BROFIST MORE BROS

rolled 81 = 81

BRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOO FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST

TELL OUR MAIN MAN SAMPSON THAT WE NEED TO MAKE THE BIGGEST BROFIST EVER

LIKE A -MAN-

>>10524445
Can we go down the waterslide, p'rhaps?

I lol'd so hard my chest hurts, fuck.

>>10524460
>FIST MORE BROS
Fixed that for you

DEVELOP THE ABILITY TO BROFIST LIKE THE NORTH STAR.
RUN INTO A CROWD.
BROFIST EVERYONE.

>>10524460
A little bald man in a red robe appears. "Sorry, you already won MAN QUEST. We're going back to MAID QUEST now. Thank you for playing MAN QUEST!"

Last we left off, we were in the middle of some conversation in line for the water slide. I dunno. Thread got kinda sidetracked.

BUILD ANOTHER HOUSE OUT OF PUNCHES

CAPS LOCK DENOTES MANLINESS

please no more man quest

>>10524474
As stated before, the waterslide initiative has my full backing.

Did we get EXP for beating MAN QUEST?

TIME TO WIN MAN QUEST TWICE

TWICE

LIKE A MAN

>>10524481
WE DEMAND MORE MAN QUEST

question for Goshujin-Sama! According to Deuteronomy 22, 28-29 if we sex a woman, she's our legal wife. God's laws > demonic contracts, right? Can this void stupid devilish contracts?

>>10524490
Fuck it, you get MORE than Experience. ROLL 3d6, my MANLY MANFRIEND!

>>10524484
FUCK YOU FAGGOT

MAN QUEST IS BEST QUEST

>>10524490
Did we unlock new options like 'New Game+'?

rolled 4, 2, 4 = 10

>>10524504

>>10524481
Well, it's time to see if Alicia likes waterslides. Hopefully as much as she enjoys rollercoasters.

Inquire as to how did she manifest at first, her soul being in Hell and all that

>>10524497
>>10524496
THIS

MAN IT UP

LET'S DO THIS

>>10524518

Go in immediately behind her in the waterslide!

>>10524481
RIGHT so i think we were at a cunning check involving weather Alica is still under kat's love influence or simply deluding herself....

I DEMAND MORE MAN QUEST

>>10524517
You get the MANLY. . .

> Item 424: Juicy Diary

WTF

Agreed, Man Quest is way more lolz.

>>10524518
what kind of slide is it again?

I AM IN MY COMFORTABLE MANLY LEATHER CHAIR RIGHT NOW.
SURFING THE INTERNET ON MY MANLY COMPUTER
FROM MANLY, AUSTRALIA.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manly,_New_South_Wales
AND I HAVE TO SAY I AM LAUGHING.
LAUGHING IN THE DEEPEST TONE KNOWN TO MAN.
EVERY ONE OF MY GUFFAWS IS A ROOM-SHAKING BARITONE OF MIRTH.
AND MY MIRTH IS MANLY.

Dear god I'm lolling my ass off.

>>10524497
>>10524535
>>10524523

FUCK IT! I GIVE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS PERMISSION TO RUN MAN QUEST AS YOU WISH! A SLAVE OBEYS, BUT A MAN STARTS HIS OWN BADASS THREAD!!!!

>>10524541
WHO'S?

Like I said OP, that was very well played. I laughed my ass off, and in return I at least will not be saging you any more.

Well. Just this one last time. For old time's sake.

>>10524509
WE GET TO CARRY OVER ALL OF OUR MANLY, RIGHT?! THAT WAY WE CAN BE TWICE AS MANLY!

>>10524562
Hey, can we get back to Maid Quest?

>>10524562
A MAN NEEDS NO PERMISSION

A MAN MAKES YOU OBEY BECAUSE YOU ARE HIS SLAVE, HE IS SO MANLY

>>10524571
No, fuck that, this is better.

>>10524562
You were doing pretty well. Take a break from maid quest, run MAN QUEST like a man.

>>10524578
THERE ARE NO SLAVES.
ONLY BROS, AND PEOPLE WHO ARE ABOUT TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE.
ARE YOU A BRO?

>>10524562
I AM SO GODDAMN TEMPTED TO RUN THIS. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

rolled 4, 6, 4 = 14

>>10524541
A JUICY DIARY?

DOESN'T SOUND MANLY ENOUGH!

REROLLING

LIKE A MAN!

rolled 16 = 16

>>10524546
it's a water raft slide, can accomodate a small group of people

Inquire about Alicia's change in attitude today. She's seemed really friendly every since the incident with Asmoday.

rolled 5, 6, 3 = 14

>>10524541
Rolling again. Give me something manly this time.

>>10524571
MAN QUEST IS HERE TO STAY, FAGGOT

>>10524590
LIKE A MAN!

>>10524562
This may be the first time I've ever seen a storyteller hijack his own campaign. Bravo, sir.

FUCK I FEEL MANLY RIGHT NOW

rolled 3, 2, 2 = 7

lets get on with the waterslide. man questers make another thread.

GOSHUJIN IS GOING "WHAT HAVE I UNLEASHED?!"
BUT HE SHOULD ROLL WITH IT
LIKE A MAN
A DOUBLE MAN

>>10524607
A MAN TAKES HIS OWN RAFT

THAT'S MANLY

Sure is samefags in here.

so what does the Diary do Goshujin? who's is it?

rolled 1 = 1

>>10524648
nono, he started thinking that back when we raped a headcrab to death

>>10524662
A MAN -IS- HIS OWN RAFT

>>10524678
THAT SOUNDS... MANLY!

I've created a monster. . .

rolled 16 = 16

>>10524662
If he does that he doesn't get to wrap his arms around sweet sweet loli as he goes down.

>>10524642
WITH ONE MORE AWESOME THAN THE LAST

WHAT A MANLY THING TO DO

>>10524693
You can struggle against it, or you could give it a MANLY EMBRACE.

Fuck it. I'm aborting this current situation. I need someone to roll me 2d6.

>>10524693

You mean MANSTER

I think we may have given Goshujin an aneurysm with all the MANLINESS...

Goddamnit guys, stop being such fags. Can we please just get back to maid quest?

rolled 4, 3 = 7

>>10524706

>>10524693
A MONSTER?
OR A MAN!?

rolled 2, 3 = 5

>>10524706

>>10524698
can we be pervs discreetly enough to do this?

rolled 4, 2 = 6

>>10524706

>>10524713
>Goddamnit guys, stop being such fags
fags = man + man = DOUBLE MAN

HETEROSEXUALS ARE UNMANLY

SPARTANS WERE REAL MEN

>>10524549
YES, THERE IS A PART OF SYDNEY NAMED "MANLY".
IT IS FULL OF YUPPIES.
THIS MAKES ME ANGRY.

rolled 5, 5 = 10

>>10524706
MANLY ROLLING

>>10524723
why not? it's par for the course on water raft rides

rolled 4, 6 = 10

>>10524706

I have never understood MANCHILD as much as I have today

Damn you and your well-rounded board citizenry, Goshujin

rolled 5, 3 = 8

>>10524706

IF YOU CAN'T MAN IN YOURSELF, MAN IN ME WHO MANS IN YOU

>>10524714
>>10524722
>>10524726
AS A MAN, I HAVE ROLLED HIGHER THAN ALL OF YOU!

BEHOLD! >>10524736

>google Nabokov
>see on wikipedia that he wrote Lolita
>my face

> Event 43

As you finish heading down the slide, and get out into the pool, you look up and hear screaming coming from the shark tanks. People are running away and screaming their heads off.

WHAT DO?

Never change, /tg/

>>10524755
MAN MAN, FIGHT THE POWAH!

/tg/, I am proud.

>>10524706
You best not be running away. That is most unmanly.

>>10524775
Rush to the shark tank and beat the shit out of the sharks as i have been planning to for fucking an hour.

>>10524775
PUNCH THOSE SHARKS LIKE A MAN

>>10524775
LETS GO KICK SOME TAIL!

>>10524775
First, make sure Alicia is with us. Then run and investigate. ...Is there a shark tank in DisneyLand?

>>10524775
POINT AND SCREAM "GODZILLA! GODZILLA!"

Hang on, I've got a Maid RPG rulebook here. Lemme see what other items and/or events you guys have rolled for.

>>10524775
>WHAT DO?
MAN UP & INVESTIGATE. HOPE OUT LOUD WE GET TO CHOKE A BITCH, ER SHARK. CHOKE A SHARK.

>>10524775
PUNCH THE SCREAMERS LIKE A MAN

THEN PUNCH THE SHARKS WITH EVEN MORE MANLY

>>10524775
"Fuck, not this shit again"

Let's do the ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED routine

>>10524775
Run to the next ride, while the lines are scattered away!

>>10524804
http://disneyworld.disney.go.com/parks/typhoon-lagoon/attractions/shark-reef/

>>10524775
SHARK PUNCH

SHARK PUNCH

SHARK PUNCH

BE THE MAN

"I'd attempt to take this one head on, but after the T-Rex incident... Alicia, may I?"

>>10524808
You are a more patient man than I, there are like 20 billion different charts.

>MAN QUEST

>haters... STOP. HATING.

Goshujin-Sama, you have officially won THE ENTIRE FUCKING INTERNET.

>>10524775
Bipedal, soft-skinned mammal with no claws, fangs, or electromagnetic field induction organs versus a living teeth factory with an attached organic outboard motor and is so well suited to its role as the very embodiment of death that it hasn't changed in millions of years? Fuck Yeah, let's get some Shark Fin Soup!

See if security is responding. If they are, just ignore the commotion.

I'D SAY IT'S TIME TO

*manly sunglasses*

MAN UP

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!" you scream. "ALICIA! LET'S GO! WE NEED TO GO AND FIGHT SHAAARKS!"

Alicia pauses and stares at you. "What? What the hell are you talking about!?"

"SHARKS!" you scream. "THESE PEOPLE ARE RUNNING AWAY FROM GIANT SHARKS!" Leaving her behind, you bolt towards the shark tanks, frothing at the mouth.

"WHAT THE. . . WAIT!" Alicia shouts. "REMEMBER THE DINOSAUR? WHAT ABOUT THE DINOSAUR!"

But you ignore her and keep running, your blood up, filled with the MANLY URGE to BEAT AND KILL SHIT. . .

And then you see it.

Pic Related

>>10524872
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

>>10524775
>On a side note, why is Maid Quest 35 labeled avatar drawfaggotry?
Someone was probably being a faggot & trying to prevent archival - though it didn't need it anyway. It was shit up pretty bad. Notice how it's at -2.

>>10524859

You forgot ASSGUN. THE FELL POWER OF .38 SMITH AND WESSON IS AT OUR FINGERTIPS

GOSHUJIN, IS THAT MOTHERFUCKER LOADED WITH +P HYDRA-SHOCK HOLLOWPOINTS? SAY YES PLZ

>>10524856
he did it in like 3 minutes time as well

>>10524856
If there's one thing /tg/ loves, it's men.

>>10524875
Fuck yes! INSULT THE SQUID. INSINUATE THAT WE FUCKED ITS MOTHER.

>>10524875
EVEN BETTER

MANLY PUNCH TIME!

"Okay, now it's on."

>>10524875
say "dude, what the fuck are you doing at Disneyland?"

>>10524875
WHITE WHALE

HOLY GRAIL

>>10524875
"SQUID, ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"

>>10524875
Be vaguely disappointed that it's a Giant Squid, and not sharks.

>>10524875

'MOTHERFUCKER YOU LOOK LIKE...

... YOU NEED A DRINK. DITCH THAT TANK BROSEPH WE'RE HITTIN THE BAR"

Sorry... I'm allergic to being raped

>>10524875
SO WE MEET AGAIN? HELL OR HELL, LET'S ROCK!

It's okay. . . I think we can basically admit that prior thread was shit except for the fact that we woke up and decided to go to Typhoon Lagoon.

OKAY! I NEED YOU FUCKERS TO ROLL 1D6! CUNNING CHECK!

>>10524875
THE EYE GO FOR THE FUCKING EYE GOD DAMN

rolled 6, 5, 2 = 13

>>10524875
magic missile at the squid

>>10524856
Well, just the one. Still, manliness does amazing things.

>>10524875
Awesome. I'm sure everyone's happy with this

rolled 2 = 2

>>10524912

rolled 4 = 4

>>10524912
MANLY CHECK

>>10524923
>I'm butthurt my shitty fetish fap quest got replaced with MANLY AWESOME, because I know I will never be a real man

>>10524895
this, also ask it why it isn't drinking it up in like the bahamas or something

>>10524890
>INSINUATE THAT WE FUCKED ITS MOTHER.
I'M PRETTY SURE WE KILLED ITS 'LOVER'

>>10524875
Hey, don't I know you? Whats up?

rolled 5 = 5

>>10524918
SPERM WHALE MISSILE PEW PEW

>>10524943
sure we do, we met it on out inagural cruise on our yacht

DAMN OP, WE NEED MORE MANLY!

>>10524972
>fighting giant squid in Shark filled park
>more manly

notsureifserious.jpg

I've noticed a pattern in these threads.

>thread starts

>OH MY GOD LOLIFUCKING THIS IS PATHETIC SAGE FOR THE SAGE GOD

>we start fighting DEMONS/DINOSUARS/GIANT MOTHERFUCKING SQUIDS

>HOLY FUCK THIS IS AWESOME

The lesson- the quickest way to the fa/tg/uys heart is with GIANT SQUID BATTLES.

>>10524927

"YOU!" the squid roars. "IT IS YOU! I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR YOU FOR DAYS AND DAYS! YOU FUCKER! YOU LIED TO ME! YOU DID KILL THE ONLY SQUID I EVER LOVED!"

You flash back to the moment when you murdered that squid in the cave. . . then the time when, on your yacht, you lied to its squid lover and said that you didn't,

"IT TOOK ME DAYS TO FIND YOU! DAYS TO TRACK YOU TO HERE, THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH! EVEN MORE TO FORCE MY WAY INTO THESE TANKS. . . BUT NOW I HAVE FOUND YOU!" the squid screams, shattering windows and flailing about with its tentacles. "FIGHT ME NOW! I WILL AVENGE MYSELF UPON YOU, YOU MURDERER!"

>>10524990
>>10524912
This is much better than "which kind of girl would you like to pretend you're having sex with?"

>>10524895
Quick. We have to figure out if this is the one we got drunk with on our boat.

>>10524853
464 is a whip that allows you to summon Cuban military thugs to detain/abduct an NPC. Use it twice in one day and they abduct YOU instead.

563 allows you to give one (and only one) order to any one of the maids, and they are obliged to fulfil it to the best of their abilities, even if it leads them into (or beyond) death, and even if the request is self-destructive or goes completely against the maid's principles.

43 on the event chart means a monster's surfaced (at the mansion in the rules, but we're at DISNEYLAAAND)

>>10524990
Demand proof we killed the squid. Or inquire as to why it thinks we lied. Sure we DID lie but it must have a reason to of come to that conclusion.

>>10524990
and then the water was a mecha

>>10524990
I HAVE WALKED HELL ITSELF FOR THOSE I LOVED, AND BROUGHT THEM BACK!

SO DON'T BRING ME THAT SHITTY EXCUSE

>>10524990
>>10525006
ohshi

>>10525030
This. But with less capitals.

>>10524990
WAIT before you kill me engage me in the monologue of how you ofund me out so i can navigate myself into a position where i can coupe de' grace you!

>>10524990

Pour chlorine into the tank.

>>10524990
"Naah, you got the wrong guy again.

I'm fairly certain you're talking about my cousin Bob he recently inherited a crapton of money.

Looks just like me ya'know, I heard he was taking a vacation in the south pacific for the next couple of weeks, if you head over there quick you're sure to catch him."

>>10524990
MANLY PUNCH TIME

>>10524990
"In my defense, I totally thought he was a tentacle monster. If he'd just told me he was a squid, we could have avoided all this."

>>10525021
"Hey, look, look," you say, raising your hands. "I thought we'd established I didn't kill your lover. . ."

"YOU LIED!" screams the squid. "YOU MURDERED HIM WITH YOUR BARE HANDS! I KNOW! I FOUND A WITNESS TO THE ENTIRE EVENT!" He raises a tentacle and shoves it into your face.

You see he is holding what appears to be a terrified seagull.

"SK'UTTL HERE SAW THE WHOLE THING! HE SAW YOU MURDER THE ONLY SQUID I EVER LOVED! NOW FIGHT LIKE A MAN, OR I'LL SMASH YOU LIKE AN ANT!"

>>10525003
you obviously never read the Maid RPG book.

Sex is ENTIRELY OPTIONAL.
Maid RPG is basically "You (The GM) are the master of a place, you have servants. One is a butler, they are all played by friends. Go forth and make up a cool story. Here's the guidelines to use your stats and generate maids and butlers"

It's no more a sex game than D&D is about worshiping satan.

>>10525045

Wait, I mean toss, from a safe distance.

>>10525045
THE TANK IS NOW CHLORINE

Okay, I need a vote time. Are you gonna talk your way out of this, or fight? Best of seven.

THAT SEAGULL IS DRUNK OBVIOUSLY!

>>10525058
Excuse me, my good squid, but I do believe your witness..
*draw ass cannon*
*Kill Seagull*
... is unreliable.

>>10525058
FIGHT HIM LIKE A MAN

A MANLY MAN

MAN MAN MAN

>>10525070
words

>>10524990
WITHDRAW MANLY KNIFE FROM NOWHERE...
ADVICEMAN.PNG
AND KNIFE THAT FUCKER RIGHT IN THE EYE!

>>10525070
MANLY PUNCH

>>10525070
LUCHAMOS

>>10525058
That fucking seagull sold us out. RIP AND TEAR

Do we really want to keep stringing this giant squid along, instead of engaging in an epic battle inside a shark tank at Disney World and killing it with our bare hands? Which would be trolling it more? Lie to it again, or insult it as we kill it?

Talk our way out. Obviously that seagull told the squid whatever it wanted to hear based on how terrified it is.

>>10525070
fight! assemble the maids!

>>10525070
Talking our way out by lying more would be hilarious.

>>10525067

>old spice

I USE OLD SPICE

GONNA PUT OSME ON NOW

FUCK IM DRNK

>>10525058
It was self defense! Now get out of here before the disney guys use you to expand their seafood menu.

>>10525070
Fight, d'uh.
Opening shot to murder the seagull, remark that there are now no more witnesses. As such, any attack the squid makes upon you will be unjustified, and you are fully authorised to retaliate with lethal force.

FIGHT THIS MOTHERFUCKER

THRUST OUR HAND INTO THE AIR AND SHOUT

"DEFENDERS OF DISNEYLAND, TO ME!"

rolled 5, 2, 1 = 8

>>10525112
plus seagulls are never reliable.

Okay, good god, fighting wins. . .

You take a deep breath as you face the squid alone. "Sir," you say, "I'm very sorry for your loss. . ."

> Quick Draw: 24

But then you rapidly draw your ass pistol from your swimming trunks and shoot the seagull's head off.

"But your witness is DEAD WRONG!"

> Surprise attack! Seagull is dead! WHAT DO NAO!?

>>10525070
SEE >>10525093
RIGHT IN ITS GODFORSAKEN EYE(S)! RIGHT IN IT/'EM!

Cross examine and bribe the bird.

Shit be hilarious.

Wait.
We can use 2 allies in this combat.
One of our allies is obviously Alicia.
But can our other ally be a Shark?
A Shark trained to serve as a mount for aquatic combat?

>>10525122
if we fight him, cry this out.

>>10525133
Intimidate squid.

>>10525133

Why th fuck did we shoot the bird?

It'll have flown off on its own.

"Your squid killed the only man I've ever popped a boner for!

Would you be interested in a portal to Hell were you will have an awesome adventure questing for true love?"

>>10525133
Well what are you waiting for?
Alicia! Demon form now!
Now would be a very good time to retreat and fire until the clip is empty, then get the knife out and charge.

Who's our 3rd combattant on our side going to be?

>>10525133
TO WAR MEN, ER...US! STAB THAT MOTHERFUCKER WITH THE SAME KNIFE WE KILLED ITS MATE WITH...SOMEHOW! USE MAGIC OR SOMETHING TO MAKE SHIT FLASHY & IMPRESSIVE!

>>10525151
We cannot afford to leave witnesses.

Suggest it fights its way through hell. I mean, we've done it with great success.

>>10525133

"I MET YOUR GODDAMN HUSBAND IN A CAVE AND HE WAS LIKE 'FUCK YOU' AND I WAS LIKE 'FINE WHATEVER' AND I BLEW AWAY THE ROCK SLIDE AND HE SWAM OUT TO MEET HIS FATE WITH A WHALE OR SOME SHIT I DON'T KNOW

HOW THE FUCK DOES A SEAGULL SEE INSIDE A CAVE THEY DON'T

FUCK I'M DRUNK

>>10525159
I don't think dear Uncle Walt would be happy about our little lolidemon going BEASTMOAD in the middle of his park.

>>10525159
As suggested earlier, one of the sharks?

Greeeeeeeat. Now some kid is going to be crying that someone killed the Seagull from Finding Nemo.

Meanwhile, we're ignoring Alicia and trying to find out why she's being happy and weird.

TLDR, less fight, more story.

Tell Alicia to call for burly bald help

It's time to get on the good side of those guys

>>10525159
Crab King from crab quest

he's over 50 feet across and hates squid with a passion

>>10525178
haha, this

>>10525151
IT'S A RATFINK SONUVABITCH. IT GOT WHAT WAS COMING TO IT.

This still up?

SAGE FOR THE SAGE GOD
SPICE FOR THE SPICE RACK.

>>10525184
He's not happy about the squid either.
Well, are we going to TEAR N RIP yet?

THIS THREAD IS LACKING IN OONST OONST OONST

>>10525156
FFFFF- Now I want to quote a character from a tv show.

"What if I told you that there's this portal I know that leads to hell where you could find your lost love. Would that be something you'd be interested in?"

Bleh. Fighting it is though. We need to find a way to boil this thing and then have Walt Disney serve calamari to the part as compensation for this disturbance.

>>10525203
We're fighting a GIANT SQUID goddamn.
You aren't okay with fighting a giant squid?

>>10525193
I second this motion! All hail King Crab!

>>10525197

He rattedout DA FAMBILY

YOUS DON'T RAT OUT DA FAMBILY

>>10525122
> FIGHT THIS MOTHERFUCKER
> THRUST OUR HAND INTO THE AIR AND SHOUT
> "DEFENDERS OF DISNEYLAND, TO ME!"

As you strike a Kamina pose, you realize that there is no one else in the park. . .

Then comes the rumbling.

From the sky descends two figures, sheathed in mystical fairy dust!

One is a large canine man, and he wears full plate armor, and carries a huge tower shield.

The second is a duck, a mallard, perhaps, and he wears wizard robes and carries a magic staff.

"GAWRSH!" shouts the fighter. "This isn't very magical at all, HYUCK!"

"AAAAW PUT A SOCK IN IT!" shrieks the wizard, in a high pitched, garbled voice. "DISNEY WORLD IS IN DANGER!"

-----
Your party has been assembled!

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Alicia gazing at the three of you. She sighs, shrugs her shoulders, and sits down on a bench, muttering something about "men and their immature need to act macho."

WHAT DO!?

>>10525193
This. Summon. NOW!

>>10525243

SUMMON KEYBLADE

>>10525243

HEY YOU CUNTS!

This is a female squid, right?
Whip up *sparkle*MAGIK*sparkle* and make it tentacle rape itself!

>>10525243
QUICK, FIND A HUEG KEY. WE'RE GOING TO NEED IT

>>10525263
This. This for great justice.

>>10525249
I don't want to think of the backlash from fusing universes.

>>10525243
I'll just sit out and watch for a while. /tg/ seems to be on a MAN HIGH from your joke of a MAN QUEST, so my votes are getting drowned out.

>>10525243
tell wizard to use chlorine missile

>>10525263
As you raise your hand into the air, the iron key that PUSH gave you two days ago appears floating in the air above your hand. . . in a flash of light, it suddenly grows into a three-foot long KEY, with the TEETH SHARPENED TO A RAZOR'S EDGE!

The symbol on the key itself, by the way, is an AWESOMEFACE with a maid's frill on.

> You: 20 Spirit
> Fighter: 20 Spirit
> Mage: 20 Spirit

CHOOSE YOUR ACTIONS NAO!

>>10525243
>WHAT DO!?
WE STAB A BITCH-SQUID! CALAMARI'S FOR LUNCH MOTHERFUCKERS!

WAIT A MINUTE...
>DONALD & GOOFY DESCENDING FROM SKY TO FIGHT ALONGSIDE US
GODDAMMIT KINGDOM HEARTS...

>>10525243
>Donald and Goofy
>Defenders of Disney
FUCK YES GOSHUJIN-SAMA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Fucking weeaboo faggots.

>>10525294
We really need to use that key at some point before we leave... It should work on any door... Make a mental note /tg/. Who knows how useful it could be.

>The symbol on the key itself, by the way, is an AWESOMEFACE with a maid's frill on.

hahahahaha oh wow

>>10525243

have PALA-GOOF use HYUCKSMITE!

Have WIZA-DUCK use CHLORINE MISSILE!

and us? we summon... THE KEYBLADE

>>10525243
DEAR GOD...

IT'S BEAUTIFUL...

NOW GET DONALD TO THUNDERAGA THE FUCKING SQUID

>>10525294
>>10525295
Stand behind Goofy and wait for him to charge. Charge right the fuck in behind him and chop any tentacles that approach.
As soon as Goofy closes into melee, jump for the squid's eye and stab that motherfucker.

>>10525294
US: IT'S HUGE SO IT MUST HAVE HUGE GUTS! HACK AN' SLASH!
FIGHTER: SHIELD BASH
MAGE: DO SOMETHING WITH LIGHTNING. EVERYONE KNOWS WATER-BASED ENEMIES ALWAYS GET RAPED BY ELECTRIC ATTACKS.

>The symbol on the key itself, by the way, is an AWESOMEFACE with a maid's frill on.

PHOTOSHOP NOW

>>10525294
have DONALD cast lightning magic and have Goofy intercept incoming attacks with his shield.

>>10525322
Adding my vote to this. Zap that squid.

>>10525294

DUAL WIELD WITH THE FELLBLADE FROM HELL

Wizard: Chlorine missile
Defender: make a slide drop onto him or some other stunt

>>10525294
X-Slash with us and Goofy, then have Donald Thunderaga the shit out of the squid.

enchant the key weapon with electric damage.

Wow this thread, no this board, is full of fucking losers. These are the same fags that try to act like there hardcore because there "anonymous"

>>10525318
>>10525327
>>10525322

PALADIN GUUFI ATTEMPTS SHIELD CHARGE!
> GUUFI: 18
> SQUID: 24

PALADIN GUUFI walks straight into a smashing tentacle!

GUUFI TAKES 8 STRESS!

MAGE DONALDUS ATTEMPTS TO CAST THUNDERAGA!

> DONALDUS: 9
> GIANT SQUID: 20

MAGE DONALDUS SLIPPED IN A PUDDLE OF WATER AND ACCIDENTALLY BOLTED HIMSELF! HE TAKES 6 STRESS!

You attempt to SMITE with the keyblade!

> You: 24
> Squid: 8

SQUID WAS CRITICALLY STRUCK! IT TAKES 6 STRESS AND LOSES A TENTACLE!

SQUID ATTEMPTS TO USE TENTACLE LASH AGAINST ALL THREE OF YOU!

> SQUID: 20
> GUUFI: 12
> DONALDUS: 6
> YOU: 16

You will need to spend 7 XP to avoid damage from the tentacles, or you will take 5 Stress.

SPEND THE XP? You have 125

>>10525401
SPEND THE XP

>125
You're even asking?

>>10525401
>SPEND THE XP?
YES. WE'RE APPARENTLY THE ONLY COMPETENT ONES SO WE MUST CONTINUE TO HACK AN' SLASH!

>>10525401

What's our max stress?

As for our next round, we tell Mage Donaldus to HIEL! HIEL! RIGHT IN DA SQUID-URZ FACE!

dodge the tentacle rape! spend the XP!

>>10525401
*facepalm* Goddamn Disney characters!
Anyway, yeah, let's burn up some of that XP. We'll get more easily enough, but Stress is harder to get rid of.

FUCK YEAH

Blink outside his vision and SHOOT IT LIKE ALLISTER CAINE

Also, I propose our uncle was Allister Caine, and we are the MC, Michael "MaC" Caine

>>10525399
>there

OH MY GAWD GUYS! we need to hire them as security at our mansion for the inevitable demon hordes.

>>10525421
You spend 7 XP and manage to easily leap over the tentacles as they lash out at you!

Your paladin and mage aren't so lucky, however! They each take 6 Stress!

> You: 20 Spirit
> Paladin: 6 Spirit
> Mage: 8 Spirit

You see Alicia yawn as she stares at the three of you getting your asses owned by the squid. She looks a bit frustrated, but hasn't yet decided to jump into the fight.

WHAT DO?

>>10525462
I posted this
>>10525453

>>10525462
Donald casts Full party heal, Goofy defends him, We summon Simba.

>She looks a bit frustrated, but hasn't yet decided to jump into the fight.

Nooooo! we must never allow this to happen. It would hurt our male pride. And as we all know, male pride is directly proportional to dick length!

Uhhh...I don't think she's happy.

>>10525462

"Alica, be a dear and let Ursula know that some squid is STARTING TROUBLE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD!"

>key

>keyblade

HOW THE FUCK DID NOBODY SEE THIS COMING

Guys, let's stop the squid fight. I know we started it, but OBVIOUSLY ALICIA DOESN'T LIKE IT! MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP KILLING EVERY GIANT THING WE SEE?!

Alicia doesn't like us fighting things, remember. I vote we end it fast. Like, in a turn or two.

Massive experience expenditure if we have to.

>>10525518

THE FUCK YOU SAY

>>10525462
Go for the eyes!
Damn, we need some distraction. Where's a young lovestruck transexual when you need one?

If I may interrupt, Goshujin, could you clear something up in regards to Asmoday? Purely from an out-of-character standpoint.

>>10525518
This is actually plotful

We send it to hell and in the prologue it comes back with its lover in tow after HellSquidQuest

>>10525517
Because we already had info on what that key did, it opens any door.

It turns out it's also a keyblade but why would we think of that when we already supposedly knew its properties?

>>10525462
Use our magic to make Donald and Goofy competent maybe?

>>10525486
>>10525497
You draw a second gun (your .22) from HAMMERSPACE or your ass something and go dual wielding on this motherfucker!

> You: 20
> Squid: 4

> You: 4
> Squid: 8

You get all SPELLFIRE STORM up in this bitch and start opening up with two pistols like DANTE or some shit.

Then you realize that your .22 has been up your ass for weeks and you haven't cleaned it in all that time.

It JAMS on you.

Guufi goes into DEFENSIVE STANCE!
DONALDUS casts GROUP HEAL!

SOMEONE ROLL 1d6!

>>10525517
Actually, I think the keyblade thing is an improv on Goshujin's part. He said in another thread that it would open any door and into a pocket dimension.

Summon Simba!!!!!!!!!

>>10525518
>>10525518
Actually... Wait, lets go with this.

rolled 5 = 5

>>10525571

>>10525544
Sure thing, what's the question?

>>10525518
>MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP KILLING EVERY GIANT THING WE SEE?!
Blasphemy!
What else could their function be other than being defeated by us in a badass fight.

>>10525518

>>10525583
this seems as though it may be effective

I vote we find a way to stop the fight. With magic if need be.

And XP expenditure. Seriously, I think Alicia just wants a nice, quiet day. I know I do.

>>10525576
second, i love simba

>>10525462
>Alicia bored
>WHAT DO?
Pop over & calmly ask if she'd like to do something else. If yes: finish the fight aka SWEEP THE LEG AKA CUT IT'S FUCKING HEAD OFF.
If no: tease her about her swimsuit a little but keep it good-natured.

I vote we end the fight. Seriously, for Alicia's sake.

>>10525549
>>10525518
I think it's kinda late to stop fighting even if it would be the most sensible thing to do.

>>10525589
us showing alicia that we care more about her than killing things?

though this fight is pretty justified

>>10525576
here, just wanted to say that simba shoots lightning by roaring... now you know...

>>10525574
Correct. We have two keys. One from hell I think it was that he warned us would have major consequences if we used it so it's an emergency thing at best. The second one we got from PUSH opened up a pocket dimension by inserting it into any door. What's inside? No clue. PUSH said it'd be useful, especially for people taking their demon maid to disney land I believe, so we might want to check it out soonish.

>>10525583
Donald and Guufi each heal 5 Stress!

THE SQUID ATTEMPTS TO GRAB AND SMASH DONALDUS!

> DONALDUS: 15
> SQUID: 16

DONALDUS IS HIT! HE IS IMMOBILIZED!

SQUID ATTEMPTS TO SMASH YOU WITH DONALDUS!

> Squid: 24
> You: 16

It's 12 XP to avoid this attack! Do it or not?

Alicia opens hellgate and we throw it inside so it can search for its squid?

>>10525544
specifically: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9078487/
> I don't even have a name anymore
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/10443817/
> To bind it and control it, it needed to be named.

>>10525634
yes

uh one thread we had an extra item offered to us- a music box was an option. what did we end up going with? a boon for Reggie?

>>10525634
Avoid, duh. Also, ask squid for a ceasefire, and attempt to talk it out.

>>10525634
Yes, spend it, AND STOP THE FIGHT JESUS CHRIST GUYS, ARE YOU ALL THIS DUMB?!

>>10525639
So yeah, how does Asmoday continue to exist as Asmoday, not LUST?

>>10525634

TAKE THE HIT

LIKE A FUCKING MAN

>>10525634
Why the fuck not?

Let's end this fight quick and go back to finding out about Alicia's situation and the whole souls lost/recovered and the locket of love deal

Listen, the loli can be bored for a couple minutes while we have fun.

>>10525639
Yeah, that is a bit of a discrepancy. It's what happens from running a quest over a period of several months and not keeping very close notes on what you're doing.

Suffice to say I'll think of a reason why this makes sense. For now, if it really bugs you, think of it as a GM error. Sorry. :P

>>10525654
How do you propose to end the fight? The squid specifically wants to kill us. The time for talk has come and gone.

>>10525690
Intimidation

>>10525690
You seem to forget that we have FUCKING MAGIC! Also, it's a squid. It can't walk on land.

>>10525690
Tell it how death can be undone. I mean, we've been to hell and back three times now.

>>10525702

Let DONALDUS and GUUFI hold off the Squid while we locate a nearby WATER TOWER or some crazy shit to drop on it's head I dunno

>>10525634
How difficult would it be to magically make these chucklefucks competent? As it is, they're only prolonging the fight.

summon simba!

YOU AVOID THE ATTACK! New XP total is 106!

DONALDUS, however, gets smashed into the ground! He turns into a pancake with a hat on!

> DONALDUS took 9 Stress total! He is at 4!

>>10525700
I say we intimitate it into pieces small enough to put into a matchbox, without taking the matches out first.

Can we please just get back to Alicia?

>>10525725

They're shit-tier monsters we use to soak up attacks until we can draw more cards from our deck.

Like GASTON, the OPERATOR.

>>10525725
Honestly, all it takes is me making decent rolls, but I've been rolling shitty for them. :P

Since people seem to be bored of this. . . HERE GOES! I NEED A VOTE NAO!

Do you TALK or continue FIGHTING?

How much exp to say we won the fight and get back to Alicia?

>>10525746
continue FIGHTING

>>10525746
FIGHT!

>>10525746
Talk, please. Really, we don't want to die again, and Alicia is already pissed enough.

>>10525731

Where's the controls to DRAIN THE TANK? We can't blow him out the GODDAMN AIRLOCK but at least we can leave him high and dry!

As long as IQ's don't drop sharply while we're away.

>>10525740
I'm inclined to agree with this fellow. The horrible ineptitude of our new...colleagues has obliterated any redeeming humor there may have been. It's lost its MANLY & gone to just...'meh'.

>>10525746
talk

>>10525746
Summon Simba and FIGHT or RIDE HIM INTO THE SUNSET WITH ALICA!!

>>10525768
Yea, we can't have any nice things.

Talk.

>>10525762
But if we drain it how will loli swim :(

>>10525768

>implying Goofy and Donald Duck were EVER competent :D

>>10525746
TALK.

>>10525746
Convince it to leave us alone.

>>10525746
FIGHT! Or else all the other sea creatures will think we're a bitch and be all up in our turf.

Talk.

>>10525759
WE'RE MEN, WE TALK WITH OUR FISTS

Talk.

keep fighting we have already burned exp on this lets get some back

>>10525746
Fight!

End the fight, back to story.

I don't think we should run away from the SECOND fight in a row.

>>10525811
It doesn't work like that stupid. We'll keep burning xp to NOT DIE!
JUST FUCKING TALK!

>>10525746
Fight! We invested too much xp to stop now.

>>10525787
We will refill the tank... with semen.

KEYBLADE AND .38 DO THE TALKING

MOTHERFUCKER

>>10525818
>Implying there is any reason to fight when we could be hanging out with our awesome semi-loli-daemonhost.

>>10525746
We burned up XP on this fight already, we need to get some back. Keyblade its eyes!

FIGHT

>>10525746
ROW ROW FIGHT DA SQUID

>>10525746
just talk to the damned thing

then back to making alicia happy

. . . okay, here goes. . . as Donaldus is smashed to a pulp, you raise the silver key from the mansion and convert it to a KEYBLADE as well!

"FACE THE POWER OF HEART, BITCH!" you scream, and you charge the squid, both blades flashing, as you OMNISLASH THE FUCK out of the motherfucker. . .

FREEZE FRAME

Cut to an orbital shot of the Earth from space. We see a MUSHROOM CLOUD explode somewhere in FLORIDA

The next thing we see is a squid being launched into orbit. It smashes through a communications satellite and flies out into space!

-----
Cut back to Earth, where our hero is standing in the middle of a giant crater where the squid used to be, two glowing keyblades in his hands. He turns to the others and asks. "What the hell was that? You guys are goddamn incompetent."

"We're actors!" complains Guufi. "We have stunt doubles for this!"

"Are you done yet?" Alicia sighs. "As amusing as it is watching you wave your dick around and act like a little boy, I thought we were on a date or something."

>>10525824
it does. if we stop to talk then the burnt exp was wasted

Holy shit, you are all fucking retarded. JUST TALK!

"Oh dear a girl is bored for a moment let us immediately stop whatever we are doing, goodness gracious!"

You lot are annoying.

>>10525848
xp isn't gained through fighting

>>10525847
"Yea, sorry. Let's get back to having fun."
Go off and look for something else to do. I like the wave pool.

>>10525847
"Sorry, my alter-ego seems to be made of idiots."
Fuck the fourth wall, our character has money.

>>10525847

> I thought we were on a date or something"

Oh shit, here comes the Hansen.

>>10525847
*dust off shirt*
"I do apologize, my dear. The fellow simply would not take no for an answer."

so i heard you guys like man quest

>>10525847
The two or three idiots spamming the talk option made this into a lame thing.

>>10525847
i still think we should summon simba and ride him home. Alica might like that

>>10525868
What is the purpose of this quest, for you?

at least the line ups are gone

>>10525847
Well I had to do something! Anyways, it's over with, I can get back to getting you wet now.

Thanks guys, catch you later.

>>10525847
"Yup, done now, sorry I had to do that but that bloody squid has been chasing after me since i found the yacht.

So, uh... it looks like they may be closing this place down for today, you want to go somewhere else?"

>>10525847

>a date or something

AAWWWW SOMEBODY LIKES US

Keep the keyblades out. We're going to need them for the CODE guys.

>"I can get back to getting you wet now."
Whatever else we do, this has to be a part of it.

>>10525848
I want to fight, but that's a logical fallacy.

What you're talking about is called escalation of investment, and hinders minimization of loss.

>>10525893
you mean the two or three spamming the fight?

>>10525910

THIS

>>10525903
This. Or maybe just "Sure, let's go get you wet." after which we throw her into a pool.

>>10525891
FUCK YEAH MAN QUEST

>>10525910
This, so much.

>>10525910
Seconded!

>>10525421
Don't spend the XP, we have enough spare stress.

>>10525896
>>10525894

After that incident, the park is. . . rather quiet. Not too many lines. You're amazed they stay open, but Disney is nothing if not efficient.

I'll be arsed if I describe how you stand in lines for water slides and go down them over and over, so let's skip past that to after lunch when, in the interests of not getting cramps and dying, you decide to take a break from going swimming for a bit to just hang out and sit by the wave pool in deck chairs.

Alicia is laying down on the deck chair next to you with a pair of sunglasses on, staring up at the sky. "Why do you do that sort of thing, anyway?" she asks. "Keep going around fighting random monsters and things. It's kinda weird. One moment you're this sweet and nice guy, the next you're a raving psychopath. I think you need help."

Don' t sweat the fight, guys. We have a keyblade, THE DEFENDERS OF DISNEYLAND, magic, and THE ASS CANNON. We were gonna win.

>>10525947

".... you know, I have absolutely no idea why that is. It's just... what I do."

>>10525947
You ever get that feeling in the back of your head to do something?
Like that, except I have to act on it. It sucks, really.

>>10525947
"It's a nerd thing. Every game I've played, when you fight something, you get experience. The more experience you get, the more powerful you get, and the better you can protect the things you care about."

Take her hand.

"Like you."

>>10525947
how else can we help innocents?

>>10525947

"It wanted me dead and it probably knows where we live.

If I didn't take care of it, everyone back home would be in danger."

>>10525947

OOC: that's a... good question. And I can't answer it.

>>10525947
OUR BLOOD IS BOILING WITH THE POWER OF A THOUSAND SUNS

That, and we can't let these things harm innocent people. We are a decent (if perverted) person after all.

>>10525947
>I think you need help
"Duh. Like I'm alone with that in the mansion."

>>10525947
"Because I keep thinking I need to protect you. I know it's stupid, and you're capable on your own, but I never want to see you hurt."

God damn it we could have spared the Xp.
You guys wasted Xp.
This sucks. :(

>>10525947
Help? That's what you and the other maids are for.

>>10525947
"The leisurly life bores me, i have to do something or go insane. Sleeping with my maids is always good but i can only do it so many times in one day."

"So when weird shit happens I make things go back to normal, it keeps me entertained, and the people around me a bit safer."

>>10525975
Aww. Second.

>>10525971
>>10525970

"Well," Alicia says, rolling over onto her stomach and grinning at you. "If you didn't do what your first impulse was, I guess I wouldn't be here, would I? Anyway, you're a lot more fun than the other previous masters Asmoday had. They were all, "GIVE ME POWER AND WEALTH AND WOMEN NOW," acting imperious and stuck up and stuff. You're the first master I've had that's actually fun."

She takes a sip of her ice lemonade. A bit of frost drips off the cup and onto the hot concrete.

>>10525947

"Sometimes you really have to test your limits to know who you are. Sometimes that means fighting giant squid".

>>10525975
>>10525999

Voting this down. Jesus that's cheesy, not in a good way.

>>10525947

"Well... how do I explain it... many Asian martial arts focus on redirecting the enemy's momentum, and reflect a greater philosophy emphasizing redirection or avoidance of force.

Me? I punch people in the face, really hard. I see a giant squid, I see a face that needs punching."

Hey guys, we're autosaging. 356 posts hidden.

rolled 5, 2 = 7

>>10526002
Well, let's find something else to do!
Random event table is go!

>>10526002
i dont need those things because... i have you...

NO! NO RANDOM EVENT TABLE! THAT GETS US INTO TROUBLE!

>>10526004

Win
-----
Okay, here goes. There is now a MASS EFFECT style spinny conversation choice thing on your screen. The choices are,

> "I want to protect you"
> "Tease her."

Pick one.

>>10526002
"Power, Wealth and Women I've already got. Why would i demand more? I just want to have fun and hang around with those close to me."

>>10526034
> "I want to protect you"

> "I want to protect you"
This is the blue option, right? Pick the blue one.

>>10526034
Tease her how? Like "HAHA!" Or "Awww, you look so cute in that dress."

>>10526021
>A sudden evening shower over the mansion!
>Everyone gets wet!
>The maids had better hurry and change their clothes.
...
>At a waterpark

Good roll genius.

>>10526034
"Tease her."

>>10526002
"Good to know, cheers."
Bump drinks!

>>10526002

"Well you're the first Maid I've had that hasn't been shy on calling me on my shit."

Sigh.

"... 'cept for Katherine, that is."

>>10526034
"I want to protect you"

>>10526034
Tease her.
The troll side compels us!

>>10526034
RENEGADE.

>>10526031
if we could stop spending so much goddamn XP...
Why don't you guys just take the stress hit? Stress grows back, and we -do- have 20 of it.
Hell, let's spend XP on raising Willpower to 4.

>>10526034

Suddenly! Serious mode!

Option A

>>10526077

New Thread. Someone archive this one.

TEASE.

She KNOWS we wanna protect her. goddamn. We're at Disneyland, RIGHT NOW. Remember what getting here entailed?

>>10526034
PROTECT!

>>10526031
>>10526069
Yeah. To prevent us wasting our XP on dumb shit let's spend it on something.
Goshujin, bring up the XP table.
We're gonna need more Will to get more stress, and maybe more Cunning since we roll cunning a lot lately.

bamp

Another vote for Protect here.