Wasn't this thread about Death Star conspiracy nuttery? How'd it end up turing into a Corellian smugglers circle-jerk?

>>10985505
Because people keep fuckin'. Seriously, even during the "Clone Wars," system forces did the bulk of the fighting, not the clones.

Anyone who says that the Empire would have beaten the Vong is kidding themselves. The superweapons were way too unwieldy and badly overpriced, and were best for blowing up the galaxy's own planets; moreover, if there were any surviving Rebels from the Alliance, they'd probably restart their war as soon as the Vong showed up. And then, once the Empire fell, there wouldn't be anyone left.

>>10985505

I think it had something to do with health of the clones...
Damn shame, too. Those guys were alright. Just took some getting used to being around a bunch of the same guy.

This thread has been requested 5 times now.

>>10985499
>implying you've ever seen the falcon up close

Guys, you won't believe this.

This crazy old homeless guy gave me a LIGHTSABER. And when I say crazy, he is completely cracked. He tried to talk me into putting on a blindfold and swinging it around, as if they weren't dangerous enough when you can see what you're doing with them!

I've been cutting random shit in half all morning. I swear, you don't even feel a tug as it goes through ANYTHING. It's the most fucking ridiculously awesome thing ever.

Anyway, if you had one, would you sell it, or keep it?

>>10985505

>Perfect, well trained incredibly disiplined soldiers with no chance of any being rebels or rebel sympathizers.

This is what clonefags actually believe.

>>10985505
oh I'm sure they have their own facilities, but they just don't talk about it. pretty wise decision I say, I wouldn't want the rebels finding it either.

>>10985520
Yeah, thats the imperial army or something, though I've never seen them. Every time the empire comes to desert-bumfuck its been stormtroopers, and almost every stormtrooper I've seen for a long while have jsut been ordinary people.

>>10985517
That's the way of the force, man.

>>10985517

Fuck you man. I just said the Corellians make good ships. Personally, I don't think any of them can fly any better than than a Gonk droid.

>>10985548
sell it that shits dangerous to have. did you report him to the proper authorities?

>>10985548

NEITHER! Fucking throw that shit out an airlock.
Seriously. If the Empire were to trace that thing to you...

>>10985505

I have access to some interesting...semi-classified stuff now that archives in the Remnant are rather easy to get at, even for a lowly VSD captain as myself.

Turns out the cloning facilities on Kamino were shit tier, and the douche Emperor had massive facilities hidden away in his warehouses for all his expansive toys. Rumor is Thrawn had one.

>>10985527
Because we know the Republic fared so well. What with, death count in the trillions, hundreds of worlds razed or terraformed into hellish vong worlds...

The Empire under the Emperor and the Moffs would have fared the same fate, but we all know Thrawn and a few of the more sane Sector Commanders would have crushed them.

what's all this 'remnant' and 'vong' shit?

you guys really need to kick the deathstick habit

>>10985548

That's nice. You now have something almost as useful as a Multitool--if it weren't so damn big and clumsy. It's a glorified brushcutter.

Whackjob religious fanatics going against blasters with agricultural tools. No wonder they got wiped out.

>>10985548
My buddy got one of those from some smuggler, cut his hand off in like 5 minutes, Jabba just laughed. And then killed him because a one handed guard was useless and he didnt feel like paying his Cybernetics bills, but hey.

Guy also liked Rancor porn, and was planning on trying to uh, do Jabba's. So I guess it was for the best really.

>>10985527
They would have done better than the Republic, and that's all that matters.

>>10985629
>Rancor porn

>>10985671
Yeah man, people actually like stuff like that. Rancors themselves can't appreciate it, but some creepers get off to that garbage.

>>10985693

Y'know, as far as "dangerous sports" go, I think I'll stick with skysurfing.

worried father here in need of some advice
my sons an archeologist and went to korriban for some big expedition. the first few weeks were good, he sent me holomails almost everyday telling me how well the expedition is coming along. but then the holomails gradually stopped coming.

>>10985548
Personally I think its retarded. More than a few signed up over the years for Jabba just for his Rancor, since with was like the only 'tame' one you could go near (sorta) that I know of, and every time it ended in them dieing for a job reason OR because they snuck in to the rancor's pen and were eaten. Which is why Jabba tolerated it I think.

>>10985629
>Guy also liked Rancor porn, and was planning on trying to uh, do Jabba's.

>>10985744 haven't heard anything now for 2 standard months and the wife is worried sick.

>>10985744

Probably just met a girl or something.
Don't tell me you believe those ghost stories they tell about Korriban?

>>10985782
I'm wondering if I should go there myself and see if everythings okay, but I don't want to look like some damned fool and have turn out that my sons just busy? advice?

>>10985548
Personally I think that the hutt lovers are worse. I mean, both everyone else INCLUDING the hutts thinks its the most nasty in the galaxy, but they still try for it every once in a while. Jabba had them shot on sight, and I for one was glad to obey.

Ugh, nasty nasty shit you run into as a hutt guard, the smell of the hutt is honestly the least disgusting thing, despite what most new guys seem to think. Pays worth it, but I am so glad to be leaving.

>>10985787
heard a few, but I always thought that place was some graveyard world of a long dead civilization. if he met a girl I would have known. the last letter semmed kinda...I dunno rushed...

>>10985801

Send a droid as a "gift".
Have the droid contact you (or have it tell your son to contact you) when it gets there.
That way you just look like a caring dad (as opposed to a worried train-wreck), you get peace of mind, and your son gets a droid.
I used to date an archaeologist. Trust me, they can never have too many droids.

>>10985787
A smuggler I knew was fucking terrified of Korriban, would talk about it but he near shat his pants after someone mispronounced 'horrible ban' near him. But then again I also knew a smuggler who thought that swamps were trying to kill him with goblins, so I dont know.

>>10985874
Haha sounds like that old wise tale of Dagobah crawling with little green men.

>>10985745
>they snuck in to the rancor's pen and were eaten.
You know, for a lot of them, that IS the fetish.

>>10985874
wouldnt rather. Fucker in the holonet-bar next to me is smoking a deathstick and its making it hard to think. I think I'll show him some of the old Gamorrean charm. aka I'm gonna kill him if any wookies are here and cant understand. (only way to get it here, Mos Eisley is a terrible place for getting holonet really, odd given what a criminal hub it is, but what do I know about that kind of thing)

>>10985863
>Send a droid as a "gift".
Well that's easy enough IF YOU'RE MADE OUT OF CREDITS.

>>10985874
thanks for the input!!!
the last hololetter said they found something big and quite a few artifacts too.

>>10985948
Nah man, just go some droid recycle plant, find one that works well enough, clean it up a bit, and just send it. Ain't hard, and if done right, makes people really happy.

>>10985948
Send him a little cheap shitty one with a camera hidden in it's eyething, Jabba loved using those, having them fake breaking down, then sneak about and send back info. Only worked on idiots, but for the price it was worth it.

>>10985948

You can find surplus labor droids for like 500 credits. If it's that much of a problem, take out a loan or something.
Shit, how concerned are you about your SON?

>>10986014
very. he promised to write everyday, and eventually the hololetters just began to gradually stop.

I DECLARE THIS PLACE TRIPLE HERETIC.

I DEMAND THE WARP DRIVE BEING REPLACED, SINCE THIS CLEARLY ISN'T PHALLUS VI OF HERPESIUM SECTOR.

IN THE MEANTIME I ALSO DEMAND SOME OF YOUR STUPID SEXY XENO ASS.

>>10986080
the last letter was rushed and he kept going on about how he found this old academy and discovered some old artifacts in there. then the letters stopped coming. that was 2 months ago

>>10986103

inb4 "My son the Jedi" holopasta.

>>10986098
"Stupid sexy xeno ass" eh? You have Gamorrean tastes my friend, I'll be happy to post last months edition of "Playtusk" for you.

>>10986103

If it's that bad, I'll do you a favor.
I've got a shipment of old Bactoid B-1s that were never paid for. I can take one to Korriban, and say it's from you.
I'm in the Thanium sector now, so it's only a hop-skip and a jump to Korriban.

The Empire, Rebellion, and the New Republic are all illusions to foster the conceit that power is changing hands. Its been the same group of rulers the whole time. How else do you explain the Skywalker dynasty? Or the fact that the Emperor's bodyguard (and rumored personal assassin) later married the New Republics premier jedi?

>>10986217

The hell are you talking about?
"later married"? "New Republic"?
Talk like that's likely to bring the Inquisitorius down on you, buddy.

>>10986215
Thx a bunch, now I can sleep at night
>>10986153
I may or maynot have something in mind, that is if /tg/ wants to bite

>>10986282
I'd bite, so to speak.

if you do have something we'll need a new thread.