OH SHIT NIGGA, you are Quattro Del Petto. Cool chill skeleton. Once you were in the running to rule over your siblings but got beaten down by your sister.But soon you will have your revenge! For now you have convinced everyone to join your Skeleton Fight tournament on the moon. That should occupy them enough for you to do whatever you need to fully commence your rebellion and finally take down your domineering sister, Shotasniffer!
Rolled 7 (1d100)Quattro the chill genius. Quattro the calm, relaxed, yet dread master of skeletons.They dont know this whole tournament is just another sham. A feint. A distraction. Quattros one step ahead them all awlays.
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5650725Order anabolic steroids off boneplanet.com we gotta be ready
>>5650727Would you, Quattro, sully the sanctity of this contest via cheating?
>>5650728Pshaw, do it any day of the week and twice on sunday.Reds wont suspect a thing
Rolled 21 (1d100)So anyway, plant bombs all around the space station
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5650735Meanwhile shotasniffer
>>5650735try doing some bone yogaloosen up thebones
>>5650736Really anon? You would take away screentime from poor innocent Quattro?
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5650739Quattros a fucking loser and I'm the only one who bothered to show up to his pity party. What a FREAK
>>5650740How could you say such a thing to a face like this
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5650741Just a bit to see how bad she's quaking in her boots.She's going to fear us as she's hears this announcement
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5650747"I give him a month until his entire plan collapses."
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5650749"He really needs to learn about responsibility, if he only knew that I knew about his dealings with villains that will inevitably betray him, his secret bases, and his...urges."
>>5650751Urges?! What urges? There's no urges. Shut up about these non existent urges.
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5650752Yeah, definitely not those urges encouraged by that weird book who keeps singing about how age is just a number for some reason.
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5650755Man, Rasputin should take a chill pill, that book's got the ri-I MEAN, TOUCHING LITTLE GIRL BAD, BAD BOOK
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5650755Alright let's get an overview for all the background shenanigan's happening
>>5650757>>5650758Alright, lessee, the tourney's already underway, it seems. Battles are happening all over the surface of the moon.
>>5650759Check out how the ingredient questin' and army buildin' is going, maybe ship them something if they aren't making much progress
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5650759Then we better hurry up and collect the ingredients for the Ultimate Drink™. The Tournament isn't going to last forever.
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5650759>>5650760>>5650761
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5650759The native moon people aren't happy about this.
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5650762Quick, roll 1d100 to see how your minions are doing
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5650764Doing fine (maybe)
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5650764Maybe the Quatt has to step in and show them how it's done
>>5650767"Making great progress, bro"
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5650769Show collage of our Flagship being constructed and our Dojo fighters training.
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5650773Very nice. Prepare a shuttle, we're going down to Earth to begin collecting the ingredients.
>>5650774Alright, so will you be bringing anybody with you or will this be a solo mission?
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5650775Bring the Chosen Apprentice, this adventure will help him grow to become a Champion of the Chillsaders. Rosa can come too if she wants.
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5650778Adventure time! Now, which ingredient to go after first?
>>5650779Alright, so each ingredient is kept within its own temple. And the first one you're aiming for is:A. On a remote, hidden island in the middle of the oceanB. In the middle of a desertC. In a secret valleyD. Deep inside an ancient jungleE. On a hidden mountain rangeF. Shotasniffer's bedroom
>>5650780Captcha ate my image
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5650780>In the middle of a desertBreaking in to an ancient desert temple to steal shit? Hell yes.
>>5650782Destination confirmed, lessagoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5650784Ken and Jeanne are watching the shuttle leave through a window on the Space Station.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5650788They'll run the station just fine in our abscence
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5650788Time to figure out where the fuck Marian has gone.
>>5650792"Isn't it strange that Quattro suddenly has a jump in tech as soon as Marian went missing""Makes ya think, doesn't it"
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5650794It's time to Metal Gear Jeanne this Space Station. Marian has to be here somewhere.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5650794>>5650797Jeanne's obsession with the cardboard box
>>5650799"You should....get in the box with me, Ken"
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5650800'No, I need to run communications from this other cardboard box here. You better get going, Jeanne. Who knows what Quattro has his minions doing to Marian.'
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5650800>>5650801Besides, it's dark in there
>>5650801"Fine....You'll come around soon enough...."
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5650803Skeleton Island 3: QUATTRO'S COUNTERATTACKaka "Why Shotasniffer Should Not Leave Her Siblings To Their Own Devices For A Month"
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5650803No time for that, go sneak now Jeanne.
Rolled 21 (1d100)oh shit a thread>>5650803that's a ranobe title if I've seen one.>>5650803at least no one sings about snakes
>>5650804AKA OP should really check his internet
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5650821>>5650805
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5650821space wifi is at it again?wack router real hard
>>5650830Net aint looking good tonight, lads
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5650850Should probably get the damn thing fixedGuide Jeanne in a Codec style conversation
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5650850Try turning OP off and on again.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5650850post pone adventure due technical difficulties and go play some jRPG and chill at this nice sunday evening
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5650859'I managed to geolocate the last use of Marina's gamertag to the staff only areas of the Space Station. You should begin your search there, Jeanne.'
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5650862The ones that say "CHILLSADERS ONLY"
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5650862'I wasn't able to accurately pinpoint it's origin, but the Staff Area includes [The Break Room], [The Security Station], [The Loading Bays] and several locations only labled [OFF LIMITS]. You might need a Chillsader ID to pass through these zones undetected.'
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5650868He's most likely in the area marked "Robot Lab"Oh no, not again
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5650868change radio UI to yellow
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5650893>>5650870
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5650893Think about how the perfect drink will be yours one day.
>>5650896The perfect drink? Don't be silly, Ken, why would you want that
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5650893perfect>>5650898Ken just wants his sprite, while on board there is only fanta
>>5650904Fuckin' yellows. Hopefully Jeane finds Marian soon so you can get off this madhouse
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5650907Now let’s see what…whoeverthefuck is pushing the main plot forward right now.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5650907Check up on the skelly bros
>>5650911Then surely you mean Quattro and his epic quest for the ultimate drink, the elixir that will elevate his power far above Shotaniffer! And perhaps....even his dad!
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5650916Yea, and it's minigame made as old point and click adventure.Now use that rubber chicken on everything around you
>>5650918"Master, why are you slapping that rubber chicken on everything?""Fool, Quattro's employing a super secret technique in order to solve this temple's secrets. We're not yet at the level to understand these methods""Ah, I see"
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5650916Wait I thought it was whoever was in the tournament??
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5650923Now, Quattro ship arrive to the pyramids of the tomb kings.
>>5650926"Now that we've moved deeper inside the pyramid, his rubber chicken slapping is still meant to discover its secrets, right?""Of course!"
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5650930I mean rubber chicken exist for a reason, I'm sure of it!
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5650931Surely the devs won't just give you a bum item that does nothing! Who would do such a thing?!
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5650930*Suddenly, the rubber chicken does something*
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5650933There is like 7% they didn't!
>>5650937a fukken' one
>>5650937HEY EVERYONE! LOOK! THIS ANON ROLLED A 1
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5650940if you look at it at the angle, 1 looks almost like 7it's not that bad number
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5650940Same as the guy who uses a rubber chicken to detect traps
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5650940HA!>>5650944Take the 1.
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5650940Tomb King army of skeletons inserted Laughing track
>>5650944Anyway, Quattro finally notices that the room he's in is sloped. And a giant boulder has just been dropped into the other end. A giant bolder that thanks to the sloped room, will now proceed to roll towards Quattro at high speeds to crush him
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5650952PUNCH IT
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5650952Talk to it.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5650952use rubber chicken on it
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5650956My god...could this be?! The actual use for the rubber chicken?!Roll 1d100
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5650963Sacrifice the rubber chicken as a decoy.
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5650963nyeh
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5650963
>>5650988Did it have any effect?
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5650988RUUUUUUUUUUUBBER CHIIIIIIIIIICKEN NOOOOOOOOOOO
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5650988it bounced back
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5650994Shit
>>5650990>>5650995How can life be so cruel
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5651002shed a manly tear
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5651011The scarifice of Rubber Chicken will never be forgotten. We will drink the Ultimate Drink in his honor. Now, onwards!
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5651011>>5651015what he said
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5651015this
>>5651015"So...uh....how does grieving over a rubber chicken help?""Can't you see?! A true martial artist must never close their heart to the suffering of the world! Only when you can feel with your fists will you be on the true path of enlightenment!""Aaaah, I see. Master Quattro is truly wise"
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5651025Enter into the Treasure Chamber, we must find the ingredient.
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>5651025well either that or just in dramatic mood
>>5651027And there, you find....A. A room full of devious traps, like some sort of obstacle course you must clearB. A magical guardian, who you must destroy in combatC. bothD. Shotasniffer, for some reasonE. [This space for rent]
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5651036C, but the magical guardian wants to test whether you're pure of heart first
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5651036C, triggering too many of the devious traps will awaken the Guardian.
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5651036EMANLET RIDER EMERGES
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5651036>E. [This space for rent]But it's literally just a vacant space with a 'For Renting' sign.
>>5651039NO! IT CANNOT BE! THAT FORM! THAT STANCE! THE POWER RADIATING FROM SUCH A SHORT STATURE!
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5651045IT CAN!MANLET RIDER IS HERE TO FIGHT EVIL (us), ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO ARE HIGHER THAN HIM!INSERT THEME SONG AND EXPLOSIONS IN BACKGROUND!
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5651045This will be a fight of our lives. get ready to scrap
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5651045It's just 2eeb
>>5651050Damnit, of all the times to run into the Defender of Justice and all short kings, just had to be today
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5651059You're full of shit, rider. I never even did anything wrong. Get ready to die
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5651059Though it is an excellent time to test our Chosen Apprentice. Have him duel the midget man to push his limits beyond what he is capable off.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5651059Engage in hot blooded one on one battle!GO GO LET'S GO!You won't win this time, Manlet Rider!
>>5651062"SENDING YOUR MINION IN BEFORE FIGHTING YOURSELF? NO MATTER HOW MANY YOU THROW AT ME, THE FLAMES OF JUSTICE IS NEVER ENDING! GOBBO KICK!""I AM NO MERE MINION! YOU WILL KNOW THE POWER OF THE QUATTRO SCHOOL OF MARTIAL ARTS, MANLET RIDER!"
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5651071Quickly, while manlet rider is distracted, get past him to acquire secret ingredient!
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5651071>>5651072"I SHALL TAKE YOU DOWN IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE! AND SHOTASNIFFER'S NEXT SONG, TRAITOR"
>>5651072There it is. The first of the sacred ingredients. Held within this ancient container.
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5651084>>5651076QUICK GRAB IT
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5651084You need something of the same weight to not activate ancient trap, quickly check your inventory of random crap to find suitable item!You have limited time while Manlet Rider is distracted!
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5651086Attempt numero unoThe puzzle has a +20 bonus
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5651093Piano? Not it.pile of gold? not useful eitherLong lost ancient summon scrool of chinese giant robots? nahOh, can of Fanta!It'll do!
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5651093We've got this, it's one of the mugs from the space station. It weighs just enough to not activate the trap.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5651098Look at that happy mugfeels good to have job nice donewait, ain't we forgetting something?
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5651098All the fighting disturb and awoken the Tomb King and his rest of skeleton army,
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5651098With that done, let's relax and watch our Apprentice duke it out with the Manlet. Good thing we brought those folding chairs and coconut drinks.
>>5651101Hmmmm....what are we missing
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5651117>>5651076
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5651117Rosa is such a good girl, taking notes on the battle.
>>5651117Probably nothing we have budget for....oh, Manlet Rider's bike, we can steal it!yoink
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5651117>>5651122awfuck
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5651132What
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5651132Hm, turning around would result in increased budget.Oh look, a penny!And secret exit from the temple.And even souvenir stand!Really nice, let's check it out.
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5651132ROSA LOOK OUT
>>5651134Man, it's so great to complete this mission with zero surprises whatsover. And this wall you're staring at, it's so nice. Almost makes you wish you don't have to turn around and check on Rosa and your disciple
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5651148Rosa makes sure the manlet never gets up again.By killing him to death. Like she just absolutely destroys him. Nothing left.
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5651148eh, they'll be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiineLet's check this souvenir stand anywayManlet Rider let go of himself since he doesn't ride that much more than before.Truly a shame,
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5651148Go out the other way, never turning back>>5651152
>>5651151The hell is going on back there
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5651155resist urge to turn around quattro!We don't have the budget!we blew it all on cameo alone
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5651155Must be the requsite Rider Kick moment where the guy teams up with the Rider to defeat a greater enemy, never mind that.>>5651154
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5651155No time for that now, the wall has a map carved in to it that leads to the next ingredient! Study it closely.
>>5651157It's true. Which means in order to save budget for the actual important fights. We will now cut to something else whenever you get into a fight, Quattro.
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5651161Mourn the chicken some more instead
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5651161We return back to the Metal Gear Jeanne section on the space station while Quattro cleans up in the tomb.
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5651161give OP 5 bux to fuck off
>>5651164Welp, that's it for this session, see you all tomorrow.Updates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5651166thanks for bread OPI hope you understood I just wanted to do variation on giving money to OP in this format, and not being rudeAnd it's 2AM+ you have been doing thread for most of the day, time for rest.
>>5651168where do you think gulag located anon
>>5651170the vietcong will die
>>5651167I know, I am also using your post as an excuse
>>5651176aw yeaaaaagood shitphew, good, we need our beauty sleep OP, totally not playing some vidya backloggotta keep our roundeness
>>5651166Night OP! Get some good rest now!
>>5650811>that's a ranobe title if I've seen oneWe go further to a Japanese light novel every day, with an idol protagonist and everything
Not since Fester have I ever wanted a protagonist of the NAPverse to fail horribly.
>>5651714But Quattro is the coolest. He won skeelton island until Reds cheated and all the other skellies are so shit. Especially Reds. They cant even beat goats only won through CHEATING............... everything will be quattro
>>5651731IM NOT BOBBY FUC KU
>>5651640"How I woke up as skeleton on Island full of family feud : My new slow life as bartender">>5651714If Quattro will succeed despite obvious people trying to railroad it into failure - it'll be truly glorious
>>5655552What does it mean?…WHAT DOES IT MEAN???!??!!!?
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5655552Loot manlet rider
>>5655556"Begone, bread apparition"
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5655560I mean Quattro loot Manlet rider cause we knocked him out right
>>5655561Perhaps, Quattro Del Breado
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5655566hey we're not a piece of bread, we're a skeleton
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5655568>>5655566We might be a bone bread? That’s a thing right??
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5655571Now we LOOT manlet rider.
>>5655572"Damn you, Quattro. Justice will always prevail in the end"
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5655573End him. This is the last ride of the Manlet Rider...
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5655573“You’re goddamn right it will.”Begin to very awkwardly loot everything off of him while he’s still conscious.
>>5655575"Kill me if you will. The next Rider will come for you. So will the rest of the heroes. You will be taken down and your mad quest for the drink will end! Perhaps even by the greatest hero of all, Shotasniffer!"
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5655579"Then I'll just have to kill them aswell. The drink, will be mine, and with it I will claim my legacy."
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5655579>>5655583
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5655584>>5655583>>5655579>+1
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5655590"My legacy."Then make Manlet Rider dead.
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5655590sex drugs and rock and rollwoooooo niggerrr
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5655590>>5655596>>5655597But don’t say the second part out loud.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5655600Now roll 1d100 to say bye bye to manlet rider
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5655600yeah that was exclusively for OP's ears
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5655603Send him back to Fortnite.
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5655603MY LEGAAAAAAAAACY
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5655603let's fucking go
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5655603Yes hello I am awake for Skeketons
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5655609MANLET RIDER ESCAPES????
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5655609AY YO WHAT THE FUCK!!!
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5655609>roll is too late to be countedThis is so sad.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5655609Grab the cycle and smash Manlet Rider with it.
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5655614QUICK! GRAB IT!
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5655616Use it!
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5655616FUCK HIS SHIT!!!
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5655620oh shit
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5655629PERISH
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5655629Finish him!
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5655629Smash!
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5655638Is he dead?
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5655638Keep slapping that fuck into the ground.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5655650Did he drop any loot?
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5655652Roll 1d100 for loot search
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5655655
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5655655Activate our [STAND ABILITY]
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5655655Take his pocket change.
>>5655657You got:- 20 bucks- Broken transformation belt- Signed Limited Edition Bunny Shotasniffer Card
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5655662Neat, Marian could probably get the transformation belt working again. Maybe Rosa would like to use it.
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5655662What's the next ingredient?
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5655662Buy a McDonalds with the 20 bucks.
>>5655667With this temple done, you can now head to the other locations, as told by that demon book:A. On a remote, hidden island in the middle of the oceanB. In a secret valleyC. Deep inside an ancient jungleD. On a hidden mountain range
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5655674>B. In a secret valleyGrand Canyon trip!
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5655674>A. On a remote, hidden island in the middle of the oceanEpstein's Island
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5655674>A. On a remote, hidden island in the middle of the oceanIt has an old castle on it. More Indiana Quattro'ing is at hand.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5655683Meanwhile, on Metal Gear: Jeanne...
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5655690Where is the mandatory ventilation shaft that lets us get into the secret rooms?
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5655690Knock that guard out before he sees us.
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5655691Roll 1d100 to find said convenient ventilation shaft
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5655695Where is it?
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5655695It's there, behind OP!
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5655698Maybe the guard has an access card. Knock him out and take it.
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5655698OP stole the vent when we weren't looking. Beat him up before he escapes.
>>5655701I dunno whatchu talking about
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5655702Fine, knock out the guard and take his access card.
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5655703
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5655706!
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5655706Get him, quick!
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5655715"What was that noise?"
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5655715Did he have a card on him?
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5655720Roll 1d100 to search 'em
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5655721GameStop membership card... A Chillsader starter deck... BlockBuster rental... Ah-ha! There it is!
>>5655722With the key card acquired, Jeanne can now continue deeper into the facility.While OP takes a nap. Bread will continue in about 5-6 hours.Probably.Updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5655986Now comes the part where we faff around for 3 posts before going back to the quest
>>5655990You know me so well
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5655995Do the thing, OP
>>5655999Steal anon's wallet, got it
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5656009Exploding Wallet trap triggered
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>5656014Everyone died
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>56560143 posts are upBack to Jeanne opening the door to Robotics (definitely NOT MARIAN'S ROOM)
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5656021Knock"Is this my daily yaoi doujin delivery?"
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5656021Quadttro del Lifto did you skip leg day again?
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5656027It's a trap, everyone knows Marian rubs his bones to degenerate robot yuri action
>>5656027"You heard me right."
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5656027USE THE PASSCARD
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5656027to be fair, there's absolutely been weirder sex shit done in this family.
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5656038"KNOCK FIRST!" Marian covers whatever was on his monitor (your choice OP)
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5656038IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK JEANNE I'M ACTUALLY SABOTAGING QUATTRO FROM THE INSIDE SO THAT WE GREENS CAN TRIUMPH
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5656046Look Marian, just come back and tell us what you are planning, I don't want to miss the new Gundam-"WITCH FROM MERCURY SUCKS"
>>5656048"The fuck are they arguing about"
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5656055And now Jeanne is shooting at him.Be peeved that they only have 7-Up in the fridge
Rolled 41 (1d100)>see bread>go to sleep>wake up 10 hours later>op's still at it
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5656061A can of Sprite suspiciously rolls outside the door
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5656061Marian counterattacks with a taser
>>5656062"Maaan I gotta wait til they finish arguing about their nerd shit until we can g--Oh shit is that a Sprite"
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5656064Sprite chase
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5656068IT'S ROLLING TO THAT EMPTY ROOM
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5656071Trip over the can, classic physical comedy
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5656071>>5656073Door closes behind you
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5656078At least you got your sprite
>>5656079Now, who could have locked us in here
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5656081Think as you drin-OH SHIT BEHIND YOU IT'S HER LOOK OUT
>>5656082OH MY GOD WHO
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5656086"hello museum robber"KEN? KEN?? KEEEEEEEEEEEEN!Rasputin has gotten his next victim
>>5656087"Damnit, he's not picking up, this is all your fault, Marian""What?!"
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5656093First Lily ran away and took the shuttle, then Luke ran after her and we lost communication, then Chosen One disappeared, and now Ken's missing.All linked to them trying to deal with Quattro's stupidity.
>>5656096"You wouldn't know anything about that, would you, Marian?""uhhh"
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5656098Look, I'm trying to secretly sabotage Quattro's robot so that I can get an edge while Big Sis has went out on her concert. I don't know anything except Chosen One trying to attack us and getting captured by-OH GOD I KNOW WHO'S BEHIND THIS ENTIRE PLAN
>>5656101"Who?! Spit it out!""IT'S...IT'S---"
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5656107"Too late for the both of you"
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5656109"Oh shit" - Olessa
>>5656112"What's wrong?""Something terrible has happened, I can feel it"
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5656116Right in the middle of feeding the skeletal sea monster too
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5656118Looks like you have to investigate this horrible thing.And Quattro being a massive idiot and trying to rebel with his very obvious secret bases too.
>>5656120There's also the whole moon tournament thing, and the fact that Luke and Lilly still haven't make it back yet
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5656126For the moment we go back to Quattro as he consults the book
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5656126Ponder about what to do.Ponder hard.
>>5656127What further secrets could Quattro learn
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5656132shhh don't be so loud no one's supposed to know you have him with you
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5656134Open le book.
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5656134Zoom to Rosa and the disciple who definitely did not pocket the Signed Limited Edition Bunny Shotasniffer Card
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5656138LE GASP!
>>5656140Oh my god.Anon is french.He must die
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5656141SACRÉ BLEU
>>5656145My god, now there's two of them
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5656146Quattro kicks innocent French
>>5656148As Quattro commits crimes against the french peoples. OP gotta head out for a bit. Be back in like 4 hours
>>5656152What is 4 hours?
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5656339It's SHOTASNIFFER TIME
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5656348back to disciple secretly pocketing the signed bunny shotasniffer card
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5656352Rosa no it's valuable
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5656352Damn you OP, you're just hoarding all the shotasniffer stuff to yourself!
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5656387>>5656357
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5656387Rose thinks to herself on the fact that she is the only true Quattro loyalist
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5656387Stop the squirting, we've arrived at the island castle.
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5656399My source is that I made it the fuck up
>>5656400Nice job, Quattro
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5656411Let's see the Island Castle now!
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5656417Rosa and the Apprentice gawk at the castle while Quattro bring the ship in for landing.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5656417Jurassic Park theme starts playing
>>5656423Let's not get too hasty here
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5656437Yeah but what about the dinos on the island?
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5656437Well we can at least land the aircraft without triggering the copyright police.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5656448Rosa and the Apprentice leave the craft to gawk at the Castle.
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5656457Well, better knock on the gate and see if anyone is home. It'd be rude to just bust in without checking first.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5656457Oh shit is this Dracula's house???
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5656477HEY! HEY DRACULA! HEEEEEEEY!
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5656479WE'RE LOOKING FOR A SPECIAL INGREDIENT FOR MY SICK DRINK, DO YOU HAVE IT? YOU HAVE IT, DON'T YOU? CAN WE COME UP AND TAKE SOME WITH US?
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5656482WE ONLY WANT TO USE A LITTLE BIT!!
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5656479What do you do Dracula
>>5656482"DUNNO WHATCHU TALKING ABOUT, GO AWAY"
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5656491I CAN'T HEAR YOU. WE'RE COMING UP, I HOPE THAT'S OK.
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5656492"NO IT'S NOT"
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5656495ULTRA INSTINCT
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5656495Do you like to drink blood Dracula?
>>5656512Rosa punches a hole through Dracula's castle with her mech
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5656512Now walk straight up that wall and punch that geek Dracula
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5656512Now Rosa, breach the door with the Apprentice!
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5656512>>5656514muh roll
>>5656518HEY EVERYONE! LOOK! THIS DUMBO FORGOT HIS ROLL
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5656519Stop pointing out anons and draw what the biggest roll says
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5656523In we go. Time to raid Old man Draculas secret ingredients.
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5656532Beat them up with Disciple so he gets some XP
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5656533YEAH LESSGO QUATTRO
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5656538
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5656538Do the thing
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5656538It's Quatting time.
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5656538With Master and Apprentice as once, beat them down!
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5656556Mark the Elder Vampire pop out of no where being high and not sure how he got here.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5656566Mark takes another massive hit on his blunt and passes out so he doesn't have to deal with this shit.
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5656566Dragon kick him out of the quest
>>5656577NOW INTERROGATE DRACULA FOR THE LOCATION OF THE DRINK INGREDIENT
>>5656580"FUCK OFF SKELLY BOY. I AINT TELLING YOU NUTHIN!"
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5656582SLAP HIM WITH A GARLIC INFUSED SAUSAGEwe got this from luke
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5656583"YOU'D FIGHT ME WHILE HOLDING YOUR BROTHER'S SAUSAGE?! YOU SICK FUCK"Dracula has a +10 bonus
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5656586SLAP HIM SILLY
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5656586Slap the sucker
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5656586Give him the slap
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5656594CRITICAL HIT!
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5656594Quattro, DRINK ALCOHOL to boost yourself
>>5656597"Did you just hit me with garlic you asshole"What will the critical hit do?A. Dracula fucking explodesB. Dracula is forced to move into the second phase of the boss fightC. Dracula sues Quattro for tresspassing
Rolled 1 (1d3)>>5656600I will roll a 1d3 to determine outcome.
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5656601>>5656600The die has spoken, Dracula fucking explodes.
>>5656602"WHAT THE FUCK ANON--"
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5656603Damn, did he have any clues on where the drink stuff is?
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5656603After this utter curbstomp skeletons are now placed as the superior form of undead over vampires
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5656607Signal the Space Station to send down a skeleton crew to help us scour the castle for the ingredient, and to secure it as a Chillsader Base.
>>5656609With that done....OP gotta go sleep now. It's 4 AM. Toodlesupdates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
I remember uhh, when uh, we used to do shit like, remember, I think in Adventure quest there was a bandit with a gay affliction or something, Jack.
>>5656629It's been hours since the unprovoked attack on vampires
>>5661359It's not an unprovoked attack, it's a Peacekeeping Operation.
OP once again showing his faggoty ways by dodging the bread. We should've listened to Captain Scelletus when we had the chance...
>>5661405Lies and slander
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5661406Oh yeah? I dare you to draw humongus shotasniffer tiddies right now to prove you're not a faggot.
>>5661409Dunno anon, sounds like you tryna trick me
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5661410Me? Trick OP? Why I'd never! I am simply... er, looking out for the quest, ya know? Trying to broaden the appeal, you feel me?
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5661410No HE’S the faggot, draw her ass instead.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5661415Quattro gets accused of vampire murder on national television
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5661415Quick, Quattro look over there! It's the ingredient you're looking for!
>>5661417Oh shit where
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5661418glowing on a pedestral
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5661418Anon makes a quick getaway on a speedboat
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5661424IT'S....IT'S...
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5661424There's a dastardly trap floor Puzzle between us and the ingredient though. The radiant field protecting it won't lift until we solve it!
>>5661428Dracula's final trick! Quattro will need to figure out the correct sequence of tiles he needs to step on in order to deactivate the force field! Else the whole castle will crumble!
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5661431Sounds spooky! Do we have any hints or clues nearby to figure out how to solve it?
>>5661432A being a devious as Dracula wouldn't make the solution be so easily found, this is a problem
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5661434Just drink your problems away and sleep it off
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5661434Rosa solves the puzzle with a little dance.
>>5661435And so Quattro drank himself to sleep
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5661439>>5661438Meanwhile an alliance forms between the hero association and the villain association to stop Quattro.
>>5661440The next ingredient won't be so easy to obtain with both hero and villan intervention. Good thing Quattro has filled up his alcoholism meter so he can use Drunken Fist mode for the coming battles.
>>5661440"Gentlemen, you know why we are all gathered here today"
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5661446"New Lilly album? I've been waiting forever for it!"
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5661446>>5661447"LILLY? YOU FUCKING TREASONOU- Ahem, besides that. We need to talk about the problematic skeleton known as Quattro."
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5661446"Its Thin crust Thursday, very tasty. You hear about that Quattro guy though?"
>>5661448"yeah? what about him?"
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5661452"You've seen the news, right? Him killing off Manlet Rider, home invasion and murder, and being alone with little girls."
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5661452We found tracks left by his posse at the hidden temple, as well as the body if Manlet Rider... He's trying to assemble something, to bring back an ancient power. He must be stopped.>>5661448"FUCK YOU OLD MAN, SHOTASNIFFER IS WASHED UP. OLD NEWS, HAG-MATERIAL! LILLY IS FRESH, THE NEW HOTNESS!"
>>5661453"Terrible news. But what did you expect from the seed of Lolisniffer""yep yep"
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5661457If we pull of that guys mask, will he die?
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5661457"This is the same seed that brought us Shotasniffer, Lilly, and ....*shudder*...Rasputin. His ancestry is no excuse for his pedophillic tendancies">>5661458It would be extremely painful
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5661460...that's a big roll.
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5661461UUUU
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5661464Obligatory Bane joke over, back to wanting Quattro killed for his pedophilia and his comedy
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5661464"Anyway, the Hero Association is putting together a force to stop Quattro before he can succeed. We need the assistance of the Villains to cover the remaining sites. Whatever it is Quattro us planning, it must not succeed."
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5661464Ok, so the plan is that we send in two of our best fighters to infiltrate the tournament, win it so as to get the closest Quattro, THEN take him out. All agreed?
>>5661467>>5661468both plans, at the same time
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5661469This is acceptable.
>>5661469>>5661470>>5661471"Alright, got any candidates? And can we get Shotasniffer help in this?""Quick question, chief.""Shoot""Getting Shotasniffer involved isn't an elaborate ploy to score free merch isn't it""Shut up"
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>5661474“So we got any vampire heroes with a burning vengeance to avenge their fallen kin to send at him?”
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5661474She took a leave of absence. Left with a note for her concert tour. Also to watch Quattro.>>5661475We got vampire villains, does that count
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5661474No Shotasniffer, she is the final boss. We need one hero and one villan to go undercover, both with their own unique character models while we send El Generico's out to guard the ingredients.
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5661476“I mean, I guess? Are they sexy?”
>>5661475"Well, c'mon then. If we have any vampires present, step up"
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5661480>>5661476>>5661478Sexy men, yeah
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5661481Just how I like it~>>5661480A Dracula looken mofo comes out from below the table in between the two dudes.
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5661481>>5661480AWAKEN, MY MASTERS.
>>5661484>>5661485Also named Dracula (it's a last name)
>>5661485"please get off the table"
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5661488POSE HARDER.
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5661488He'll do just fine for the job.Meanwhile Quattro.........
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5661494POV we are recording him
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5661494Wake up, Quattro. We're almost at our next stop.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5661499Quattro... you son of a bitch. You absolute bone sucker. You fucking killer. You are a mass murderer of epic proportions. Rise up right now
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>5661499Turn the craft sharply to the left so he falls off the couch.
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5661499No wake up or grow a new pompadore! Or both!
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5661503Suit yourself. Hey while he's asleep, lets go peruse his private Pina Colada stash.....
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5661503Disciple watches him sleep
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5661503Pick him up and throw him against the wall op! You are strong enough!
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5661503Camera pan to the Chosen Apprentice. Surely the beatdown he gave the ghouls with his master and the battle against Manlet Rider has elevated him to the next level.
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5661503Ok so Quattro is out of commission…NOW IT’S BOBBY’S TIEM TO SHINE!!!
>>5661505"Hmmm, this must be some sort of secret meditation technique"
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5661507>>5661509Give me the level up screen. The power of the Apprentice must grow!
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5661509Quattro sleep walks through the puzzle, setting off every almost trap but remaining unharmed as he is completely relaxed
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5661509Better report that to the heroes, they gave you this face for a reason
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5661509Quattro's dreaming about skeletits
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5661516>>5661515
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5661516Who told them about the dead Rider and vampire castle invasion?>>5661517>titsflats
>>5661517Who's really dreaming about skeletits here, anon. Quattro or you
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5661516No, it was an anonymous individual only known only as "Ayyyyyy Lmaooooooo"
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5661516>>5661519Nah, you don't even know any heroes. No shitty plot twists here.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5661519I will let you know that I am very much very awake. Now show Quattro's dreams about skeletits, OP.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5661519>>5661521
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5661526Wake up in a cold sweat. These horrors should not be witnessed by any man.
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5661526I'm disappointed and my day is ruined, OP.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5661526dream about skeleflats
>>5661529The monkey's paw curls a finger
>>5661529This is how very disappointed I am.
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5661533>>5661530
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5661533Are you happy now, OP?
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5661539QUATTRO DON'T
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5661542Wake up
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5661542Quattro do!
>>5661543Grab a brush and put on a little makeup?
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5661553oh no
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5661553Hide your scars to fade away the shakeup
>>5661554Oh no indeed! Quattro is in grave danger! This dream is a nightmare!
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5661557>continue
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5661557FIGHT
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5661563Where the fuck am I
>>5661566"Master Quattro! Calm down! You're still onboard the chillsaders transport ship! We're making our way towards the next ingredient for the ultimate drink!"
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5661566>>5661563The next area™
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5661567Once we're back on top then we're gonna set it all straight. 'niffer will never boss me around again
>>5661570What a terrible nightmare. The fear turns into rage as your resolve hardens. Shotasniffer WILL never boss you around again. Ever. Never ever ever ever
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5661571I AM NOT CRAZY!SHE CHEATED IN THE WAR! WITH THE JETS AND THE TANKS, I JUST COULDN'T PROVE IT. AND SHE GETS TO RULE SKELETON ISLAND? WHAT A SICK JOKE!BOBBY! BOBBY! HOW MUCH LONGER? WHERE IS THE INGREDIENT?
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5661571Charge directly to the new ingredient
>>5661573>>5661574And so Quattro charges forward in a rage-fueled delirium.And we will see what happens next.....in like 20 hours. OP gotta sleep now. updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5661557ha, skeletits in his dreamsI knew it
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5662221Could the legends be true? Alcohol is made with bread?!
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5662221Why are we still here? Just to suffer?
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5662230What the hell was that!? It's not safe for bread-kind here, better skeddadle.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5662236Come to think off it, where is here? It was never established where we went after Dracula's Castle, it was all done off-screen.
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5662236Back to our usual time wasting Shenanigans.Quattro continues on his journey for some drink.. in the meantime Shotasniffer trains
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5662236throw heavy glass bottle at it
>>5662237Well anon, clearly, after Dracula's castle, the Chillsaders went to...A. The hidden temple In a secret valleyB. The temple deep inside an ancient jungleC. The temple on a hidden mountain rangeD. Shotasniffer's bedroom
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5662242D
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5662242>A. The hidden temple In a secret valleyQuattro just bowled over a herd of Americans taking pictures of the Grand Canyon. Very rude.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5662242>Ethe mystery room
>>5662245>the Grand Canyon
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5662248Quattro falls over the edge 'cause he ain't stopping for some bitch-ass canyon.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5662252Now, Quattro, gather all your powers and strike at the canyon floor!
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5662253CAN HE DO IT?The Quatt has a +30 bonus
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5662256CAN HE DO IT!?
>>5662256kill the kanyen
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5662261fuck
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5662266Great, that ought to have relieved some of Quattro's aggression. Now we can begin searching the entirety of the Grand Canyon for the hidden temple.
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5662266Get ready to comb out the canyon fellas
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5662278Now get to work!Meanwhile at the spess steshun..
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5662279>>5662278No, I think you mean 'Meanwhile, in the Moon Tournament'. We've not had a proper fight interlude yet, now it is time to see how the tournament is progressing.
>>5662281>>5662279Of course, of course. Back on THE MOON, the Chillsaders are closely monitoring the fights that are taking place all over the surface of the satellite planet
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5662289*ring ring*
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5662289Do we have any clear favourites emerging? Let us see the fighters that have knocked out the most opponents.
>>5662291Right now it's still anybody's game as the fighters are taking each other out. So far, there hasn't been any standouts, yet. Let us take a peek into one of the ongoing fights, featuring:A. One of the skele sibblingsB. Two of the skele sibblingsC. Complete randos
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5662292>B
>>5662293"You can't stop me, Jill""A traitor like you won't beat me, Betty"
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5662305The fight is guaranteed to be won by Jill. Because sooner or later Betty is just gonna die of heat stroke in that suit
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5662305YOOOO, LET'S GO! KICK HER ASS, JILL!
>>5662307"Yeah! So to have a chance, Betty would have to start stripping!.....Stripping off her coat! Yes! And only her overcoat! That's what I meant! S-Stop looking at me like that"
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5662310I'm just being rational here. Think about it logically for a moment. A fight is exhausting, sweaty business.
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5662310It's OK, Betty has a tank-top underneath. It's family friendly and not lewd at all.
>>5662325Oh shit, Betty got big ol' betties
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5662327>>5662325
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5662331I mean... uuuhhHey is that Quattro doing a thing!?
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5662331OH SHIT JILL IS GOING IN!!!
>>5662332"right, back to monitoring Quattro's progress. You're on thin ice, buddy"
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5662331OH SHIT!! JILL IS ALSO IN A TANK-TOP AND GOONG IN FOR THIS KILL!!!
>>5662339That tank top is also thin....
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5662339>>5662339
>>5662345What could he mean by this
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5662346It's the percentage chance that Jill has to beat Betty. They appear to be evenly matched! What a fantastic fight it'll be!
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5662346Abstract substance of the booby to butt ratio
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5662346Nothing. Anon is perfectly balanced, as all thongs should be.
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5662365OH FUCK!!! BETTY IS IN THE PERFECT POSITION FOR A CROTCH PUNCH!! IS SHE GOING FOR IT!?
>>5662370"Y-you wouldn't do that, w-would you, sis?"
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5662376YOU CAN BLOCK IT JILL! THE POWER OF THE HAT IS WITH YOU!
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5662376Back to quattro, we will see the results later
>>5662379"OH GOD I CAN'T WATCH THIS"
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5662386“I can. Recording this shit.”
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5662386[AUDIBLE GASP]
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5662390What is happening!? Show the screen, you hack!
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5662401The crowd starts booing Betty for performing one of the lowest of low blows against a family member no less.
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5662409Come on Jill, get back up! Don't take this lying down, the crowd is with you!
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5662409C'mon Jill, use this betrayal as fuel and give it back to her ten fold!
>>5662411"hrrghhh.....B-betty.....you've been....training with Rasputin, huh"
>>5662423Take a poak bun energy boost, Jill!
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5662423RUN"EVERYONE MOB ON BETTY PLEASE*
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5662424>>5662423Sorry I am a Billy of the silly variety
>>5662427Yeah anon just a silly lil guy. A lil goofy. A bit of a goober.
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5662428Dawww... you got me dead to rights! Or just dead
>>5662429>>5662428Dead. Just dead.
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5662432What's supposed to be the plan, let Betty pass so that she can be in the finals?
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>5662432I am reborn as a skelly
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5662432Jill fights back with the power of the hat!
>>5662434"There's a specific plan? I thought it was just let the tournament play out by itself and have Rasputin or Quattro mop up the finalist""I think Quattro told me something about his super duper cool and awesome plan to get Betty back on our side""So what is it?""I'm not sure, he just yelled something about being so cool she'll have to acknowledge him as the coolest sibling"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5662446…! Guys. Guys guys guys guysguysguysguysguysGUYS!Isn’t it Betty’s birthday today?
>>5662449"It is?""ya sure?""Shit. I gotta check"
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5662453Release the confetti! It'll be a hit with the crowds and the fighters.
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5662456>>5662453Shit, did everyone get her a present!?
>>5662458"Oh fuck, is it really her birthday?""Shit, I haven't prepared anything"
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5662465The remaining footage of the fight has been censored for being too sexy.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5662465Shit fuck huh huuuuuuuuuuwhats in your pockets? Anything in there to give??>>5662466And gorey*
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5662467Mean while in the land of the man with no game!
>>5662471The Man with No Game is also a contestant. Currently fighting against....some guy
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5662483And there's some loser cowboy fighting called...Fester...something
>>5662483Hey that’s not OP.
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5662483"Reckon this is your last chance to just walk way, compadre, else you're gonna yee your last haw."
>>5662487"A cowboy? Really? Don't you think that's a bit out of season by now?""You're one to talk, Mr. Knight""I'm not just a knight. I'm a Vampire Hunter Knight! That adds extra flavor"
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5662496"Hey it's me, Fester Winchester, here to-""KILL HIM"
>>5662499"YEAH WELL FUCK YOU GUYS I GOT A MECH"
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5662504"OBLIGATORY CAMEO FROM THE LAST QUEST"
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5662505>>5662504It's Gustave the Space Knight, having arrived at the Tournament to finally get his epic battle.
>>5662505>>5662507"HEY! THERE BETTER NOT BE ANY NON-YURI HAPPENING OVER THE--"
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5662509"BRING ME YOUR STRONGEST FIGHTERS, I SHALL LET MY BLADE JUDGE THEIR WORTHYNESS!"
>>5662514"DOES NO ONE DARE CHALLENGE THE LASER SCYTHE BLADE OF GUSTAVE?!""I WILL GIVE YOU THE CHALLENGE YOU DESIRE, SPACE KNIGHT. I CANNOT BE DEFEATED HERE, FOR I SERVE A GREATER PURPOSE THAN MERELY FINDING A WORTHY FIGHT!""HOLY SHIT A VAMPIRE"
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5662519Reeeeee!
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5662519Epic duel commence between the vampire and Gustave.
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5662519I think somebody rigged the matches for Betty, she's just fighting grunts while the rest of the entrants are doing a battle royale
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5662531>>5662528Also our main siblings are disappearing for some reason
oh shit it's already 9 AM. I can feel my head exploding. Gotta, uh, take a lil nap. see ya next sesh, anonsupdates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5663083Throw a shuriken at the bread.
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5663087The bread uses the Body Replacement technique at the last moment to avoid the attack.
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5663095Do not despair, anon. You were already dead before the battle began.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5663104The bread wins it's first battle! This tournament sure is wild!
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5663104ANOTHER COMPETITOR HAS BEEN ELIMINATED FROM THE BATTLE ROYALE>>5662528
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5663109Bread gets bulldozed over by fight between Gustave and the Vampire.
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5663109>>5663111Vampire Hunter Knight and The Man with No Game also start attacking the Handsome Vampire
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5663109Quattro
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5663123This battle royale is getting more cameos by the minute!
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5663139Meanwhile, on Tatooine- ergh I mean 'In the Grand Canyon'
>>5663140OH MY GOD! QUATTRO IS BEING ATTACKED BY THE SARLAC--I mean, uh, THE GRAND CANYON MONSTER
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5663145ROSA! YOU NEED TO SHOOT THE TOUNGE SO IT RELEASES QUATTRO! USE THE BLASTER PISTOL!
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>5663145The fabled blaster...
>>5663146"OH MY GOD ROSA CAN YOU MAKE THE SHOT?"A. YesB. NoC. Rosa opted to use her mech's blaster instead, blowing up the entire creature and part of Tatooin--I mean the grand canyon
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5663160D. Quattro forbids them to intervene.Watch this, fools. Quattro is not in danger, he *IS* the danger
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5663165You really want to eat me? The second you do, you will die of alcohol poisoning
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5663165It's time for the Quattening.
>>5663168HE'S QUATTING ALL OVER THE MONSTER'S INSIDES
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>56631711 Quatillion Dollars
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5663180Damn. Those pesky reds stand no chance against great Quattro.Anyway, boss, we combed so hard the comb broke. But I found this weird cactus over here
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5663182>>5663180No worries, the Sarla-- Grand Canyon Monster was guarding the entrance to the hidden temple. Defeating it has opened the way.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5663193Something unexpected happens
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5663198AAAAH!
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5663198Quattro be keepint it real. Keeping it smooth. He is the eldest and he radiates wisdom and has insane style at the same time. Truly he is the greatest. But whats taht on his shirt?
>>5663200Oh phew, don't worry anon, it's just a nightmare
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5663203Check under the covers
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5663203Yeah, you would have been wearing it instead if it was a good dream
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5663209INSIDE THE SECRET TEMPLE!(you're trespassing)
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5663215"Sir, if you please leave, we are ancient guardians determined to protect this place from-"KICK TO THE HEAD
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5663215You stand in the way of my Ascension. I would implore you to not hinder me in my search for the ingredient, it may end badly for you.
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5663217Roll 1d100 for QUATTRO KICK
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>56632301 Quatrillion
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5663230Oh lord...
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>566323010 QUATRILLION!
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5663230
wow isn't it sad that Quattro can't have a good roll, what a shame
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5663243>>5663230
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5663243Napalm bomb OP's house.
Wow isn't it sad that there isn't a post about napalming OP's house so he'd pay for his crimes, what a shame
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5663249Do not give OP anymore money
>>5663251OP immediately dies
Rolled 93 (1d100)>&g