I am human, and I am awesome, ergo humans are awesome.

Chuds suck though.

so, why doesnt it let me post the gaia copypasta?

>What makes Terrans special is their glorious need to strive, that cosmic - dwarf complex that makes them over-achieve

This is called an inferiority complex, OP.

If you thought humans are scary, wait until you meet mom.

Humans get a reputation as a warrior people, and in some ways that reputation is undeserved. While yes, violence is something they are more than skilled at doing, it is not the basis of their government or social interaction- it is integrated into their being and is as much a part of them as their need to breathe oxygen.

Humans are, in point of fact, also lovers. They love with a great depth and this forms the fabric of society on the personal level; before there was the greater civilization, they were pack creatures, closely knit survivors.

They are still survivors.

Rescue teams will leap through vacuum-sealed launch bays in efforts to make it to their objectives. Pilots will brave the tidal stresses along an event horizon if it means life. I have seen a human dig himself out of the rubble of a building and run after the terrorist who brought it down around him. Humans are nothing if not persistent.

The same applies to love.

Marry into them as the Avnari have done, and you will become part of their community. Their symbiotic government with the avian creatures is more than a business arrangement- it began with love. Love between two sophonts, which grew and opened the door for more and more sentients to find each other.

Human sexual habits.. they are another matter. Suffice it to say the rumors are true, go into it well-hydrated and be prepared.

>>10398583
That is what the apathetic call it, yes.

Oh look, it's this weird proto-fascist thread where we talk about how "we" are so much better than "them", despite the aliens just being blue colored humans, and being 'awesome' seems to involve being an enormous humorless dick.

It's as if it's all just a substitute for something else.

>>10398613
Thank you anonymous. We value your input.

>>10398731
Anytime.

>>10398597
I lol'd at the end. Source?

>>10398597

I lol'd. Very nice.

>>10398613

Sure beats the constant "humans are nothing compared to X race and in a one on one confrontation, would get raped 16 ways to sunday".

>>10398884
>"humans are nothing compared to X race and in a one on one confrontation, would get raped 16 ways to sunday".
Common? Maybe if you go to gay sites. For the people who have the sense to stay on /tg/, these threads are just annoying.
Of course, the people who have the sense to stay on /tg/ should have the sense to not be butthurt about it.

>>10398884
>>10398769
Off the top of my head, though the idea started in a thread long ago, before the coming of the Summer Court. At least, ancient in terms of 4chan.

>>10398884
What setting are you talking about?
Every thread like this, a similar question is asked, and really what setting are you people talking about?
From star wars to 40k humanity are the asskickers if not equalish competitors.

>>10399137

Star Wars isn't so bad with knocking down humans. A human against say, an Alien or Predator though is more than likely fucked unless he/she's the main character of a movie. Against anything higher than a zergling, a human will most likely lose.

Ah, Humans. The ancients, precursors, 'gods' even. Despite the Humans having left this plane of existence many ages ago, they left plenty of records about their existence. They were unfortunately situated in a relative desert in the galaxy of life. Alone on a few barely inhabitable worlds, they took advantage of their isolation to focus inwards, developing magnificent technologies and philosophies without the threat of extinction from an alien aggressor.

By the time contact was made, the Humans were already ascending. Only a handful stayed behind to enjoy themselves amongst new minds, and even those few were gods among mortals. Fused with boggling levels of technology, each human was a nation unto himself, and having a human advisor meant that one's people would flourish in ways previously unimaginable. The humans would teach what must have been cantrips in their eyes, and were lavishly rewarded.

When the Great Galactic War broke out, there was only 1 human left. And the side he chose to fight on won. He left immediately after, saying that he had no more desire to cause death on such a scale.

Half the galaxy had been turned to ash. He left us guidelines for rebuilding the galaxy and living peacefully with our neighbors, and those guidelines became the cornerstone of Human worship.

I wonder if they see us, every now and then, and hear the prayers, and intercede.

3000 years after the League for Mutual Conservation of Sentients was founded that the humans arrived on the fringe of known space, near me and my crew's station. From their backwater corner of the galaxy, they arrived in a ragtag fleet of ships, and warily proclaimed their borders. We did not believe them, at first. For one thing, those borders collided with those of the Bryzak Domination, and secondly, they suggested a holding of 82 star-systems, which was four larger than the combined holdings of the Trill/Jodack Federation, the dominant power in the League. The Terran Confederacy informed us that the Bryzak were dead. That was of uncertain meaning to many, as by this time, the idea of terminating a consciousness had long since lost meaning to our people. We assumed they meant that the Domination had been dissolved and absorbed.

We were wrong.

>>10399410
Your standards are unreasonable.
In the Aliens movies, a small squad of soldiers can obliterate massive nests.
In the Predator universe danny glover or the governor of florida ill fuck predator shit up, and if you happen to be a petite japanese woman you can join their warrior elite.

Again, I ask, what are these setting that are so prevalent that you feel humanity is emasculated in?

>>10399673
The first hint was that we never saw a Bryzak. A shame, I thought, as their chitinous frames were most pleasing to the ocular. The second hint was that the humans who arrived to greet us were made of meat. They had no plastic shells or steel frames, they had gone mostly unaugmented. Certainly, there were cybernetics involved, but crude and primitive by our standards. The humans had fleshy brains and pulsating torsos. They were everything unsterile and disgusting about organic matter, combined with everything repulsive and loathsome about un-thought.

>>10399692
Of course, this only raised additional questions. How had they made it this far into the cosmos without removing their organic components? The shortest trip between stars that our technology can muster takes [900 years], and requires unmanned drones or sleeping cyber-brains. These men were still wearing cloth uniforms representing their homeworlds, they could still tell us stories about their people and the mountains where they had grown up. Their ships were too small to be generational, and when we asked them to return with an answer from their government, they returned in [two hours.]

Ludicrous, we said. They were pirates or spies, we said. We did not understand until they offered to bring emmisaries back with them.

>>10399702
The humans had found a way to travel faster than light. Nigh-instantaneously, in fact. The secret to this technology boggled us until one of our scientists observed their drives. They require biological cognizance to function. Something made of flesh and blood, with all of the primitive circuitry of a [vermin] must look at the device, and make alterations to the path in-flight. We, having abandoned these primitive puppets of organic matter, had no such means of transit.

We also learned something else upon their homeworld. Mine is a scion-construct of the emissary sent to that world. These creatures are mortal, and temporary. They perish of age after no more than [150 years.] Their information is lost when they die. Sometimes sooner. How sooner, you ask?

>>10399722
They terminate each other. Often. I bore witness to it myself. One of these creatures slew another with a primitive projectile weapon as I watched, tearing the processer directly from another's skull with a bit of tungsten projected at some meager speed. I had grown to know that human rather well over our brief flight, though he was slow to process and slower to answer.

Oh, yeah, humans are AWESOME...
...Esepecially on rye with alittle mustard and tomato. Mmmmmm......

>>10399747
(COCK JUGGLING FILTERS, PART OF YOUR POST IS NOT ALLOWED LOLOLOLOL :))

>>10399747
I requested that the human be re-uploaded so that I might ask him of the experience.
"That is not how it works." "Death is permanent." That is what they told me.

>>10399786
It got worse. They also destroyed the man who had killed my friend. I saw him torn to pieces by more tungsten flechettes. I saw him gurgle up goo and scream and try to hold his piping in as he crawled away, leaving a slick of red oil behind him. I thought, 'there is an experience. I shall ask him of it,' and moved towards him, when one of their security personnel, assigned (I had thought) to guide me, stepped forward, and shot the human again, twice, in his [face].

I am told that humans do not perceive things as quickly as we do. I saw it all in detail. I saw the man's face as he saw the weapon rise. I saw him shake his head, an expression I had come to recognize as body-language (a primitive concept, I know) for 'No.' I saw him open his mouth to say something.

>>10399801
I also saw the look on the guard's face. I have seen that look before in the data-banks. The raise of one half of the mouth's upper flap, the bearing of an elongated tooth, the lowering of the brow, a narrowing of the eyes. The look, friends, was disgust.
These creatures do not only terminate their fellows, they feel justified in doing it. As justified as we did in discarding our corpses.

And it was then that I understood what had happened to the Bryzak. I did not need to ask.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smY1fQc29WU

Dont know if want...

>>10399810
(GODDAMN, I have to write this stuff all again because of the filter.)

I met with their leaders, who showed their teeth (something I am told is supposed to be a sign of happiness and welcoming) and put their limbs around me, as though giving me the opportunity to hurt them. I did not respond, of course, as I might have broken them in the process. We spoke of treaties and trade, though the latter is an antiquated idea to my people, who live without scarcity. My offers of enlightenment were brushed aside, and the official League request that our new neighbors upload some of their people was greeted with a distinctly forced 'smile', and a suggestion that it be held off.

>>10399829
I returned to my station, and reported my findings. I expect a reply in some [450 years], by which time I suspect the humans will have tripled their holdings. Brothers, our league is in peril. For 3230 years we have held the cosmos at peace. Our culture is one of artisans and poets, not warriors. Our language is one of love and analysis, not barked orders. In the time it has taken my message to reach halfway to the next closest station, the humans have expanded past my home by nearly a [parsec.]

>>10399847
Do you know how it feels to have waited 3000 years for something, and to still not be prepared? That is how I feel now. I saw those grins. I saw their teeth. I saw how the guard dispatched one of his own fellows like I would delete a file. I saw the disgust in their eyes when we offered them immortality. I saw their soldiers walk in peaceful streets, marching as one, as though preparing for war. I have seen their scout ships eyeing my station, as they seize worlds around me, and construct great fortresses on them, bristling with armaments. I do not think they expect peace from us, and why should they? They met the Bryzaks first.
By the time you receive this message, you will have met the humans. Beware them, brothers. Beware their smiles.

-Primitive laser Data-Transfer recovered by Terran science vessel in 2840, patrolling around the ruins of the Jodack home-station.
*Brought to you by TerraTech: When the galaxy treats you rough, TerraTech is there. Would you like to know more?*

>>10399670
Stopped reading at
> nation unto themself

MOTHERFUCKIN REAPERS IN MY MOTHERFUCKIN HUMANITY

Adapt. Evolve. And most importantly, assimilate.

When man looked out onto the world, he did not question how to make himself belong to it - he asked how to make it belong to him.

The first of what would soon be countless of animals we tamed was the canine. In it, we saw strength, ferocity, and loyalty. But we didn't hunch to all fours and growl at them, no - we took the canine and put into them something of our own selves. We took the wolf and made them, in the smallest way, human. We gave them names and identities where they had none. And we trained them to understand full subordination. The canine learned to give up it's life for the human.

We walked our planet, discontent with what we had. We adapted to the harshest of environments, living in places the non-humans would deem "unlivable," and doing it with the crudest technologies. We evolved to this task further, to walk across any land and live. And we assimilated. We were not nurtured by our planet, but instead nurtured it. We taught our crops to grow according to our whims. We allowed the animals to learn how best to live in servitude under us, so that they might advance their own destiny aside ours, by our wishes. Even in our religions, we forged gods not of the plants, but of ourselves. The oldest religions claim we were made in God's image, but now we know the truth - we made Him in ours.

Remember this, soldiers, when you leave this academy. This is our heritage. This is what it means to be human. The other races are content on borrowing their planets. We own them. That is our destiny - to walk alien lands, and tame them.

Copy pasta from a previous "HUMANITY IS SLAWSOME" thread

>>10399861
>Would you like to know more?
AUH OH. Y'all niggas is dealin' with some Cap Troopers tomorrow.

>>10399980
Dem niggas dealt with some cap troopers 500 years ago, apparently. This is why sublight communications are teh weak.

We made a mistake. That is the simple, undeniable truth of the matter, however painful it might be. The flaw was not in our Observatories, for those machines were as perfect as we could make, and they showed us only the unfiltered light of truth. The flaw was not in the Predictor, for it is a device of pure, infallible logic, turning raw data into meaningful information without the taint of emotion or bias. No, the flaw was within us, the Orchestrators of this disaster, the sentients who thought themselves beyond such failings. We are responsible.

It began a short while ago, as these things are measured, less than 6^6 Deeli ago, though I suspect our systems of measure will mean very little by the time anyone receives this transmission. We detected faint radio signals from a blossoming intelligence 2^14 Deelis outward from the Galactic Core, as photons travel. At first crude and unstructured, these leaking broadcasts quickly grew in complexity and strength, as did the messages they carried. Through our Observatories we watched a world of strife and violence, populated by a barbaric race of short-lived, fast breeding vermin. They were brutal and uncultured things which stabbed and shot and burned each other with no regard for life or purpose. Even their concepts of Art spoke of conflict and pain. They divided themselves according to some bizarre cultural patterns and set their every industry to cause of death.

>>10400018
They terrified us, but we were older and wiser and so very far away, so we did not fret. Then we watched them split the atom and breach the heavens within the breadth of one of their single, short generations, and we began to worry. When they began actively transmitting messages and greetings into space, we felt fear and horror. Their transmissions promised peace and camaraderie to any who were listening, but we had watched them for too long to buy into such transparent deceptions. They knew we were out here, and they were coming for us.

The Orchestrators consulted the Predictor, and the output was dire. They would multiply and grow and flood out of their home system like some uncountable tide of Devourer worms, consuming all that lay in their path. It might take 6^8 Deelis, but they would destroy us if left unchecked. With aching carapaces we decided to act, and sealed our fate.

The Gift of Mercy was 8^4 strides long with a mouth 2/4 that in diameter, filled with many 4^4 weights of machinery, fuel, and ballast. It would push itself up to 2/8th of light speed with its onboard fuel, and then begin to consume interstellar Primary Element 2/2 to feed its unlimited acceleration. It would be traveling at nearly light speed when it hit. They would never see it coming. Its launch was a day of mourning, celebration, and reflection. The horror of the act we had committed weighted heavily upon us all; the necessity of our crime did little to comfort us.

>>10400029

Part of your comment isn't allowed to be posted :(

fuck it.

>>10400067
Awww, it looks promising.

>>10400067
Other poster here. Believe it or not, I think "They Said" is the phrase.

>>10400089
That is taken from 'The Gift of Mercy'.

A video of the story was already linked above.

>>10399861
I liked it.

>>10400067
What? Is 4Chan being censored now? What the hell happened, I've been gone for less than a month and we're the goddamn Soviet Union now?

>>10400067
That copypasta is ancient and also saved in picture format.

Write something original.

>>10398381

[Garak takes a drink of root beer]
Quark: What do you think?
Elim Garak: It's vile.
Quark: I know. It's so bubbly and cloying and happy.
Elim Garak: Just like the Federation.
Quark: And you know what's really frightening? If you drink enough of it, you begin to like it.
Elim Garak: It's insidious.
Quark: Just like the Federation.

>>10400116

we have had filters for years

>>10400116
It's to stop the bots. We can't see it, but they've got the fuckers pouring in huge bricks of dialogue at like 50 posts per second now.

>>10400133
Yeah, but it's never been a problem before. Must be something mighty specific if it's actually being a problem.

>>10400129
One of my favorite scenes in the series. I've noticed that Garrak and Quark never really interact, but whenever they do, it's awesome.

>>10400156
It's getting pretty bad. Midnight Hour with The Baron died on the runway because he couldn't post his tales of genocide.

>>10400184
You mean the tales of the Ridge Wars? Yeah, I heard about it from Sarge. I was supposed to make a guest appearance on that you know. Never came together.

>>10400222
That was the thing with the group that hung the village and then killed them with rain? I was there for the first thread. It would have been glorious.

>>10400166
The whole series was my favourite part of the series. DS9 fucking rocked.

>>10400276
Yeah, that was it. It would've been a sweet project, but Kyton got pissed because nothing was working, and the poster who does Sarge is apparently on the worst shift schedule in the security industry (if you want to call being a walking insurance shelter 'security.) Not much we can do. We had plans, man. We were even lining up some illustration.

>>10400342
What the hell are you referencing? I know Sarge if you mean the allcaps elf, but who's Kyton?

>>10400371
Kyton was the guy who posted the first Tales of the Ridge Wars. It was supposed to be a stylized relaying of his D&D group's genocidal exploits in a deeply morally ambiguous campaign.
Of course, he writes like a sack of wet kittens on a Chinese keyboard, so he needed a writefag. He got me.
Then he needed a faceman (or face-elf) with star power and a penchant for axe-murdering. He got Sarge.

>>10400413
Well, sorry it didn't work out. I've always wanted to see some adventurers gone wrong stories, get a bit of Schadenfrued in before breakfast.

>>10400447
It might work out yet. Kyton's MIA, but Sarge is under all beds at all times, awaiting all parents. She'll be back, and I'll see about doing something then. Won't be quite as fun without Chainey, though.

Humanity. That's the word they use to call themselves. Only 4 syllables. So short, so.. brief. Which totally disguises their true nature.

We are the longest-lived creatures on our world. We live 35 long cycles at most, and that because our breeding programs have boosted our longevity far beyond it's natural state.

How were we supposed to be prepared to deal with creatures that are still alive after 4000 cycles have come and gone?

>>10400543
>okampa vs kazon in voyager

>>10400543

At first contact, they promised to return soon. And to them it, probably did seem soon. Civilizations rose and fell in their absence. Our memories of them had faded into the realm of myth and legends by the time they returned. The first satellite crew to spot them was thought to have gone mad; truly they could not have seen something out of the old tales?

But they had. The humans had returned, and we once again had been caught off-guard, completely unprepared for them.

This time, they brought ambassadors. They built a small embassy, and waited. They waited half a cycle before beginning serious negotiations. When they asked us why we did not recognize them, we were confused. We thought they referred to their race, that we had forgotten of their existence. When we told them that the mists of time had not entirely obscured our knowledge, they thought we were joking.

That was when the vast disparity in our races became apparent.. they easily could live through a hundred of our lives! Had we not carefully suppressed the information and prevented the masses of hearing of it, our civilization could have collapsed. Even to this day, one of our ordinary citizens knows nothing of this.

We fear that this may have insidious effects upon the relationship between our species. The humans, with their long-term plans, may be able to slowly steer our civilization as we see fit. And there is nothing we can do about it.

They offer to help us to colonize the stars. Is this altruism, or do they wish to use us to further some unknowable end we cannot comprehend. Most terrible of all, perhaps they may see us as pets. I once had an insect colony that I kept in a bottle, perhaps they see us similarly...

The Diary of Triklane'evenekelek, Head diplomat in the 243rd cycle ASC (After Second Contact)

>>10400543
>>10400788

Rate my writefaggotry?

>>10401002
Good, begs for more, and yet is good left open as-is. You could take this idea and run with it, but otherwise I'd archive it among the HFY that actually gets archived.

As a writer, you have talent and should keep at it!

This from someone trying to get published: just keep writing. The good stuff will show up.

>>10401039

Writer on the sly here, I'm waiting til retirement so I'll have a bit more time.

>>10401039
You forgot the part where he spends a year writing something he knows with all of his being to be excellent, and then has it shot down by a publisher.

Keep at it, but be prepared to be called a talentless Bosnian hack. Happens to everybody at least once. Happened to David fucking Gemmel. Perseverance is everything.

>>10401108
>Bosnian Hack
SERBIAN DETECTED.

>>10401108
>>10401137

OH SHI-

>>10401137
I don't even know where those places are.

>>10401108
>Happened to David fucking Gemmel.

He dead now :'( i wish he could of written more john shannow books

>>10401199
I only read Legend. You know he wrote it while he had cancer, and had to change the ending because he lived?
My favorite Sword & Sorcerery ever.

>>10401212
legend is god teir...read the others in the series, king beond the wall and one or 2 others.

The awesome thing is that all his books tie-in in the slightest of ways. Some times its only one sentence. And the last waylander book ties into Legend even know it is like 1000years apart

>>10401186
South of Hungary, north of (spit) Kosovo.

>>10401247
>Kosovo
If it's any consolation, it's a lot less funny for us here in America after the Georgia thing.

>>10401212
Legend was my favorite thing he wrote. Waylander comes in at a close second, with the rest of the Druss books trailing somewhere behind.
White Wolf and the others... Well. I'm iffy. They weren't really as heartfelt. They all bear reading anyway, because eventually you get a really complete picture of the meta-tale that Gemmel was trying to tell. Talisman will also cause your skull to implode when you hit the end of his story.

>>10401278
Oh no, it requires no consolation. The government was mad to see them go, but nobody else was. Gave us an excuse to close the border and keep the fucking Muslims out. Nothing against them, you understand, but there was a lot of tension before. Now we've got America standing over in the corner with a bat, just in case anybody starts shit.

>>10400096
wat.

huh. Don't care for the narrator's voice.

>>10401186

I do, only because that area is where I get my guns from.

>>10399828
HER VOICE IS LIKE NAILS SCRATCHING DOWN MY FUCKING SOUL. I WANT TO SHOVE PENCILS IN MY EARS.

Humans have no specialised biolgical warrior types and no natural weapons. However, some humans join warrior castes to train and discipline themselves in military arts, which combined with remarkable human endurance levels make them extremely effective fighters and soldiers. Pictured - a member of a supreme warrior caste of the Federation of Ru-Sha demontrating offensive use of the human braincase.

Humans are known for their unorthodox use of their own bodies, using orifices for things not immediately obvious to non-humans.

The human concept of "buttseks" has recently taken root in many orbitals and colonies influenced by human culture and has perhaps become one of their most cherished exports.

>>10401636

FUCK YES, SOMEONE ELSE USES THAT TERM.

>>10401693
>buttsex
>export
Not sure how you can export that but I'm ok with it.

>>10401754
Pretty sure it's a reference to the first ever humanity fuck year thread. a human crushes a bug like alien with his brain case.

>>10401693
Yes, only humans could possibly invent sexual gratification without conceiving young.

>>10401890
Given what we know of xenobiology, sure.

>>10398381
ok, can we have some awesome stories?

like the Veil of Madness, it's always related.

>>10405605
this one?

>>10398597
I approve, sir writefag

>>10406067
It would have been useful when this thread had writefags that might actually have picked that up.

goddamn OC in a HFY. good stuff writefags,
love yer work

>>10406067
I larf'd.
Got any more?

>>10406067
.... Glorious. It's glorious. BEAUTIFUL.

>>10406067
Oh god that's awesome. Imagine a Human ship treading beyond the veil, and finding a alien ship in distress with a blown engine? They'd totally shit themselves when a "massive" human ship drifts up, and sends out a com burst.

"*PREPARE TO RECEIVE ASSISTANCE.*"

And then it docks with them, and freaking 12-ft tall dudes in black power armor march into the ship, fix the engine, and leave.

>>10408734
Bonus points if he's somehow named Darth Mechanicus, but tells everyone to call him Joe.

>>10408734
>>10408891
The whole setting would be epic, as long as it doesnt take itself too seriously.

FUCK YEAH WHITE PEOPLE

>>10406067
Someone write more...

This one is my personal contribution.

Brilliant one is brilliant.

This is the only other one I have that hasn't already been posted.

>>10408734
Human ships have a reputation for an unprecedented mass and feature a distinct shape. They're several times larger than their nearest equivalent, and many of their smallest vessels often dwarf even military grade ships.
They are all painted in a black reflective coating which makes them incredibly difficult to pick up on sensors.

Mass Sensors go wild in the presence of Human ships, often displaying unreliable and inaccurate readings. Alien scientists believe that human ships must use a type of artificial mass regulation which allows them to build ships to such degrees. Trillions of galactic credits are spent each year attempting to replicate this technology, but there have been no significant inroads.

Which amuses Humans to no end, seeing as it's all a trick. The entire exterior of many human ships are just a massive Hollow shell. Their "Doomsday Weapons"? Standard off the shelf civilian grade cannons. The REAL ship? A simple merchant tug.

more writefags.
I demand more!

Number 1 reason you know your species is awesome

Long live the Empire.

>>10410086

To bad the empire got pwnd because of spok.
now they will become some federation pussy analogue, if they can get rid of the yoke

>>10410331
That's just DS9 propaganda. Don't believe them.

>>10410371
Too bad it's cannon.

But i always liked how enterprise NX ended.
"I am the new Empress"-
The NX design was also imo far superior to any other enterprise ( if only they have dropped the frigging microscopue for the sensors.)

At any rate. Star Wrek is actualy a far more better one . :))

>>10410467
I don't know what you're talking about.

Also,
>cannon

Lloth be praised!
(this makes disturbing amounts of sense)

>>10410467
This shit was so awesome. I even bought the Imperial Edition... And was disappointed with the ship designs. They should've left the old ones and just make them higher quality.

Star Trek ships should be slender and elegant. Even evil ones.

>>10410848
What the hell am I looking at here?

Alright you synkt maggots, listen up. I know you're now all soldiers of the Technocracy, finest of the race and all that hrkh. Now that the war with the Draxon Confederacy

has taken a turn for the worst, you younglings will be deploying alongside our new human allies. Next stop is Fargus Prime, you're being attached two units of Terran Heavy

Armour and a detachment of the 365th Heavy Drop Infantry.

I hear you scoff and say what a paltry few soldiers and vehicles could possibly do.I know the barrack room tales of the Terrans, how they are stupid apes, lacking

refinement both culturally and with regard to their military doctrine. How the bumble with their crude technology and that they are undisciplined kraan-of-all trades,

lacking the distinct specialisation of our Fire-Breathers or Ground-Strikers among other of our Legion's most revered warrior castes. But let this old-claw tell you this:

DO...NOT...UNDERESTIMATE THEM.

You see, I was a mere Rokh-Krahn, fresh out of boot when I fought against the humans on Thraxium Secundus. Horgar front for [three months] in the opening. Never have I

witnessed such horror. The fighting became bogged down, neither side could gain ground. You see, this was a completely alien theatre of war for us. Legion doctrine

stresses light fast strikes, decisive surprise assaults with surgical precision, supported by flyers. On the first day we struck out across open fields. By the seventh we

were fighting over a blasted, burned waste. By the second week, the humans had a position so strongly entrenched neither concentrated Air/Ground assaults could break them,

while the line companies crudely imitated human defence-works. By the end of the month, the humans had built, across the [14 kilometre] front, an impenetrable line of

defences. The land between our lines was a blasted hellscape, slurried mud, dead bodies, vehicle wrecks, razor-wire and lakes of blood.

>>10410873
I still have a copy of when they just used actual trek ship models in that film.

>>10411014
On the eigth week the stalemate was broken. It started at night. [Twelve] unceasing [hours] of massed bombing and artillery. Some of our Narl-Sarr shot themselves out of despair that they had led their men and armies to slaughter. Command was shot to the seven hells by the time the assault began. For a whole [minute] there arose an ear-splitting cry from the Terran lines. As one, the whole human army arrayed against us and charged the [800 metres] screaming like pack-carnivores. We must have killed
thousands of them before they hit our lines. Still they came, an unceasing wave of bodies, united in one common, unshakable purpose. Victory or Death. Our line didn't last[1 hour]. Our Narl-Sarrs surrended to whatever human they came across, from highest jenn-ar-arl to lowliest pry-vatt. My [platoon] Ort-Hahn surrended to an enlisted zar-jent. Our Legion's have never experienced a worse disgrace. The "war", if you could call it that barely lasted [6 months].

The strangest thing was when they went through the prisoners. We expected to be killed our worse. To our surprise, the Terrans we had been only recently trying to kill were now walking among of us as kinforms, joking, tending to our wounded, feeding and clothing us, treating us like brood-mates. These humans who had been throwing themselves upon us tooth and fist were now our friends. They abandoned all hate and resentment. I ask one of their feel'd-med-ickz tending to my friend, why did they spare us. He smiled back "We're both of us only doing our jobs.". Humans are strange, they will one moment stop at nothing to end your existence, only to later embrace you as a trusted ally, they can love and rage in equal measure.

>>10411052
Cycles later, I was attached as a exchange liason to the human 101st Drop Troopers during the Yrrga insurgency. The loo-ten'ant and his platoon was trapped in a ditch by heavy Yrrga fire. I asked what would be his tactical decision. He tore off his combat helm, with a look of joy on his face, grinning from ear to ear. He shouted "HEY BOYS! Techno here wants to know what our next course of action is!You hear that! Well I say we show those bug-eyed sons of bitches WHY YOU DON'T FUCK WITH HUMANITY! PREP 'NADES AND FIX BAYONETS!" I was left stupified as his men did as told. His braincase completely exposed to fire and bereft of his tactical computer, the loo-ten'ant activated his jump pack and soared into the sky screaming like a madman as his men followed without hesitation. I and my adjutant watched from cover as the Humans descended into the Yrrga and laid into them with blade and bullet. No Yrrga survived that encounter, any that broke and ran were gunned down. It seems the Humans had grown more mad and blood thirsty since I last saw them in battle. One pry-vatt told me, power armour covered in Yrrga ichor and with a pile of dead burning in the night behind him: "Well that was fun, huh Techno?". The look on his face gives me nightmares to this day.

>>10411074
Here be the lesson. The humans will not stop at anything to kill you if they feel justified in it. The Yrrga genocide of Terran colonies was deemed acceptable cause to crush them mercilessly. But they will openly accept your friendship. When the Universe and The Maker grants you a deal like that, you grahk-well take it. Terrans have been killing each others for thousands of years, their economies run on it, they have elevated war-making to a science. But they know the cost of war, and do not wage it needlessly, contrary to what the Technocracy body politic thinks of the pointless wars we've been fighting for generations. Sleep well tonight, if these old ghost stories don't scare you, pontificate on this: Humans have killed one another for aeons, if there is one thing they know, it is the art of death. Remember that when you drop in with the 365th. This war won't last long.

>>10411014
>>10411052
>>10411074
>>10411097

Rate my writefaggotry?

>>10411004
Awesomeness.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aij02fmktHk&fmt=5
If you can ignore the lyrics the music is pretty fitting.

>>10411121
Tasty the last post was abit unnecessary though.

>>10411350
Just wanted to close off the whole "drill sergeant talking to soldiers" shtick and flesh out the alien culture/history a bit.

Only good episode of Voyager.

When i read that about the jetpacks i could only think of "TO THE SKY!" and "DEATH FROM ABOVE" and the sound of chainswords, nades and the painful wailing of the enemy. Good writefag skills, I could almost see it.

Zorry Humie, i kan't hear you over the WAAAHG!!! of how awezome i am.

Mirror Spock approves of this thread.

humans make good food, pizza and bacon

you could behave little better though, yeah?

I fucking love Humanity Fuck Yeah threads.

Thanks /tg/, you made my night all the more sweeter <3

>>10411456
What episode is that?

>>10411861

I think it's the one where the Doctor gets re-activated in the future and the planet he's on thinks that Voyager was a warship and everyone onboard was evil.

>>10411873
I loved that episode. wish they'd done more with the concept. Like an entire evil VOY arc

>>10411873
>everyone onboard was evil.

Well, Janeway was evil, or at least just chaotic crazy, everyone else was just stupid. Except the doctor. Most of the time.

>>10411873
Evil Janeway >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Janeway

>>10411932
>implying Janeway was ever not an evil bitch

I feel seditious when I say that this is just silly wankery...

>>10411942
Yeah but she was mighty hotter as evil Janeway

>>10411976
>implying you wouldn't have violated her Prime Directive in any other episode.

>>10411928
They should make a whole goddamned series based on the Mirror Universe.

well, humans are superior over all alien and fantasy races
because all alien and fantasy races are just an extreme of one or more human attribute(s)

>>10411991
Janeway isnt hot.. she's reminds me more of the strict grade school teacher than any sort of sex symbol.

>>10398566
apostrophes, the latest code update can't handle them when copy-pasted, only when posted. allegedly they're different characters as far as the code cares.

>"Fuck yeah humanity!"
You know, it's really not any different from nationalism or racism. The only reason people get into this is that they want to associate themselves with the positive aspects of people or achievements that they can't actually take credit for because they didn't actually contribute to them.

>>10412013
>implying strict grade school teachers aren't sex symbols

>>10412003
Indeed. In real any aliens we meet will either be less than cave-men or they'll be techno-gods.

>>10412016
>implying anyone cares about the opinions of a race traitor

>>10412013
Believe me she is very hot. Both as a milf and as a "strict grade school teacher"

>>10412022
>strict grade school teachers aren't sex symbols

>>10412025
they're probably just the same as us
maybe a century behind or forward
but in the end it will be extremly boring
and they will take our jobs

Janeway has never been sexy to me. Puffy cheeks and her hair is always in a bun. Not a turn on.

>>10412044
>Believe me

No.

>>10412057
A furry picture? Are you going through some sort of self-trolling?

>>10412063
No. Statistically the chances are, if we encoutner intelligent life at all, that it will either be incredibly more advanced than we are (possibly millions or even more than a billion years) or it will be incredibly primitive compared to us, IE: cave men.

>>10412067
feh, buns are even hotter.
Different fetishes for different people i guess.

ps. wtf? Furry? get that out of here.

>>10412016

That sounds like heresy to me...

I prefer the type of FUCK YEAH HUMANITY that emphasises balls over physical build or intelligence.

A guy who decides to ram his spaceship into the enemy is infinitely more badass than someone who wins through superior weaponry and all that bullshit.

>>10412181
Guy 1: Wins through strategy, cunning, and intelligence. Loses at most, ammo.

Guy 2: smashes into the enemy with his ship. Loses most operation of said ship, and needs heavy repairs at least.

Oh yeah, badass.

>>10412067
She looks better in a bun

>>10412181

Star Trek: First Contact

Worf on the Defiant in the big battle at the beginning "Perhaps today IS a good day to die! RAMMING SPEED!"

>>10412219
>>10412181

>>10412219

Guy 1 is incredibly boring, and probably doesn't last long in bed.

>>10412219
Badassery is usually stupid.

I like my HFY with lots of marvelous bastard sprinkled in.
I don't care that much for the whole too biologically superior bit, it's somehow too easy, "cheap" in a sense.
You know like how you don't play games on easy difficulty setting.

>>10412243

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFxGPI1Uvlg

Terra is a backwater swamp in a backwater galaxy.

>>10412219

HFY doesn't always have to be about humans being superior, or winning. Its about humans being awesome.

>>10412219

Have you read The Charge of The Light Brigade?

They got fucking slaughtered but they were still fucking balls to the wall awesome.

>>10412380
You are now hearing The Trooper

>>10411993
That'd be so sweet.

>>10412520

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEz77hoQt9M
'Live long and prosper'
'BLAM!'

One of my favourite epsiodes was the Enterprise mirror episode. Simply because it showed how badass the Constitution class actually was. Something you never really got to see all that much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl5zw6fGjdA
Love the music in the intro. Superior to any other ST music.
I even have it on my mp3 player.

>>10412091
> Statistically the chances are, if we encoutner intelligent life at all, that it will either be incredibly more advanced than we are (possibly millions or even more than a billion years) or it will be incredibly primitive compared to us, IE: cave men.

That relies on a large set of assumptions about things being random and evenly distributed, that the development of intelligence is pretty much open ended and progresses linearly. The idealized statistical guesswork starts unraveling if anything turns out to be nonlinear or clumpy/bursty in reality. Like, say, intelligence evolving in short spurts spread out by long plateaus.

IMO, what matters more is whether it's a "they find us" first contact or a "we find them" first contact; in the former, they're likely to be more advanced than us, in the latter we're likely to be more advanced than them. Kinda common sense really.

>>10412817
>implying that star trek even bothers to try to make an over the top universe simply for the rule of cool

Have you even watched star trek?

Don't mind me, just postan stuff...

>>10412918
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbJ-y6BWfUc&feature=related

>>10412918
Suddenly, salvaged Borg Cubes.

>>10412918
Ignoring that the UFP didn't exist 300 years before the "current" picture, using the Phoenix isn't entirely accurate. If anything, a Vulcan ship should be used, rather than one guy's ramshackle one-use warp rocket.

>>10413016
You are so smalltime.

>>10413016
SALVAGING FUCK YES
>cataclysm

SALVAGING FUCK NO

>>10413072
>>10413016
>>10413065
'sup?

>>10413055
Federation is mainly humans and Earth is its capital.

>>10398584

I'll just leave this here.

Instead of posting the archived copypastas and screencaps i have.I will ask i few question i have for you elegan/tg/tenlemen.

What makes human species special? flexibility?adaptability? willpower? intelligence?.

And more important. Why can't other theoretical alien species surpass human race in things like willpower,flexibility or intelligence?.

>>10413126

And another.

>>10413148
>>10413126

Goddamn, that is a shitty font to use.

>>10412855
lol, what? I made that in response to somebody posting an image like that with the Tau in place of the UFP for size.

The old fighter was sat outside the cafe, mug in one claw, cigar in the other and the paper in the last pair. His limbs were shaking, like a tree branch in a soft wind, despite the off-green prosthetic muscle-vine covering most of his body. He was relaxed and content, the sun was warm, the old aches weren't as bad today as they normally were and today was pension day.

Pension

The word still sounded alien to him but it was one he was becoming used to, it was just as alien to the rest of his species. Laather warriors had never come home wounded before, only dead or victorious.

(cont...)

>>10413399
A passing group of younglings passed him, shooting snide glances and worse comments at the sight of the veteran. He didn't give a fuck, he'd heard worse since the war, just another sign of how slow his people were to change. The waiter walked up to pick the empty plates off his table, tutting as he did so.

(cont, also apologies for putting this up so slowly, apparantly I cant post part of it and I dont know which fucking bits)

>>10413143

Everything you just mentioned. But the most important quality is this. Resolve. To survive. To win. To prosper in a hostile universe.

But good, honest proper H:FY is not about how humanity is better, or smarter or faster. It's not about how we're crazier or more advanced or more flexible. It's not about how much we're willing to die, or willing to kill.

Good quality H:FW is about celebrating the strengths of humanity, using an alien perspective to see them in a fresh light, because like all perfectionists sometimes we judge ourselves so harshly we see only the flaws.

Humans are nothing more than apes with overgrown brains.

We about as unoriginal as it gets, as everything relates to sex or power.

>>10413460
'I don't know how you put up with that' he said.
'I've been through worse' replied the old veteran, waving a shaking claw 'no words hurt as much as much as a wavefront travelling faster than sound.' The waiter looked understandingly at his injuries.
'The humans?' The waiter asked.
'Charlie Charlie Six' he confirmed, 'third Ebony Gorge.'
'Was it really as bad as they say?'
'Worse, much worse'
'How?' He asked. 'Tell me, please?' He sat himself down, eyes wide.

(apparantly /tg/ hates quotation marks)

>>10413523

The older Laather started cryptically. 'You know the vid-sims you all play?'
'Yes' said the confused younger waiter.
'They're easy, right? The holos are a bit too slow, a bit too predictable, even with a full server bank and a good script behind them. So you make it harder, you only play using the base weapons, the worst armour, no camouflage and with the sensor suite turned off. That way it's a challenge, you play handicapped, to ensure the holos prove to actually to be dangerous. Eventually you turn it back onto normal mode and find that practice has made you a god amongst the holo-drones, sharp and smart and deadly; due to all the training you have with nothing but the basics, when you get your hands on the right kit your are flat out untouchable. Well the humans have that attitude with war.'

'At a few times in their history they have sat people round a table, important people, statesmen and the like, and have decided to only use certain weapons against each other. They consider some weapons too cruel, some tactics too obscene. They only want to kill each other the nice way. They treat death as easy, as something to be almost pleasant to experience and wish to make it as stress free and humane as possible.'

'In retrospect this should have been our first clue that the war wasn't going to go as planned.'

>>10413555
'You see humans don't treat war like we do, like a contest. We compare strength against strength, defence against weapon and figure out who is the stronger. Sometimes this is fast, sometimes this is slow. We build better suits, stronger weapons, faster drives and throw them at the enemy. This is the right way! The honourable way! The sensible way! This way the victor is decided and concessions are made.'

'But humans don't think like this, they consider war a constant, a fact of life, just an extension of the evolutionary race to dominance. They thrive in war!. Each time they mobilise, their society jumps forwards ten, twenty, thirty years technologically and this only grows exponentially with time. The more you fight them, the better they get. They treat it exactly like your vid-sims, like it is the entertainment of existence.'

'War at it's fundamentals is simple. You design the best equipment you can, you make as much of it as you can and give it to as many recruits as you can muster. You train them, you deploy them, you find the enemy and fight, right? Wrong. At least according to humanity, seeing as they won the war I would say they get the majority vote.'

I posted this a while back, but it didn't get macroed, so forgive me if you've read it before...


They said our war with the Humans would be an easy one. For a time, they were right.
Their initial push was world-shattering. Millions of beings, armed with energy weapons comparable to ours, driving in a straight push into the heart of our empire. They called it a Lightning War.

But we fought back. The great cloning vats on Home produced hundreds of millions of soldiers, and our biotechnology soared to new heights of power. Though the Human advance pushed on, we were slowly wearing them away. The casualties came to number in the trillions on both sides, but still they pushed forwards. Until they reached Home. The fleets of the System Defence Force, in a stunning display of tactics, beheaded the Human fleet, sending them back from whence they came. A small remnant of the Human force was grounded on a distant asteroid in the Belt, unable to fight back.

Our victory firm, we were determined to humiliate Humanity for what they had done. We did not kill the Humans on the asteroid; we merely blockaded them, showing the whole galaxy the futility of standing against us. They were contained, imprisoned on the surface of the asteroid, guarded by some of the most devastating firepower we could possibly construct.

For twenty long cycles, nothing happened. Until the day our probes detected a massive explosion on the asteroid's surface. It destroyed the enicrcling defensive forces, and sent a chunk of rock more than eighty folds in diameter hurtling towards home. We desperately to halt it, but we could not stop more than three billion foldweights of mass. In the last moments before the rock hit Home, every ship in the system recieved an automated transmission, somehow shielded against the infernal radiation that veiled the rock. It was two words, uncoded, in Human.

"FUCK. YOU."

>>10413591

'In a holo-sim you have fun, you see how many drone-holos you can kill, you let them spawn and you use their stupid behaviour against them. Imagine fighting a war this way, or even worse, imagine being the holo. Imagine being treated like a dumb drone, being allowed to rush forward screaming and shooting to only find yourself in exactly the wrong place at exactly the wrong time. We never even knew where we should be. The first thing they did was hit our command. Then our logistics, our communications, our sensors. Everything but our actual soldiers. The first call for our surrender came across, we ignored it. Our officers scoffed at it and so did we. Then the artillery fell. This was new and unknown to us, it was really odd. Munitions fell at random, actually not random, but unaimed and scattered. It was a wall of fire and death that walked towards us, so we fell back. So did everyone, how do you fight a shell or a rocket falling from the sky? Our sensors were jammed and our comms were shot, we couldn't know that this was happening all the way around the battle group. We were forced back into the gorge without firing a shot.'

>>10413648

The waiter now had his mouth agape and was hanging on the old timer's every word. So was the rest of the cafe, there were Laather who had stopped in their tracks to listen in from the street. 'What happened then?' Asked one of his audience.
'Then the second call for our surrender came. I later found out this was their attempt at mercy. We laughed again at their requests, we had mark seventeen suits, combi-dura plated and fusion powered. We were stood shoulder to shoulder, all of us in this gorge. The concentration of fire would have been immense. We had cover from the gorge and we could finally see the enemy on the horizon. The fact they were staying ten miles away from us should have been a second clue that something was about to go wrong.'

'After the time had passed for our chance at salvation they just sent us one more message, three words long, 'SO BE IT.' '

'And then they destroyed us, utterly.'

>>10413634
>Spend 20 years building a big-ass bomb to blow your asteroid prison into their homeworld
>Just because I lost doesn't mean I can't take you down with me, motherfucker

This is exactly how I deal with problems.

>>10413663

'You see the gorge we had been so easily coerced into wasn't a feature chosen at random, some geological fluke chosen for no reason. It had been prepared, booby trapped, for our arrival. There was a multi megaton nuke hidden in the valley floor and the combination of the walls of the gorge and the press of armour above the device ensured that near as no one survived. 98% casualties they told me. I only survived as I was 100 feet up as an airborne spotter. They found me half an hour later and fifty miles away, waist deep in the swamp that I landed in. I was in their captivity for three more months, I got to see this happen again and again and again. It didn't matter that our new suits were so powerful that they made anything we had previously obsolete, that they used so much power that if the containment failed they would level a building in the explosion. It didn't matter that we redesigned and rearmed and came back again, bigger and better and stronger. They beat us with free flight artillery, with a few EMP bursts and with contemptuous ease.'

'Do you know what was even worse? They held no grudge, wanted no revenge. They didn't torture or kill me for sport. They thought we were only doing our job, that we were no worse then they were. When the war was over they won reparations, a trade agreement, free passage and worst of all, they won fair treatment for us all. They gave us humanity and they have changed us forever. How can I fight a pension? How can my grandchildren fight a free education?' He waived a shrivelled arm covered in prosthetic muscle-vine and asked the assembled people 'How do I fight a second life and a new start?' No answer met him.

His cigar had gone out now, his brew had gone cold and his paper was yesterdays news. The old veteran shuffled off from his gap mouthed crowd, their expressions shocked and their voices muted. His shoulders were slumped, his mood sullen. The memories sometimes hurt more than the wounds.

>>10413688
Humanity: we'll befriend the shit out of you whether you like it or not!

When did Humanity, Fuck yea! become Humane actions, Fuck Yea!??

>>10413766
worked against germany, we're too much of a pussy species to go full genocide any more

Bump....FOR HUMANITY

It wasn't until I was invited to study with them that I came to understand the edge the humans had over our own kind. In an attempt to understand the species better I took a course at one of their universities in 'ahn throw pology', the science by which the humans seek to understand their ancestors.
Apparently in their primitive hunter-gatherer days it was common for their young to undergo a ritual initiation into adulthood. The exact ritual varied from tribe to tribe of course, but they tended to have a common theme. Some degree of suffering. They hurt their young, teaching them that life was pain to make them an adult.
The net effect, however, was more subtle. It's the ability to think ahead. To note 'I will endure this, and gain the benefit of adulthood'. Those who could not would be cast out from the tribe, or they would flee before they were exiled.
Before they had writing, when they had only the most basic language and tools, humans started to select for imagination. Those who could imagine things will be better if I suffer now would be the ones who got to breed.
This, for me, is the cornerstone of human achievement. It's now firmly encoded into their DNA, in a way the very foundation of human-ness. The ability not just to view the universe as it is, but how it could be, at depth and in detail.
My advice is simply this: Make sure that they imagine a universe where you are their friends. Or they may find a way to imagine a universe where you do not exist.

>>10413768
I see no difference between the first and the second.

>>10413815
Not true, we'll full genocide, but we gotta have a DAMN good reason for it.

in WWII, we bombed German Military Targets.
During day, to both be badass, and to help try to minimize civvie casualties.
We Firebombed japan's ... well every building. We knew they had horse and buggy firefighting, 1800's style tech. So, we firebombed the shit outta that place. We were prepared to level that island, to little more than bedrock, if they didn't surrender. Americans were out for blood.

>>10413688

>>10413860
hmm. never thought about it that way.

>>10413887

Granted, this is the first HFY there was. Human-human interaction, but we made one group of people, who NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER! DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR! VICTORY, OR NOTHING! go "Fuck me, holy shit! I quit! I quit!"

>>10413945
This post is an accurate depiction of August 1945.

>>10413887
Nevermind the fact that entire cities were left as nothing ruins, but yeah. That's WWII for ya.

>>10413634
>>10413686
This is the kind of attitude that I like seeing in HFY threads. More of this.

Now don't get me wrong... the illathrod have some of the finest covert-operations units in the known galaxy. But the humans? The humans have something else entirely.

It was only [ten minutes] into that first skirmish, that first contact battle between the humans and the illathrod, that the illathrod lost contact with two of their heavy cruisers. The Endeavour and the... Justice, I think it was.

Up until then the humans had been unsurprising. Some novel formations, some weapons with more punch than was anticipated, but nothing the Empire couldn't handle.

>>10414631

So as I was saying, they lost contact with the heavy cruisers. This is always annoying in a battle but it does happen. Barriers were still up, engines were still on... so nobody panicked. They had capable crews and everybody knew the game plan: greet these apes with guns blazing and negotiate from a position of strength.

Outnumbered and with smaller ships to boot, the humans seemed stunned by the illathrod aggression... they held their line but wouldn't charge into range of the illathrod guns.

Then the Endeavour starts to drift. Communications still down, engines slow, but the manoeuvre thrusters are going crazy. It moves into position behind the illathrod capital ship, the Monument. And then the Justice, it does the same thing! But this one takes position on the starboard side of the Monument, far closer than regulations allow.

At this point the bridge starts to panic, something could be seriously wrong. The human commander attempts to establish communications with the Monument but gets declined: the illathrod are more worried about this technical issue.

>>10414654

So they send a light cruiser to investigate the Justice, but when they get there it's too late. It starts to roll, and as it brings its port battery up against the Monument, it's own capital ship, the illathrod see these huge black scars on the belly of the Justice. Same on the Endeavour.

And then they open fire. On the Monument.

The Endeavour's spinal cannon puts a slug the size of a frigate right into the Monument's primary thruster. Now at that range, aimed at that part of the ship, you don't need me to tell you that some serious damage was done. That slug tore through the full length of that dreadnought as the Justice opened fire: illathrod later claimed that the humans aimed for the escape pods on purpose but either way... nothing got off that ship alive.

>>10414676

At this point Command is going crazy. And that's when the human fleet attacks. With the Monument blown to dust and the Endeavour and Justice shooting on other illathrod ships it was a total rout, everybody got to safe FTL distance as fast as they could. Some didn't even risk that... there were some collisions in the retreat.

It took the Empire months to piece together what had happened, it was a complete scandal. Before the first shots were even fired, low-speed human stealth-pods had already passed through the shields of those two ships. They cut through the hull right at the base of the communications tower and then this... what's the human phrase... this is the part with "balls". About a dozen human soldiers board each of the ships from those pods.

We're talking heavy cruisers here, crews of two to three hundred. And they never stood a chance. Humans take the bridge and hold it - for the duration of the battle - against the compliment of illathrod troops on board. They somehow take control of the ship... we think they used an AI but they've never admitted it... and then use the two illathrod ships to decapitate the fleet.

So I guess what I'm trying to say... is that when you leave the hive, never take a human at face value. They won't normally screw you over, mind, but there's always a long term plan. Always a backup, a way for them to be the last man standing. Just look at the illathrod today... the sorry bastards. Don't you make their mistake.

>>10414691

Space Marines....

The invented popsicles.

That's it.

>>10398381

>>10414972

FUUUCK YEEEAAAHHH

SPACE 4CHAN !

bump for awesome.

This thread must carry on.

I've always liked the idea of a species that was a bit more technologically ahead of us that felt pretty smug about the Xeno/Human relationship dynamic. Things start out okay, our ships contact each other. Communication is made, warily and tense, but soon the Xenos realize that they have better tech. The Xeno leaders learn of this and start scheming to exploit us, making us pay through the nose for a blaster several generations old.

The first official meeting between the Xeno Council and the Human ambassador is set into motion. Time, location, topics of discussion, guest lists, food, and mutually survivable environmental conditions are set (humans agree to not expel methane and the Xenos agree to allow oxygen into the atmosphere).

Gonna continue...

>>10414972
You should replace the Therians with a whole galaxy and a semitransparent smiley in the center

>>10418383
A trivial matter that the Xenos agreed upon with little thought was an exchanging of gifts. This would be done personally, between the Human ambassador and the council. One of the younger council members was lauded for his cunning choice of a three ton statue made of the element the Humans called "gold." This council member had briefly met a human during some of the first interactions between out peoples and was explained the idiom "good as gold." The Xeno home planet had lakes of the stuff, kept liquid by the voltaic processes of the land. The council would give this lump of highly expendable, mostly useless, metal to a race that was quickly becoming known for carrying out mass-slaughter for it.

The Human ambassador, a woman who's audio identifier was un-pronouncable to the Xenos, showed up with an assistant carrying a large, 5 ft. long black box with a distinctive and odd shape. She carried a small folder willed with some kind of code made up of lines and dots.

>>10418598
>>10418383
>a race that was quickly becoming known for carrying out mass-slaughter for it

>implying we'd go slaughter more advanced alien races for a few piddly tons of gold when it'd be way easier to go mine that shit

>>10418455
I think they actually rearranged the Milky way in the shape of a giant penis.

I mean, it's what space 4chann would have done. unless it's a giant smilie.

>>10418743
we'd kill each other trying to decide that, then before we know it it's a pedobear silhouette

I've dealt with a few humans before, and they are as people say- to a degree. They are extremely proficient soldiers. War is and has been integral to their being from the very beginning, and their history honed it down to a science. There have been competing technological advances, but only humans truly ever had an "arms race." We see it in their strange weapons: chemically propelled kinetic penetrators. They are completely independent of electrical power, and though messier or perhaps less elegant than a combat laser or mass driver, are very effective. The most efficient weapons in known space, perhaps.

But I digress.

This species is built for stamina, which is more to my point. Humans are good soldiers simply because they can carry on long after most other species are spent. Humans are the only ones who use infantry on a large scale, and to great effect; simply because a human can march for miles carrying fifty, sixty pounds of equipment. Even the Kraguhsnk can't match that, and they are the most muscular baseline we know of. What humans get little credit for, however, is food.

Food is as integral as war; home recipes and food preparation are core concepts to humanity and their tongues are far better suited to the nuance of flavor than any other. Simply more taste buds. Presenting a gift of food is a common thing, and for a pair to share a meal is a ritual of courtship. Sometimes food is involved in sexual practices, and this is no myth. It brings me, rambling as I may, to my point:

Leave him.

Leave that human mate of yours, my comrade, simply because he is a dangerous lover. Yes, he is "delightfully quirky." Yes, he doesn't mind that you are Avnari. Yes, your peoples have a long history together, even in mating. If there is one thing the J'hronvr have a hold on, it's biosociology; he could kill you if you are not careful.[ctd]

Gives a whole new meaning to glowing dicks and black holes

>>10418598
The ambassador was impressed, nay stunned with the statue. She had a short drop of composure as she profusely thanked the council for their generosity and apologized for the worthlessness of her own gift.

The council politely thanked her and assured her that they would appreciate her gift for generations to come. The poor girl could not have known that their words dripped with sarcasm, as studying Xeno body language hadn't even been attempted yet. She bent forward, held the odd position for a moment, then straightened up. The next words she spoke would go down in Xeno history as the dawning of a new age.

"My gift to you, Xeno High Council members, is this: Bach's Cello Suite No. 1."

Then she opened the odd container, brought out a large, wooden device, a smaller baton with some threads attached, and sat down in a chair. A metal stand held the folder in front of her, she pressed the baton to the fibers of the larger object...

...and she played

Humanity has always known the spectare of, and it has made us strong.
For us to retain our strength there must be war.
That's how it is, was, and always must be. And to believe otherwise is folly.
If other races are not so cursed, then they are also not as blessed.

>>10418822
If you won't listen to me, at least let me properly prepare you. Firstly, have potable water nearby. Passing the first hour you will be dehydrated, and passing the second it will be dangerous. Secondly, train your muscles. His mass is greater than yours and with a greater density- if you are not hale and whole, you could wind up with many painful bruises following the mating throes. Thirdly, lubricate. I don't care what anyone says, you will need it. Your orifices will thank you. Your ovotract, in particular, will thank you. Fourthly, this is for this human in particular, ease into things! I have looked into his past and he has studied a codex known as the "Kama Sutra"- I can only guess as to how he has applied it. Bring extra water, start off slow. I know you are eager.

Oh, and if you let him preen you, for the love of Mgorago, make sure he is gentle!

Trust me on this. If not in solidarity with a fellow female, who can you trust?

-Jiwa Oma

Xeno loli ;3

>>10418935
DAMN YOU FOR GIVING ME BONER!

To cum boldly where no man has come before!

Man can to the crossroads of his fate, a place where many paths to the future diverged. He saw the prints upon the road and marked the passage of others that came before him. Some paths would lead to ruin, some to decadence and decay, others to glory and thunder. Some roads were steep and others easy, but all were long and winding. He saw the paths that others had taking, saw were some tracks split into many and followed several paths. But he knew in his heart that these paths were not for him. So he took out his knife and hacked into the undergrowth beside the steepest path. At first the going was slow and he imagined that he heard others walk past on the paths and deride his arrogance. But he ignored such delusions, and soon the going was easier. Although the brush was thicker now and the ground even steeper, he seemed to sprint up the incline. His arm no longer felt fatigue and his legs had grown strong and his feet sure, though he had never stopped to rest. And at last he did bother to cast a glance over his shoulder and saw no paths to his left or right. He stopped and looked back, and now he saw the paths. They were so far below now that they looked like the thin trains left in the grass by worms or snakes. He was beyond them and so far above that he could not seen one path along the mountainside that came to half of his own height. He turned around without regret and continued on his way.

>>10418845
As a cellist, I appreciate this. It's beautiful, dynamic, and underrated. Sir, you have my thanks!

We are in dire need. Our foes are closing for the kill, and there is nothing that a gentle race such as ours can do to stop the enemies arrayed against us. We have only one hope, it is a pity that we cannot pronounce that name of our prospective saviors. We do not know if they still live, but because of them we have hope. Our enemies are strong, so we must call upon someone even stronger.
We are the only race residing in this immense spiral galaxy, but long ago it was not so. There were once many races that strode these stars. It is said that in days long past, powerful forces screamed across the stars and entire galaxies burned at their whim. But those times are gone forever for there is little fuel left to burn. These ancient things had immense power, for they were born in the fires of the cosmos youth. We who came after are but a pale imitation of the life they knew in the elder days when the stars still shown in vibrant blue and yellow instead of drab reds.

Cock Juggling?

...and that, students, was how humanity made first contact with the Sullae Empire. they claimed to have established dominance over the galactic species with their own physical strenght. well, let me tell you this; the elite sullae soldier is no stronger than the average human.

This can be explained by the low gravity most galactic species have been exposed to. the Vaer, for instance, need special pressure suits to treat with us. our gravitational field would crush their bones. Of course, when they threatened conquest, we used this to our advantage.

You see, during first contact, the humans interviewed by the Sullae military were nothing but scientist working at a backwater jupiter station. they were researching hyperspace technology on the isolated moon of Europa. the Sullae laughed at first, as their vessels were already beyond all that we knew.

Now this is when it gets interesting.

>>10419247
Somebody started a new thread.

HFY = yet another strain of cancer

hidden

>>10419787
You know, you could just hide the thread and not post something utterly stupid and irrelevant, but I suppose that's too hard for your feeble little brain and ego.

Why, with the amount of good writefaggotry in here, has this thread not been archived?

>>10420755
Sup/tg/ isn't cooperating with me, or I would do it.

>>10419787
Aww, baby gonna cry?

>>10419787
Thanks for the bump, house-negro.

>>10420773
Yeah, Sup/tg/ refuses to work for me. Saved this thread and the next one as .txt files so the writing will not be lost.

suptg is not uploading dammit

HFY

Consider this;
As humans advance into space, we may meet hostile alien races, we will war with them, sometimes winning, sometimes losing. But there will come a point, a point at which a soldier or group of soldiers, alone on an inhospitable planet, having exhausted their rations and with no hope of timely resupply will have only one thing to eat. The bodies of their fallen foes. Should the meat prove tasty then no what happens next is no longer warfare, it's agriculture.

>>10421790
ever seen Bad Taste?

>>10421803
::Noise of chainsaw::
"I born again!"

>>10421803
Oooo, Peter Jackson.

Religions, as so many other things,
Began when Man looked at the skies and said
"I belong there. I am one with the Gods"

So man rose from the ground to build a new home for himself,
In the cold, dark depths of Space.
And he brought hope to those dark places,
Expecting that this ascension, this enlightenment,
Would unify and strengthen him.

But the Darkness fought back,
And Man turned on Man.

Metal behemoths roamed the skies,
Gorging themselves on lesser creatures.
And somewhere along the line,
We found our true nature.

For Man is the Destroyer of things,
And the vicious Master of his savage domain.

We have our own place in the universe,
And it is a dark, cruel role we play.

We are the Revolutionaries.
We are the Usurpers to the Heavenly Thrones.
We are the Enemies of the Gods.

Bloody Omir ran away
Hiding from the light of day
Made a base out in the night
Far far from the Empire's might
Holders think they all are safe
Protected by the Emp'ror's grace
Silly people, they should know
You shall reap just what you sow
Bloody Omir's coming back
Monsters from the endless black
Wading through a crimson flood
Omir's come to drink your blood

there are some new writefags here.
someone arhive this

>>10398381

This shit's still going on?

>>10426199

New Thread Here: >>10419247