rolled 82 = 82

What the fuck kind of die do we roll? I'll go with male, and roll a d100.

>>10182111
d100

How do I roll?

rolled 24 = 24

Female

rolled 22 = 22

female

rolled 18 = 18

>>10182138

dice+1d100 in the E-Mail field

rolled 3 = 3

Male for the winnings.

>>10182122
Male. What is his name?

rolled 5 = 5

>>10182166
Derp

rolled 6 = 6

>>10182166

Alexander Graham Bell

rolled 94 = 94

>>10182166

Sweeney.

>>10182198
His name is Sweeny.
Does he have a nickname?

rolled 21 = 21

Hamilton DeMelgar

rolled 23 = 23

>>10182208

Judge Fudge

rolled 58 = 58

yes. sweeny the wizard
>>10182208

rolled 59 = 59

Smoove Operator

rolled 91 = 91

>>10182208
Tod

rolled 7 = 7

>>10182208
The Mad Hatter

>>10182227
Everyone calls him Sweeny the Wizard.
How old is he?

rolled 77 = 77

>>10182242
12

rolled 44 = 44

>>10182242
400

>>10182198

Holy balls I can't believe that worked.

rolled 8 = 8

>>10182242

5 years old

>>10182252
Sweeny the Wizard is 12 years old, what a prodigy.

What is his height and weight?

rolled 63 = 63

>>10182299

4'10'', 385 pounds

rolled 100 = 100

>>10182299
mouse size and weighs 1 ton

rolled 92 = 92

>>10182299
4'2-feet 120-pounds

rolled 46 = 46

4'2", 87lb.

>>10182315
He's a human, so I can't use this. Still rolling.

>>10182315

Dear god.

>>10182333
aw balls, the only time I can roll a good number.

>>10182333
Hey man, you do not disappoint the dicegods. They rolled 100 for a reason.

>>10182325
Sweeny the Wizard is 4'2, and 120 lbs.

Describe his hair.

rolled 72 = 72

>>10182363
Bald

rolled 50 = 50

>>10182363
A tangled dreadlock mess, so thick you can't see his eyes. This is no hindrance to him.

rolled 93 = 93

>>10182363
See photo.

rolled 67 = 67

>>10182363
Brown and spiky like some animu character.

rolled 77 = 77

>>10182363

It's neon orange with green highlights, in a flat-top that is about 2 feet high.

rolled 61 = 61

>>10182363
he is almost bald, except few strands of red hair.

rolled 38 = 38

>>10182383
Oh goddammit.

>>10182383
sonofabitch

>>10182383
The photo describes his hair.

Describe his eyes.

rolled 41 = 41

>>10182418
None.

>>10182418
They're green normally.

But they flash red when he kills.

rolled 60 = 60

>>10182418
Completely black, souless

>>10182402

I am on a roll today!

rolled 1 = 1

>>10182418
Silver in tint, they scintillate with swirling shades of eldritch energy for no motherfucking reason whatsoever.

rolled 83 = 83

>>10182418
burned off in a miscast

rolled 9 = 9

>>10182418
five, each a different colour.

rolled 33 = 33

>>10182418

NEON ORANGE

rolled 45 = 45

>>10182441
>on a roll
I am trying to hate you to death. Is it working?

His eyes are completely black.

Describe his skin.

>>10182442
holy shit critical fail

>>10182437
Goddamn dice system!

Count this roll for that suggestion.

rolled 11 = 11

>>10182458
Completely white, as if he had no blood.

rolled 69 = 69

>>10182458

HE'S A BLACK GUY

rolled 35 = 35

>>10182458
He's a black guy. Yeah.

>>10182457

Nope.

How about a shave?

rolled 79 = 79

>>10182458
very pale

rolled 37 = 37

>>10182458

charcoal black, bone dry and cracked in many places, much like burned wood.

rolled 79 = 79

>>10182458
Also completely black.

>>10182471
Sweeny The Wizard is a little black kid with crazy hair.

Describe one of his distinguishing features?

rolled 9 = 9

>>10182458
Blacker than the darkest of Darkest Africa.

rolled 8 = 8

>10182507

Giant hooked nose

rolled 95 = 95

>>10182507
Hideous scar running the entire length of his spine

rolled 69 = 69

>>10182507
A wide scar across his neck.

rolled 85 = 85

>>10182507
yo-yo user

rolled 60 = 60

>>10182507
six fingers on each hand

rolled 78 = 78

>>10182507
an extra head

rolled 23 = 23

>>10182507
An incredibly deep voice. Like Shaft.

>>10182511
times infinity

>>10182522
How did he get this scar?

rolled 36 = 36

>>10182507
His left hand has a mouth on the inside of its palm. It tells him lewd and nasty things and apparently has a taste for human eyeballs.

rolled 54 = 54

>>10182542
Botched operation. Also gives him an irrational fear of doctors.

rolled 64 = 64

>>10182542
crazy and hilarious fishing accident

rolled 1 = 1

>>10182542

Incident while jacking off.

rolled 82 = 82

>>10182542
Different story each time.

rolled 52 = 52

>>10182542
tarrasque fight

rolled 74 = 74

>>10182542
he got his spine replaced

rolled 94 = 94

>>10182542
Entire skeleton was replaced with metal parts as a young child.

>>10182458
Pale, clammy, a little greasier than you'd expect on a child.

Also go finish Adrian in the other thread, too.

>>10182544

I see what you did there.

>>10182554

Sweeny got his scar, running down his back, in a crazy and hilarious fishing accident.

How does Sweeny the Wizard dress?

rolled 10 = 10

>>10182595
like a fag

rolled 5 = 5

>>10182595

LIKE A FAIRY PRINCESS

rolled 23 = 23

Man my rolls suck ; ;

>>10182542
A horde of pissed-off immortal chickens swarmed on him by accident

rolled 16 = 16

>>10182595
blue cape and wizard hat made out of frog skins

>>10182595
yes, like a fag.

rolled 19 = 19

>>10182595
Like this, but with a gold pocketwatch.

rolled 95 = 95

>>10182595
Shirtless.

rolled 90 = 90

>>10182615

herrrrp de derrrp

rolled 25 = 25

>>10182595
Like this.

>>10182611
Sweeny the Wizard has a blue cape and wizard hat, both of which are made of frog skins.

Is he good or evil? You can be as descriptive or brief as you like.

rolled 60 = 60

>>10182649

He's as evil as an angsty 13-year-old emo kid would play an evil character. THAT evil. He kills grandmas for fun.

rolled 53 = 53

>>10182649
He's burnt down the occasional orphanage

rolled 97 = 97

>>10182649

Eeeeevil.

rolled 26 = 26

>>10182649
He's Chaotic Nigger.

rolled 62 = 62

>>10182649
Voluntary Human Extinctionist

vhemt.org

rolled 17 = 17

>>10182649
A blue cape and a frog hat do not preclude shirtlessness. I once again suggest shirtlessness. Does he wear pants also?

>>10182667
Sweeny is very evil.

How did he become a wizard?

rolled 52 = 52

>>10182695
magic

rolled 13 = 13

"The hard way"

rolled 56 = 56

>>10182695

He ingested some enchanted pot stems.

rolled 61 = 61

>>10182695
Wizard did it.

rolled 58 = 58

>>10182649
He uses his powers for awesome, rather than for good. Also he likes to save the lives of women in particular so he can get favors later. A mild xenophiliac streak with tastes in chains and whips. Don't call him short or he will eyelaser you with extreme prejudice.

rolled 8 = 8

>>10182695
The same way freakazoid got his powers.

>>10182709
Sweeny, following a hilarious fishing accident, ingested enchanted stems of a psychoactive plant.

Who gave him these enchanted stems?

rolled 42 = 42

>>10182749
Wizard did it.

rolled 30 = 30

>>10182749
God

rolled 98 = 98

>>10182749

The ghost of Ghandi

rolled 69 = 69

>>10182749
This guy.

rolled 4 = 4

>>10182749
Joe, who lives down the street from him.
Joe is 104 years old.

rolled 13 = 13

The magical whale from the accident.

rolled 81 = 81

>>10182749
The fish he caught

>>10182758
>>10182758

I love you, man.

rolled 85 = 85

>>10182758
Welp. Abort thread!

>>10182758
Ghandi, in his wisdom, bequeathed the evil black child Sweeny with enchanted stems, following a hilarious fishing accident.

Describe his family.

rolled 44 = 44

>>10182823
orphan

rolled 86 = 86

>>10182823
One of 500 kids

rolled 97 = 97

>>10182823
raised by bears in a cave

rolled 92 = 92

>>10182823

Dead, the whole lot of em.

rolled 1 = 1

>>10182823
Parents dead, raised by his hilarious racist grandma. A dozen brothers and sisters.

rolled 62 = 62

>>10182823

His family is the entire cast of the 90's gang classic, Boyz N The Hood.

rolled 53 = 53

>>10182823
His father was a simple fisherman.
His mother was Oceana, the sea titan (after her sex change).

>>10182836
Sweeny the Wizard was raised by bears in a cave.

How did this come to be?

rolled 63 = 63

>>10182856
Wizard did it.

rolled 37 = 37

>>10182856

His real parents threw him in there.

rolled 76 = 76

>>10182823

A loving family with two sisters (one of whom harbors mild incestuous desires for her brother in a sort of tsundere older sister kink thing) and a dad and mom. Also his grandfather is Colonel Stinkmeaner from the Boondocks only he's still alive and cantankerous and lives with his family.

rolled 23 = 23

>>10182856
Abandoned as a pup, Bears found him in the middle of nowhere

rolled 71 = 71

>>10182856
Jesus tossed him into a Bear encampment because he was a nigger.

rolled 64 = 64

>>10182856
wizards

>>10182878
Sweeny the Wizard was abandoned in the wilderness, and found by bears.

How/Why was he abandoned?

rolled 95 = 95

>>10182856
A great and terrible prophecy foretold that Sweeney would be the downfall of his native kingdom. The king ordered one of his haremites to dispose of the child but she took pity on him and merely left him with a mother bear who had just given birth, hoping that the boy would imprint on the mom or something. ...it worked didn't it?

rolled 27 = 27

>>10182903
What? That didn't win!

rolled 72 = 72

>>10182903

He's black. That's why.

rolled 6 = 6

>>10182903
A Wizard did it.

rolled 45 = 45

>>10182903
His babby daddy couldn't pay child support no mo' so he tossed the little fucker into the woods.

rolled 1 = 1

>>10182903
His parents did it for luls

rolled 60 = 60

Wizards did it. Sweeney swore revenge and became evil.

>>10182933
stop spamming wizards.

rolled 97 = 97

>>10182903
I'll roll for the real winning reason: A wizard did it as part of his evil plot to, in the decades that came after Sweeney became a powerful wizard, he would do some evil thing to rule the world.

rolled 54 = 54

>>10182903
You fucked up, the winner was:
>>10182870

>this whole thread

rolled 48 = 48

>>10182944
Wizard spammer here, that guy isn't me.

Dammit even when I get a 95 I get beat. Fucking d100s. I hate probability.

>>10182911
A great and terrible prophecy foretold that Sweeney would be the downfall of his native kingdom. The king ordered one of his haremites to dispose of the child but she took pity on him and merely left him with a mother bear who had just given birth, hoping that the boy would imprint on the mother bear.

How does his family feel about Sweeny the Wizard's wizardry?

rolled 83 = 83

>>10182985
They like to kick him in the crotch
Every day

rolled 82 = 82

>>10182985
They approve

rolled 65 = 65

>>10182985
The bears were all killed by a hunter.
That's why he turned evil.

rolled 84 = 84

>>10182985
They're wizards too. They're disappoint that he's a worthless stoner who isn't doing anything with his life.

rolled 61 = 61

test

rolled 73 = 73

>>10182985
They forgot about him a couple of days after he disappeared.

>>10182985
Oh shit, back up. Wizards somehow made it so that Sweeny was raised in a cave with bears.

What did they do?

>>10182990
The bears do?

rolled 71 = 71

>>10182985
His brothers make fun of him in Bearese but his mom is very philosophical about the whole thing. Dad's too busy eating peasants to care.

rolled 65 = 65

>>10183024
or the wizards?

rolled 84 = 84

>>10183021
See the 97 I rolled up there for the real reason.

>>10183021

What did the wizards do to have him be raised in a cave with bears?

rolled 33 = 33

>>10183021
Bears eat bee larva all day, every day.

Sweeney craves the homemade bee larva taste.

rolled 9 = 9

>>10183058
They paid the bears off,

rolled 18 = 18

>>10183058
They magic-ed him into the cave.

rolled 60 = 60

>>10183058
polymorph

rolled 43 = 43

>>10183058
Destroyed his real family in arcane fire. Young Sweeney fled into the woods and was found by bears.

rolled 27 = 27

>>10183021
They dropkicked him in the head with Bigby's Dropkicking Hand of Inverse Limb Relations and he flew into a bear cave.

>>10183078

Sweeny the Wizard was abandoned, and someone or something was polymorphed that led to his being taken in by bears.

What was polymorphed?

rolled 39 = 39

>>10183118
His penis, Into a bear

rolled 7 = 7

>>10183118
Satan into the form of a Snake.

rolled 39 = 39

His family into frogs

rolled 99 = 99

>>10183118
Him into the form of a bear cub. He grew up being polymorphed like that, but It wore off at age 12 and he was chased out of the cave by his own mother.
Turned evil.

rolled 6 = 6

>>10183126
>>10183141
I say use both.

rolled 58 = 58

>>10183118
His family, into bears.

rolled 18 = 18

>>10183157
I say ignore tiebreaker, go with the high roll.

rolled 35 = 35

>>10183157
Yeah go with this.

OK, now we are at an impasse.

Here is everything we have so far.
Sweeny the Wizard is 12 years old, 5'4, and 120 lbs.
He has outraegous hair and dead, black eyes. He was given his powers through in ingestion of the stems of a psychoactive drug, which was given to him by the ghost of Ghandi. Sweeny the Wizard is evil. He wears a blue cape and hat made of frogskin. He was abandoned and adopted by bears through a group of wizards that interfered by casting polymorph.

Was his penis polymorphed into a bear, or were his family polymorphed into frogs?

>>10183226
That is, unless we would prefer the higher roll.
Should we go with the higher roll?

rolled 56 = 56

>>10183226
Frogs

>>10183226
hey what happened to the scar and fishing accident? Also go with the high roll.

rolled 89 = 89

>>10183226
Penis into bears

rolled 49 = 49

>>10183240
It's actually a viable idea. I say go with it.

rolled 49 = 49

>>10183226
Penis, Bear.

>>10183226
I say ignore the tiebreaker and use >>10183157.

rolled 94 = 94

>>10183226
Family into frogs. What do you think he's wearing?

>>10183249
OK, so his penis was polymorphed into a family of bears, who raised him from a pup.

Jesus Christ.

How optimistic/pessimistic is he?

rolled 96 = 96

>>10183288
Very, Always looking at the honey coated side of the world is he

rolled 34 = 34

>>10183288
His penis is bears. He does not do optimism.

>>10183274

>rolled 94

rolled 93 = 93

>>10183288
He always looks on the bright side of life, waking up early every morning to eat a bowl of bee larva with honey and plan unspeakable evil

rolled 6 = 6

>>10183288
He's so pessimistic that he's nihilistic.
Probably because he's a monstrosity of nature.

rolled 22 = 22

>>10183288
He is realistic. He does what he wants to the best of his ability. He understands that it is important to keep negative outcomes and thoughts on mind to keep himself from becoming overly arrogant. This also keeps him from being hurt too much from failures.

rolled 15 = 15

>>10183313
It wasn't in the first 3. Though I wish it won.

rolled 20 = 20

>>10183308
>>10183317
I like these both.

>>10183308
Sweeny the Wizard is very optimistic. He tries his best to look at the honey coated side of things.

How trusting/untrusting is he?

rolled 60 = 60

>>10183355
His penis is bears. He trusts no one.

rolled 49 = 49

Untrusing, he lives in a cave with bears, after all

rolled 37 = 37

>>10183355
He trusts anyone who enjoys honey.

rolled 35 = 35

>>10183355
Very untrusting, his dickbear family has betrayed him many times

rolled 29 = 29

>>10183288

SWEENEY THE WIZARD! HAS BEEN BURNING WITH THE NEED TO MATE SINCE 1956!

SWEENEY THE WIZARD! HAS ABSOLUTELY NO GENITALS WHATSOEVER!

SWEENEY THE WIZARD! Oh, you cannot imagine how annoyed he is.

>>10183371
Sweeny the Wizard's penis is bears. He trusts no one.

How does he act in social situations?

rolled 100 = 100

>>10183355
Untrusting to the point of paranoia.

rolled 40 = 40

He summons swarms of bees and wasps with a troll face.

rolled 49 = 49

>>10183401
His penis mauls everything he meets

rolled 13 = 13

He trusts everyone about anything, except during the full moon when he believes they are all evil spirits. He trusts no one during this time.

rolled 1 = 1

>>10183401
His penis is bears.
Poorly.

rolled 34 = 34

>>10183401
His penis is bears. He does not do "social"

rolled 42 = 42

>>10183401
Like a paranoid 12 year old raised by bears that used to be his penis would act.

rolled 31 = 31

He is very social to everyone, except during the full moon when he believes they are all evil spirits. He talks to no one during this time.

male

>>10183415
This was for the last question. Just making it clear that this response doesnt count.

>>10183420

Sweeny the Wizard's family of dickbears is always around, mauling hapless innocents almost immediately.

How assertive is he?

rolled 42 = 42

>>10183455
you forgot your slowpoke.jpg, anon.

rolled 89 = 89

>>10183469
Like a bear that needs a good mate

rolled 50 = 50

>>10183401
"His penis is bears" is the single best character motivation I have ever read.

rolled 4 = 4

>>10183469
He imposes his will on all who survive

rolled 30 = 30

>>10183469
His. Penis. Is. Bears.
To hell with everyone else.

rolled 49 = 49

>>10183469
very.

>>10183480
Sweeny the Wizard is very assertive, akin to a bear in heat.

How concientious is he concerning rules?

rolled 28 = 28

>>10183469
His penis is bears. He takes whatever he wants.

rolled 10 = 10

>>10183524
FUCK THE RULES, HE HAS HONEY!

rolled 50 = 50

>>10183469
With his lack of pen0r, he overcompensates by asserting his magical beams into peoples' eyes.

rolled 6 = 6

He will attack anything if it even breathes too close too him.

rolled 18 = 18

>>10183524
His penis is bears. He makes his own rules.

rolled 73 = 73

>>10183524
His penis is bears.
Rules are non-existant to him.

[spoiler]Aren't you going to ask us what kind of magic he specializes in, or something?[/spoiler]

>>10183530
In order to prove his masculinity, Sweeny the Wizard, deprived of his penis, attacks others on sight with his magical powers. That is, unless his dickbears get to them first.

How courageous/craven is he in dire straits?

rolled 51 = 51

>>10183541
Because its obvious he's a bearmancer

rolled 10 = 10

>>10183541
/tg/s penis is bears. It has no need for spoiler tags.

rolled 64 = 64

>>10183553
His penis is bears. He fears nothing.

rolled 13 = 13

>>10183553
His penis is bears. He knows no fear.

rolled 99 = 99

>>10183553
His penis is bears, he has nothing to fear

rolled 26 = 26

>>10183553
He's courageous in the sense of "I will run the fuck away right now, adapt myself to the specific circumstances this challenge entails, and then come back shove my family of dickbears and a few massive explosions into your nuts while you're asleep or drunk or whatever."

rolled 49 = 49

>>10183553
His penis is bears. He is not willing to risk any more of his body parts in foolish ventures.

rolled 78 = 78

If it allows him to to get his hands on toenails, he will do anything.

rolled 95 = 95

>>10183578
>>10183573
>>10183570

I lol'ed

>>10183570
>>10183573
>>10183578
Sweeny's penis is bears. There is not a shed of cowardice in any fiber of his being.

What sort of magic does he practice?

>>10183570
>>10183573
>>10183578

Bearcockmind

>>10183578
>>10183573
>>10183570
This is... glorious.

rolled 15 = 15

>>10183608
Whatever is faster than his bearspenis. He needs to kill before it can.

rolled 42 = 42

>>10183608
His penis is bears.

That being said, he prefers to practice the healing arts.

rolled 20 = 20

By the way, this better goddamn be a meme by now.

Morphing other's dicks into things for his own gain.

rolled 73 = 73

>>10183608
Familiar magic. Mostly with bears, but he can summon bees and wasps as well, along with other assorted wildlife and vermin.

rolled 33 = 33

>>10183608
Bear-mancery

rolled 72 = 72

>>10183608
Bear summoning
Fishing with bears

>>10183608

Ursomancy, I'd presume.

rolled 91 = 91

>>10183608
He is a Bearmancer. He can summon and control bears. Fire Bears, Earth Bears, Water Bears, etc. He can also magick a swarm of Bees out of his Bearcock to follow and sting his enemies to death.

>>10183622
Sweeny the Wizard concentrates on the healing arts.

What does he enjoy most of all?
What does he hate most of all?

rolled 23 = 23

>>10183608
Druidic animal control/enhancement. Also some degree of healing. He prefers to let his family of enlarged raging bears of death bears do his fighting for him. (also he takes a certain perverse pleasure in enlarge his bears. ...Sweeney has some unresolved issues.)

>>10183622
He's evil, though.

Evil healing arts.

He probably revives murderers and convicts after their execution.

Dear god... it all makes sense. The fishing accident... a bear got him. The ensuing fight gave him the scar.

rolled 47 = 47

>>10183655
He enjoys nothing
He hates everything unrelated to bears

rolled 45 = 45

>>10183655
He enjoys the sweet taste of victory, as he crushes all who stand in his path.

He hates women. Ohhh, he hates women. Even though he loves women, he HATES women. The phantom pain around his groin is unavoidable.

rolled 67 = 67

>>10183655
He enjoys the smell of honey-containing foods
He shreds people who smell remotely like fish

rolled 9 = 9

Loves trannies and pedos
Hates anyone else (besides bears)

rolled 28 = 28

>>10183688
His penis is bears. He's probably never even gotten close enough to a woman to get a bear-boner before his bear-penis mauls them to death. Wait, what?

This is like one of those copypastas, you know, the ones that start to get good but then it goes "and then I realised she was really a rabid grizzly bear".

rolled 40 = 40

>>10183728
...and then I realized his penis was bears.

>>10183704
Sweeny the Wizard enjoys the smell of foods containing honey, and he can not stand anyone that smells of fish. However, his family is comprised of dickbears, who no doubt ingest fish.

How does he feel about women?

rolled 57 = 57

>>10183723
Does a bear-boner mean the bears become paralyzed?

If this somehow becomes applicable to the next question, rolling in advance and saying yes, yes it does.

rolled 88 = 88

>>10183745
He's questing for a woman whose vagina was polymorphed into a cave.

rolled 68 = 68

>>10183752
Epic win.

rolled 27 = 27

>>10183745
One could say those kinds of situations gets harry

rolled 40 = 40

>>10183745
Pic related.

rolled 57 = 57

>>10183752
same

>>10183776
oh god no

>>10183752
His overarching goal is find a woman who's vagina was polymorphed into a cave.

Who were the wizards who set all of this in motion?

rolled 13 = 13

>>10183807
The Dark Six.

rolled 29 = 29

>>10183807
Bears

rolled 45 = 45

>>10183807
THE EEEEEVIL COUNCIL!

rolled 87 = 87

>>10183807
His parents.

rolled 37 = 37

>>10183807
Us. From the future. It's really meta.

rolled 77 = 77

>>10183807
The bear-union

By the dickbears reaching the cave
They will assume control of the world

rolled 39 = 39

>>10183807
Food conglomerate, merchants monopolizing the grain trade.

rolled 50 = 50

>>10183807

His dick is bears, the only people that could've caused this are other dickbearmancers!

>>10183817
The Evil Council set all of this into motion.

Briefly describe the council.

rolled 57 = 57

>>10183858
They're French Aliens.

If you get the reference, good on you.

>>10183858
Us.

rolled 21 = 21

They are bear/frog -mancers

rolled 7 = 7

>>10183858
bearilluminati
They wish to take over the world

rolled 69 = 69

>>10183858
It was /sp/!

rolled 38 = 38

>>10183872
Whoops, rollan

rolled 9 = 9

>>10183858
Us. All of us, every one.

rolled 58 = 58

>>10183858
Truly malicious trolls, they delight in corrupting young wizards in new and horrible ways

rolled 73 = 73

>>10183871
And I don't mean illegal immigrant aliens.

I mean space aliens. From france.

rolled 30 = 30

>>10183904
But his penis is bears! That's nothing like having a face on your tongue.

>>10183871
Frenchmen, from another world/plane, caused all of this to happen.

What is the connection between Sweeny the Wizard, the Evil Council, and the aforementioned cave-girl?

rolled 19 = 19

>>10183928
She's him, from the french world. They are part of a prophecy.

rolled 85 = 85

>>10183928
Evil council exists far in the future, bearcock entering cavegina will open a portal for them to come to this time

rolled 82 = 82

there is no connection

rolled 39 = 39

>>10183928
The Evil Council want to summon forth their dark god from the depths of furthest time and space, actualizing their present in a paradox which will sunder Sweeney's and Cavegirl's reality and give birth to a new one subsumed wholly within His dark grasp. Both of them are unwitting pawns to this madness.

rolled 51 = 51

We need writefag and archivefag

>>10183977
Also, drawfaggotry.

rolled 5 = 5

I believe this is everything:
Sweeny the Wizard is 12 years old, 5'4, and 120 lbs.
He has outrageous hair and dead, black eyes. He was given his powers through in ingestion of the stems of a psychoactive drug, which was given to him by the ghost of Gandhi. Sweeny the Wizard is evil. He wears a blue cape and hat made of frogskin. He was abandoned and adopted by bears through a group of wizards that interfered by casting polymorph. He was given a scar along his spine in a horrible fishing accident. His penis was polymorphed into a family of bears, who raised him from a pup. Sweeny the Wizard is very optimistic. He tries his best to look at the honey coated side of things. He trusts no one. Sweeny the Wizard's family of dickbears is always around, mauling hapless innocents almost immediately. In order to prove his masculinity, Sweeny the Wizard, deprived of his penis, attacks others on sight with his magical powers. That is, unless his dickbears get to them first. There is not a shed of cowardice in any fiber of his being. Sweeny the Wizard concentrates on the healing arts. Sweeny the Wizard enjoys the smell of foods containing honey, and he can not stand anyone that smells of fish. However, his family is comprised of dickbears, who no doubt ingest fish. His overarching goal is find a woman who's vagina was polymorphed into a cave. The Evil Council of French space aliens set all of this into motion. The council exists far in the future, bearcock entering cavegina will open a portal for them to come to this time.

rolled 84 = 84

>>10183985
>>10183977
Somebody get on this. Now.

>>10183992
Does this sound like a Dwarf Fortress profile to anyone else?

rolled 46 = 46

>>10184005
What it sounds like to me is the birth of a legend.

>>10183992

Just wow.

>>10184005

Bearpenis Fortress

Fund it.

Archived http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/10182111/

rolled 10 = 10

>Type in http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html
>Ctrl+f "His Penis is bears"
>PRess Vote
> +

>>10184040
If people want to vote it they can, don't need to stuff it down our throats.

>>10183945
Evil council exists far in the future, and a bearcock entering a cavegina will open a portal for them to come to Sweeny the Wizard's time.

Allow me to recap.
Sweeny the Wizard is a twelve year old boy, who is 4'10 and 120 lbs. His hair is wild, black, with a a streak of white running down it. His eyes are dead and black. He wears a blue cape and hat, made from frogskin. Injured in a hilarious fishing accident, Ghandi, in His wisdom, bequethed unto Sweeny the Wizard stems from a psychoactive drug that gave the boy magic powers, which he uses for evil. He fears nothing, and attacks the eyes while his dickbears clean up. He seeks a girl with a cavegina for his dickbears.

Abandoned as a child, The Evil Council polymorphed the boy's penis into a family of bears who raised him.
They maul every living person that he sees.

The Evil Council is comprised of Frenchmen from another world/plane. They set everything into motion, for when the dickbears enter the cavegina, a portal will open, allowing them to travel to Sweeny's world.

Thank you, /tg/.

>>10183992
>He needs alcohol to get through the working day.

>>10183992

you see a wizard. He menaces with a penis of beara

rolled 2 = 2

i cast magic missile at my vagina

>>10184049
See, this is why you trust in the dicegods.

>>10183992
This is much better.

rolled 87 = 87

This is why I love /tg/.

>>10184062
Never will i doubt again

Now, who has enough balls to make and post D&D 3.5 stats of this guy? Or draw him for that matter?

>>10184130

>focuses on the healing arts

We'd have to make him a cleric in 3.5 then instead of a wizard.

>>10184130
I don't think you CAN stat him in D&D. His penis is bears. Is there a rule for that somewhere?

>>10184184

Or maybe a druid.

>>10184184
There are ways to give wizards healing spells.

>>10184202

...Do tell.

Custom template:
-Base on gaining healing spell-like abilities
-Also give spell-like ability to summon bears
-Take away two or four CHA for loss of penis

Care to try now?

rolled 20 = 20

>>10184130
I tried drawing him, then immediately abandoned it when I realized i can't draw for shit.

>>10184217
Magic.

>>10184249
Worry not, we'll wait for a drawfag thread.

rolled 37 = 37

>>10184186
Grafting?
A slam attack
A bite attack..
A claw attack..
Called shot: Pelvis

Are these mini bears?
Or is his penis spouting full sized adult bears?

>>10182111 could someone please tell me what manga that bear pic is frome

rolled 93 = 93

>>10184184
He can be a wizard who just happens to focus on the healing spells that wizards can get.

>>10184272

I'd say full sized adult bears. It'd be way more epic.

>>10184319

Except from what I've seen wizards only get healing for constructs. Anything else is necromancy-based stuff. Did I miss something?

>>10184340
Necromantic healing is fine, too

>>10184340
I'll second that

>>10184340
There are feats somewhere that can get them cleric spells, I can't recall them off the top of my head.

>>10184409

I don't suppose you know where to find said feats?

>>10184409
Ah, I see

I'm reminded of this.

>>10184425
Been years since I hunted through the books. Gimme a minute. It's probably on the charop boards somewhere.

>>10184130

I have taken my own challenge then. Within the next couple days, I will attempt to create stats and find a picture for /tg/'s new king. I say a couple of days only because I'm lazy and I have somewhat of a life beyond the internet.

>>10184449

Much thanks.

>>10183749
No, the bears stand up on their hind legs and roar loudly.

rolled 54 = 54

>>10184320
I think a Medusa-style raging pack of bearings in the shape of penises is better

>bear rape

Question, is his bearspenis connected to his body, or does the family of bears that was once his penis move about freely. Also, are they whole bears?

>>10184510
Can't seem to find any way other than taking Cleric or Archivist dip. It's probably in a Dragon Magazine somewhere.

>>10184721
If they weren't connected to his body, it wouldn't be a true bearpenis.

>>10184819
But if they are attached to his body they are not true bears. Maybe that's why the portal would open when they enter the cavevagina?