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>>5733791
Get the door–it’s SLICE QUEST! Peruse a few appetizers before we get started:

Archive Link to catch up with the story!
>https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Slice%20Quest

Twitter account for updates!
>https://twitter.com/DemBonez3

A HANDY PASTEBIN for INVENTORY, SKILLS, and MORE:
>https://pastebin.com/RuZL1Xgh

Rolls are handled by a 1d100--I take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS! Certain boosts and maluses will be applied based on the situation and existing skills! Describing your actions, write-ins, FANART and GENERAL CREATIVITY are all APPRECIATED AND REWARDED--we like to keep things LIGHT and CHILL here, so come on in and have some fun! OR ELSE!

DISCLAIMER: ASSUME ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+! EVERYONE GOT HELD BACK, I DUNNO!

SECOND DISCLAIMER: PEOPLE CAN DIE IN THIS SLASHER QUEST… BE CAREFUL WHO YOU NEGLECT AND WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO DO! UNLESS YOU HATE ‘EM!

>CONTD.

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So this is how it ends, you think to yourself as you continue to laugh despite your sore ribs, killed by an Australian wearing the loudest shirt you’ve ever seen at the bottom of an abandoned mine…

You didn’t even get any of those rewards the girls promised you… figures!

As you ponder your bad luck, the tunnel Smythe and his gun-totin’ entourage entered from grows dark from the shadow of something BIG approaching! Holding the SAWN-OFF SHOTGUN close to your aching chest, you feel uncharacteristic optimism growing inside of you as the mysterious object approaches!

“OPEN FIRE!”

Well, there goes that plan. Lighting up the tunnel with a hail of bullets, Smythe’s Security Squad unloads into the shadow’s owner with military precision!

“Tough luck, mate…” Tsks the Security Chief before giving his team a sharp whistle, “But nobody sneaks up on Uncle Reggie!”

Apparently not… but as the gunfire stops and you and your pals unplug your ears, everyone in the room goes quiet when the light finally shines on the aforementioned object!

It appears to be a statue, that much is clear… a statue of a jerk you’re all too familiar with: one with a penchant for wearing a snakeskin jacket and ambushing you when you least expect it!

“What in the hell is that supposed to be?” Mutters Smythe as he and his squad examine the sculpture in closer detail!

Riddled with more holes than Swiss Cheese, the faint layer of white powder drifting through the air and the faint smell of cooked bread tells you all you need to know about who made the affront to nature, and the muffled hissing sound within gives you a pretty good idea of what to do next!

Guys, you hiss under your breath, Get ready to MOVE!

>ROLL ME 1d100+2 (+5 SPEED BONUS, +2 DISTRACTION, -5 CAN’T FOOL SMYTHE) TO BRACE YOURSELF! BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

Rolled 45 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>5733795

Rolled 88 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>5733795
How come Rodney gets to have the explosive fun and not us?

Rolled 72 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>5733795

>>5733797
>>5733815
>>5733819
>HIGHEST ROLL: 90!
Writing!

>>5733815
Uhhhh how do you know Diesel didn't set this all up in advance and went all 'unreliable narrator' on ya, hm?

>>5733795
So Rodney wasn't useless, but he might just kill us all

>>5733831
It's way funnier to imagine that Rodney became competent for a moment, snuck down here after them, stopped by the boom crate and made a booby-trapped effigy to save our asses.

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Your teeth tingle for a split second before the tunnel erupts in a blinding flash that sends you and your pals tumbling deeper into the pump room! Ears ringing and head spinning, you feel a wave of pain wash over your body as pieces of charred dough and chunks of rock fall around the blast’s epicenter!

Damn it, Rodney, you groan, barely hearing yourself over the high-pitched whining in your ears, you crazy bastard…

“Ooouuughh…”

The sudden groan behind you springs you out of your dazed state like a bucket of ice water! Rising to your feet and spinning to face the groaner, you deliver a bone-crushing smack to their face with the butt of your SAWN-OFF SHOTGUN!

Caked in charred, still-hissing pizza dough, your fellow Pizza Delivery Guy and (according to him) Archrival RODNEY is launched backwards by your attack into PEPPER AND RAJ’S wobbling forms! How the hell did HE get here!? What just happened?!

“Oi…” He groans as your two pals prop him up, “Saw… saw those security goons comin’ in… so I followed ‘em down an’ whipped somethin’ up with my EMERGENCY DOUGH...”

“Yea, we saw…” Mutters Pepper as she pushes Rodney away when he starts to lean a little too much against her, “But how’d you end up here?”

“Was… was gonna grab one of their guns… got LAUNCHED..”

“Uhh… dudes?”

Following Raj’s trembling finger, you feel any optimism you’ve gained disappear as you watch a few of Smythe’s Goons get to work untangling themselves from the rubble and dough! Carving through it with their TACTICAL KNIVES, the security officers begin tunneling through the rubble even faster when they realize their guns are still buried!

“C’mon, guys!” Shouts Pepper as she gestures towards the exit at the opposite end of the pump room, “We can get out this way!”

Tremors spread through the walls around you as you move to follow her. Scampering away, you stop dead in your tracks as you hear a now-familiar laugh from beneath the rubble!

“That’s right, cunt… run away… Uncle Reggie’ll find ya…”

Turning to face the voice’s owner, you find the abominable Aussie’s smiling face peeking out at you from the mountain of debris he and his men are trapped in!

… it would be so easy to kill them all right now…

“DIESEL!” Hollers Pepper as she, Raj, and even Rodney wait for you, “Chop, chop!”

What do?
>LEAVE! THIS PLACE IS COMIN’ DOWN!
>KILL SMYTHE! HE AIN’T FOLLOWING YA THIS TIME!
>ADD ANOTHER STICK OF DYNAMITE TO THE MESS!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5733860
>LEAVE! THIS PLACE IS COMIN’ DOWN!

>>5733860
>KILL SMYTHE! HE AIN’T FOLLOWING YA THIS TIME!
It's us or him, man! They ain't dead until you see their corpse! And he's definitely going to follow us home!
Also, you better not destroy all the pumps, I'm not leaving this place until we make it to Level 7.

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>>5733860
>ADD ANOTHER STICK OF DYNAMITE TO THE MESS!
Good luck, mate.

>>5733860
>KILL SMYTHE! HE AIN’T FOLLOWING YA THIS TIME!

>>5733860
>>ADD ANOTHER STICK OF DYNAMITE TO THE MESS!
Fuck That Guy, Plausible deniability too!

>>5733874
>LEAVE WHILE YA STILL CAN!

>>5733880
>>5734008
>KILL SMYTHE WHILE YA STILL CAN!

>>5733908
>>5734094
>CHUCK SOME DYNAMITE AT 'EM WHILE YA STILL CAN!

I think I've found a solution that all parties shall find amenable:

Let's KILL SMYTHE... with DYNAMITE!

Writing! Got plans today so expect sporadic posting!

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A chunk of ceiling dislodges from above and comes crashing down uncomfortably close to you and your pals as the security team continues to break free of their doughy prison! There’s a slim chance of anyone escaping, sure, but that’s a chance you don’t feel like taking!

The hunger from before slowly wells up inside of your chest. They have to die. You have to make sure of it!

You gesture for Pepper to wait a sec as you reach into the pockets of your TRENDY TRACKSUIT and fish out a stick of that DYNAMITE you snagged earlier! Taking out your GOLD LIGHTER with your other hand, you flick it open and light the fuse in one fluid motion!

“You goddamn lunatic…” Mutters the Security Chief as he realizes what you’re planning, “You’ll kill EVERYONE, you big bloody IDIOT!”

Special Delivery, you respond flatly as the security goons nearly finish unearthing their guns from the debris and Smythe squirms as well, careful, it’s HOT!

As you move to sling the dynamite into the fray, The Security Chief’s hand bursts from the pile of rocks and dough and flings a handful of dirt into your face! What a DICK!

>ROLL ME 1d100-3 (+5 COMBAT BONUS, +2 EASY TARGETS,-2 BACKUP SQUAD, -3 POCKET SAND, -5 SMYTHE COMBAT TRAINING) TO DELIVER! BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

Rolled 70 - 3 (1d100 - 3)

>>5734178

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>5734178

Rolled 59 + 3 (1d100 + 3)

>>5734178

Damn. I wanted his hat.

>>5734179
>>5734185
>>5734217
>HIGHEST ROLL: 67!
WRRRRRRrITING!

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With the fresh sting of dirt, flour, and tasty pizza dough still in your eyes, you focus all of your energy into your SHORT-TERM MEMORY! Lobbing the stick of dynamite in the direction you think Smythe and the rest of his boy band are with a hissed ‘sonnovaBITCH…’, your gamble pays off when you hear a group of poor mooks struggling to push rubble out of the way!

“Aw Crikey-”

Rodney’s last stunt’s got nothin’ on yours! Feeling a sensation akin to sticking your face into the pizza oven, you feel your body levitate as a sudden rush of stinging force launches you backwards once again!

Tumbling backwards like an onion that fell off the kitchen counter, you come to a stop moments later on your back with fresh aches all over your body!

Your vision recovers long before your ears do–at this point you’re gonna go deaf before you’re THIRTY! Brushing the debris from your eyes, you find yourself staring upwards at the rapidly-crumbling ceiling… and up Pepper’s skirt, the owner of which is clearly too concerned about you to notice!

“-el! DIESEL!”

So that’s what she’s wearing down there, huh? Maybe throwing that dynamite and causing a deadly cave-in was a good idea-

“DUUUUUUDE!”

Blessed with perfect timing as always, Raj wastes no time in heaving you off the ground and princess-carrying you away from the growing mound of blood-soaked debris where Smythe and his men were a minute ago! H-hey, you stammer as you struggle to break free, I’m FINE, damn it! Leggo!

“Good thinkin’, slick!” Pepper remarks with a relieved smile forming on her face, “But we’re REALLY pushing i-”

Before she can finish, a hunk of ceiling plunges from above and onto one of the nearby tanks, rupturing it completely and sending an orchestra of warning alarms blaring across the mine!

“... well there goes that plan…” Mutters the redhead with annoyance quickly replacing her relieved expression.

Crap, you groan as you manage to break free of Raj’s grip and regain your footing, is there any other way bel-

This time another chunk of rock lands inches away from Rodney’s already-trembling form! Just a little more to the left…

“We’ll figure it out when we’re safe!” Pepper shouts as she makes a break for the only other door in the pump room! Following close behind, you and the rest of the dudes can barely keep your feet on the ground as it rumbles beneath you!

>ROLL 4d100 TO BEAT A HASTY RETREAT! BEST OF 3 ROLLS! BONUSES:
>DIESEL: (+5 SPEED BONUS, -3 SHIT’S COMIN DOWN!)
>PEPPER: (+1 HEAD START! -3 SHIT’S COMIN DOWN!)
>RAJ: (+5 COOL CUSTOMER, -3 SHIT’S COMIN DOWN!)
>RODNEY: (+4 SPEED BONUS, -3 SHIT’S COMIN DOWN!)

Rolled 79, 59, 37, 50 = 225 (4d100)

>>5734268
Time to outrun the boulder

Rolled 59, 82, 64, 13 = 218 (4d100)

>>5734268
I wouldn't mind if Rodney got the guaranteed 1

Rolled 3, 52, 33, 30 = 118 (4d100)

>>5734268

>>5734277
>>5734309
>>5734310
>THE ROLLS:
>DIESEL: 81!
>PEPPER: 80!
>RAJ: 66!
>RODNEY: 51!

Writing! About to leave for some errands so expect a delay...

>>5734309
>Rodney
Don't say that, anon--you guys are gonna need a backup protagonist when Diesel bites the big one!

>>5734314
We'll just play Pepper. We definitely would play her better than she plays herself.

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Tearing out of the room like a dog trying to avoid a bath, you’re too busy weaving between pieces of falling ceiling to check on Raj or Rodney, not that you really care about the latter… Thankfully Pepper’s just ahead of you, so you don’t have to worry about her running off again…

You think.

Emerging into an unfamiliar mine tunnel, the lamps hanging on the wall are already shaking when you enter, and though the footing is still somewhat stable when you arrive, running across it feels about as reassuring as jogging across a bridge made of popsicle sticks!

“This way!”

Following the redhead’s voice, you and the dudes hop over a growing fissure in your path and join Pepper around the corner! Nearly tripping over one of her NOTBUG kills, you feel a shiver run down your spine–if you run into any more of those damn things…

“WOAH!”

Rodney’s sudden yelp yanks you out of your thoughts. Whipping around to check on your supposed ‘Rival’, you feel a mixture of relief and dismay when a massive stalactite just barely misses skewering his dumb hair!

“Don’t worry, Pep–I’m A-OK!”

Thankfully she doesn’t notice his thumbs up. Following the girl down the tunnel, the mine opens up around you leading into a system of catwalks barely holding together through the chain reaction you started! Before you can ask where you’re headed, however, your answer presents itself sitting on a pair of rusty rails that lead deeper into the mine…

Oh hell no…

“Oh hell YES!” Counters Pepper as she jabs a finger into your chest! “Would you prefer digging our way out?”

No, you groan, but there was a MAINTENANCE STAIRWELL-

Before you can finish, another stalactite the size of a minivan smashes through a chunk of catwalk, taking the metal with it in an ear-splitting metallic shriek! Watching it tumble into the abyss, you punctuate your argument with a curt nod.

Okay, you huff, where to?

“No clue, chief,” She replies as she gestures to the three TRACKS with carts, “but anywhere’s better than HERE!”

Which one do you ride?
>THE TRACK LABELED ‘SAND’!
>THE TRACK LABELED ‘OVERFLOW’!
>THE TRACK LABELED ‘LOWER’!
>NAH, THIS IS DUMB! LET’S GO BACK!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5734329
Ok. No idea where SAND goes, OVERFLOW probably takes you to a drain adit and the outside and LOWER probably takes you down some levels.
>THE TRACK LABELED ‘LOWER’!
Therefore, this might be our last chance to get downstairs! I won't give up on solving the Mystery of the Mine!
Hopefully the other levels are not falling down and we can come up the stairs later.

Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>5734329
Sand = 1
Overflow = 2
Lower = 3

>>5734329
>>THE TRACK LABELED ‘LOWER’!

>>5734329
>THE TRACK LABELED ‘SAND’!

>>5734329
>THE TRACK LABELED ‘LOWER’!
Fuck it.

I did some research and rereading between the threads. There was exactly one instance where the Hunger didn’t come out during us fighting a monster, and it was at the Kitchen where we saved Vivian and Rodney. The correlation between it was I believe us not directly engaging the notwolf. We used a pan to block its attack so that it concussed itself. It was also the only instance where we engaged it purely to put it down while it was incapable of retaliating. It seems, and I could well be wrong, that the Hunger triggers when we attempt to actively engage other things in combat or violence. Passive actions, such as blocking, running, or indirectly attacking through traps or other means probably don’t trigger it.

Whatever the case, that’s what I think we should operate off of. We should try and avoid directly fighting things if we can help it, I think.

>>5734329
>THE TRACK LABELED ‘OVERFLOW’!
Hopefully it will taie us OUT of here. Going deeper in will get us buried alive.

>>5734340
>>5734343
>>5734365
>LOWERRRRR

>>5734341
>>5734462
>OVERFLOW!

>>5734347
>SAND!

No one wants to go to the SECRET SAND LEVEL, I guess... : c Anywho I'm back from errands! Writing!

>>5734377
Regarding this theory: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- : ^) ------------------------------------------------------ Hope that wasn't too meta...

>>5734462
>Going deeper will get us buried alive
Or worse... buried DEAD!

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>>5734635
It doesn’t take a mine reader to notice things aren’t looking good inside the HAUSER MINE–its infrastructure was, even to your untrained eyes, not up to standards when you entered, and the addition of a few uncontrolled blasts didn’t help its temperament much!

Feeling another explosion rock the tunnels behind you, you give Pepper a confident nod! Let’s do it!

“Quickly, please! Dis’ whole place is comin’ down!” Whines Rodney as another hunk of ceiling just misses your section of the catwalk! Leading the group over to the track with the word ‘LOWER’ stenciled above the tunnel corkscrewing downwards into the Earth, you motion for everyone to start pushing!

“Uh, dude,” Mutters Raj, apparently completely oblivious to the impending doom around you, “Isn’t down, like, the way opposite of out?”

“Yea, what he said!” Agrees your fellow delivery boy as he places a hand on Pepper’s shoulder! “We found the girl–time ta’ go while we still can!”

“The Girl’ came here to get to the bottom of things!” Counters Pepper as she wriggles free of Rodney’s grasp! “And the fact that Hauser’s men are here just makes me even more curious!” She concludes as she turns to you for aid!

Every drop of survival instinct left in your battered body is telling you to find the closest exit from this deathtrap and LEAVE... but an even tinier drop buried deep within tells you that this might be your best and only chance to see what lies below the mountain… and what you hope is the aforementioned LEVEL 7! That’s why, you conclude, you HAVE to take this chance… and it has to be NOW!

Feeling the catwalk lurch beneath you, Raj and Rodney exchange nods before running to give the minecart a push! Clambering in front, Pepper slaps the side of the vehicle a few times for motivation!

“C’mon, boys! PUSH!”

Yes, MADAME! Christ…

>ROLL 1d100+1 (+3 TEAMWORK! -2 RUSTY!) TO GET THIS THING MOVING! BEST OF 3!

Rolled 50 + 1 (1d100 + 1)

>>5734668
Here’s to hoping the bottom of this mine has more than one way out.

Rolled 17 + 1 (1d100 + 1)

>>5734668
All right, our ride has been slapped. Therefore, it can't fail us now.

Rolled 65 + 1 (1d100 + 1)

>>5734668

>>5734672
>>5734677
>>5734687
>HIGHEST ROLL: 66!
Writing!

>>5734677
Fuck, forgot to add the 'ride slapped' bonus

>>5734672
I hope so too! Hahahaha!

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Combining your MAN FORCE into one action, you, Raj, and Rodney all push against the back of the cart with a synchronized MANLY GRUNT!

“... you guys know we’re gonna die if you don’t hurry, right?”

“I’M pushin’ as hard as I can!” Whines Rodney as Pepper gives you all a nonplussed glare from her front row seat! “Tell ‘Dainty Diesel’ here ta’ put some backbone into it!”

“Uh…. dudes?”

Is he blind AND stupid!? You’re pressing your whole damn body into this thing, you grunt as you give Rodney’s side a nudge with your elbow!

“Then take a page from us tough guys an’ try harder, yea??”

“Dudes?”

If they were so tough they wouldn’t need you to push!

“Duuuudes-”

“WHAT?!”
WHAT!?

Yelling in perfect unison, both you and Rodney visibly deflate when you follow Raj’s pointed finger to a small, rusty LEVER on the side of the cart.

“This thing isn’t, like, a MANUAL SHIFT or whatever, right?”

Goddamn it… stepping around the skater as he stares blankly at you for an answer he ain’t gonna get, you tug the lever as hard as you can until you hear a metal groan from the wheels below! Brushing the rust and dust off of your hands, you look up to find Pepper staring at you with approval on her grimy face!

“Atta’ boy, sandcrab. That’s why you’re my favorite~”

“Hey, c’moooon!” Groans Rodney as he slides between you like some kind of dumb eel, “I was the one that saved us all back there! What about me, huh, sweetcheeks?”

“Hmm…” Muses Pepper as she mockingly rubs her chin in contemplation, “Good point. Guess you guys are gonna have to keep competing for it.”

You let out a weary sigh. This is dumb...
“HAH! Challenge ACCEPTED!”
Son of a bitch… before you can kick Rodney off the catwalk, the two of you freeze up when you hear the sound of a rifle firing amidst the cacophony of tremors around you!

Darting to the side just in time to dodge a salvo of bullets plinking off of the cart, you and your fellow delivery boy stare wide-eyed at the way you came as a trio of pissed-off HAUSER SECURITY GOONS peer out from around the corner with their dough and dust-caked weapons pointed in your direction!

“Woah… how’d they get here?”

You’ll ask ‘em in HELL, you mutter as you drag Raj with you as you leap headfirst into the cart! Ducking to avoid another helping of lead, you and the others breathe a collective sigh of relief as your ride picks up speed as it heads downhill!

>CONTD.

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>>5734773
“Heh! Good luck followin’ us without wheels, ya damn jabronis!” Croons Rodney as he slumps against the inside of the minecart as if it was an easy chair, “Piece a’ pie, right, guys?”

You answer him with your usual frown. Quit tempting fate, moron.

“Quit bein’ a baby, D!” Counters Rodney as he dodges you attempt to flick his forehead, “We’re on a cart… just gotta sit back an’ enjoy da’ ride!”

“Yea, about that…” Mutters Pepper as she points forward, “Duck!”

“Where?!” Sputters Raj as he scans the side of the tunnel! Pulling him down, you and the rest of your buddies barely limbo below a low-hanging wooden barricade with the words ‘DANGER: CONDEMNED’ hastily stenciled on it!

Sitting back up with a much higher heart rate, your pulse goes even HIGHER when you feel Pepper scoot back and lean against you! Err, Pep, you stammer, white-knuckling the cart as it continues on a downward spiral deeper into the Earth, what’s the occasion?

“Remember that whole water thing I told you about earlier?” She whispers as she looks back at you with growing fear in her eyes!

Yea…

“I just remembered the lower levels are… flooded.”

Ah.

“A-and if there’s w-water down here,” She stammers as the four of you duck under another barricade…

She’s gonna need you to support her, you nod, gotcha!

“NO, sandcrab! I’ll need you to SAVE MY ASS if I FREEZE UP!” Hisses the girl as she elbows your side! “Don’t get distracted!”

Harder than it looks, you mutter as she practically sits in your lap! Damn it…

Biting your lip, you feel a little relief when the cart reaches the bottom of the spiraling track without tipping over! But as the tunnel straightens out again, you feel your anxiety return as you approach a SPLIT IN THE TRACKS!

The track you’re on leads towards a tunnel stenciled with the words ‘WARNING: DEMOLITION IN PROGRESS’! Before you can guess what kind, your answer comes in the form of a rotten crate filled with old sticks of DYNAMITE poking out!

The other track, however, appears to slope downwards with no foreboding warnings or exposed explosives!

The question is, how are you gonna hit that damn TRACK SWITCH?

“I got LOTSA ROCKS in here, D!” Reports Rodney as he picks up a handful of ROCKS from the bottom of the cart! “You wanna show us yer’ pitchin’ skills?!”

Which way do you go!?
>STAY ON COURSE TO THE DEMOLITION AREA!
>CHANGE TO THE DOWNWARD SLOPE!

>>5734776
>CHANGE TO THE DOWNWARD SLOPE!
I’ve had enough of Trinitrotoluene, thanks.

>>5734776
>>CHANGE TO THE DOWNWARD SLOPE!
Any more explosions and the whole cave will come down

>>5734776
>>CHANGE TO THE DOWNWARD SLOPE!

>>5734787
>>5734792
>>5734806
>DOWNWARD SLOPE!
Hey, just like Diesel's evening so far! Anyways, let's see if you can hit that switch, skip!

>ROLL ME 1d100+1(+5 SPEED BONUS, -2 RIDIN' FAST, -2 PEPPER JESUS SCOOT FORWARD YOU IDIOT I'M TRYING TO AIM HERE) TO GO THE WAY YOU WANT! BEST OF 3!

>>5734776
>CHANGE TO THE DOWNWARD SLOPE!
Enough bang for one day

Rolled 65 + 1 (1d100 + 1)

>>5734823
there do be ninjas about

Rolled 59 + 1 (1d100 + 1)

>>5734823

Rolled 63 + 1 (1d100 + 1)

>>5734823
Ricochet it off the switch so that it takes out Rodney’s dumbass sunglasses.

>>5734828
>>5734831
>>5734859
>HIGHEST ROLL: 66!
Writing!

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You’d be delighted to, you chirp as you gently push Pepper’s head out of the way of your shot! Sticking your tongue out in TOTAL CONCENTRATION, you pick up a ROCK from the bottom of the cart and toss it in the air to test the wei-

Whoops, it fell out. Man, you’re going FAST, huh?!

“Try again, slick…” Mutters the redhead, clearly annoyed by your not-so-polite means of getting her out of your way. Taking up a new rock in your hand, you let out a deep breath before chucking the rock at the SWITCH!

Sailing through the darkness with a slight spin to it, the ROCK hits the SWITCH with a resounding ‘CLANG’ before ricocheting back towards the cart! Hit the DEEEECK!

You and Pepper duck in time, but Raj isn’t so luck-wait… nope, he is so lucky! Watching the ROCK spin past him with a goofy smile on his face, his enthusiasm only wanes a bit when the rock smacks straight into Rodney’s nose!

“DAAAAUUGH! MY NOOOSE!” He screams as he clutches the impact point, “Diesel, you RAT! I know ya’ did that on purpose!”

Hahaha, ‘whoops’! Watching the track shift ahead of you, your stomach preemptively braces itself as you realize just how steep the drop is you’re about to head down… seriously, though–did these assholes that built this place stop to think before maAAAAAUUUUUGH!

Clinging to the cart for dear life, you and the rest of your entourage wage war against GRAVITY as you hurtle down a rickety-looking track through complete and utter darkness! It’s hard to tell while you’re screaming your head off, but Raj and Pepper really seem to be enjoying it!

“SOMEBODY GRAB MEEEEE!”

Rodney, on the other hand, doesn’t sound too enthusiastic. While you watch him barely cling to the side of the cart with vague disinterest, your skater buddy is able to pull your ‘Rival’ back into the cart just before the track evens out. Hooray.

Skidding around a corner of track sends sparks into the air–their fleeting light illuminating rough-hewn cavern walls around you covered in more holes than a sponge…

“Y’think these were for DYNAMITE or somethin’?” Guesses Raj as he points his HEADLAMP into the recesses!

Nope, you groan, but you have a feeling you know what made ‘em-

As if on cue, a long, hairy STINGER jabs out from one of the holes at your neck! Though you manage to lean out of the way in time, Raj barely ducks a similar attack from another hole you pass!

“What the HELL is THAT?!” Screams Rodney as he chucks a rock at one of the NOTBUGS in abject panic!

Your MOM, you reply with a smirk! Got’em!

>CONTD.

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>>5734897
“They hate LIGHT!” Pepper shouts as she goes to town with her DIGITAL CAMERA! “Say ‘CHEESE’, creeps!”

“Well why didn’t ya’ say so!?” Sputters your rival as he takes his MINING HELMET off and points its lamp at your attackers! “Cripes, these things gimme the heebie-jeebies!”

Swinging at the bugs as they pop out of their holes with his FIRE AX, Raj nearly takes your head off before remembering how jam-packed you all are!

“They don’t like gettin’ CHOPPED UP either, dudes!”

You’ll keep that in mind, Raj, thanks! Squinting ahead as your team continues to fend off the overgrown cockroaches, you spot the faint glimmer of a light atop another SWITCH ahead… and this choice is EASY!

The track you’re currently on leads into a FLOODED PASSAGE– you’re just lucky Pepper hasn’t noticed it yet! Even if it is just water, that’ll stop your trip really quickly… and then you’ll have to deal with these bugs on their terms!

The other way, however, leads deeper into the mines… and a much drier part of it, from the looks of things! Readying another rock, something whiffs past your ear and takes a chunk of your hair off of your head before you realize what it is! Hissing menacingly above you, a NOTBUG scurries back into its hole once you notice where it is… no doubt to ready another attack against you and your pals!

“Sandcrab,” Shouts Pepper as her camera rapidly flashes, “We close to the end yet!?”

K-kinda?!

>ROLL 4d100 TO KEEP ON ROLLING… AND KEEP THE BUGS AWAY! BEST OF 3! BONUSES:
>DIESEL+2 (+5 SPEED BONUS, -3 BUGS EVERYWHERE)
>PEPPER +2(+5 SNOOPIN BONUS, -3 BUGS EVERYWHERE)
>RAJ +2(+5 COOL CUSTOMER, -3 BUGS EVERYWHERE)
>RODNEY-3 (-3 BUGS EVERYWHERE)

Rolled 43, 93, 66, 23 = 225 (4d100)

>>5734899
This reminds me of that scene from the Peter Jackson King Kong.

>>5734901
Somebody save Rodney’s roll. I know we joke about offing him, but he did come in to the rescue back there.

Rolled 59, 45, 42, 89 = 235 (4d100)

>>5734899
I've had enough of these motherfucking bugs in this motherfucking mine
When we're finished here, I'm going to set off all the dynamite I can possibly find.

>>5734908
I also didn’t realize it, but you saved Diesel, too.

Rolled 60, 94, 14, 61 = 229 (4d100)

>>5734899

>>5734910
Just another day in the world of dice

>>5734901
>>5734908
>>5734934
>ROLLLLLLLLLLS:
>DIESEL: 62!
>PEPPER: 96!
>RAJ: 68!
>RODNEY: 86!
Writing!

>>5734901
>scene from King Kong
Oh hell yes I was worried I was the only one! Those fucking worms, dude! Scary shit!

>>5734904
D'awww you guys LIKE him! You really LIIIIIKE HIM!

>>5734908
Would you say they're.... bugging you?

>>5735135
The dice are fickle mistresses indeed... hope the luck continues!

File: minejump.png (37 KB, 259x194)

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As your trusty metal steed rapidly approaches the switch, the tunnel around you explodes into a hissing, chittering gauntlet of stingers, claws, and hairy bug limbs! Yep, you’re gonna need a shower after all this…

Armed with a ROCK in one hand and your MEAT CLEAVER in the other, you do your best to clear a path for your projectile as the cavern’s residents descend upon you like ants on a dropped ice cream scoop! A flash from Pepper’s camera sends one of your attackers tumbling head-over-many-heels to the ground, and though it scrambles to grab ahold of your ride, the bug proves to be a little too late!

“Catch the next one, freak!” She snickers as she continues her rapid-fire photography sesh! “And I’m keepin’ all of these!”

Meanwhile a pair of NOTBUGS drop onto the cart from above, but a quick flash from Rodney’s HEADLAMP stuns both of them just enough for you and Raj to cut into their legs with your CLEAVER and AX respectively!

Giving each other a thumbs up as your hitchhikers fall, you lock eyes with Rodney for a second… Though you both start off with stern stares, the two of you begrudgingly share a stoic nod as Raj bats another boarder off of your wheels!

Oh right, the SWITCH! With your shot about as clear as it’s ever gonna be, you hurl the ROCK at your target and watch in silent horror as a NOTBUG chooses that exact moment to drop down for a cheap scare!

Glancing off one of the monster’s chitinous armor plates, the rock bounces back towards your cart and just barely whizzes by your head!

‘THUNK!’

“AAAUGH! NOT AGAAIIIN!”

In another admirable display of selfless heroism, Rodney offers his forehead as a springboard for the rock and sends it flying back over to the switch with a dull ‘TONG!’

Despite all the chaos, you can immediately feel Pepper’s body freeze up as she sees where you were almost headed! Breathing a quiet sigh of relief, the girl tenses up again when she sees your next destination!

“Errr, guys!” She stammers as she points a shaking finger ahead, “Might wanna hold onta’ something!”

You feel a pit form in your stomach as you spot what’s spooked her: where there used to be a track over a yawning crevasse in the ground is now just that: a crevasse with a huge gap in the tracks! With no ledges to jump to or switches to hit, all you and the others can do is hold on for dear life as your cart prepares to jump!

“I dunno about you guys,” Begins Raj as you feel Pepper press against you for stability, “But I’M gonna hold onto the CART!”

Not very compelling as far as last words go… before you can chide him, however, you feel the rusty wheels carrying you at breakneck speed leave the tracks!

And just like that, you’re FLYING!

>CONTD.

File: Spoiler Image (228 KB, 625x500)

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Your stomach is halfway up your throat by the time you land on the other side of the gap! Sending a shower of sparks and an ear splitting metal screech into the air, you and the rest of the cart riders breathe a collective sigh of relief when your ride continues unhindered!

Except for Raj, who hoots and cheers like a kid on a roller coaster.

While he’s having a blast, however, Pepper freezes up like an ice sculpture–before you can ask why, your answer comes in the form of the stuff pooled around the tracks! Cascading from countless growing cracks in the ceiling above you comes a deluge of grimy, dirt-filled water… no doubt from the flooded levels above!

“Don’t worry, toots–I ain’t gonna let ya’ drown!” Announces Rodney, prompting Pepper to turn blue! Very reassuring, bonehead!

“I’m just sayin’ I know CPR!” The delivery boy counters as Raj watches the water fall from the ceiling with childlike mirth! He’s gonna NEED CPR if he doesn’t zip it!

If there’s any working drainage systems around you, you don’t see them… and despite your quick pace, the water is getting dangerously high around the rails! If you can just get through this cave without problems-

“Woah…” Remarks your skater buddy as he holds his hand up to examine it, “Check it, dudes!”

Check it you do… before swiftly tackling Raj to the foot of the cart! “What gives, man!?” He sputters as a salvo of BULLETS whizzes over your heads! It was a LASER, you idiot! A LASER SIGHT!

Peeking over the rim of the cart, your suspicion is confirmed: no, not the one about NOTBUGS learning to use automatic weaponry, but the one about a second cart slowly gaining on you from behind!

A cart FULL of FOUR HAUSER SECURITY GOONS! And they’re PISSED!

“How the hell did they get here!?” Sputters Rodney as another helping of bullet is served to the side of your cart! “Did they grab one and put it on OUR track!?

Yea, you shout at your pursuers, your stupid boss got BLOWN UP! GO HOME, IDIOTS!

The operators don’t seem keen on taking your advice. Sending another burst of rifle fire in your direction, the quartet seems dead-set on making sure your ride ends unpleasantly! Weaving through a forest of massive stalagmites like a skier going down a slalom, your heart sinks even LOWER when you spot a pack of antennaed silhouettes following close behind via the cavern ceiling!

“We gotta lose these guys!” Shouts Rodney as he chucks a rock at your pursuers! “Do somethin’, D!”

Oh, NOW he wants you to be the hero, huh?!

How do you lose these jerks!?
INVENTORY PASTEBIN:
https://pastebin.com/RuZL1Xgh
>SHOOT ‘EM! (FLARE GUN (1 SHOT)? FLAMETHROWER? SHOTGUN (2 SHELLS)
>CHUCK SOMETHING AT ‘EM! (ROCK? MOLOTOV? DYNAMITE?)
>TRY TO DERAIL THEIR CART!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5735229
>DROP DYNAMITE IN THE TRACKS BEHIND YOU
Easier than trying to hit their own cart, and the same result!

>>5735229
>>DROP DYNAMITE IN THE TRACKS BEHIND YOU

>>5735236
>DROP DYNAMITE ON THE TRACK
Light, cook, release.
This mine proudly designed by Pankot Engineering Corporation. Don't suppose we've got a sleeper handy in the back of the cart? Makes me really want to watch that film again.
also this is ebic, I would have been very disappointed if we didn't have a minecart shootout if we're going all in on the fun tropes.

>>5735263
Wupps, meant to tag >>5735229

>>5735236
>>5735251
>>5735263
>DROP DYNAMITE!
What's one more uncontrolled detonation in an already-collapsing mine, right? Psychos...

>ROLL ME 1d100+2(+5 SPEED BONUS, -3 SUPPRESSING FIRE) TO LIGHT UP THEIR DAY! BEST OF 3, BABY!

>>5735263
This anon GETS it! Fun DemBones Trivia time: I FUCKING LOVE MINECART ACTION SEQUENCES. LOVE EM. VIDEO GAME? MOVIE? BOOK? DON'T MATTER--LOVE ME SOME MINECARTS!

Gonna do some errands, but will write up your failing roll once I return!

Rolled 51 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>5735272
We will find a way out later

Rolled 91 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>5735272
click clack on the track this cart is unstoppable
I love anything to do with mines and digging. Probably why I do what I do offline but I love me some minecart.

Rolled 2 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>5735272

>>5735304
Jesus fuck.

>>5735277
>>5735280
>>5735304
>HIGHEST ROLL: 93!
No one's winning an Art Berry Award today, it seems... oh well!

>>5735304
So close!

Writing!

File: kaboom.png (106 KB, 550x550)

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You don’t really have the ammo or the training to get into a gunfight with these Rent-A-Cops, but you have something that doesn’t need much aiming! Retrieving one of your two remaining STICKS OF DYNAMITE from your pocket and your GOLD LIGHTER to go with it, you hold off on the fun part as you and the rest of the CART CREW press your collective weight against the side of the cart as two of its wheels lift off the rail on a tight turn!

Landing back on the tracks with a triumphant ‘CLANG’, you see your chance when you come to a straightaway where the tracks are already submerged under a layer of funky water! Still petrified, Pepper barely reacts as you light the fuse and prepare to drop it along the tracks! She’d better hope you don’t have to jump out or something…

Another hail of bullets speeds past your head as your pursuers gain on you, and as you let the dynamite go you watch in horror as one of the security goons puts his (or her, hard to tell) own devious plan into action! Pulling the pin out of some kind of GRENADE, they chuck the explosive ordnance your way just as their comrades realize what you’ve done!

The air around your cart becomes pure BULLET as the security guards try to prematurely detonate your gift, but it’s too late! The final nail in the coffin comes in the form of Raj chucking a rock at the GRENADE and knocking it off course! Holy CRAP, you shout, nice shot!

“Was aimin’ for that bug up there…” Mutters Raj as he points to the ceiling and completely misses what he just accomplished! Before you can correct him, your present for your pursuers EXPLODES and sends their cart flipping into the air!

The mass of NOTBUGS snags one of the guards mid-flight–though they waste no time in defending themself with their TACTICAL KNIFE, it isn’t long before you hear their screams echoing through the caves behind you!

Another security goon makes an abrupt landing against a stalagmite, his body twisted from the impact like a pretzel! You’d probably feel sorry for him if he didn’t try to shoot you earlier! Asshole!

Through some cruel disregard for physics, however, the two remaining security guards and their ride land with a menacing ‘CLANG’ a few feet ahead of you!

“Nice one, D!” Groans Rodney as the two goons engage in some TACTICAL LAUGHTER,, “Now I’m gonna die without gettin’ with any of the girls here an’ it’s ALL YOUR FAULT!”

At least you can take solace in that…

>CONTD.

File: undergroundriver.jpg (105 KB, 930x581)

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>>5735559
As the two Hauser Security Guards prepare to send over a gift basket of delicious GRENADES, Raj pushes past you to point at the track ahead!

“Woah, dude! Look ]OUT!”

Your pursuer-no, pursuees don’t take the bait, but for once the skater’s actually on to something! Drifting out from the shadows carried by the gross water below you comes a positively archaic-

“FRUIIIIIIIIT CAAAAAAAARRT!”

Oh hey, the security guys CAN talk! Crashing into a dilapidated cart made of rotting wood with a dinky sign that has the words ‘Hauser Mine Healthy Choice Snack Bar’ painted on it in fading white letters, the security goons lose hold of their GRENADES thanks to the torrent of rotting fruit that tumbles into their cart!

A few seconds later the whole shebang EXPLODES, sending your opponents, or what’s left of them, hurtling into the water like fish bait! Not to mention clearing the way for you! Score!

Turning to face Rodney, you give him a fresh scowl as he struggles to avoid your gaze! He was saying?

“... Eeeehhhh, I’m callin’ it luck!”

He’s gonna join those pricks if he doesn’t learn some manners… and FAST! Giving Pepper’s head a light poke, you confirm that yep, she’s still freaking out from the water which is still rising, by the way!

Even so, your cart makes its way through what’s starting to look like an underground lake and finally reaches a huge, spiral track delving deeper into a massive pit–its perimeter now transformed into a colossal waterfall!

“How deep do ya think this track goes?” Asks Raj as he peers over the edge into the yawning abyss below you!

You dunno, you frown, but one thing’s for sure: it would suck having to use this rail system to transport ore!

Slowly descending deeper, you make sure to shield Pepper with your body as the water falling from above splashes into the cart! Poor girl’s trembling like a leaf! Wherever you’re going you hope there’s a way out… you’re not exactly keen on swimming back to the surface…

“It’ll work out, man!” Raj counters with his usual chipperness! “Always does!”

You’d do terrible things to be even a fraction as optimistic as he is… finally reaching the bottom of the pit, your mood brightens as you spot a CATWALK up ahead–one that remains standing even with the growing RIVER rushing through the cave below you!

Though the catwalk seems to lead deeper into the mines, the rails appear to head deeper too…

Where to?
>KEEP RIDING!
>GET OFF HERE!

>>5735562
>KEEP RIDING!
Let’s make some more distance between us and the bugs, goons, and collapsing sections of the caverns.

>>5735562
>GET OFF HERE!

>>5735562
>KEEP RIDING!

>>5735562
>KEEP RIDING!
We're on the clock! The longer we take, the more the mine will fill with water. Snap that brake lever off and let her fly! We do have a brake, right?
I award Hauser Goons #032899, #975389, #826269 and #333063 the SLIGHTLY ABOVE AVERAGE HAUSER EMPLOYEE AWARD with a plastic medallion and a $25 bonus for their unwavering dedication to duty.

>>5735569
>>5735605
>>5735647
>KEEP RIDING!

>>5735574
>HOP OFF!
Writing!

>>5735647
They accept the award with TACTICAL HUMBLENESS! Well, their next of kin does, what with them all being deader than doorknobs

File: deeppit.jpg (115 KB, 1024x768)

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“We getting off here, dude?” Asks Raj as he jabs a thumb in the direction of the catwalk! Nah, you reply, this route was marked ‘LOWER’--you’re not getting off until the track ends!

“PuhLEASE…” Scoffs Rodney as you speed past the stop, “You just want more SNUGGLE TIME with red, don’tcha?”

Yep, you groan with a heavy helping of sarcasm in your voice, he got you!

“I uh… I’m not gonna tell ya’ how to live your life, bro…” Raj begins as he places a gentle hand on your shoulder, “but-”

It’s not because of SNUGGLE TIME, okay!? You’d just rather not hop off and wander into a random tunnel when there’s a brand new RIVER forming below you! Do they wanna SWIM back to the surface!?

“... N-no…” Stammers Rodney as he stares down at his thumbs.
“... Uh-uh.” Raj adds in an equally-sheepish tone.

So there, you huff, have a little faith now and then, will ya?

Good, they totally bought it! A faint smirk forms on your face as you give Pepper’s head another reassuring pat–she told you to take care of her in case there was water… and there’s nowhere safer than right in front of you!

There wasn’t a surplus of light in the tunnels before, but as you turn a corner and head deeper into the dark recesses of the Earth, it dawns on you that you can’t really see the tracks anymore… not without Rodney and Raj’s lights, at least! Emerging from a tunnel into a colossal cavern devoid of light, you barely hear the water running as it drops into the black abyss below!

For a time even the tremors seem to grow quieter… all you can hear is the squeak of the rusty wheels below you and the distant sound of Earth rumbling above. If you fell here, well…

That’d be it, huh?

“Whughh…” Groans Pepper as she slowly regains her pep, “Did… where are we?”

Deep, you reply as you gesture to the inky blackness surrounding you like fog, VERY!

“No kidding!” She remarks as she scoots forward a bit to look around, “These rails are in pretty decent condition… wonder where they end?”

“Knowin’ our luck I’m guessin’ some kind of SPIKE PIT!” Groans Rodney from the back of the cart, “With… with mutant SNAKES in it or somethin’!”

A sudden shift in the rocks puts your discussion on hold, and with a deep groan that reverberates across the cavern you and the rest of the passengers freeze up as a whole section of the wall detaches and tumbles into the pit below!

Holy CRAP, you exclaim as you crane your ear in the direction it fell, but don’t hear an impact, where the heck ARE we!?

“Somewhere SECRET, yo!” Announces Raj as he shines his lamp where the rocks used to be! “LOOK!”

>CONTD.

File: pepperexcited.png (120 KB, 574x328)

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>>5735675
A faint squeal emanates from Pepper’s agape mouth as you all turn to see what he’s referring to–hidden beneath the rock sits another wall made up of some kind of metallic alloy–and it definitely looks man-made!

“JACKPOT!” Squeaks the girl as she goes to town with her DIGITAL CAMERA! Errr, Pepper, you mutter as you and Rodney exchange confused glances, just what is this anyways?

“Remember that dirt I was talkin’ about, sandcrab!?” She asks, trembling like a kid on Christmas morning! “THIS is it! HAUSER’S DIRTY LAUNDRY! GOTTA BE!”

“Kinda screwy that they keep it all the way down here…” Mutters Raj as the girl cackles madly between photos, “It’s just gonna get moldy, dudes…”

You’re too speechless to respond. Pepper’s right–this… this is BIG! As your cart continues to descend deeper, you slowly realize that you’re headed right in the mysterious wall’s direction! Could… could this be SITE D?

“Won’t know until we investigate, chum!” Snickers Pepper as she gives your side a playful nudge! “Keep your eyes peeled for a place to get off!”

“Uh… found one?”

Following Raj’s gaze, you light up a bit as you see another catwalk bordering the wall–while you can’t see an entrance from this side, you’re certain that’s gonna be your way in!

“It’d BETTER be…” Whines Rodney. “Becau-wait, AW CRIPES!”

Following his and Raj’s lamps, you quickly find out that you’re out of disembarking options–past the catwalk the rails trail off… into NOTHING!

“Maybe it’s uh… a fast way down?” Shrugs the skater as you immediately pounce on the brake lever! YEA, you snarl, it’ll be fast alright!

>ROLL ME 1d100+2(+5 SPEED ROLL, -3 GOING FAST!) TO PULL THE BRAKES! BEST OF 3!

Rolled 92 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>5735676
Time to play the steel organ

Rolled 1 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>5735676

>>5735691
Give me your coordinates so I can come to your house and strangle you

Rolled 71 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>5735676
I knew this shit would’ve been too easy.

>>5735698
Don't worry, I'll handle it myself. :(

>>5735701
Very thoughtful. You’ve restored your honor.

Bones will be happy. Time to kill Art again.

File: headlines2.png (399 KB, 500x397)

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istg if this invalidates everything that's gone right thus far and gets someone killed, something heavy is going to go sailing out of the window

>>5735681
>>5735691
>>5735700
>THE ROLLS: NAT 1!
A little bummed it didn't happen with the dynamite for the FULL ART EFFECT, but I ain't complaining! Writing, but get ready to ROLL!

>>5735701
>>5735704
Glad to see I don't have to ask anymore! People are finally starting to understand the rules! Wonder what Art's up to these days, anyways?

>>5735709
That depends on you, buster!

File: stop.jpg (54 KB, 1024x682)

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Clenching the lever handle as tightly as you can, you brace your feet against the inside of the cart and prepare to tug!

“You got this, sandcrab?” Asks Pepper as she and your pals prepare to jump!

Yea, you nod, just hang on to something! Pulling back on the lever with a mighty growl, you feel an uncharacteristic strength course through your muscles… TOO much!

The brake lever only lasts for a second or so before snapping off like an exceptionally-dry twig! As the reality of the situation settles in, you slowly turn towards your pals and show them your handiwork as an unintelligible gurgle creeps out from your mouth!

“Woah!” Smiles Raj with a nod of admiration, “You’re pretty strong, Diesel!”

Rodney doesn’t even wait before diving onto the catwalk with a panicked yelp! Seeing the lever still in your hand, you move to disembark along with the rest of your buddies!

>ROLL ME 3d100 TO MAKE IT! BEST OF 3 ROLLS! BONUSES:
>DIESEL: +1 (+5 SPEED BONUS, -4 MISSED YOUR STOP!)
>PEPPER: -2 (+3 SCOOP SIGHTED! -4 MISSED YOUR STOP!)
>RAJ: +1 (+5 COOL CUSTOMER, -4 MISSED YOUR STOP!)

It's getting lateish on my end, so I think it's time to talk SCHEDULING!

I go back to work starting tomorrow, so from now on updates are gonna slow down a bit, unfortunately. FROM NOW ON EXPECT WEEKDAY UPDATES TO HAPPEN AROUND 4-5PM PST UNLESS I SAY OTHERWISE! If you're here from Bones Quest you're probably used to this scheduling already, if not know that I'm no quitter! We're getting through this quest together, damn it!

Thanks as always for your patience in my writing, drawing, and scheduling. You guys make it all worth while!

Rolled 10, 36, 43 = 89 (3d100)

>>5735723
imagine if everyone goes over and the only survivor is Rodney

Rolled 83, 64, 55 = 202 (3d100)

>>5735723

>>5735724
Can't say I followed Bones unfortunately. Does this mean one update a day?

Rolled 87, 5, 14 = 106 (3d100)

>>5735723

>>5735729
>>5735730
>>5735732
>THE ROLLS:
>DIESEL: 88!
>PEPPER: 62!
>RAJ: 56!
Writing what might be the last update of the night!

>>5735731
Sometimes one, sometimes more... definitely less than how frequent they've been this Summer! In the past I pretty much updated at least once every day, though, so we'll see how things go! Rule of thumb is I'll mention it if there's a change in schedule!

File: split.png (622 KB, 1200x809)

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Rapidly approaching what would no doubt be a FINAL DESTINATION, the cart doesn’t slow down one bit as you clamber towards the safety of the catwalk!

Raj is the first to go. Flopping out of the cart like a ragdoll, the skater is quick to regain his footing and help Pepper out as she makes the jump! With both of your friends safely out of the cart, you’re just about to follow suit when you feel your ride tip over the end of the tracks!

Feeling gravity take its toll, you use your friend’s shocked faces (with the exception of Rodney who’s clearly crossing his fingers) as motivation and leap as far as you can!

Sailing through the darkness for a bit too long for your liking, you land on the catwalk with a triumphant ‘CLANG!’ as your trusty metal steed tumbles into what just might be a bottomless pit below!

“Nice jump, chief!” Remarks Pepper as she gives you an approving nod! “Those dynamite explosions earlier didn’t ding you one bit!”

Yea, you sigh as you glance longingly where your cart fell, but without any more railing you’re pretty much stuck here, huh?

“Eh! Snoop first, escape later!” The girl shrugs with a chipper tone of voice!

“What she said!” Nods Raj as he scans the surrounding area, “Anyone see a door around here?”

“There’d better be one along dis’ catwalk!” Frowns Rodney as he slides between you and Pepper! “I ain’t waitin’ around for this cave ta’ fill up with water!”

Your team’s journalist shivers a bit at the sound of the ‘W’ word, but quickly recovers! “W-well what say we split up and find an entrance? Gotta be one around here somewhere!”

The idea gives you pause. Is she sure we should be splitting up outside the scary bunker?

Pepper responds with a shrug as she dons a MINING HELMET from her pocket. “We can stick together too–just thought it’d be faster, slick. Y’know, shout when we find something?”

You have a hard time arguing–there’s nothing painted on the walls around you, nor are there any arrows or signs pointing you towards the delivery entrance or whatever… still, there’s no telling what might be lurking in the darkness… or inside!

What do?
>LET’S STICK TOGETHER!
>I’LL GO WITH (RAJ, PEPPER, RODNEY)
>I’LL GO ALONE… YOU GUYS TAKE THE OTHER WAY!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5735756
>LET’S STICK TOGETHER!
Of course. Because absolutely the smartest thing to do in a dark, convoluted underground complex teeming with hostile, mutated creatures that can tear men apart with ease is split up.

No. Stick together.

>>5735756
>LET’S STICK TOGETHER!
I want to split despite the danger because Rodney is right - we're likely still in a race against the water and the clock's a-ticking.....but at the same time, we don't know what new mutant nasties might be in here. Everyone stay in sight of each other. Worst comes to worst we still have a D-stick left to make our own door because what's one more cave-in in this place?

>>5735756
>I’LL GO WITH RAJ & PEPPER
>RODNEY, YOU DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT
I know he'll tag along, but it's more fun this way.

>>5735762
>>5735775
>>5735777
>STICK TOGETHAAAA
Writing!

>>5735777
But probably this way because it made me laugh

File: angrynoises.png (130 KB, 600x350)

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You give the catwalk a long, hard stare before eventually dramatically shaking your head! Nope, you reply, you’re not taking any chances! Not with a mysterious bunker and the mutants that are totally waiting inside!

“Yea… you’re probably right…” Pepper agrees with a sheepish grin forming on her face. “So what’s the plan then? We goin’ or what!? My SCOOP SENSE is tingling!”

That’s not a real thing. Walking away just as Pepper starts giving you that dumb ‘POUTING FACE’ again, you point further down the catwalk. Raj, Pep and I will head down there, you explain in a confident tone, there’s bound to be an entrance somewhere!

Rodney wastes no time in voicing his opinions. Loudly, of course.

“WHAAAAAA!?!? What the hell do ya’ think you’re doin’ just leaving your ole’ pal in the lurch like that!? Are you kiddin’ me, D!? You bring me all the way down here and just expect me ta’ twiddle my thumbs while you-”

Just figure it out, okay? Quit whining for once and do what you want!

“What I want, hu-”

Let’s roll, you interrupt as you usher Pepper away from your rival’s leering eyes! Heading further along the catwalk dangling over the pit, you and your pals scan the bunker wall for any point of entry! Whatever they put down here has got to be pretty important, you remark!

“AND pretty SECRET!” Adds the redhead as she thumbs her camera with a devious laugh under her breath!

“Should we uh… be here, then?” Raj asks as he pokes the wall with Linda as you continue your search! “What if something, like, really nasty is inside?”

“Then it’s even more important that we share our findings with the rest of the world!” Replies Pepper boldly! “We can’t let this ever happen again!”

You know better than to argue with the girl as you pass by a few empty and unmarked metal crates. She and Mina are gonna butt heads eventually–provided they both survive that long…

“JACKPOT!” Exclaims the redhead as she scurries over what appears to be a massive door built straight into the metal wall! Wait, you groan as she peeks inside, don’t stray too far, damn it!

Chasing after her like a cat that just rushed out the front door, you nearly bowl her over when the two of you skid to a halt inside of what appears to be some kind of…

SECURITY CHECKPOINT!

>CONTD.

File: 7labmap.png (50 KB, 1280x1800)

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>>5736333
“Huh…” Mutters Pepper as she takes a picture of the scanner instruments and the walls of one-way tempered windows bordering them, “Where’d everybody go?”

You smell the answer quicker than you see it: passing through the sparking scanner, you peek around to where the security guards would normally be stationed and find a puddle of coagulated blood and a few tiny chunks of viscera next to a worn office stool along with several other similar puddles heading past the checkpoint!

Welp, you sigh, turning away from the carnage when you start to feel hungry staring at it, guess those monsters have been here… following close behind, Pepper’s eyes widen in shock as she sees what you saw before taking some fresh pictures on her camera!

“The question is, sandcrab:” she mutters as she gets a few different angles, “were the monsters coming in... or were they breaking out?”

Definitely out, you reply as you turn back to examine the door with Raj and find its colossal mechanical hinges all but torn off! Which can only mean one thing…

Regrouping in the doorway leading deeper into the bunker, Raj’s light shines into the next room and briefly illuminates a yellow ‘7’ covered in blood, spent cartridges, and scratches!

This is where it began!

Cautiously passing through the doorway, you find yourself inside some kind of LAB... the entrance to one, at least! Devoid of any chairs, desks, or computers of any kind, you’re still pretty certain you’re in some kind of LOBBY that splits off into three different directions!

“Didn’t we get, like, a MAP of this place or something, dudes?” Asks Raj as he points his lamp down one of the hallways leading deeper into the facility. “Would come in real handy right about now!”

Yea, you nod as you take the LEVEL 7 MAP out, it would, wouldn’t it? Shine some light on me, please!

According to the map, the three paths split into distinct sections:

To the NORTH you’ve got the LABS, from the looks of it, but that way’s blocked by a HUGE airlock…

“A failsafe must’ve triggered and shut it…” Pepper guesses as you all examine the door in all its majesty. “Could probably open it with enough elbow grease, but I’m betting there’s a better way to crack that walnut!”

“Like over there?” Asks Raj as he points to the part of the map marked ‘POWER STATION’! “Could definitely go for some real lights right about now, dudes…”

You were thinking the other way, you reply as you give the part marked ‘ARMORY’ a tap! Could probably find something to blast open the door in there!

Where to?
>LET’S GET SOME POWER GOING!
>CHECK OUT THE BULKHEAD WHERE THE LABS ARE!
>RAID THE ARMORY!
>HIT THE CANTEEN!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5736335
>CHECK THE ESCAPE ROUTE
We might need to beat a retreat in a hurry. Better make sure our way out is clear first!

>>5736335
>HIT THE CANTEEN!
We are hungry. For, uh, no particular reason. Frankly in SPITE of all the blood and viscera, hahaha, not... Not BECAUSE of...

...

Anyway, Canteen.

>>5736335
>>LET’S GET SOME POWER GOING!
Just like in Request of Task's Undead mode, we should focus on getting the power on first!

>>5736335
>LET’S GET SOME POWER GOING!
I’d be willing to bet that there are doors, elevators, and other equipment that would be cut off to us because they lack power.

>>5736335
>>>LET’S GET SOME POWER GOING!

>>5736343
>ESCAPE ROUTE!

>>5736347
>CANTEEN!

>>5736355
>>5736356
>>5736357
>POWER UP!

Writing!

Watch us activate some sort of extensive automated security system and get shredded by turrets and other fun things.

File: powerroom.jpg (17 KB, 236x354)

17 KB JPG

As fun as it’d be to blow open the door with whatever you find in the ARMORY, your money’s on a ROCKET LAUNCHER, Raj makes a decent point–it’s gonna get really annoying if you keep having to tug doors open like some kind of caveman!

“D’aww, and here I was looking forward to seeing you do more ‘Tough Guy’ stuff!” Replies Pepper with mock disappointment in her voice! “Bummer, sandcrab!”

Time enough for that later, you mutter under your breath, right now you really oughta check on the power situation… especially if you need to beat a hasty retreat later!

“Gotcher’ back, bro!” Smiles Raj as he readies his FIRE AX! “Lead the way!”

Gladly--if you hang around that blood puddle any longer you’re gonna start drooling… and you just know people are gonna hold that against you! Hanging a right takes you into a half caved-in tunnel–no doubt due to the theatrics you pulled up above earlier!

Crawling over the rubble like a cockroach, you wait until Pepper and Raj join you before continuing any further into the darkness! Fumbling forwards, your first stop takes you to what the MAP calls the POWER STATION... and sure enough the whole place is deader than Smythe!

“Hmm…” Muses Pepper as she flits to and fro like a red haired butterfly, “Weird…”

Okay, Pepper, you groan as you join Raj in examining the veritable forest of wires and pipes around you, what’s so weird, hmm?

“Most of this equipment seems to be in pretty decent shape!” She reports as she points to a CONSOLE nestled up against an electrical box flanked by even more wires, “You’d think there’d be more signs of sabotage, is all.”

Now that she mentions it, she’s right--try as you might to find evidence of someone or something carving through the electrical components as part of some grand escape plan, you just can’t see it! Sure, there are a few gashes here and there, but they’re erratic–probably just there thanks to a scuffle with a monster!

“Maybe someone just turned everything off an’ left?” Shrugs Raj as the lab groans around you! You’d like to tell him he’s wrong, but as the words sink into your heads, both you and Pepper exchange a wary glance!

“Follow me, boys...” The girl commands as she confidently strides towards the tunnel marked ‘GEOTHERMAL’, “I wanna check something.”

Oh boy…

>CONTD.

File: rajplant.png (138 KB, 481x351)

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>>5736416
“WOAH.”

Woah is RIGHT! Heading down the tunnel towards the aforementioned ‘GEOTHERMAL’, you find yourself in a chamber straight out of a sci-fi flick! Massive pipes snake across the room connected to one colossal central grated vent not unlike the air vents you saw back in the mines!

But the yawning abyss in front of you, well…

“Whoof!” Groans Pepper as she tugs on her collar a bit, “Hotter n’ heck in here!”

“Least that means the GEOTHERMAL VENT’S unblocked!” Chirps Raj, prompting both you and Pepper to look at him with a mixture of surprise and concern.

Raj, you stammer, are you… you good, man?

“Is your head okay?” Asks the journalist as she cocks her head to the side with worry in her eyes!

“Right as rain, dudes!” The skater replies with the usual thumbs up! “Could go for a bite to eat, but feelin’ aces otherwise!”

Okay, you nod, still unable to process what you just heard, you just… he just said something somewhat… knowledgeable?

“Eh, alternative power sources are a bit of a fascination of mine!” Raj explains as he idly spins Linda on his finger, “See, geothermal energy works similarly to nuclear fission in that they both harness steam, yea? But while a nuclear reactor requires specific materials to function, usually the isotope URANIUM-235 or, in much older and smaller models PLUTONIUM, a geothermal reactor like that one over there,”

He pauses to point at the gargantuan DOOHICKY taking up the majority of the far end of the chamber.

“Primarily harnesses the natural heat vented upwards via CONVECTION CURRENTS through breakages and cracks in the Earth’s mantle, which when combined with an appropriate water source can-”

Holy crap, Raj, you remark with genuine pride in your voice, you’re glad you brought him along!

“Likewise!” Adds Pepper beaming with pride! “Do you think you can figure out what’s wrong?”

“Way ahead of ya, muchachos!” He laughs as he leads you both around the central pit where all the heat is emanating from, “Take a look up there for me!”

Following his headlamp, you blink in confusion as you find yourself staring at a pipe on the ceiling with a hole where…

Oh for crying out loud, ANOTHER missing part!?

>CONTD.

File: valve.png (106 KB, 365x208)

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>>5736417
“Looks like a VALVE…” Frowns Pepper with a dissatisfied click of her tongue. “My hunch is looking better by the second, guys…”

And what hunch is that, exactly, you ask as you scan the room for any sign of the missing part!

“I’m getting the feeling this was an inside job...” The girl whispers as Raj continues to look around the plant!

“Aha! Two more closed valves… missin’ the wheels too!”

SERIOUSLY!?

“No worries, dude–we’ll just find one around here!” The skater suggests, not flinching in the least as you stare at the huge pit dominating the room with nothing but a waist-high rusty safety rail keeping you from falling to certain doom!

… Raj, you huff, they probably chucked the valves down there!

“Huh.” He remarks, “... welp, better look for another!”

This guy…

>ROLL ME 3d100 TO SEARCH FOR ANOTHER! BEST OF 3 ROLLS! BONUSES:
>DIESEL-5 (-2 DARK, -3 IT’S HOT)
>PEPPER+0 (+5 SNOOPIN, -2 DARK, -3 IT’S HOT)
>RAJ+0 (+5 COOL CUSTOMER, -2 DARK, -3 IT’S HOT)

Rolled 91, 64, 28 = 183 (3d100)

>>5736418

Rolled 60, 9, 66 = 135 (3d100)

>>5736418
I thought Rodney was still going to follow us, but he’s out of our sight again. This bothers me. We should have known better than telling him to, “do what you want.”

Rolled 74, 12, 56 = 142 (3d100)

>>5736418
I’m just gonna mosey things along here…

>>5736471
I was gonna head to bed and call it for tonight actually, so no need to rush! I'll probably be back for more on Tuesday around 4-5PM PST. No need to roll again yet, but thanks for the support! I generally prefer 1 roll per player, but if I need an extra roll in the future I'll be sure to let you know!

>>5736440
Sorry to be a little metagamey here, but I noticed how I wrote that update and got worried that I didn't do what people voted for, so... Don't worry--Rodney followed you! He's just a little peeved, is all!

>>5736473
Oh, I see. I thought he stayed behind and I got worried he would take, “do whatever you want,” literally and would get up to shenanigans.

>>5736485
Yep, my bad! I never want to disregard the player's votes! Everyone's favorite delivery boy will be back before ya know it!

>>5736418
Reminds me of playing Infra.

Rolled 6, 13, 100 = 119 (3d100)

>>5736418
WATCH THIS!

File: heh.jpg (40 KB, 639x480)

40 KB JPG

>>5736510
I NEVER MISS

>>5736511
Too bad you were not up to bat

>>5736517
This guy >>5736471 rolled twice and the QM shot it down here: >>5736473

>>5736518
I can’t tell if he actually did scrap my second roll, but I hope he did now.

>>5736423
>>5736440
>>5736510
THE ROLLS:
>DIESEL: 86!
>PEPPER: 64!
>RAJ: GODDAMN 100!

>>5736518
This anon's correct! Just to be clear again: I normally don't accept two rolls from the same player unless I explicitly ask for them--I know a lot of /qst/ers are in different timezones and have different schedules, so in cases like this I usually like to wait for a third roller.

That said, I know that I sometimes rush through other rolls--apologies to those that come in late.

Got work in a bit, but expect an update around 4-5PM PST! Thanks for your patience!

>>5736508
Literally one of my favorite games. God taste, anon!

>>5736646
>God taste, anon!
I know.
That's why when I'm saying Pepper is worst girl, you better believe it.

>>5736646
Sorry didn't see that they were from the same player, I thought that we had comically lost a crit.

>>5736664
No worries-I wasnt exactly clear about it! Just happy to give you all a legit 100! In finding a Valve, no less

>>5736647
Shit, you've got a point... BRB killing Pepper

>>5736665
Halflife three confirmed?

>>5736749
Keep dreaming. Maybe the dreams will come true one day.

>>5736749
Nah they're too busy making the official SLICE QUEST GAME with source physics and shit. I begged Gaben and he really liked Raj so we're in

>>5737080
Now THAT'S a Nat 100! Good ol' Raj.

File: Spoiler Image (696 KB, 800x600)

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Wiping the fresh layer of sweat off your forehead, you roll up your sleeves and unzip your TRENDY TRACKSUIT and get to SNOOPIN’! It’s a long shot for sure, but if there’s even just one valve lying around here you can-

Oh wait, here’s one!

“GOT IT!” Reports Pepper as she pops out from behind the generator with a VALVE in her hands! “Here, come on over a-oh wow, found another!”

Wait, seriously? Making your way over to the redhead, you nearly trip on a piece of metal just lying in the middle of the chamber! Christ, is someone trying to make you fall into that pi-oh shit, it’s another VALVE!

“What was that!?” Hollers Pepper as she holds up another VALVE, “Got distracted by another VALVE!”

“THERE you jerks are!” Roars Rodney as he comes shuffling in from the power station dragging something behind him! “You’re stone cold, ya’ know that, D? An’ not in the cool way either! I coulda’ been picked off back there!”

And yet he still lives, you groan as you pick another VALVE off the floor. What’s that he’s dragging around behind him? His ego?

“Ha ha, you oughta’ do stand up…” Grumbles the delivery boy as he sets up shop next to the growing pile of VALVES you and Pepper have started. “I was busy lookin’ around an’ nearly got buried beneath these dang things–thought ya’ could use ‘em!”

Pouring a bag of VALVES onto the already sizable pile, Rodney puffs out his chest as Pepper studies the haul with a neutral expression. “Ya see that, red? These arms were made for carryin’ PRINCESSES, y’know!”

“My feet are starting to hurt a bit…” Muses the girl as she glances between you and Rodney. “But I think I’ll manage for now…” Peering in the direction of Raj’s light as it dances around the ceiling, Pepper climbs halfway up your VALVE MOUNTAIN and calls out to the skater!

“Raj,” she shouts, “We found some VALVES! C’mon back!”

“Un Momento, por favor!” He laughs from within a jungle of steam pipes! As he slowly makes his way back over, you and the others examine your hoard.

Still think it was sabotage? You ask as you shoot Pepper a skeptical glance. The girl shrugs.

“I can’t tell if we’re just real lucky or the saboteur was really lazy…”

>CONTD.

File: rodneypissed.png (362 KB, 700x400)

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>>5737135
“Hold on a sec–we got a saboteur now!?” Sputters Rodney as he hops into a kung fu pose! “Just point ‘em out to me, red–I’ll drop ‘em like a hot plate!”

“We just noticed that the lab looks pretty good considering it had a MONSTER OUTBREAK…” Explains the journalist, crossing her arms as a puzzled look forms on her face. “Almost like someone let ‘em out.”

And from what you’ve heard, you add, Hauser doesn’t sound like the kind of guy to do that… especially with how hard he’s trying to keep a lid on everything.

“Huh…” Mutters Rodney as he actually looks like he’s thinking for once, “So you’re sayin’... someone else did it?”

Before you answer in an appropriately-snarky way, Raj leaps into the middle of everyone grinning like an idiot! “Sup, dudes!?”

Sup himself, you growl as you nearly trip over another VALVE! It’s dark in here–is he trying to get slugged!?

“Well maybe this’ll brighten up your day, bro!” He counters as he reaches into his pockets! Look, Raj, you sigh as you preemptively rub your temples, we already found a lifetime supply of va-HOLY SHIT!

You barely manage to dart out of the way as a three-pronged metal pole whizzes past your cheek! Tripping over another VALVE, you shoot the skater an incredulous look! What the he-

Before you can ask your question, you get an answer in the form of a METAL POLE just barely shorter than you… its top half crackling with ELECTRICITY!

“Wh-where’d you find this, Raj!?” Asks Pepper as her blue eyes light up from the sparks!

“Found it behind the machines!” Raj replies as he gives the weapon a twirl! “Probably used it to make sure the critters played nice, huh?”

Yea, you stammer as you eye the weapon like a dog staring at a fresh steak, thanks for finding it for me, man!

Before you can take it off his hands, however, you’re bodychecked by Pepper!

>CONTD.

File: stunstaffbutnotascooljust(...).gif (81 KB, 671x750)

81 KB GIF

>>5737138
Nah, just kidding. Who else would bodycheck you here?

“You get ALL the cool stuff, D!” Rodney protests as he reaches for the weapon! “Try thinkin’ of someone besides yourself for once, yea?”

Oh you’re thinking of him, alright, you growl, you’re thinking of him ‘accidentally’ falling down that pit right ther-

“Okay, boys… take a breather!” Interrupts Pepper as she slides between the two of you with a stern look on her face! “In case you forgot, Raj found it first!”

Yea, well, you stammer, Raj was totally about to give it to you! He’s nice like that!

“Raj is nice about everyone, sandcrab…” Sighs Pepper as she gestures to the skater’s smiling face. “Gotta try harder than that!”

She’s loving this, isn’t she? When the girl averts your gaze and starts whistling an unfamiliar tune, you decide to take matters into your own hands!

>BARTER! RAJ, I’LL GIVE YA’ SOMETHING IF YOU LET ME HAVE THAT!
>BE SELFLESS! FINE, ROD, YOU CAN HAVE IT!
>BE AGGRESSIVE! I’LL KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU TRY TO TAKE IT, ROD!
>JUST GRAB IT AND RUN!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5737140
>BE SELFLESS! FINE, ROD, YOU CAN HAVE IT!
He needs it more, obviously, being the weaker fighter.
Say that, btw. Aloud. While looking right at him.

>>5737140
>BE SELFLESS! FINE, ROD, YOU CAN HAVE IT!

>>5737140
>BE SELFLESS! FINE, ROD, YOU CAN HAVE IT!

>>5737166
>>5737172
>>5737200
>BE SELFLESS!
Writingggg

File: dieselvsrod2.png (255 KB, 700x400)

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You’re conflicted. On one hand every minute you have to converse or even interact with Rodney is like sticking your hand into the pizza oven!

Wait, nope, you’ve pretty much built up an immunity to that by now. Bad simile!

On the other hand, though, you really want that weapon. Like, REALLY bad!

Knowing all too well that Pepper will surely instigate some sort of squabble between you for her sick enjoyment, you take a steadying breath and put on the best smile you can muster when dealing with your ‘Rival’. This calls for a different tactic!

You know what, Rod? You can keep it, man!

The sunglassed simpleton stares at you as if you just transformed into a polar bear.

“I… I can?”

Well sure, you reply with a good-natured laugh as you give his stupid jacketed shoulder a friendly pat, why not? He doesn’t look convinced.

“But…” he mutters as he eyes you up and down like a dog guarding a chew toy, “But I thought you wanted it…”

“Yea…” Adds Pepper, clearly unamused by the lack of fighting, “What gives, sandcrab?”

“Don’t ya see, guys!?” Raj answers with a proud grin on his face, “They’re finally burying the hatchet after facing tonight together! Adversity’s made ‘em closer!”

Uh, no, you counter as you feel bile rise in your throat at the thought of being friends with Rodney again, you just know he’ll need all the cheap weapons and handicaps he can get… being, y’know, the WEAKER FIGHTER and all.

The delivery boy’s face goes through three stages in the span of three seconds: confusion, comprehension, and finally anger! “WHAD’ YOU SAY ABOUT ME, D!?”

It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you shrug as you expertly brush his anger off, Pepper saw it herself back when you fought in the woods earlier–it’s okay if he needs a little help-

Snatching the weapon out of Raj’s hands, Rodney drops the TELESCOPING ZAP ROD at your feet! “Y-yea, well… y-YOU’RE the one that’s gonna need the handicap!”

Whatever, dude, you scoff, now go start turning some of those valves!

“HAH! I’ll have ‘em all done before you can even finish ONE, prick!” Scooping up a handful of VALVES in his arms, Rodney scurries off to unseal the pipes cackling all the way!

“Gotta say, sandcrab,” Pepper remarks as the three of you watch him zip around the chamber, “You’re pretty good at manipulating the poor guy…”

Not really, you shrug, he’s just stupid!

>CONTD.

File: Spoiler Image (71 KB, 440x540)

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>>5737323
To Rodney’s credit, he finishes up pretty damn quickly! By the time he approaches you again panting and sweating like he’ll no doubt be at his inevitable sex crime trial, you and the others have already chucked several extra VALVES into the central pit!

“D… done!” He wheezes as a smile forms on his sweaty face! “Beat… beat THAT, D…”

Oh no, you beat me, you reply halfheartedly. Raj, is the power thing good to go now?

“Hmm….” Mutters the skater-turned-power plant technician as he scans the pipes and samples the dull humming emanating from within, “Sounds like she’s purrin’ to me, dude.”

“Then what are we waiting for!?” Sputters Pepper as she angrily stomps her foot on the ground! “We’ve got DIRT to unearth!”

Hey, you counter, she’s the one that started the game of ‘Toss-The Valve’!

“Irrelevant! Let’s go! C’mon, hustle! Move! Time’s-a-wastin’!”

Ushering everyone towards the exit like a deranged fire marshal, the girl’s enthusiasm is extinguished as quickly as it manifests! Hey, you groan as she stands in the doorway like a kid-sized statue, whatever happened to ‘hustling’, h-

Pepper barely has time to dart out of the way of a gleaming MACHETE! Scrambling frantically over to you, you and your pals stand dumbfounded as a familiar jumpsuited goliath ducks under the doorway and enters the geothermal chamber!

“Aw CRIPES,” Whines Rodney as he quickly regains his breath, “I thought we lost dis’ guy!”

Apparently not, you stammer as the giant stomps towards you! Before you can devise a plan, he charges!

>ROLL ME 4d100 TO NOT GET TACKLED! BEST OF 3 ROLLS! BONUSES:
>DIESEL+5 (+5 SPEED BONUS)
>PEPPER +0
>RAJ +5(+5 COOL CUSTOMER)
>RODNEY +4(+4 SPEED BONUS)

Rolled 91, 85, 73 = 249 (3d100)

>>5737325
WATCH THIS!

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>5737334
NEVER MISS!!
also here's the last one

Rolled 57, 86, 54, 70 = 267 (4d100)

>>5737325
>Rodney's speed bonus is JUST a little less than ours
Kek.

>8 rolls
>none under 50
So far so good...

Rolled 81, 40, 53, 92 = 266 (4d100)

>>5737325

>>5737334
>>5737335
>>5737339
>>5737346
THE ROALZ:
>DIESEL: 96!
>PEPPER: 86!
>RAJ: 90!
>RODNEY: 96!
Writing!

>>5737339
And he rolled the EXACT amount as Diesel... c-could he be getting STRONGER?!

>>5737365
Of course we planned to lure the slasher all the way down here

File: gotaplan.jpg (20 KB, 480x360)

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Oh NO you don’t! Diving out of the way in perfect unison, your assailant swings his blade in a last-ditch attempt at hurting someone, but completely whiffs it! Coming to a halt long before it gets close to the pit, the slasher turns around to face you with grim impassiveness in its glowing ‘eye’!

“How the hell did it get down here!?” Stammers Pepper as she catches her breath!

No clue, you reply as you chuck the SAWN-OFF SHOTGUN into her waiting hands, but he ain’t stickin’ around for long!

Sensing your intent, the giant picks up a handful of VALVES from the pile and chucks them in your direction! You’ve already got a plan, though!

What is it? CHOOSE 1 OR MORE FOR YOUR TEAM!
INVENTORY PASTEBIN:
https://pastebin.com/RuZL1Xgh
>LIGHT ‘EM UP! (DIESEL-FLAMETHROWER, MOLOTOV) (RAJ-FLARE GUN)
>GO FOR THE LEGS! (DIESEL-MEAT CLEAVER, STUN STAFF) (RAJ-AX) (RODNEY-PICKAX)
>BLAST ‘EM! (PEPPER-SHOTGUN) (DIESEL-.38 REVOLVER)
>TRIP HIM UP! (DIESEL-HAND LOTION, GREASY PIZZA)
>RUN FOR IT!
>WRITE-IN!

That's it for tonight, by the way! Should have more at the usual 4-5PM PST time! Sorry for the short updates tonight... still acclimating to going back to work!

>>5737415
>>GO FOR THE LEGS! (DIESEL-MEAT CLEAVER, STUN STAFF) (RAJ-AX) (RODNEY-PICKAX)
Diesel using the staff to immobilize and Raj Using the axe on it's left leg
At worst we slow them down, at best we hit the carotid and put it on a bleed out timer timer

>>5737445
>>5737415
+1

>>5737415
>GO FOR THE LEGS! (DIESEL-MEAT CLEAVER, STUN STAFF) (RAJ-AX) (RODNEY-PICKAX)

>>5737415
>TRIP HIM UP! (DIESEL-HAND LOTION, GREASY PIZZA)
I feel like he’s probably too tough to harm through mundane means. Let’s try and trick him into falling into the pit.

>>5737445
Nevermind, forgot to refresh. This works. +1

Disregard >>5737478

>>5737415
>GO FOR THE LEGS! (DIESEL-MEAT CLEAVER, STUN STAFF) (RAJ-AX) (RODNEY-PICKAX)

>>5737445
>>5737415
+2

>>5737445
>>5737459
>>5737477
>>5737479
>>5737495
>>5737515
>GO FOR THE LEEEEGS!

Time to roll! No pressure, now!
>ROLL ME 4d100 TO SWEEP THE LEG! BEST OF 3! BONUSES:
>DIESEL:+1 (+5 COMBAT BONUS, -4 TOUGH GUY)
>RAJ:+1 (+5 COOL CUSTOMER, -4 TOUGH GUY)
>RODNEY:+0 (+4 COMBAT BONUS, -4 TOUGH GUY!)

Seeya again around 4-5PM PST!

Rolled 8, 35, 73, 27 = 143 (4d100)

>>5737688

Rolled 64, 53, 83, 48 = 248 (4d100)

>>5737688

Rolled 27, 94, 79, 46 = 246 (4d100)

We here at Fazbear Entertainment support the running of other pizza related quest endeavors! And do not at all wish for scandalls to break out about them!

>>5737688

>>5737707
>>5737710
>>5737714
>everyone passes but Rodney
Should have kept that shock-prod, buddy.

Whoops, I'm a total moron--I asked for 4d100, but Pepper didn't get an attack action.... I know Rodney's gonna whiff, but did you guys want to apply the third roll to him instead and leave Pepper to do.... Pepper things? Either way works for me, just noticed I made stuff confusing! Apologies!
>GIVE THE THIRD ROLL TO RODNEY!
>SCREW THAT GUY! LET HIM KEEP THE FOURTH! PEPPER CAN DO SOME RANDOM CRAP!

>>5737714
Oh crap, a fellow Pizza Partaker! Good luck on the new quest, yo! Everyone go check it out for me--I want a report on my desk by the end of the day!

>>5737802
>GIVE THE THIRD ROLL TO RODNEY!

>>5737802
>GIVE THE THIRD ROLL TO RODNEY!

>>5737802
>>GIVE THE THIRD ROLL TO RODNEY!

>>5737802
>GIVE THE THIRD ROLL TO RODNEY!
But he better be grateful.

>>5737707
>>5737710
>>5737714
THE ROLES:
>DIESEL: 65!
>RAJ: 95!
>RODNEY: 83!

Writing!

>>5738018
you know he won't

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With synchronization that would put a boy band to shame, you, Raj, and Rodney duck past the VALVE volley while Pepper takes a quick action shot! Rushing towards your freakishly-large foe, you ready your newly-acquired STUN STAFF as the slasher swings his machete at your head! As you slide underneath it like a baseball player stealing second, you use your momentum to jam the weapon’s business end into the giant’s coverall’d thigh!

The staff strikes true, but you’re met with almost unnatural resistance as the hit connects–like you’re spearing a brick wall or something! At the same time, however, the chucked VALVES crash into a canopy of pipes overhead causing steam to leak into the chamber!

If the brute feels the attack he barely shows it, but to your pleasant surprise the slasher doesn’t seem to move or react as both Raj and Rodney move in to do some damage! Struggling to intercept them, you feel a grim grin form on your face as your pals slip past the monster’s defenses and sink BOTH of their weapons into its meaty leg!

“THAT’S for bustin’ those pipes, ya big idiot!” Sneers Rodney as he twists his PICKAX around! “I just fixed those, ya lug!”

“Lemme AX you something! Hahaha, get it?” Smirks Raj as he and Rodney exchange grins! Before they can retrieve their weaponry, however, the brute brings its machete down towards their heads!

Luckily Pepper was ready for it–distracting the monster with a timely flash of her camera, both Raj and Rodney have plenty of time to back off before the slasher can catch them! Stumbling after the duo with clear damage to its left leg, you don’t see much of a change in its almost drunken gait, but it’s still something!

As the already-sweltering temperature steadily increases, the floor slowly becomes obscured by a thick blanket of steam and smoke! In a bold display of courage bordering on stupidity, Raj starts to climb some of the pipes for what can only be a big attack!

Unfortunately he catches the attention of the slasher, who immediately makes a beeline for him even with his torn-up leg!

How do you support Raj?! ONE OR MORE!
>ZAP ‘EM AGAIN!
>GET HIM WITH THE CLEAVER!
>CO-OP ATTACK WITH RODNEY!
>LIGHT ‘EM UP!
>PEPPER, OPEN FIRE!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5738106
>>GET HIM WITH THE CLEAVER!
>>CO-OP ATTACK WITH RODNEY!

>>5738106
>LIGHT ‘EM UP!
>PEPPER, OPEN FIRE!

>>5738117
This.

Stay out of close combat. Don’t feed the hunger.

>>5738163
But I WANT us to become a being of untold horrors!

>>5738241
What if we go crazy and eat Raj or something, though?

>>5738109
>MARIO AND LUIGI: SUPERSTAR SAGA

>>5738117
>>5738163
>LIGHT 'EM UPPPP!

Sorry anons, I guess players DON'T want the cool HUNGER ENDING! LAAAME!

>ROLL ME 2d100 TO BURN THIS BRUTE! AND BLAST 'EM! HOPE YOU DON'T HIT RAJ! BEST OF 3 ROLLS! BONUSES:

>DIESEL: +0(+5 COMBAT BONUS, -1 STEAMY IN HERE, -4 TOUGH GUY)
>PEPPER +0(+3 IMPROVED DUBIOUS FIREARMS, +2 BIG TARGET, -1 STEAMY, -4 TOUGH GUY)

>>5738242
Died for a good cause!

Rolled 35, 34 = 69 (2d100)

>>5738244
That's insulting to Luigi

Rolled 32, 76 = 108 (2d100)

>>5738244

Rolled 89, 68 = 157 (2d100)

>>5738244

>>5738248
>>5738249
>>5738251
>HIGHEST ROALES:
>DIESEL: 89!
>PEPPER: 68!
Writing!

>>5738257
Uh, you sure you got that right, boss? Guy above me rolled 76 for PEPPER.

>>5738257
Whoops, you're absolutely right! Man, I've been TRIPPING since I got home... and not for the good reason either! Good catch anon!

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Oh no you DON’T, you roar as you draw your AGRICULTURAL FLAMETHROWER, no one’s hurting your bro on YOUR watch!

“That’s right! Watch THIS!”

As Rodney rushes ahead of you with his PICKAX ready to clobber, you consider for a small, innocent moment that were you to let loose with your flamethrower now, well…

It’d really be his fault for jumping in front of you, right?

Before you can kill two birds with one stone, however, your rival thwarts himself by tripping on another VALVE obscured by the growing layer of steam on the ground! Tumbling face-first with a pathetic ‘nyeeeeh…’ escaping from his lips, Rodney manages to clear the way just as you order Raj to climb faster!

“Workin on i-”

The slasher, well, slashes at your friend as he continues to climb, and though he does a good job of dodging, Raj is only saved when you throw some flames onto the giant’s massive back!

A rank, fishlike scent fills the already-muggy air as the flames spread across your attacker, and once it realizes they aren’t going to extinguish themselves, the slasher turns around and shields its face from your fiery onslaught!

To Tall, Dark, and Scary’s credit, he tanks the flames like a pro as he slowly stomps over to you like a man trudging through a blizzard! As his coveralls crackle and pop from the heat, you nearly take your hand off the trigger when you see scores of tiny hair-like worms emerging from the boils forming in the flames!

Falling to the floor in steaming puddles of puss, they nearly distract you from the giant staggering towards you with his machete ready to stab! Just when he gets too close for comfort, though, Pepper slides in front of you with her SAWN-OFF SHOTGUN at the ready!

“Stomp on THIS!”

Both barrels sound off like dueling thunder strikes as the burning behemoth takes them both in the chest! As the front of his jumpsuit explodes with steaming black gore, the slasher stumbles backwards just as Raj finishes scaling one of the machines!

“Awesome work, bros!” He cheers as he raises his ax and prepares to leap, “Now let me handle the rest!”

Still staggered from the shotgun blast, the monster is in the perfect position for the skater to leap onto… and that PIT is close too! If Raj can knock him that way, well…

You feel something inside of you churn.

No… it’s so weak now… You can handle this!

What do!?
>LET RAJ HANDLE IT!
>H AN D LE IT ! ! !

>>5738291
>LET RAJ HANDLE IT!
Do not listen to the intrusive thoughts.

>>5738291
>LET RAJ HANDLE IT!
But definitely sit there and tremble in a barely restrained desire for excessive violence.

>>5738302
>suppressed violence tremors
Oh, yeah, 100%.

>>5738291
>LET RAJ HANDLE IT!

Only honor between bros can hold back the hunger of the BEAST.

>>5738299
>>5738302
>>5738330
>LEAVE IT TO RAJ!
You got it! Going to bed, but let's do a ROLL!

>ROLL ME 1d100+9 (+5 COOL CUSTOMER, +5 SKATE ROLL, +5 DIESEL BELIEVES, -2 STEAMY, -3 NOT AS TOUGH GUY) TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH! BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

I'll update again around the usual time! Seeya then and good luck!

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>5738364
RAAAAAAAJ!

Rolled 1 + 9 (1d100 + 9)

>>5738364
WATCH THIS

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>5738364

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>>5738390
I never miss...

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>>5738390
We watched, alright.

>>5738390
Whoof, bad timing, but pretty funny ngl
Anyways gonna sleep but will figure this stuff out TOMORROW

>>5738386
>>5738390
>>5738391
>HIGHEST ROLL: NAT 1!
Actually screw it we'll do it NOW! Writing the ABSOLUTE LAST UPDATE OF TONIGHT! HONEST!

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>>5738390
I think the laws of probability would have a problem with this quest so far.

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No, you think to yourself as you feel your head start to get cloudy, you’re… he can. You know Raj can…

It’s only after your fingers start to hurt that you realize how hard you’re clenching the FLAMETHROWER. Easing up just as the slasher recovers from Pepper’s attack, you slowly retreat with Pepper in tow as the monster marches after you with a murderous glint in its sole ‘eye’ peeking out from its tattered hood!

Splashing black, goopy blood on the geothermal chamber’s floor, the giant barely notices the sound of skateboard wheels against metal… but when he does, it’s already too late!

Letting a howl loose as he rockets off of the top of the machine he climbed, Raj soars like a messy-haired eagle towards your assailant with his FIRE AX raised and ready to chop! Tearing through the steam like it was smoke at a concert, the intensity of the skater’s grin is only matched by the look of determination on his scruffy face!

“Go, Raj!” Cheers Pepper as she pumps her fists! “Get ‘em!”
YEA, you add, KICK ITS TWELVE-FOOT ASS!

It’s all set up so perfectly: even if he whiffs the ax attack he’ll still knock the slasher into the pit! And if he screws that up, well, at least he can hit the bastard with an ax, right?

All that falls apart, however, when the slasher spins with frightening speed and snatches his would-be slayer out of the air like a foul ball! Stopped dead in his aerial tracks, Raj’s tongue pops out in surprise as both his FIRE AX and his trusty skateboard Linda go tumbling into the layer of steam!

Just when you thought the urge was gone, it comes back… and this time it’s more intense than ever before!

KILL OR BE KILLED!

ROLL 1d100+10 (+5 COMBAT ROLL, +10 HUNGER, -2 STEAMY, -3 NOT AS TOUGH GUY) TO INDULGE! BEST OF 3! DON’T EVEN THINK OF FAILING!

Rolled 65 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>5738410
w-watch this...?

Rolled 64 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>5738410
I’m imagining Raj squeaking like a dog toy when the giant grabs him out of the air.

Rip and tear time.

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>5738410

BEAAASSSSST!

please don't murder Raj in a blind rage...please...

No indiscriminate murder... but I guess the beast is TOAST.

>>5738679
---‐--------:^)------

>>5738413
>>5738419
>>5738422
>HIGHEST ROLL: 107!!!!
Writing! Sorry, was wiped out when I got home from work-thanks for your patience!

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It was easier to resist before. Even if cutting up those NOTBUGS earlier made you feel better than that kiss from Mina, you were able to hold it together–even if whatever the hunger is makes you stronger, you get the feeling that you’re standing on the edge of a deep, deep pit… one you don’t think you’ll be climbing out of once you tumble in.

But when you see the giant’s machete rushing towards your friend Raj, well…

You can definitely say you tried.

A fire ignites in your legs and feet as you launch off the ground and over to the slasher like a heat seeking missile! Crashing into his blood-soaked torso, you feel a fresh coat of warmth wash over you as you tunnel through him–your fingers carving jagged swaths through his once-tough skin with each scrape!

Feeling hot chunks of flesh ball up underneath your nails, an unfamiliar energy courses through your muscles that makes each scrape, punch, and kick even easier than the last!

Each attack you land sends an almost ticklish sensation through your body, and by the time your prey realizes what’s happening, you’re erupting with laughter as you dig through its worm-riddled organs like you were cleaning a turkey!

All other sensations dull as you continue to coat yourself in the weakling’s viscera. Every splash, every wound, every second you remain alive is a testament to your power–undeniable truth that you, and you alone, are the worthiest!

YOU ARE WORTHY!

>KEEP INDULGING!
>THIS IS ENOUGH!

>>5739006

>THIS IS ENOUGH!

REMEMBER THE BOND OF BROS!

>>5739006
>>KEEP INDULGING!

>>5739006
>THIS IS ENOUGH!
Well, it’ll be fun explaining this to the others.

>>5739006
>THIS IS ENOUGH!

>>5739006
>THIS IS ENOUGH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>5739007
>>5739030
>>5739043
>>5739076
>THIS IS ENOUGH!

>>5739020
>INDULGE!

Writing!

>CAPTCHA: SPRAT