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/qst/ - Quests


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OH SHIT NIGGA. You are lady Firemane. Of the (formerly) noble house of Fireborn! You were once the greatest wagon racer this side of the kingdom. Sadly due to shenanigans, you lost everything and went into debt with the Adventurer's Guild in order to survive. But then you found the Inexperienced Hero, Ezekiel "Kid" Rutebega ! You took him under your wing to mold him into the hero he's always meant to be: your devoted apprentice (probably)

Currently you're back at the guild waiting for your payment after completing a quest.

Oh and you picked up a Double Wizard during said quest. And you're now pondering his orbs to pass the time.
>>
>>6018567
ponder harder
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>6018567
ponder
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>6018567
Ponder the orbes
>>
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Rolled 10, 81 = 91 (2d100)

>>6018570
>>6018573
>>6018575
What secrets do these orbs hold? What will your pondering reveal?

Roll 2d100. Highest sum against the orbs' sum
>>
Rolled 31, 16 = 47 (2d100)

>>6018578
Commericals and reruns, my favourite.
>>
Rolled 70, 42 = 112 (2d100)

>>6018578
They'll either reveal the secret of the fire knights

Or probably another message of seduction to Double Wizard the Second
>>
Rolled 74, 34 = 108 (2d100)

>>6018578
Its a secret message telling us that we're the 100th wizard to ponder the orb and got a free knightpad
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>6018578
>>
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>>6018582
The Orbs show you a glimpse of your noble ancestors. The Fire Knights:
>>
Rolled 62, 90 = 152 (2d100)

>>6018588
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>6018589
Show hero's true love
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>6018589
hey dude that guy's using you as a campfire
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>6018589
Tell me great ancestors, what must we do to become the firest fire knight of all?
>>
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>>6018594
"What the--? WHO SAID THAT?"
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>6018598
Ninja turtles gladiator!? The fuck are you doing here!
>>
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>>6018601
"Uh, Mr Double Wizard, what's Ms Firemane yelling about?"

"Who knows, boy. It is said that each ponderer sees their own, unique vision, incomprehensible to any onlookers"
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>6018614
There's no time! Ask him about the fire secrets.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>6018614
>>6018617
WHAT THIS ANON SAID
>>
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Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>6018617
WILL THE ANCESTOR'S VISION REVEAL THE SECRET OF THE FLAME?
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>6018628
Yes.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>6018628
GOOOOOOOO
>>
>>6018567
Why does it look like the main character is gazing at their oversized glowing nutsack?
>>
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>>6018632
ANCIENT HIDDEN KNOWLEDGE! THE SECRETS OF THE CLAN! FLOWING INTO YOUR MIND!

>>6018635
dasthejoke.jpg
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>6018644
Firemane unlocks the ancient fire power of "being hot"
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>6018644
FLAME ON
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>6018644
Flaming rash go!
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>6018644
She gains the realization of what OP's pic looked like to anons.
>>
>>6018567
didn't these start with "OH SHIT NIGGER"?
or are you a different anon from the skeleton island quest
>>
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>>6018648
You've gained the power to immolate yourself on and off at will.

Probably helps if you ever get grabbed or something.

>>6018659
I am the same anon. i just switch between em from time to time
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>6018666
Wonderful, now let's stop before we burn the guild down and get into even bigger debt.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>6018666
What about flame based propulsion?
IE: flying
>>
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>>6018668
Speaking of which, that damn guild receptionist better be ready with your pay already
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>6018671
Let's go see how much money we made
it was a big job, certainly more than delivering
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>6018671
God I am so hot
>>
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>>6018676
Damn, for real anon? Here, this should cool ya down
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>6018678
Anon pours it over his head.
>>
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>>6018680
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>6018685
Thank you, OP, its 30 degrees outside, anyways back to the Flame Knight and co, or Boy and co. he's theoretically main character after all
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>6018687
yes, it's time for duh reward
>>
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>>6018687
"Ah, Firemane. Paperwork's been sorted out. Here's your and Kid's pay. Each of you get..."

Roll 2d200. Highest roll is the gold you've gained.

+30 bonus
>>
Rolled 146, 1 + 30 = 177 (2d200 + 30)

>>6018695
GOLD TIME
>>
Rolled 14, 95 = 109 (2d100)

>>6018695
>>
Rolled 23, 27 = 50 (2d100)

>>6018695
Aught
>>6018696
Lol
lmao
>>
Rolled 8, 70 = 78 (2d200)

>>6018695
don't make me fucking roll against the other anon's 146 for 1 gold
>>
>>6018698
It's d200, anon, not d100
>>
Rolled 115, 78 = 193 (2d200)

>>6018695
>>6018698
No wait
>>
Rolled 16, 161 = 177 (2d200)

>>6018695
>>6018697
FFFF
>>
>>6018696
ONE MEASLY GOLD
ONE MEAAAAAAASLY GOLD
>>
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>>6018696
Oh yeah, you only got 1 gold, totally, sorry. Definitely only one gold
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>6018709
SWIPER STOP SWIPING
>>
>>6018712
damn it really ain't my day
>>
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>>6018712
ANon rolled another 1! 1 gold confirmed!
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>6018715
The next quest Kid takes is to kill an evil scribe named OP.
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>6018715
What about Kid's gold
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>6018715
"You shall not pass!"
Double wizard spark OP with double lighting.
>>
>>6018719
"Oh wow, 176 gold. All in a hard day's work"
>>
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>>6018722
Captcha ate my pic
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>6018724
Ask Kid what he wants to buy with it so you can resist the urge to steal it.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>6018724
>>6018725
That much gold can buy Kid a NEW CAR
We gotta start our delivery business
>>
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>>6018725
"Well, since you already got me my new set of equipment. Maybe you want something, Miss Firemane? I could buy it for you, if I'm able"
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>6018730
Try not to cry at how pure he is.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>6018730
>>6018726
..... a new wagon?
>>
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>>6018731
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>6018735
Take an knightly oath to protect that smile.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>6018735
... It's time to head to the autoshop for parts
>>
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>>6018736
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>6018740
>>6018737
>>
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>>6018742
"Welcome to Ye Olde Wagon Workshop, how can I help you?"
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>6018748
Get me a new wagon, better one than what the Night Knight has, here are its specifications I uhhh....found
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>6018748
>>6018753
YEAH
>>
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>>6018756
"Hmmmmm....these are very detailed specs for the Night Knight's wagon. And you say you just...found it somewhere?"
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>6018762
Totally didn't sneak into his garage at night, no sir.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>6018762
Yeah, you know, on the uhhh uhhhh in the dustbin, yeah, these things happen
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>6018762
We got it from a nun.

Nun Ya Business
>>
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>>6018766
"Sister Yabusiness? Since when did she have an interest in wagon racing?"
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>6018782
You can go ask her after you give us our cool wagon.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>6018782
Girl secret
>>
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>>6018785
"Hmmm...alright then. This'll cost you. You sure you have enough?"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>6018790
I mean, probably.
>>
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Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>6018792
Roll 1d100 to find out
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>6018797
more questing may be needed
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>6018797
okay
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>6018797
>>
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>>6018798
Unfortunately, you are correct. Your combined money falls just short of making it.

"Darn. We gotta take on another quest, then"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>6018811
There's got to be a local sidequest we can do quick so we don't have to wait to load inbetween zones
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>6018811
Can we at least use what we have for a down-payment so he can start making it? So it'll be ready as soon as we're back?
>>
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>>6018818
Since it's 3 AM and I am feeling mega sleepy...sure! As soon as you scrounge up the rest of the cash, it'll be done.

Aaaand we'll continue probably tomorrow. Same starting time as this one. I gotta sleep. See ya

Updates b here n shit:
https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Why is OP away every time I have time to check on this thread?
>>
>>6018923
Timezones, mostly
>>
>>6018923
OP hates you specifically, anon
>>
>>6018923
Yeah op has said repeatedly,
>"man, I'm gonna rig the dice this time to annoy that particular anon! God I hate that anon!"
His words not ming.
>>
It's true, anon poisoned our water supply, burned our crops and delivered a plague upon our houses
>>
>>6019520
I drew a red mark, on my door. You can't touch me!
>>
>>6019520
Now OP, it's not okay to place blame on someone else for things you did.
>>
>>6018811
It want to obliterate the twink's pelvis and preserve his smile. (In that order)
>>
>>6021109
I know it's you, Firemane!
>>
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bread
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>6022164
Toast the guy's bread on his head
>>
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>>6022165
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>6022164
>>6022165
Make him toast knight
>>
>>6022167
Alright, back to the guild to pick up another quest
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>6022167
I dub thee sir toast knight
>>
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>>6022172
"what"
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>6022174
>>6022169
Time to go before it gets awkward
>>
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>>6022175
Right. Just another quest should give you enough cash.....so that Kid could buy you a new wagon
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>6022181
welp, back to our favorite receptionist
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>6022181
Go to the wagon store and buy a wagon from a flagon dragon.
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>6022181
Say good morning to the kind old man that sells buttons every Friday in front the Guild Hall.
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>6022181
Why DOES he want to buy me a wagon anyways? What's his angle? He must be planning something AND THAT WIZARD IS IN ON IT TOO
>>
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>>6022183
"Back already? That means you already spent all that gold huh?"
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>6022194
Yes, all one gold I HATE YOU SO MUCH....ahem, so what's the next quest on the board?
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>6022194
Gimme a teammate that does some punching! In the name of dah lord!
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>6022194
No. But also yes. Give me a quest.
>>
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>>6022196
"well now that sounds weirdly specific"
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>6022204
Quest. NOW.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>6022204
It is, because (leans in closer) there's an undead boxing match and I need a ringer..
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>6022204
PUNCHING TEAMMATE!
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>6022204
Healer will do too, unless double W can do healing magic, HEY D WIZ, YOU KNOW HEALING SPELLS!?
>>
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>>6022207
"...are you betting on this fight? You do remember what happened the last time you tried your hand at gambling right?"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>6022212
IT WENT WELL, SHUT UP THE GAME WAS RIGGED THERE WAS NO WAY BIGFIST DEATHPUNCH COULD'VE DEFEATED SCRAWNITUS!!!
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>6022212
I do, but I got collateral
Show hero
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>6022212
I remember, we ended up getting completely cleaned out by some dude with a ridiculously long and pointy nose who wouldn't stop crying.
>>
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>>6022214
"Right..."
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>6022218
So give us the quest.
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>6022218
So show me to my fighter and I'll do a free quest if we lose and you get hero boy here.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>6022220
I will personally track down and kill you if you lose our boy, you holy fist Addict
>>
>>6022226
I hope to see you soon
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>6022228
I am going to cast mend buttcrack on you and then use power word: shit yourself
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>6022230
Are you auto rolling? Also if you just added my fist knight you wouldn't have this fear now.
>>
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>>6022220
"Sure, head to the hall over there. There should be some free guild members"
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>6022231
Crew's full, stop trying to force the fist knight in every single action
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>6022233
Now, we heading straight for the money
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>6022233
Grab fist of God and let's go!
>>
>>6022235
Your mom's full, stop denying and just learn to roll with the punches.
>>
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>>6022237
Which one
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>6022243
Left
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>6022241
Nah, it's a forced character.
>>
>>6022246
And everything else isn't? Everything is painfully forced even your response.
>>
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Ladies, please. Get a room
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>6022249
You heard him!
>>
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>>6022244
"Firemane, was it? How can I help you?"
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>6022251
We have a job for you! We need some one to win the Undead Boxing Match to pay off some gambling debt that some other irresponsible knight put on me!
>>
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>>6022254
And his answer is......
we'll find out later. Preferably in like 6-7 hours. Maybe more. My everything suddenly hurts and I gotta go lie down and pass out
>>
>>6022256
Gasp
Ok op relax later
>>
>>6022256
Good, that means the curse is working.
>>
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>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>6022853
Toast this guy's bread but also have fist of god punch himself in the face
>>
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>>6022854
"w-why would I punch myself in the face?"
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>6022859
it's a tradition, fist of god
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>6022861
>>6022859
I'm he's right
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>6022859
No reason.

So, your answer?
>>
>>6022853
Man, Firemane is stalked by some sort of bread demon. It just keeps appearing.
>>
>>6022864
If he says "no" we hire him. We need normal people on our team
>>
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Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>6022864
"Hmmmmm. an Undead Boxing Match you say...."

Roll 2d100. First roll is for picking, second roll is to contest my roll
>>
Rolled 76, 54 = 130 (2d100)

>>6022871
maybe its a sign from the bread god that he's not cool with what firemane is up to
>>6022875
the burnt toast match
>>
>>6022875
Yeah, you punch, like, skeletons and vampires, you do that for a living already, don't'cha?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d200)

>>6022875
>>
Rolled 90, 30 = 120 (2d100)

>>6022880
Its easy
>>
Rolled 34, 26 = 60 (2d100)

>>6022875
>>
Rolled 97, 59 = 156 (2d100)

>>6022875
Yeah. Bringing holy weapons(fists) is kind of cheating, but who cares, it's money
>>
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>>6022885
"Ah, it is the lord's work to purify the unholy abominations through righteous fisticuffs. And because this is a holy mission....we'll be donating most of our winnings to the church, won't we? It's for charity"
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>6022891
........... 30 percent maybe?????
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>6022891
Highest of charity that I know of!
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>6022891
We're going to give the money to this innocent pure hero.
>>
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>>6022896
".....my child, have you ever thought about joining a religious order?"

"huh?"
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>6022900
oh no, it's a preacher
>>
>>6022900
If someone tries to make him take a vow of celibacy, Firemane is going to make napalm look like a matchstick.
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>6022900
He's in the Boy Holy Fire Scouts! You know ... A trainee into the religious order!
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>6022902
Forgot the dice
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>6022900
Oh shit, we're gonna lose our boy to some nun. Or worse the BROTHERHOOD
UMMM ACTUALLY, he already has a prophecy to fulfil, you know you can't mix higher purposes like that
>>
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>>6022903
"He is?! Ahaha! Why didn't you say so? Good on you, lad. I remember my time in the fire scouts. Such fond memories. Soon enough you'll be moving on up and join the Order proper! Say, how's old Gerard is doing nowadays? Is still the same old curmudgeon I remember?"

"Uuuhhhhh...."
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>6022914
There's no time to worry about that, we conveniently need to get to the tournament before it begins!
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>6022914
Gerard's dead uhhhh....a griffin got him...*cough*
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>6022914
He is in troup ... 209 ... You know the poor region.
>>
>>6022916
>>6022917
>>6022921
>three under 10 rolls in a row
What are the chances?
>>
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>>6022923
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>6022924
Okay well can we go to the tournament now?
>>
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>>6022925
"Errr, Miss Firemane, a tournament? I thought it's just one boxing match?"
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>6022927
Yeah but if we call it a tournament he'll have more chance to win because plot reasons.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>6022927
It sounds cooler that way
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>6022927
I forgot. I dumped INT stat
Sorry my bad
>>
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>>6022928
But what if he loses on the first round tho
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>6022934
Silly BOY, in tournaments only losers lose first round, and we aren't that, not only are we not losers, there is only one round as well, so we're safe
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>6022934
Then we burn down the Guildhall and flee with Kid to a foreign country to escape our debts.
>>
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>>6022937
Gee, Firemane, that sounds like an overreaction
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>6022939
Ain't nobody taking firemane's future hus- I mean apprentice from her.
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>6022939
That's what he gets for paying me 1 gold, OP, that's what that guy gets
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>6022939
That 1 gold payment really radicalized her
>>
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>>6022942
>>6022944
"Hmmm hmmm yesssss. Goood. Good. Start hating the government, Firemane. Hate the establishments. Soon, we can attack the kingdom's Tax Knights"
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>6022947
Okay, enough joking. Time for the fight.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>6022947
Is Boy indoctrinated into holy fists yet?
We kind of abandoned him there >>6022914
>>
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>>6022949
Of course. And the opponent is....

A. Big Bone Jones
B. One Eyed Zed
C. Carlos
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>6022960
How big are we talking about concerning Jones?
A
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>6022960
>B
How hard can it be to beat up a zombie
>>
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>>6022963
Well he could be small, making his nickname ironic.

Or he's a skeleton of a giant
>>
>>6022966
Or he's a fat skelly. Big boned
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>6022966
Actually he's a normal sized skeleton... except for one very large bone. His fist.
Choosing
>A
Btw
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>6022966
Maybe he just has one freakishly large bone
>>
>>6022969
>>6022970
Holy hivemind
Dice gods have spoken
>>
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>>6022969
>>6022970
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>6022974
Yeah, that one, lock in
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>6022974
yes
>>
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>>6022976
>>6022981
"So you are to be my opponent, abomination?"

"You bet yer ass, church boy"
>>
>>6022989
This will be the best fisting contest ever
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>6022989
Pull his finger
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>6022993
>>6022989
>>
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>>6022996
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>6023000
Trips, checked
>>
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>>6023002
>>
>>6023016
You'll understand one day, Kid.

Now back to the fight. It's time to ru-ru-RUMBLE
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>6023018
dice
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>6023016
Steve, the Strongest Skeleton, is cheering on Big Bone Jones from the stands.
>>
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>>6023021
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>6023029
>>6023032
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>6023032
The match is startingt which means it's time to make "omnious" "comments" that have "quotation marks" in every "fifth word"
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>6023032
Punch-out showdown.
>>
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>>6023035
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>6023052
Anyways where is the betting booth?
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>6023052
Punch him in the FIST

He'll never expect *that*.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>6023052
Double Wizard hogging all the drinks. That's bad civilization.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>6023052
Double wizard cast double punches on fist of god
>>
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>>6023056
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>6023061
The commitment to the double bit is honestly admirable
>>6023052
Do any of the fighters look like they are having a dramatic flashback yet? Gotta watch out for that, that's a big power spike
>>
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>>6023065
What will become of the Fist of God?! Will he prevail or will he fail?! Will Firemane's wallet survive the ordeal?!

Find out.....i dunno, whenever next time is. Hopefully tomorrow. I'm sleepy.

Updates b here n shit: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>6023075
Youre a cool guy OP and this quest aint bad either
Contemplate on situation
>>
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>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>6028980
Toast it.
>>
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>>6028983
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>6028990
Now eat it.
>>
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>>6028991
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>6028997
but no mouth
>>
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>>6028999
The Firemane Family secret technique: opening and closing the faceplate on their helmets so fast with every bite that people see that they're seemingly eating with no mouths.

Definitely not to save budget on animating mouths
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>6029002
Now let's see the beatdown
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>6029002
How's the fight between Fist of God and Jones?
>>
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>>6029006
JONES IS THROWING OUT MULTIPLE JABS WITH HIS NORMAL SIZED ARM! AND THE FIST OF GOD IS WEAVING EFFORTLESSLY BETWEEN THEM!
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>6029016
HIT EM WITH THE SMITE FIST OF GOD
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>6029016
EMPOWER THEM WITH OUR WILD CHEERING
>>
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>>6029017
FIST OF GOD HITS A MASSIVE BLOW THAT SHAKES THE RING! BUT JONES MANAGED TO DODGE IT
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>6029029
more like fist of miss
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>6029016
Double wizard cast double attack>>6029029
>>
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>>6029030
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>6029036
>>6029036
is boy taking notes?
>>
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>>6029037
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>6029039
start selling toast to arenagoers
>>
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>>6029040
"...take opportunity...to make some cash on the side....got it."
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>6029041
>CAPITALIZE ON THE UNDEREXPLOITED TOAST MARKET TO MAKE BANK
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>6029041
Rolling for toast sales
>>
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>>6029042
What a valuable lesson to teach to the boy
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>6029052
How much gold did we make?
>>
>>6029056
AND THE AMOUNT OF GOLD YOU MADE IS...

roll 1d100 for it
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>6029065
LOADS
>>
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>>6029065
>>
>>6029067
>>6029066
THAT ANON'S GOT IT
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>6029065
>>
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>>6029066
>>6029067
58 Gold! Nice! Now if FoG wins too, that's another buncha gold
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>6029073
Meanwhile, Kid spotted Night Knight having a drink in the stands
>>
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>>6029074
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>6029081
What purpose could Night Knight possibly have for attending such an event?
>>
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>>6029083
"hmmmm, according to miss firemane's incredibly unbiased re-tellings. Night Knight can't be up to anything good"
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>6029089
Hero go spy on Night Knight!
>>
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>>6029092
"wait! I heard about this...this is a quest given to me by miss Firemane! A companion quest?!"
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>6029095
It's gotta be! Go get em, hero!
>>
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>>6029097
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>6029114
Surely Night Knight doesn't notice our apprentice.
>>
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Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>6029116
DOES HE?
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>6029122
Spin
>>
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>>6029126
Kid turned around in time. night Knight doesn't suspect a thing
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>6029137
Walk up toward Night Knight to strike up a conversation with him. Maybe getting some useful advice out of it.
>>
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>>6029142
"Ah! Hello young man. How can I help you?"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>6029154
He recognizes something about the boy but is unsure what
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>6029154
Ask him what he's doing at the arena fight tournament thingy
>>
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>>6029166
"Ah! It's because, my boy, being the greatest and most successful racer in the kingdom, I have plenty of money to spare. So I think I deserve some fun gambling now and then, don't you?"
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>6029169
Look at him with a disgusted face
>>
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>>6029170
"You look like a strapping young lad. How'd you like to become a squire for House Night?"
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>6029174
Wait Hero, this is a chance to infiltrate! You can learn some real sneaky stuff doing this.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>6029174
Disgusted expression increase
>>
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>>6029175
But that'd mean breaking away from Firemane!
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>6029184
That's true. In any case, regroup back with Firemane.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>6029184
tell this man, that from this point on, you and he are enemies.
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>6029184
FIST OF GOD pov
>>
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>>6029187
Oh hey, there's the boy. Wonder where he went. He's gonna miss the match!
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>6029191
Yo put boy on your shoulders so he can see
>>
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>>6029193
I don't think he minds being slightly burned
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>6029197
NOW FOR THE DECISIVE PART BETWEEN JONES AND FIST OF GOD
WHO WILL TAKE IT???
>>
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>>6029198
THEY'RE MOVING IN! WATCHOUT FOR THAT GIANT BONEY FIST!
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>6029200
FIST OF GOD USES HIS MONK TECHNIQUES TO SIDESTEP
>>
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Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>6029201
CAN HE?!
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>6029202
>>
>>6029202
>>6029203
OH SHIT
>>
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>>6029203
THE TWO FIGHTERS CLASH!...AND THE FIST OF GOD ANNIHILATES BIG BONE JONES'S BIG BONE FIST!
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>6029206
Big Bones Jones...you were too strong...that's why you lost
>>
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>>6029207
You could swear Big Bone Jones was muttering something about some guy named Sandro or whatever. In any case. Fist of god won!

And OP gotta go for a bit. Be back in like 3 hours. Maybe more
>>
>>6029214
OP its been three hours, plus some 24 hours but who cares for those
>>
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>>6030292
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>6030297
Get back here you maggot, it's time for adventure
>>
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>>6030300
>>
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Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>6030303
The Fist won, so that means it's time to get our GAMBLING MONEY
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>6030308
>>6030303
The biggest money!
>>
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>>6030309
>>6030308
Yes. Yes. Congrats. Here is your winnings of....1 gold
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>6030313
Slap him
>>
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>>6030314
>>6030314
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>6030325
Give us our fuckin moni
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>6030325
Keep beating until we get our fucking money
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>6030325
Incinerate the fake mustache while it's still in flight with a precise fireball. For intimidation(and coolness) purposes
>>
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>>6030328
>>6030332
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>6030334
Okay cool now let's fuck off, let's see that stupid guild guy's face when we tell him we won.
>>
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>>6030337
"Sooooo...How's the fight?"
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>6030338
We won bitch, and that means you lost! We're keeping the boy forever!
>>
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>>6030339
"Sure. Not like I wanted to be involved in human trafficking or anything. Honestly putting the boy up for collateral said more about you than me"
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>6030354
well uh

shut up
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>6030354
JEALOUS, you are just jealous you don't have a mini-me like I do!
>>
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>>6030357
"Pfft, sounds like coping to me. But you do you"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>6030358
so anyways, do you have any like uuuuh, 10000 gold fetch quests or escort quests, you know, simple stuff?
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>6030358
okay well we have the money, so now we can go buy the wagon, right?
>>
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>>6030361
"An easy quest that also pays alot of money?What a simple request, Fireman. You're just so nice, sometimes"
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>6030366
take it as a compliment, scratch back of head embarassed
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>6030366
I curse the Order of Bureaucrat Knights!
cough, I mean uhhh, got a new plume? Its really fitting....anyways what you got?
>>
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>>6030367
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>6030379
Remember we already placed the order for the wagon and we finally have money to finish paying it.
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>6030379
What words of wisdom is the holy warrior bestowing on Ezekiel?
>>
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>>6030381
Of course! You must have been so excited over your winnings, you forgot
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>6030390
..so go.
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>6030390
>>6030392
No, stop
>>
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>>6030392
But Firemane! You just got some cash! Don't you wanna....enjoy your winnings a bit first? HMmmmm?
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>6030401
Yes...MY WINNINGS WILL BE BEATING THAT FUCKER NIGHT KNIGHT IN A RACE
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>6030401
Here's the plan. We pay off the wagon first. Then we go get blackout drunk with the kid. Not like drinking age exists in this society.
>>
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>>6030404
>>6030404
yeah cool, you'll get your souped up wagon next time.

Cuz I dunno what happened but my back super hurts alot. imma have to end it here. sorry

udpates r here n shit: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
It ogre
>>
>>6030440
OP became old, tragic
>>
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bread
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>6036017
Previously, on Hero Quest Z...
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>6036027
>>6036017
[Autistic Power-up noises from Hand of God]
>>
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>>6036030
>>6036027
Yes, of course! Fist of God powered up into his Super Fist of God form and finished off Big Bone Jones. This is definitely totally what happened for real
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>6036037
Hero-kun totally believes thiz
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>6036037
Scan his power level, Double Wizard.
>>
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>>6036042
"...and then he blasted the skeleton with his Holy Hallelujah Wave."

"Wooooooow. Despite literally being there, I see no reason to doubt your version of the story, Double Wizard"

"Trust me, boy. I got WIZARD EYES. DOUBLE WIZARD EYES"
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>6036046
Okay, back to the plot. It's wagon time!
>>
>>6036046
How many licks does it get into the center of a double wizard?
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>6036055
>>6036046
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>6036055
The OG Double probably asked him that and he never got what she wanted him to do
>>
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>>6036056
"I dunno. At least, uh, five, I guess? Maybe more? Not sure. My teacher used to ask me that too. When I gave the same answer just now she just sighed for a really long time and stared out the window. Dunno why tho"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>6036067
So disgusted in DW's answer we go back to the plot with new team mate
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>6036067
Firemane promises to herself she'll never let herself end up like her.
>>
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>>6036069
How horrifying
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>6036072
Okay, time to shoot the thoughts away with WAGON
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>6036072
She could have but she is already driving her wagon with out thinking about it
>>
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>>6036074
"So....you got the money yet?"
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>6036080
Yep. Now, WAGON
>>
>>6036080
Slap him with our riches. They have to tolerate it. It's in their union contract.
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>6036082
>>6036080
>>
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Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>6036086
>It's in their union contract.

OR IS IT?
>>
>>6036090
It is
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>6036092
>>6036090
>>
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>>6036093
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>6036095
Now give us our WAAAGON. No more waiting, just wagon.
>>
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>>6036096
Finally, the Wagon Knight wheels out your brand spanking new Wagon
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>6036107
GET IN FELLAS
WE'RE LEAVING IN STYLE
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>6036107
FINALLY I CAN BEAT NIGHT KNIGHT, WHERE IS HE!?
WHERE IS THAT FRAUD!!!
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>6036109
Now hold on a minute, we can't just go anywhere. This calls for a celebration.

>>6036107
It's time to take the wagon...and drink! Double Wizard can't come though it's an apprentice and master thing (totally not because you're still angry he didn't give you a drink earlier)
>>
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>>6036112
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>6036117
...wait boy can't drink, he's underage!
Hm I know! Boy, you take the wheel and takes us on a joyride while me and Double Wizard are getting absolutely smashed
How's that for a compromise?
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>6036121
>he's underage
Nuh-huh, he's not the Literal Child, so that means he's perfectly lega- i mean he's totally within the drinking age. Now get in the car quick and let's get hammered with our apprentice.
>>
>>6036124
How old is he anyways? Don't think it was ever established
>>
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>>6036124
Surely you're not planning anything....nefarious, Firemane
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>6036134
Uhhh... oh look Night Knight sleep driving in the middle of daylight. Let go for test ride.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>6036134
Nefarious? There's nothing nefarious about getting hammered with our apprentice. Anything that may or may not happen will be not at all planned or nefarious.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>6036141
You, sir, are a coward.
>>
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>>6036141
Well that doesn't look safe
>>
>>6036146
Damn. Oh well, time to get smash.
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>6036152
Since people seem to be confused on the subject, let's just settle this for once and for all before we go into any wacky sidequests: how old is Ezekiel?
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>6036152
HEY DIPSHIT, WAKE UP!!!
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>6036152
>Clearly we must engage in a NAPPING CONTEST
>>
>>6036158
>>6036161
Guess we'll never know, then.
>>
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>>6036161
"A whatnow?"
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>6036166
Double Wizard! Knock me out with a sleeping spell!
>>
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>>6036168
"DOUBLE SLEEP"
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>6036174
Time for the dream race to start.
>>
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>>6036179
Alright, you're in the dream realm. Now time to find Night Knight and show him who's boss
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>6036189
Get the coolest wagon ever
>>
>>6036189
>Ride the dragon to find him
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>6036189
Use your seething hatred to make his position appear like a radar.
>>
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>>6036197
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>6036202
Firemane facts: I am 100 meters from your location, and approachigng rapidly.

Start running.
>>
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>>6036204
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>6036214
DREAM RACE
NOW
HAVE IT BE A REPRESENTATION OF SOMETHING WHILE WE'RE AT IT
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>6036214
NIGHT KNIGHT! YOUR RIVAL HAS RETURNED! I BRING THE DESTRUCTION OF YOUR WIN STREAK!
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>6036214
your gay and a retard. you look so stupid - your a noob at wagon racing and your such a retard that has no friends and your ugly under the helmet.
>>
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>>6036217
"FIREMANE?! HERE TO CHALLENGE ME TO A RACE?! WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS DREAM?"
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>6036221
I will pull up to beat your ass in any wagon race, even the ones in your dreams. FAGGOT
>>
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>>6036223
"AH! I SEE HOW IT IS! YOU MUST BE THE REPRESENTATION OF MY OWN DOUBTS AND FEARS! MY SELF DOUBT ABOUT IF I ACTUALLY WON AGAINST FIREMANE! THAT FAITHFUL RACE! AND IF I DEFEAT YOU, I WILL BECOME ASSURED IN MY VICTORY!!"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>6036230
Try me bitch
Rev up that wagon
>>
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>>6036232
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>6036239
Hey did you remember to put on pants when you got up for the race this morning?
>>
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>>6036240
He looks down to check!
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>6036249
Now that he is distracted, we can win the race easy peasy with the head start.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>6036249
GO GO GO GO GO GO
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>6036249
I will win this race rival and nobody going to stop that. Baka.
>>
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>>6036252
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>6036258
>>6036256
Blaze up the engine.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>6036258
the fire that burns twice as bright, burns half as long
>>
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>>6036262
You're like a fireball, Firemane! Blazing across the raceway!
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>6036269
IS SOMETHING COMING?!
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>6036269
Night Knight's wagon grows bat wings that let him glide a huge shortcut
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>6036269
wait... you got hit with double sleep. Is this really your dream? Or just your dream's dream?
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>6036269
Wake up no driving while asleep!
>>
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>>6036277
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>6036291
What is a dream, but a collection of memories altered by the subconscious ego. Hero kun shows up to hit on fire knight.
>>
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>>6036293
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>6036299
Inverse the camera
>>
>>6036301
I don't even know what that means
>>
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>>6036301
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>6036317
I don't know, probably some conceptual shit? Something about Firemane finally coming to terms about how she feels about her apprentice?
>>
>>6036321
We feel... maternal
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>6036317
>>6036326
Supported.
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>6036326
>maternal
fuck no nigga, don't ruin this
>>
>>6036331
Ha! The dice agree. No mommy stuff.
>>
>>6036333
Would you look at that, an trip too. Definitely no maternal nothing.
>>
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>>6036331
>>6036328
>>6036326
>>
>>6036321
>>6036331
I'm confused. Weren't you just rolling for a relationship?
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>6036338
>>6036339
I have nothing but hatred for the phillistine trying to ruin a perfectly good mentor woman and young apprentice boy relationship with mommy stuff. Firemane shall not be tainted by that. She must feel for Ezekiel not as a 'son', but as a man she will turn into a great hero and possibly more.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>6036338
Firemane is wagonsexual so no romance ever okay.
Now, while this was happening, we won the race.
Nighty Knighty, you are a stupid fag. You don't got any pants to wear. When you wake up now, in a cold sweat, remember that if you mess with the Mane you gonna get flamed.
>>
>>6036338
I don't know what's happening, QM. I don't want Firemane to be a groomer.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>6036341
You tasteless fool, why must you ruin this.
>>
>>6036342
>groomer
Why do people keep acting like we picked the 'literal child' option when we didn't
>>
>>6036340
You fool, I was only trying to avert the even worse fate of shotashit. Maternal(platonic).
>>
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>>6036341
"uh huh....clearly you got some problems of your own to sort out, lady"
>>
>>6036349
>shota
Your definition of 'shota' is very broad.
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>6036350
She's just mad about missing this year's Queen of /qst/ Tournament, whatever that is. She'll have another shot next year.
>>
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>>6036353
"Man, I know this is a dream and all but none of what you just said made any sense."
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>6036355
Fuhgeddabout it, we'll beat the shit out of you in real life. Time to awake or somethin'
>>
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>>6036356
Awaken
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>6036361
I say, i say, i've said this before, and i'm certain it sounds annoying, but i want to settle all debates on this so i can either shut up myself and not post about it or the other side can. Ask Ezekiel how old he is.
>>
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>>6036363
"Aaaahhhh....Firemane...you finally woke up...."
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>6036371
Well, that's definitely not shota!

Okay, i'll see myself out.
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>6036371
Ezekiel The Hero.... is that you???
SURELY DOUBLE WIZARD DIDN'T DOUBLE THE AMOUNT OF SLEEP WE GET
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>6036371
double wizard clearly swapped clothing with boy as a prank.
>>
>>6036372
>>6036373
>>6036374
huh, that's three posts that are an exact increment of 10 over the other. what are the chances.
>>
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>>6036374
"No I---I mean, no he didn't. Shut up anon"
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>6036384
Start yanking his double beard
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>6036384
Actually, i want to see how Kid looks in wizard robes.
>>
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>>6036389
"what do you mean Kid? It's, uh, me. Super Old Double Wizard. yeah"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>6036398
Neat, so anyway how old are you Kid?
>>
>>6036401
I've already made my peace with not knowing it.
>>
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>>6036401
"I am now at least 90 years old...you slept so long..."

"y-yeah...snrrkk..."
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>6036405
Set the old man's beard on fire
>>
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>>6036407
The Old Man?....Which one?
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>6036408
THE ONE ON THE LEFT
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>6036408
I have a better idea. If he's really 90 years old...then he should have no trouble..eating this EXTREMELY HARD PIECE OF OLD MAN CANDY
>>
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>>6036410
WILL """""""OLD MAN EZEKIEL"""""""" BE ABLE TO CHOW DOWN THIS EXTREMELY HARD PIECE OF CANDY?! WHY DOES FIREMANE EVEN HAVE ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE?

ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE WILL BE ANSWERED....LATER, WHEN BREAD CONTINUES. AS IT'S ALMOST 6 AM AND I GOTTA PASS OUT NOW

UPDATES N SHIT: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
w0mnxvYo OP how you holding up man? You keep going to sleep and constantly mention you have pains and stuff. Whats going on big guy?
>>
>>6039724
I'm old.

Tragic
>>
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>>6040653
eew
>>
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>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>6043881
And now back to our local quest in progress.
>>
>>6043881
You need more fiber oldop
>>
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>>6043882
"...but....firemane.....it's been...so long....the quests....are goone...."
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>6043885
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY WAGON WILL FOREVER BE GARBAGE
>>
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>>6043886
"Y-Yeah, what a shame, snrrrkk----Ahem"
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>6043888
punch self in the face and gimme a quick summary I was in coma
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>6043888
Wait, if we slept for decades, then how come we're still young and hot?
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>6043888
AND FOR THAT I MUST TAKE IT OUT ON THE OLD BEARDED HERO
>>
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>>6043893
"Surely you wouldn't hurt an old man, wouldcha?"
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>6043895
You're the nearest one
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>6043895
shifty fuck you read my book
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>6043895
Everybody knows that old heroes are actually extremely buff under their clothes. TACKLE HIM!
>>
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>>6043896
"Yeah we--OH MY GOD FREE WAGON UPGRADES!"
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>6043914
WHERE?
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>6043914
That move can't trick me anymore, nobody would tell someone about free wagon upgrades instead of taking them for themselves!
>>
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>>6043916
"Right over th--DOUBLE FLASH"
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>6043924
Double wizard this entire time!? That silly Billy!
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>6043924
Punch the light
>>
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>>6043931
"Oh hey there Firemane. Finally woke up have you?"
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>6043944
Who's driven the wagon!?
>>
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>>6043945
"Nobody. You've been only asleep for an hour, give or take"
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>6043945
This but more comical
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>6043947
We really need to give you driving lessons, Kid.
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>6043947
Better take the wheel then. Where are we going again?
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>6043947
ButFist of God isn't driving, and you aren't driving an double wizard isnt driving and I'm no driving!? That only means!?
>>
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>>6043951
Right. New fangled ride. Time to...

A. Go for a relaxing cruise
B. Take on another epic quest
C. Find Night Knight and beat him for real
D. Visit where Kid lives
E. Do sick tricks
F. [this space for rent]
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>6043962
D, I wanna see Starterheroville, if it hasn't been burned down by the Evil Overlord Army yet.
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>6043962
A + E
Outrun this shit
splash wave starts playing
WHERE YOU GONNA TAKE ME
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>6043963
This +e
>>
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>>6043963
"That's right Miss Firemane! With this new wagon we can go visit my hometown of Starterheroville! I haven't gone back in a while and I think I should check up on 'em. Boy. Sure hope they're doing well"
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>6043962
Hey where is Fist of God? He is part of the party anymore? Damn... Must be prepping in the trunk.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>6043970
>>6043969
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>6043969
Don't worry "nothing ever happens"
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>6043969
they are all on fire ain't they
>>
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>>6043974
"Man! Can't wait to visit all my friends. Wait til they hear that I became an actual adventurer! We don't usually get much excitement back in Starterheroville. It's why when there was a prophecy about a hero saving the world or something they sent me away right there! I think they're just being superstitious though, since nothing ever happens"
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>6043982
"Oh look, a lot of smoke in that direction, must be a festival!"
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>6043982
Hey a peasant that is smoldering from a fire. Huh I wonder what it that means?
>>
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>>6043986
"Huh...that kinda looks like my neighbor Bob. But that can't be! Why would Bob be lying dead from a fire?!"
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>6043992
Oh boy. Better call up the orchestra,. we're gonna need an Standard Sad Dramatic Reveal score...
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>6043992
pranked!
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>6043996
>>6043992
Cuz it's funny
>>
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>>6043995
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>6044004
Okay, big reveal, pan over to the village.
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>6044004
why they are all skellies
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>6044004
The skellies orchestrated by Lollisniffer.
Should have known.
>>
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>>6044008
Wooowwww so any skeleton looks like Lolisniffer to you, anon? Racist
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>6044009
it's the similar suit, OP
it's obviously not Lolisniffer. he doesn't have ears for music!
It's his long lost brother Flatchestopatter
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>6044009
Well yeah. Because he wears a snappy suit and is The only one that controls all those skellies and doesn't have any problems. Think about Op.
>>
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>>6044010
Of course of course, anyway, let's pan the camera back to Starterheroville and...

"NO! THE ENTIRE TOWN IS IN FLAMES!"
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>6044014
Well that's certainly warm welcome
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>6044014
That's normal. We live in fire. It's how my village lives.
>>
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>>6044015
Har har, very fu--Oh shit Kid's running towards the burning town
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>6044025
WAIT, KID! IT'S TOO DANGEROUS!
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>6044025
We have fire resistance, right? So uhh. Follow him and drag him out if he catches on fire!
>>
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Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>6044031
Go geddim!
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>6044034
nyeah
>>
>>6044035
Welp?
>>
>>6044035
You nyeah'd real well. It's now Firemane's iconic funny sound bit
>>
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>>6044035
You managed to reach him in time before he hurts himself! Because right in front of him, amidst the burning town, is....

A. The Evil Overlord and his Minions!
B. The Demon King and his Unholy Congregation!
C. The Mega Barbarian, The Scourge of the North, and his warband!
D. The Evil Brother of Ezekiel!
E. The undead horde controlled by an evil lich!
F. [write-in]
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>6044048
F. You've been pranked by the evil prank king! Yes your village is still on fire and people are dying but it was a praaaaaaank!
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>6044048
The Evil Undead Mega Barbarian King Lich, who also happen s to be Ezekiel's Evil Brother!
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>6044048
F. I would say some kind of antagonist that could be recruited later.
>>
>>6044051
Oh shit, nice

But, swap in "King Lich" for "Lich King", it sounds better that way. Evil Undead Mega Barbarian Lich King
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>6044048
>C. The Mega Barbarian, The Scourge of the North, and his warband!
The absolute unit. The mega hunk. He's just standing there, all shirtless.
>>
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>>6044051
Damn that's alotta modifiers to draw...
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>6044061
After him, Annons!
Don't let him get away again!
>>
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>>6044063
>>
>>6044061
It's a perfectly cromulent amount of modifiers. Just think of it as "Eumblk"
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>6044066
Ok reel him in, nice and easy, he's big but he will tire quick!
>>
>>6044067
We need to Embiggen such a roll.
>>
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>>6044068
Anyway. Evil Mega Barbarian Lich King Brother
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>6044083
Ey, Zee, looks kinda like you, doesn't he?
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>6044085
Said
>>6044083
Fist of God who was with the party they entire time.
>>
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>>6044085
"He is....because he's....MY BROTHER"

DUN DUN DUN

and im kinda sleepy so we're suspending this here and continuing tomorrow night. see yas

udpates n shit: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>6044092
thanks for bread OP
take care and treat yourself a poakbun
>>
>>6044092
>and im kinda sleepy
Sure you are, OP, that's what happens when you grow old
>>
>>6044118
Give him a break his grandparents died from being old, it's heritary!
>>
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>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>6045509
Fist of God, who was there the entire time just in the back is with double wizard who is also gasping in shock.
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>6045510
Are you going to try to insert fist of god in every single post?
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>6045509
punch self in the face
>>
>>6045512
No just making sure he is part of the party. He doesn't need to be the center of attention by any means. Just a party member.
>>
>>6045514
And you think you can do that by just spamming votes about inserting him into a situation until you roll good?
>>
>>6045515
let anon worship his god. it's free country
>>
>>6045515
First roll isn't spamming and I don't know why him being part of the party is such a big issue to you.
>>
>>6045517
Because you keep trying to insert him into every single situation

Every adventure it's
and fist of god is there too!
>>
>>6045518
Last few threads I did once and moved on. He's part of the party. Why is this so hard for you to deal with? You aren't going to be in control all the time, maybe you should get over it.
>>
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>>6045510
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>6045520
Nice. Moving on now. Hold hero back, the lich barbarian is a super classic of it's own!
>>
>>6045519
You do this every adventure and it's getting annoying.
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>6045520
stalkers aside, how many villagers are still alive?
>>
>>6045522
Frankly it's not every adventure, the fact you bitching about it is. What irritating is how you cant learn t play with others so you complain about how you don't always get your way.
Learn to "yes and..." And you won't be such a faggot.
>>
>>6045522
>>6045524
get a room
or a chapel
>>
>>6045524
>If you don't like how i constantly force in this character i'm obsessed with, YO'URE the annoying one!
You gonna say he has access to a time machine next too?
>>
>>6045525
I'm trying but he seems to think I'm a protestant whore and not Catholic.
>>6045522
See this is called yes and..
>>
>>6045526
See >>6045510
And see>>6045514
There you go honey. You can stop whining now.
>>
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Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>6045523
Quick! roll 1d100 to look around!
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>6045531
Activate fire sense! Find things that arent easily burned!
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>6045531
if only two random villages on fire stopped screaming to each other something about gods, it'd be easier to find survivors
>>
>>6045528
>yes and
Okay, then i guess you wont mind if if spam every single choice with "and then Fist of God got erased from reality and was never seen again" right? Because apparently, it's okay to spam the same thing until you roll high enough to force it.
>>
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>>6045536
You can detect about a handful of people still alive around the burning town.
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>6045544
Smack hero in the face and say
"PEOPLE! ALIVE! OVER THERE! GO SAVE!"
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>6045544
Go rescue them, and slap boy so he come back to his senses and help
cause I bet villagers will get spooked when someone literally on fire will try to help them
>>
>>6045544
Try to go save them? Kid isn't fireproof but you are.
>>
>>6045542
That would be denying what's already there.
Don't worry you can have another party member you want if you roll it.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>6045550
Forgot
>>
>>6045551
>already there
If you can spam your way into forcing your annoying poochie in a scene I can spam into removing him. But I'm not lame enough to do that.
>>
>>6045554
Complaining over it makes you really lame desu.
>>
>>6045557
You try to do it in literally single adventure. In our first adventure with Ezekiel, in our second, in our third, every single adventure it's just "and then Fist of God appears!!!"
>>
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>>6045547
"That's right. Little Brother. Run. You are far too weak to challenge me"
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>6045563
Oh boy, off goes Ezekiel. Time for the obligatory forced loss fight where the protagonist gets his ass beat.
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>6045563
well he maybe. but I eat likes of you on the breakfast
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>6045563
Don't fall for it hero-kun! He's trying to bait you like this anon>>6045562
Focus on dah people!
Also get the other party members to help with the evac.
>>
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>>6045565
Alright Ezekiel. Time for DEEP AND COMPLEX MORAL CHOICES
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>6045574
Mystery box!
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>6045574
Charge in, redemption arcs are kino but for that you need something to redeem in the first place.
>>
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>>6045578
"...I'm sorry, Miss Firemane...BUT I CAN'T LET HIM GET AWAY WITH HIS CRIMES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>6045590
Double Wizard goes to save the people while Firemane tries to help Ezekiel but is stopped by a convenient arena blocker.
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>6045590
>>6045593
Yes And .... god of fist
Help double wizard. ;p
>>
>>6045597
I really couldn't help myself there. I will admit it.
>>
>>6045601
If you spam something long enough you will get good rolls, yes.
>>
>>6045605
Beating a 5 was simply the dice gods will.
>>
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>>6045597
>god of fist
>>
>>6045608
No, it's called "rolling fifty times until I get a good result". You failed many times when trying to force your obsession before in every single other adventure.
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>6045610
Back to the fight, please.
>>
>>6045611
Says the faggot doing the same thing.
>>
>>6045616
>doing the same thing
I don't remember trying to force something in every single adventure since the start.
>>
>>6045610
I can always trust you op
>>
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>>6045613
Ezekiel nyyoooooohhhh
>>
>>6045618
You were doing it the entire time complaining. Waaaah waaah I didn't get my way it's annoying someone else I playing the game. That's you.
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>6045622
Spam face block
>>
>>6045623
>Be annoying
>Someone says you're annoying
>"Um, actually, complaining about me being annoying is worse than being annoying. You should just let me be annoying and never complain."
>>
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>>6045625
Face Block?
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>6045628
You are being annoying by how much you fucking whine and complain. That's spamming that's you get over it and play the fucking game or leave.

>>6045629
Hero is unconscious and is speaking to his god
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>6045629
Blocking with the helmet, obviously.

>>6045631
>Actually, YOU'RE spamming by pointing out my spam!
Sure bro
>>
>>6045634
Exactly, that's what makes you a hypocrite. If I'm spamming and all you do is spam over my choices then that makes you worse. One post and you lost your shit the entire time. Get over it already and play the game or leave.
>>
>>6045636
Still not spam just because you say it is. I don't try to force it into the updates.
>>
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>>6045634
"Ezekiel! Try blocking with your helmet!" you yelled.

"Got it Miss Firemane....wait a sec, I'm not wearing a helmet. THis is more like a forehead guard or someth---"
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>6045639
Stop acting like a child already and get the fuck over it.
>>6045640
Try again but this time aim for his head.
>>
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>>6045641
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>6045646
Again!
>>
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>>6045647
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>6045664
The party watches as they keep going!
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>6045664
Agaaaaaaaaaaain!
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>6045664
Should we, like, intervene, Double Wizard?
>>
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>>6045665
"Damnit! Kid's gonna get himself killed! That barbarian is also an undead! I'm going in, Firemane! You're fire immune. Are you with me?! "
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>6045678
LET'S DO IT
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>6045678
Sure, lets fist that guy!
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>6045678
KURRRRSSHHHHHHH
(FINAL FANTASY TRANSITION BATTLE SCREEN)
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>6045678
>trying to interrupt an protagonist battle
yeah, i'm sure that'll turn out right...totally wont backfire and let the barbarian get a sneak move on ezekiel...
>>
>>6045680
I like your style!
>>
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>>6045682
While you're mulling over that particular course of action over. The Double Wizard is conjuring up a massive rainstorm, that'd at least put out the fires.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>6045692
I push my fingers in my eyes.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>6045692
Good idea, Fist! Get people out of rubble since you are da stronkest, meanwhile I'll set that assholes ass on fire
>>
>>6045692
Yes, make it even more dramatic. Black rain from the ashes. Maximum dramatic. Fistfighting in a black rain surrounded by ruins.
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>6045692
>>6045696
Dis
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>6045698
I forgot to roll.
>>
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>>6045700
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>6045704
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>6045704
The fuck is that?
>>
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>>6045706
The fuck is what? Clearly you're seeing things, Firemane. I blame the heavy rain. It's messing with your vision
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>6045716
I saw a weird ball thing, nevermind, go and get people out of rubble, I'll help the Boy
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

This>>6045719
>>6045716
>>
>>6045716
Drink
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>6045723
>>6045716
Drink
>>
>>6045716
Allright let's hope boy and hope the rain only debuffs enemies
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>6045716
Oh shit, Ezekiel is not doing good.
>>
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>>6045720
WILL EZEKIEL TRIUMPH? OR AT LEAST CUSHION HIS CURBSTOMP? CAN FIREMANE HELP EZEKIEL IN TIME? WILL THE SURVIVING TOWNSPEOPLE BE SAVED? ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE WILL BE ANSWERED.....in like 20 hours. I uh, gotta sleep now. See ya

updates n shit be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>6045740
Thanks for running.
>>
>>6045740
I missed this session but I would like to state that I also find the fist of god guy unbelievably obnoxious. "Complaining about somebody being obnoxious" is not remotely on par with being obnoxious in the first place and generally I hope GMJvqVr5 dies in a tragic protagonist-motivating village fire. Thank you.
>>
>>6045837
Yeah you ain't fooling anybody. Whiney boy.
>>
>>6045839
I literally have multiple posts on this IP.
>>
>>6045837
You fucking joking right? Do you think that the constant whining after put fist of God in the party in the back was grossly obtuse compared to "waaah it's annoying"
When even got the group their wagon in an easy win and have a counter on the undead. Frankly what's more irrational was the "it's annoying" and keep complaining the entire thread. It was hey this guy is in the back, back to the main story, but o he had to autistically focus on it so hard because he is upset he isnt always in control. It's not his adventure not mine not one person's. So go fuck yourself.>>6045843
So do i, changing your IP isn hard.
>>
>>6045845
Of course you think the complaining is annoying, because we're complaining about you. You HAD to shoehorn your donut steel OC into the story, and you couldn't accept the slightest possibility of this not happening. You are a tool with zero social awareness, which was obvious from the shoehorning and is even more obvious from your ""arguing.""

>It's not his adventure not mine not one person's.
But it is your adventure, because you got to put your guy in it! After like a dozen tries! Do you see anybody else doing this, anon? Literally anybody else?

>So do i, changing your IP isn hard.
Alternately, you're such a retard you have multiple people who don't like you. I'm sure that when KURYr96E comes back he can backlink to all of his previous posts. I have nothing to backlink to, because this is my normal IP and OP keeps running at work or at stupid European times I'm asleep for. No offense OP.
>>
>>6045847
I'm still around. If my IP hasn't changed.
>>
>>6045847
>we're complaining about you. You HAD to shoehorn your donut steel OC into the story, and you couldn't accept the slightest possibility of this not happening. You are a tool with zero social awareness, which was obvious from the shoehorning and is even more obvious from your ""arguing
I never made the fucker you dip shit! It was a choice in the game just like double wizard.

No it's not my adventure because a guy is in the back go yay go hero.
That's not my adventure. He's a party member nothing more. Even after he was in I focused on the main story and you bitched like a cunt till no tomorrow. Fist of God was an already premade character and you gagged over it because you don't like it.
Faggot welcome to 4chan especially for some one who can feign ignorance this entire time and think wow someone doesn't hate me for disagreeing on the fucking Internet. Welcome to 4chan dipshit. Welcome to the land where you tell people to kill themselves because you find them annoying. I don't have to prove any thing to you nor am I going to. Your opinion of me is as worthless as your lack of knowledge of what's in this game. You don't like the rolls fine, but guess what fag butt, people have done a lot worse than what you call the worst for this adventure especially when we got progress moving forward because of it.
So tell me again why your opinion of me even fucking matters when the only thing I did was move the story along. I wasn't here for the full boxing match, I gave every one the reigns and went back to work, I wasn't even here when they got the wagon back. I wasn't forcing jack shit for a long time and you my autistic little asshole bitch about being annoying when the entire time that little faggot wouldn't support anyone else's ideas either. It's plain to see that the narrative you spin is one that misses the point of how that guy wouldn't even support other ideas where I was. I was linking other ideas, I was saying yes and.
>>
>>6045854
1. not reading all that
2. that guy is not me
3. you're still annoying
>>
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>>6045854
>I never made the fucker you dip shit!
Yeah, then you (and you alone) latched on and obsessed about him.

The rest of this is not making you look as cool as you think it is. Navy SEAL-tier.
>>
>>6045855
>>6045856
>We posted within 10 seconds of each other
This is the most epic samefaggotry known to mankind. Truly we are genius hackers. Or something.
>>
>>6045856
>>6045855
Here is the tldr
You bitched more than you actually contributed the entire time.

>>6045856
He kept coming back after I said let it go and move on. Try harder faggot.
>>
>>6045857
Uses phone posting, not too hard
>>
you fags don't deserve OP
>>
>>6046030
I can at least agree to that.
>>
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Fellas. It's just a play-by-post game on a MOngolian Basket Weaving Forum. Why you heff to be madge
>>
>>6046071
I know right
all that energy and in Shin Super Robot Pilot production, man, IMAGINE
>>
>>6046072
Sadly SSRP is banished into development hell
>>
>>6046073
aw fuck
I bet it'll get stuck at 65% or something
>>
>>6046074
Tragic
>>
>>6046071
I just wanna move on. We can move on. I wanna shove my shining Fingah in to a booty hole so tight it becomes the diamond Fingah!
>>
>>6046075
Honestly tho I don't have much time and energy nowadays to participate much anyway.
Let it be shelved until my retirement age.
Anyway you how do you do, OP?
>>
>>6046077
breddy gud, ate a sandwich
>>
>>6046080
What kind?
>>
>>6046082
Egg
>>
>>6046088
I'm not a doctorrr op but that might be one of the issues with the arm pain.
>>
>>6046089
Nuh uh
>>
>>6046080
are poakbuns no longer in favor?
but yea. sandwiches are nice. I recently got hooked on storebrought
>>
>>6046092
Yeah but I gotta support muh banh mi
>>
The autism prevailed. It's over
>>
>>6046090
Ok, could it be your chronic masturbation?
>>
>>6046094
Don;t worry. To quell the [discourse]. Fist of God will be erased from all timelines.

For the greater good.
>>
>>6046093
okay later part is too hard for me
>>
>>6046098
But who will fist in the name of God?
>>
>>6046100
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GFmgBwNTzg
>>
>>6046106
You sure you want that? Mom's got big hands.
>>
>>6046080
Is this OP's Blog Quest now?
>>
>>6046118
It would be a funner game if it were.
>>
>>6046118
Woah, spoilers
>>
>>6046154
Next quest needs to be Op's quest for health
>>
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>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>6046164
Alarm!
>>
>>6046164
Sus
>>
>>6046164
press button
>>
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>>6046166
RIP
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>6046170
does fire works in space?
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>6046171
>>6046170
In space everyone hears you REEEEEEEEE
>>
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>>6046172
It's fine it's magic fire or some shit
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>6046173
back to our dramatic saving of villagers while riding your sick ride
All villagers will mistake you for rider of apocalypse and will try to run away tho
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>6046173
The party is saving the towns people and our character the fire knight, jumps into save hero-kun.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>6046173
First of God shows up and saves everyone and everyone thanks him for being the best
>>
>>6046177
Haha I love this thanks anon.
>>
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>>6046177
Yeah! Fist of God shows up and save everyo--
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>6046179
Oh no! My guy!
Welp if op says he can't play anymore then he can't play anymore
>>
>>6046179
Had a feeling you'd go this route op, regardless who posted it.
>>
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>>6046180
Anyway. That was a weird look into an alternate timeline. Time to cut back to what is happening in ours.
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>6046188
I would say fire knight needs to help hero-kun and the party work on saving the villagers
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>6046188
UUUOOOOOOHHHH
>>
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>>6046190
Calm down anon it's just rain
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>6046191
Ezekiel's probably not doing good. Probably losing, in fact. He's probably getting some speech about how he's weak from his brother. The edgy kind.

It's probably time for us to save him.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>6046191
Color
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>6046191
But it's black rain op. Not chocolate rain, not purple rain, not even man rain.
The worse of the rain.

Going back to saving people and fire knight still contemplating if she should intervene or not.
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>6046191
Chocolate rain
>>
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>>6046192
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>6046199
Let him go, apprentice-in-law!
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>6046199
Chop off his fuckin' arm so he can get a badass demon arm later
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>6046199
The edge stops here! Now it's time for bullshit! Fire knight use flame thrower sword!
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>6046199
Slap the demon out of the man and trap said demon in a jar.
>>
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Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>6046201
FLAMING FLAMBERG !

roll 2d100. First roll is for picking. Second roll is to contend against mine to chop off Ezekiel's brother's arm
>>
Rolled 52, 92 = 144 (2d100)

>>6046208
Poke
>>
Rolled 32, 14 = 46 (2d100)

>>6046208
I'm sure villagers will be fine
>>
>>6046208
Acht nein
>>6046209
Whew almsot rolled
>>
Rolled 36, 93 = 129 (2d100)

>>6046208
Calling it
>100, 1
>>
>>6046209
hell yeh
>>
>>6046211
I got dis. FoG maybe my boy but I still make the story happen kyaaaaaayaaaaaww
>>
Rolled 34, 23 = 57 (2d100)

>>6046208
Smile :)
>>
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>>6046209
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>6046221
Oh no! Boy's in trouble now! He's being set up to take a Kinniku Buster!
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>6046221
I'm sorry Ezekiel's brother, but we can't be friends
>>
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>>6046223
HOw he gon do that with only 1 arm
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>6046227
You just made it unstable! And now it sets off an explosions
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>6046227
with his dong
>>
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>>6046229
Oh right. He's also a lich so he has access to wackass dark magics.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>6046237
I got magic of my own, FIREBALL
BOY, DO YOUR OWN
DOUBLE WIZARD, DOUBLE FIREBALL
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>6046237
Party might need to step in to help?
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>6046237
This seems like the perfect time for a cutscene with some exposition which ends with the bad guy withdrawing because we're not even 10% of the way through the game yet so we can't kill him now.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>6046237
that's cheating
challenge him to a race!
>>
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>>6046239
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>6046247
Double wizard cast double buffs
>>
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>>6046249
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>6046257
Hey! You can't do that! Can he do that?! How he do that!? Um I dunno grab the others and run do it double wizard make double mist to hide in?
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>6046257
Well, shit. Guess we're all outta luck. Is he gonna make some evil speech or something now?
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>6046257
Just ram him with a wagon
>>
>>6046263
I feel dumb for not even considering that.
>>
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Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>6046263
Oh yeah. While the rest of the party distracts him. You can just ram him with your wagon.

roll 2d100. First roll is for picking. Second roll is to contend against mine
>>
Rolled 1, 46 = 47 (2d100)

>>6046272
Bet Night Knight couldn't do something this cool
>>
Rolled 75, 96 = 171 (2d100)

>>6046272
Vrrroooom
>>
Rolled 29, 76 = 105 (2d100)

>>6046272
We're about to lose another wagon. I have a sixth sense when it comes to repeating patterns like this.
>>
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>>6046274
YOU SLAM INTO EZEKIEL'S BROTHER WITH YOUR WAGON! WOULD THAT BE ENOUGH TO TRANSITION THIS INTO A CUTSCENE?

WHO KNOWS. FIND OUT WHEN WE CONTINUE BREAD NEXT TIME. I GOTTA WAKE UP EARLY TOMORROW SO I HAFTA SUSPEND THINGS HERE SEE YA

UPDATES N SHIT: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>6046280
thanks for the bread op
enjoy your sandwiches
>>
>>6046280
Thanks op see ya later
>>
Where the fuck is Opee
>>
>>6047041
Dead.
>>
>>6047045
Sad!
>>
F
>>
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>>
Does firemane have exposed legs? Or is it all armour? Asking the hard hitting questions here
>>
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>>6048804
Armor
>>
Basterd
>>
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>>6048810
It's been like that since the start, c;mon now anon
>>
>>6048814
I have never seen this image in my life you must have just made it up.
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>6048814
Wait, Firemane has a twin???
>>
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>>6048820
No Anon, that was merely the representation for character creation. Firemane definitely doesn't have a twin.

...OR DOES SHE?
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>6048821
Of course, but we don't talk about her. Ever.
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>6048821
TWO FIREMANES???? Double wizard neurons are activated
>>
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>>6048825
There's no Firemane twin. shush
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>6048831
Well uh, then who's that hiding in a bush secretly buffing Ezekiel's brother with distinctively non-firey magic?
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>6048831
Dice off with not giving insurance info
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>6048831
Focus on the task at hand!
>>
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>>6048835
who in the what now
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>6048844
Ram him again!
>>
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Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>6048853
"THAT WON'T WORK A SECOND TIME!"

Roll 1d100 to see if it works a second time
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>6048835
>>6048855
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>6048855
You know, maybe we should've not used our new shiny vagon to ram the final boss
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>6048855
>>
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>>6048860
As your shiny new wagon collide with his dark magic clad fist. A massive explosion happens and you are engulfed in its bright flash.

This is about the second time this has happened to you and the last time it ended with you in a coma, having lost all your fortune.

Let's hope it's not the same this time
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>6048871
We can't afford the budget for a dream, sorry.

Cut to Ezekiel holding the now unconscious firemane while his brother gives off his evil speech. Also the world suddenly has the cinematic border cut for some reason.
>>
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>>6048884
"I must admit, nobody tried to ram me with a wagon before. Much less attempt it twice. That actually hurt. You found yourself an interesting companion, little brother"
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>6048891
I'm guessing this is the part where he says Ezekiel is too weak to ever hope to stop him from doing whatever he wants to do for whatever reason he wants to do it.
>>
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>>6048893
"...You're too weak to ever hope to stop me from doing whatever I want to do for whatever reason I want to do it. So I'll let you play being hero for a while longer. See you around, little brother"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>6048891
Nah, this is where he actually offers Ezekiel to join him. In a non-asshole way.
>>
>>6048898
shit
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>6048898
Time for Ezekiel to almost breakdown after the fires start to die down and he can see that his whole village has been turned into a crisp and all the people he knew are dead.

you are my special
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>6048898
I hope he doesn't send progressively stronger foes at us over time
>>
>>6048898
Jump cut to Double Mage looting the arcane shop
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>6048898
>>6048909
>>
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>>6048904
"s-should we go help them?"

"Yes...But let him wail for a bit more"

"....Why?"

"It builds character"
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>6048914
You think this is a good time for one of those timeskips that heroes have when shit hits the fan and they lose really hard? Like, maybe Firemane in a coma or something and she only wakes up like 3 years later?

What do you think, OP?
>>
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>>6048915
Don't be silly anon, we already have a coma into timeskip section in the prologue. Firemane gon be out in a couple a' days at most
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>6048920
Okay then, well, guess it's time for a training arc.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>6048920
I don't suppose there something left of the wagon, is there?
>>
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>>6048923
When Firemane wakes up, she's gonna have some catching up to do. The party will need to train. There's evil to vanquish, money to gain and races to win! Plus she'll find out if her shiny new wagon survived or not.

And it's also 3 AM so I gotta sleep. Next bread soon™

Updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>6048927
That was quick but at least we are all alive. Everyone cept op
>>
>>6048927
wagon gone bro, time for more questing
>>
I keep reading Firemane as Filename
>>
>>6047041
The release for the game I'm code monkeying for is getting closer (it's a poopy mobile game don't try to even guess) and I'm passing the japanese language test this weekend so at best I get back on it next week but I can't really think about cultural civ quest right now

in the mean time idk make civ memes I suppose. would be funny. Sorry about the weight.
>>
>>6051163
I'll draw some waifus when I have time.
>>
>>6051163
>I'm passing the japanese language test this weekend
Soon Opee will evolve from a weeb to a fullscale Otaku



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