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/qst/ - Quests


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OH SHIT NIGGA, you are Quattro Del Petto. Cool chill skeleton. Once you were in the running to rule over your siblings but got beaten down by your sister.

But soon you will have your revenge! For now you have convinced everyone to join your Skeleton Fight tournament on the moon. That should occupy them enough for you to do whatever you need to fully commence your rebellion and finally take down your domineering sister, Shotasniffer!
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

Quattro the chill genius. Quattro the calm, relaxed, yet dread master of skeletons.
They dont know this whole tournament is just another sham. A feint. A distraction. Quattros one step ahead them all awlays.
>>
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>>5650722
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>5650725
Order anabolic steroids off boneplanet.com we gotta be ready
>>
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>>5650727
Would you, Quattro, sully the sanctity of this contest via cheating?
>>
>>5650728
Pshaw, do it any day of the week and twice on sunday.
Reds wont suspect a thing
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

So anyway, plant bombs all around the space station
>>
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>>5650731
Drugs ordered
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>5650735
Meanwhile shotasniffer
>>
>>5650735
try doing some bone yoga
loosen up the
bones
>>
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>>5650736
Really anon? You would take away screentime from poor innocent Quattro?
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>5650739
Quattros a fucking loser and I'm the only one who bothered to show up to his pity party. What a FREAK
>>
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>>5650740
How could you say such a thing to a face like this
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>5650741
Just a bit to see how bad she's quaking in her boots.
She's going to fear us as she's hears this announcement
>>
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>>5650745
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>5650747
"I give him a month until his entire plan collapses."
>>
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>>5650748
wow rude
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>5650749
"He really needs to learn about responsibility, if he only knew that I knew about his dealings with villains that will inevitably betray him, his secret bases, and his...urges."
>>
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>>5650751
Urges?! What urges? There's no urges. Shut up about these non existent urges.
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>5650752
Yeah, definitely not those urges encouraged by that weird book who keeps singing about how age is just a number for some reason.
>>
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>>5650753
"QUIET, BOOK"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>5650755
Man, Rasputin should take a chill pill, that book's got the ri-I MEAN, TOUCHING LITTLE GIRL BAD, BAD BOOK
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>5650755
Alright let's get an overview for all the background shenanigan's happening
>>
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>>5650757
>>5650758
Alright, lessee, the tourney's already underway, it seems. Battles are happening all over the surface of the moon.
>>
>>5650759
Check out how the ingredient questin' and army buildin' is going, maybe ship them something if they aren't making much progress
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>5650759
Then we better hurry up and collect the ingredients for the Ultimate Drink™. The Tournament isn't going to last forever.
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>5650759
>>5650760
>>5650761
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>5650759
The native moon people aren't happy about this.
>>
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Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>5650762
Quick, roll 1d100 to see how your minions are doing
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>5650764
Doing fine (maybe)
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>5650764
Maybe the Quatt has to step in and show them how it's done
>>
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>>5650767
"Making great progress, bro"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>5650769
Show collage of our Flagship being constructed and our Dojo fighters training.
>>
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>>5650770
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>5650773
Very nice. Prepare a shuttle, we're going down to Earth to begin collecting the ingredients.
>>
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>>5650774
Alright, so will you be bringing anybody with you or will this be a solo mission?
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>5650775
Bring the Chosen Apprentice, this adventure will help him grow to become a Champion of the Chillsaders. Rosa can come too if she wants.
>>
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>>5650777
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>5650778
Adventure time! Now, which ingredient to go after first?
>>
>>5650779
Alright, so each ingredient is kept within its own temple. And the first one you're aiming for is:

A. On a remote, hidden island in the middle of the ocean
B. In the middle of a desert
C. In a secret valley
D. Deep inside an ancient jungle
E. On a hidden mountain range
F. Shotasniffer's bedroom
>>
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>>5650780
Captcha ate my image
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>5650780
>In the middle of a desert
Breaking in to an ancient desert temple to steal shit? Hell yes.
>>
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>>5650782
Destination confirmed, lessagoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>5650784
Ken and Jeanne are watching the shuttle leave through a window on the Space Station.
>>
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>>5650786
DUN DUN
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>5650788
They'll run the station just fine in our abscence
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>5650788
Time to figure out where the fuck Marian has gone.
>>
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>>5650792
"Isn't it strange that Quattro suddenly has a jump in tech as soon as Marian went missing"

"Makes ya think, doesn't it"
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>5650794
It's time to Metal Gear Jeanne this Space Station. Marian has to be here somewhere.
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>5650794
>>5650797
Jeanne's obsession with the cardboard box
>>
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>>5650799
"You should....get in the box with me, Ken"
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>5650800
'No, I need to run communications from this other cardboard box here. You better get going, Jeanne. Who knows what Quattro has his minions doing to Marian.'
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>5650800
>>5650801
Besides, it's dark in there
>>
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>>5650801
"Fine....You'll come around soon enough...."
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>5650803
Skeleton Island 3: QUATTRO'S COUNTERATTACK
aka "Why Shotasniffer Should Not Leave Her Siblings To Their Own Devices For A Month"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>5650803
No time for that, go sneak now Jeanne.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

oh shit a thread
>>5650803
that's a ranobe title if I've seen one.
>>5650803
at least no one sings about snakes
>>
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>>5650804
AKA OP should really check his internet
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>5650821
>>5650805
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>5650821
space wifi is at it again?
wack router real hard
>>
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>>5650830
Net aint looking good tonight, lads
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>5650850
Should probably get the damn thing fixed
Guide Jeanne in a Codec style conversation
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>5650850
Try turning OP off and on again.
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>5650850
post pone adventure due technical difficulties and go play some jRPG and chill at this nice sunday evening
>>
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>>5650851
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>5650859
'I managed to geolocate the last use of Marina's gamertag to the staff only areas of the Space Station. You should begin your search there, Jeanne.'
>>
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>>5650860
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>5650862
The ones that say "CHILLSADERS ONLY"
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>5650862
'I wasn't able to accurately pinpoint it's origin, but the Staff Area includes [The Break Room], [The Security Station], [The Loading Bays] and several locations only labled [OFF LIMITS]. You might need a Chillsader ID to pass through these zones undetected.'
>>
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>>5650865
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>5650868
He's most likely in the area marked "Robot Lab"
Oh no, not again
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>5650868
change radio UI to yellow
>>
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>>5650878
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>5650893
>>5650870
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>5650893
Think about how the perfect drink will be yours one day.
>>
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>>5650896
The perfect drink? Don't be silly, Ken, why would you want that
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>5650893
perfect
>>5650898
Ken just wants his sprite, while on board there is only fanta
>>
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>>5650904
Fuckin' yellows. Hopefully Jeane finds Marian soon so you can get off this madhouse
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>5650907
Now let’s see what…whoeverthefuck is pushing the main plot forward right now.
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>5650907
Check up on the skelly bros
>>
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>>5650911
Then surely you mean Quattro and his epic quest for the ultimate drink, the elixir that will elevate his power far above Shotaniffer! And perhaps....even his dad!
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>5650916
Yea, and it's minigame made as old point and click adventure.
Now use that rubber chicken on everything around you
>>
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>>5650918
"Master, why are you slapping that rubber chicken on everything?"

"Fool, Quattro's employing a super secret technique in order to solve this temple's secrets. We're not yet at the level to understand these methods"

"Ah, I see"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>5650916
Wait I thought it was whoever was in the tournament??
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>5650923
Now, Quattro ship arrive to the pyramids of the tomb kings.
>>
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>>5650926
"Now that we've moved deeper inside the pyramid, his rubber chicken slapping is still meant to discover its secrets, right?"

"Of course!"
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>5650930
I mean rubber chicken exist for a reason, I'm sure of it!
>>
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Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>5650931
Surely the devs won't just give you a bum item that does nothing! Who would do such a thing?!
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>5650930
*Suddenly, the rubber chicken does something*
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>5650933
There is like 7% they didn't!
>>
>>5650937
a fukken' one
>>
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>>5650937
HEY EVERYONE! LOOK! THIS ANON ROLLED A 1
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>5650940
if you look at it at the angle, 1 looks almost like 7
it's not that bad number
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>5650940
Same as the guy who uses a rubber chicken to detect traps
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>5650940
HA!
>>5650944
Take the 1.
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>5650940
Tomb King army of skeletons inserted Laughing track
>>
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>>5650944
Anyway, Quattro finally notices that the room he's in is sloped. And a giant boulder has just been dropped into the other end. A giant bolder that thanks to the sloped room, will now proceed to roll towards Quattro at high speeds to crush him
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>5650952
PUNCH IT
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>5650952
Talk to it.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>5650952
use rubber chicken on it
>>
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Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>5650956
My god...could this be?! The actual use for the rubber chicken?!

Roll 1d100
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>5650963
Sacrifice the rubber chicken as a decoy.
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>5650963
nyeh
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>5650963
>>
>>5650973
Anon....
>>
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>>5650968
>>
>>5650988
Did it have any effect?
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>5650988
RUUUUUUUUUUUBBER CHIIIIIIIIIICKEN NOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>5650988
it bounced back
>>
>>5650988
RUBER-SAN!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>5650994
Shit
>>
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>>5650990
>>5650995
How can life be so cruel
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>5651002
shed a manly tear
>>
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>>5651003
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>5651011
The scarifice of Rubber Chicken will never be forgotten. We will drink the Ultimate Drink in his honor. Now, onwards!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>5651011
>>5651015
what he said
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>5651015
this
>>
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>>5651015
"So...uh....how does grieving over a rubber chicken help?"

"Can't you see?! A true martial artist must never close their heart to the suffering of the world! Only when you can feel with your fists will you be on the true path of enlightenment!"

"Aaaah, I see. Master Quattro is truly wise"
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>5651025
Enter into the Treasure Chamber, we must find the ingredient.
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>5651025
well either that or just in dramatic mood
>>
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>>5651027
And there, you find....

A. A room full of devious traps, like some sort of obstacle course you must clear
B. A magical guardian, who you must destroy in combat
C. both
D. Shotasniffer, for some reason
E. [This space for rent]
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>5651036
C, but the magical guardian wants to test whether you're pure of heart first
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>5651036
C, triggering too many of the devious traps will awaken the Guardian.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>5651036
E
MANLET RIDER EMERGES
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>5651036
>E. [This space for rent]
But it's literally just a vacant space with a 'For Renting' sign.
>>
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>>5651039
NO! IT CANNOT BE! THAT FORM! THAT STANCE! THE POWER RADIATING FROM SUCH A SHORT STATURE!
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>5651045
IT CAN!
MANLET RIDER IS HERE TO FIGHT EVIL (us), ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO ARE HIGHER THAN HIM!
INSERT THEME SONG AND EXPLOSIONS IN BACKGROUND!
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>5651045
This will be a fight of our lives. get ready to scrap
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>5651045
It's just 2eeb
>>
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>>5651050
Damnit, of all the times to run into the Defender of Justice and all short kings, just had to be today
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>5651059
You're full of shit, rider. I never even did anything wrong. Get ready to die
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>5651059
Though it is an excellent time to test our Chosen Apprentice. Have him duel the midget man to push his limits beyond what he is capable off.
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>5651059
Engage in hot blooded one on one battle!
GO GO LET'S GO!
You won't win this time, Manlet Rider!
>>
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>>5651062
"SENDING YOUR MINION IN BEFORE FIGHTING YOURSELF? NO MATTER HOW MANY YOU THROW AT ME, THE FLAMES OF JUSTICE IS NEVER ENDING! GOBBO KICK!"

"I AM NO MERE MINION! YOU WILL KNOW THE POWER OF THE QUATTRO SCHOOL OF MARTIAL ARTS, MANLET RIDER!"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>5651071
Quickly, while manlet rider is distracted, get past him to acquire secret ingredient!
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>5651071
>>5651072
"I SHALL TAKE YOU DOWN IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE! AND SHOTASNIFFER'S NEXT SONG, TRAITOR"
>>
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>>5651072
There it is. The first of the sacred ingredients. Held within this ancient container.
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>5651084
>>5651076
QUICK GRAB IT
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>5651084
You need something of the same weight to not activate ancient trap, quickly check your inventory of random crap to find suitable item!
You have limited time while Manlet Rider is distracted!
>>
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Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>5651086
Attempt numero uno

The puzzle has a +20 bonus
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>5651093
Piano? Not it.
pile of gold? not useful either
Long lost ancient summon scrool of chinese giant robots? nah
Oh, can of Fanta!
It'll do!
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>5651093
We've got this, it's one of the mugs from the space station. It weighs just enough to not activate the trap.
>>
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>>5651096
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>5651098
Look at that happy mug
feels good to have job nice done
wait, ain't we forgetting something?
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>5651098
All the fighting disturb and awoken the Tomb King and his rest of skeleton army,
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>5651098
With that done, let's relax and watch our Apprentice duke it out with the Manlet. Good thing we brought those folding chairs and coconut drinks.
>>
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>>5651101
Hmmmm....what are we missing
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>5651117
>>5651076
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>5651117
Rosa is such a good girl, taking notes on the battle.
>>
>>5651117
Probably nothing we have budget for.
...
oh, Manlet Rider's bike, we can steal it!
yoink
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>5651117
>>5651122
awfuck
>>
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>>5651121
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>5651132
What
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>5651132
Hm, turning around would result in increased budget.
Oh look, a penny!
And secret exit from the temple.
And even souvenir stand!
Really nice, let's check it out.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>5651132
ROSA LOOK OUT
>>
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>>5651134
Man, it's so great to complete this mission with zero surprises whatsover. And this wall you're staring at, it's so nice. Almost makes you wish you don't have to turn around and check on Rosa and your disciple
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>5651148
Rosa makes sure the manlet never gets up again.
By killing him to death. Like she just absolutely destroys him. Nothing left.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>5651148
eh, they'll be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
Let's check this souvenir stand anyway
Manlet Rider let go of himself since he doesn't ride that much more than before.
Truly a shame,
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>5651148
Go out the other way, never turning back
>>5651152
>>
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>>5651151
The hell is going on back there
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>5651155
resist urge to turn around quattro!
We don't have the budget!
we blew it all on cameo alone
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>5651155
Must be the requsite Rider Kick moment where the guy teams up with the Rider to defeat a greater enemy, never mind that.
>>5651154
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>5651155
No time for that now, the wall has a map carved in to it that leads to the next ingredient! Study it closely.
>>
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>>5651157
It's true. Which means in order to save budget for the actual important fights. We will now cut to something else whenever you get into a fight, Quattro.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>5651161
Mourn the chicken some more instead
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>5651161
We return back to the Metal Gear Jeanne section on the space station while Quattro cleans up in the tomb.
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>5651161
give OP 5 bux to fuck off
>>
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>>5651164
Welp, that's it for this session, see you all tomorrow.

Updates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
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>>5651166
thanks for bread OP
I hope you understood I just wanted to do variation on giving money to OP in this format, and not being rude
And it's 2AM+ you have been doing thread for most of the day, time for rest.
>>
>>5651167
>2AM+
fucking SEA
>>
>>5651168
where do you think gulag located anon
>>
>>5651170
the vietcong will die
>>
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>>5651167
I know, I am also using your post as an excuse
>>
>>5651176
aw yeaaaaa
good shit
phew, good, we need our beauty sleep OP, totally not playing some vidya backlog
gotta keep our roundeness
>>
>>5651166
Night OP! Get some good rest now!
>>
>>5650811
>that's a ranobe title if I've seen one
We go further to a Japanese light novel every day, with an idol protagonist and everything
>>
Not since Fester have I ever wanted a protagonist of the NAPverse to fail horribly.
>>
>>5651714
But Quattro is the coolest. He won skeelton island until Reds cheated and all the other skellies are so shit. Especially Reds. They cant even beat goats only won through CHEATING............... everything will be quattro
>>
>>5651727
BOBBY DETECTED
>>
>>5651731
IM NOT BOBBY FUC KU
>>
>>5651640
"How I woke up as skeleton on Island full of family feud : My new slow life as bartender"
>>5651714
If Quattro will succeed despite obvious people trying to railroad it into failure - it'll be truly glorious
>>
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>>
>>5655552
What does it mean?…WHAT DOES IT MEAN???!??!!!?
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>5655552
Loot manlet rider
>>
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>>5655556
"Begone, bread apparition"
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>5655560
I mean Quattro loot Manlet rider cause we knocked him out right
>>
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>>5655561
Perhaps, Quattro Del Breado
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>5655566
hey we're not a piece of bread, we're a skeleton
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>5655568
>>5655566
We might be a bone bread? That’s a thing right??
>>
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>>5655568
Poof
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>5655571
Now we LOOT manlet rider.
>>
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>>5655572
"Damn you, Quattro. Justice will always prevail in the end"
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>5655573
End him. This is the last ride of the Manlet Rider...
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>5655573
“You’re goddamn right it will.”
Begin to very awkwardly loot everything off of him while he’s still conscious.
>>
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>>5655575
"Kill me if you will. The next Rider will come for you. So will the rest of the heroes. You will be taken down and your mad quest for the drink will end! Perhaps even by the greatest hero of all, Shotasniffer!"
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>5655579
"Then I'll just have to kill them aswell. The drink, will be mine, and with it I will claim my legacy."
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>5655579
>>5655583
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>5655584
>>5655583
>>5655579
>+1
>>
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>>5655583
"Your legacy?"
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>5655590
"My legacy."
Then make Manlet Rider dead.
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>5655590
sex drugs and rock and roll
woooooo niggerrr
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>5655590
>>5655596
>>5655597
But don’t say the second part out loud.
>>
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Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>5655600
Now roll 1d100 to say bye bye to manlet rider
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>5655600
yeah that was exclusively for OP's ears
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>5655603
Send him back to Fortnite.
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>5655603
MY LEGAAAAAAAAACY
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>5655603
let's fucking go
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>5655603
Yes hello I am awake for Skeketons
>>
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>>5655606
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>5655609
MANLET RIDER ESCAPES????
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>5655609
AY YO WHAT THE FUCK!!!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>5655609
>roll is too late to be counted
This is so sad.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>5655609
Grab the cycle and smash Manlet Rider with it.
>>
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Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>5655614
QUICK! GRAB IT!
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>5655616
Use it!
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>5655616
FUCK HIS SHIT!!!
>>
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Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>5655620
oh shit
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>5655629
PERISH
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>5655629
Finish him!
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>5655629
Smash!
>>
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>>5655635
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>5655638
Is he dead?
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>5655638
Keep slapping that fuck into the ground.
>>
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>>5655640
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>5655650
Did he drop any loot?
>>
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Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>5655652
Roll 1d100 for loot search
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>5655655
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>5655655
Activate our [STAND ABILITY]
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>5655655
Take his pocket change.
>>
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>>5655657
You got:
- 20 bucks
- Broken transformation belt
- Signed Limited Edition Bunny Shotasniffer Card
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>5655662
Neat, Marian could probably get the transformation belt working again. Maybe Rosa would like to use it.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>5655662
What's the next ingredient?
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>5655662
Buy a McDonalds with the 20 bucks.
>>
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>>5655667
With this temple done, you can now head to the other locations, as told by that demon book:
A. On a remote, hidden island in the middle of the ocean
B. In a secret valley
C. Deep inside an ancient jungle
D. On a hidden mountain range
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>5655674
>B. In a secret valley
Grand Canyon trip!
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>5655674
>A. On a remote, hidden island in the middle of the ocean
Epstein's Island
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>5655674
>A. On a remote, hidden island in the middle of the ocean
It has an old castle on it. More Indiana Quattro'ing is at hand.
>>
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>>5655679
huzzah
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>5655683
Meanwhile, on Metal Gear: Jeanne...
>>
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>>5655685
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>5655690
Where is the mandatory ventilation shaft that lets us get into the secret rooms?
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>5655690
Knock that guard out before he sees us.
>>
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Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>5655691
Roll 1d100 to find said convenient ventilation shaft
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>5655695
Where is it?
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>5655695
It's there, behind OP!
>>
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>>5655696
>>5655697
None found
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>5655698
Maybe the guard has an access card. Knock him out and take it.
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>5655698
OP stole the vent when we weren't looking. Beat him up before he escapes.
>>
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>>5655701
I dunno whatchu talking about
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>5655702
Fine, knock out the guard and take his access card.
>>
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Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>5655703
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>5655706
!
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>5655706
Get him, quick!
>>
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>>5655709
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>5655715
"What was that noise?"
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>5655715
Did he have a card on him?
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 900x900)
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Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>5655720
Roll 1d100 to search 'em
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>5655721
GameStop membership card... A Chillsader starter deck... BlockBuster rental... Ah-ha! There it is!
>>
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>>5655722
With the key card acquired, Jeanne can now continue deeper into the facility.

While OP takes a nap. Bread will continue in about 5-6 hours.

Probably.

Updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>5655730
Probably
>>
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>>5655915
prybobal
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>5655986
Now comes the part where we faff around for 3 posts before going back to the quest
>>
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>>5655990
You know me so well
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>5655995
Do the thing, OP
>>
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>>5655999
Steal anon's wallet, got it
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>5656009
Exploding Wallet trap triggered
>>
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>>5656010
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>5656014
Everyone died
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>5656014
3 posts are up
Back to Jeanne opening the door to Robotics (definitely NOT MARIAN'S ROOM)
>>
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>>5656016
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>5656021
Knock
"Is this my daily yaoi doujin delivery?"
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>5656021
Quadttro del Lifto did you skip leg day again?
>>
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>>5656022
hol up
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>5656027
It's a trap, everyone knows Marian rubs his bones to degenerate robot yuri action
>>
>>5656027
"You heard me right."
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>5656027
USE THE PASSCARD
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>5656027
to be fair, there's absolutely been weirder sex shit done in this family.
>>
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>>5656031
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>5656038
"KNOCK FIRST!" Marian covers whatever was on his monitor (your choice OP)
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>5656038
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK JEANNE I'M ACTUALLY SABOTAGING QUATTRO FROM THE INSIDE SO THAT WE GREENS CAN TRIUMPH
>>
>>5656041
Also this
>>
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>>5656042
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>5656046
Look Marian, just come back and tell us what you are planning, I don't want to miss the new Gundam-
"WITCH FROM MERCURY SUCKS"
>>
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>>5656048
"The fuck are they arguing about"
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>5656055
And now Jeanne is shooting at him.
Be peeved that they only have 7-Up in the fridge
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>see bread
>go to sleep
>wake up 10 hours later
>op's still at it
>>
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>>5656056
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>5656061
A can of Sprite suspiciously rolls outside the door
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>5656061
Marian counterattacks with a taser
>>
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>>5656062
"Maaan I gotta wait til they finish arguing about their nerd shit until we can g--Oh shit is that a Sprite"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>5656064
Sprite chase
>>
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>>5656066
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>5656068
IT'S ROLLING TO THAT EMPTY ROOM
>>
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>>5656069
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>5656071
Trip over the can, classic physical comedy
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>5656071
>>5656073
Door closes behind you
>>
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>>5656073
>>5656074
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>5656078
At least you got your sprite
>>
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>>5656079
Now, who could have locked us in here
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>5656081
Think as you drin-OH SHIT BEHIND YOU IT'S HER LOOK OUT
>>
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>>5656082
OH MY GOD WHO
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>5656086
"hello museum robber"
KEN? KEN?? KEEEEEEEEEEEEN!
Rasputin has gotten his next victim
>>
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>>5656087
"Damnit, he's not picking up, this is all your fault, Marian"

"What?!"
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>5656093
First Lily ran away and took the shuttle, then Luke ran after her and we lost communication, then Chosen One disappeared, and now Ken's missing.
All linked to them trying to deal with Quattro's stupidity.
>>
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>>5656096
"You wouldn't know anything about that, would you, Marian?"

"uhhh"
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>5656098
Look, I'm trying to secretly sabotage Quattro's robot so that I can get an edge while Big Sis has went out on her concert. I don't know anything except Chosen One trying to attack us and getting captured by-OH GOD I KNOW WHO'S BEHIND THIS ENTIRE PLAN
>>
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>>5656101
"Who?! Spit it out!"

"IT'S...IT'S---"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>5656107
"Too late for the both of you"
>>
File: 1.png (4 KB, 900x900)
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>>5656108
"wait wha--"
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>5656109
"Oh shit" - Olessa
>>
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23 KB
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>>5656112
"What's wrong?"

"Something terrible has happened, I can feel it"
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>5656116
Right in the middle of feeding the skeletal sea monster too
>>
File: 1.png (27 KB, 900x900)
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>>5656117
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>5656118
Looks like you have to investigate this horrible thing.
And Quattro being a massive idiot and trying to rebel with his very obvious secret bases too.
>>
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>>5656120
There's also the whole moon tournament thing, and the fact that Luke and Lilly still haven't make it back yet
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>5656126
For the moment we go back to Quattro as he consults the book
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>5656126
Ponder about what to do.
Ponder hard.
>>
File: 1.png (22 KB, 900x900)
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>>5656127
What further secrets could Quattro learn
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>5656132
shhh don't be so loud no one's supposed to know you have him with you
>>
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>>5656133
Careful now
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>5656134
Open le book.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>5656134
Zoom to Rosa and the disciple who definitely did not pocket the Signed Limited Edition Bunny Shotasniffer Card
>>
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18 KB
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>>5656135
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>5656138
LE GASP!
>>
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>>5656140
Oh my god.

Anon is french.

He must die
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>5656141
SACRÉ BLEU
>>
File: 1.png (15 KB, 900x900)
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>>5656145
My god, now there's two of them
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>5656146
Quattro kicks innocent French
>>
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>>5656148
As Quattro commits crimes against the french peoples. OP gotta head out for a bit. Be back in like 4 hours
>>
>>5656152
LE GASP!
>>
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>>5656152
What is 4 hours?
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>5656339
It's SHOTASNIFFER TIME
>>
File: 1.png (16 KB, 900x900)
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>>5656345
Down, boy
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>5656348
back to disciple secretly pocketing the signed bunny shotasniffer card
>>
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>>5656349
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>5656352
Rosa no it's valuable
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>5656352
Damn you OP, you're just hoarding all the shotasniffer stuff to yourself!
>>
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23 KB
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>>5656353
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>5656387
>>5656357
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>5656387
Rose thinks to herself on the fact that she is the only true Quattro loyalist
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>5656387
Stop the squirting, we've arrived at the island castle.
>>
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>>5656392
Source?
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>5656399
My source is that I made it the fuck up
>>
File: 1.png (12 KB, 900x900)
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>>5656400
Nice job, Quattro
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>5656411
Let's see the Island Castle now!
>>
File: 1.png (19 KB, 900x900)
19 KB
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>>5656412
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>5656417
Rosa and the Apprentice gawk at the castle while Quattro bring the ship in for landing.
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>5656417
Jurassic Park theme starts playing
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 900x900)
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>>5656423
Let's not get too hasty here
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>5656437
Yeah but what about the dinos on the island?
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>5656437
Well we can at least land the aircraft without triggering the copyright police.
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 900x900)
10 KB
10 KB PNG
>>5656444
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>5656448
Rosa and the Apprentice leave the craft to gawk at the Castle.
>>
File: 1.png (14 KB, 900x900)
14 KB
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>>5656449
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>5656457
Well, better knock on the gate and see if anyone is home. It'd be rude to just bust in without checking first.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>5656457
Oh shit is this Dracula's house???
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 900x900)
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>>5656462
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>5656477
HEY! HEY DRACULA! HEEEEEEEY!
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 900x900)
10 KB
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>>5656478
"NO SOLICITORS"
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>5656479
WE'RE LOOKING FOR A SPECIAL INGREDIENT FOR MY SICK DRINK, DO YOU HAVE IT? YOU HAVE IT, DON'T YOU? CAN WE COME UP AND TAKE SOME WITH US?
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>5656482
WE ONLY WANT TO USE A LITTLE BIT!!
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>5656479
What do you do Dracula
>>
File: 1.png (14 KB, 900x900)
14 KB
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>>5656482
"DUNNO WHATCHU TALKING ABOUT, GO AWAY"
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>5656491
I CAN'T HEAR YOU. WE'RE COMING UP, I HOPE THAT'S OK.
>>
File: 1.png (14 KB, 900x900)
14 KB
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Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>5656492
"NO IT'S NOT"
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>5656495
ULTRA INSTINCT
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>5656495
Do you like to drink blood Dracula?
>>
File: 1.png (27 KB, 900x900)
27 KB
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>>5656505
>>
>>5656512
Rosa punches a hole through Dracula's castle with her mech
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>5656512
Now walk straight up that wall and punch that geek Dracula
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>5656512
Now Rosa, breach the door with the Apprentice!
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>5656512
>>5656514
muh roll
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 900x900)
10 KB
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>>5656518
HEY EVERYONE! LOOK! THIS DUMBO FORGOT HIS ROLL
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>5656519
Stop pointing out anons and draw what the biggest roll says
>>
File: 1.png (36 KB, 900x900)
36 KB
36 KB PNG
>>5656521
literally 1984
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>5656523
In we go. Time to raid Old man Draculas secret ingredients.
>>
File: 1.png (37 KB, 900x900)
37 KB
37 KB PNG
>>5656524
WATCHOUT! GHOULS!
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>5656532
Beat them up with Disciple so he gets some XP
>>
File: 1.png (32 KB, 900x900)
32 KB
32 KB PNG
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>5656533
YEAH LESSGO QUATTRO
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>5656538
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>5656538
Do the thing
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>5656538
It's Quatting time.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>5656538
With Master and Apprentice as once, beat them down!
>>
File: 1.png (50 KB, 900x900)
50 KB
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>>5656545
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>5656556
Mark the Elder Vampire pop out of no where being high and not sure how he got here.
>>
File: 1.png (20 KB, 900x900)
20 KB
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>>5656563
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>5656566
Mark takes another massive hit on his blunt and passes out so he doesn't have to deal with this shit.
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>5656566
Dragon kick him out of the quest
>>
File: 1.png (23 KB, 900x900)
23 KB
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>>5656569
>>
>>5656577
NOW INTERROGATE DRACULA FOR THE LOCATION OF THE DRINK INGREDIENT
>>
File: 1.png (26 KB, 900x900)
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>>5656580
"FUCK OFF SKELLY BOY. I AINT TELLING YOU NUTHIN!"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>5656582
SLAP HIM WITH A GARLIC INFUSED SAUSAGE
we got this from luke
>>
File: 1.png (30 KB, 900x900)
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Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>5656583
"YOU'D FIGHT ME WHILE HOLDING YOUR BROTHER'S SAUSAGE?! YOU SICK FUCK"

Dracula has a +10 bonus
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>5656586
SLAP HIM SILLY
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>5656586
Slap the sucker
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>5656586
Give him the slap
>>
File: 1.png (38 KB, 900x900)
38 KB
38 KB PNG
>>5656588
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>5656594
CRITICAL HIT!
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>5656594
Quattro, DRINK ALCOHOL to boost yourself
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 900x900)
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>>5656597
"Did you just hit me with garlic you asshole"

What will the critical hit do?

A. Dracula fucking explodes
B. Dracula is forced to move into the second phase of the boss fight
C. Dracula sues Quattro for tresspassing
>>
Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>5656600
I will roll a 1d3 to determine outcome.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>5656601
>>5656600
The die has spoken, Dracula fucking explodes.
>>
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>>5656602
"WHAT THE FUCK ANON--"
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>5656603
Damn, did he have any clues on where the drink stuff is?
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>5656603
After this utter curbstomp skeletons are now placed as the superior form of undead over vampires
>>
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>>5656605
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>5656607
Signal the Space Station to send down a skeleton crew to help us scour the castle for the ingredient, and to secure it as a Chillsader Base.
>>
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>>5656609
With that done....OP gotta go sleep now. It's 4 AM. Toodles

updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
I remember uhh, when uh, we used to do shit like, remember, I think in Adventure quest there was a bandit with a gay affliction or something, Jack.
>>
>>5656629
It's been hours since the unprovoked attack on vampires
>>
>>5661359
It's not an unprovoked attack, it's a Peacekeeping Operation.
>>
OP once again showing his faggoty ways by dodging the bread. We should've listened to Captain Scelletus when we had the chance...
>>
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>>5661405
Lies and slander
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>5661406
Oh yeah? I dare you to draw humongus shotasniffer tiddies right now to prove you're not a faggot.
>>
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>>5661409
Dunno anon, sounds like you tryna trick me
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>5661410
Me? Trick OP? Why I'd never! I am simply... er, looking out for the quest, ya know? Trying to broaden the appeal, you feel me?
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>5661410
No HE’S the faggot, draw her ass instead.
>>
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>>5661413
>>5661414
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>5661415
Quattro gets accused of vampire murder on national television
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>5661415
Quick, Quattro look over there! It's the ingredient you're looking for!
>>
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>>5661417
Oh shit where
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>5661418
glowing on a pedestral
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>5661418
Anon makes a quick getaway on a speedboat
>>
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>>5661420
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>5661424
IT'S....IT'S...
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>5661424
There's a dastardly trap floor Puzzle between us and the ingredient though. The radiant field protecting it won't lift until we solve it!
>>
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>>5661428
Dracula's final trick! Quattro will need to figure out the correct sequence of tiles he needs to step on in order to deactivate the force field! Else the whole castle will crumble!
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>5661431
Sounds spooky! Do we have any hints or clues nearby to figure out how to solve it?
>>
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>>5661432
A being a devious as Dracula wouldn't make the solution be so easily found, this is a problem
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>5661434
Just drink your problems away and sleep it off
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>5661434
Rosa solves the puzzle with a little dance.
>>
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>>5661435
And so Quattro drank himself to sleep
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>5661439
>>5661438
Meanwhile an alliance forms between the hero association and the villain association to stop Quattro.
>>
>>5661440
The next ingredient won't be so easy to obtain with both hero and villan intervention. Good thing Quattro has filled up his alcoholism meter so he can use Drunken Fist mode for the coming battles.
>>
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>>5661440
"Gentlemen, you know why we are all gathered here today"
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>5661446
"New Lilly album? I've been waiting forever for it!"
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>5661446
>>5661447
"LILLY? YOU FUCKING TREASONOU- Ahem, besides that. We need to talk about the problematic skeleton known as Quattro."
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>5661446
"Its Thin crust Thursday, very tasty. You hear about that Quattro guy though?"
>>
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>>5661448
"yeah? what about him?"
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>5661452
"You've seen the news, right? Him killing off Manlet Rider, home invasion and murder, and being alone with little girls."
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>5661452
We found tracks left by his posse at the hidden temple, as well as the body if Manlet Rider... He's trying to assemble something, to bring back an ancient power. He must be stopped.

>>5661448
"FUCK YOU OLD MAN, SHOTASNIFFER IS WASHED UP. OLD NEWS, HAG-MATERIAL! LILLY IS FRESH, THE NEW HOTNESS!"
>>
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>>5661453
"Terrible news. But what did you expect from the seed of Lolisniffer"

"yep yep"
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>5661457
If we pull of that guys mask, will he die?
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>5661457
"This is the same seed that brought us Shotasniffer, Lilly, and ....*shudder*...Rasputin. His ancestry is no excuse for his pedophillic tendancies"
>>5661458
It would be extremely painful
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>5661460
...that's a big roll.
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>5661461
UUUU
>>
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>>5661461
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>5661464
Obligatory Bane joke over, back to wanting Quattro killed for his pedophilia and his comedy
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>5661464
"Anyway, the Hero Association is putting together a force to stop Quattro before he can succeed. We need the assistance of the Villains to cover the remaining sites. Whatever it is Quattro us planning, it must not succeed."
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>5661464
Ok, so the plan is that we send in two of our best fighters to infiltrate the tournament, win it so as to get the closest Quattro, THEN take him out. All agreed?
>>
>>5661467
>>5661468
both plans, at the same time
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>5661469
This is acceptable.
>>
>>5661469
>>5661470
Agreed.
>>
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>>5661469
>>5661470
>>5661471
"Alright, got any candidates? And can we get Shotasniffer help in this?"

"Quick question, chief."

"Shoot"

"Getting Shotasniffer involved isn't an elaborate ploy to score free merch isn't it"

"Shut up"
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>5661474
“So we got any vampire heroes with a burning vengeance to avenge their fallen kin to send at him?”
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>5661474
She took a leave of absence. Left with a note for her concert tour. Also to watch Quattro.
>>5661475
We got vampire villains, does that count
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>5661474
No Shotasniffer, she is the final boss. We need one hero and one villan to go undercover, both with their own unique character models while we send El Generico's out to guard the ingredients.
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>5661476
“I mean, I guess? Are they sexy?”
>>
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>>5661475
"Well, c'mon then. If we have any vampires present, step up"
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>5661480
>>5661476

>>5661478
Sexy men, yeah
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>5661481
Just how I like it~
>>5661480
A Dracula looken mofo comes out from below the table in between the two dudes.
>>
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>>5661481
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>5661481
>>5661480
AWAKEN, MY MASTERS.
>>
>>5661484
>>5661485
Also named Dracula (it's a last name)
>>
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>>5661485
"please get off the table"
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>5661488
POSE HARDER.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>5661488
He'll do just fine for the job.
Meanwhile Quattro.........
>>
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>>5661492
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>5661494
POV we are recording him
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>5661494
Wake up, Quattro. We're almost at our next stop.
>>
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>>5661498
nyyeeeehmmmmfivemoreminutes
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>5661499
Quattro... you son of a bitch. You absolute bone sucker. You fucking killer. You are a mass murderer of epic proportions. Rise up right now
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>5661499
Turn the craft sharply to the left so he falls off the couch.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>5661499
No wake up or grow a new pompadore! Or both!
>>
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>>5661500
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>5661503
Suit yourself. Hey while he's asleep, lets go peruse his private Pina Colada stash.....
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>5661503
Disciple watches him sleep
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>5661503
Pick him up and throw him against the wall op! You are strong enough!
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>5661503
Camera pan to the Chosen Apprentice. Surely the beatdown he gave the ghouls with his master and the battle against Manlet Rider has elevated him to the next level.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>5661503
Ok so Quattro is out of commission…NOW IT’S BOBBY’S TIEM TO SHINE!!!
>>
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>>5661505
"Hmmm, this must be some sort of secret meditation technique"
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>5661507
>>5661509
Give me the level up screen. The power of the Apprentice must grow!
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>5661509
Quattro sleep walks through the puzzle, setting off every almost trap but remaining unharmed as he is completely relaxed
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>5661509
Better report that to the heroes, they gave you this face for a reason
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>5661509
Quattro's dreaming about skeletits
>>
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>>5661513
They did?!
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>5661516
>>5661515
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>5661516
Who told them about the dead Rider and vampire castle invasion?

>>5661517
>tits
flats
>>
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>>5661517
Who's really dreaming about skeletits here, anon. Quattro or you
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>5661516
No, it was an anonymous individual only known only as "Ayyyyyy Lmaooooooo"
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>5661516
>>5661519
Nah, you don't even know any heroes. No shitty plot twists here.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>5661519
I will let you know that I am very much very awake. Now show Quattro's dreams about skeletits, OP.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>5661519
>>5661521
>>
>>5661521
ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
>>
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>>5661523
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>5661526
Wake up in a cold sweat. These horrors should not be witnessed by any man.
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>5661526
I'm disappointed and my day is ruined, OP.
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>5661526
dream about skeleflats
>>
>>5661529
The monkey's paw curls a finger
>>
>>5661529
This is how very disappointed I am.
>>
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>>5661529
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>5661533
>>5661530
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>5661533
Are you happy now, OP?
>>
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>>5661534
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>5661539
QUATTRO DON'T
>>
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>>5661540
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>5661542
Wake up
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>5661542
Quattro do!
>>
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>>5661543
Grab a brush and put on a little makeup?
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>5661553
oh no
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>5661553
Hide your scars to fade away the shakeup
>>
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>>5661554
Oh no indeed! Quattro is in grave danger! This dream is a nightmare!
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>5661557
>continue
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>5661557
FIGHT
>>
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>>5661559
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>5661563
Where the fuck am I
>>
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>>5661566
"Master Quattro! Calm down! You're still onboard the chillsaders transport ship! We're making our way towards the next ingredient for the ultimate drink!"
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>5661566
>>5661563
The next area™
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>5661567
Once we're back on top then we're gonna set it all straight. 'niffer will never boss me around again
>>
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>>5661570
What a terrible nightmare. The fear turns into rage as your resolve hardens. Shotasniffer WILL never boss you around again. Ever. Never ever ever ever
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>5661571
I AM NOT CRAZY!
SHE CHEATED IN THE WAR! WITH THE JETS AND THE TANKS, I JUST COULDN'T PROVE IT. AND SHE GETS TO RULE SKELETON ISLAND? WHAT A SICK JOKE!
BOBBY! BOBBY! HOW MUCH LONGER? WHERE IS THE INGREDIENT?
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>5661571
Charge directly to the new ingredient
>>
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>>5661573
>>5661574
And so Quattro charges forward in a rage-fueled delirium.

And we will see what happens next.....in like 20 hours. OP gotta sleep now.

updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>5661557
ha, skeletits in his dreams
I knew it
>>
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bread
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>5662221
Could the legends be true? Alcohol is made with bread?!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>5662221
Why are we still here? Just to suffer?
>>
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>>5662222
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>5662230
What the hell was that!? It's not safe for bread-kind here, better skeddadle.
>>
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>>5662231
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>5662236
Come to think off it, where is here? It was never established where we went after Dracula's Castle, it was all done off-screen.
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>5662236
Back to our usual time wasting Shenanigans.
Quattro continues on his journey for some drink.. in the meantime Shotasniffer trains
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>5662236
throw heavy glass bottle at it
>>
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>>5662237
Well anon, clearly, after Dracula's castle, the Chillsaders went to...

A. The hidden temple In a secret valley
B. The temple deep inside an ancient jungle
C. The temple on a hidden mountain range
D. Shotasniffer's bedroom
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>5662242
D
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>5662242
>A. The hidden temple In a secret valley
Quattro just bowled over a herd of Americans taking pictures of the Grand Canyon. Very rude.
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>5662242
>E
the mystery room
>>
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>>5662245
>the Grand Canyon
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>5662248
Quattro falls over the edge 'cause he ain't stopping for some bitch-ass canyon.
>>
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>>5662250
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>5662252
Now, Quattro, gather all your powers and strike at the canyon floor!
>>
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Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>5662253
CAN HE DO IT?

The Quatt has a +30 bonus
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>5662256
CAN HE DO IT!?
>>
>>5662256
kill the kanyen
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>5662261
fuck
>>
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>>5662258
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>5662266
Great, that ought to have relieved some of Quattro's aggression. Now we can begin searching the entirety of the Grand Canyon for the hidden temple.
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>5662266
Get ready to comb out the canyon fellas
>>
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>>5662273
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>5662278
Now get to work!
Meanwhile at the spess steshun..
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>5662279
>>5662278
No, I think you mean 'Meanwhile, in the Moon Tournament'. We've not had a proper fight interlude yet, now it is time to see how the tournament is progressing.
>>
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>>5662281
>>5662279
Of course, of course. Back on THE MOON, the Chillsaders are closely monitoring the fights that are taking place all over the surface of the satellite planet
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>5662289
*ring ring*
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>5662289
Do we have any clear favourites emerging? Let us see the fighters that have knocked out the most opponents.
>>
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>>5662291
Right now it's still anybody's game as the fighters are taking each other out. So far, there hasn't been any standouts, yet. Let us take a peek into one of the ongoing fights, featuring:

A. One of the skele sibblings
B. Two of the skele sibblings
C. Complete randos
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>5662292
>B
>>
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>>5662293
"You can't stop me, Jill"

"A traitor like you won't beat me, Betty"
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>5662305
The fight is guaranteed to be won by Jill. Because sooner or later Betty is just gonna die of heat stroke in that suit
>>
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Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>5662305
YOOOO, LET'S GO! KICK HER ASS, JILL!
>>
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>>5662307
"Yeah! So to have a chance, Betty would have to start stripping!.....Stripping off her coat! Yes! And only her overcoat! That's what I meant! S-Stop looking at me like that"
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>5662310
I'm just being rational here. Think about it logically for a moment. A fight is exhausting, sweaty business.
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>5662310
It's OK, Betty has a tank-top underneath. It's family friendly and not lewd at all.
>>
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>>5662313
>>
>>5662325
Oh shit, Betty got big ol' betties
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>5662327
>>5662325
>>
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>>5662330
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>5662331
I mean... uuuhh
Hey is that Quattro doing a thing!?
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>5662331
OH SHIT JILL IS GOING IN!!!
>>
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>>5662332
"right, back to monitoring Quattro's progress. You're on thin ice, buddy"
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>5662331
OH SHIT!! JILL IS ALSO IN A TANK-TOP AND GOONG IN FOR THIS KILL!!!
>>
>>5662339
That tank top is also thin....
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>5662339
>>5662339
>>
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>>5662345
What could he mean by this
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>5662346
It's the percentage chance that Jill has to beat Betty. They appear to be evenly matched! What a fantastic fight it'll be!
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>5662346
Abstract substance of the booby to butt ratio
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>5662346
Nothing. Anon is perfectly balanced, as all thongs should be.
>>
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>>5662348
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>5662365
OH FUCK!!! BETTY IS IN THE PERFECT POSITION FOR A CROTCH PUNCH!! IS SHE GOING FOR IT!?
>>
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>>5662370
"Y-you wouldn't do that, w-would you, sis?"
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>5662376
YOU CAN BLOCK IT JILL! THE POWER OF THE HAT IS WITH YOU!
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>5662376
Back to quattro, we will see the results later
>>
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>>5662379
"OH GOD I CAN'T WATCH THIS"
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>5662386
“I can. Recording this shit.”
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>5662386
[AUDIBLE GASP]
>>
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>>5662388
"oh shit"
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>5662390
What is happening!? Show the screen, you hack!
>>
File: 1.png (16 KB, 900x900)
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>>5662391
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>5662401
The crowd starts booing Betty for performing one of the lowest of low blows against a family member no less.
>>
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>>5662403
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>5662409
Come on Jill, get back up! Don't take this lying down, the crowd is with you!
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>5662409
C'mon Jill, use this betrayal as fuel and give it back to her ten fold!
>>
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>>5662411
"hrrghhh.....B-betty.....you've been....training with Rasputin, huh"
>>
>>5662423
Take a poak bun energy boost, Jill!
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>5662423
RUN
"EVERYONE MOB ON BETTY PLEASE*
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>5662424
>>5662423
Sorry I am a Billy of the silly variety
>>
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>>5662427
Yeah anon just a silly lil guy. A lil goofy. A bit of a goober.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>5662428
Dawww... you got me dead to rights! Or just dead
>>
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>>5662429
>>
>>5662429
>>5662428
Dead. Just dead.
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>5662432
What's supposed to be the plan, let Betty pass so that she can be in the finals?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>5662432
I am reborn as a skelly
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>5662432
Jill fights back with the power of the hat!
>>
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>>5662434
"There's a specific plan? I thought it was just let the tournament play out by itself and have Rasputin or Quattro mop up the finalist"

"I think Quattro told me something about his super duper cool and awesome plan to get Betty back on our side"

"So what is it?"

"I'm not sure, he just yelled something about being so cool she'll have to acknowledge him as the coolest sibling"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>5662446
…! Guys. Guys guys guys guysguysguysguysguysGUYS!

Isn’t it Betty’s birthday today?
>>
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>>5662449
"It is?"

"ya sure?"

"Shit. I gotta check"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>5662453
Release the confetti! It'll be a hit with the crowds and the fighters.
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>5662456
>>5662453
Shit, did everyone get her a present!?
>>
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>>5662458
"Oh fuck, is it really her birthday?"

"Shit, I haven't prepared anything"
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>5662465
The remaining footage of the fight has been censored for being too sexy.
>>
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>>5662466
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>5662465
Shit fuck huh huuuuuuuuuuwhats in your pockets? Anything in there to give??
>>5662466
And gorey*
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>5662467
Mean while in the land of the man with no game!
>>
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>>5662471
The Man with No Game is also a contestant. Currently fighting against....some guy
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>5662483
And there's some loser cowboy fighting called...Fester...something
>>
>>5662483
Hey that’s not OP.
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>5662483
"Reckon this is your last chance to just walk way, compadre, else you're gonna yee your last haw."
>>
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>>5662487
"A cowboy? Really? Don't you think that's a bit out of season by now?"

"You're one to talk, Mr. Knight"

"I'm not just a knight. I'm a Vampire Hunter Knight! That adds extra flavor"
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>5662496
"Hey it's me, Fester Winchester, here to-"
"KILL HIM"
>>
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>>5662499
"YEAH WELL FUCK YOU GUYS I GOT A MECH"
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>5662504
"OBLIGATORY CAMEO FROM THE LAST QUEST"
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>5662505
>>5662504
It's Gustave the Space Knight, having arrived at the Tournament to finally get his epic battle.
>>
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>>5662505
>>5662507
"HEY! THERE BETTER NOT BE ANY NON-YURI HAPPENING OVER THE--"
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>5662509
"BRING ME YOUR STRONGEST FIGHTERS, I SHALL LET MY BLADE JUDGE THEIR WORTHYNESS!"
>>
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>>5662514
"DOES NO ONE DARE CHALLENGE THE LASER SCYTHE BLADE OF GUSTAVE?!"

"I WILL GIVE YOU THE CHALLENGE YOU DESIRE, SPACE KNIGHT. I CANNOT BE DEFEATED HERE, FOR I SERVE A GREATER PURPOSE THAN MERELY FINDING A WORTHY FIGHT!"

"HOLY SHIT A VAMPIRE"
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>5662519
Reeeeee!
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>5662519
Epic duel commence between the vampire and Gustave.
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>5662519
I think somebody rigged the matches for Betty, she's just fighting grunts while the rest of the entrants are doing a battle royale
>>
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>>5662524
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>5662531
>>5662528
Also our main siblings are disappearing for some reason
>>
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oh shit it's already 9 AM. I can feel my head exploding. Gotta, uh, take a lil nap.

see ya next sesh, anons

updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
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>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>5663083
Throw a shuriken at the bread.
>>
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>>5663086
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>5663087
The bread uses the Body Replacement technique at the last moment to avoid the attack.
>>
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>>5663090
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>5663095
Do not despair, anon. You were already dead before the battle began.
>>
>>5663095
YOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
>>
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>>5663096
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>5663104
The bread wins it's first battle! This tournament sure is wild!
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>5663104
ANOTHER COMPETITOR HAS BEEN ELIMINATED FROM THE BATTLE ROYALE
>>5662528
>>
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>>5663106
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>5663109
Bread gets bulldozed over by fight between Gustave and the Vampire.
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>5663109
>>5663111
Vampire Hunter Knight and The Man with No Game also start attacking the Handsome Vampire
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>5663109
Quattro
>>
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>>5663115
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>5663123
This battle royale is getting more cameos by the minute!
>>
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>>5663128
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>5663139
Meanwhile, on Tatooine- ergh I mean 'In the Grand Canyon'
>>
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>>5663140
OH MY GOD! QUATTRO IS BEING ATTACKED BY THE SARLAC--I mean, uh, THE GRAND CANYON MONSTER
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>5663145
ROSA! YOU NEED TO SHOOT THE TOUNGE SO IT RELEASES QUATTRO! USE THE BLASTER PISTOL!
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>5663145
The fabled blaster...
>>
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>>5663146
"OH MY GOD ROSA CAN YOU MAKE THE SHOT?"

A. Yes
B. No
C. Rosa opted to use her mech's blaster instead, blowing up the entire creature and part of Tatooin--I mean the grand canyon
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>5663160
D. Quattro forbids them to intervene.
Watch this, fools. Quattro is not in danger, he *IS* the danger
>>
>>5663160
>C
>>
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>>5663161
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>5663165
You really want to eat me? The second you do, you will die of alcohol poisoning
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>5663165
It's time for the Quattening.
>>
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>>5663168
HE'S QUATTING ALL OVER THE MONSTER'S INSIDES
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>5663171
1 Quatillion Dollars
>>
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>>5663173
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>5663180
Damn. Those pesky reds stand no chance against great Quattro.
Anyway, boss, we combed so hard the comb broke. But I found this weird cactus over here
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>5663182
>>5663180
No worries, the Sarla-- Grand Canyon Monster was guarding the entrance to the hidden temple. Defeating it has opened the way.
>>
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>>5663184
Yeeey
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>5663193
Something unexpected happens
>>
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>>5663194
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>5663198
AAAAH!
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>5663198
Quattro be keepint it real. Keeping it smooth. He is the eldest and he radiates wisdom and has insane style at the same time. Truly he is the greatest.
But whats taht on his shirt?
>>
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>>5663200
Oh phew, don't worry anon, it's just a nightmare
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>5663203
Check under the covers
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>5663203
Yeah, you would have been wearing it instead if it was a good dream
>>
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>>5663205
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>5663209
INSIDE THE SECRET TEMPLE!
(you're trespassing)
>>
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>>5663210
DUN DUN
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>5663215
"Sir, if you please leave, we are ancient guardians determined to protect this place from-"
KICK TO THE HEAD
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>5663215
You stand in the way of my Ascension. I would implore you to not hinder me in my search for the ingredient, it may end badly for you.
>>
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Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>5663217
Roll 1d100 for QUATTRO KICK
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>5663230
1 Quatrillion
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>5663230
Oh lord...
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>5663230
10 QUATRILLION!
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>5663230
>>
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wow isn't it sad that Quattro can't have a good roll, what a shame
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>5663243
>>5663230
>>
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Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>5663243
Napalm bomb OP's house.
>>
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Wow isn't it sad that there isn't a post about napalming OP's house so he'd pay for his crimes, what a shame
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>5663249
Do not give OP anymore money
>>
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>>5663251
OP immediately dies
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>&g