rolled 47 = 47

>>9262860
>So, my grandmother wanted to join my D&D group

>>9262913

She mentioned it in passing, I mentioned it to my group as a joke.

Dumbfucks went behind my back and invited her.

She's the kind of grandma that listens to NIN and plays vidya games better than me.

>>9263141
Sounds badass.

>>9263141

Tell me more about your grandma. She is my new WoD character.

>>9263160

If she gets her way, there'll be everything from Firefly to Fringe to Tenchi Muyo.

I'm not kidding, she epitomizes random interests.

My group supports her now more than me.

>>9263141

>She's the kind of grandma that listens to NIN and plays vidya games better than me.
Dude, your grandma sounds awesome

If my grandma ever looked at me and said "I have sex with a bar wench," I would kill myself.

>>9263141
>>9263211

Holy fucking shit you have an awesome grandma. Tell us more about her!

>>9263211
>If she gets her way, there'll be everything from Firefly to Fringe to Tenchi Muyo.

Enlighten me - how the fuck is this a bad thing?

Get off the computer, I want to talk to your grandma

>>9263141
My Gram doesn't listen to NIN, but she is amazing at video games. Beat me at MK2 after playing it for like 15 minutes and I've had it for a lifetime.

>>9263267

No fucking way I'd be able to keep a cohesive story going.


As for info...she has a crush on the singer from Tool (his voice, she thinks he's ugly as fuck but she has said she'd abduct him Misery style for his voice).

She LOVES Alice in Chains.

When I bum a ride off her from my college, 99.3 The Fox Rocks is blasting across the campus.

Any info on 90s cartoons I don't know, she does.

Spartacus is her new favorite show (and her second character if her high elf dies).

She raids end game WoW on Saturdays. She forked out for the celestial horse.

>>9263337
If she still makes french toast when you come over for breakfast she is officially the best grandmother in the history of the world.

>>9263356

Homemade beef stew for breakfast last time I ate with her, I treated for lunch at Subway, and dinner was Country Fried Steak with the usual "who can take the most pepper and keep a straight face" thing she does with my grandpa.

>>9263356
>>9263337

>>9263337
Dude, I think I'm in love with your grandma...

>So, my grandmother wanted to join my D&D group.

I'll be unable to read the rest of your post until I get my head around this.

For her character, she torrented all the 3.5 books and jsut flipped through, making a lsit of what she wanted.

Good news is no super minmaxed character plan...problem is, she minmaxed her way into being the world's greatest pottery maker (why, I have no idea) and Warcraft style engineer. She is half immune to undead, half to weather of all kinds, and is prepared for any non-combat thing I can throw at her.

She also helped make the other characters...which is why they are so out there too.

She fucking learned D&D in a month man, and she's already on par with us.

She convinced my grandfather (an artist) to draw their characters. So they got pencil sketches, each on 9 by 12 paper of their character through their life.

It would be entirely awesome if I didn't have to DM all this...but I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHERE TO TAKE THIS STORY OTHER THAN EVERY FUCKING PLACE IMAGINABLE IN FAERUN AND AZEROTH!

Also, she wants us to skip epics-when they hit level 20, they go back to level 1 but continue with their feats skills and equipment. I do like this idea and agreed to try it.

>>9263337
She used to be part of the W.A.V.E.S., right? If she's old enough, sounds like she would have signed up.

>>9263478
>>9263337
>>9262860

Nigger, y'all best be trollin'. Or else you are going to need some pics and a vid.

>It would be entirely awesome if I didn't have to DM all this...but I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHERE TO TAKE THIS STORY OTHER THAN EVERY FUCKING PLACE IMAGINABLE IN FAERUN AND AZEROTH!

Just go with it dude. If it makes your players happy and they like it, GO EVERYFUCKINGWHERE! DO EVERYTHING! JUST WING IT AND ENJOY!

Also, upload some of those character portraits. I wanna see how good an artist your grandpa is.

>>9263478
>I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHERE TO TAKE THIS STORY OTHER THAN EVERY FUCKING PLACE IMAGINABLE IN FAERUN AND AZEROTH!
A little new to the games, eh? Haven't discovered the best settings, that can incidentally be linked to any of the others (Besides Dark Sun, the awesomest setting.)? They're pic related and Spelljammer.

>>9263536
SPELLJAMMER.

DO IT.

>>9263486

Not sure what that is, but she was a hippie-she showed me a pic of her and my grandfather with butt-length hair from when they were a young couple.

My family is all young, teen preggers is almost a guarantee with our genes so she is JUST gonna hit 60 soon. I avoided that finished high school and am in college, so everyone in my family thinks I'm gonna be this "House M.D." like doctor (fat chance, a Radiological Technician is not even J.D. level).

>>9263494

No pics, no vid. I have none on my computer and she'd kill me if I posted any. She cruises /co/, and with this D&D campaign I wouldn't put it past her to hit /tg/ when Warhammer is on cooldown.

>She cruises /co/, and with this D&D campaign I wouldn't put it past her to hit /tg/ when Warhammer is on cooldown.

The more you tell me about her, the more I'm falling in love...

>>9263531

I don't have any, he didn't do any for my main NPCs (since he thinks I'm the heir to his artistry he thinks I should do my own) but I have all his old sketch books from the 70s I can scan.

99% chicks with spread legs (I saved the books from my grandma's burning pile, no joke), some burning Nazi tanks and stuff, a few LOTD stuff since he got really into The Hobbit when he read it after he got back from the war (Vietnam, he just likes to draw WW2 stuff).

>>9263536

I have an old Spelljammer book I think (when my mom divorced my dad, I got all his D&D stuff. I grew up looking at the art in the old 1e and early 2e books).

I was gonna lay down some Rifts too for her engineering stuff (she bought me my Rifts corebook from Value Village because she liked the setting and wanted me to find some novels set in it).

True story, I have my grandmother to thank for my being such a complete nerd.

When I was a kid, she was the one who had all the cool toys. She bought a SNES to play JRPG's and Zelda games.

I was brought up on this stuff.

>>9263558

>teen preggers is almost a guarantee with our genes so she is JUST gonna hit 60 soon

Is she a GILF?

>>9262860
Dude, you have a grandma who is kickass. Rock and roll with this shit.

>>9263558
>hippie
Probably not, then. It was a support-the-troops Navy thing. One of the recruitment posters at the time was, "Join the Navy, ride the W.A.V.E.S." I think it's hilarious how little slang has changed in these few decades.

Jesus. I'd have a hard time running that too.
I'd guess whatever random-ass plot hooks you come up with will be fine.
Imagine you're running a system designed for this, like RIFTS or GURPS or maybe even WoD or designing a WoW quest.

Let me see, uh...

Heavy metal orcs (steal WH40k flavor text) who wield axes, led by bards invade Silverymoon through portals. Orcs are fleeing the catastrophic destruction of their homeland, caused by rocking so hard they woke the elder gods, who promptly cause volcanic eruptions and start devouring people.
You've got some moral grey area, because the orcs are refugees, but they're coming whether anyone likes it or not, and they're really aggressive. Do they players close the portals to keep out the dark gods, assuring the death of all orc-kind, or work with the orcs to stem the tide of invaders?

http://www.myspace.com/abandoforcs

>>9263663

She wasn't one of those hardcore anti-troops hippies.

Hell, she married my grandfather AFTER he got back from the war (he became a hippie once he got back, sent home due to full disability acquired his second month in the DMZ. He STILL has shrapnel metal that comes out of his legs every once in awhile).

>>9263558

Holy shit.

My mom is almost older than your grandma; she's almost 59.

ITT: /tg/ grapples the blatantly obvious troll.

Gromph Banre teams up with the Lich King, to bolster each others powers and magical knowledge. The Banre gains enough strength from a a few thousand undead mooks and some uber undead no one disobeys out of sheer terror that they'll die moments after.

The Drow are united under northrend, keeping just enough Chaos to pacify Llolth within non banre clans.

Grand Ma
GM let her run the game since she has so many ideas

>>9263723

If it's untrue, it's untrue. It's not a troll if it pleases us, unless he throws something into the story that makes us rage.

>>9263716
I'm a father and my mother is 38

>>9263674

I'm liking that idea a lot.

She was intrigued by the horde (she plays NElf warrior in her WoW), and liked the ork pics in our local gaming store. Plus she likes the orcs from LOTR, so an orc heavy thing will be interesting. Also, the other players LOVE moral decision stuff.

Me granny also loves old gods stuff, although she hasn't seen much beyond Warcraft and Wikis about Cthulu. She thinks the Old Gods are behind the events in one of her (and mine too) fav movies, Section 9.

>>9263771

>Section 9

Uh, I think you got the name wrong. Section 9 is from GITS.

>>9263771

Damn, you have the best Grandma ever. Given mine will fuck you up with two Machete's that's saying something.

>>9263728

That sounds cool, she was gonna play a Drizzt clone sorcerer until she saw some Moon Elf artwork that she liked. She didn't like the Lich King story, she liked him better as the Frozen Throne DK but perhaps a chance to fight Scourge would work well, since the Wyrmling pally is a follower of Azeroth's holy light (he's sort of unaffiliated with anyone right now, going by force of faith pretty much).

>>9263802

>mine will fuck you up with two Machete's [sic]

Holy shit you need to tell us about this.

This thread is now about awesome grandparents.

>His grandma said she would abduct the lead singer of tool Misery style

>My face

I want a grandma that awesome. My grandma just guilt trips me abut how much I'm like my father and never call her anymore.

>>9263799

I mean Session 9.

Wheelchair, asylum, psychological.

>>9262860
>grandmother

>>9263820
My grandfather is immortal. Not invulnerable, but unable to be killed.

He survived the vietnam war to come home and almost immediately fall off some scaffolding while building the grapevine mall in Dallas.

Broke every bone in his body and ruptured most of his organs. Lost three fourths of his blood.

He got better.

Then he worked in a nuke plant for a while. Now he's a trucker.

>>9263820

Agreed, but how about jsut plain great parent /tg/ stories?

Buddy of mine was showed how to play D&D by his dad. They had a lot of DAWWWWW moments killing followers of Zuggtmoy.

My grandmas are (1) a devoutly catholic Spanish woman who isn't always all there, and (2) a kindly Jewish woman who bakes. I love them both to pieces but they aren't awesome like OP's grandma.

Oh, and pattern the lead Orc after the Tool guy.
Then you can RP a love interest with your Grandma.

>My grandfather is immortal. Not invulnerable, but unable to be killed.

>He survived the vietnam war to come home and almost immediately fall off some scaffolding while building the grapevine mall in Dallas.

>Broke every bone in his body and ruptured most of his organs. Lost three fourths of his blood.

>He got better.

>Then he worked in a nuke plant for a while. Now he's a trucker.

Your dad is more awesome than a PC dude.

Ever stop and consider you are being groomed as a replacement level 1 for him when he retires?

>>9263888
He plays a lot of RPG's too, as does my mom (She got into DnD when she heard it was 'Of the Devil.')

We sometimes joke about it. Like "Good thing he had 1 HP left eh?"

>>9263881

Uhh....no thanks, although I CAN add in a patron of her adventuring that's a Maynard (dunno how to spell it) clone.

Elf, great voice who is obsessed with sexual imagery and wine tasting?

Also, as awesome as she is I'd like to have met my other grandma. She died before I was born, one of the last of some tribe of Canadian Indians. Nobody in the family knows either anymore, since only one who knew (my grandpa on that side) died when I was 7.

>>9263852
Congratulations OP, you are clearly descended from PC stock. Have fun ruling the world upon the backs of us hapless NPC's.

>>9263888
>>9263888
You see this swor.. unh.. this wrench? This is the wrench of my grandfather. His skills are now my skills. His Enemies, My enemies. My name is Aphlarius, son of some guy, son of Epic Grandfather. Prepare to die.

>>9262860
How old is your grandmother OP?

>>9263921

Actually, OP here-that is someone else.

With a fucking awesome grandpa.

Dude, I dare you to make a paperkraft knight helmet on his lap when he's sleeping and take a picture like he's some old paladin veteren.

>>9263852
Old people are freakin' scary. My grandmother is barely 5 feet tall, older than the country she lives in, has had her home burned down three times, once due to civil war, twice due to Soviet invasion, has been shot, bombed, hit by a car, trampled by a horse, trampled by a bull, and still seems dead intent on being the first person to reach 200 years of age. She's halfway through. 70 years of that century she spent as a midwife, and the profession literally ceased to exist before she felt ready to retire.

The only problem with her is that she doesn't remember anything that happened after 1935 anymore.

>>9263921
OP?

I just came in this thread to talk about awesome grandparents.

My other grandfather put all his points into INT and CHA. He made millions as a real estate mogul in Florida, mostly around Orlando, and spends most of his days conducting business deals from his speedboat.

Unfortunately I'll never see a cent of it, because my grandma is a crazy person and let that get away.

>>9263951

She's almost 60.

My grandpa is almost 58.

>>9262860
>Dat Wyrmling
FUCKING D'AWWED MY ASS OFF TO THE MAX 9000.
It's just like hatchling lizards...
So tiny and cute...

>>9263964

Holy shit, does she have one of those old super thick accents that makes you feel like you are actually in another country?

>>9263966

So that is the NPC side of your family...looks like you have a plot hook too.

>>9263962
That'd actually be pretty awesome.

He's one of those people who turn into mahogany with age, and spends a lot of his time napping on a huge armchair.

What I should do is get a novelty broadsword and lean it against the chair.

>>9263996

The wyrmlings were one of the most awesome things in that book, the sample descriptions especially.

>Blight is a wyrmling green dragon who believes she is queen of all she surveys...although her stature limits her domain. She has had several run ins with a local group of fey who left her dangling in the air in her last encounter. She has sworn revenge.

>>9264027

DAWWWWWWWW

:3

>>9264005
>>9263921
Goddammit anons, I was all set for my life of quiet mediocrity and here you come with that inspirational shit.

I guess I'll just have to save the world, or quest for the secret of immortality, or something...

>>9263820

Alright, here goes. My grandomther was born in and lives in the bahamas. This makes her older than the country itself. It's close to florida but much, much poorer and with More illegal Hatian Immigrants.

She grew up on an island with one of those Blue Holes: Holes with crazy chemistry stuff that leaves the remains of things sunk in there in perfect condition.

The place has a local legend about that hole. After I got into 3.5 the first book I cracked open was the MM, and after some thought realised some descriptions matched the aboleth EXACTLY.

Back to the main thing, there's plenty of gang violence. Even the poorest people try to build defensive walls with Barbed wire. My parents lived on the same street as a former prime minister and still some machete violence breaks out.

Her house is a goddamn FORTRESS, build from stone with steel over the windows, three locks on every door including INSIDE the place. Not to mention one of those aformentioned walls, tall as a man with spikes and barbed wire going around the property with a thick iron gate being the only way out.

She keeps a machete on one end of her bed, and a spare in case she rolls over.

>>9264039
>>9264027

Okay, seriously, I need a sauce now.

>>9264005
Well, she does have a bit of an accent. We're both Finns, and speak Finnish mainly, but her dialect sticks out since the region of Karelia she's originally from has been a part of Russia for longer than most people have been alive for.

God knows what she'd sound like if she spoke English though. If I remember correctly, she visited her sister in N.Y. sometime during the 60's. Must have been one weird trip for her, all things considered.

>>9264027
It's like reading a hatchling's diary or some shit whyamId'awwwwwing?

Goddamnit, I wish my grandparents were half as awesome as the ones in this thread. The only grandparent of note I got is my grandma on my dad's side. I swear, she's min-maxed her CON to ridiculous levels. She's been smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day since she was 14, and hasn't got so much as a smokers cough. No cancer, no real lung damage beyond the obvious, nothing. Add on to this that she's lived through being run over by a car and falling out of a second story window without so much as breaking a bone (short of a few hairline fractures with the car), and I fucking swear, her CON is either 50, or she's a DMPC. Bear in mind, she's about 93 by now.

>>9263820
>This thread is now about awesome grandparents.
Let's see...every family holiday I seem to SOMEHOW get locked into a drinking contest with my grandpa. He drinks me under the fucking table every time, and I got kicked out of the Navy for coming back to the ship six hours after an anti-alcohol seminar I was forced to go to (because my Chief thought I was drinking too much) with a .47 BAC.
My great-grandpa recently died of a lung infection two decades after a doctor said he wouldn't last a month on his liver.
My grandma has a monopoly on fast food with a hole-in-the-wall family restaurant in a bumfuck-nowhere town in Alaska. You need to take a plane to get to the next fast food place.
My grandpa on the other side of the family was in the Navy and convinced his superiors that he needed to sleep in a refrigerator because he was from Alaska. He used his just-as-planned storage space to stockpile cigarettes he bought from the ship's store and then sold them at double price once everyone else was out. He also has a tattoo of a rooster hanging from a gallows on his left calf and has used it to win several bets with the line, "My cock hangs below my knees."

My grandfather was 20 when the Spanish Civil War started. He looked like younger than he was (people used to comment he looked like a movie star), and ended up being a messenger and food taster for Franco's inner circle. When he met my grandmother, she was on the other side politically, which was a no-no in Franco's Spain; her father had been taken away by Franco's goons some time before.
He pulled strings and made his military background disappear so he could get to the states in 1954. He didn't speak a word of English, but managed to carve out a living and sent at least two of his four children to an ivy-league school (my mother wasn't one; she went to a catholic college). He was always a jovial guy; once he raced a guy with a wheelchair, lost, and joked "no fair, you got them wheels!"
I'm just sorry I never got to really know him before he passed away.

>>9264061

Draconomicon, the sample dragons are by age. First of each type.

>Immersa is as playful as a dolphin. She loves taking the form of an old woman and rewarding adventurers who assist her. She assumes her bronze dragon form to assist shipwrecked sailors and protect her aquatic friends form over fishing. As a result, the local sailors have a love-hate relationship with her.


>>9264064

I cannot even imagine what that sounds like. Sounds cool though.

My grandma likes to imitate people she hears on TV like a parrot.

Then again, so do I...made be quite the comedian in high school being able to parrot back thousands of movie quotes.

>He also has a tattoo of a rooster hanging from a gallows on his left calf and has used it to win several bets with the line, "My cock hangs below my knees."

CANT STOP LAUGHING

I has humble origins.

ON DAD'S SIDE
Gramdpa was the son of a farmer
Grandma was the daughter of poor immigrants
Dad's a physicist

ON MOM'S SIDE
Grandpa...came from a good family, did some work on the Nautilus project (first nuclear submarine)
Grandma...came from a sufficiently good family to not be I'M POOR when the great depression hit
Mom's a physicist, but she's the homemaker.

I come from unremarkable stock.

Though one of my uncles founded and owns a corporation that's a majority share in the LED bidniss.

>He also has a tattoo of a rooster hanging from a gallows on his left calf and has used it to win several bets with the line, "My cock hangs below my knees."

YEAAAAAAAAH, HERE COME THE ROOSTER! OH YEAH! NO WE AIN'T GONNA DIE!

>Slythe may have just hatched within the last few days, but already has claimed his first solo-kill... a dire monitor lizard that wandered through his swamp. This has by no means slated the little fellow's thirst for blood... no, it's only enhanced it. Slythe dreams of venturing towards the nearby human city, stealing some shiny objects and slating his thirst on the previous owners of said shiny objects.

Black

>>9264149
>My grandpa on the other side of the family was in the Navy and convinced his superiors that he needed to sleep in a refrigerator because he was from Alaska. He used his just-as-planned storage space to stockpile cigarettes he bought from the ship's store and then sold them at double price once everyone else was out. He also has a tattoo of a rooster hanging from a gallows on his left calf and has used it to win several bets with the line, "My cock hangs below my knees."

Oh god I am lolling so hard

I wish I knew more about my grandparents. My Mama was a bit of an outcast among her family, so I by extension never got very close to my extended family

My grandpa Died after two heartattacks, 2 separate cases of cancer, diabeeetus and 6 strokes.
Hard to kill, He didn't loose his hair during chemo any of the times. He did loose half his beard though, which greatly annoyed him.

>Korth is a year old, he has lived with his mother for most of that time. He has had several fights, and fled several times. He has developed a fear of melee combat and stays on the wing as much as possible.

Blue

>>9264171
If you didn't speak in an accent for an entire period with a substitute teacher, you did it wrong.

OP HAS THE WORLD'S MOST AWESOME GRANDMOTHER.

>>9264222
Humble origins? You come from rich origins.

You are win us all.

>Sfacciata spent her younger days trapped in a cave by the red dragon Thrasseina, tortured relentlessly. As a result, she hasn't had much opportunity to practice flying -- but she can sure take a beating!
Brass

I think these are 4e, because I remember the 3.5 ones being more descriptive.

My great grandfather was in WW1. Went into a forest with 800 people after 600 were already dead. he and about 34 other marines came out with more than 100 prisoners. We still have his bayonet.

My grandfather put all his points into dex and con. When I was in first or second grade, I walked home from school to find a large pool of blood in my yard. Both parents worked, so no one was home. Just little ole me and a pool of blood. Turns out my grandfater had been working on the chimmney, fallen off the roof, and missed a cinderblock wall by less than a foot. He then, lacking a heal potion, put cement powder in his wounds, finished the chimney, and went home. He could out arm wrestle anyone else in the family.

My grandma put a lot of points in to con as well. She smoked for more than 60 years before it killed her. She missed her first great grand child by about 2 weeks.

My family history is mostly Scum, soldiers, one spy (funny story), and oddballs.

is she a steel magnolia, if you'll pardon the expression?

>Sfacciata spent her younger days trapped in a cave by the red dragon Thrasseina, tortured relentlessly. As a result, she hasn't had much opportunity to practice flying -- but she can sure take a beating!
Brass

I think these are 4e, because I remember the 3.5 ones being more descriptive. Oh well.

>>9264285

Can't argue that.

My maternal grandpa's life could have been better. His mother was a tremendous bitch, who he overheard, when old and sick and asked by his brother 'don't you want to see _____ before you die?' or something to that effect, replied with 'Who cares about him?'

Mom has said he worked overtime to make sure none of his kids never felt unwanted.

After grandma died, he... appeared to be cleaning an old gun, when he Got To Thinkin'.

>>9264295
3.5 Brass Dragon

Mychasi loves to talk—nonstop—about anything, but
tends to steer any conversation toward topics he knows,
even when doing so forces him into a non sequitur. When
unable to converse with a sapient creature, Mychasi happily
converses with passing animals, or simply talks to himself.
Adventurers can often get useful information about local
events from him, but only after engaging in an extended
chat in which the little dragon relates a seemingly endless
stream of superfluous details.

>>9264379
3.5 Black

Mean as the proverbial polecat, fiercely territorial, vain, and
perpetually hungry, Blight tends to breathe acid first and
consider the consequences later. Blight thinks of herself
as the most dangerous creature in her patch of swamp. She
is queen of all she surveys; however, she is a Tiny dragon
and doesn’t actually survey very much. The mere sight of
any creature more attractive than herself (and that’s most
creatures) fills Blight with rage. She delights in destroying
beautiful things, especially birds and small animals. Likewise,
she scars small plants, trees, and even rocks just for
the fun of it

>Kosjisk, translated as Small Star in the common tongue, was just hatched yesterday and finds life to be exciting and wonderful. She loves playing with her brothers and sisters, and is particularly good at Hide and go Seek. One day, mommy will let her outside the saftey of the lair, but for now, this mountaintop cave is all she could ever ask for or want. Life is perfect here.

Silver.

I fucking DAWWWWWWWWWWWWed at this one.

>>9264367

;_;

My great grandfather told everyone at the community that his family were scum sucking leeches...and beat his wife and refused to allow the kids out of their rooms anytime he was home. His motto was "If you don't steal what you make in a day, you need to kill yourself."

He was like an evil Earl Hickey with a job basically.

Every story I hear from my grandpa about him just makes me realize my my grandpa loved Disney cartoons so much as a child-it was his dream world.

>>9264428
3.5 Silver

Nimbus has an insatiable appetite for doing good deeds and
for learning other people’s business. He finds the various
tasks and errands that humans tackle every day to be endless
fascinating, though he doesn’t quite understand why they’re
so busy all the time.
He often trudges about posing as a human woodcutter, a
gnome peddler, or a big, shaggy dog. He gladly renders assistance
to anyone who needs it, and he tries anything though
he’s not always up to the task. He once offered to chop wood
for an old widow and nearly chopped off a foot with the axe.

>He finds the various tasks and errands that humans tackle every day to be endless fascinating, though he doesn’t quite understand why they’re so busy all the time.

Sounds like my little brother.

>>9264149
Was your other grandfather in the Pacific? He sounds like he would have been total bros with my army air force grandfather. He shared a name with an officer, so would more often than not get delicious, non army food shipped to him which he sold for exorbitant prices. Then there was the racket he ran between the GIs and filipinos, which afforded him the privilege of going around with twin pearl-handled colt 1911s. And he accidentally bombed another filipino village with white paint cans when the pilot insisted on taking too much cargo and they had to bail.

My father's father, on the other hand, was in Korea just before and during the establishment of the DMZ. He doesn't talk too much about that other than the few posts he stumbled into where the blood coating dead GI's throats were still warm. He does talk about being established in Germany as co of a recon platoon who were trained to go into east germany dressed as russians if ww3 came about.

Threads like these are why I love TG Dawww dragons and awesome grandparents.

my mothers side is interesting from what ive known, my grandma comes from a rich landowner family, while my grandpa was guerilla fighter during the spanish occupation then the only cop from his generation not getting killed by socialist rebels due to corruption. one of my uncle is a hiredgun/goon and the younger brother is a cop. pretty damned colourful history, too bad i dont know more

>>9264306

>one spy (funny story)

Care to share with the class?

3.5 Blue

Dazzle spends his days soaring over his desert home like a big,
blue hawk—and most of his nights flapping through the
darkness like some malevolent bat. He delights in stealing
kills from weaker predators. When on the hunt, he pursues his quarry any way he can, even if it means digging his prey
out of a burrow. Dazzle is almost always on the hunt, but he’s
smart enough to attempt the occasional parley. His version
of a parley, however, usually involves trying to bully someone
into giving up treasure, a mount, or even a companion.

My Great Grandfather was a Buddhist monk.

My Grandfather was a merchant marine in Vietnam, and traveled the world. He brought back rare and exotic things for our family. I wish I could have met him. He died when my father was young. I know that if he was still alive, I would have traveled the world, like my family always has. Hell, I probably would never have begun the Path of the Engineer.

>>9264541
I am related to the youngest person in US history to be tried for treason.

She was about 8 and was heard singing southern battlesongs on a trolley(?) in baltimore if I remember right. A police man heard her singing, wondered what she was hearing at home, asked to look in her bag, and found a bunch of letters describing union troop movements to the south.

>>9264549

I always wondered, who is he tough enough into bullying into sacrificing companions?

Halflings maybe, but that's about all I can think of.

My family is pretty chill. Except for my great aunt on my mother's side.

She plays D&D with her husband. They actually met at playing the game. While I visited my great uncle received a "ceiling cthulhu" shirt which sent both of us into a fit of hysterics.

My great aunt ice skates and does routines to such songs as White and Nerdy. She also knits and has several scarves that look like dragons complete with eyes, scales, and an underbelly. They both also quote lolcat on occasion.

I need to visit more often.

Hmph, awesome grandparents you people have. Mine from my father's side worked in dairy business, grandpa being some semi-bigshot and grandma just a dairy worker. Mom's side uhh.. I don't even know what granny did, something somehow related to cars, but grandpa from mom's side was/is a psychologist.

All bland boring people.

>>9264615
CR3 creature in a world of level 1 peasants, dude. Adventurers are 1/100 at best in 3.5. Unless you're talking Faerun. Fuck Faerun. You can shake a stick in the wilderness without hitting six level 10+ wizards.

>>9264713
>can
Can't. Shit, I need to proofread more.

>>9264713

Why the fuck are 6th level wizards congregating in the bushes in the woods?

Is...is that George Takei over there dancing with Elminster?

>>9264708
Listen to them. Or ask about the craziest shit that ever happened to them.

>>9264750

Oh my...is that your wand, or my phazer?

Hahaha. My family is completely unremarkable. They participated in the standard wars, and obviously they survived to produce kids. Most of the older ones are completely square, most of the younger ones are slacker fuckups. Normality: it happens.

>>9264822
>>9264708
There is no shame in being related to Arthur Dent.

>>9264821

OH GOD, WHY DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?!?

>>9264774

From what I've gathered, grandpa from father's side had heart problems since being a youngster and never fought in WW2 due to being pretty much hospitalized, living the rest of his life in the middle of nowhere in a tiny town where dad grew up as well, mom's side have been cityfolk for a pretty long time. Mom's side is a bit younger though, grandpa was just a little boy during the war, same with grandma. I'd ask about things but I've never met my grandpa from dad's side, he died of a heart attack a year or so before I was born. Grandma though is one tough old lady, 80 and up until a couple years ago was going strong, taking care of a small farm-ish household by herself. Mom's side is much more boring, just your old two-people-in-love for 50 years tale, cityfolk, nothing special. My parents, however, are a bit different. Used to be bikers, toured the world driving around, doing all kinds of crazy shit. No-one's ever been interested in games, though.

>>9264821

I heard that in his voice. Damn I love that voice.

>>9264997

Dad's a careers/study counsellor nowadays but I swear he's done like everything from working construction at a nuclear factory to teaching english in a random school. Also the man's a fucking genius and a jack of all trades, crafty with his hands and charmy as fuck. I don't understand how I became such a neckbeard wuss.

>>9264997

>Used to be bikers, toured the world driving around, doing all kinds of crazy shit.

You are the reason that I saved this pic

>>9265034

BUMP IN THE DESPERATE HOPES THAT I WILL HEAR MORE ABOUT THE BIKER PARENTS

I WASN'T KIDDING, I WANT STORIES ANON. PLEASE ;_;

>>9265030

I've never really asked about those times, but I know that they had dealings with some higher up soviet military people in the 80's when europe was opening up. 'fraid to even ask what the hell they were up to back then. Mom's an office higher-up nowadays, studied economics or some shit. She's a damn strong-willed woman. Annoyingly so at most times to be honest.

The group I'm DMing for right now are almost impossible to work with. They simply refuse to be their characters, despite me giving them numerous chances to role play.

I even toss them a bone every couple minutes, tell them what their character might be thinking or feeling, and still nothing.

When I'm doing some dialog for an NPC, the players that aren't being spoken to will pull out fucking PSP's and cellphones.

They all seem bored and distracted until combat starts. OH HOW THEY LOVE COMBAT! Following combat the first thing, FIRST THING, they do is not "Find out why we were attacked" or anything else regarding the actual campaign. FIRST THEY LOOT THE BODIES, THEN THEY ASK HOW MUCH XP THEY GOT. If they level up, the game actually stops while they get their cool new powers, and discuss which would give them the highest damage output.

Last session, I sent them to a Colosseum, where they did nothing but fight monsters for 3 hours. One of them said it was the best session ever.

>>9265443

dude, force them to do something else than fight all the time

>>9265443

NEXT CAMPAIGN: MISS CHESTERWORTH'S EPIC TEA PARTY

>>9265443
>>9265471

>dude, force them to do something else than fight all the time

Why in the flying fuck would you do that? Your players have obviously found an aspect of the game that they like. Let them enjoy it. If you're not getting much enjoyment out of the game, then you may need to consider talking to your players about it, or simply getting a new group. You shouldn't try to force your players into a game they're very obviously not interested in

>>9265443

Have them get in serious trouble for killing things first and asking questions later.

>>9265512
I know it's more about the player's enjoyment, my main problem is I haven't worked with a group that doesn't RP until now. When my players don't RP, I get all self-conscious and think it's because I failed to present an interesting setting or that my NPC's aren't likable, or so on.

I'm sure if I have them spend the rest of the campaign in the Colosseum, I might be able to trick them into enjoying RP. I have to train these cunts.

>>9265593

Keep them in the colosseum, introduce a guy who's a complete bastard. Like puppy-strangling, cripple-raping sort of bastard. Have them explain to them that they're exactly like him; they just fight for pleasure.

Alternatively, have them fight a bunch of people under dubious circumstances; be vague about the exact situation. In the loot, they find a gear that clearly belonged to a paladin. If they take it as loot, they basically declare war on an entire religion.