dice? fuck it, just use a ball. dont even have sides.

1 Sided dice.

>>10973920

If it lands right-side up, you get to use a character point and damage. If it lands right-side down, you get damaged, lose a character point, etc.

20 dollar bills.

coin flips, coin flips every where...

the lonely d12, of course.

d100's

No dice.

Make shit up on the fly. Argue about it incessantly. Essentially degrading even the most unimportant action into a bitch-fest that would make the lowest of the low rules lawyer weep in shame.

>>10973920
>>10973925
>>10973933
>>10973937
>>10973942
>>10973944
>>10973945

Okay, so our system uses a ball, a 1-sided dice, 20 dollar bills, coin flips, a d12, and a d100.

Excellent.

Now for stats. Come up with as many stats as possible and how they can relate to the game in very obscure ways.

The game is played by inserting dice into your ass. The more you can fit into your ass, the better you succeed.

>>10973972
Fecundity allows you to have more children.

Stats.

BS=Bullshit stat. how much people can believe you.
DB=Douche bag stat. How much people of the chosen sex want to fuck you, while simultaneously pissing off everyone else

>>10973972

Charisma.

No, really. Least used stat of any system it's in.

Acumen.
Power.
Fortitude.
Toughness.
Strength.
Visual.
Oral.
Oder.
Will.
Sight.
Smell.
Taste.
Hearing.
Tactile.
Irony.

Hmm, need to think of more...

>>10973972

A different strength and endurance stat for every single muscle in the body. Simplified rules only use major muscle groups.

>>10973972
make sure there's an attack bonus in there related to how frequently human male characters masturbate. my GM joked about giving my character's intended a +1 to hit because of his highly developed fapping muscle.

Hair length. Grows .1(1d6-1) mm. (minimum .1) per day Roll every day.

Affects your ability to be grabbed by your hair. Longer hair is easier to grab, per DMs discretion.

(Hard mode: doesn't give guidelines, thus infuriating the DM.)

Right Foot:
Left Foot:
Right Leg:
Left Leg:
Torso:
Right Hand:
Left Hand:
Right Arm:
Left Arm:
Head:
(physical stats only, someone else do mental)

>>10974029
Play more WoD and DH.
If you don't do it then you are probably doing it wrong.

>>10973984
also, the ball dice are 1 foot in diameter and randomly shoot steel spikes in all directions.

as for stats:

agility
dexterity
strength
stamina
constitution
intelligence
wisdom
charisma
looks
mental stamina
luck
magic
magic resistance
sanity
anal and other bodily opening circumference

Mental stats:

Obsessiveness
Aversion
Appetite
Hospitality

>>10974037
don't forget about facial hair growth. depending on the race/individual('s charisma) it could make him/her go into negatives.

also fingernails. especially for female characters. also, there's the possibility that unless the character is expressly wearing gloves, an attack could go bad and bend a fingernail back pretty painfully. *shudder*

>>10974034
Yes!
>>10974031
Wit.
Ego.
Id.
Endurance.

Since FATAL uses d1,000s I don't think we can really top it with "crazy dice." It would take advanced algebraic equations for every single thing in the game to make it harder than FATAL, and even then it wouldn't be much worse.

>>10973972
Strength
Dexterity
Constitution
Intelligence
Wisdom
Charisma
Luck
Fate
Destiny
Sanity
Insanity
Unsanity
Heroism
Villainy
Butter
Plains
Islands
Swamps
Mountains
Forests
Spiral
Antispiral
Harmony
Rage
Beard
Faggotry

I could go on.

>>10974031
These are good, but not esoteric enough.

The only playable races are 'Degenerate' and 'Bum'.

And Bum is temporarily on-hold until the developers can figure out how to make it un-broken.

We will need very complex and detailed rules for rape.
Perhaps a supplement is called for?

Stats:

Girth
Density
and...
Magical Aptitude

>>10974127
you mean unhurt?

>>10974116
Don't forget (DNA) Chirality.

>>10973972
Chutzpah/Balls/Dare

This relates to when you're trying to do very ballsy things. If your Balls is too small, then you cannot do brave things.

>>10974023
>>10974028
>>10974029
>>10974037
>>10974081
>>10974054
>>10974056
>>10974081
>>10974086
>>10974091
>>10974100
>>10974116
>>10974155

Our stats are: Fecundity, bullshit, douche bag, charisma, acumen, power, fortitude, toughness, strength, visual, oral, oder, will, sight, smell, taste, hearing, tacticle, irony, hair length, agility, dexterity, strength, stamina, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, charisma, looks, mental stamina, luck, magic, magic resistance, sanity, orifice circumference, obsessiveness, aversion, appetite, hospitality, facial hair growth, fingernails, faggotry, girth, density, magical uptitude, DNA chirality, balls.

Now we need races. These can be from anywhere.

>>10974179
See
>>10974127

We are going the wrong way on stats, we do it like this
Physical: ?/12
Mental: ?/12

50000d100, not averaged.

Digestion

Tells how long it takes for the character to digest food. Also affects orally administered poisons.

>>10974179
Kender.

Spemin

>>10974037
I like this idea. Maybe you could throw in critical growths where your hair grows several inches at the start of the day.

>>10974179
Futanari.

That's right. An entire futa race.

>>10974105
Let's use d1024

tentacle monsters.

Have the players roll intelligence checks every time they want to talk. DC 15+# of words.

>>10974237
A pi sided die would be worse.

>>10974179
Sargel.
The desert sargel like thing.
The penis angels from Bayonetta.
Kender.
More furrys.

>>10974212
I was going to suggest that...

Cthulhu(in the game world there's obviously more than one)
Drow

>>10974179
I like how charisma is in there twice.
Also, you can play as dice. different dice are different subspecies.

Mammal
Reptile
Marsupial
Amphibian
Insect

>>10974244
On a failed check, they have to roll a d% to figure out if they botch the word. The check is based on the number of vowels and consonants other than B, D, P and T.

>>10974179
hawkmen
tiger bots
puma men
pleasure droids

>>10974275
and also, the developer's mary sue race of choice.

Races:
foxmen
catmen
bearmen
lionmen
sharkmen
dogmen
wolfmen
rabbitmen
dolphinmen
dragonborn
lizardfolk
antfolk
spidermen
turtlemen
gatchamen
humans
elfs
those things from Avatar

Whites: +2 to everything
Blacks: -2 to metal stats, +2 to physical
Women: -4 physical stats
Jews: +4 nose, -4 looks
Chinamen: +4 math, -4 physical stats
Arabs: +8 gross hair, -10 intelligence
Mexicans: -4 mental stats, +4 strawberry picking, +4 Jump (fence)

>>10973972
Audacity
Beligerance
Crustiness
Delegation
Evil
Flatulence
Girth
Happiness
Ignorance
Jam
Klingon
Latitude
Morbidity
Nakedness
Observance
Pants
Queenliness
Rupture Threshold
Sumo
Topography
Unbelief
Vrrrrrooooooom!
Wednesday Points
Xtreem
Zedd Vision

We call it the Alphabet system.

Just have about fifty races that all are exactly identical outside of their skin color.

Before you even ask about classes, there should only be two:

Proletarian and Gym teacher.

>>10974301
But describe them in different, obscenely complex ways that eventually add up to the same thing. Like:

A) Has two arms

B) Has a pair of manipulators jutting from the torso

And other such synonymous, yet not directly obvious differences.

>>10974295
>>10974294
>>10974292
>>10974275
>>10974262
>>10974260
>>10974259
>>10974255
>>10974239
>>10974236
>>10974220

Our races are: Whites, blacks, women, jews, chinamen, arabs, mexicans, foxmen, catmen, bearmen, lionmen, sharkmen, dogmen, wolfmen, rabbitmen, dolphinmen, dragonborn, lizardfolk, antfolk, spidermen, turtlemen, gatchamen, humans, elves, those things from avatar, mary sues, hawkmen, tiger bots, puma men, pleasure droids, mammal, reptile, marsupial, amphibian, insect, d4, d6, d8, d10, d12, d20, d100, d1000, cthulhu, drow, kender, furries, penis angels, sargel, tentacle monsters, futanari, spemin, degenerates, bums.

Excellent. Just excellent. Now we need skills.

>>10974298
forgot "y"
as in Youth

Renamons.

>>10974233

Can also spruce up these rules with questionable science and outright bullshit pseudo-science like:

"Hair cut within the past 24 hours instead grows at a rate of .1(3d6) mm per day for the next week."

>>10974349
Strut
Crossword puzzles
Synthesizer usage
Wagon operation
Childcare.

>>10974335
> Before you even ask about classes, there should only be two:

> Proletarian and Gym teacher.

You sir, have my vote ... I Second this!

>>10973972

Hate. The higher your hate, the fewer dollar bills you have.

But you can roll more dice.

The DM keeps the 20 dollar bills for their own personal use.

>>10974179
Races...I have three for proposal.

Ostrich. You can't take levels in anything. Since you can't be trusted to play a creature with animal intelligence, the DM makes all the choices for you. Effectively, he/she has total control of your character. You're a fucking Ostrich.

Dwelf. Half-dwarf, half-elf. Long pointy ears, effeminate body, gigantic beard. All Dwelves are self-loathing. During combat, they must make a Concentration check every round to not get distracted and either cry or hurt themselves for existing.

Cloudfolk. These are available in several subraces, including nimbus and cumulus, each with entirely different stats. They are comprised of water vapor and so live in constant danger of being absorbed or otherwise severely altered. Only method of attack is to condensate on things. Favored class: Bard.

Come on! Nobody has posted the Eoris or some shit character sheet yet?

Breath.
Throw.
Talk.
Yell.
Listen.
Think.
Drink.
Eat.
Cook.
Piss.
Deficate.
Sex.
Cum.
Punch.
Kick.
Chop.
Swing.
Shoot.
Swim.
Walk.
Run.
Sprint.
Aim.
Melee aim.
Play.
Frolic.
Swing. (not to be confused with Swing)

how not to be seen

>>10974421
forgive me

>>10974349
Rope-making, pooping, pissing, breathing, standing, sitting, dancing, boob-jiggling, penis-wibbling, ass-shaking, truck driving, rapping, beatboxing, trolling

>>10974356
I didn't forget about U.
The game is all about U!!

Items and other possessions are listed with points.

For example, a normal horse is listed 10+1/2d12 horse points. If it gets eaten by trolls, you lose 10d1 horse points. If it gets eaten by a dragon (which would eat the bones too), you lose 14d1 horse points (maybe he'll let something slip from his mouth).

Beware if you ever find yourself with a negative horse score.

>>10974349

Perform Sexual Act: (Fill in the Blank)

skills:
Bake (pie)
Bake (cake)
Bake (cupcake)
Bake (other)
Break dance
Heavy Armour
Penmanship
Oratory
Quantitative Analysis
Sort (small parts)

>>10974295
that sounds like an awesome system. whites need more though. probably a +4 to everything.

facepalming

You know what?
EVERY. SINGLE. MEASUREMENT. SHOULD. HAVE. TO. BE. ROLLED. FOR.

This includes EAR SHAPE, NOSE LENGTH, BIG TOE WIDTH, SEXUAL ABILITY, AND VARIOUS OTHER SKILLS AND MEASUREMENTS.

Skill:

non verbal communication

>>10974486
Hmm... I don't know.
Maybe +5 on half the stats and +3 on the rest?
And then +4 to all skills.

>>10974437
this can't be real
just...
just what the fuck

kissing, cunnilingus, fellatio, anal rimming, fisting, BDSM, rape (anal, vaginal, oral), Knowledge (Anatomy, Art, History, Music, Nobility, Obscure, Occult, Poetry, Vocabulary), Craft (Idols, sex toys, miniatures, plush dolls, Real Dolls), Profession (prostitute, street prophet, street vendor, flagellate, pick pocket, tramp, pimp, hustler, fortune teller, librarian, dentist, confidence artist)

>>10974515
It is.
Don't ask me what the fuck it is for.
But it exists.

I PUT ALL MY STRENGTH AND STAMINA INTO MY LEFT FOOT!

>>10974437
I would love to see the rulebook to make a character with this.

>>10974528

Ladies and gentlemen, our first power gamer.

Skills...

"Make Believe with You"
Can only use this skill if another party member has the exact same total score in it as you do. Using this skill has the chance of permanently altering reality. You must both roll 1d100. If the result of your rolls is equivalent, you succeed.

Stats and skills should overlap inexplicably.

Like, Strength being a stat, and musclyness being a skill.

Because we can't be confusing enough.

How attacking works (regarding melee attacks)

To attack someone, first a player must roll to attack (to see if the attack hits)

Then he must roll where the attack lands (if the player lands a blow)
after that the player must roll to see if the attack penetrates any protective gear (armor, shields, magic def and stuff)

After that the player rolls for damage dealt (if the player managed to penetrate the enemies armor)
after that he rolls to if the player does shock, internal or lethal damage.

after that the player must roll to se if the weapon used to attack has been damaged (higher chance against better armor)

Lastly the player rolls to see if the opponents armor has been permanently damaged by the attack ( blunt weapons offer higher chance to damage armor )

>>10974547
hahahaha. i should be writing, but this thread makes me lawl.

>>10974515
Ah Eoris, the only TT RPG that also manages to be vaporware...

>>10974516
>>10974505
>>10974493
>>10974485
>>10974450
>>10974423
>>10974370

Our skills are: Kissing, cunnilingus, fellatio, anal rimming, fisting, BDSM, rape (anal, vaginal, oral), Knowledge (Anatomy, Art, History, Music, Nobility, Obscure, Occult, Poetry, Vocabulary), Craft (Idols, sex toys, miniatures, plush dolls, Real Dolls), Profession (prostitute, street prophet, street vendor, flagellate, pick pocket, tramp, pimp, hustler, fortune teller, librarian, dentist, confidence artist), non-verbal communication, facepalming, bake (pie, cake, cupcake, other), break dance, heavy armor, penmanship, oratory, quantitative analysis, sort (small parts), rope-making, pooping, pissing, breathing, standing, sitting, dancing, boob-jiggling, penis-wibbling, ass-shaking, truck driving, rapping, beatboxing, trolling, breath, throw, talk, yell, listen, think, drink, eat, cook, piss, defecate, sex, cum, punch, kick, chop, swing, shoot, swim, walk, run, sprint, aim, melee aim, play, frolic, swing, strut, crossword puzzles, synthesizer usage, wagon operation, childcare.

Fantastic! Now we need classes.

Our system is quickly surpassing FATAL on the shittiness chart.

Oh, that should be a skill: Shittiness

>>10974563

You missed the step where the defender attempts to parry...

But apart from that, this is a very complete system. Utterly horrible for a P&P RPG, but not a bad starting point for a CRPG.

>>10974563
Honestly, I considered all this as houserules for 3.5.

Never got past hit location rolls, though.

>>10974595
See
>>10974335

Buzzer system, who ever hits a buzzer first gets to act first.

>>10974349
All skills MUST HAVE SPECIFIC SUBSETS!!
EG
Science (Religious)
Science (Bill Nigh)
Science (Dawkinsism)
You may attempt a tangentially related Science roll at minus -X where X is the factor of differenetial.
For example, rolling in Science (Dawkinsism) is tangentially related to Science (Religious). The GAMELORD has defined the factor of differential to be Obtuse, D12-Obtuse, you roll a 6 and thus recieve a partial success. ONLY 12 MORE TO GO!!

more skills -- bleeding, horseback riding, animal husbandry, tv/vcr repair, dentistry, drinking, taste, sensitivity, sight, kindness to animals, profession (none), shoe toss, insightfulness, parkour, spell girding

>>10974595

Loser
Gamer
Terrorist
Dictator
Prostitute
Pimp
Sharker
Interior Decorator
Repairman
Serial Killer
Rapist

Classes:

Nigger
Sand Nigger
Ice Nigger
Lava Nigger
Island Nigger
Sea Nigger
Space Nigger
Plains Nigger
Grass Nigger
Tree Nigger
Rock Nigger
Water Nigger
Iridium Nigger
Boron Nigger
Quasar Nigger

That's too easy.

You should have to figure out the derivative of the combatants speed in order to figure out who goes first

>>10974528

>>10974654

BISMUTH NIGGER

>>10974437
WTF is that?
This thread is epic

as stated before:
>>10974335

>Proletarian and Gym teacher.

neckbeard

i think the system should be classless

>>10974595
"That Guy"

Congratulations, you're 'that guy.' The guy everyone hates because he has everything. The guy who double dips. The guy who everyone talks about but can't ever remember the name of. Whatever the reason, you are 'that guy.' You are automatically the preferred target of any enemies you encounter. For that matter, everyone is your enemy. Good thing you're immune to combat damage. Your only form of communication is awesomeface, trollface, and lol-ing. The DM is likely to throw you into the sun.

>>10974595
villian, mary sue, confused most likely gay protagonist, butch lesbian, lipstick lesbian, asspie anti-hero

I think we should make it so that armor reduces your skills. Including your defensive skills.
This will encourage people to use as little clothing as possible.

>>10974700

Limpwrist Faggot
Faggot
Trap
Reverse trap

>>10974654

>>10974335
>>10974639
>>10974663
>>10974677
>>10974679
>>10974696
>>10974700
>>10974721

Our classes are: Proletarian, gym teacher, loser, gamer, terrorist, dictator, prostitute, pimp, sharker, interior decorator, repairman, serial killer, rapist, bismuth niggers, neckbeard, classless, "that guy", villain, mary sue, confused most likely gay protagonist, butch lesbian, lipstick lesbian, asspie anti-hero, limpwrist faggot, faggot, trap, reverse trap.

Epic! Now we need types of weapons and armor.

Have added the suggestion, nice one =)

How attacking works (regarding melee attacks)

To attack someone, first a player must roll to attack (to see if the attack hits)

Then he must roll where the attack lands (if the player lands a blow)

Now the opponent rolls a die to see if he can either parry or avoid the attack

after that the player must roll to see if the attack penetrates any protective gear (armor, shields, magic def and stuff) as long as the attack wasn't either avoided or parried

(if the attack is parried both roll a die to see damage dealt to each others weapons)

(if the attack is dodged, the player must roll a die to see if he drops his weapon or not, if he drops it then he rolls a die first to see what direction the weapon is thrown at and then how far it is throw, if any creature is in the path the player rolls a die to see if the creature gets hit by the flying weapon)

After that the player rolls for damage dealt (if the player managed to penetrate the enemies armor)
after that he rolls to if the player does shock, internal or lethal damage.

after that the player must roll to se if the weapon used to attack has been damaged (higher chance against better armor)

the player rolls to see if the opponents armor has been permanently damaged by the attack ( blunt weapons offer higher chance to damage armor )

Finally the player rolls a die to see if the attack receives any bonus effect

Rending
Cleave
crushing blow
dismemberment
castration
retardation
change alignment
change race
change sex
change height (mostly resembling another form if dismemberment)
reduce base stats
reduce skill stats

>>10974751
Armor:

Coif
Wife-beater
Towershield
Bell-bottomed pants
Home-knit cap
Blue jeans
Maid outfit

Peeping Tom
Mascot
Bobby Fisher
Quaker Oats Enthustiast
Jizz Mopper
Weiner mobile driver
Tailor to the incredible hulk
Rugby Hooligan

Dice: >>10973972
Stats: >>10974179
Races: >>10974349
Skills: >>10974595
Races: >>10974751

We need weapons and armor now guys.

By the way, does anyone mind making a Wikia or a Googlesites for this? I could do it if nobody else wants to.

>>10974751
unarmed attack - jagged fingernails: 1d12/3 damage, 80% miss chance

>>10974632
Successes in skills.
Having recieved your first success, you have achieved a partial success, the first third of a semi partial success. Having achieved four semi partial successes, you have the true chance to succeed. At this point, based on the total rolled - minus any differentials of course - creates a Yeager number on a D100. depending on how much lower than this target you roll, you gain varying degrees of success.
Continuing our example,
the Science Player rolls a 12, 4, 6, 7.5, 3, 9, 1, 8, 4, 5, 6 and 6. Minus 12 Obtuse, this comes to 78.
Rolling his d100, he gains an 88 and is thus eaten by a grue. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME!!

Our system should be called DURPS.

"Disorganized and Unorthodox Role Playing System."

Maybe someone should read FATAL to see if this new game is actually worse.

*Hint* it's not even close.

Except maybe this guy who has the right idea.

>>10974455

>>10974751
Weapons: Anything you can pick up. I mean, really, if you can swing it, jab with it, or throw it, it's a weapon. Weight-based damage, using ounces.

Armor: Whatever you can wear. No Armor Class. It's all Damage Reduction. Any damage that would have been dealt to you that instead is absorbed by the armor deals damage to the armor and may destroy it.

I'm predicting a PC wielding a pneumatic laser golf club and wearing a suit made of raw fish.

>>10974298
Forget the previously determined stats, this guy has the right idea.

Sharkskin condom
Championship belt of true seeing
Goggles of blinding
8track armor plating
Circus Peanut cock sheath

>>10974810

I like it. The acronym fits, not to mention, of course, 'durp'.

Peanut Butter Armour

In the case of a decimal being rolled (after modifiers), only take the first 4 decimal places.

Its very important that skills and probabilities be represented in a way that does not correlate to real life very well.

like, on the earlier mentioned bent fingernail risk, as soon as your fingernails are over say 2mm long it should happen ALL THE TIME. at 4mm, it should start happening when you're just trying to talk to people.

armor effectiveness should be based on density.

The denser the material, the better the armor.

Skin should be considered armor, but provide no armor bonus, just to obsfucate combat.

>>10974897
hair should also attack people, too, just randomly. like if a guy rolls a beard that's longer than 6 inches it has the possibility of strangling him, or an adjacent character at least 3 times per day, with a 2 percent probability. but if it gets longer than 8 inches, he has to contend with it getting stuck in armor, or caught in his mouth while he's trying to eat and causing him to become nauseated, fatigued, etc.

also, armor should work like moh's scale of hardness.

If your armor is harder than their weapon, you are invincible.badguys all have terrible weapons and excellent armor. So fights last forever.

Victory is decided whether you manage more eyepokes than they do.

weapon: fish cannon + fishgun

I fucking love you guys

>>10974963
Combat should be extended long enough to give infections due to wounds a role in the fight.

How to attack with ranged weapons (everything that either shoots something or is thrown counts as ranged)

First the player must roll to determine distance to the enemy

Then the player must roll twice, first to determine wind speed and then wind direction

then the player must roll to determine both how air resistance and gravity will effect the attack.

The player must now roll to see how far he can accurately aim at the enemy

The player now rolls to see if there are any good spots to land an attack on (if not then the attack is considered a failure)

now the player rolls to either put tension on any bow weapon, aim with any other missile weapon or throw any throwing weapon or to ready any fire arms to be fired

the player now rolls to see if the enemy has been hit, then the enemy can roll to either parry or dodge the attack.

Now the player rolls to see if the attack penetrates any armor, if the attack has any bonus damage (bonus damage similar to melee bonus damage), if the attack receives other bonuses (similar to melee system), to see if opponents armor has been damaged, own weapon has been damaged and if the fired projectile can be recovered.

>>10975022
begs the question how healing magics, if any, will work. characters could die if others do not have a tube of neosporin or any knowledge of medical practices, at all.

Hey everyone! OP here yet again.

Here is the DURPS Wiki: http://durps.wikia.com/wiki/DURPS_Wiki

EDIT IT.

Anywho:
>>10974965
>>10974963
>>10974962
>>10974953
>>10974858
>>10974837
>>10974819
>>10974796

Weapons and armor: fish cannon, fishgun, hair, skin, peanut butter, sharkskin condom, championship belt of true seeing, goggles of blinding, 8track armor plating, circus peanut cock sheath, pneumatic laser golf club, suit of raw fish, fingernails.

Talking to people:

Roll for each word to see if you studder.

Then to see if you suddenly forget what you're talking about.

Then to see if you're heard by the person you're talking to.

Then to see if the person understands what you say.

Then to see if any other people heard you, once for every person.

Then once for every person to see if they understand you.

Then once for every person to see if they care.

Hm... this game lacks original mechanics.

Something like rolling hexadecimal dice : if you roll a number, use the standard result modifed by the number, if you roll a letter, convert in decimal, then report to the table appropriate to the action. To each letter correspond a list of words (which start with the letter) that you must use to describe your action. Pick as many as the numerical value of the roll. Then reroll to see if the action is a success - if you roll a letter again, start over in the first rank critical list of words then reroll - if you roll a letter again, use the second rank critical list, and so on.

>>10974812
>>10974833
>>10974897
needs to be more extremely fucktarded like in these examples

guys...

i think we just back-handedly invented the most flawless system yet

>>10974455

>>10975060

GREAT

>>10975062
It can be combined with >>10974298

THIS IS OUR WIKI

http://durps.wikia.com/wiki/DURPS_Wiki

EDIT IT

Walking:

1-Roll to see which foot you pick up first.

2-Roll to see if you successfully pick the foot up.

3-Roll to see how far you extend the foot ahead of you

4-roll to see if you successfully put your foot down correctly

5-roll to see if you can successfully manage to shift your weight from one foot to the next.

Damage will be decided by how many dice you can fit in one nostril

for every roll: 1d10, 1d4, 1d6, 1d8
the 1d10 gives them the a value, the 1d4 b, 1d6 will decide if plus or minus (1-3 minus, 4-6 plus), and the 1d8 gives them c value. they take these values and plug them into this equation:
(a)x^(b) +/- (c)x^(b-c)

they then have to take the differential of this equation, and plug in their appropriate skill or ability modifier for x to find the result

Craft: Underwater Basket Weaving is a required skill for every class.

Audacity - 6 Quatrains
Beligerance - Abundant (Rapid)
Crustiness - Baked Smeg
Delegation - 20 Bucks (Passage Mastery)
Evil - 4812 Demi-Hitlers
Flatulence - 70 Decibels
Girth - Satsumerate
Happiness - Prozactoid
Ignorance - 9
Jam - Strawberry
Klingon - Broken (Fluent)
Latitude - Vertical
Morbidity - Vecna
Nakedness - Subtle
Observance - Sundays
Pants - British (Under)
Queenliness - Mercurial
Rupture Threshold - 40 Quasms
Sumo - 67
Topography - Interstellar
Unbelief - Chaste
Vrrrrrooooooom! - 9001
Wednesday Points - Vagrant 12
Xtreem - Double Nose End Grind
Zedd Vision - Red
(Y could be create your own stat, I choose; Yarrick)
YARRICK: 6 Grots

along time ago i heard about a d1000's, someone heard of it or i just get trolled that time?

Well, that was ... pretty awsome!

Thanks OP, that was a great evenings entertainment.

>>10975060
Diplomacy:

Roll all of talking

Roll to see if the person can relate to what you say

Roll to see if the person likes what you said

Roll to see if the person was ordered to do what you say

Roll to see if the person has any psychological disorders

If so, roll to see how many

Roll to see how severe each one is

Roll to see if he can be reasoned through them

Roll to see if the person suddenly forgets what you're talking about

as long as no yews players are playing its ok, they would have a massive racial bonus

wanted to comment on the damage system, forgot link thing

You now realize that this is the day /tg/ made FATAL.

Upon realizing this, we go back in time, pick a picture of some douchebag off the Internet, make up the name Byron Hall, and register fatalgames.com.

Think about it.

>>10975054
You're aware /tg/ has its own dedicated wiki, right?

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Main_Page

>>10974563
All of those checks are also opposed.

>>10975191
Psychological disorders:

Racism
Dissociative identity disorder
bipolar disorder
obsessive-compulsive disorder
egoism
depression
elitism
furry
autism
aspergic
dependancy

(more can be added)

>>10975228
You actually think this doesn't deserve it's own?

>>10975191
You're forgetting the checks for if the person has any racial (or other) prejudices against you.

Then several id checks in case you are givng off subtle clues which are picked up subconciously.

>>10975228
>>10975263

Why don't we add DURPS to the /tg/ wiki too?

How would magic work?

There should be several kinds of magic, all of which use different systems and thus there is no universal model of it. Many magics require the use of several stats and skills, most unrelated.

Spells with a material component require that you haggle the price down, thus not obtaining the correct worth of materials, requiring you to buy more.

Opening a door:

Roll to see if you can successfully manage to raise your hand

Roll to see if you successfully manage to level your hand to the doorknob vertically

Roll to see if you successfully manage to level your hand to the doorknob horizontally

Roll to see if you successfully manage to use your sense of depth

Roll to see if you successfully manage to bring the hand to the doorknob

Roll for each finger to see if you successfully grab the doorknob

Roll to see if you successfully manage to turn the doorknob

Roll to see if yu don't break a fingernail

Roll to see how heavy the door is

Roll to see what material the door is made out of

Roll to see how rusty the hinge to the door is

Roll to see if you successfully manage to use your strength to push the door.

Roll to see if you can successfully manage to release the doorknob.

>>10975332
Also, spells work differently depending on several factors: time, location, what was the caster's last meal, did he/she enjoy it, the direction the caster is facing, the direction the spell is cast, what was the caster's childhood like...

The money system should be based only on prime numbers.

7 copper pieces make a silver piece, 31 silvers make a gold, and 19 golds make a bismuth piece. Regional variation from this system is common and DMs should be encouraged to enforce the players' use of local terms.

>>10975429
Wind direction, wind strength, opponent magical protection, caster momentum, caster momentum speed...

fire people. all they do is get spawned out of a giant fire portal, catch on fire, then die screaming in agony. the portals spawn randomly everywhere, including the entire sky which causes burning screaming people rain.
sergals.
reverse mermaid.
children, an entire race consisting of psychically spawned always chaotic evil children.
cthulu, thousands of them.
dicks
asses
pterodactyls
foot people
slugs
ants, normal ants
BEES

>>10974437
nnnnnnnnnnnnnghhhhhhhAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH IT BURNS. jesus tap-dancing monkey christ on fire that is terrible.

Finding someone in a crowd:

Roll to see if you need glasses
Roll to see if you are wearing glasses
Roll to see if there's a glare in your glasses
Roll to see if your glasses are dirty
Roll to see how dirty your glasses are
Roll to see where your glasses are dirty
Roll to see if your glasses are broken
Roll to see how broken your glasses are
Roll to see where your glasses are broken
Roll to see how far your glasses are slid down on your nose
Roll a spot check for the hair color
Roll a spot check for hairstyle
Roll a spot check for eye color
Roll a spot check for nose shape
Roll a spot check for mouth shape
Roll a spot check for mouth color
Roll a spot check for shirt color
Roll a spot check for pants color

The spot checks are for each individual person.

>>10974897
To be fair, this seems pretty reasonable.

PC: "I'll ask for a mug of ale from the bartender."
<15 minutes of conversation rolls>
GL: "Ok, you move your hand to point to the ale and snag your fingernail on your clothes. It does 1 Hitpoint: Annoyance/Distraction damage."
PC: "Oh... that pushes me past the 2nd Psychological Barrier."

Total Party Wipe.

>>10975670
Stuff you'd need to roll:
Talking
Spot Check
Diplomacy
Strength Check
Personality Check
Knowledge Check
Psychological Disorder Check

Okay, so you attack the mook wearing the glass kevlar armor with your laser guided golf club.

Roll d100, okay 78, good roll. Add your stuff to it, 93, cool.

Ok, so you've got an attack pool of 93.
Flip a coin on aim, oh, bad aim, okay, subract their dodginess.
Okay, so 76 is left. You probably don't want to do pointiness damage, but thud damage since you're usinga golfclub. What's your club made of? Chalk? Ok, so chalk isn't harder than glass, so your thud will only hit for half.

Oh, wait, golfclub is a wide arc weapon, and you rolled over 90 modified, that means you can try for a type 4 critical.

Okay, so play rock paper scissors with steve, and I'll get the tomato

>>10975759
The tomato is not ripe.

Total party wipe.

I'm loving this system way too much

Hybrid still has us all beat by a huge margin.

"RULE # 180: USE THE MU CHARACTER SANDMAN @ RATING # 2 @ 22 C2 DP, THAT HE USING OR/& HAVING ACCESS TO USE 2 FREE ENERGY EQUATION[S], TO FIGURE OUT HOW HIS C# IS USED, IN VERSION # 0.4, THAT HE WOULD NEED TO BE @ RATING # 3, IF HE HAS ACCESS TO ONLY ONE FREE ENERGY EQUATION, RATHER THAN TO 2 FREE ENERGY EQUATIONS, IN VERSION # 0.3, ELSE @ RATING # 4, IF HE HAS ACCESS TO NO OR ZERO OR NONE OF THE 2 [TWO] FREE ENERGY EQUATIONS, IN VERSION # 0.2., WHERE A MODIFIER [-1] IS NEEDED TO CONVERT [INT] TO MUTANT POWER[S], THAT WITHOUT THE OR THIS [-1] MODIFIER IN VERSION 0.1, THAT HE OR THE MU SANDMAN WOULD NEED TO BE @ RATING # 4.5 IN VERSION 0.1 OF MY RPG: NOTE THAT WHATEVER C# THAT IS GIVEN TO THE MU SANDMAN, THAT A SLIGHTLY HIGHER C# IS GIVEN TO MU CHARACTER ABSORBING MAN, THAT IN VERSION 0.1, THAT IF THE MU ABSORBING MAN BE @ 81 C2 DP, THEN SANDMAN BE @ 64 C2 DP, PARTLY BECAUSE THERE BE MANY STORIES IN MU ABOUT THIS CHARACTER & BECAUSE OF HIS ABILITY TO GROW, THAT WITHOUT THESE 2 ATTRIBUTES, HIS C# WOULD BE REDUCED TO 36 C2 DP IN VERSION 0.1, IS 2X OR DOUBLE THE C# THAT OF THE MU CHARACTER GHOST RIDER @ 3D6 OR 18 C2 DP, ALTHOUGH THE CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE VERSION SEEM TO BE @ SLIGHTLY HIGHER C# @ # OF EXTRA C# POINTS EQUAL TO # OF SUPER-VILLAINS THAT HE IS ABLE TO DEFEAT, PLACING HIM OR GHOST RIDER @ RATING # 2 @ 22 C2 DP, IN VERSION 0.4 OF MY TRI-STAT RPG. ..."

Is anybody going to archive this?

>>10975884

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/10973904/

By "roll" they mean that you have to roll the spherical die down a specially designed chute.

>>10976319
And then you have to close your eyes and grab a bill out of a bowl full of bills. You add the amount of money on the bill to whatever the sphere shows. If the sphere rolls at all, your roll changes to that number.

>>10976348
And the bowl has to be made out of balsa wood. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Eating rules:

You must eat every five hours or take hunger penalties.

Roll to see if the food has been cooked properly.
Roll to see if the food is ripe.
Roll to see if the food is moldy.
Roll to see if the food is edible.

If any of these rolls fail, you are poisoned.

When eating, roll to see if you are able to open your mouth or if you have lockjaw.
Roll to see if you can co-ordinate your jaw.
Roll to see if you swallow your tongue.
Roll to see if you choke. (if you do this, you will take continuous damage until the piece of food is removed)

every step you take roll 10 d6 for for each of your toes, your ankle, your knee and your hip for how much experience they gain

>>10976383
Roll to see if you accidentally ate something that isn't food.

I love you /tg/, never change.

Every time the rules are unclear, run a side game of FATAL to settle the argument. The last person still playing wins.

You have to continuously roll every five minutes to check whether or not you are having a heart attack. Your odds of having one increase after/during eating, after/during times of high stress, and after/during combat.

Is the OP still around?

>>10976398
>>10976398
>>10976398
>>10976398

THIS!

roll one d20 every 30 seconds to see what random event happens. events are not limited to:
choking to death
getting a disease
spontaneous combustion
death
mexicans people steal your stuff
black people stab you
you get amnesia
clown murder you
you have an anurism
your heart stops
you have a stroke
you forget everything you know
you vomit and choke to death on your vomit
jews cheat you out of your money
you lose control of your bowels
you suddenly speak spanish
you change genders

>>10976523
You have to level up each of your muscles individually.

>>10976543
This is an AWESOME idea.

>>10976561
especially if each player is a group of muscles on one or more individuals, maybe you're all just muscle groups on the same dude.

Sex appeal needs to be a stat, Office Supplies salesman a class, Oppressed Tibetan a race and Lore of Funny Smells a group of spells

every time you talk you talk you talk you have to roll for the volume if it is over 150 db will cause you to lose your hearing permanently

>>10976561
Every party must have at least one med student or a copy of Gray's Anatomy. The amount of work it takes to level up a muscle is determined by an algorithm that takes into account:

The size of the muscle
The amount of strain being put on the muscle
The current level of the muscle
The frequency of level-ups of the muscle

>>10976612
No other anatomy textbooks are allowed by the rules.

>>10976612
You can only level up your strength stat after having levelled every single muscle in your body once.

masurbation is a stat, if you fail a roll you lose your penis

The entire thing is an ero rpg.

If you critically fail your penis detaches itself from your body, grows arms and legs and proceeds to try to strangle you.

>>10976512

Yep, still reading. I love you guys.

Don't forget to contribute to the DURPS wikia! The link is somewhere up there. I'll also make a post on 1d4chan later.

Each players mechanics should function in a different and arbitrary way, making interaction with each other, or with the same object very difficult.

One person attacks a targets physical stats by rolling, another attacks their mental stat by a game of one upmanship, and someone else attacks their magic in some sort of poker style game, no common mechanics.

if your enemies have lower than one 6th of their health their level triples

damage while wearing armor
for chainmail and/or plate you must roll for every single link: how much of the link is damaged, if the link is broken, if the link will fall off, how slippery the surface is, how much force hits the wearer, if the sword will be damaged when it hits the armor, how much of the sword will be damaged, if the sword will break, the structural integrity of the plates, the quality of the material, the level of oxidizaion on the surface of the armor, how slippery the surface is, if the sword hits bewteen the plates and how much of the surface has been taken off of the part that was hit

>>10977217
These are all rolled, but for the sake of keeping the game moving, are not recorded, and do not factor into play at all.

However they MUST be rolled, failure to roll is a -5 penalty on all traits with 2 or more vowels.

Available number of hands: 1
Maximum number of hands: 2

Equip Sword: -1 available hand +1 sword equipment trait
Unequip sword: +1 available hand -1 sword equipment trait.

Sword equipment trait allows several actions, including sever hand.
Target gains minus one available hand, and minus one maximum hands This cannot reduce the number of available hands or maximum hands below zero.

This ability cannot be used to target oneself if one does not have two or more maximum hands.


Inexplicably, a loss of necessary hands does not result in a loss of equipped items. Through use of this loophole with the hospital "hand recovery" option you can equip much more equipment than you have hands without risking the "too many hands" flaw.

Most adventurers wield 9-12 swords in a single hand slot.

All items that have not been fully statted on an item statting sheet are considered non existant for the purposes of game mechanics.

In other words, non-statted walls do not interfere with ranged fire, or combat movement.

Also, there are two sets of rules "risky time" when failure is possible and "narrative time" when the story is being told, during narrative time, everything that is said to happen, happens as it is said, during risky time, it isn't.

We need to determine rules for sleeping.

I propose that every 5 minutes a 'bad dream' check is made to determine in a character has a bad dream. If so, a d100 must be rolled and the result subtracted from the character's will stat to determine the extent of unease created by the bad dream (with effects ranging from momentary panic to death by heart attack).

Players have to develop a backstory for their characters, and any character with a backstory of less than 500 words receives the 'bland' trait and automatically fails and attempts at communication.

Every round, you actually lose a tiny amount of XP to represent your character aging and (very) slowly becoming senile.

>>10977521
This amount is multiplied by their age, so that aging is accelerated as they age.

>>10977521
X= ((Insanity/2 * age * number of rounds in combat)^0.5 )/ Intelligence.

>>10976779
And two players need to play the hell for leather game where you build a tower from 1d6 die but using 1d4s.
One succeeds if he builds high, the other if it's pretty.

Equipment worn in the wrong slot is only 50% effective.

This can result in people wearing a pair of pants in every slot due to the ease of acquiring additional pants.

Pants hat, pants glasses, pants scarf, pants necklace, pants shirt, pants arm warmers, pants gloves, pants pants, pants leg warmers, pants boots, pants socks.

Pantstheon.

>>10977578
>>10977521
You can lower this ammount with a % based on the lunar phase with the help of a magic ritual though.
You still age as fast but you can train faster.

The problem is your character needs to have scars and the rules for scars are as follows.
"1d75."
That's all of it.

Inter-species relationships suffer a -100 x (% difference in genotype between the two species) on their Romance score.

>>10974179
double halfling its a full size person (since 2 halfs equal a whole) with all of the racial disadvantages of both humans and halfings with none of the advantages.

>>10977578

There has to be a weird side-effect of the rules where a couple of bad rolls will actually make your character age several years in one round. And then you must calculate how much XP he loses, since the rules assume that aging = time passing. It's a time paradox, spiral of suffering and endless nightmare of rules all in one.

>>10977618
ISeeWhatYouDidThere.jpg

>>10977733
Aging checks are made every round, with the check increasing in difficulty every 2.3 rounds. On a failed check the character ages a number of years equal to the week of their birth as recorded by the Julian calendar.

>>10977733
It can be tied into muscular damage.
So if you lose a hand in combat and roll high on the age roll that round you will age.
Strength in every muscle ^2 plus the roll needed which is divided by 1d100 /356.25*24*360.

This will be the bestworst game in all of existence! I'm proud of you, /tg/

Please tell me some one is archiving this, or at least putting it on 1d4chan...

>>10977982
We've got our OWN wiki, boy.

http://durps.wikia.com/wiki/DURPS_Wiki

>>10977866

I'm too tired to work out the crunch, but there has to be a chance that the XP you lose by aging will take away the exp you gained by using muscles in some rounds, and in other rounds vice versa. Which makes most of the rolls completely pointless, and ensures that it's nearly impossible to progress.

Katanas, Scythes and genitals are the best weapons in the entire game.

Wow, it's like I'm really playing GURPS.

>>10977342

Oh my god, we've created a monster...

Any body of water grants an armour bonus against missile weapons. No matter the volume. So nobody ever washes themselves, instead using their own sweat as armour.

Stats at character creation will be calculated through an incredibly complex series of genealogical trees leading up to the birth of the PC. Days' worth of work will be required to actually roll up a new character, ensuring that no-one allows their character to die.

>>10973904
Loads of D7

Characters can die during character generation.

>>10978633
Characters USUALLY die during character creation.
With >>10978554
in place it's almost guaranteed. Do you have any idea of the odds of YOU being born?
That's how unlikely it is to get a character at all. Not to mention a character you like.

>>10978633
Characters can also die in between gaming sessions, discouraging players from taking a break.

>>10978362
wait...they behave like 90% of 4chan?

>>10978723
Indeed. And the time not spent playing is considered for the character to be asleep. So that you finish a session at a safe location.
If you have to leave in the middle of a fight your character will collapse in the middle of a fight.

>>10978767
Too much time between sessions leads to starvation and death.

>>10978798
One third of the first session should be spent on eating eating food and drinking water to recuperate from the week spent not eating or drinking anything.

>>10978767

Also characters will suffer a loss of <days spent sleeping>d10 muscle-levels, witch have to be rolled speratly for every muscle, caused by athorpy of muscles

>>10978876
bad luck can result in a limb shriveling up and simply falling off -1 maximum hands, -1 available hands.

or even all limbs.

i think there should be simplified rules also, which only use d6. but to use these rules you have to calculate formulas to make every dice roll executable by using d6 only.

Has anyone found a way to make food rules overly complicated?

Roll your Eat Food skill; get under it, you remain overfed until you pass a Digestion check (the inverse of your Eat Food skill rating). Roll over your Eat Food skill rating and you have to re-roll twice, keeping the results, adding them together after increasing their individual ratings by +1 per round spent eating. Any excess over your Food Requirement Rating based off of your Exertion Status results in Digestion Fumble Chart rolls for every point you missed by.

Not even FATAL could make you botch eating breakfast.

yeah No.10976383

Hitpoints? What a joke! Such a broad concept is a terrible idea.

Hitpoints are into subcategories as follows:

Physical.
Skeletal:
Skull, (d5+CON Modifier - (Age/10) HP, (d3+2)/2 Synergy with Total Body: Physical, Total Body: Emotional, Total Body: Mental, Total Body: Spiritual. (d4+4)/3 Synergy with Hand (Right), Hand (Left), Foot (Right), Foot (Left).

Your Hitpoints are divided into values known as Barriers. When your Hitpoints are reduced to the particular barrier's value then add the corresponding effect or modifier.

Physical - Skeletal (Skull):
1st Barrier. 7/9 of (Total PhysicalSkeletal(Skull) value + d3 - Age/50+d25)
- Hand (Right), Hand (Left) suffer an additional -(1 + d2 - Weapon Improvisation Skill/4).
- Roll for Critical Effect on the Facial Features Table (1st Barrier), Character Perception Table (1st Barrier) and the Mental Constitution Table (1st Barrier)

Note: Age/50+d25 is the value for humans, as the average life expectancy is 75 years. ((75 / 3) *2) + d(75 / 3). Obviously, Fishfolk would use their race's average life expectancy.

Oh god. That was the 1st Barrier. There should be at least 5 Barriers.

Then:
Muscular
Fatigue
...

For:
Neck, Chest, Upper Arm (Right), Upper Arm (Left), Lower Arm (Right), Lower Arm (Left), Hand (Right), Hand (Left), Abdomen, Groin, Back, Upper Leg (Right), Upper Leg (Left), Lower Leg (Right), Lower Leg (Left), Foot (Left), Foot (Right).

Then Main Hit Point Categories which then get divided into further sub categories:
Mental:
Emotional:
Luck:

The only gender available is Spivak unless you want to choose the race "women".

And while we're one-upping FATAL, the only magic armours available are not racist ones but ones that give you uncontrollable urges to do things like paedophilia, turning your butt inside out, sticking shards of glass in your penis, etc.

>>10981284
Which requires the purchase of the splatbook "Womens: the Thickening", and an eighteen dollar e-book addition or it is more unplayable.

Also: this game lacks Moosemen. Needs Moosemen.
Where are they from? Moosemenistansylvania..

>>10981311
Pretty sure that's canonical for FATAL, actually.

>>10981335
Nah, it just encourages you to do fucked up things. It's not a requirement.

Also, all penises are hemispherical unless you get a buff.

>>10981391
Roll for your circumcision scarification.

There are no men in the entire game, just Spivak and then the race "women".

Spivak have sorta-penises, though. They're just hemispherical.

ITT: Dwarf Fortress PnP version.

D4

>>10981424

I think you have confused the terms "Worst" and "Best". See, they're actually opposites. Tough, I know.

There is already a game that does this, it's called Hybrid RPG.

Craft and Profession (Everything under the sun)

Because you never know when you need Craft(Candlestickmaking) or Profession (Phrenologist)

Also Completely obscure knowledge checks, that will never come up.

Knowledge (Continental Drift) and Knowledge (Assyrian Pottery Making) are a couple suggestions.

"The King demands authentic Assyrian-style pottery!"

"You assholes all laughed when I took the skill, well who's laughing NOW jerks?"