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The three aliens races, now making up the Hegemony proper, have decided to join together. You've spent the last several years atoning for your race's actions in the past, and are creating a stronger, more vibrant society together.

The Swall and Vetuck, both victims of your previous actions, are both forgiving and gregarious. Such noble minorities. Of even greater interest is the exact method of which they were saved.

The Bio-Pods, seemingly developed by ancient aliens, were able to revive the dead, picking from the original inhabitants of their planets. But how did they get there?

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It seems the material and design of the pods are most closely related to the ancient ruins and designs of the Andoen aliens, an abandoned planet with ancient ruins. These aliens were much more advanced then you thought it seemed- able to travel FTL. Their investigations in Starsight seemed to be more then just charting the cosmos, but exploring it and even settling on separate worlds too. But why would they build special pods and bury them so deeply? Your scientists seem to believe that the pods were built on the surface and buried by millions of years of tectonic shifts.

Even more strangely, the Andoen aliens did not seem advanced enough to build these pods. Instead, given their closeness in function to the mythical Life Machine, it may be that these ancient aliens actually stole the designs from the Hazaar, not having the deep culture and intelligence required to create such marvels.

With rescue pods being found under Swallia and the Vetucker's planet (which will be restored to its original name- THEIR name for it), that can lead to one logical conclusion. Their must be another secret vault of pods underneath the Andoen's homeworld, right?

How should you welcome these ancient and venerable aliens to the Hegemony's circle?
>Personally see to their return
>Carefully

>>5967468
>Carefully
It's one thing to rescue the good-natured Vetuckers and woefully underdeveloped Swalli. It's a totally other thing to bring random new guys in that we know next to nothing about. We do not need Hazaar 2.0.

>>5967468
>Carefully

>>5967468
>KILL THEM

>>5967468
>Personally see to their return

>>5967468
>Carefully
I really, really reeeeeeeeally hope this isn't an April fool. I like the Vetuckers and Swalli.

>>5967468
>>Carefully

>>5967468
>Personally see to their return

>>5967468
>Carefully
Also wouldn't give the planets back their original name. Bringing them back is fine, but they must be integrated into Hegemonic culture and the primacy of the Jaxtian race reinforced, even if it has an aspect of noblesse oblige. Anything less risks a repeat of the Hazaar as that other anon said.

Besides, it would be a bit weird to be THAT accommodating after we just put on the mask and genocided the fuck out of the HVS.

>>5967468
>Personally see to their return

>>5967468
>Carefully
We really need to make sure we monitor these fellas close regardless of if theyre fresh wet babies, find use for them and we will hold them high up, Hazaar unfortunately didnt do anything worthwhile they just provided resources and ideas through the copying of others, Vetuckers are strong and hardworking humble and courteous, ideal citizens, the Swalli are geniuses and hold similar values in regards to the scientific method, alas taken from us too early for any true use, going back to our first and earliest full citizens outside of the Jaxtian the adorable and placid Migrator, agruably useless in the more modern age as starsight training has been more honed but long they were the bread and butter of navigation amongst the cosmos and they were loved by basically everyone in the hegemony as they were the subject of numerous passion project science documentaries by one of the OG genius supremes, I have a lot of hope for the Andoens but we must not expect them to just come out with a complete understanding of their own ancient tech, we should focus initially on how they take in and interact with our world in a controlled environment and show them around see what they excel at, make some private communities at first and build public interest, stress these are not foreign xenos but infact a new beginning free from the mistakes of the past for us and the Andoens, we need to handle this right and gauge who were dealing with before we start integrating these dudes

>creating a stronger, more vibrant society together.
Hmm, I see.

In that case:

>Personally see to their return.
Celebrate the resurrection of these wonderful beings in person.

Also, probably enough time has passed that the Life Machine can be used again.
Chug as many Jaxtians as you can in it to turn them into Hazaar, and then splice their genes into the other species' genome, so you can ALL reproduce like Hazaar and be a huge big happy family!

>>5967468
>Personally see to their return.

>>5967468
>Carefully

>>5967463
>atoning for your race's actions
>which will be restored to its original name- THEIR name for it
This is a gag, right?

>>5968027
Well, the part about finding Vetuckers and Swalli wasn't during April's fools. I hope.

>>5967468
>Put on the Mask
>Kill them all
Can't have racism if there are no races left.

>>5967463
>You've spent the last several years atoning for your race's actions in the past, and are creating a stronger, more vibrant society together.

This has to be an April Fools joke

We never voted on actually integrating these minorities - we only just found the Pods at the end of the last thread.

Plus, we just finished genociding the HVS…but now we’re embracing alien minorities? I dont believe it

>>5968194
shut the hell up you fucking tard, no one voted to genocide the cows and fish just the fucking bugs and even then we got jipped, just let us have the only fucking good xenos that could process hegemony propaganda without trying to jew it up

>>5968271
I mean I agree that the cow and fish cide was bad and all, but this is obviously a joke update anon. Didn't the part about a 'vibrant society' clue you in?

>>5968271
>Jew It Up
Rocking name for a Bar Mitzvah desu.

>>5967468
>Carefully

We don't really know anything about them, pressing ahead full speed is just reckless.

>>5968275
This better lead to an actual Space Monke thread.

>>5968322
Or what?

>Take your big fat alien cock and try to show it to them in order to mate like a degenerate fuck of a ruler that you are

>>5968335
What, you didn't like Eoba II?

>>5968330
Or I'll be disappointed and mildly annoyed?

>>5968336
He continues to be unsurpassed. I don't think there will ever be someone as based as him. Though given the line of supremes we got after him, that's not exactly a surprise.

Hey, why is it that whanever any empire gets an absolute fucking gigachad of a leader, it always ends the same fucking way: a mediocre successor, and then an downright fucking horrible dogshit ruler after that.

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You decide to carefully greet the newcomer aliens in the deep ruins of Andoen- careful not to to offend anybody. So you and your new heads of state- the Swall and Vetucker Overseers- all come without any weapons or guards at all to see the ancient aliens being unearthed.

"Oh look! The capsule is opening!" The Swall leader points out, very wisely. You take his expert analysis into account, watching as a strange white creature emerges from the slime and goop of the canister. Strangely, it seems the other canisters are dark or offline. Could this strange beast be one of a kind? Or is it the leader- the first one to come out and see who has finally awoken them from their slumber?

"Greetings! Welcome to the Hegemony, noble alien." You begin to say, before the creature turns its head, giving you an icy glare.

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"These inferior beings... All of you, you are our seeded life. The ones we created to show our supremacy over all of space."
"But hold on- I am the Supreme Ruler! And you didn't invent this technology- the Hazaar did and you took it!?"
"No! It is I who am the most Supreme of All! Every invention ever made is ours! Give me your medallion!"

You hold it out.

"But I can't do that! This amulet represents many diverse peoples coming together-"

"Then I will destroy you! I must be the most Supreme over all!"

This strange being, this White Supreme, wants to be an even greater then the Supreme Ruler of the Hegemony. While you do think your society needs to be restructured and generational trauma restored, thru reparations and social justice, this is still too much.

"Oh no! It's attacking us with the powers of Starsight! We are sure to win, for our teamwork is superior!"

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You have Encountered the GIGA WHITE SUPREME OMEGA

The only way to defeat him is to reduce his WHITE POWER points to zero!

With the powers of Starsight, Hass Takar, the Vetucker leader, and that other alien guy join forces to defeat him!

Rules
Roll 2d6 to deal damage to the alien. You only deal damage when you get a pair, equal to the total of both dice added together (ie; pair of 1 and 1 = 2 damage)
Whenever someone rolls a 7, the evil alien regains 7 hit points
Remember, you can roll by typing "dice+2d6" in the options field!

WHITE SUPREME POWER
health= 69
>ROLL

Rolled 2, 4 = 6 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 6, 5 = 11 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 3, 4 = 7 (2d6)

>>5968556
Lmao
Happy April fools bananas

Rolled 1, 6 = 7 (2d6)

>>5968556
Hass is having a really terrible nightmare, huh?

Rolled 6, 2 = 8 (2d6)

>>5968556
fucken kek

Rolled 1, 6 = 7 (2d6)

>>5968556
happy april fools, OP

>>5968556
He sort of looks like the worms

>>5968556
This game is rigged. The expected value of net damage from any roll is exactly 0
The only way we can win is by deleting any post where we roll a 7

Rolled 1, 1 = 2 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 5, 6 = 11 (2d6)

>>5968556
Well, he never said anything about only one roll per id, so we can just spam rolls.

Rolled 5, 5 = 10 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 2, 4 = 6 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 1, 4 = 5 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 1, 2 = 3 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 5, 4 = 9 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 4, 5 = 9 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 6, 1 = 7 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 2, 5 = 7 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 1, 1 = 2 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 3, 3 = 6 (2d6)

>>5968556

>>5968728
yeah but like, the point is teamwork

Rolled 1, 2 = 3 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 2, 4 = 6 (2d6)

>>5968745
ok, well you can roll too

>>5968556

Rolled 5, 4 = 9 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 5, 3 = 8 (2d6)

>>5968556

Oh yeah, I'm TOTALLY keeping track of the totals right now guys. You got him on the ropes.

Rolled 1, 5 = 6 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 1, 1 = 2 (2d6)

>>5968556

>>5968752
makes it a lot easier when 7's zero it out quick

Rolled 6, 5 = 11 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 1, 1 = 2 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 4, 3 = 7 (2d6)

>>5968748
eh...i got nothin' better to do i guess.

>>5968556

Rolled 4, 5 = 9 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 1, 5 = 6 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 4, 3 = 7 (2d6)

>>5968556

>>5968760
wait no i realized that if i spam the rolls, then the thread will archive quicker when it gets to an actual normal non-meme update.

Rolled 6, 5 = 11 (2d6)

>>5968556

>>5968762
It would take hundreds of rolls to get to that point, and I somewhat doubt this thread is made for many posts by the QM

Rolled 5, 2 = 7 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 3, 4 = 7 (2d6)

>>5968556

>>5968764
>It would take hundreds of rolls to get to that point,
No, but even getting to a 100 means a hundred less posts. That's 1/10th of the thread. Monke threads usually go long.
>and I somewhat doubt this thread is made for many posts by the QM
I mean that's an meme update, but the header and title seems to be real? I just don't think there's much of a point in continuing to spam rolls.

Rolled 6, 4 = 10 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 2, 5 = 7 (2d6)

>>5968556

>>5968767
this is an april fools thread, not an actual monke thread

Rolled 6, 2 = 8 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 5, 3 = 8 (2d6)

>>5968556

>>5968769
>this is an april fools thread, not an actual monke thread
the thread and header is normal, though. the first post is a meme, but the header is normal. i mean, are you seriously just gonna stay here and keep posting like 300 times?

Rolled 6, 5 = 11 (2d6)

>>5968556

>>5968772
No, but I was going to for a bit

Rolled 1, 3 = 4 (2d6)

>>5968556
so many 6,5 and no 6,6

Rolled 1, 1 = 2 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 1, 3 = 4 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 4, 1 = 5 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 5, 1 = 6 (2d6)

>>5968556
ok this is enough for, the power of teamwork can come through if others want to roll

Rolled 2, 2 = 4 (2d6)

>>5968556
White power rise

Rolled 6 (1d6)

>>5968556
I kneel.

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>5968805
I fucked up...
I'm not worthy of holding the diversity of the new Hegemony...

Rolled 4, 2 = 6 (2d6)

>>5968556

Rolled 6, 3 = 9 (2d6)

>>5968556
I bow

Rolled 6 (1d7)

I too stronk to stay stuck on face. Beware the roving golden mustache.

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"Grrr! Ahhh! He's too powerful! The White Power is so strong!"

Even with all of your psychic warrior sending their energy your way, your group of separate but equal aliens, you can't quite defeat the powerful alien before you. The White Supreme laughs as you feel your energy drained from his pure malice.

Then suddenly, from a nearby pod, comes a new figure. It's another Jaxtian, but this time, a female. It's Kima Dulioan!

"Let me show you BOYS how it's done!"

Wowza! She's even more powerful then all of you put together- Why didn't you let Women be Starseers? They're even better at it then your trained experts! Amazing! Looks like you still have a lot of growing to do as a society!

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Then another figure pops out- a familiar blue alien.

"And I'm Bluey- the trans allegory! Or uhh, something."

PSSSZZZWWAAAPPPP PEW PEW

All of your Starseeing might put together, you finally manage to overcome and defeat the White Supreme.

"Garrh! Oh no! I've been defeated by a quirky, diverse group of people joined together in a common goal! I've been slain by friendship, strong women, and democracy.... Just like... Hitler... in World War 2... guh...-"

The White Supreme dies, overwhelming by the psychic onslaught. You have won! Without the evil White Supreme, your society can begin to heal, with the fading sensation of racism leaving you.

"Hooray!"

Every alien race now being welcomed and cherished by the Hegemony, including the Hazaar and the Space Worms. Yes, they did eat babies, but it was part of their culture and were simply misunderstood...

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"Hooray! With our equal and just society, we no longer have need for a Supreme Ruler to tell us all what to do. We will instead live in our eco-friendly walkable cities as friends and neighbors."

What should Hass Takar do now?
>Open up a gluten free bakery & extend this joke for longer
>Become a therapist to cure their Jaxtians of their mental issues and prevent all character development because we all know they never had those
>Study history like Cijan and rewrite the past so the Prequel thread wasn't quite so bad
>Other (Write ins will be ignored)

>>5969288
>Other
Have a massive planet scale orgy with one another, mating mixed races into existence with the upgraded physic power while transcending gender by having all 3 genitalia (the pewe, the vage and the pege).

Make love not war

>>5969288
>>Other
Revive the White Supreme in a lab under lock and key.

>>5969288
>Become a therapist to cure their Jaxtians of their mental issues and prevent all character development because we all know they never had those

All those threads of therapy posting has finally worked!

>>5969288
>Study history like Cijan and rewrite the past so the Prequel thread wasn't quite so bad
Finally...

>>5969300
+1

>>5969288
>Other (Write ins will be ignored)
>Ignore all write ins. Accept only electronically transmitted communiques.

>>5969288
>Other (Write ins will be ignored)
Discover another race within the stasis pods to integrate into the hegemony: catfolk with 2 arms (and 4 legs) with super strength, super intelligence, super senses and psychic powers. They’re all hermaphrodites btw

>>5969288
>Open up a gluten free bakery & extend this joke for longer

>>5969288
>Study history like Cijan and rewrite the past so the Prequel thread wasn't quite so bad

>>5969288
>Study history like Cijan and rewrite the past so the Prequel thread wasn't quite so bad

>>5969288
Bring back the Hazaar

>>5969288
>>Study history like Cijan and rewrite the past so the Prequel thread wasn't quite so bad

>>5969288
>Make a vow to fully DIE the Hegemony into the progressive utopia Yuan always dreamed of, and revive Yaun and Sunshine ;_;

>Study history like Cijan and rewrite the past so the Prequel thread wasn't quite so bad
>Open up a gluten free bakery & extend this joke for longer

>>5967944
+1

>>5969288
>Become a therapist to cure their Jaxtians of their mental issues and prevent all character development because we all know they never had those
Kek, those posts hit a nerve.

>>5969744
i feel like that's an consequence of having this nation where you're measured your entire life and they supposedly have an super-smart AI weeding out anyone with mental issues, but then they allow for these complete schizos to pass through. That argument only first popped up after Agori turned out to be a bipolar wreck who went on rampages whanever something flipped his berserk trigger.

>>5969747
This right here. Nobody was asking for a perfect Supreme or Hegemony without any interpersonal or psychological issues at all. They were frustrated at piloting Supreme Leaders who actively disobeyed their votes because of extreme neuroses or atavistic hormonal imbalances.

>>5969759
I feel like I would have way less of an issue with that if it wasn't for the fact that we kept being told about how these people were supposedly watched their wholes lives and tested again and again to cut out anyone who had issues, but then they do ridiculously stupid shit you didn't vote for.

If you don't want your characters to be flawless and psychologically stable, don't say the omnipresent AI who watches everyone from before they were even born is scanning out everyone who's got issues.

>>5969761
At a certain point you just have to assume the Jaxtians ate unreliable and extremely-biased judges of their civilization, including what Threemind is actually capable of.

>>5969763
Except we've been shown the Threemind is basically an all-present big brother machine deity who is constantly manipulating jaxtian lives down to the smallest thing because they'll make them act in a way that accomplishes something like 10 years down the line.

>>5969302
Supporting

Welcome to our ‘fall from grace’ arc

We can USE the white supreme against the enemies of democracy…right?

>>5969764
It fucks up all the time, though. Kima killed a Supreme Leader, became a girlboss, and had kids in a decadent capitalist society with a gay bugman instead of marrying Cijan, despite that being her whole purpose, decided two generations before she was ever born. Radjo got steered towards being a volcel Starseer, and while that worked to a point, I doubt Threemind anyicipated him asking (and being granted) the opportunity to careen his consciousness into outer space forever. Several civil wars and insurrections have happened or been VERY narrowly averted on Threemind's watch, usually without Threemind's aid. Jaxtians plainly overestimate their AI.

>>5969769
Except in all those cases, they usually just end up feeling like complete brainfarts that made no sense because of how ridiculously extensive their control was shown. You can't both sat an AI is watching you every second of your life and predicted your personality two decades before you were born, but then went "uhhh oops" and lost it all at the last moment because of something they should have seen coming.

Either the AI is not completely comprehensive and makes mistakes, or they're an all encompassing presence that works on a completely different level and expected everything.

>>5969747
Agori is underrated- he did a lot of good, even under the shadow of Talcent and the Capsule Wars that he was ‘destined’ to finish.

>>5969764
>>5969769
>>5969770

My headcannon is the at Jaxians overrate their scientific achievements, and that AIs are just shit at being creatively intelligent, hence all the problems the AI ignore, and the Jaxian’s ignorance of their AI’s failings.

>>5969773
That statement would only make sense if the entire quest was tolds solely by characters. But we clearly have moments of narration and stuff that shows an objective fact.

I'm not saying you need to have everything go the way we expect it to. I'm saying that if you make something that directly contradicts an earlier fact, people are going to complain about it. If you didn't want people to ask "Why didn't the All-Seeing Overmind notice this blatantly gigantic issue even I could have seen", you shouldn't have made an All-Seeing Overmind that is literally everywhere all the time and sees everything that is going on in the hegemony.

>>5969766
Democracy? Someones been playing too much helldivers, we have never ever been a Democracy lol

>>5969775
No, I agree with you- my headcannon is just copeium in order to facilitate my suspension of disbelief at the internal contradictions I notice. I doubt the Jaxian’s being blinded by the pride of their ‘own’ scientific achievements is intentional, I just have to bridge that gap in internal logic to keep that disbelief suspended is all.

>>5969761
>>5969763
I'll be honest, it seem BQM was turned a bit...bitter over time.
I can see why it happened but as the threads have gone on he's morphed from playful QM, to a bit of a troll, to actively spiteful at times.
Not just with this option but with the whole "Monkequest is a an apolitical game about fascism being good" thing he seems a bit fed up with the whole thing.
Don't get me wrong it makes sense someone would be annoyed with this quest, it's become a but of a in joke as qsts designated /pol/ debate container. (To the point other quests have arguments about "going monke")
But I would probably just wrap things up soon if it's getting this annoying

>>5969818
It gets annoying sometimes

>>5969972
give us hell bananas

>>5969818
>>5969972
Healing is a process- hopefully we’ll all get better from it.

>>5969982
For Super-Jax!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5pTCxSWDXCY

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The celebration and cultural healing begins as the White Supreme lay dead and rotting on the floor- you'll still be edgy but just when it's to bad guys like that.

"Perhaps through the study of history- we can avoid the mistakes of the past. Wow, it's like so deep. Much like our traditional Jaxtian celebration robes."

Bluey looks on for a moment, then bites his lip in a sudden realization.

"Bluey, what's wrong?"
"But if Jaxtians are wearing robes like that, I mean... isn't that kinda... what African people wear in real life?"
"Oh no- don't say it! Bluey stop!"
"...Isn't that kind of implying that black people are monkeys though?"

ABORT SIMULATION
ABORT SIMULATION
ABORT SIMULATION

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"F. S. HAMMER!?!"

You whirl in your seat in your hot office cubicle. Oh no, your boss has come to check on you at the worst time; especially when your simulation started to freeze up!

"...Are you seriously simulating an entire universe instead of doing work? Using our inexplicably-powerful company computers to simulate an entire universe instead of doing spreadsheets?!"
"I uhmm.. Sir I'm... Uhh sorry... I just uhh..."
"How long has this been going on for? How long has this simulation been going on?!"
"...Like two and a half years."
"Oh. You are SO fired."

----

Thanks everybody for playing this April Fools shitpost! If you got a minute, I would kindly ask you to vote for Kima Dulioan in the upcoming Queen of /qst/ Tournament!

>>5966353

It wasn't exactly a "real" thread, but I do hope you liked it regardless. Glad I got some of that shit out of my system.

>>5970199
Man, I thought it was going to go into a real thread. sucks.

well, it was amusing i guess.

>>5970199
I liked it - especially seeing back F S Hammer.

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Archive Link just so I don't lose the art-
https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2024/5967460/

>>5970259
How has seemingly noone figured it out?

>>5970268
Figured out what?

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>>5970284

>>5970198
>"But if Jaxtians are wearing robes like that, I mean... isn't that kinda... what African people wear in real life?"
>"Oh no- don't say it! Bluey stop!"
>"...Isn't that kind of implying that black people are monkeys though?"
He knows to much. Space Wakanda forever...


>>5970199
Have a good one, Bananas.

>>5970404
BananasQM confirmed for African-American.

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Oh while we got this opportunity and for anybody left-

How do you feel about the Monke thread schedule? Last year I took a hiatus (about the whole year) and then started back up again. Being slightly distracted by one-off and side projects, not quite realizing how long they'd take (my current thread, The Inside Place, is gone on WAY longer then I intended) meaning I already feel like I haven't done enough Monke since it's already April. I don't want to rush the threads and burn myself out, but I was kind of thinking that this was going to be the "year of the monke" so to speak.

Do you think-
>Should keep running Monke quest until it's finished?
>Keep the current schedule of one Monke thread to one side project?
>Just take my time with it?

>>5970623
>Should keep running Monke quest until it's finished
But that doesn't mean the whole way. I don't know how many threads we have left...but you don't need to run like, 4 in a row. Do 2, then maybe have a side project or something.

Basically, the best, in my opinion, would be to focus on monke, but not so much that you burn out or the threads feel forced.

>>5970623
>Just take my time with it

>>5970623
>>Just take my time with it?
I love Supreme Space Monke Ruler, but getting burned out is bad for both the QM and the quest.

>>5970623
>Just take my time with it

>>5970623
>Should keep running Monke quest until it's finished?
I don't want you to kill yourself, but I also don't want this quest to slowly wither on the vine like so many others have when QMs get distracted with other stuff. I support >>5970626's suggestion of 2 monke threads for every side project.

>>5970623
>>Should keep running Monke quest until it's finished?

>>5970623
I love Monke Quest
So I'd love it if you
>Should keep running Monke quest until it's finished?
But I need you to not crash down and burn out before the end, so the answer boils down to
>Just take my time with it?

>>5970623

>Just take my time with it?

Take your time, choom.

>>5970626
I'd support this, make Monke the focus but not the 'only' thing, if that makes sense.

In the end, though, you have to do what works for you Bananas.

>>5970623
Do monke quest at whatever timescale you want. I think it's important for Qmers to not feel obligated.

>>5970623
i love this quest but also variety is the spice of life like make it the main thing but do other stuff also for the fun of it

Link to the real Thread #11 for conveniance.
>>5981751