Paracelsus guides you through it. You're up front, but she's giving clear instructions.
"We head to the counter, and ask for someone there. Do your best to look intimidating, pretend like you're my bodyguard."
"Is that going to help?" You ask, not sure if luring with vinegar over honey is a good idea, frankly.
"It marks us as expensive cargo, makes it more likely somebody's going to stab us, but the person we pick is going to try harder to keep us alive. Also, if you look intimidating enough, the two men in the corner that are planning to rob us might think better of it."
"How do you-"
"They show up as red on my Friend-or-Foe spell. Not that it's guaranteed to work, they also just look like the types."
"You have a-"
"Yes, I do things when you're away or on the road. Magic is piss-easy, honey, as long as you can adjust to the language."

You feel as though you're being talked down to when she says that, considering you haven't really figured it out at all yet. Then again, you're not great with languages either... if that's what she meant.
Sitting down at the bar, Paracelsus asks for a drink in that strange language. You are both granted a mug of... faintly yellow liquid. If it tastes as bad as it smells, you might not be able to keep it down. Paracelsus, however, guides you through it.
"Set it on fire. The alcohol content is just right to permit for a nice flame. Drink it, too, even if it tastes like a well-worn boot. I won't be doing it, I'm a lovely noblewoman with a terrible curse, after all."
Ah, so that's her angle... Sure, you can work with that.

She grabs her own mug and begins sipping it, before coughing. She's faking it, you can tell.
You, however, breathe a puff of fire into the clay mug, and lean back a bit when the fire turns green. It attracts attention, and once you feel like there are enough eyes on you, you also drink the liquid as it's still flaming. The taste is... honestly not that bad. A bit too sweet to be a proper beer, cloying even, but it reminds you of the crusade grog. A strange time to be nostalgic over, admittedly. You exhale smoke through your nostrils, afterwards, feeling a nice little burn through your body as a result.
Maybe drinking things that are on fire is something you should do more. This is pleasant;

Paracelsus then starts talking, hushed, and the barman begins to write some things down, and talks to her.
"Alright, Graham. There's a few options. How much money do we have left over, right now?"
"656 favors, if I've counted it right."
She whispers to the barman again.
"Right. So, the economy option would be Two-teeth Elwin. He's a thief and a murderer, but he knows the forests well enough. He'll cost us 100 favors to hire. I don't like what I'm hearing, but we might be able to keep him in line."
You nod, and add:
"Keep going. I'd prefer to get something good over something that might slit our throats."
Paracelsus seems to agree.
"The next one is a two-package deal. Decent fighters, not altogether bad. They're twins, and while they're known to be too confident for their own good, they don't break their contracts. 175 favors. One has a club, the other has a bow. They're also absolute morons, according to the barman here, which is something to certainly keep in mind."
You are able to suffer fools... But when they're also your guide, it's a dangerous game to play.

"250 favors for this next one. A ranger. Apparently, he prefers to live in the forests, but comes here sometimes to get things he can't make himself. He's cheap because he doesn't need much... but he's also fey-touched. Meaning he is, factually speaking, crazy. And there may be some magical side-effects to him. Frankly, it's hard to tell what the hell his deal is until you travel with him. He's an unknown."
"Sounds better. Next?"
"400 favors, professional mercenary. Usually hunts for fey. Demands total obedience to him when it comes to escorts, but he is reliable... As long as there isn't a counter-contract. He goes where the money is. Good with a zweihander, has some plate armor... apparently also from overseas."
"A mercenary knight." You say, nodding. He's likely not lying about his credentials, and the fact he outright says that he'll betray you if there's money involved is... Honest, if nothing else.

"Are those all our options?"
"Any higher, and we have to head elsewhere."
Well, this *is* the cheap help...

>Get Two-teeth.(100 favors)
Cheap, and you can keep him in line. Should be fine.

>Buy the twins (175 favors)
Loyalty is worth a lot, you'll probably be able to get to where you need to be with them.

>Get the ranger (250 favors)
Expertise is important. You'll be able to handle a little crazy.

>Get the mercenary Knight. (400 favors)
He's competent and honest... about how he works, at least. Who's going to be buying a contract against you, anyhow? Nobody even knows about you.

=======================
Hi guys
sorry, Wrath of the Righteous fucking *absorbed* me. It still does, frankly, but my shame won out. I'm really sorry I keep fucking doing this.

Why is it so dead these days? What happened?

>>5715270
Papa Spine hath returned!
Quickly get your bowls cereal before the Milk is gone!
>Get the ranger (250 favors)
Hopefully you've been alright out in the big scary world

>>5715270
>Get the ranger
Welcome back, QM!

>>5715270
>>Get Two-teeth.(100 favors)

>>5715296
In fairness it has been quite a while

>>5715270
>>Get the ranger (250 favors)
He'll be in good company at least.

>>5715270
>>Buy the twins (175 favors)
>Loyalty is worth a lot, you'll probably be able to get to where you need to be with them.

>>5715270
>Get the ranger (250 favors)
He'll fit right in with the rest of us.

Also, note to self: In order to avoid shame, never write anything good.

"Take the ranger. we need expertise, most of all. If he's crazy, so be it. We'll deal with it."
Paracelsus gives you a bit of a look, and she sighs afterwards.
"Alright. But you're the one responsible for him."

She turns back to the barman, and quickly hands over the money. The barman nods, and then asks her one more question. The response is quick from her, and after a short pause, she nods.
"Alright, that's it. He'll meet us outside the city, by a small grove. Pretty much where we already are hiding out with the changeling boy. Now then, we should probably get out of here before-"

You could hear their approach as she was saying it. You turn around, and see two big man standing before you. One is muscular... the other is huge in every way, though there's undeniably strength beneath the fat. They begin to say something in that usual language, and Paracelsus just sighs as she turns around.
"They heard us. These people are offering to act as guards in case we're attacked. And by "offering", they mean that if we don't pay them, they might show you the full reason as to why you would need help from them."
She rolls her eyes.
"I got lost in my words. What I mean is that they're going to beat us to death if we don't give them a hundred favors each." She adds, obviously completely and utterly unimpressed. She even gives you a little smile.
"You know, I haven't been in a physical fight in a good long while, and I'm keen to see how hard I can actually hit somebody. If things get bad, we can just breathe fire. It's a quick way to get people off of you, no?"

The men shout something, and Paracelsus even chuckles.
"They're getting *insistent*. What do you say, Reynauld? Because I'd LOVE to show them how much they're out of their league."

While her confidence is very attractive, you're not sure how out of their league these men really are. As you noted before, they are *big* men. You're no slouch either, but they have a head over Paracelsus, and she's wearing robes. These men are going to fight dirty, besides, you can tell.
You don't doubt you can beat them. You've beaten bloodsuckers to death with your bare hands, for crying out loud.
Really, you're just weighing up if doing so is worth the bruises and potential property damage from beating these men into a pulp, and while Paracelsus is strong, that doesn't always translate into combat prowess...

>Fight them. You can take them. You'll tell Paracelsus to stay back.

>Fight them. You can take them. You'll tell Paracelsus to fight with you.

>Walk past them, uncaringly.
Confidence is key.

>Breathe fire to establish dominance.

>Draw a weapon to establish dominance;

>Something else.

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>>5716587
>Draw a weapon to establish dominance
>Start growling and bread some fire from your mouth as a warming
>Don't forget to loot their bodies/corpses of valuables, even if they surrender.
If they want to fuck around, they're free to find out.

>>5716587
>Draw a weapon to establish dominance
>Start growling and bread some fire from your mouth as a warming
If they still wanna' tussle...
>Fight them. You can take them. You'll tell Paracelsus to fight with you.
>Rein in sadism so we don't go into another cannibalistic frenzy... or Sarah, for that matter
Fight like men, not beasts

>>5716587
>Walk past them, uncaringly.
These Scrubs aren't even on our level

>>5716587
>>Fight them. You can take them. You'll tell Paracelsus to fight with you.
it's like we're on a date

>>5716587
Backing >>5716673

>>5716587
How about we do the polite thing and try and fight them outside?
I vote for trying to get them to step outside to settle this.
Might establish good will since then we wouldn't be causing damage to the place.

Start smoldering that smoke out of our mouth on the way out.
If they don't back off, then breathe fire for dominance.
If that doesn't work, tag team them with Paracelsus.

>>5716587
Seconding >>5717193

>>5717391
>>5717193
yeah we should step outside first.

You don't want to fight these idiots, frankly. So, rather than clenching a fist, you instead grasp your sword and start growling. It's a deep, bassy grumble, besides... Not the sort of growl you could have done before your transformation, to the point that it's frankly kind of terrifying yourself. It's a grumble that comes from deep below, shaking your chest somewhat, and some smoke even rises from your mouth as you slowly unsheathe the blade.
Paracelsus, meanwhile, quietly says something in their language, as the smoke from your maw slowly turns into a flickering flame, dancing around your teeth.
The man seem... rather intimidated, and the smaller of the two raises his hands.
"Ahh? They're scared. One moment."

Paracelsus sticks out her hand with a wide, toothy grin. The men look ashamed, and one of them... places his pouch in her hands.
"That's more like it." Paracelsus says, laughing as she stashes it away. "Seems they realized their mistake. They're not ready to die for our money, after all."
"Isn't this a good way to make enemies?" You ask, though of course, you are talking about people that intended to beat you half to death with the intent of taking your money, so you're not exactly that worried about your optics. Frankly, considering where you're going, you doubt they can do anything about this.
"True. Come on." Paracelsus replies, not even elaborating on it as she walks out of the bar, almost skipping with joy as she takes out the pouch she put away just a few seconds ago to start counting.
"Oh-hooo... Yesss. This is perfect. About 32 favors, just from two idiots that thought they had an easy win!" She says to herself, before laughing again and putting it in her pocket. You can't help but give her a concerned look, but you really need to get out of this city first. You don't want to try your luck."

Fortunately, nothing else comes in to rob you, nor do you hear of any poor maidens being attacked by trolls or fairies or... whatever the hell else might come along to ruin your day. Finally, just getting outside, walking to a nearby bush, and seeing your guide... In a bit, anyhow.
It's probably going to take a little while, though...

It sure did! About half an hour later, you finally see the man that's intended to guide you to your next destination. A man wearing an all-green suit and having slung a bow around his torso. He looks to be in his early forties, has a long scraggly beard, and, more concerningly, completely black eyes that seem to have... stars in them.
Paracelsus looks a little disgusted as she talks to him, and when his stench wafts over to you and the rest of the group, it's a shared reaction. It's like something crawled in his beard and died... A little bit later, though, Paracelsus nods.
"It's him alright... Okay. He says we'll be able to hunt for our food, though we did buy enough rations to get to where we need to be. Frankly... Don't *ever* eat something that was made by fey. Any questions before... Suffer through the stench?"

>No. Just get moving already.

>A few questions, just so we don't get surprised down the line.

>>5718129
>>No. Just get moving already

Nothing I can think of.

Also happy Para is a cute Para. Even if it's because of money she got from counter-mugging muggers.

>>5718129
>>No. Just get moving already.
at least it will be easy to find him without a direct line of sight

>>5718129
>Two questions
Why are his eyes like that? What's with the stench?

>>5718129
>No. Just get moving already.
>be on the look out for loot and random encounters.

Hey Spine, will we ever get a shout out from your Michigan Fallout quest? Maybe a reference making an appearance? Perhaps one of Audrey's great^13 years ago descendant?

"We should just get moving." You say, not wanting to waste too much time here. PAracelsus says as much to the man, though it didn't take long for the Kobolts to start asking questions as well, though you suspect that it was Paracelsus that asked the most...
Pervasive question.
You can tell what she's asking from the tone of her voice, and guessing from the laughter from the ranger, it's not something he's shy about, either. She turns back to you, clearly displeased, as she explains:
"He says that the fae can smell cleanliness from a mile off, and that he smears his clothes in manure on occasion to keep them off his trail... At least, that's what he said at first. The next thing he said is that he also doesn't trust any water that he can't drink, and drinking water isn't bathing water... so he hasn't bathed in literal years. Mix that together with how he's considered raising mice in his beard, and I think it's not hard to figure out why, exactly, this man has a rather acidic smell."
She snorts, and regrets it when she is reminded that she's standing downwind from the guide.
"Agghh... He's... severely lacking in personal hygiene. To a downright malicious extent, if you ask me."

Esmeralda then asks the next question of importance.
"What's up with his eyes?"
That one didn't requires a question, as Paracelsus knew the answer.
"It means he's Feytouched. He spent enough time with fey to be forever marked, and it's likely the reason he's a little bit crazy. It means he can also see things that we can't see, which is a blessing and a curse. Apparently, for instance, Reynauld here is incredibly bright to look at. Conversely, I am constantly enveloped by a faint mist with golden sparkles in it, which is something I don't mind, frankly... though I suspect it means his eyesight is a bit lacking. Hard to see in the distance if one sees dancing pink elephants everywhere, no?"
Chad then, of course, asks what an elephant is. You can answer that:
"A mighty beast of war, in the right hands, though the creatures themselves are honestly more docile than anything else. They're akin to giant walking fortresses... If they aren't driven mad from war, they're very gentle creatures. Ones to respect."

The crusade had all types.
Sadly, the elephants didn't make it to the end, and perished to the last.
At any rate, once you get going, it's almost comparatively relaxing. Just being on the road, and being told where to go, makes it a lot easier to travel. You even avoid several problems by taking the guide's route, meaning the first day of travel is done without incident. After the amount of travel you've recently done, it's quite easy.
There's just the issue...

From here, you'll be going into the fey woods. Even the paths here are dodgy, and your cart is... just not made for it. Too many trees, too little space, and according to the guide, leaving tracks means they might steal the soles of your shoes and thus the souls of your bodies.
Leaving Tom-8-O's behind is out of the question, but the cart may have to be abandoned.

>Abandon the cart
You'll be able to pack up all rations in backpacks and the like. You don't really *need* the cart... it's just bloody useful.

>Force the cart.
It won't be easy, and it'll slow you down, but going without portable shelter and transport is troublesome otherwise.

>Enchant it?
This is... Not likely to work out for you, but... Maybe? You think magic might attract unwanted attention, though.

>>5719949
>Enchant it?
Can we shrink it down, and grow it back to full size later? Just the first enchantment that came to mind. If not,
>Abandon the cart

>>5719949
>>Enchant it?
>This is... Not likely to work out for you, but... Maybe? You think magic might attract unwanted attention, though.
have Celsie do it since she's better at this than we are.

>>5719949
>>Force the cart.
>It won't be easy, and it'll slow you down, but going without portable shelter and transport is troublesome otherwise.

>>5719949
>>Abandon the cart
Sounds like more trouble than it's worth, though we should probably have anticipated this and tried to sell it at least.

>>5719949
>Abandon the cart

We can make due.

>>5719949
>Enchant it?
Alternatively...
Is there a limit on the size of things Chester can eat?

>>5719949
Enchant to change size.
If that doesn't work, abandon it.

>>5720107
I forgot to add, if we abandon it, shove as much shit as possible in our mimic.

>>5720115
what if we shrunk it down and then had chesty eat it?

>>5719949
>Force the cart.
It IS bloody useful, and we have the elbow grease to take it with us. If Paracelcus already knew a way to get it through with magic, then it would be worth doing so, but now is not the time to experiment.

"Okay, I don't really want to leave the cart behind, frankly. It's really useful to just have something with a roof available at any time." You say, tilting your head at the problem. You've already removed Tom-8-O from the cart, of course, and started tossing whatever you could into Chester, who is a voracious little pack, that's for sure. Still, there are a few things that don't fit inside of him very easily, mostly just because of his mouth not being big enough. No matter how big the mimic's belly is, the mouth is always going to be a problem. So...
"Can we... use some magic?" You say to Paracelsus, and her response is to scoff.

"Ugh... I suppose. But I don't know how we would best go about it. I'd enchant the wheels, sure, but that won't really help us very much, will it? If enough trees are too close together..."
"So... What if we shrink the cart?" You propose, instead.

Pink is the one that brings up the problem:
"Then how is it gonna store anything? Isn't that the point of the cart, dragon?" She says, tiling her head and smiling politely. You pat her on the head, which makes her tremble a little bit from excitement as she squeals at a frequency that might make dogs start to howl, before you answer the question:
"Temporarily. Just so it can fit inside Chester. Once we're out of the forest, we can pull it back out and... unshrink it, I suppose."

Paracelsus looks at you for a moment, ready to complain, only for her to... not do that. She lowers her finger, and then says:
"Well... hmm. I haven't tried shrinking anything yet, but... Well, it would be useful, and it's an experiment I can get behind, really. It's not going to be easy, and... well, we might atrract some attention from a fey, but I think it might be worth it in the long run. It's going to depend on how good our magic is, frankly.
"Our?"
"I'm not doing this alone. Come on, you big lug, we'll do it together." She says, rolling up her sleeves and revealing her beautiful, golden and muscular arms. God, you love this woman. You smile for a moment, and then turn to the cart.

"I'll follow your lead." You say, as you imitate her movements, but she quickly shakes her head:
"Don't do that. Do what you think is right. It's all about belief, not so much about having one particular way to do things. Now, come on, lets see how we can manage."

>Go on gut instinct.

>Try to find a logic and stick to it.

>Follow along to the lady that knows what she's doing

>roll a dice, lmao

>>5723054
>Try to find a logic and stick to it.
We tend to play Reynauld as a systematic, organized kind of guy, when he's sane and not in the thick of a killing spree.

>>5723054
>>Try to find a logic and stick to it.
Has Reynauld looked the wrong way through a telescope before? Try to imagine the feeling of watching something shrink like that

>>5723054
>>Follow along to the lady that knows what she's doing

we have our strengths she has hers and I am inclined to let our lady lover lead on this one

>>5723054
>Try to find a logic and stick to it.
Gotta understand it on personal level

>>5723054
>>5723250
>Try to find a logic and stick to it.
It's a matter of perspective, right? Like how the further away something is, the smaller it looks? Maybe if we somehow reverse that process, like instead of the cart appearing to shrink with distance, it would stay in one place and shrink for real?

"Okay... Okay... Just... Think about it..." You say to yourself, trying to think of a "logical" way you can imagine something shrinking down. It's not as easy as it sounds, of course, because as you figure it, it should have a sort of... "direction". It can't just *pop* from one size to the other, you need to think of how things usually get bigger or larger. For a moment, you thought about how somebody grows from a baby to a man, but... in reverse. You quickly shake away that idea, though, as you're more likely to age the cart into dust... or maybe a tree. Instead, you need to think of another way. Adjusting it with tools also makes sense, but that's just a shortcut to making a mess, you bet. You need to reduce the size, not slice away the wood you might still need. So, instead... you think you have it.
Distance.

You make two L's with your fingers, closing them together into a rectangle, and close an eye. Then, you start moving backwards while your kobolts watch in bemusement.
"He's gonna do it!" Pink says, excited.
"Dragon's gonna do magic!" Collar says, equally excited.
"I hope he does magic on me~..." Esmeralda says... Excited as well, you suppose. She's been quite a bit more reserved over the last weeks, but you suppose she still has her elements. Though she does follow it up with: "I wanna be *super* tall!"
Ah, saying it weird just came natural to her. Distractions aside, however, you..... *imagine* yourself stepping backwards. Legs on the ground, but magically, the cart is getting further and further away. Perhaps you're floating or something, but you need to pay a lot of attention to keep this going.
You feel something akin to bloodletting as it happens, albeit without the pain. Something is being pulled out of you, and it honestly still feels like it's coming from your veins. For a moment, you see stars... and then, you stop.

The cart is quite far away now, and when you drop your hands, you see you're still where you stood... but the cart remains small.
"Oh! Good." You say, and Paracelsus even claps, slowly. "Very good... You found a way to make it work. I had to pump in a lot of my own power, but something tells me size changes are a bit... difficult."
You nod, you feel a bit tired as well, and you think you started sweating at some point... Your guide is also drooling a little as she stares at the much smaller cart. After a bit more time, Chester then proceeds to eat to the small cart with a quick leap.

Then, it's time to get moving! You could get used to this magic stuff.
"Yeah, you should!" A small, squeaky voice suddenly says from... nowhere. "I like your stuff, friend. Weird language you have, though."
Oh good. Mystery voices.
"Ya-huh! Hope you like it! You're a spellcaster in a fae forest... Get used to it."

>Call out that you have a fairy in your ear

>Sigh and try to magic the voice out.

>Ignore it. She'll probably just try to taunt you.

>>5725466
>Call out that you have a fairy in your ear

>>5725466
>Talk to the mystery voice
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't magic you out of my head right this second."

Out of curiosity, Spine, did you have your own magic logic prepared, or were you just planning to see what we would come up with?

>>5725466
>>Call out that you have a fairy in your ear

nope fuck the fae

>>5725466
>>Call out that you have a fairy in your ear
Just casually mention it to Sara and describe what you're experiencing.
Don't try to get rid of it until we're out of the forest, that might be very counterproductive.

>>5725466
>Ignore it. She'll probably just try to taunt you.
What could possibly go wrong ignoring a fae

>>5725538
+1

>>5725504
The problem with the fae is that you do not fuck the fae. The fae fuck YOU. Even if you think you've fucked them, you haven't. You just haven't noticed HOW they fucked you.

It talked to us, we're already too late.

>>5725466
>Call out that you have a fairy in your ear
>>5725538

"I have a fairy in my ear." You say, before quickly adjusting what you just said: "Not literally, but she is whispering things to me, and I can't see her."
Paracelsus' response is to sigh. She's clearly very annoyed by this revelation, guessing from how she turns the sigh into a groan.
"Damn it... That means our magic use attracted their attention... Alright, it's earlier than anybody would have liked, but I'll inform our guide."

The other kobolds, however, are quick to mention it as well.
"Actually, I hear something talk to me too!" Teensy says. "I thought I was just making it up or something."
"Me too!" Collar adds. "I just thought Teensy was pranking me!"
Esmeralda and William also heard something, though Pink, is the most concerning amongst them.
"Dragon... I've been hearing about FIVE of them yakking in my ear, mostly talking about how old I am, and how they'd like to "borrow my pretty pink scales". In that same... wording. Repeatedly..."

You don't hide how concerned you are for a second:
"Why didn't you say anything!? That's horrible!" You ask, kneeling down next to her.
"You were concentrating, dragon, I did not want to interrupt. Magic is a dangerous thing, after all... You might have shrunk yourself or something! A dragon shouldn't be the same size as their servants..."
She crosses her arms, and you can tell she's kind of upset about this. "They kept telling me that if I interrupted you, you'd be smaller than us, even."
Oh great.

The guide, meanwhile, is sounding rather agitated when he is told about the fairy issues, and Paracelsus is calmly listening to the man scream and shout different directions, while he pulls on his hair... In a rhythmic manner. Left side, right side, like a metronome.
Paracelsus then translates:
"We are to ignore *everything* they tell us. Don't try to figure out truth from lies, it's better not to even try. And if you want to be rid of them, you need to think, and I quote, "boring thoughts". Keep things rhythmic and steady. Try to think of the most boring song you've ever heard and keep ticking along with it... Or meditate, but that's going to be hard to do while we're travelling."

Esmeralda then says:
"But... she wants to help me make art. Fairies are good for art, right?"
The guide sounds a little more agitated than before, and Paracelsus explains that it's because we're standing still after already catching the Eye of the Forest, which Paracelsus assumes to be a metaphor for the fae at large.
"It's a simple trip for now, we need to follow the pathway here. The path will disappear a few hours in, but for right now... maybe talk to the kobolds. No offence to any of them, but they might need a little help to not listen to the fae."

The voice starts talking again. High-pitched and annoying.
"Pffft. Listen to how *BORING* they are! Listen! You can get thorugh the forest a lot faster if you're *interesting*, you know!! It's up to us. Either you bore us to death, and we let you through to be rid of you, or you do us a solid and get out, like, twice as fast!"
She giggles to herself.
You'll ignore it.

>Talk to the kobolds to help them ignore the fae

>Find a way to clear the fae from your head

> Perform another action to ensure this trip goes smoothly.

>>5729112
>Perform another action to ensure this trip goes smoothly.
Boring song, eh? We've already attracted fae attention, might as well march through the forest to the tune of "99 Bottles of Beer". I'm sure the 'bolts won't say no to a singalong.

>>5729133
Seconding mundane -but-heartwarming family singalong.

>>5729112

>>5729112
>>5729133
you brilliant fucker, this is perfect let's do it, we should also tell our kobolts to think the lyrics as well as singing them out loud

also FUCK listening to a single fucken thing these fae say, we are IGNORING THEM, and ensuring OUR KOBOLTS do the same.

>>5729112
>Talk to the kobolds to help them ignore the fae

>>5729112
>>5729133
Also this. This should work.

>>5729133
Hahaa, that was my immediate thought as well. That or some rendition of "The wheels on the cart go 'round and 'round."

>>5729112
Supporting this:
>>5729514
>>5729133
We shall have a singalong

>>5729133
>>5729167
>>5729514
Supporting.
I for one can't wait for fairies driven insane by children's songs.

"So, a boring song?" You ask, and Paracelsus nods.
"I don't think it's actually literal, but... I think it's a good way to get the idea across. Something constant, like a metronome. A song naturally tends towards that."
Hmm... This calls for a celebration.

"Say, little friends of mine." You say, raising your voice, and making the chatter quiet down. "I think it's time that we band together to sing a little ditty!"
"Singing!?" Esmeralda says, excitedly. "I never get to sing!"
"Oh yes. It's going to be a little marching song I learned during the crusades. It's primary purpose... was to annoy the heck out of our commanding officers. It lasts as long as you want, and it's never about sounding good. It's about sounding bad together!"
A collective confusion amongst the kobolts, and the fairy in your head says:
"Don't you *dare*. You wouldn't! You CAN'T!!"

"So, let's start, I'll sing the first line, and you guys can follow along!"

You clear your throat, grin almost ear to ear, and sing the traditional song of drunkards everywhere:
"Five-hundred bottles of beer on the wall, Five hundred bottles of beer!"
You could hear a pin drop as you let it breathe for a moment, and the fairy whispers:
"Of course you realize, this means war."
"YOU TAKE ONE DOWN, AND PASS IT AROUND, FOUR HUNDRED NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!!" You basically shout, and while it agitates the guide at first... when the others join in with you, he seems to understand.
Paracelsus, however, is rubbing her temples as you walk, while you and the kobolts go down a rather long list of beer bottles. The song barely matters after only a short while, it just turned into a game to keep on singing as long as possible. You're pleased to hear Anna knows a few extra lines to add to it, mostly regarding different brands of beer, and sometimes she moves into different types of alcohol. She has to push Chad to keep up with her in this... and she also reveals a small bottle that she almost certainly snatched from the drinks that you hid for the barkeeper.

The fairy, after crying about how stupid you look, has gone quiet a while ago. Excellent. You still keep singing, and you're down to the last thirty bottles of beer on the wall. Paracelsus has decided to just stuff cotton in her ears, to limited success, and you think that you've won this round.
Honestly, you felt pretty good about things for quite a while. That was, up until you suddenly hear William scream "DUCK!" and years of military training led to you doing exactly that.
You hear the distinct trill of an arrow striking the tree next to you, shows that this was a good idea. Using the arrow as a pointer, you look the other way... and spot the source.
An archer, quite a distance from you... Already running away through the trees.
"And who the hell is this dead man?" You say to yourself.

>Chase after him

>Doubletime it through the fairy forest

>Keep moving as per normal, but make sure everybody is ready to blast him to kingdom come.

>>5732122
>>Keep moving as per normal, but make sure everybody is ready to blast him to kingdom come
He's there to make us get lost. Don't take the bait.

>>5732122
>>Keep moving as per normal, but make sure everybody is ready to blast him to kingdom come.
> Advise everyone to stay on the path do a head count and start over at 500 bottles of beer on the wall

This is 100% a trick of the forest

>>5732122
>Keep moving as per normal, but make sure everybody is ready to blast him to kingdom come

>>5732122
>Keep moving as per normal, but make sure everybody is ready to blast him to kingdom come.
Deception and trickery are the main weapons of the fae. Let's not fall for it.

>>5732122
>Keep moving as per normal, but make sure everybody is ready to blast him to kingdom come.
>commence rollcall
A head count is a good idea

"Everyone, weapons at the ready!" You call out, and Chad is quick to take out his blade and turn to where the bowman was, but you put a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't chase anything in these woods! I want everyone to just be ready to blast that assassin in half as soon as he shows his ugly mug again!"
"Yes dragon!!" The kobolts yell in unison. The twins look particularly wired at the moment, and Snikt is serving as the main watchman... Paracelsus and the guide, meanwhile, are in a heated discussion, which Pink is listening to very closely.

"Do you understand them? You ask the pretty pink kobolt, knowing how smart she is the answer could be yes.

"No." She replies "I'm still learning how it works. They're talking about the assassin though... Some words are similar to the ones were speaking."

The conversation is clearly a frustrating one, and eventually Paracelsus throws up her hands and turns to you.
"This crazy bastard says that archer isn't a fae trick, while also claiming he met that archer before, and *also* that the fae have used archers in the past. Net zero information, all in all."
Paracelsus sighs, and you put a hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry, we're ready for that archer now. Could you join me on role call?"

She could!
Snikt, present
Pink, present
Sapphire, present
Ruby, present
Anna, present
Chad, present
Petrus and Displays, present
Esmeralda...

"Esmeralda!?" You call out again.
No no no!
"ESME!?" you call out, your worry exploding in near-panic.
Then, Paracelsus nudges you. The guide...
"The guide help us find her again, he says, but... He says we should be ready. Well be going off road. He doesn't want to leave anybody in the clutches of fae, especially not cotton-weaver's... No mention of who or *what* that is."

Damn it... How did Esme even get out of your sight like that!?

>Follow the guide
He knows what to do here... He was a great choice

>Rely on Snikt and Anna's tracking skills

> Find that archer asap and make the bastard talk.

>>5736269
>Follow the guide

>>5736269
>>Follow the guide
Yes

>>5736269
>Follow the guide
This is what we're paying the man for, after all. Also, for goodness sake, finish that rollcall.

"Damn damn damn... Alright! Finish Rollcall! Follow the guide!" You call out, and you go over the other names. Fortunately, one by one, they all confirm their presence. How the hell did you lose Esmeralda!? Even if you weren't paying attention, Snikt was, Chad was, Pink certainly was. How did it happen!? Did she just disappear off the face of the earth!? There's a trail, so there has to have been *something*. God damn it.
"I am not losing her." You say, resolute. Both as a promise and as an order to yourself. Chad has unsheathed his sword a while ago, and concurs.
"If anybody hurts the klan, I will rip them apart!" He says. It's said as a fact, not as a threat. Fortunately, the guide is moving quite quickly, and apart from stopping a few times to start sniffing... Though, he stops at one point, and turns to Paracelsus to say something.
Paracelsus translates:

"He says here that this happened because Esmeralda agreed to something. Something a Fae said... We can get her back, still, but... it's how she got away from us. She didn't get grabbed, and she got some help."
"What!? I specifically... Damn it."
"The fae don't need much of a reason to take you along. They likely twisted her words into an agreement. Still, we can counter it... By force, if need be. Also, we're walking right into a faemoot."
"A what!?"
"You've been to a nobleman's reception before, right? It's like that... Down to the pompous idiots thinking they're better than everybody else. Only this time, they've got magic on their side, and lots of it."

Paracelsus sounds uncharacteristically nervous. She's speaking through gritted teeth, not that you can see that past her mask. She put it on a while ago.
The guide, by the way, is actually calmer than before. His voice losing some of that shrillness, and his gaze turning more and more steady.
Right...

Then, you see what you're dealing with, from behind some bushes. It really is some kind of court... There's little balls of light zipping around everywhere, people with the legs of goats playing panflutes, and even what looks like... werewolves? No, wolves that walk like men, but not werewolves. Werewolves don't drink tea with an outstretched pinkie.
But, at the centre of this frivolous party, you see Esme, hanging upside down in some kind of shimmering cocoon. She's conscious, and to her credit, keeping rather calm.
"My dragon's gonna GET you! And you'll ALL be sorry!"
Then, to your surprise, you hear more words in your language!
"Ohhh, but that's why you're *here*, riiiight!? Because you looooove hiiiiim." One of the little balls of light says, though once they stop zipping around, you see it's actually a small woman with little butterfly wings.
"NO! I know my place! I love my dragon, but I didn't agree to anything!"
"But you *did* tell me you'd "like to see me try", didn't you!? Soooo, here we are! I'm showing you my best try, and so I brought you to the King of the Forest!"

"Oh no." Paracelsus says, sounding genuinely distraught at hearing that. "This isn't just some moot. This is a faecourt."
The guide turns back to you, and speaks... once more, in your language as well.
"Words have lost meaning, friend." The man says. "But meaning is all there is. As long as we are here, we can all understand eachother. I am no fighter... but the King is a nasty beast indeed. More than likely, he has already seen us."
You look around for anything that might fit the description of "Forest King", but apart from a big oak tree that is being fed porridge by a hare standing on its hind legs, nothing seems big of ghastly enough to be worthy of the title.

Up until you hear a faint thrumming... and thin, multicoloured strands of gossamer seem to float down from the trees. As the sunlight shines through the wires, you then shudder when you see a gigantic, spiky and yellow leg tap against the oak tree. Followed by another... and another.
Small holes can be seen in the leg, though it's undeniable that there is a great power in them. More and more legs. It had bent legs with great knobbed joints that were located high above its back, which went high indeed. Her legs had hairs that stuck out like steel spines and had a claw at each of their lower ends. You hear some disturbed squeaks from the party as the head of the creature appears. Bright golden eyes seem to shine every which way, as the head is taken up by nothing but those eyes, and a drooling, gaping maw, dribbling a strange liquid that has the same properties as the gossamer, changing colours in the light,, and sparkling so beautifully.
It's not enough to let you forget about the gigantic mandibles. The two little, entirely human, arms right underneath it, as well, seem to cup the constantly dribbling liquid, and seem to delight in tossing it around, causing rainbows to appear in the light, a start contrast to the horrific appearance of the beast.

More legs as it keeps clambering down. The creature is the size of a damned house, its gigantic abdomen coming into sight as its eight legs almost seem to struggle carrying it. At the tip is a gigantic stinger, though you see a faint line coming out of it, which the balls of light are eagerly flitting around, sometimes standing still long enough to reveal they're spinning dresses on themselves from what must be some kind of spinneret.
The back of the creature carried no spikes, and seemed unnaturally smooth, visible even from a distance. A faint glow comes from it's thick underbelly, and it's only at this distance that you can see that the light shimmers and changes on its back, constantly... Often in the shape of a face.
A face that cannot be called that of a man, or animal, or even monster. It simply... *is*. It constantly changes.
The eyes of the multicolored apparition stare into your soul, and you force yourself to look away.

The fairies and satyrs begin to play ever louder, in reverance of this creature, and then the monster speaks. It's voice is thick and nasally... It sounds as though it was swimming in thick milk as it spoke:
"Ahhh, welcome, dearest guests of mine. Hath thee come to ask for mine favor? Or... To see what mirth one could extract from the little creature before me? This spindle-shanked Starveling is no feast, for certain... Or perhaps, our hidden guests would prefer to speak out on its behalf?
Come come... My dearest Berenguer. The eyes I plucked still serve me well... The eyes I granted thee hath led you me, no doubt.. I haven't even had time to speak to the scalehide."

The creature's human arms point to two eyes that aren't gold, instead bulging out of their sockets. Dark brown... too small for the spider's great head.

"But, I sense thee cometh in the name of another... A new smell... A new look. What manner of creature are thee, lord of lizards, bedder of birds, master of the Eyeless Ranger? May I have your name?"
You are being talked to directly, though the rest of the court seems confused. They don't know in what direction to look, either... The misshapen creature's eyes looks in every direction at once, after all.

>Don't bother with this frivolity. Take your shotgun out and blast the abomination.

>I am Reynauld. I've come to retrieve Esmeralda.
Best remain polite...

>Release Esmeralda or I shall bring death and destruction upon your filthy hides!
No need to pretend you're here for anything else.

>Release your instincts. Burn this place to the ground for their crime.
Esmeralda is YOURS. How DARE they take her!

>Something else.

>>5738041
>I am Reynauld. I've come to retrieve Esmeralda.
No reason not to be polite about it, especially because we might go 0-100 on this thing really quickly if we don't get her back in a timely manner and it's best to try and avoid going Dragon Mode as long as we can.
But more importantly, Esmerelda belongs to us which means she can't agree to anything on her own behalf. She can only ask us to agree to it for her. Nor can the other Kobolts.

>>5738112
Supporting. Sound logic, which while we might not PERSONALLY agree with is EXACTLY the sort of loophole-happy thinking a fairy might appreciate.

>>5738041

>>5738112
>>5738127
Hold up Time Out!
Are we forgetting a fundamental Fae fact, never tell them your fucking name!

>>5738041
Spinejuice, do these fae have the ability to enchant, lure, etc. you if they know your name?
This is real fucking important.
Do they have to know your full name?

>>5738041
>>Release Esmeralda or I shall bring death and destruction upon your filthy hides!

give the Fae zero room to fuck us with tricks we are not going to out-talk a fae, but we can fuck him over if we are direct and implacable.

any mind game you think of will fail, and trick you try will be turned a round, our best AND ONLY option as I see it is the direct and violent approach

>>5738112

>"My kind are new, and I have taken the description of Dragonkin. (I think that's what we decided to rename ourselves? Or was it Dragonborn or something? Whatever we said way back, that name, please.) Because of such, I am attached to my name, and I so will be keeping it. If you seek a name to use to refer to me in these sacred grounds, then 'Drakhaun' will do. And I come to retrieve the 'scalehide' known as Esmeralda, whole and unharmed."


>>5738127
Vetoing.

Rule One of the Fae: NEVER tell them your name. "May I have your name?" is a LITERAL REQUEST. As in 'May I use your name (and YOU will no longer be known, remembered, or called such?)

>>5738183
The problem with that description is that we don't know how strong THIS setting's Fae are. Like, are they fuckoff powerful and can warp reality on a whim like the worst classical fae? (which frankly, it's looking like) Or are they just weird looking fuckers that speak contract legalese as a first language and otherwise are just very good with illusions? If they're the former and we offend them they could just erase us.

>>5738168
>Are we forgetting a fundamental Fae fact, never tell them your fucking name!
Fair, fair.

>>5738184
You, uh, can't 'veto' me, but I'll go head and change my vote slightly to:

>>5738041
>"I am the Dragonkin Knight from across the sea, come here to retrieve my charge. She belongs to me, you see, which means she can't agree to anything on her own behalf."

>>5738184
Ok yes I agree with not giving them our name.

>>5738041
>>5738214
Support
>"I am the Dragonkin Knight from across the sea, come here to retrieve my charge. She belongs to me, you see, which means she can't agree to anything on her own behalf."

>>"I am the Dragonkin Knight from across the sea, come here to retrieve my charge. She belongs to me, you see, which means she can't agree to anything on her own behalf."


I am still against trying to out smart the fae, but...that just might work. It's still a terribly risky idea but not without merit I will grant you that.

"I am the Dragonkin Knight from across the sea, come here to retrieve my charge. She belongs to me, you see, which means she can't agree to anything on her own behalf." You say, loudly, as you step out of the bushes. The court, which was rather loud before, suddenly turns rather quiet, and you can tell that trying to outsmart these people is not something that believe.
"Truly? Feeble cursed one!" The creature of many legs says, its voice taking on a harsher, meaner tone. "The test shall prove thine truthfulness." It then says, and guessing from its tone, it figures it's going to win.
"Scalehide. Little one. Dearest Esmeralda. Do you belong to the man that has stolen your heart? The one that you so love, yet sees you as little more than property? Are you a woman, or a slave?"
"I..." Esmeralda begins to say, only for a golden, shimmering light to appear around her throat, with a high-pitched violin playing as the light turns more and more solid.
"Speak nothing that is not true. Or the collar shall choke the truth out of you... Or snap your pretty neck. Speak true. Show your beloved what you think. Truly think."

Esmeralda clutches the golden collar, and you hear her gasping for air, making your blood boil. Without thinking, your hand reaches for your blade.
"Such greed!" A pixie says.
"He's so angry!"
"Dumb little lizard man!"
Their barbs actually remind you of what you're doing, fortunately, and you stop. They seem disappointed their taunts didn't make things worse, and you listen closely to Esmeralda.
"I... B-belong to... H-him! I belong to Reynauld!"
"To the point you have no free will, hmm?" The spiked, hairy monster says. "Are you naught but an automaton? D you live only to serve and die? Do your feelings not matter!?"
"T-they... D-do! But... I belong... T-to him!"
The collar is squeezing her tight.
"I am... He... l-lets me... speak. Lets me dream. B-but... T-the Klan is his!"

"Are you your clan?" The spider says...And you can tell it's getting frustrated.
"The klan is... E-every... Kobolt! I am a kobolt! I know my place! M-my dragon... S-speaks... F-for me!! I LOVE HIM! I love him so much! But I know my place!"
"Speak.. .THE TRUTH!" The spider says, clearly fishing for something that helps it. "What would you do for love!? Is love naught but slavery for you!?"
She is brought closer and closer to the creature.
"I... I w-wish... I was... L-like... S-snikt! I wish I was... L-like my dragon! I wish... I... H-he could... Love me, like he loves P-para..CC-el..gggkk."

You walk closer.
"You've LOST! She is telling you the truth, now stop choking her!" You demand. "The truth is not what you demand it to be, you filthy abomination!!"
The spider's eyes all turn to you. Even the swirling, glowing "face" on its back.

"Your slave wishes to have more, "Dragon"... Will you deny that!? We can make her beautiful, if... *you* permit it." He spits when he says "you". Clearly incredibly disappointed and enraged he can't do as he likes to Esmeralda, who is suddenly taking in large, desperate gulps of air. The collar must have loosened up, and she is brought down, slowly, to be put on the feasting table instead.

"Will you deny such a beautiful creature the chance to be as pretty on the outside as it is on the inside, "Dragonkin"? Are you truly so cruel a slavemaster? We grant her beauty, for only a small price." It says, its voice turning smoother, less disturbing. More fairies float around you.
"We could make her tall!"
"Make her human!"
"Make her dragonkin!"
"Make her like you!"
"Make her like your mate!"
"Make her as she deserves to be."

You sniff, and just walk towards Esmeralda, walking alongside the feasting table before you grab Esmeralda's hand.
"Did they hurt you?" You ask, carefully, and Esmeralda's response is to shake her head... and look away, clearly ashamed.
"N-no... I'm sorry, dragon. F-for such... d-dreams."
"It's fine, come on. We need to get out of here."

The little lightballs get angry, and some of the goatmen stop playing their flutes, as well.
"HEY!"
"Don't ignore the King of the Forest!"
"Who do you think you are!?"
"ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

The King then speaks.
"A small boon for us, and we can make her beautiful. Make her wise. Make her strong! You are a slayer of men and monster. Slay something we wish, and your slave shall become as a queen!"
You wonder if anybody falls for these things... But...
Esmeralda is covering her eyes, clearly distraught.

...

>Leave, without saying a word.

>You can't risk what these things will do if insulted. As soon as Esme is safe, breathe fire and unleash hell.

>Ask them what they want dead, and see if you can't do that job in order to be left alone.

>>5740680
>Ask them what they want dead, and see if you can't do that job in order to be left alone.
>Also, reassure Esmerelda that she's already beautiful just the way she is
Hell, in the barely-different lewd timeline, we creampied her already

>>5740680
>"She needs no improvement, in my eyes. She is fetching as she is. However, I will hear your request. Should it prove agreeable, I will see to it as a favor. Clanmaster to Forest Lord."

Probably a risky bet but I think if he wants us to kill something so badly there's a 50/50 chance it'll fuck us over or be a threat to us in the future regardless so might as well get some reputation out of it, which will go further than simple 'kill for beauty' transactions.

If that doesn't work, I'll just back >>5740732.

Like >>5740732 said, we've semi-objectively shown that her looks are good enough for us. Her goal is to attract us, not be pretty for her own sake.

>>5740680
>>Leave, without saying a word.
This, but we're singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall.
We'll add Esmerelda's possible transformation to our to-do list, but we shan't make a deal with someone who relies on trickery.

>>5740825
Adding support to this.
We carry and hug her through through the rest of the forest.
Then we talk outside of it.

>>5740680
>Leave, without saying a word.
The fae fight through words. Do not engage them where they are strong.

>>5740854
>>5740825
Support

we need to touch base with all our Kobolts more, we had no idea Esmi felt that we didn't love her as much as the rest damn

>>5741150
Anon, she doesn't feel uniquely unloved. She wants to be uniquely LOVED. She has romantic and sexual feelings for us. She wants us to be IN love with her.

>>5741319
clearly not something that will happen given we went with our corvid themed doctor as our lover. and something we will need to figure out how to deal with in time.

>>5741408
Keep in mind she isn't the only one. Based on the non-canon orgy and on how she interacts with us, Pink ALSO seems to harbour some unrequited romantic feelings. Being 200 years old or whatever, she's just more measured and contained in her expectations and in how she expresses it. What we know from that branching timeline, and what Reynauld DOESN'T, is that if we were ever dosed with aphrodisiacs she'd be making a beeline for our dick. Meanwhile, WITHOUT aphrodisiacs and in-canon... Well, we used to call Esme "Humper" for a reason.

>>5741438
point stands friend, we made our choice, the kobolts are just gonna stay thirsty, we should definitely figure out how to deal with that and let em down easy

>>5741449
Oh, agreed. I mean... I guess polyamory's an option, technically, but I doubt Reynauld or canon-Sarah would be down for that. I mean, MAYBE Sarah with how she reacted in the other timeline and with how, uh, UNINHIBITED she's been behaving since her transformation began, but Reynauld is still very straight-laced for that kind of lifestyle methinks.

>>5741453
I definitely worry about how her personality has been effected by her change, granted it's probably just dragon instincts making her more attached to our MC since we are her mate, but still something I think we should keep an eye on.

but no even with her changes I don't think she would want to share dragon instincts and all that, aside from that the non-cannon timeline is again none cannon and can play a bit more fast and lose with the characters

Just as an aside, I wonder if Reynauld could maybe vividly picture Esmeralda as a Dragonkin?
Maybe vividly enough that they could maybe try a hand at transformation? We'd probably need to start with something other than living subjects, and then move on to say, rats and mice, then the odd bandit we were going to kill anyway, then maybe William (he would probably want to be less bolty if given the option, but still bolty enough to shack up with the twins)

>>5741740
I have SEVERE misgivings about trying out transformation magic on living things.

>>5741752
not without YEARS of practice first

>>5741772
We're functionally immortal and so are our kobolts, that's less of a problem than you might imagine.

>>5742256
I think kobolts are just long-lived. Also, if we keep dabbling with magic of such a fundamental nature, don't we run the risk of becoming quasi-wizardly in mindset? oh,w e might not go MAD per se, but I fear we'll lose our humanity more quickly. And experimenting on living test subject?s in order to enable what is essentially an elaborate plastic surgery for our friend who has a crush on us, just so we can shoot her down anyway? I dunno'. Sounds like something more evil or amoral dragons would do, and there's a reason we hunt those guys.

>>5742273
my understanding is that nobody really knows if they are immortal or not because hardly any of them of them die naturally.

You remain quiet, not answering the fae, and instead you whisper to Esmeralda.
"Let's get out of here, okay? You're safe now"
"M'sorry... I know I'm gross."
"Shush... You never were. You can't choose what you fall for."
She squeaks, and then goes silent, but as you reach the edge of the festivities.... You hear the ugly, many-eyed thing speak again, his voice showing clear displeasure.

"Does the dragonkin think he can take our entertainment so easily? Your apathy for the scalehide is apparent."
The creature sounds like it has more to say, but you step out of the clearing and into...
The clearing.

Only you're now on the other side. You see that ugly creature from behind, now, and many Pixies begin to laugh
"He thought he can leave!?"
"It's a party!! You can't leave!"
"And you made the king really maaaaad!!!"
More giggling.

You glare at the gigantic monster, and it speaks once more.
" Come, Dragonkin... I insist you join the festivities! Drink... Eat... Amuse us and yourself!"

Esmeralda quickly says:
"Don't eat or drink anything! You'll be in debt to them for it"

More pixies
"Party pooper!"
"Spoilsport!
"The kings gonna eat ya, scalehide!"

The king, however, just laughs.
"You leave if I desire it. Now... Amuse me. Invite your friends if you wish them to enter this party. But we will party until all mine eyes are closed

Considering there's so many eyes.... That's going to be hard

>attack him
Enough of this farce. You're killing this abomination!

>Find a way to entertain him
Something clever... Or something really dumb

>Some other trick

>>5744243
>>Find a way to entertain him
>Something clever... Or something really dumb
499 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL
499 BOTTLES OF BEER
TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 498 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL

>>5744253
also, just a thought, shoot flame with every B and P, into the air at first, but getting progressively more careless as we go.

>>5744243
>Ask Paracelsus and the ranger for advice
Let's consult our native guides, shall we? I'm inclined towards violence, but they'll know if that will work.

>>5744243
>Find a way to entertain him
Have one of the kobolts share some of their knowledge with the fae. Something like Collar reciting the contents of that dictionary she once ate, or Pink giving a lecture on the intricacies of the Dwarven financial system.

>>5744471
That is a terrible idea, any trick we pull will fuck us over.

>>5744273
support consulting with the gang is probably for the best.

>>5744253
I could also get behind this

>>5744243
>>Find a way to entertain him
Regale them with every marching song from your time in the crusades, and or the tales if every march to a battle, but never the story of the battles themself

...crap. With nothing else to do, you look to your guide and your girlfriend and ask:
"What now?"

Paracelsus cuts to the chase however.
"Probably violence. Only once his eyes are closed will you be permitted to leave, as he puts it. It's impolite to leave before you're asked to go... So close his eyes with fire. That'll shut that inferior monster up!"
A flash of fire shoots from her jaws as she says it. "Don't worry... We have your back."

The guide, however, is vehemently against that idea:
"No! Regale them a tale, keep them interested... Or bored. Either amuse them until you get a boon, or be such a nuisance they can't stand you! Don't eat any of the food either!"
The man is clearly scared, and a hell of a lot more lucid compared to before...

Well, that's about what you figured... Time for a song. Considering you need to be a nuisance...
You take the one they sang on the march home. Walking away from the burning library, and the lost people. The demon lord's head on a pike did little to aid morale. Everyone lost something there. The luckiest among your fellows merely lost innocence.
You didn't know yet that you had lost *everything*. You had to burn your home to the ground yourself, after all.

It's a song you remember vividly, being sung by a father, carrying his son's body home.

"...Eyes open wide
Feel your heart and it's gone cold
We're welcome home, sweet home..."

You grimace. Fighting the hordes, marching to the conquered city... Somehow, it wasn't as bad as having it all be over, and knowing all that was lost.
That abstract sadness remains, still.

"I take your hand
Now you'll never be lonely
Not when we're home, sweet home..."

The pixies quickly stopped laughing, and the goat men serenaded your song, rather than playing over it.
"I hate this song!"
"T-Think of something nicer!,"
"Why did... Y-you're own kin!?"

They can read your mind. When you permit yourself to remember... It's not a good place.
The giant spider also seems displeased, with some eyes blinking away tears. Though most of the creature looks more displeased.

"Another song, knave."
Hm... Seems he doesn't like it

> Keep going. Keep doing sad things

>Get back to bottles of beer on the wall

>V i o l e n c e

>>5748942
>> Keep going. Keep doing sad things

>>5749346
>Keep going. Keep doing sad things
Emotional violence is the answer here.

Also, page 10 alert.

>>5749346
> Keep going. Keep doing sad things.
Reflect on our regrets around Ogg and that wizard-of-the-coasy fellow in the lighthouse, our worries about ourselves, our friends, and more. Abgst-bomb these party animals!

>>5749346
> Keep going. Keep doing sad things

>>5749346
I think that if we keep going on this path we are going to have something important taken from us, anything you offer the Fae, they will find away to fuck you. Hell I remember a story of a fae mother fucker asking "Can I have your name?" the poor fucker replied with there name, and the fae took there name, literally took it, the person was never able to say there name again as it was no longer theirs.

>> Keep going. Keep doing sad things

No the correct option is as our love said

>V i o l e n c e


I've said it before and I will say it again trying to outsmart the fae will only result in our ruin.

>>5749803
I think we're doing an okay job of outsmarting them so far. Plus, violence is always available, if it comes down to it.

>>5749803
I wouldn't say what we're doing right now is outsmarting the way. Rather, we're trying to beat them at their own game.

Plus, I think it makes for a better story if Reynauld manages to avoid a fight.

Trying to play the fae is always a stupid idea.

>>5748942
> Keep going. Keep doing sad things

>>5748942
I hope when we keep going they see us actively purging our family and all the reasons why.

>>5750646
Might put the fear of god in them when they see what we're capable of, and understand how much mroe dangerous we are now.

And now, something you haven't ever been able to do. A classic complaining session.
You take in a deep breath, and this time, you don't bother singing.
You start telling stories. Always starting off with how it *could* be good... and then revealing how things aren't great. Coming home at long last, but then seeing the horrors your family was up to. And the subsequent slaughter.

Interestingly, you saw several pixies leave, shortly after. The King, however, seems to be *impressed*.
"I had heard of crusaders from others. But never had I heard of one that brought the crusades home... and how. You are a twisted creature indeed."
Despite that, you saw more of his eyes close. The sadness of it isn't lost on him, though the horror seems to be more interesting. You don't enjoy speaking of your family, to say the least. Your suicidal march against evil that followed was interesting enough to be permitted to speak, but the undercurrent of how you were hoping to find death made it distasteful to many of the listeners... and yet, they were hanging on every word.
It gives you the impression that this place does not have a lot of soldiers... Not *true* soldiers, at any rate. Many recruits, many officers, but none that had gone out to fight anything more dangerous than a peasant or wild animal. Or, if there are, they weren't foolish enough to walk into fae territory.

Then, the story of the dragon, the potential loss of self. The fact that several of your compatriots have suffered. William, Paracelsus, Snikt...
By the end of it, you've gone and made yourself miserable, but the party seems to have... stopped.
You've been talking for hours, and you would kill for a drink, but you know better. The music stopped a while ago, and after some time, one of the goatmen asks:
"What happened then, Dragon-to-be?"
His voice is gravelly, unpleasant. Small wonder he plays the flute over singing.

"Now I am here. Trying to make my way through a forest of... Persistent hosts." You reply, and some pixies flutter around the King, who has been watching closely...
Many of his eyes are closed. All but two, and that eye-like pattern swirling on his back.
"Indeed..."
"I would permit thee to leave. Let thee finish this story... But mine eyes are not closed yet. And I can offer you... a solution."

The spider-thing moves forward.
"An end to your transformation. To all of your friends. In exchange for your stories."
You blink, and when you look around, you notice the world has... Stopped. A faint grey colouration. The leaves don't rustle, the musicians don't speak. It's deathly quiet but for the burbling voice of the titanic thing of many legs.
"Do not worry. This is between the knight and the king. Shall you take mine offer? Or shall thee try *another* court. One far less... pleasant?"

The royal court here.
...

>Yes. Hours of stories for a faster solution.

>This stinks. No.

>If this is between you and him... What's to stop you from killing him now.
No backup, is there?

>>5751700
>In exchange for your stories."
so this would essentially mean that we would lose those stories forever, which would probably be bad since we'd also lose the character development bits.
>This stinks. No.
The stories are not yet complete.

>>5751700
>Politely decline his offer
>The loss of those stories is equal to the loss of self I struggled so hard to avoid, those stories, no matter how painful are what make me, me.

Nwsnue
Captcha plz, we aren't gona snuesnue the spiderfae

>>5751831
Supporting.

>>5751700

>>5751700
>>This stinks. No.

I fucking told you trying to be smart and tricky would fuck us these are fae, we should have attacked before we armed him with all the psychological warfare ammo he will ever need to hurt us.

Now it's fuck it we ball time

>>5751700
>This stinks. No.
"You want to know how the story ends? What a poor ending that would make. 'And then a powerful king came and took away all my woes, and then I lived in his court happily ever after.' No."

I'm going to go ahead and archive this thread, we're down to the last few.

https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2023/5715265/

See you in the next thread.

Captcha says sigg8r.
Got some gun opinions today, I suppose?