and warm, fuzzy thoughts were had by all...

Mainly bumping because there was a ton of writefaggotry posted after the bumplimit was hit.
It is an awesome thread that should be read by everyone.
Seriously, it's /tg/ getting shit done. It's an awesome lowmagic fantasy setting.
Dener is the pictured city (the thread started off with some guy analyzing the picture) and an entire setting has been extrapolated from it.

I'm seriously gonna try to get my group to let me run a game or two based off of Dener

Thanks for the new thread. Reposting my last writefaggotry from the previous thread.

>The Tale of a Broken Man
Taraklet returned to his beloved Dener a broken spirit. The King, who had become known as the most benevolent King in all of Cyblum Dell’s history, a man notorious for his charity and good will, even visiting his realm in person to get a glimpse at the lives of his subjects, had become a maelstrom of his former self. He had become extremely temperamental in recent memory. Losing both your beloved wide and, not too long after, your only heir would do that to you, the Captain supposed.

First came the unexpected death of the fair and lovely Queen Nalgatera upon only the twenty-eighth summer of her life. Saddening as her passing was, the King was gifted with a son from the Queen’s womb, and was starting to raise him in his own caring tradition. However the prince, a lad by the name of Zakelius, entered himself into the Legion despite his father’s objections upon his sixteenth summer. The lad had thrust himself firmly into public service early on, thanks to his father’s grooming, becoming a master of debate and ingrained with all the compassion of his father’s values. Zakelius knew that war was also a part of governance, however. Despite all the peaceful intentions of the ruling family, the lad knew that there were those who wished to throw his dear Cyblum Dell into chaos and disarray. His father eventually came to understand his son’s perspective and ceased his protests, especially as the Legion turned his son into a very fine warrior.

Sun Worshipers! Myster Cults following the long passage of sun in the summer, and who revel in its rays. They hold the moon in equal regard as an opposing, but necessary force, and also incorporated into its rituals (Fertility rites in moonlight fields). Yin and Yang, dark and light. Each has it's place- but sun is loved all above all else.

>>14100411
It was upon Zakelius’s twentieth summer which Taraklet had met the lad. The Captain then had the honor of having the prince under his command when he was stationed at Banustrel, a small fishing village at the mouth of the River Dardanus. Small as the village was, it was also a very strategic location for the kingdom, housing armories worth of equipment and storehouses worth of goods en route into the kingdom from other peoples. Soon before the prince’s arrival though, there had been rumor of a Senecan war party from the north trying to make their way into the kingdom. At the mouth of the river and at Banustrel in particular, the mountains of Cynargh were far more easily traversable than further inland. While the prince was formidable from his training, he required further instruction from Taraklet to become even better, especially if the intelligence was correct.

Sadly, the siege came sooner than Taraklet had hoped, forcing him to dispatch his men to defend the village. All save one – the prince. He knew that despite his best convictions, his noblest intentions, the lad was too inexperienced to survive long on a real battlefield. Sure, he would serve finely in a city or village Guard of some sort, but against an enemy as fierce as the Senecans, he would have little chance. Taraklet would have the prince locked up in the brig in an attempt to keep him safe from the fighting. And the battle was indeed fierce as Taraklet lost some of his best soldiers that day in the fray. In the midst of the fighting though, he saw one person in particular show a great deal of resolve, skill, and instinct – it was the prince! That lad talked his way out of the brig and jumped into the fray to defend a small fishing village which he had only been at for a couple months’ time.

>>14100415
Zakelius slashed and cut his way through the veritable wall of Senecans, trying to make his way to the War Chief to make the killing blow. The prince’s fearless advance allowed the regiment to flood into the channel of humanity he carved to finally take the advantage in the bloody affair. Before we could assist him in the fullest, the lad spotted the Chief and lunged for him with all of his might, all of his fire. But even the prodigal son of the mighty King could not lay a hand on the Chief. Instead, the Chief’s lance struck through the prince’s heart, ending his short, but valorous life. Taraklet, who had nurtured the lad for the scant few months since he arrived at Banustrel, went into a murderous rage, slaughtering the Senecans who dared try to retrieve the prince’s body as a war trophy, and ended the siege with the parting of the Chief’s head from his monstrous, barbaric body. In the end, the commander was hunched onto his knees over the lad, weeping like a babe from what a young man such as the prince could be.

Taraklet would lead the funeral procession from Banustrel all the way to the Imperial seat. Zakelius would have his honorable burial in the Legion’s resting place among the great generals and fighters of the past ages. Despite having countless reason’s to be proud of his slain son, the pain of the loss was too great, even for a man such as Brogitarius. Soon after the burial, the King has resumed his business, awarding Taraklet his due honors and assigning him to Dener to become the new Captain of the Guard. The new Captain would become a man to be respected among townsfolk and visitor alike, carrying the lessons of benevolence and compassion from his previous experiences to his new post.

>>14100416
His reputation was solid for the most part until last year, about five years since his arrival. The Festival of the Solstice that year was a particularly joyous affair, marking the city’s two-hundredth anniversary. It was larger and grander than anything the city has experienced. As such, security was sure to be stepped up to make sure that nothing ruined it for those in attendance. Patrols of the Guard, which has risen in numbers thanks to Taraklet’s diligent work in the five years he had been in Dener, were constantly working their way through the streets, plucking pickpockets from the streets, apprehending drunkards who were disturbing the peace, and even managed to peacefully defuse a situation between one of the merchants and a particularly unruly group of visitors. Things were going rather well during the entire Festival, little more than the petty crime or two slipping through the Guard’s watchful eyes.

It was the final night of the Festival, and the masses were crowded in the Grand Square, around the Fountain of the Founders as they looked to the skies above. The Scholastic Houses were putting on a fireworks show, entertaining the crowd with an art from the far eastern lands. Brilliant explosions of red and green and yellow lit up the night sky, illuminating the awe-struck masses beneath. Still, the Guard was ever vigilant despite the inspiring display in the sky. It wasn’t until the end of the show when the first witnesses saw the woman face-down in the fountain, and to this day, no one really knows how the scoundrel who killed her got there and did his deed, completely undetected.

>>14100417
The death of the woman infuriated the King, and rightly so. Marborel was the leader of the yak herders, but also an informal ambassador of sorts for her people. She represented the Nomads from south of the Cylusor in matters regarding the kingdom. She was largely responsible for the peace brokered between her people and the King, and the King cherished her company after the death of the Queen. Some say she was the only one keeping the King going after the departures of the Queen and their son. With her dead now, the King had not only lost his joy for living, but took on a terrible rage which brought Taraklet back to Dener with the stony visage he hasn’t had since the prince’s death in Banustrel.

The Guard sensed the Captain’s apprehension as he sauntered into the Union Hall. The talks were not good at the Imperial seat and their livelihoods were in deep jeopardy. They were dispatched to investigate the crime scene and the people in attendance of the fireworks show. But there was an ache in Taraklet’s heart. Somehow he knew that even his loyal Guard would be unable to figure out the case by themselves. In the meantime, the Captain sought counsel from the only man who still had trust in him after the debacle, Alp the Brave. Though he may be seen as a madman to the city at large in his old age, Taraklet became familiar with him over the five years since his arrival. He learned of his deeds and became friends with him, learning that the man has a surprising amount of insight the other villagers simply do not possess.

>>14100420
It was in his conversation with Alp in which he learned of you and your band. According to him, you’ve crossed paths with a particularly perplexing fellow who he had never seen before, and neither have you since you’ve arrived in the city a fortnight ago. Only if you were able to remember who this man was, perhaps the case can be broken wide open. The death of dear Marborel can be avenged, and perhaps the King’s heart can be mended, if only a bit. With Taraklet’s weary face sitting across the table from you, he only has one question to ask: “Are you willing to assist the Guard in our investigation?”

>The End for Now

>>14100413
Well, we DID establish that they believe in a pantheon of nature spirits/deities/gods/etc. Like many other cultures, they may see the Sun as their primary deity.

Holy hell

A side note. Every time I write anything with Captain Taraklet, I can't help but to think that I may be pushing the edge of Marty Stu-ness with him. He's a bro, a tragic sort of guy, but generally well-liked. At least he doesn't have rainbow hair, a stainless-steel weapon, and a unicorn to ride around on.

>>14100478
Nah, the man is nowhere near marty sue.

He's just an overall decent human being and a good man.

>>14100515
That's what I was aiming for, but I always feel that someone's gonna call him too good and not grimderp enough for their tastes. Glad to see I have at least a couple folks on my side about him.

>/tg/ turning a picture into a full setting with relative little bitching

Son I am proud.
Polite sage due to no content.

>>14100537
Polite though the sage may be, the thread just started. Give us some time to build some more content.

>>14100551

Guy probably meant his own post had no content. Some people don't like to bump threads unless they have contributed something constructive.

Regarding theme, is Dener, Cyblum Dell a medivial hamlet that sometimes is threatened by supernatural stuff?

Reminds me a bit of the setting of Asterix and Obelix.

>>14100612
Sorta. Dener seems to be a major trade hub which runs into its fair share of troubles from time to time, be they from the THEY MAD Senecans from the north, political intrigue from within, or the occasional supernatural misgiving. At least, that's what I get from it.

>>14100612
It is a mixture of turkish/armenian with celtic/gaulish motifs. So not european medieval per se.

>>14100630
>>14100636

So I guess I was kinda right.

Has anyone developed any of the druid types (i.e. religious leaders and potion makers?)

>>14100697
Not yet. Go nuts!

I'm gonna take on the armies, based on the Kingdom of Armenia, which survived in between the hellenes, Persia and finally Rome.

>>14100357


Do we have have writefaggotry of that lovely flowerlady yet?

>>14100780
There was a short two post writefaggotry piece in the old thread. ctrl+f "smoked ham" minus quotes in there and you'll find it.

>>14100780
Actually, yes. Thanks to Morrowindfag for it.

>The Day before the Feast
Acelya wakes to the first rays of light gracing her face. The house is still quiet, sun rises early in summer. Especially on the eve of the summer solstice. The greatest festival of the year.
She leaps out of bed, grabbs a simple gown, runs cross the bedroom and down the stairs, to the groans of her older brothers. The silence in the shop downstairs is only disturbed by the gentle snoring of the family dog, faithfully guarding the traditionally open bottom floor.

Soon enough she knew her family would be up, and the chores of the day would be doled out. But not this time, this time Acelya would grab the best chore for herself before anyone woke up!
She run into the kitchen, the thick floorboards worn smooth by wear and tear, creaking under her bare feet. She grabs a knife and jumps up on the massive oaken cuttingtable that occupied the center of the room. In the ceiling hang both hardbread and a large piece of smoked ham. She carves herself a piece, breaks herself some bread and cautiously climbs down again. No one must wake yet.

She sneaks out of the kitchen, but in the doorway she is faced by the most terrible foe, the family dog! Should he bark her day will be ruined! Thankfully she has the perfect weapon at hand.

"Just bread will have to do today i suppose" she thinks as she tosses the piece of ham. The dog now content, quietly munches in the corner. Luck is with her today.

>>14100820
She inches away from the dog, and then runs into the wardrobe. She gets her favorite dress and necklace, fetches a purse of coins and runs out.
The marketplace has barely opened yet, but it will have when she gets there. She is going to shop for decorations.

When she returns from the market the street has woken up, and is sprawling with activty. She is stopped by a young man, just outside her house. he is carrying a wooden construction under his arm.

"Please young lady, would you stay for a moment?" He says.

The confused look on her face turns into a broad smile as she realizes that the wooden construction is an easel, and the young man a painter.

>The End

Also, a sketch of Brogitarius after the deaths of the Queen, their son the Prince, and the yak herder leader Marborel.

Okay, finally starting to draw a blank here myself. It's up to y'all now!

This is the second time ever someone's reposted my writefaggotry. JSCervini, you've contributed as fuck and you're a total bro.

>>14100746
I think we agreed on the army being large and professional, and working as an engineering force in times of peace (which it has been for a long time now)

>>14101381
Give me a good idea and I'll go with it. What can I say? Also, I'd think that the army would be like that. Professional and trained soldiers who take on their own passions in peacetime, but are more or less always on call should they be needed. The Legion is truly a force for good in the kingdom of Cyblum Dell.

Author of "The Foundingwork" here. REALLY bored at work today, so I'm going to see if I can't think up some more fluff while I'm sitting here. I'm trying to think of glaring aspects of the kingdom we haven't covered yet. Suggestions?

It would seem, however, that posting is getting screwy again, as this is my fourth attempt to make this post. Anyone else having problems?

>>14101394
Yeah, sys.4chan.org seems to be a bit on and off. I'm trying to be patient myself. As for things that haven't been covered, you can always go into the army. Perhaps the hierarchy of the nobility? All we got so far is the royal family and the Legion so far.

Maybe go into the Foundingwork some more?

>>14101381
>>Army large and professional

But they're mainly engineers, right? What was the tech-level we established? They should be compulsive and make some large public works in the region. Maybe a canal or some qanats?

>>14101416
Alright, I'm going to play around with the military reserve a little bit and see what falls out of my brain. See you all in a bit! I'll probably just make it one massive wall o' text when I post it so I don't have to deal with sys.4chan's tomfoolery.

>>14101427
Well, besides the obvious roads, fortresses and defensive works they'd make.

Oh, sorry, didn't notice
>>14100746
up there. Nobles it is! We agreed on a parliamentary monarchy, right?

>>14101427
Hmmm, I like the idea of the Legion being a public-works department in peacetime. As for the tech-level, I get a medieval vibe from the setting, though in a different area than the usual English countryside. I'll tag it as in the middle of the steel age, maybe with the initial developments of gunpowder.

>>14101439
I don't remember, but I do know that the royal family has a great deal of influence through its versatile and powerful military. However, it seems that the larger cities hold some sort of sovereignty from the crown. So perhaps we'll call it that, with parliament comprising of both nobles and representatives from the larger/more important towns, including Dener.

>>14101441
Late medieval yes. We can side-step progress if we want to aswell. Maybe some fields have advanced in an unexpected fashion?

>>14101439
I don't remember, but I do know that the royal family has a great deal of influence through its versatile and powerful military. However, it seems that the larger cities hold some sort of sovereignty from the crown. So perhaps we'll call it that, with parliament comprising of both nobles and representatives from the larger/more important towns, including Dener.

(Also, goddammit sys.4chan)

>>14101461
Which fields would you suggest. I'm sure that the field of scholarship is a strong one if we're going by the Foundingworks fluff. Maybe have the seeds of manufacture in the works?

>>14101439
here. Of course, as soon as I start writing, my job gives me some work to do. Keep the thread alive, and I'll try to post soon.

>>14101633
Ain't that usually the case? Any case, methinks the thread will do just fine by the time you get back.

Hey guys. CC here.
1. Thank both of you, JSCervini and MorrowindFag, for your comments and contributions. you guys have done a shitload to get this whole thing going and keep it alive.
2. On behalf of all of us, thank you to /tg/ for the warm reception and responses.
3. Yeah... Alp was a bro. I feel such pity for him.
4.I'm not sure if I should finish the story of the Burning of Dener or flesh out a different character. I'd like to work on the story of a thief, I'd like to expand on the myth of Saldarr the Unforgiven, and I want to flesh out some of the different cultures in the area as well.

>>14101768
>1. Thank both of you, JSCervini and MorrowindFag, for your comments and contributions. you guys have done a shitload to get this whole thing going and keep it alive.
I love developing settings and brainstorming and writing and drawing. All part of my creative OCD, I suppose.

>2. On behalf of all of us, thank you to /tg/ for the warm reception and responses.
Count me in on the thanks. I'm surprised this got such a generally positive reception. I'm proud of y'all /tg/!

>3. Yeah... Alp was a bro. I feel such pity for him.
I don't think it's as much pity as it is silent reverence for him. He's a hero, but his world was turned upside down back then.

>4.I'm not sure if I should finish the story of the Burning of Dener or flesh out a different character. I'd like to work on the story of a thief, I'd like to expand on the myth of Saldarr the Unforgiven, and I want to flesh out some of the different cultures in the area as well.
Hmmm, I'd like to see some of both, to be honest. The story of Alp was pretty nifty and you can build the story about the aftermath and how it actually made Dener into a better city than before.

>>14100697
I look forward to anything on druids/mystics. If I may suggest something I would like to point to the figure at the leftmost part of the Original Picture. The large feather and intricate garb make me think of a religious or mystical figure.

>>14101796
Perhaps the druids/mystics are the retainers of the mythological knowledge of the kingdom, their kind having been existent in the area before the kingdom was even established. Have there be a number of sects based on the different natural forces/deities in the religion, each of them specializing in this, that, or the other.

While it is possible for anyone to become initiated into a sect, the process is by no means easy. First, there is some sort of rite of passage that proves your devotion to said deity (actual rite may vary depending on the sect). Then there may be a sort of apprenticeship or trial period so that the elders/shamans/etc may gauge your ability to progress the sect. If you don't make the cut or if you don't survive, that's it for you. Even other sects won't seek someone who has failed their trials for another sect.

>I tried to keep the duties of the infantry ambiguous for the other guy. But here is my technical take on the army

INFANTRY
The state army has seasonal training, rotating segments of its population in drafting to avoid draining too much manpower. Although mostly on guard duty, the infantry is employed in maintenance labour and civil service, giving it a good relation with the populace. Service in the army is recruited by cantons from each lord and governor, and the forces trained provide a security force necessary to handle the trade and projects of the city.

The terrain, mostly varied, favors the use of personal weapons and shields, along with bodies of bowmen and skirmishers as the main battalions. The most experienced fight as mobile battalions while the rest are employed to reinforce or assault positions from the battle line. These are complemented by varied tribal and ethnic units which can turn the tide of battle or held back as needed.

THE SHIELD GUARD: The yak herders and farmers in the hills and outskirts have a somewhat diluted culture of warrior men, but from this tradition Dener trains men to serve as heavy infantry in various places. Their long shields, swords and spears have proven useful in close combat to grind down menaces and hold strongholds and positions. Their great spirit and fearsome charge is a strong show of power towards enemies.

WHITE PIKES: An old corps is kept by the city, originally of mercenary origin. Fighting as a thick block of pikes, they are appreciated by their ability to turn cavalry (or even heavy Yaks) and break infantry with their great push. Their choice of weapon means, however, that they mostly patrol through roads and must be supported by light infantry to keep safe. Their preferred place in battle is in the flanks, where they can deny attacks, work as reserve and safe retreat, or simply push back enemies and break them.

>Be aware, as Dener has a Council/Parliament, that noble may mean anything from old families to high authorities. Got no word to describe both

CAVALRY
The two mounts Dener employs are horses and yaks. Since yaks are preferred for heavy work, most horses are light rounceys and hunters. The highest regions can produce big and heavy yaks, some of which are bought for the noble cavalry or commanding officers.

The horses are employed in bodies of horse archers, commonly as raiders and scouts from the farthest communities of herders and tribesmen, others from the caravan guards and patrols in use by Dener. The yaks form a cavalry corps from all the regions and peoples, the rider armed with lance, shield and reinforced hauberk, supported by skirmishers or infantry. The heaviest yaks carry a noble body of knights and retainers, carrying bows and hand weapons, with a second rider as a bodyguard.

YAK MIXED CAVALRY: Most of the lords will provide their own mounted soldiers and footmen under a trusted leader to serve Dener. The variety of equipment, doctrine and ethnic garb make them competitive with one another for glory. The hill corps bring retainers with javelins and polearms, charging and retreating along with them. Mountain cavalry prefer bowmen and armoured yaks, providing a safe zone before the melee. Plains men bring well trained skirmishers, harassing with slings and javelins and defending or attacking with shield and spear.

YAK NOBLE CATAPHRACTS: The fearsome heavy yaks are the proper mounts of rich nobles seeking glory. Although the cost is significant, their strength to break foot is unmatched. Carrying two armoured riders, each team charges while raining missiles on the enemy, then clashing into melee with polearms or swords. Some of the nobles make a point of showing up with their retinue just to rise morale and gain support from their men.

>>14102295
>>14102349
Certainly a lot better than anything I could come up with. I have never been good when it comes to the details of military structure.

>>14102295
>Pikes as the flank guard
>whatthefuckamireading.jpg

Otherwise looking decent.

We've established that yaks are very important to Cyblum Dell, right? Or do yakherds occupy a more marginal position in society?

>>14102393
Oh, I'm sure that they're very important. The herders are a sizable bloc of Nomads from the southern lands while the yaks themselves make mountain trade far easier, not to mention their heavy carrying capabilities make for a strong asset in a wartime situation.

>Should they have bombards or light cannons? I don't know how far the technology level goes

ARTILLERY
The city of Dener has turned to build artillery teams to reinforce their frontiers and support their army. Using the more powerful torsion springs, Dener fields batteries of ballistae and onagers, manned by trained veterans and engineers in the main regiments and defensive outposts. These men coordinate volleys of missiles with the movements of the infantry to cause constant pressure where cavalry cannot intervene or the soldiers cannot be risked.

Each battery carries a variety of projectiles to use. Light bolts for range, heavy bolts for piercing and incendiary shot are used depending of the situation on the field. During prolonged defense or activity, these batteries can prompt outlaws and military operations to retreat, for which Dener sees use in continuing their development.

>>14102411
Hmmm... I may make the nomads' treatment by the government an issue in my fluff. Later writers can support that or throw it out as they see fit.

>>14102423
>I don't know how far the technology level goes
I think we agreed on middle steel age with the recent discovery of gunpowder.

How powerful should the magic in the royal family be?

I've been wondering this since last night, when someone said that Adelaide in the "creation" story was too magical. If we're going off of D&D, would there be a level cap to the magic user thing?

>>14102463
I don't think they would be terribly TOO powerful. Sure, they may have a magical heritage, but it's a low-magic setting. Besides, there were probably cases where some of the lineage has dipped into outside bloodlines, possibly diluting the magical potency of the royal family along the ages. Still, they are considerably more powerful than, say, a good 90-95 percent of the populace.

>>14102385
Yeah, I was thinking more light hoplites or nubian long spears rather than a full phalanx. The need for support is obviously necessary, but when they push the enemy flank back, the battle is won

>>14102483
Ah, as long as we're talking light to medium foot spear and not fullbore tercio/phalangite block, that's much more sane.

Someone should collect all of this stuff and do a proper campaign setting (system neutral) writeup. I would totally use this setting for my homebrew game.

>>14100357
/r/ pic without caption.

>>14102503
There's always 1d4chan for those who know how to write up a wiki. But I'm all wiki'd out from Shattered Sun for now, so someone else needs to get on it.

>>14102510
Pic related.

>>14102521
cheers!

>>14102546
Anytime

Now I guess I could sketch some of the things I wrote for the army, but damn I can't trust my ability to pencil quadrupeds.

>>14102563
Can't wait to see it!

>Making these posts pretty long to try to avoid issues with sys.4chan. Not very dramatic, but I hope you like it.

It had been a long day.

Atakhan glumly watched the last thin line of red sunlight against his office wall disappear and lit one of his lamps. Oily smoke curled upward, further blackening the wood of the ceiling. The councilman absentmindedly stroked the stubble of his graying facial hair, the sign of a day that began early in the morning and stretched on through the evening. He contemplated the stacks of paper in front of him. Papers of every description were there: applications, petitions, drafts of laws, trade reports, security reports, invoices, letters from his constituents, schedules, surveyor findings, a letter from the king regarding the upcoming Festival of the Solstice, and so many more.

Atakhan’s weary eyes came to rest on one piece of paper in particular. In a small frame, it stood on his desk, the oil lamp’s light reflected in flickering patterns across it. His wife’s handwriting always seemed to make the words on the page into more than they would be were they written by any other hand. It seemed so distant in the past now, but he could still feel that summer’s heat on his skin as though he were sitting in the park that very moment. Indulging himself in fond memories, he recalled the color of Shala’s dress when he first saw her, the sound of her voice when she first spoke to him. He remembered the quiet joy in her eyes as she said, “The weather is beautiful today, isn’t it?” For anyone else, it would have been an observation, but for Shala, it was a pronouncement, for when she said the weather was beautiful, it seemed to brighten just to prove her right.

As Atakhan read over the lines of that framed piece of paper as he had done on countless other nights, he remembered the youthful exultation he had felt exchanging letters with her that summer. Yes, he reminded himself, this is why he entered politics. For her. His memories wandered to the first time Shala had shown him her tribe’s herd. He was amazed by the dozens of yurts, hundreds even, stretching out on the plain before him with yaks grazing peacefully among them. He remembered the fascination he felt hearing her describe the nomads’ yearly migration patterns over the plains and steppes. And most of all, he remembered his indignation at her enumeration of the offenses committed against the Khafir by the government of Cyblum Dell. The unequal trade agreements giving Shala’s people a pittance for the animals they so painstakingly raised and the racial slurs she and her tribe had endured when they came to the markets in cities like Dener. Yes, he reminded himself, this is why he entered politics.

Things were better now, largely thanks to him though he’d never be so proud as to take the credit. The Khafir got more for their yaks, and were treated with more respect. But there was still work to do. Lobbies to make to the parliament to win full citizenship rights for the nomads, for after all they identified as Cyblumites, and applications to make for space at the markets for when the yakherds would be arriving next week to sell their mature yaks and thin the herd to give the younger ones more of the grass on this year’s circuit. Atakhan’s tired face broke into a smile at that thought. Yes, she would be coming back next week, and in time for the Festival. The councilman was already making preparations for their time together. Just a few more late nights like this and he would be able to take off work entirely for the first week of her stay, and only come in for shortened hours for the second. It had been a long day, yes, but it was more than worth it. With a soft smile playing across his weathered face, Atakhan set back to work on the applications in front of him.

>Fin. I guess it ended up detailing more of the relationship between the nomads and the government than the workings of the government itself, but I didn't want all of my fluff to be as grimderp as The Foundingwork. Good gods, is it this late already?

>>14102621
>>14102627
>>14102644
I can always appreciate a story about the more social issues in a setting, including race relations.

I have a feeling that they would tie into the murder at the Festival somehow. Maybe it was Atakhan who first reported Marborel's murder to the King out of sympathy for the nomads (Khafir, you called them?) Of course, Taraklet took all the heat for it given his Captaincy in the Guard. Of course, Shala is none too impressed with the poor handling of the situation thus far.

>>14102621
>>14102627
>>14102644
That's one of the sweetest ways I've seen (diminishing) discrimination handled matter-of-factly in writing.

Archived!

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14100357/

Awesome! Archive this thread too! (No idea how to either)

;-;
I created the names
and I wrote the first writeup
I'M SO FUCKING PROUD /tg/!

>>14102717
My thoughts exactly. I would even say that the Khafir are likely to become the scapegoats for the murder, bringing formerly hidden racial tensions to a head until the PCs can find the real culprit. The thing is, what if the culprit actually IS Khafiri? Can they prove that s/he's not representative of the race as a whole? The idea of particularism vs. essentialism has always interested me. In anti-discrimination discussions, we always treat the discriminated people as composed universally of saints. But isn't this just another form of discrimination? In a situation like a racially-charged murder in a context of preexisting racism, how do you do justice to the individual but keep it from ballooning in the public mind into an issue of the race as a whole? Food for thought.

Really glad that you and
>>14102727
liked it!

>>14102904
Hmm, I suppose Brogitarius is rather blunt and hamhanded about his response to the murder. Look at the way he dressed down Taraklet about the whole thing. Maybe it's an off-handed comment about how a minority will do anything to bring attention to themselves that set the local Khafiri population into outrage. Suddenly Egypt analogue, unless the PCs get to the bottom of it?

>>14102974
On another note, didn't we identify Marborel as one of the nomads as well?

>>14102993
I maaaaay have forgotten about that... >_>

>>14103017
But Khafir-on-Khafir violence may be an interesting way to defuse the whole racism thing in the long run.

>>14102993
There's not a problem in such a situation. Just write it off as the nomads being families/small tribes. There's no reason why there cannot be a feud between two such families. Or you could just say that 'khafir' is the word for nomad. Enough ways to rationalize an outsider murdering 'one of his own'.

>>14103140
That could work.

Friendly evening bump. What else do we need to develop about the setting?

>>14103559
While it's a wealthy city, there is bound to be a poorer area in town. And not every house has to look like a merchants quarter house with an open second floor, etc.

More drawfaggotry would also be great to visualize stuff. Or descriptions of more people, bring life to the town. Explain why the yaks are so tall, thin and have forward pointing horns. Maybe their hair isn't great for making clothing. What kind of game is hunted in the area? How large is the river nearby? Does it flow through town? Does a lot of fish swim in there? What are the other countries next door? How are relations with them? What currencies are abundant in the city (there are at least a few exchange merchants in town that buy all sorts of coins)? Has the royal family of Cyblum Dell been part in some political marriages throughout its history? How about more plot hooks?

There's still a lot you could debate about, thus far there is but a city with a name and a minimal culture with a handful of NPCs and several plot hooks. But to answer your question, there is no need. As it is, Deren is a nice jumping off point for DMs to throw PCs in, and then weave it into their own worlds.

>>14103758
Ya got a point. While minimal, we did get a lotta work done on it. Maybe it's time to leave it alone and percolate for a while.

Thanks for the input, all of y'all!

>>14103559
>>What else do we need?
I would really like it if someone made a summary post about the whole thing. Especially what areas people still have different opinions on.

>>14103855
I'll see what I can rustle up. Gimme some time.

>>14103758
Perhaps there are lighter breeds that fare better outside the mountains, since yaks are supposed to be cold weather animals. A rouncey yak, if you will.

I had almost forgotten of this pic. I wish I didn't have to sketch, clean and trace over by hand at half light.

>>14104114
>Chapter 3: In Which I am Terribly Jealous that I can't Draw

>>14103867
Okay, summary time:

>Location
The Kingdom of Cyblum Dell is nestled in a valley between the Cynargh mountains to the north and the Cylusor mountains in the south. The River Dardanus travels from the east to the west, where it empties into an inland sea by the fishing village of Banustrel. The Kingdom is the hub along many trade routes, the biggest trading city of which is called Dener.

>History
The Kingdom has arcane beginnings according to the myths, the magical potency of the royal family having been diluted over the generations due to possible breeding outside of the royal lineage. Currently, the Kingdom is ruled by King Brogitarius, a benevolent man who has fallen into hard times after losing his wife early in their union, their only son during a siege a number of years ago, and most recently, a close associate and romantic interest slain during a recent festival in Dener.

>Culture
Dener is an egalitarian society and semi-sovereign from the Kingdom’s rule. Society is segmented by the roles of the people – merchants, yak herders, smiths, the Guard, and scholars are primarily represented by the guild-like Unions, which also are the centers of each of the city’s districts. There is also an underlying poor population exploited in the city, especially that of the Khafir nomads from the south who either stay in Dener for a period of time during their travels or even settle there in hopes of a better future. Other cities have not been fleshed out yet.

>>14104442
>Military
Cyblum Dell touts a professional and dynamic military, feared by its neighbors. Membership into the Legion, as the overall corps is called, is compulsory by all men of age (unspecified, thus far). They train for a number of years before being assigned their posts. In times of peace, members of the Legion alternate as a standby fighting force and public workers, maintaining the Kingdom’s infrastructure. In times of war however, the entire Legion, millions strong, are called upon to do the King’s bidding. Their tactics are designed for mountainous warfare, complete with long-ranged weaponry and the use of both agile and sturdy mounts for transport.

>Technology
For the most part, the Kingdom enjoys a middle steel age level of technology, though also with elementary knowledge of gunpowder and its applications. Its technology is usually limited to bladed weaponry due to its nature as an agricultural society and a major trade hub (it gets most of its goods from outside the Kingdom.) However, there have been the trappings of mechanical progress due to the discovery of gunpowder and perhaps other combustible materials.

>People
Brogitarius: Current King, described above
Nalgatera: Brogitarius’s wife and queen. Died soon after the birth of their son.
Zakelius: The son of Brogitarius and Nalgatera. Died in the Siege of Banustrel while serving in the Legion there.
Taraklet: Zakelius’s former commander and currently Captain of Dener’s Guard Union. Currently investigating a murder during the recent Festival of the Solstice.

>>14104457
>People Continued
Marborel: Murder victim during the Festival, representative of the Khafir nomads to the King. Rumored to be the King’s love interest after his wife’s death.
Alp the Brave: Senile old man who once in his youth saved Dener from utter destruction during a raid by the Senecan barbarians of the north. Informant and confidant of Taraklet.
Atakhan: One of the King’s advisors who worked to bring equality for the marginalized Khafir nomads. Reported the death of Marborel to the King.
Shala: Khafir liaison to Atakhan who fiercely lobbies for full Khafir equality and representation in Cyblumite parliament. Also, Atakhan’s love interest.

>Things We Are Missing
Religion is based around natural deities. Which deities and how is it structured?
Specifics about military.
Specifics about agriculture, hunting, and fishing.
Specifics about economy and currency.
More plot hooks other than the murder at the Festival.
More drawfaggotry.

>>14104442
>>14104457
>>14104470
Thanks JS. I think that'll help me a lot! :)

>>14104753
No problem. Also bear in mind that I probably missed something somewhere in the threads, so my apologies in advance.

As the original OP, I'm still floored by how well you guys are building this world. I was expecting suggestions of already made systems, but this kind of story is EXACTLY what I was looking for.
Thanks you guys.

>>14105134
You know that we're gonna want logs of whatever the hell story you make out of all this, do you?

>>14105165
If I can get my group to try low magic like I've been wanting to, then of course. With as fleshed out as the setting is, I know I can turn at least a few to my views.

As we said throughout the threads, Dener seems to be a hell of a starting point for the setting.

>/tg/ actually working together on something
Guys. Remember when we used to do this all the time? Can we go back to that?

>>14105237
One thread at a time, man. We're trying to get back to that idyllic time in the (Internet-time) distant past.

In the outlying areas, outside of the cobblestone streets and the bustling market, the men and women till the fields, pray the winter winds head south, and pray to the god's for their pantries to be filled come autumn.
Their dwellings are simple- below ground, fashioned from stone with rounded ceilings covered with woven straw to insulate.
These smaller villages, if you will, are quite enjoyable to walk around. Most of a farmer's early night will be spent outside the front of the house with a good pipe. When feeling social, energetic, or just plain tipsy villagers often gather in small groups to play squeezeflutes and handdrums while dancing.

And off to bed with me. A VERY long work day tomorrow. Have a good night, and happy homebrewing!

>>14104470
Author of Atakhan here with just two quick clarifications. Atakhan is actually a Councilman in the parliament that, together with the king's decrees, makes legislation for Cyblum Dell. That is to say, he's not one of Brogitarius's personal advisors, just a man engaged in public service. Think of him as an MP or a member of the House (for those of us in the USA). I didn't originally see him as being the one who first brought the murder to Brogitarius's attention, but if you want, I'm cool with distinguishing him a bit. :P

Also, Shala isn't really a liaison per se, so much as a regular old Khafiri woman whom Atakhan met many summers ago while she and her tribe were making their seasonal stop in Dener to sell yaks. She is more than a love interest to Atakhan: she is his wife. The two live apart most of the season, but see each other when her people are in Dener for two weeks out of the season. Part of the reason Atakhan lobbies so hard in parliament for Khafiri rights is because he secretly hopes it will allow him to spend more time with Shala.

If, however, you guys want to change some of that, I'll happily allow it.

>>14105942
Oh, and PS: I MIGHT write a little more tonight if the inspiration strikes me (I've been mulling over this druidic business), but it's already getting late and I've got quite a bit to do tomorrow. Has this thread been archived yet? I'll try to track it down tomorrow if I lose it tonight.

>>14105962
I believe it has.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14100357/

Bump.

/tg/, getting shit DONE!

>this thread. And the last one

Oh hey cool! I was in the first thread, didn't see this one.

>>14104442
>The Kingdom of Cyblum Dell
>the entire Legion, millions strong
Wait just a minute.
Did we not already decide that Cybrum Dell was a rather independent city-state that was part of a larger Empire, given economic freedom due to it's position as a trade city?

>>14113313
I noticed that too. From what I picked up from reading the old thread (yeah I just dropped in, but this is seriously awesome), it is a semi-independent city-state.

Anyway, to contribute something useful.
An army numbering in millions is ludicrous, even for the main empire/kingdom.
One million men is A LOT. If we're talking millions, as in more than one, then we're talking about the entire population of a small country. Including women, children and the elderly. (E.g. Denmark, 5½ million inhabitants.)

An army numbering in maybe thousands of men for times of all out war would be more reasonable. Depending on the size of the city, of course.
That would probably include the veterans who aren't actually on active duty, too.

As clarification. If they have, say, a hundred thousand citizens:
First of all, women are not drafted into the military, which is roughly half the population.
That's fifty thousand left.
Then you have to consider those who are too young/old, those who are sick or injured, those who are too rich/important to be on the battlefield (nobility, wealthy merchants, union leaders, religious leaders, a.s.o.)...
Then you have the camp followers, who "can't be in the army" either, because the army needs them to function properly. (Smiths, fletchers, cooks, surgeons, the list goes on...)
Of course, they would have arms and armor and be trained for war as well, they're at the battlefield after all. But they're not actually soldiers.
And that's in a situation of war where every able-bodied man is conscripted into the military. For anything less than that, the number goes down by a considerable amount since the city really does not want a lot of well armed, well trained men sitting around being bored.


tl;dr
Armies are actually pretty small, once you start thinking about it.

>>14113313
I was under the impression that Cyblum Dell WAS the larger empire-type structure, with Dener and (presumably) other cities like it being fairly independent city-states within THAT.

>>14115201
Cyblum Dell is the name of the local province that Dener is the 'capital' of. From Dener the King controls trade through the mountain pass and administrates the surrounding countryside, which consists of lots of agricultural and nomad villages spread throughout the main valley and up and down the mountain pass, as well as up the northern and southern mountains.
The Legion is the name of the Empire's military force, and Dener is still respected as a military force because of the universal homebrew military training all male citizens of Dener must undertake in their adolescent years, with many opting to stay as a part of the official militia to avoid the Legion drafts and the negative effects of being drafted into the militia from your civilian duties.
Hope this clears things up.

Here's some room for plot hooks in the upper echelons of the Empire aristocracy.Took this from my old thread after realizing I could fit this in here too.
In this low fantasy setting, where the descendants of legendary magi of old claim both devine and arcane right to rule, commoner magic users are taken in by the first house to spot them, then kept secret and safe, while indentured and brainwashed into servitude. Their children are taken from birth and absorbed into the ruling family, never knowing and never influenced by their commoner parentage beyond genetic differences, easily explained away to the rabble by claiming the chaotic nature of natural magic induces such differences even from mother to son, though dyes and such would be used to help this along. This would insure family strength and magical potency, while also laying the ground for a natural oligarchy or democracy, as those who are noble know the truth, and there is a constant uneasy system of diplomacy over kingships of their provinces.

>>14105942
Bear in mind that I was a wee bit tired when I made the summary. But yes, reading over the Atakhan story, I definitely botched that bit. My apologies.

>>14113313
Hmm, I was under the impression that Cyblum Dell was the whole she-bang. I can always be wrong.

>>14114469
I don't know shit about armies, I'll admit. Correct as necessary.

>>14115319
I like this and thanks for clearing it up!

Also for your consideration, a cleaner version of the world map if it may help jog some ideas about the setting.

>>14118383
And here's the comparison with some basic ideas CC threw out there. The yellow star is the general area of Cyblum Dell, the orange area is the Asia/Oriental area. The purple arrow is the direction of trade from there, while the red arrow points to the Europe analog.

rolled 58 = 58

>>14118383
I wouldn't put the world map in stone. The immediate surroundings of Dener can be build upon, but I feel it would be in the best interest of the city to not fix it down in a world. Makes it easier for GMs to take it and just place it in their own worlds, making for a very suitable starting town.

If I was a writefag I would blow some life in some more NPCs for the town. Like the baker who is destined to invent pre-sliced bread but gets mocked for it, for now if someone wants to buy his bread they have to bring a cloth to wrap the bread slices in! Preposterous is it not? Pre-sliced bread...

>>14119326
True enough, but I'm just working off of what was already done in previous threads. Map's for idea-generation only.

>>14119391
Anyhoo, off to bed with me. Another long work day ahead of me. Happy brewing!