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>>5697599
Your nausea bested for the time being, you dare to resume your original investigation: the shrieking girl! What’s happening!?

Your answer comes from further down the deck. Two girls, one in a blue track jacket and denim shorts, chases around another glasses-clad girl in black yoga pants and a pink sweater you could probably see from low orbit. Giggling like Kindergarteners, their chase continues through the maze of deck chairs and tables with little regard for the other passengers.

Not that there are many passengers, that is.

Watching the chase with mild interest, your ears catch the sound of something else over the sound of the ship’s engine, the crashing waves, and the nippy sea air:

Skateboard wheels. A clack. A muffled swear.

Your ears tell you the sounds are coming from behind you towards the back of the boat. The STERN, if you remember correctly… you’re not much of a sailor. As you move to get a better look, you feel something catch your foot that sends you tumbling to the deck in a heap!

Your vision flashes as you peel your face out of the puddle of seawater you landed in. Shaking yourself dry, you look back where your foot landed to find the culprit: a THICK BLACK BOOK with the words ‘GREENRIDGE HIGH YEARBOOK’ in bold white lettering on the front.

You raise an eyebrow. Weird for someone to just leave one of those lying around…

Rising to your shaky legs once more, you hazard another glance towards the boat’s destination and frown. THE ISLAND is still a pinprick on the horizon, meaning you’re gonna be waiting a little bit longer before you hit land again…

The question is, how should you spend your time? CHOOSE ONE FOR NOW!
>GO SEE WHAT THOSE GIRLS ARE UP TO!
>CHECK OUT THE YEARBOOK!
>INVESTIGATE THE SKATE NOISES!
>HOLD ON… WHY WAS THERE A FLASH WHEN YOU FELL?
>TAKE A WALK AROUND THE DECK!
>CHECK YOUR PHONE!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5697600
>HOLD ON… WHY WAS THERE A FLASH WHEN YOU FELL?

>>5697600
>CHECK OUT THE YEARBOOK!

>>5697600
>HOLD ON… WHY WAS THERE A FLASH WHEN YOU FELL?

>>5697600
>HOLD ON… WHY WAS THERE A FLASH WHEN YOU FELL?

>>5697612
>>5697645
>>5697654
>WAIT A MINUTE THAT FLASH

>>5697632
>YEAR INTERESTED IN THE BOOK!

Writing!

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>>5697661
As you briefly contemplate checking out the contents of the lonesome yearbook, a thought hits you like a runaway boat:

Why was there a FLASH when you fell down just now?

As if reading your thoughts, you hear something shuffle on the deck above! Glancing upwards, you just barely manage to catch a glimpse of RED before it darts away from the edge to the sound of several light and quick footfalls!

Worry settles into your head as your gaze shifts between the stairs leading up to the next deck and your INSULATED PIZZA PACK. You’re pretty sure no one would be able to sneak away with a bright red square backpack big enough to hold a teenager, but there’ll be hell to pay if someone takes a few slices while you’re not looking!

Then again, the ferry isn’t that big-whoever the mysterious flasher was will have a hard time hiding!

… whoops, phrasing. The person who made the flash. Yep, that’s what you meant. Crap, could you imagine if a flasher was on the boat?

Right, chasing down the person! As you rapidly mount the steps to the second deck, your mind wanders back to a weathered old note you saw on the NOTICE BOARD back at the PIZZA PARLOR:

’If you find yourself in a stressful situation, don’t freak out! Just ROLL A 1d100 PLUS ANY BONUSES OR MALUSES THAT APPLY TO IT! The BEST OF 3 ROLLS WINS! Be careful of 1’s or 100’s, though--those can result in either COLOSSAL FAILURES or SUCCESSES! Most importantly, don’t forget that ADDING DETAILS TO YOUR ACTIONS and BEING CREATIVE can only help your roll! Heck, it might even give you BONUS POINTS!~Mgmt.’

You have no clue who the hell put that note there, but it seems oddly important right now…

Anyways, AFTER THEM!

>ROLL ME 1d100+5 (+5 Welcome to the Quest Bonus!) to CATCH THIS CREEP! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

Rolled 33 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>5697667

Rolled 41 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>5697667

Rolled 11 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>5697667

>>5697676
>>5697678
>>5697688
>HIGHEST ROLL: 46!
Writing! Just to keep things clear here:
>1: CRIT FAIL
>2-30: Fail Badly
>30-49: Fail Not So Badly
>50-60: Barely Succeed
>60-85: Succeed!
>86-99: Succeed WELL!
>100: CRIT SUCCESS!
Hope that makes sense and is fair enough! Obviously some of these values depend on context as well! Writing!

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You must have JUST cleared the steps when it hits: that’s right…

LEG CRAAAAAAMP!

Having spent most of the voyage battling SEA SICKNESS while watching over your pizzas like a very confused hawk, you didn’t exactly have time to stretch before going after, well, whoever you’re running after.

With the grace of a toppled ice sculpture, you quite literally hit the deck for the second time in the last few seconds with a dull ‘THUD’ and spend a few moments lying there in silent self-loathing before you feel something poke at your leg.

“Hey. Heeeey. You alive down there, slick?”

You respond to the mysterious female voice with a half-hearted shrug.

“Well sheesh, I’m not going to run If you’re gonna break your neck chasing after me! C’mon, now, wake up and smell the pizza…”

A decent person would probably help you up, but when your Good Samaritan continues to kick your leg it dawns on you that she might not be a decent person. Peeling yourself off the deck, you look up to find a petite redhead looming over you wearing a simple black vest, a white shirt, and a plaid skirt that reaches down to her knees.

“Watch the camera angle there, creep.”

Right, sorry! Averting your gaze from where her skirt meets her knees, your eyes narrow at the laminated index card hanging from a lanyard around her neck-the word ‘PRESS’ emblazoned in bold ARIAL FONT.

… and narrow more when you notice the CAMERA she has hidden behind her back!

>CONTD.

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>>5697719

“So what’s your story, bright-eyes?” She asks with a bemused look on her face. “Hop on the wrong ferry?”

No, you frown, you’re a pi-

“Pizza, huh?” She interjects as she gives you a once over, “Odd uniform ya’ got there, chief.”

You follow her gaze down to your TRENDY TRACKSUIT. Look, it’s not a unif-

“You’re right, too tacky. Bad for the brand…” She sighs, circling around you like a shark around a wounded seal. “Tell me, scout: you a GOPHER?”

Now that one gets you. What the hell does that even me-”

“‘GO! GO! GOPHERS!’,” she recites, as if that explains it all. “GREENRIDGE GOPHERS. Sports team. Mascot. School spirit and all that jazz.”

That explains it, you nod, see you aren-

“Clearly not a student-not at GREENRIDGE, anywho… haven’t seen ya’ around, and buddy: I see everyone!” The girl explains with a faint glint in her eye. Is she… is she proud of that?

“Quiet type, huh? Bet it works on all the ladies…” She mutters as she rubs her chin. “Or guys, whatever you’re into…”

You can already feel a vein throbbing on your forehead. Who IS this girl??

“What are ya, CAPTAIN OF THE MIME CLUB or something?” She asks as she gives your shoulder a prod, “What’s your name, ranger? Gimme something here!”

Alright, FINE!

>Your name is: (WRITE-IN or VOTE for SOMEONE ELSE’S IDEA)

And you are:
>A BOY!
>A GIRL!

>>5697722
>>A BOY!
Casiel “Cass” Nelson

>>5697722
>A BOY!
>Name: Elsweyr

>>5697722
>A BOY!
Ulysses S(tanley) DeLux, Ultra Deluxe to our friends.

>>5697722
>>A GIRL!
Alibi Anonymous

>>5697722
>>A BOY!
>Diesel

>>5697722
>>A BOY!
>Carlos Varga

>>5697727
>>5697728
>>5697745
>>5697750
>>5697758
>>5697761
Looks like we're locked in for having a Y Chromosome, folks!
>BOY
Wins it! Now let's zero in on a dang name or we'll be here all week! The choices are as follows... feel free to vote again if you've already put an idea forward and wanna switch!

Choose 1:
>Casiel "Cass" Nelson
>Elsweyr
>Ulysses S(tanley) DeLux, ULTRA DELUXE to our friends
>Diesel
>Carlos Varga
>WRITE-IN!

>>5697764
>>Casiel "Cass" Nelson

>>5697764
>>Diesel Crash

>>5697764
>Ulysses S(tanley) DeLux, ULTRA DELUXE to our friends

>>5697779
>>5697780
>>5697783
Gonna wait about 10 more minutes and roll for the name if no consensus is reached! Getting a little later on my end and I don't wanna get bogged down by character crap! Thanks for your patience!

>>5697801
Diesel Crash is my second vote if nobody else will back ULTRA DELUXE.

>>5697805
LISTEN, being both a boy and girl’s name Cass is the ultimate non-parallel to STAN!

My reasoning for the name was that “Cass” would be mistaken for a girl at least on paper. [\spoiler]

>>5697810
I mean *non-Stan parallel to Stan

>>5697764
The time has come, ladies, gentlemen, and everything in between. This might be the last update of the night, too--gonna do one more and then you'll probably hear from me WEDNESDAY around 2PM PST at the LATEST!

Here's the tally:
>>5697780
>>5697805
>DIESEL CRASH

>>5697779
>CASS NELSON!

Let's get this show on the road, yea? Writing!

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Your name is DIESEL, okay?! DIESEL CRASH! It takes you a moment to realize you’re shouting at the girl, but once you do you manage to calm down a bit.

And no, you sigh, pausing between sentences to massage your temples, you’re not a-

“DIESEL CRASH, huh?” Remarks the girl as she takes a seat on a nearby railing, “I’ve heard some weird pseudonyms before, bub, but that one’s downright self-deprecating.”

It’s not a pseudonym, th-

“So let’s take a trip down this spider web one last time, huh, Diesel?” The redhead suggests, pausing to give a knowing wink at your first name. “You’re not a student at GREENRIDGE HIGH-”

Nope, you smirk, puffing out your MANLY CHEST, You’re at SANDCASTLE HIGH! GO SANDCRABS-

“And lemme guess:” she interrupts, interrupting your own interruption like a pro, “you’re heading to HAUSER ISLAND to deliver pizzas for MINA HAUSER’S BIG GRAD BASH, but you’re dressed casual because your UNCLE EMILIO insisted on you trying to crash here for the night instead of dropping off the goods and rushing to grab this here ferry back to the mainland…”

She pauses mid-explanation to give you a sideways glance.

“On account of your SEA SICKNESS, of course. And because he loves you.”

It takes your brain a few seconds to meet the girl at the station, but when it does all you can do is sputter “Y-yYEA! H-how-”

“Because you just told me, sandcrab.” Interjects the redhead as she sends a pair of GUN FINGAHS your way! “You’d be surprised what a little speculation can get ya in this gig… well anyways, that’s swell, chief, because you’re exactly the kind of knight in tracksuited armor I need tonight…”

Uh, you stammer, okay, wow... tonight?

Wait, hold on a damn second–you were chasing HER! You’v-

“Pictures, right? Don’t worry, they’ll be deleted.” She smiles as she fiddles with the CAMERA behind her back. “IF they ever existed, of course.”

Okay, hold on a sec! You’ve got questions of your own!

“Well by all means, don’t let me keep ya.” The girl smirks as she idly adjusts her hair. “Figure you’ve earned an answer or two.”

Damn right you have! What do you ask?
>WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ANYWAYS?
>WHAT DOES SHE NEED YOU FOR, EXACTLY?
>WHAT’S THE SCOOP ON THIS PARTY?
>WAIT, HAUSER?
>WHY DID YOU TAKE A PICTURE OF ME FALLING, EXACTLY?
>SCREW THIS-I’M GONNA GO BEFORE YOU GIVE ME AN ANEURYSM…
>WRITE-IN!

>>5697848
>WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ANYWAYS?
>WHAT DOES SHE NEED YOU FOR, EXACTLY?
and most importantly embarassingly
>WHY DID YOU TAKE A PICTURE OF ME FALLING, EXACTLY?

>>5697848
>WHAT’S THE SCOOP ON THIS PARTY?
>WAIT, HAUSER?
These seem to go together.

>>5697848
>WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ANYWAYS?
>WHY DID YOU TAKE A PICTURE OF ME FALLING, EXACTLY?
>I APPRECIATE THE DATE SUGGESTION, BUT MAYBE A DINNER FIRST?

I only realized this by the person who did bones quest when I read the instruction how rolling works

>>5697848
>WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ANYWAYS?
>WHAT DOES SHE NEED YOU FOR, EXACTLY?

>>5697909
>bones quest
What was Bones Quest like, so I can have some idea of what I'm getting into here?

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>>5697848
This looks dope, love the writing style! Keep up the quest QM!

I agree with (>>5697867)
>WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ANYWAYS?
>WAIT, HAUSER?
>WHY DID YOU TAKE A PICTURE OF ME FALLING, EXACTLY?

>>5697848
>WHAT’S THE SCOOP ON THIS PARTY?
>WAIT, HAUSER?

>>5697922
Kinda hard to explain but it was weird

>>5697922
Nice art, wacky but cool story, and some of the lewdest waifus on qst (jk). Would recommend!

>>5697852
>>5697867
>>5697907
>>5697909
>>5697925
>>5697964
The more things change, the more they stay the same, huh? Brace, folks, we're asking EVERYTHING!

>>5697909
>person who did Bones Quest
Hey, glad to have you back! I figured my writing or crappy artistry would have given it away eventually... hope you enjoy this one!

>>5697922
>What is Bones Quest
A rules-lite comedic quest I finished about a year ago. The story followed a janitor named Stanley (she was a girl though) as she fought to save her hometown from an evil Lich that raised a buttload of skeletons. I've got the whole thing archived if you wanna check it out!

https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=bones+quest
I've also been working on putting it all into a website for easier reading-got up to Chapter 6:
https://bonesquest.wordpress.com/
>>5697983
>>5697989
These two basically sum it up pretty dang well. I had fun with it and I wanna have fun with SLICE QUEST too, so let's get to it, huh? Glad my reputation precedes me though!

>>5697925
Jesus CHRIST you guys work fast-I love it! Just look at Diesel's CHISELED CHIN and THE GIRL'S SMUG AURA. Look at it! Thank you so much, man-this looks fantastic!

One more blatant shill before I write, folks: if you haven't already, go check out the timeless epic HORSE QUEST-Bane puts way too much effort into all of his work and I love him for it. It's truly a treat to behold and you really oughta catch it while you can! Exemplary drawquest with some sickass animations to boot! Yum!

On that note, let's get writing....

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First of all, you begin in a tone far more diplomatic than this girl deserves, who the hell are YOU anyways?

“The name’s HYPATIA…” The redhead confidently answers, “HYPATIA LAUDERMILQUE, at your service!”

Bullshit.

“Well well, look at DIESEL here mastering the pseudonyms!” Remarks ‘Hypatia’ as she gives you a golf clap. Your name isn’t a PSEUDONYM, damn i-

“Alright, alright, ya scooped me, slick: name’s PEPPER HORNSBY: REPORTER FOR THE GREENRIDGE HIGH GAZETTE!”

… b-bullshit?

“Sorry, scout, that name’s the real McCoy.” Shrugs Pepper as she holds out her ‘PRESS PASS’ for you to examine.

Yep, it’s an index card, alright.

“Not for much longer it isn’t!” She retorts with a conspiratorial wink! “Just gotta put some more legwork in and boom, this girl’ll be swimming in job offers!”

Well it’s great that she’s so confident in herself, you reply with a disinterested shrug. So is that why she’s taking pictures of you like a voyeur? Building her resume?

“Close, but no cigar, skip.” Pepper smirks as she shows you her VOYE-err, REPORTER’S CAMERA with pride in her eyes! “This puppy’s about as useful to a reporter as a FIRE AX is to a FIREFIGHTER! A PEN to an AUTHOR!”

Neat, you say, nodding impatiently, so why is she using it to take pictures of you falling?

“Would you believe it was in your best interest?”

No.

“Dang. Worth a shot, I guess.”

>CONTD.

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>>5698202
Your SEA SICKNESS is slowly transforming into a migraine dealing with this girl! Crossing your arms and adopting an appropriately irked expression, it takes the girl a few moments of silent glowering before she spills the proverbial ‘beans’.

“Alright look, sandcrab: the truth is that I needed to get your attention, okay?” She explains with an odd amount of contriteness in her tone, “And a girl like me can’t just stroll up to any guy apropos of nothing! What kind of kook does that?”

You’d been contemplating strolling up to a few other people onboard apropos of nothing only a few minutes ago, but you don’t bother telling her that. So what, you frown, she just took them to get you to chase her?

“You got it, chief!”

… how is taking unsolicited pictures of someone and running away any less dangerous than just approaching someone?

“... trade secret. Next question.”

Yep, it’s a migraine. Here’s a question, you add, poking your finger in Pepper’s face for added dramatic flair: if she just needed your attention, why did she only take a picture of you when you were falling? The girl’s perpetually-smug face falters for but a moment.

“Had to look authentic.”

She took it because she thought it was funny, didn’t she?

A shrug. “You’ve got your story, I’ve got mine!”

Her story’s gonna turn into a HORROR STORY if she keeps this crap up!

>CONTD.

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>>5698205
Fighting back the urge to flip this menace over the railing, you instead massage your temples and dig deeper: okay, you huff, you’re here now talking to her… what does she need you for anyways?

“Now we’re talkin’!” Pepper giggles, that glint from before returning to her soulless blue eyes, “See, this is exactly why I picked you, sandcrab: I’ve done laps around this ferry for an hour now and no doubt about it: YOU’RE the most capable-looking guy here!” She gives you an ocular patdown before continuing. “And I don’t say that about just anyone ya know. High praise, skip.”

You feel another twang of pain in your head. She chose you because everyone else going to this party hates her, right?

“They hate the TRUTH, Diesel!” exclaims the redhead, admittedly catching you off-guard a bit, “Everyone loves the intrepid newsies, the big expose on the elitist fatcats! All until the camera’s pointed at THEM!”

Oh god she’s pacing now

“THE PRESS owes the public a clear, unbiased view of all things ‘news’, got it?! So it’s only natural that sometimes those clear, unbiased views step on a few people’s toes! Can’t make an omelet without invading the egg’s privacy now and then-I don’t make the rules, sandcrab!”

Is she trying to convince you, or is she trying to convince herself?

“And so what if some of those people happen to be extremely influential at GREENRIDGE HIGH?The people demand ANSWERS, DIESEL! NO MATTER THE CO-”

Alright, ALRIGHT, you interject, holding your hands out towards the raving lunatic in a placating manner, you get it, she needs an outsider!

“A-Plus deduction, chief.” Nods Pepper as she puts her journalistic sermon on hold, “Here’s the thing…”

Scanning the deck for any eavesdroppers, the petite paparazzi scoots next to you and leans in to whisper. God, she REEKS of coffee!

“Truth is, I’m not technically allowed to BE here.”

Wow, shocker!

>CONTD.

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>>5698207
And just wh-

“SSSSHHHHH!” She interrupts as she nudges your gut WAY harder than necessary, “Ix-nay on the oudness-lay!”

What did you get yourself int-

“SsSsssSSSHHH!”

Okay, OKAY! So WHY isn’t she allowed to be here?”

“Well if you’ve done your homework,” Pepper begins, pausing mid-sentence to ascertain whether you look like the kind of guy who ‘does his homework’, “... tonight the GREENRIDGE HIGH SENIORS are celebrating their upcoming graduation.”

Apparently you don’t look like you do your homework.

Yea, you nod, you figur-

“It’s a GRAD PARTY, sandcrab, you know what a GRAD PARTY is?”

YES! YES YOU DO!

“Alright, take it easy there, tiger.” She hisses before pulling out a CUTESY PINK CELLPHONE from her pocket. “... it’s a burner phone.”

Yea, sure.

“The juicy part, slick, is that the whole bash is being run by our very own MINA AND DARREN HAUSER: our STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENT and FOOTBALL TEAM CAPTAIN respectively.”

Wait, you interrupt, why aren’t we whispering anymore?

“This is common knowledge, ace. Try to keep up.”

Fine.

“Those two are small potatoes, though,” Pepper continues as she feverishly taps away at her phone. “Their NAME is the moneymaker here. Ever heard of HAUSER PHARMACEUTICALS?”

Well yea, you nod as a video loads on her phone, they make all of those pain meds an-

“Educate yourself.”

Before you can stop her, the girl shoves her phone a few inches from your face just as the video starts to play…

>CONTD.

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>>5698208
“MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”

The scene opens with a close-up on a shrieking child’s mouth before panning out to reveal a snotty-nosed rugrat in baseball gear clutching his knee! Within seconds a harried-looking housewife scampers outside to her child’s side.

“Oh no, honey, what happened!?”

“ErrburbuuhbubrrghrubrubrUUUH…”

“Gee, that bad, huh?” Replies the mom with an ‘oh YOU’ expression on her face. Reaching into her flour-stained apron, the mother pulls out a small box of HAUSER BRAND MEDICATED PLASTERS and unwraps one to her child’s horror!

“Is-is-is-IS-is it g-g-g-gonna…”

“Hurt? No way, kiddo.”

With a shocked expression that could win an award, the injured kid turns to his left to find a SOLDIER sitting on the grass next to him-his arm wrapped in a HAUSER BRAND MEDICATED BANDAGE!

“Willikers!” Exclaims the baseball player with saucer-sized eyes!

“All done, honey!”

Turning back to his mother, the child is shocked to find that the procedure is finished! Flabbergasted, he looks back at the soldier in disbelief!

“Gee, mister, that didn’t hurt at all!”

“Atta’ boy!” The marine smiles as he gives the kid a thumbs up, “Now on your feet, soldier!”

“Yes SIR!”

Leaping to his feet, the child is probably up for half a second before a ball lands soundly in his outstretched glove! Showing it off to his mom and new friend, the three pose for the camera as a narrator closes out the scene:

“HAUSER PHARMACEUTICALS: THE SIMPLEST SOLUTIONS FOR EVEN THE BIGGEST BOO-BOOS!”

You’re just about to share your thoughts when the color drains from the picture and a big red stamp with the word ‘FRAUD’ covers the scene with a dramatic ‘BAM!’ Before you can ask, you answer comes in the form of a familiar female narration:

“But what if the solution… was TERRORISM!?”

“Wait for it…” Pepper smiles as you open your mouth. Before you can ask why, the video concludes with footage of a van exploding! As the video ends, the ‘journalist’ looks at you like a kid showing off their macaroni art.

“Weeell?”

Yea, you’re pretty sure that’s LIBEL.

>CONTD

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>>5698212
“Listen, SALLY SKEPTIC:” Huffs Pepper, clearly not enthralled by your review, “You’re not seeing the forest for the trees here: BIG PHARMA COMPANY? CEO OWNS THE ISLAND? HEIRS TO THE COMPANY RUNNING AN EXCLUSIVE GRAD PARTY?! I smell a SCOOP!”

Rich people buy weird crap, what a scoop. Groaning in frustration, the redhead stuffs her ‘BURNER PHONE’ back into her pocket before stomping over to the guardrail again!

“There’s something buried here, sandcrab… lots of kitty litter to sift through in this box if you get my meaning!”

Whipping around to face you with a look of surprising determination on her face, the girl takes a few steps closer to you before adopting a less-stern posture.

“... which is why I need you, Mr. Crash, to help me get in there! Preferably without casualties.”

You blink. Why would there be casualt-”

“Doesn’t matter! Look, I know it’s a lot to ask, but puh-LEEEEASE?!”

Before you can protest, the girl is all up in your grille again with that smug look on her face.

“Whaddaya say, partner? Hmm?”

The coffee scent is starting to make your eyes sting. How do you respond to this menace?

>LEMME THINK ABOUT IT!
>WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME, HUH?
>OKAY, FINE!
>NO THANKS, GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE!
>YEA, SURE! (LIE)
>ONE MORE QUESTION… (WRITE-IN!)

>>5698215
Too fascinated by her childlike sense of mystery, there is no doubt some conspiracy here, even if she is completely wrong about what kind of conspiracy it is.
>LEMME THINK ABOUT IT!
>WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME, HUH?

>>5698102
<3 Thank you for the shout out!

>>5698202
>“Would you believe it was in your best interest?”
If there's a murder or a horror movie plot going off somewhere else on the boat right now, being photographed NOT DOING A MURDER at exactly the same time would, actually, be in our best interest.

>>5698224
This does depend if her camera is modern enough to contain metadata for the image. OR also has someone else in it that can confirm the time. Let’s hope she didn’t cheap out and buy a shitty camera. Knowing her from this first meeting though… I wouldn’t be so sure.

>>5698229
>This does depend if her camera is modern enough to contain metadata for the image.
The position of the sun or moon (and the shadows they're casting, and maybe even the stars) could verify the approximate time even if it's not recording that kind of metadata.

At least, that's what we'll tell our defense attorney if we do need to bring the picture of us falling up in court. We might not LOOK like the type that does homework, but we've probably watched a few mysteries on TV or something.

>>5698229
Addendum: It does seem kind of weird that she's got a separate camera instead of shooting stuff with her burner phone, unless her camera is really nice. In which case, if it's digital, it is certainly recording timestamp metadata.

>>5698215
>LEMME THINK ABOUT IT!
>WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME, HUH?

I wonder if Pepper has ever tried to write a story on sewer mutants

For the sake of avoiding confusion I'll have you know that Pepper has a DIGITAL CAMERA! Sorry for not pointing it out!

>>5698224
>>5698234
>>5698238
>Murders
Guys, c'mon... it's a GRAD BASH! No need to be so grim here! Murders... seriously now.

>>5698241
THE TRUTH DEMANDS TO BE HEARD

>>5698243
>it's a GRAD BASH! No need to be so grim here!
If horror movies and murder mysteries and thrillers have taught me one thing, it's that when a critical mass of teenagers accumulates in one spot, bodies start hitting the floor.
>Murders... seriously now.
Your thread image has a bloody knife stabbed through a pizza box, and that set my expectations.

Also "Slice Quest" would be a good title for a horror movie where the villain was a pizza delivery guy...

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>>5698247
H-haha! Oh Anon... you and your w-wacky sense of humor... Ha...

>>5698215
>WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME, HUH?
WRITE IN FOLLOW UP:
>"So, am I getting laid tonight? Is that what you meant by 'partner'?"

I think that's the most logical thing for a teenage girl to offer a teenage guy that would get him to go to the moon and back for her, no matter how suspicious she is.

Also, anything approaching a lewd scene or even foreplay delivered in this BOLD and ALL CAPS style would be incredibly hilarious to read.

>>5698255
Something tells me this is not the move lmfao

>>5698247
This is true though

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>>5698222
>>5698241
>LET ME THINK ABOUT IT!
>WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME, HUH?

Writing! Got a meeting soon so this might be short-will continue when I get back!

>>5698255
>>5698259
>>5698260
In the interest of narrative and choice I'm gonna slap a disclaimer on here:

ASSUME ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THIS QUEST ARE 18+. EXCEPT FOR THE KID IN THE COMMERCIAL. JUST IMAGINE SOME OF THEM GOT HELD BACK A FEW TIMES, I DUNNO.

I feel like this is gonna keep popping up and while I'm not much of a lewder I also recognize that yea, that's pretty realistic for teens. I don't want people to step on eggshells here as long as it's all in good spirit with the narrative.

In short, if you wanna go that route then there's the disclaimer above-I'm making it clear now! Anyways writing...

>>5698265
>ASSUME ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THIS QUEST ARE 18+
You already said it was a graduation party. That's the age for high school graduation in my country at least, so I already assumed that.

>I feel like this is gonna keep popping up and while I'm not much of a lewder I also recognize that yea, that's pretty realistic for teens. I don't want people to step on eggshells here as long as it's all in good spirit with the narrative.
I think I should clarify (because I'm the one who did that write-in) that I'm not trying to derail this into a lewd quest, but that's the idea that made sense to me at the time for the awkward and pushy wannabe-papparazzi securing the protagonist's help (teenage dudes, thinking with their lower heads), and I fully expect from your writing style that anything of the sort you did before fading to black would be far more humorous than boner inducing - and that's a good thing.

Also, if we actually do eventually get 'payment' for that arrangement, I expect that to act as a homing beacon for any slasher movie monster or serial killer, based on how that genre works, which could be hilarious to pull the trigger on later down the line. Maybe even deliberately doing it to lure the killer out, because those things just love killing teenagers in the throes of passion.

If our genre is actually a horror/slasher movie thing.

>>5698215
>WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME, HUH?

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Despite your best efforts, you fail to avoid the smug gaze of your newest ‘friend’. No doubt about it: being associated with her probably won’t endear you to many people at this shindig you aren’t invited to, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little intrigued by the owners of the private island.

… or by her enthusiasm.

First thing’s first, you huff as you take a few steps out of the COFFEE AURA, if you did agree to help-

“Atta’ boy, tiger! I knew I could count o-”

IF you agreed to help, you continue, rubbing where Pepper playfully punched your shoulder, you’d be doing her a big favor… these people don’t even know you and you’re not even 100% sure you won’t just be kicked back onto the boat when you arrive…

“Of COURSE they won’t, sandcrab! You’ll woo them with your, uh…” The energy falters a bit in the girl’s voice as she stares at you for a moment. “... natural CHARISMA! Yea!”

She’s really not selling it, is she?

“Okay, OKAY, I see which way the wind is blowing here…” Pepper grumbles, “Let me guess: you want something in return, right?”

Well uh, yea.

“Done!” She chirps as she claps her hands together! “You drive a hard bargain, Diesel! I wasn’t going to at first, but you’re a negotiator-I saw that in your eyes the minute you approached me!”

Wait, she wasn’t going to pay you?

“Let’s sweeten the pot a bit, huh, ace?” Pepper suggests as she rubs her chin in contemplation, “What say I give you CREDIT when the big scoop publishes?”

Yea, nah.

“Ooh, we’ve got ourselves a shark here! Look out!” She laughs, clearly not noticing your growing impatience. “Well you’ve gotta’ meet me at the table, chief: anything in particular YOU want?

The word ‘anything’ hits you like a truck. Shit, you didn’t think you’d be negotiating tonight!

“C’mon, slick, meet me halfway here.”

Well…
>YOU WANT A TIP. A BIG TIP. IN CASH!
>HOW ABOUT AN ENDORSEMENT FOR THE PIZZA PARLOR IN THE SCHOOL PAPER?
>SHE’S BUYING YOU DINNER. SOMETHING FANCY THAT ISN’T PIZZA!
>A FAVOR! YOU’LL FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS LATER!
>A-ANYTHING, HUH?
>WRITE-IN!

>>5698278
No need to explain yourself, man! I getcha. I've watched enough slashers to know how things go-I just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page. Anyways we're all set now-thanks for reaching out to me about it and for participating!

>>5698279
Shit, sorry--I'll get you next time, honest!

>>5698283
I also wanted to make sure we were on the same page. I used to run quests a few years back (not using my trip here because it's not my thread), and I wanted to nip any misunderstanding in the bud and make it clear I wasn't trying to push things in that direction, because I've been on the other side of these exchanges, and it can be difficult to tell what players are actually pushing for.

>>5698281
>A FAVOR! YOU’LL FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS LATER!
>A-ANYTHING, HUH?
These fit together well.

I do like the idea of us having a blanc cheque favor to hold over her when things inevitably go haywire down the line. Even if we only spend it on something like "THROW ME THE ROPE!"

>>5698293
Supporting this.
Let her fear the future.

>>5698281
>A-ANYTHING, HUH?
Lewd imaginings grow lewder. BUT:
>HOW ABOUT AN ENDORSEMENT FOR THE PIZZA PARLOR IN THE SCHOOL PAPER?
We're a go-getter, too! Surprise!

>>5698281
>SHE’S BUYING YOU DINNER. SOMETHING FANCY THAT ISN’T PIZZA!

>>5698293
>>5698303
>FAVOR
>A-A-ANYTHING???

>>5698314
>A-ANYTHING?
>ENDORSEMENT

>>5698329
>DINNER!

Favor and 'Anything' win it! Now do me a favor here and ROLL ME 1d100 TO CONVINCE PEPPER/AVOID SPERGING OUT! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

As per the norm in these cases, writing specific arguments/lines/ideas can help your chances (read: BONUS POINTS!)

Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>5698360

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>5698360

Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>5698360

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>5698360
I'd write an argument, but she needs us way more than we need anything, even a 'favour' from a cute girl.

One more thing before we get too deep:
Please only VOTE ONCE UNLESS EXPLICITLY ASKED! I've allowed people to roll again in the past when /qst/ is slow, but otherwise let's keep the rolls to one per player, okay? I want things to stay fun, but fair. Thanks for listening!

On that note, looks like we've got some rolls!
>HIGHEST ROLL: 84!
Gonna take a quick shower and update after that. Thanks for your patience!

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Meet her halfway, huh?

You run a few options through your head: your uncle could always use some more advertising, but you’re not exactly sure how helpful an endorsement from Pepper would be…

Money? Nah-you’ve seen how people tip in this town and without an exact number in mind you’ll just be going in circles. Not to mention you could get a tip from anyone if you’re nice enough. This girl, despite all of her eccentricities, needs you…

And that’s when your mind starts to wander a bit, specifically towards Pepper’s skirt and moderately tight sweater vest.

Anything, huh? You wouldn’t call yourself a Casanova or anything, but every self-respecting man of the CRASH DYNASTY had some charisma! When your question leaves your lips, it drifts over to your ‘partner’ with just the right blend of interest, but also casualness of a simple question!

“What are ya, hard of hearing or something? Yes, anythi-”

Pepper’s response trails off as your meaning slowly dawns on her. To her credit she only trips up for a second before recovering her smugness.

“That’s right, DIESEL...” She coos, taking the opportunity to step closer to you, “Anything…”

Feeling the scent of coffee tickle your nostrils again, you manage to respond with a composed “Alriiiiight”. Uncle Emilio would be proud!

In that case, you segue, how about she owes you a FAVOR? To be called in at a later date, of course.

“Wow, sandcrab, making pizzas, negotiating favors-you gonna give me an offer I can’t refuse too?” Asks the reporter with a laugh in her voice.

You’re IRISH-ITALIAN, thank you very much! Is she taking the deal or not?

The girl gives the deck a few taps with her sneaker before holding her hand out for you to shake! Obliging her, you give your new partner a nod-alrighty then!

“Deal’s a deal: you get me in there and we’re golden.” Pepper explains with a wink. “And all that entails, hotshot.”

Sweet, you nod as you conjure ‘favors’ in your head. This night’s getting better by the minute!

>CONTD.

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>>5698365
>84
Good job, I didn't even need to trying rolling on this one. Looks like Diesel won't be Crashing this one (at least not too badly).

>>5698372
If it'll add any sort of bonus, I'd say our argument should be something along the line of the fact that she's trying to play paparazzi on what is apparently the private island of the head of a massive corporation at his daughter's graduation party, and if things go south, she will really be wanting our special sausage & salami pizza between her and scary guys in suits, so we should get to drive a hard bargain here.

Also, what about offering to say she's helping up with pizza delivery, to give her an excuse to be on the island? We're wearing a TRENDY TRACKSUIT, so it seems our particular pizza company isn't too particular about uniforms. If she just hides that 'press badge'...

We could probably drive a harder bargain with that as part of the deal.

...I don't know why, but I'm starting to think in Hitman logic, with this "we're totally here to deliver pizza, guys!" schtick. Oh shit, we're here on a job from 'Uncle Emilio'. Maybe pizza's not the only thing in our INSULATED PIZZA PACK, and we really are a hitman. Speaking of, did we ever recover our INSULATED PIZZA PACK, and are we going to need to look for it and enlist our (apparent) partner in crime to help us find it?

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>>5698427
“Alright, slick,” Pepper continues, clearly unperturbed by your goofy expression, “Once we arrive I’ll follow your lead… and if anyone asks or you get caught,YOU DON’T KNOW ME!”

You uh… you don’t really know her now, you retort. Not yet, at least…

“Focus, ace,” she warns, jabbing her finger in your face, “If you screw up then the deal’s off, no ifs ands or buts about it! Too bad, so sad! Snooze ya lose!”

Relax, you scoff, how hard can it be?

The girl gives you a long, hard, and surprisingly not very smug stare for an uncomfortably long moment before regaining her ‘swag’.

“You’re right! Counting on ya, slugger!”

Shooting you one last salvo of GUN FINGAHS, PEPPER moves to slink away, no doubt to invade even more passenger’s privacy.

Anything else you wanna ask her before she ditches you?
>YES! (WRITE-IN!)
>NO!

>>5698428
Shit, sorry! This is all actually very good reasoning! I'll hold onto it for when we need it next!

>>5698430
>YES! (WRITE-IN!)
Her phone number, obviously. We'll need to stay in contact during the operation. Give her ours as well. Tell her to save us under an inconspicuous name in case her phone ends up being searched.

>>5698430
>YES!
I concur with (>>5698436) but also
>Ask her to grab a couple slices of pizza and keep them on her. This will be important later.

>>5698431
No worries, I got it in late, and it was mostly not a direct vote, just strategy suggestions.

>>5698430
>YES! (WRITE-IN!)
"You might have an easier time getting in if you do pretend to know me, hide that 'press badge', and say you're part of the pizza delivery crew. Does that sound like a plan?"

I'm REALLY tempted to stick on "now for that to work, there are some important Italian phrases you'll need to know..." and teach her some horrifically crude Italian phrases for fun, but I'm leaving that up to QM discretion.

>>5698436
Seconding this.

>>5698430
>>5698436
>>5698441
>>5698457
+1 to all of these

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>>5698457
It just occurred to me - if we have a spare pizza delivery hat/visor or branded nametag (that doesn't have the same name as ours) or something like that to give her, the pizza delivery ruse plan will go better. Would we have something like that?

Also, one of the reasons I'm recommending the pizza delivery ruse plan is that it keeps her with us longer, because while she's kinda fun, I'm not sure I trust her yet, and being able to keep an eye on her might be a good thing if she goes sketchy. (Or, possibly, if someone tries to do sketchy things to her. I'm still eyeing that bloody knife through the pizza box in the first post with some trepidation.)

>>5698436
>DIGITS!

>>5698441
>DIGITS AND TAKE SOME ZZA!

>>5698457
>DIGITS AND BY THE WAY HERE'S SOME PIZZA LINGO YOU'RE PART OF THE PIZZA TEAM

>>5698459
>ALL OF THIS SHIT

>>5698464
>NAMETAG/HAT/ETC

You guys never cease to amaze me with your ingenuity! We're doing it all, folks! Writing!

>>5698477
>PIZZA LINGO
This should come in handy: https://www.languagetrainers.com/blog/17-must-know-italian-swearwords-insults/

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Wait, shit, there ARE a few things you wanna ask her! Striking like a coiled viper, you nearly dislocate your arm as you manage to reach out and snag the girl by the shoulder before she can steal away! Hold your horses!

Pepper lets out a short yelp as you reel her back in! “Alright, ALRIGHT,” she groans, “I’m holding them! Easy on the merchandise, sandcrab-you could yank a girl’s head off with those paws of yours!”

You wouldn’t have to if she didn’t rush off like a jewel thief! Besides, you sigh as she looks at you expectantly, you’ve got a few things to go over before you split up!

“All ears, chief.” She replies as she plants her hands on her hips. “It’s not like we’re there yet, anywho.”

She’s not wrong-it feels like this voyeur’s taken years of your life away, but when you glance in the direction the ferry’s heading, you find yourself still far away from your destination. Man, this boat is SLOW!

Anyways, you start, this operation’s going to require a lot more planning if it’s going to work-winging it ain’t gonna cut it!

Pulling out your CELLPHONE, you hold it out for Pepper to see and notice you’ve got a MISSED CALL FROM YOUR UNCLE! How’d you miss that?

“Good idea-we can swap numbers to stay in contact on the island!” Grins your partner as you both exchange devices and tap in your digits! Make sure to save it under a different name, you warn, saving your name as ‘DIEGO’.

“Done!”

Snatching your phone back before she can root through your browser history, you can’t help but groan a bit at her entry.

“What?”

Change it, please.

The reporter furrows her brow. “... it’s an alia-”

Then choose a normal alias, jeez! One that won’t give anyone the wrong idea!

“Spoilsport.” Snatching your phone back, Pepper taps away a few more times before returning your device with mild trepidation in her expression. “Happy, Peter Perfect?”

Yes, you sigh, ‘LYDIA’ is much better than the last one!

“... again, it was a historical alias-”

MOVING ON!

>CONTD.

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>>5698512
“Alright, slick,” begins your partner as you stow your phone back into your pocket, “What’s next?”

Next, you answer, is the part where you get her something to blend in a little!

“Not a bad idea, ace.” Pepper remarks in an impressed tone, “SECURITY’S probably going to be handled by the DISCIPLINARY COMMITTEE–we go back a long way…”

Yea, you bet. Well it just so happens you have some of your WORK UNIFORM stowed in your INSULATED PIZZA PACK that she can wear… and can she change that INDEX CA-

“PRESS PASS.”

Err, PRESS PASS to be a little… less conspicuous?

Pulling a marker out of her pocket, Pepper goes to town on the back of the card for a second before revealing her work: in place of ‘PRESS’ it now says ‘PIZZA’.

… close enough.

Anyways, you continue, if she’s gonna look the part she’ll have to play it too-that means acting like she’s part of the PIZZA TEAM!

“You don’t look like you’re part of the PIZZA TEAM at all, chief.”

Yea, well, you sigh, your UNCLE told you that you didn’t need to wear a uniform before you left-chances are he thought-

“You’d be able to blend in a bit better and stay at the party. Gotcha.”

Okay, she’s pretty darn sharp, but the interruptions are starting to piss you o-

“So what else do I need, huh?” Asks Pepper, clearly enjoying herself as the two of you slowly make your way back to your pizza. “Hey, maybe I can say some ITALIAN STUFF to blend in!”

Sure, you laugh, hey, let me tell you a few I hear in the kitchen all the time!

You’re just about finished with the variety of ways you can use ‘Puttana’ and about to move on to your personal favorite, ‘Cazzo’ when you spot someone, or someTHING messing with your PIZZA PACK!

HEY YOU!

“STRONZO!”

Hey, she’s pretty good at that! Oh, right, the PIZZA THIEF!

>ROLL 1d100+5 (+5 IRISH/ITALIAN RAGE) TO STOP THE THIEF! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS! Don’t forget to include HOW you stop him!

Rolled 88 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>5698515
SLIDETACKLE

Rolled 18 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>5698515
CHE CAZZO FAI?!

Rolled 99 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>5698515
WARM ITALIAN YELLOW SHOWER

>>5698548
Props to to the roll, but you're gonna have to explain that one, my friend

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>>5698551
Of course

>>5698552
Well okay then! I kinda expected that, but didn't know for sure! Here goes something!

>>5698525
>>5698544
>>5698548
>HIGHEST ROLL: 104!
Writing!

>>5698372
Sorry QM, not intentional. My extension retains the dice/options field between posts.

>>5698512
Deep Throat?

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Not on YOUR watch! Sliding down the stairs to where your pizzas are, you prepare to use the FORBIDDEN TECHNIQUE OF YOUR PEOPLE: WARM ITALIAN YELLOW SHOWER!

As you move to unzip your TRACK PANTS, it dawns on you that they DON’T HAVE A ZIPPER! OH SHIT!

Not keen on pissing yourself in front of your new lady acquaintance, you instead use your momentum to deliver a SLIDE TACKLE that could shatter bones into the thief’s side! With a pained cry, the PIZZA PILFERER is deftly launched away from your PIZZA PACK and over the railing!

That’s RIGHT!

“SANDCRAB, WAI- errm, I mean… “MADONN! He-a-notsa-be-a-thief-a, chief-a!”

… yea, her pronunciation could use some work… wait, what’s that about not being a thief?

“Uhh…. yea, man, no heinousness intended…”

Following the unfamiliar voice, you find yourself staring at the PIZZA THIEF holding onto the railing for dear life-his shaggy hair and orange sweater billowing in the sea breeze!

Who the hell are you, you snarl, and what were you doing to my pizzas!?!

“Happy to oblige, man,” Grunts the thief as a smile forms on his face, “But uh… you mind helping me up first?”

PE-erm, LYDIA, you begin, not taking your eyes off the stranger, do you know this guy?

“Eetsa RAJ!” Your companion replies, “He’s-a student-a! Mama Mia!”

“RAJ DAWOOD, brah.” Adds the climber as he moves to shake your hand, “Sorry about the scare, dude.”

He seems friendly enough, but your Nonna always told you to never trust anyone or anyTHING that tried to snatch your food…

What do?
>HELP HIM UP! BUT HE’S ON THIN ICE!
>LET HIM STAY THERE FOR A BIT! YOU’RE NOT SURE ABOUT THIS!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5698568
>Indian rep
Let's go

>HELP HIM UP! BUT HE’S ON THIN ICE!
also
>BOND WITH HIM BEING A PART OF AN ETHNICITY THAT SPICES THEIR FOOD PROPERLY

>>5698571
I can support this, especially the SPICY BONDING SESSION

>>5698571
Supportan.

With one addition: we say we'll help him up if he tells us his family's secret Garam Masala blend, just to mess with him, and then we help him up anyway after a few seconds.

>>5698568
>HELP HIM UP, THIN ICE
He seems familiar, maybe he's from GANESHI INDIAN TAKEOUTS

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>>5698571
Have to draw the homie

>>5698576
>He seems familiar, maybe he's from GANESHI INDIAN TAKEOUTS
I like this. We're just putting together a team of teenagers who work for family-owned ethnic restaurants.

Maybe we can even pull in a Japanese guy who does his takeout runs while blasting eurobeat...

>>5698576
We gotta make this a buffet then, most Indian restaurants are buffets, perhaps
>GANESHI INDIAN PALACE

>>5698581
>most Indian restaurants are buffets
I think I've only been to one that was a buffet place, and I've visited a number of Indian restaurants in the USA and the UK.

>>5698584
You're actually right, I withdraw the last statement, where I am in the US has an abundance of Indian buffets, I maintain the name though

>>5698559
:^)
>>5698557
Alright, but I've got my EYE on you, BOY
>>5698577
You spoil me, man. Absolutely love it!

>>5698571
>>5698573
>>5698575
>>5698576
>HELP HIM!
>BOND OVER ACTUAL SEASONING
Writing!

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>>5698595
Just sketching, take one more before the next post

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It takes you a moment or two, but once you hear it you can’t unhear it! Did… did he say his name was RAJ?

“At your service!” Raj grunts, still dangling from the side of the ferry like a very orange sprig of mistletoe! “Don’t think I’ve met’cha yet, man… you a transfer student or something?”

Not exactly, you shrug. Say, haven’t you seen him at GANESHI INDIAN TAKEOUTS? You're a sucker for their LAMB CURRY!

“Ha ha! Yea, I get that a lot…” Laughs the would-be thief as a seagull swoops by and takes a snap at his beanie. “Nah man, my mom and dad run D-MART though… y’know, the grocery store on Andale Street?”

You’ve passed it a bunch, but you can’t say you’ve been inside.

“Fresh-a produce at-a great price-a! That’s a SPICY meatb-”

You don’t even have a disguise yet, LYDIA. Just drop it for now!

“Oh hey, you’re Pepper’s friend?” Raj asks, his already-chipper voice becoming even chipper…er than before. “Good on you, man… hey, are you sure we haven’t met at school, cuz’-”

Yea alright, this guy seems okay… motioning for Raj to pause for a moment, you brace yourself against the railing before pulling him back over! Tumbling over the safety rail, your new acquaintance lands in a heap on the deck along with the BEATEN-UP SKATEBOARD he had cradled between his legs!

Wait, was he holding that the whole time?

“‘S’all about the mindset, dude.” He replies, peeling his stubbly face off the floor to give you a smile! “Linda and I go way back, y’know? If she falls, I fall!”

Pretty admirable of him, not gonna lie! Leaving Raj to collect himself, you turn your attention to your INSULATED PIZZA PACK and let out a sigh of relief when you find it hasn’t been tampered with! Wiping some sweat off your brow, you take the opportunity to reach inside and retrieve a COMPANY HAT for Pepper!

“No way!” Exclaims the skater as he leans over your shoulder, “You a PIZZA GUY, bro? Man, I definitely woulda’ known you if you went to GREENRIDGE!”

“Actually, he’s a SANDCRAB.” Explains Pepper with a wry grin. You can’t exactly see them through the tangle of black hair covering Raj’s face, but if you could you’d see they were bigger than satellite dishes right now!

“Woah…”

>CONTD.

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>>5698612
“So NOT from GREENRIDGE-gotcha loud and clear, bro.” Raj remarks as he nods sagely.

Yea, you shrug, so you’re kinda banking on people letting you crash on THE ISLAND tonight…

“No trouble at all, man!” The skater replies with a grin! “You’re delivering the ‘ZZA-how could they not let ya’ stay?”

That’s what you thought, you reply, but you’d prefer to be certain, you know?

“Well hell, everyone loves me there-you just let me vouch and baaaaam, PARTY CITY: POPULATION YOU!”

You can’t help but blink at how simple Raj thinks it all is. Is… is it really that simple?

“It really is, dude.” He replies with a nod, “My buddy SERGE was a senior last year, right? He said he just walked on in and didn’t even get frisked or nothin’!”

“That’s why the security’s much tighter this year, chief.” Interjects Pepper, clearly not keen on being forgotten. “The Groundskeeper caught him trying to cook a peacock with a MAKESHIFT FLAMETHROWER.”

The news report causes Raj to burst into goofy laughter!

“Always a kidder, that SERGE... ha ha!”

Well that’s swell to know, you respond, but if you were to, say, need to get someone inside without security knowing-

“Oh man, DANGER WITH A CAPITAL D!” The skater exclaims! “I heard VP JAKE is kickin’ it into OVERDRIVE this year, dude… can’t even walk up to the MANSION anymore-you gotta be driven!”

You blink. In what, a limo or something?

“Nah, brah, like a GOLF CART. They’ve got trails and stuff around the MANSION an’ all, but the driveway’s like… crazy long.” He grins at your PIZZA PACK. “Good luck carryin’ all that the whole way, man. Just take the ride is what I say!”

Taking a break from the cerebral overload that is Raj and Pepper, you find that the island is getting much closer-so much so that you can actually see the dense covering of trees enveloping the majority of the island.

“Talk about ‘out there’, right?”

Raj can say that again!

“Talk about ou-”

Got it the first time, thanks!

Looks like you’re nearly there-anything you wanna take care of before you arrive?
>TALK TO PEPPER SOME MORE!
>GRILL RAJ A BIT!
>CHECK YOUR PHONE!
>SAY HI TO THOSE GIRLS YOU SAW EARLIER!
>TAKE A STROLL AROUND THE FERRY!
>JUST CHILL FOR NOW!
>PEEK AT THE YEARBOOK!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5698614
>CHECK YOUR PHONE!
>TAKE A STROLL AROUND THE FERRY!
and if the opportunity arises,
>SAY HI TO THOSE GIRLS YOU SAW EARLIER!

>>5698612
>D-Mart
Loving this guy already

>>5698614
>HELLO LLLLADIES
Gonna have to rizz yourself up

>>5698614
>CHECK YOUR PHONE!
>TALK TO PEPPER SOME MORE!

>>5698618
>>5698620
>>5698621
THE TALLY:
>PHONE: 2
>STROLL: 1
>GIRLS: 2
>PEPPER: 1
Looks like we're gonna start with the PHONE and say hi to those LADIES we saw earlier! Writing what might be the last update of the night!

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As Raj and Pepper drift into a conversation about current events, you take the opportunity to catch up on some PHONEAGE! Whipping out your trusty device, you’re once more greeted by that ‘MISSED CALL’ notification from earlier along with a newer one telling you you’ve got VOICEMAIL! Neat!

‘YOU HAVE ONE NEW MESSAGE! FIRST NEW MESSAGE:’
‘Eeeey killer, it’s EMILIO! Hope they didn’t dunk yer dumb ass overboard yet!’

Heh, not yet!

‘So here’s the deal, kiddo: youse got enough pie there ta’ choke a few gorillas-RECEIPT’S in da’ PACK, so don’t even think of losin’ it!’

Oh shit, you stammer before fumbling with the backpack, where IS that damn thing…

‘With all the fixin’s and tax and whatnot it comes down ta’ SIX-HUNDRED AN’ FIFTY-FIVE BUCKS. That’s countin’ da’ GARLIC BREAD an’ CINNATWISTS too!’

Hell yes, they bought CINNATWISTS! Fishing out the RECEIPT from the bottom of the bag, you confirm the details on your end-yep, looks about right!

We already talked it out on da’ phone-you deliver the goods to MINA HAUSER, ya’ got ‘dat? MINA HAUSER! If these jamokes tell ya’ they already paid, that someone else is gonna handle it, yada yada yada, you tell ‘em where ta’ stuff it-I spent way too long talkin’ to these morons for you ta’ get the ole’ switcheroo.’

MINA HAUSER, you repeat to yourself, she was the daughter, right?

‘And listen, kid: once you make da’ handoff do yourself a favor an’ try ta’ stay da’ night, yea? Tell ‘em… I dunno, tell ‘em ya’ gotta stay ta’ supervise… CLEANUP or somethin’. Kids’ll probably too sloshed ta’ care about dat’ by the end of the night… have their BUTLERS do it or somethin’... Madonn…’

Man, life just keeps giving you INs, doesn’t it? Good ole UNCLE EMILIO…

‘One more thing: don’t worry about comin’ in tomorrow, yea? I figure you’re gonna need a day ta’ recoup an’ whatnot. Just bring da’ PACK back and you can DRINK, SMOKE, FIGHT, and LOVE all ya’ want-I ain’t gonna tell your dad!’

Hey, if he insists, right?

‘Alright, dat’s it, kiddo. I gotta get ta’ cleanin’-do your ole’ uncle a favor an’ try not ta’ have TOO MUCH fun, yea? Talk later, Diesel.’

‘END OF MESSAGES!’

Your uncle’s sign-off is punctuated by a dull beep. Satisfied for now, you’re just about to put your phone away when you see your bars… or lack thereof.

That explains why you didn’t hear his call… well, you yawn, stretching your arms over your head, they’ll probably have a signal extender on the island or something-no prob!

>CONTD.

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>>5698682
Rising to your feet, you make your way back to where your, uh, colleagues are sitting and give your INSULATED PIZZA PACK another once-over. Looks like Raj really was just poking at it earlier.

“Scout’s Honor, my man.” The poker in question responds before placing his palm over his heart. WAS he a scout?

“Used to be.” He sniffs, not bothering to elaborate any further than that. With that settled, you drum your fingers against the side of your jacket as you hear another squeal from the deck below you. Sure enough the two girls are still having an ICE CUBE BATTLE. They gonna do that all night?

“Never stops, ace.” Answers Pepper as she fiddles with the buttons on her REPORTER’S CAMERA. “TERRA tends to be pretty calm, but AYLA, well…”

“No off switch, man.” Raj concludes with a shrug. “Swimmers...”

“No worries, sandcrab-we’ll watch over the goods if you wanna reconnoiter…]” Adds Pepper as she gives you a look you can’t quite decipher. What’s with these people anyways?

She does raise a good point, though-did you want any of your new pals to come introduce you?

>GO IT ALONE. YOU DON’T NEED THESE GUYS CRAMPING YOUR STYLE!
>BRING RAJ! HE SEEMS LIKE A POPULAR GUY!
>TAKE PEPPER! SHE’S… KNOWLEDGEABLE?
>TAKE ‘EM BOTH! THE MORE THE MERRIER, RIGHT?
>ON SECOND THOUGHT, YOU’LL CATCH UP WITH THOSE TWO LATER…
>WRITE-IN!

>>5698601
Keep this up and I'm gonna ask to use it for the next OP pic, you sly DOG, you!

>>5698684
I have a feeling Pepper and Raj aren't exactly the most popular or diplomatory individuals alive, so...
>ON SECOND THOUGHT, YOU’LL CATCH UP WITH THOSE TWO LATER…

(And feel free! :))

>>5698684
>BRING RAJ! HE SEEMS LIKE A POPULAR GUY!

>>5698684
>ON SECOND THOUGHT, YOU’LL CATCH UP WITH THOSE TWO LATER…

Retired for the evening, but just wanted to clarify before I hit the sack:
>ON SECOND THOUGHT, YOU’LL CATCH UP WITH THOSE TWO LATER…
Means to not say hi to the other girls.
>GO IT ALONE. YOU DON’T NEED THESE GUYS CRAMPING YOUR STYLE!
Meant to say hi to the other girls WITHOUT Raj or Pepper.

Sorry for the confusion-still getting the hang of writing again so it might have come across in a different way than I imagined it. Thanks again for your patience and see ya around 10am PST, probably!

>>5698750
Thanks, QM! I dunno' about >>5698730, but I bet >>5698699 meant something else base don his commentary.

>>5698684
>GO IT ALONE. YOU DON’T NEED THESE GUYS CRAMPING YOUR STYLE!
I concur with >>5698699 plus we need them to watch over the ‘za. Pepper should at least have a motivation to protect it since it’ll be getting her into this grad party.

Glad to see you back at it, DB!

>>5698684
>GO IT ALONE. YOU DON’T NEED THESE GUYS CRAMPING YOUR STYLE!

>>5698750
Chancing my vote >>5698736 to
>GO IT ALONE. YOU DON’T NEED THESE GUYS CRAMPING YOUR STYLE!

>>5698684
>GO ALONE
If we fail miserably, there'd be less witnesses

>>5698750
>GO IT ALONE. YOU DON’T NEED THESE GUYS CRAMPING YOUR STYLE!
then

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>>5698730
>BRING RAJ!

>>5698772
>>5698797
>>5698808
>>5698853
>>5698960
>GO IT ALONE!

>>5698772
Thanks for joining! I've been having the quest itch for a while now-really glad you're giving this new one a chance! Hope you enjoy it.

>>5698853
Good call-wouldn't want to EMBARRASS yourself in front of your new friends, right? :)

>>5698960
then

Writing! Also check out the sweet new Quest Thread General OP Image by Indonesian Gentleman of JAIL QUEST! I guess Pepper's ready for Summer?

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Yea… you’re good. As friendly as Raj seems, you’re confident enough in your social skills to not need a character reference when talking to, y’know…

BABES.

As for Pepper, well…

Pepper’s Pepper.

Giving the girl in question a thumbs up, you instruct the two stooges to guard your PIZZAS with their lives. With their LIVES!

“That’s a major affirmative, man!” Replies Raj with a lazy, but still pretty spirited salute!

“Go get ‘em, tiger.” Pepper adds, throwing in a wink for good measure. This bitch…

You head about halfway down the stairs and out of sight of your new ‘pals’ before primping your hair a bit! Satisfied, you enter the maze of deck chairs and nearly slip on what appears to be a HALF-MELTED ICE CUBE!

“Whoops! Watch your step, man!” Exclaims the girl wearing the denim shorts and what appears to be an athletic swimsuit under her jacket, “Slipping hazard!”

Noticing your approach, the spectacled girl in the pink cat sweater immediately simmers down before retreating behind her athletic friend. Making your approach with a casual ‘suuuup, you’re pleased to find that the athlete responds with a smile!

“Just trying to stay awake for the big bash!” She explains as she opens up her jacket pockets to reveal HANDFULS OF ICE! “You want some?”

Err, you’ll think about it? Digesting your response, the darker-skinned girl’s eyes widen as she looks you over.

“Say… I don’t recognize you-ya here for the party?”

Kind of, you shrug, you’re the PIZZA GUY.

“Oh man, you’re gonna be POPULAR!” The girl laughs as her pink-sweatered friend eases up a bit behind her, “Any chance we can get an early slice? I’m STARVING!”

Can’t fault her on enthusiasm! Noticing her faux pas, the girl wipes her icy hand on her jacket before jabbing it at you for a shake!

“Right, name’s AYLA WELLER!” Ayla announces as she steps aside to reveal her pal, “And this is TERRA. Yes, she talks.”

DIESEL, you reply as you give Ayla’s hand a firm shake, DIESEL CRASH.

“Crash, huh?” Repeats Ayla, clearly trying to commit it to memory, “I’m gonna be honest, man, that’s one of the coolest last names I’ve ever heard! Right, Ter?”

“... Yea…”

“Ooh, high praise!”

Now that you’ve gotten their attention, what’s the play here?
>SO WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE ISLAND?
>YOU UH… DO SPORTS, AYLA?
>TERRA, WHAT’S YOUR STORY?
>ANYTHING I OUGHTA’ KNOW ABOUT THE PARTY TONIGHT?
>WHAT’S THE STORY ON (INSERT CHARACTER NAME HERE)?
>WRITE-IN!
>JUST SAYING HI! SEE YA AROUND!

>>5698973
>YOU UH… DO SPORTS, AYLA?

>>5698973
>SO WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE ISLAND?
>ANYTHING I OUGHTA’ KNOW ABOUT THE PARTY TONIGHT?

>>5697599
Test

>>5698973
>ANYTHING I OUGHTA’ KNOW ABOUT THE PARTY TONIGHT?
>WHAT’S THE STORY ON MINA HAUSER?

>>5698973
>>5699000 +1

>>5698983
>>5698985
>>5699000
>>5699002


THE TALLY:
>SPOOOORTS: 1
>ISLAND: 1
>PARTY: 3
>MINA: 2

Looks like we're asking about Mina and the Partaaaay. Writing!

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So, you begin, anything I oughta’ know about the party tonight? Drama? Beef? Secrets?

Ayla’s eyes light up the minute your question leaves your mouth!

“Dude, you don’t know the HALF of it! Let me paint a picture for ya:” Before you can ask, the athlete frames a nonexistent shot with her fingers like a director!

“GREENRIDGE doesn’t get a lotta’ transfers, yea? So pretty much everyone knows everyone… we’ve all been together for four years, at LEAST!”

“Lots of history…” Mutters Terra, earning an appreciative smile from her pal!

“Toldja she talked!” Ayla boasts! “So anyways, this is everyone’s LAST HURRAH, okay? Including MINA AND DARREN HAUSER!”

Wires connect inside your head. Those are the two kids of the island’s owner, right?

“A-Plus, kid!” Nods Ayla! “So this one’s shapin’ up to be the BIGGEST YET! We’ve got POOLS,” she begins as she counts off the perks on her fingers, “JACUZZIS, a LAGOON THING, FULLY-STOCKED SPORT COURTS, FRITZ’ band SEPSIS is gonna be playing, ooh, and don’t forget the CHOCOLATE FOUNTAI-”

“Maybe he’s not a… sports guy…” Interjects Terra in a slightly less-soft voice, deftly deflating Ayla’s ‘flow’

“... well, yea… there’s other stuff too, I guess…” She grumbles. “Anyways, the Hausers want to graduate with a bang, y’know? So this year oughta’ be the best one.”

Sounds like it’s gonna get a little rowdy, you chuckle.

“HAH! Good luck!” Scoffs Ayla as she and her friend share a knowing glance! “You’re clearly not from our school-JAKE has everything locked down with the DISCIPLINARY COMMITTEE. Dude made a presentation and everything before school ended on Friday.”

So what, you ask, aren’t they, like, students?

“Kiiiiinda?” The tomboy replies with a raised eyebrow. “They keep the school in order and all took mandatory CQC classes, right, Ter?”

“I think they hosted a seminar on hostage interrogation too…” Her friend mumbles. “... it was on a Saturday so I didn’t go…”

“But anywho, nothing to worry about, dude!” Ayla laughs as she gives your back a hearty (and somewhat painful) slap! “Just stay around the MANSION and play nice and you'll have a great time!”

“The native fauna can be territorial too…” Adds Terra with a serious expression. “Especially at night…”

“Ter’s a bit of an animal whiz.” Explains Ayla as she gives your ribs a nudge with her elbow. “But every year some kids go wandering off into the woods for some HANKY-PANKY and leave in a medical chopper… watch yourself, Crash!”

Yea, you reply as you brush off her knowing wink, you’ll uh… you’ll be careful.

“Smart man.”

>CONTD.

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>>5699034
Speaking of MINA, you segue, what’s the story on her anyways?

“Errr,” Stammers Ayla as the air starts to feel colder, “Why uh… why do you wanna know?”

She’s the one who’s paying you, you answer with a smile! Wouldn’t hurt to know who she is in a crowd!

“Ohhh, gotcha!” The swimmer sighs as her voice regains its pep! “Well no offense to her because it’s REALLY cool of her and Dare to put this party together,” she begins, “But she’s kind of a… what would you call it, Ter?”

“.... Ice Queen?”

“Bingo! Yea, that.”

Stuck up rich bitch, you remark with a sagely nod, that’s something you don’t see every day…

“She’s not that bad, honest!” Stammers Ayla! “She’s just got a lot on her plate, y’know?”

“Running Student Council isn’t easy…” Terra adds with a concerned sigh.

“And you didn’t hear it from me,” the tomboy begins before leaning in closer to you, “but the jocks all heard that Dare’s next on the list for the family business… not Mina.”

Ouch, you reply through clenched teeth, that’s uh… that’s rough!

“So don’t take it personally if she’s a little…” Ayla continues, letting her voice trail off for Terra to complete the sentence.

“Standoffish.”

“Standoffish.” Nods the jock. “She’s really pretty, though! And nice if you’re not a jerk!”

“Just don’t make her angry…”

“Yea,” Snorts the athlete with a knowing grin, “If she doesn’t getcha’ then JAKE sure will!”

“Shame she’s not into him…” Remarks Terra as she wistfully looks to the sky.

>CONTD.

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>>5699035
Well, you continue, what ab-

Your attempt to get another info dump is thwarted by the blare of an ear-splitting BOAT HORN!

“AlRIGHT!” Cheers Ayla with an enthusiastic hop, “Party here we come!”

Sure enough, the horn is followed by the crackle of an intercom!

‘ATTENTION ALL PASSENGERS: WE’LL BE ARRIVING AT HAUSER ISLE SHORTLY. PLEASE BE SURE TO COLLECT ALL PERSONAL BELONGINGS AND PREPARE TO DISEMBARK! WE WILL BE LEAVING FOR ORANGE CLIFFS AFTER REFUELING AND MAINTENANCE. IF I HAD TO GUESS I’D SAY YOU HAVE ONE OR TWO CHOICES LEFT UNTIL WE GET THERE. I’M NOT THE QM, OKAY? I JUST SAIL THE DAMN BOAT. I DON’T EVEN GET A CHARACTER PORTRAIT-AM I A MAN? WOMAN? YOU SURE AS HELL CAN’T TELL!”

“Welp!” Exclaims the tomboy as she and Terra hastily kick the ice off the deck and into the water, “You wanna walk with us, Crash? Me an’ Terra can be your bodyguards… for a few slices of pizza, that is!”

You’ve gotta grab your PACK, you explain, but you’ll figure it out once those GREEN CHOICES pop up later in the post.

“Okay! No rush!” Smiles the tomboy. “Catch us by the gangplank if you wanna!”

As the two girls prepare to disembark, you take a few steps over to the guardrail and lean over it. Peering in the direction the boat’s headed, you can already make out a DOCK nestled within an artificial cove-the landing lit up like a Christmas tree with lights and people!

Looks like you’re almost there–anything else before you arrive?

>TALK TO TERRA AND AYLA MORE!
>CHECK OUT THAT YEARBOOK!
>CHAT WITH RAJ!
>RECONVENE WITH PEPPER!
>JUST GET READY TO LEAVE… YOU’VE BEEN ON THIS BOAT FOR AGES!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5699037
>CHECK OUT THAT YEARBOOK!
Seeing a picture of Mina can't hurt

>>5699037
>CHECK OUT THAT YEARBOOK!
>RECONVENE WITH PEPPER!

>>5699037
>CHECK OUT THAT YEARBOOK!
>RECONVENE WITH PEPPER!
Need to know waht Mina looks like so we don't get bamboozled, all try to memorize Darren and Jake so we can earn Pepper's 'favor'.

>>5699039
>>5699044
>>5699045
>YEARBOOK!

>>5699044
>>5699045
>PEPPER!

Looks like we're heading back to look at that yearbook... and maybe check in with our resident 'journalist' too. Writing!

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You earn a pair of friendly waves as you bid the two girls farewell for now!

“Don’t be a stranger, Crash!” Chirps Ayla as Terra gives you a warm, if not somewhat sheepish smile from behind her, “We’ll be waiting for that pizza!”

Giving them a thumbs up, you make your way back up to your PIZZA PACK to find Raj fooling around on his board… LINDA, right?

“Right on the first time, bro!” He remarks as he successfully manages to stumble off of his companion. “Wanna see me do a kickflip?”

Maybe later, you shrug as you scan the area for your ‘partner’. Any clue where Pepper went?

“No idea, man…” Reports Raj as he takes another shot at the trick. “She didn’t wanna see a kickflip either.”

She’s probably just invading someone else’s privacy… she’ll be back.

Earning a shrug from Raj, you make your way over to the abandoned YEARBOOK you spotted before. You’ve got a few more names now-maybe you can find out what Mina looks like?

Thumbing quickly through pages of in-jokes, school events, and oodles of people you don’t recognize, you search takes you to the ‘H’ section of this year’s grads… and the pictures of the HAUSER SIBLINGS!

DARREN, or ‘DARE’ as Ayla referred to him, stares back at you with the quintessential ‘JOCK GRIN’-the type that oozes complete and utter confidence… enough to make you wanna take a shower. Black hair, blue eyes, and a pretty standard Senior Quote all things considered:

‘If you want something to happen, you gotta throw the ball first!’

Euch.

Hearing Raj take another spill behind you, you direct your attention to Darren’s sister: the raven-haired beauty staring into the camera like it just threw garbage at her. Ayla and Terra were right, you think to yourself, she looks like someone you don’t wanna tangle with.

Glad you’re just getting paid by her…

“Word on the street is she still sleeps with a stuffed bunny-”
AAAIIIIE!

>CONTD.

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>>5699114
Screaming like a little girl at the sudden voice in your ear, you topple head-over-heels onto the deck just as your skater pal lets out a triumphant cheer!

“D’aww man, you guys missed it…”

Pepper, you hiss as you get off the floor, you coulda’ KILLED her!

“... named ELVIS.” Concludes the red-haired reporter. “Doing your homework, I see-good on you, slick.”

Yea, you nod as your heart stops trying to pummel its way out of your chest, you wanted to brush up on who’s who!

“Trust me on this, chief: you ain’t gonna miss her.” Pepper replies as she takes a seat next to you. “She acts like she doesn’t want attention, but she thrives on the stuff…”

Well that sounds healthy! Flipping through the pages some more, you turn to the reporter for assistance. Does she know JAKE’S last name? He’s supposed to be in STUDENT COUNCIL…

“Pretty sure it starts with a ‘J...’ Mutters Raj before his face lights up with recognition! “Hey, Pep, isn’t he your-”

“No clue what you’re talking about, pal.” She interjects, making a point to avoid your gaze.
Oh son of a… flipping back to the ‘H’s, you find your target exactly where you thought he’d be: JAKE HORNSBY. Know him, Pepper?

“I’ve never met that man before in my life.”

Bullshit.

“Guess ya scooped me again, scout.”

… wait, you add as you examine the page closer, where’s Pepper’s photo?

“He’s a year ahead of me, slick.” She explains with a shrug. “He’s my older brother.”

But what about that DISCLAIMER ear-

“SNAFU with the school records, don’t read into it.”

So you’re not a senior, you growl, that means you're not actually allowed to be at the party?

“Neither are you, hotshot.”

Dropping it for now, you refocus your attention on the glasses-wearing redhead in the photo. Contrary to Pepper’s unshakable smug demeanor, Jake looks like he would drown you in a pool and make it look like an accident!

“Yea, he gets that a lot.”

His quote is no less inspiring:

‘Through uncompromising order: peace.’

And THIS is the guy running the DISCIPLINARY COMMITTEE??

“He does take it pretty seriously...” Shrugs Pepper as Raj beefs it again behind her. “But that’s why I chose THE BEST-”

Yea, yea, save it for someone who’s buyin’ it!

>CONTD.

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>>5699117
Okay, you huff, you think you’ve got a pretty decent grasp on the players now, but-

“Heeey, you guys lookin’ at the yearbook?” Asks Raj as he scoots over on his board. Yea man, you’ve been talking about it for two whole posts no-

“Ooh! OOH! Show us your photo, bro!” Commands the skater as he rapidly pokes the book! You’re not in it, remember? You don’t go to GREENRIDGE!

“He’s a SANDCR-”

WE GET IT!

‘Bummer, man…” Raj sighs as he drifts back and forth on Linda, “We all did these ‘Supernative’ things for ours… we got to vote for who’s most likely to do what and all that!” The skater grins like an idiot. “It was rad!”

Thumbing through the pages again, you manage to track down the ‘Supernatives’ your pal was talking about… along with a few familiar faces.

‘Most Likely to Become a Member of Congress?’

“Yepperoony!” Laughs Raj as his head bobs up and down like a ragdoll’s! “I’m just a caring guy, y’know?”

That’s definitely one way of reading it… let’s see here-’Most Likely to Commit High Treason…’

“Pretty prophetic..”

Wait, wha?

“HUH?!?” Exclaims Pepper with a confused look on her face! “Whuh?!”

Never mind… before you can check a few more, you feel Raj’s hot breath as he leans over your shoulder.

“Say, what did your fellow Sandcrabs give you, huh, dude?”

You’re pretty sure it was ’MOST LIKELY TO…
>WRESTLE A MOOSE… AND WIN! (BONUS TO STRENGTH CHECKS)
>BECOME A PROFESSIONAL GEM THIEF! (BONUS TO DEXTERITY CHECKS)
>SET A RECORD IN SPRINTING! (BONUS TO SPEED CHECKS)
>CHARM HIS WAY OUT OF A TICKET! (BONUS TO CHARISMA CHECKS)
>DISCOVER THE CURE FOR CANCER! (BONUS TO SMARTS CHECKS)
>WRITE-IN (CHOOSE A BONUS ABOVE, BUT WRITE A DIFFERENT SUPERLATIVE FOR IT!)

>>5699121
>WRESTLE A MOOSE… AND WIN! (BONUS TO STRENGTH CHECKS)
Why else were we named Diesel?

>>5699121
>>WRESTLE A MOOSE… AND WIN! (BONUS TO STRENGTH CHECKS)

>>5699121
>SET A RECORD IN SPRINTING! (BONUS TO SPEED CHECKS)

>>5699136
because we're fast

>>5699121
>SET A RECORD IN SPRINTING! (BONUS TO SPEED CHECKS)
Half hour delivery or the pizza's free (local area only) is a hell of an incentive.

>>5699121
>>5699144
Switching to
>>SET A RECORD IN SPRINTING! (BONUS TO SPEED CHECKS)

>>5698682
>‘Eeeey killer, it’s EMILIO!
>>5699117
>Pepper, you hiss as you get off the floor, you coulda’ KILLED her!

...ok, you're feeding my paranoia that our MC is actually a mafia assassin or something (Uncle Emilio literally calls him a killer!), and we don't just have pizza in that bag. After all, we had more than pizza in there - we did have our uniform, too.

So, for the vote:
>>5699121
>MOST LIKELY TO...
>KNOW WHERE JIMMY HOFFA'S BURIED! (BONUS TO STRENGTH CHECKS)

This is a reference to a high-profile unsolved disappearance (probably an assassination) associated with the American Mafia.

Even if the Mafia reference gets thrown out, I'll go with the highest-voted (BONUS TO STRENGTH CHECKS) option.

Alright, that oughta' be enough time for deliberation! Don't worry-there will be more opportunities for permanent bonuses AND penalties!

THE TALLY:
>>>5699136
>>5699165
>>5699195
>>5699201
>>5699212
>STRENGTH: 2!
>SPEED: 3!
Writing!

>>5699212
To be fair Pepper's a tiny little thing. As for Emilio, well, he's a fat Irish Italian-that stuff just slips out sometimes! I'm sure you're just imagining everything! : )

>>5699223
>Irish Italian
The Italian Mafia.
The Irish Mob.
...two of the most influential and feared organized crime operations in portions of 20th Century American history, particularly in New York. (The other one in the trio was the Jewish Mob. All three of them alternately fought and collaborated with each other over quite a long period of time, and had some interesting overlap.) ...and we're doing pizza delivery to an island, so I guess we're coastal somewhere.

Actually, you mentioned that our phone had no cell reception bars, but GPS is a satellite-based system where our phone only needs to pick up at least three satellite signals, so it should be able to tell us where we are, even without a cell connection.

Where is HAUSER ISLAND?

>>5699230
>Where is HAUSER ISLAND?
Hauser Island is one of several small islands off the coast of Orange Cliffs-a port city located in Southern California and several hours away from a beach community called Clearwater.
This quest, like my previous one, takes place in a world SIMILAR to our own, so places will have different names than their real world counterparts. Kinda like in Grand Theft Auto with Liberty City!

>>5699238
Oh fuck, we're in SoCal? Going to some magnate's private island several hours off the coast?

I will now begin assuming every character is a dickhead until proven otherwise, and I wish strength had won that last vote.

>>5699250
>every character is a dickhead until proven otherwise
This is pretty much how my characters usually go, yea

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Superlatives, huh? Leaning back in thought, you try to recall what your classmates gave you…
‘Most Likely to Bag a Supermodel’-that’s the one!

“Bullshit.”

Guess she scooped ya that time… no, you sigh, they nominated you as ‘Most Likely to Set a Record in Sprinting!’

“Ya didn’t look that spry when we first met, chief.”

Quiet, you!

“Got photographic evidence to prove it, too.”

Look, you do a lot better on SOLID GROUND, okay? This boat crap? It’s for the birds!

“Yea, the birds could really use a win…” Nods Raj in solemn contemplation. Yea… okay…

Anyways, you sigh, you get a lot of practice delivering ’ZZA, especially with those dicks that straddle the ‘Half an Hour Delay and the Pizza’s Free’ policy! You had to hit the rooftops a few times-it ain’t easy!

“And here you are delivering to an island…” Mutters Raj as he nearly falls off his board from a sitting position. “Most serendipitous…”

Yea, nah, you snort, that policy sure as hell didn’t apply to THIS little field trip!

“Speaking of, slick,” Pepper begins as she gives your sleeve a few tugs, “What say we get this show on the road?”

Sure enough, the ferry is already slowing down by the time you realize what’s happening! Stuffing the YEARBOOK into your INVENTORY, you rise to your feet and join your pals in watching your vessel roll into port!

Drifting past the two ‘arms’ of the artificial cove, you’re greeted by a handful of docks-there’s the metal variety, of course-the ones that rise and fall with the tides, and then there’s the permanent concrete ones-their surfaces scrubbed clean of algae and barnacles. Upon seeing your ferry, several dockworkers rush like ants to tie it down as the intercom once more blares across the deck!

‘ATTENTION PASSENGERS: NOW IS THE TIME TO DISEMBARK. AGAIN, PLEASE SWEEP THE AREA FOR ANY PERSONAL BELONGINGS BEFORE LEAVING THE VESSEL USING THE PROVIDED EXITS!’

Hoisting your PIZZA PACK onto your shoulders, you immediately remember why you put the damn thing on the floor in the first place!

“You good, bro?” Asks Raj as he places a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “I can grab some if you want!”

Nah, you groan as you try to ignore the bemused look on Pepper’s face, you got this! Leading the charge towards the exit, you can already see a few people leaving the boat: there’s Terra and Ayla, of course, but you must have missed a person or two!

Amidst a smattering of other grad bash-goers you notice a girl with skin whiter than milk, bright-red hair reaching down to her waist, and a black shirt that shows off her pale midriff above a red plaid skirt!

How the hell did you miss the GOTH!?

>CONTD.

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>>5699258
A firm kick to your behind breaks you out of the witch’s spell. Wh-where am I?!

“Keep going, chief, I wanna get into this party tonight!” Chides Pepper as you pick up the pace! Did she forget that you’re her IN?

“That depends on you, sandcrab.” She counters with a grin. “Don’t let me down, now!”

“Yea, don’t let her down, man.”

Thanks, Raj, you don’t plan on it… As you make your way to the ship’s exit, you’re sent off by the ferry’s captain: a slightly older man with a blonde beard and a pair of sunglasses on.

“Take care out there, now.” He warns as a smile creeps across his face. You too, dude…

“Thanks again, bro!” Adds Raj before hopping onto his board and riding it down the gangway! You and Pepper are barely halfway down when you spot them: six… no, SEVEN tough customers clad in white suits, mirror shades, and earpieces that they periodically speak into!

Idling further down the dock, the suits flag down the disembarkees before directing them all into a line where GOLF CARTS standby for pickup!

“DISCO…” Mutters Pepper as she leads you off to the side near a stack of steel crates!

Yea, they do look like they could tear the dance floor up, don’t they? Earning a frown from your partner, you quickly deduce that wasn’t her meaning.

“DISCIPLINARY COMMITTEE.” She adds, pointing at them again for good measure! “We gotta get past ‘em somehow, Diesel.”

Jesus, you sputter, those guys are STUDENTS?!

“Not all of them,” Pepper responds in a matter-of-fact tone, “Some of them are girls, y’know.”

Thanks, very helpful.

“What’s the hold up, amigos and amigettes?” Asks Raj as he rolls over to where you’re talking. “You uh… you guys need space or something?”

Motioning for him to wait a moment, you survey the situation and weigh your options…

>CONTD.

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>>5699261
First of all, you begin, the plan hasn’t totally changed: Pepper still has her DISGUISE if you want to get in that way. As if on cue, your partner dons her PIZZA MIND CAP and gives you an enthusiastic thumbs up. Super.

But there’s a few other things you notice as well-namely the beginning of what looks to be a TRAIL to the EAST of where the GOLF CARTS are carrying people up to the MANSION. If you hugged the crates and timed it right you could probably SNEAK IN undetected by the goons…

“Anything I can do to help, bros?” Asks Raj in an eager tone! Yea, you nod, there is, actually… with that SKATEBOARD of his he could probably CAUSE A DISTRACTION--that might make it easy to run for the trees…

“Not to interrupt your plans, champ, but take a look at that!”

Before you can ask, Pepper’s already got her CAMERA pointed down the beach! Following the lens, you notice a series of FLASHES in a copse of trees… upon observing it for a moment you notice it’s not random, nor is it a set pattern… is someone trying to SIGNAL YOU?

“If they know we’re here then that already complicates things…” Mutters Pepper as she moves to get something out of her skirt pocket. It’s cool, you say in a calm tone, it might not even be for us!

“Hey, I got a plan too!” Announces Raj with a twinkle in his… wait, does he even have eyes? Also since when did he get added to this mission?

“Hey, take me or leave me, bros-I’m just here for a good time!” Returning his GUN FINGAHS with two of your own, you motion for him to continue-what was his plan again?

“Oh yea, huh!” He laughs before beckoning the two of you over to the side of the dock, “If we wanna be all sneaky-like, why not just SWIM, dudes?”

“Let’s not and say we didn’t!” Exclaims Pepper with a remarkable lack of smugness! Geez, you scoff, he was just offering an idea… a really bad one given you’ve got PIZZAS to carry, but still-

“Yep, that’s the reason right there! The pizzas!” Pepper continues as she gives you both a vigorous nod! “No need to go swimming, nope!”

You’re inclined to dig a little deeper here, but seeing the way the girl looks at the ocean around you gives you pause. Might have to revisit that later…

“Alright, slick,” the reporter sighs, “What’s the play here?”

What indeed?
>TRY TO GET THROUGH USING DISGUISES!
>SNEAK OVER TO THE TRAIL!
>HAVE RAJ CREATE A DISTRACTION AND RUSH FOR THE TREELINE!
>CHECK OUT THE LIGHT!
>SWIM! YOU’RE PRETTY SURE THIS PACK IS WATER-TIGHT!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5699262
>TRY TO GET THROUGH USING DISGUISES!
Wasn't this the original plan anyways? We already knew we were going to have to probably take a golf cart, and that would involve vetting at some point.

>>5699262
>>SNEAK OVER TO THE TRAIL!
Let's test out that new speed bonus!

>>5699262
>TRY TO GET THROUGH USING DISGUISES!
Gotsta' get paid, and that means delivering 'zza in a timely manner. Pepper's thing is secondary, but this is also probably her best bet to get in s well.

>>5699262
>TRY TO GET THROUGH USING DISGUISES!
>You don't need to disguise yourself. You are are the 'ZZA Delivery man! You have a legitimate role to play here, and you need to collect payment from Mina for the PIZZAs upon your back. And you have been instructed to collect payment specifically from her by Uncle Emilio.
>That means the guards/DC must let you in, let you ride in a golf cart, even.
>WRITE IN:
>Pepper has the PIZZA MIND HAT, you're wearing your FASHIONABLE TRACKSUIT, but ...didn't you have a full uniform in your PIZZA PACK? Give that to Raj! And tell him to be quick about pulling it on over his clothes!

...seriously, we've got enough pizzas that we need a vehicle.

>>5699287
>a uniform for Raj
Sure, why not?

>>5699262
>TRY TO GET THROUGH USING DISGUISES!

>>5699267
>>5699281
>>5699287
>>5699298
>DISGUISES!

>>5699270
>SNEAKY SNEAK!

Writing!

>>5699267
Yep, but I always like to throw in a couple more options just to add some variety! Who knows? Sometimes the original plan isn't always as good as something else that pops up!

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The play’s the same, you reply, they’re gonna dress up and you’re delivering these damn pizzas… and no way in HELL are you lugging this bag all the way up that driveway!

“Don’t fret, bro-I’ve been on it before and it’s not that long!” Reports Raj with a fresh grin on his face!

“... though I was skating on it… downhill…”

There’s time enough for that later tonight, you mutter. For now just get your stuff on and leave the talking to ME!

Plopping the PIZZA MIND CAP on her head, Pepper gives you a reassuring thumbs up! As for Raj, you begin, you’re allowed in already, so…

… what are you doin’, bud?

“Blendin’ in, dude!” Raj replies as he finishes putting your PIZZA MIND UNIFORM on over his other clothing! “When in Rome, y’know?”

You really don’t, you huff, but whatever… heaving the PIZZA PACK onto your back, you get back on track and gather the pack!

Remember, you hiss as you and your gang of misfits make your way down the dock towards the LOADING ZONE, don’t do anything unless YOU tell them to do it!

“Eyes on the prize, chief…” Whispers Pepper from below her new hat. Oh, they’re ON it!

By the time you reach the line, Terra and Ayla are already gone and The Goth you spotted is climbing into a GOLF CART. As the two of you lock eyes for a second, you’re taken out of it by the tall, bald mountain of man looming over you in an immaculately-WHITE suit!

“Name?” He asks, not bothering to look up from a TABLET in his white-gloved hands.

DIESEL CRASH, you answer like the protagonist you are! Tapping away at his device, the bouncer lets out a long, weary sigh before looking up at you. “You ain’t on the list.”

Gee, that’s weird, you reply with a derisive snort! You’re dropping off food from PIZZA MIND-can he let you through already? It’s gonna get COLD!

“Oh, it’s you. Was wondering when the food was gonna get here…” Mutters the bouncer as he gives his TABLET a few taps. “You got the RECEIPT?”

Yea, you groan, you’ve got it in the bag… Ra-err, ROCCO, can you grab it please?

“Sure thing, brah!” Placing his SKATEBOARD on the ground, Raj dutifully produces the RECEIPT you found earlier and hands it to you with a smile!

“All yours, Jefe!”

“How ya’ doin’ tonight, Raj?” Asks the guard as he inspects the document.

GGRK!

>CONTD.

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>>5699345
You don’t believe in telepathy or anything, but as you and Pepper exchange panicked glances, you were almost certain you both just agreed on killing the skater through some kind of MENTAL LINK!

“It’s goin’, man… you shoulda’ seen the kickflip I did earlier…”

“Got any more left in ya? I’ve been dyin’ to see one…”

“The night is young, bro… the night is young!”

Wait a second, you stammer, is… you’re okay with Raj wearing the uh… uniform?

“Buddy, if you know Raj you know he’s doing stuff like this all the time.” Shrugs the bouncer as he hands you back your document. “We all learned to stop trying to make sense of it back in Freshman Year.”

“What can I say?” Asks the skater as he gives you a lighthearted shrug, “I got a rep, dude!”

Oh, you say with a few confused blinks, cool!

“Yep.” Whistling for a few pals, the bouncer and his companions hold their arms out expectantly. You’re about to give one of them a high-five when the ringleader speaks up:

“You’re good, man-we’ll take the pizza off your hands!”

EEEEH?

The DisCo guards raise their eyebrows in perfect sync.

“There a problem with that?”

A PROBLEM, you gasp as you feel Pepper’s stare boring holes into the back of your head, hell yea there is! You were sent here to deliver these to MINA HAUSER! Taking a moment to confirm first, you jab an accusatory finger at the group of guards! None of them look like MINA HAUSER!

“Yea, about that…” sighs the lead DisCo, “Jake called earlier and said she told him that she didn’t want you to miss the ferry home, so she figured you could just drop the food here and head home!”

Yea RIGHT, you snarl, your pointed finger now shaking with growing IRISH-ITALIAN RAGE! And how exactly are you supposed to get PAID, huh!?

“Right, she mentioned that too.” Continues the goon in a surprisingly calm tone! “She wanted to change the deal with the guy she placed the order with, but no one was answering the phone.”

Well of COURSE no one is, you groan, it’s sundown-your uncle’s probably blackout drunk by now!

“She made it a point to tell you that she’s sorry about the trouble,” Adds the guard, “But she’s prepared to pay your restaurant tomorrow along with uh…. What was it again, Sally?”

“Here ya go, Rich.” Responds another bald goon as she produces a NOTE from her white suit. Handing it over to you, you read it quickly and feel the color drain from your face.

“30% TIP AND a ‘LATE PAYMENT BONUS?” Remarks the lead goon with an impressed whistle, “Not bad, man! Plus you don’t have to lug all this crap into the house!”

“You lucked out, dude!” Adds Raj, clearly not registering the sheer ANGER in your eyes!

>CONTD.

>>5699346
Okay, you mumble to yourself as your mind wanders to all the ideas you had for that FAVOR you’re no longer gonna get, there’s a way to win this! Just gotta think…

>ROLL TO 1d100+5 (+5 DO IT FOR THE FAVOOORR, +5 IRISH-ITALIAN RAGE, -5 DisCos DON’T PLAY!) CONVINCE THIS GUY TO LET YOU THROUGH! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS! As always, write-in ideas/arguments can only help!

Rolled 1 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>5699347
My UNCLE who is WELL-CONNECTED with folks of IRISH-JEWISH-ITALIAN PERSUASION on the EAST COAST insisted that I get PAID before I leave. he SPECIFICALLY instructed me not to some back without MONEY. If I come back without money or at the very least a PERSONALLY CERTIFIED BANK DRAFT from NINA HAUSER, I'm not gonna' be delivering anchovies... I'm gonna be seeing them swimming over my head from the bottom of this SoCo BAY, ya' dig????!

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>>5699352
>1

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>5699347
uh... best of 3... maybe this'll be a 100 and save it?

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Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>5699347

We were instructed by Uncle Emilio to deliver these pizzas to Mina Hauser in person!

No Mina, no Pizza! You want I should lose my job? I have clear recorded instructions about delivering the party pizza.

>>5699346
>To whom it may concern...
There's no fucking way this is legit. Nobody who's supposed to be paying for party pizzas in this situation would be writing a note like that. At the very least, if they both wanted to pay us and get us off the island, all they had to do was send down the goons with cash in hand.

They're trying to get us off the island and not pay us, without any guarantee.

There's a good chance Mina is out of the picture - we've never seen her handwriting before, so how could we possible know if the note's legit?

>>5699352
>>5699353
You have failed Italy.

Then again, I only got a 31...

>>5699352
>>5699355
>>5699369
>HIGHEST ROLL: CRITFAIL! YEEEEOOOOWWWCH!
No worries, all-at least this was early on, right? Writing the last update of the evening!

Rolled 62 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>5699347
Past best of 3, but I'm curious what my roll would've been.

>>5699379
Womp womp!

I forgot to add the +5 to mine, is that helps, and you may have additional modifiers...

>>5699379
>>5699382
Horsequest could have waited... :(

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You feel your body start to heat up underneath your TRENDY TRACKSUIT as the reality of the situation sets in. No, you hiss through clenched teeth, I did NOT luck out, Raj! THIS IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF ‘LUCKING OUT!’

“That’s… still a lot of money, dude.” Replies the lead guard with a hint of concern in his tone. “Do you need to sit down, or-”


NO, you growl, you do NOT need to sit down! Hands clenched at your sides, you can feel your heartbeat in your forehead as you feel the anger flow through you!

The deal, you snarl as you SHOVE the NOTE into the bouncer’s chest, was that you got paid TONIGHT! MINA HAUSER! CASH. IN. HAND!”

“Sir, I’m gonna have to politely ask you to CALM DOWN…” The guard orders as his pals slowly form a circle around you! Calm THIS down!

Whipping your PIZZA PACK around for them to see, you jab a twitching finger at the PIZZA MIND logo! Do they even know who they’re FUCKING WITH!? EMILIO-FUCKING-CRASH, that’s who! And if they had any space left in their JAWBREAKER-SIZED BRAINS that wasn’t taken up by ‘HOW WEAR DUH SOOT’ they’d know the kind of SHEER POWER that man has at his hairy fingertips!

“Call JAKE.” Hisses the lead guard as both Raj and Pepper slowly back away from you.

Call THE PRESIDENT, you roar! Because when EMILIO says to GET PAID BEFORE LEAVING, you GET PAID! And if I don’t come back with money, we’re AAAAAALLLL GONNA BE PAYING THE ULTIMATE PRII-

Somewhere in the middle of the word ‘price’ you feel yourself being lifted off the ground and flipped. It’s only moments before your head comes crashing down to the pavement that you realize what’s going on:

Crap, you think as you see both Raj and Pepper watching in utter shock, this guy’s PILE DRIVING y-

>CONTD?

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>>5699395
sel… Diiiiieeeseelllll….

You awaken in a vast, pink void and find yourself in the midst of a floating sensation… as if your whole body was made of warm cotton candy.

It’s warm here. Kinda nice.

“Dieeeeselll….”

Your vision swims. Blinking in protest, you reel backwards when you notice an amorphous dark shape approaching you!

It takes you a moment to realize it’s calling your name in a feminine voice…

“Diiiiieeeeseeelllll…”

You strain your eyes, will them with your jelly-like mind to do their damn job and focus, but it’s fruitless. It’s only when the shape comes REALLY close that you see what it is…

>... MOM?
>... MINA?
>... PEPPER?
>... AYLA?
>... TERRA?
>... WRITE-IN (SOMETHING ELSE?)

>>5699399
SECRET RUSSIAN SPY SECRET RUSSIAN SPY LET'S MAKE THIS UNNECESSARILY MORE ZANY

>>5699399
>... WRITE-IN (SOMETHING ELSE?)
Your martial arts teacher, and she's disappointed in you.

>>5699399
>...MY RUSSIAN DOUBLE-AGENT KUNG-FU MILF WAIFU FROM MY UNCLE'S FAVOURITE 70'S TV SERIAL?

>>5699402
>>5699405
I must redeem my failure in wacky spiritual mentor figures

>>5699399
>MY FAVORITE VTUBER PROFESSOR GAMUGO?
Because I love franchise continuity.

>>5699399

>>5699405
>>5699402
Both of these

>>5699402
>>5699408
>>5699405
>>5699544
>DOUBLEAGENTKUNGFUMILFWAIFURUSSIANSPYMARTIALARTSTEACHERESSMILF
Alright, you psychos, let's see what Santa can do...

>>5699498
>GAMUGO
Cheers, anon!

Writing!

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TTSSSSSSS!
Oh, it’s a lit cigarette in your eye.

Reeling back in ash-induced agony, your basic human reaction is chided with a series of ‘tsk’s.

“Pathetic.”

Wait a second, you growl, still picking ash out of your eye, you’d… you’d recognize that gravelly, disillusioned voice anywhere!

M… MOM?

You’re rewarded with another cigarette burn.

“No, thankeenk god...” Grumbles the familiar voice dripping of borscht and suicidal novelists. “Open your eyes, Dieselchik.”

You oblige and find yourself staring blurry-eyed into a rack no amount of head trauma could make you forget.

Not to mention the woman attached to it: MASTER LAIKA KALASHNIKOVA: your MARTIAL ARTS TEACHER and the best extracurricular activity you’ve ever signed up for.

That’s not important right now though-still dazed and confused, you ask just what the hell she’s doing in your dreams!

… and why she’s not doing, y’know, the stuff she usually does in your dreAAAAUGH!

“Quiet, boy.” She snaps as she applies her cigarette to your face again, “I am your master, even een your dreaminks.”

Yes ma’am.

“Good, good…” She purrs, staring at you with her one remaining and very impassive gray eye. “Plank position, Dieselchik. NOW.”

Placing your forearms on the pinkish… ground, You straighten out and take a long breath as you feel your instructor take a seat on your back. So uh, you stammer as she gets comfortable, wh-why are you here, exactly?

“I came here to laugh at you.” She scoffs before taking a long drag from her cigarette. “Which, considerink thees ees your mind is…” A pause. “Messinged Up.”

Alright, you grunt, already feeling the burn in your abs, so this isn’t one of those nice dreams, then?

“Only time vill tell…” Your master remarks as she blows smoke in your face. “Hold zee positionink.”
>ROLL 1d100 TO HOLD ZEE POSITIONINK! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>5699647
HOLDING POSITIONINK

>>5699650
FUUUUUCK MY LUCK RAN OUT

>>5699652
It's like you WANT more cigarette burns

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>5699647
FDHJSHFDSFDKSFJHKSVFWE

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SOMEONE ACTUALLY FUCKING ROLL AND ROLL GOOD