>>5636268
Current Cabinet of the United States:

>President of the United States of America: Donald Trump (MISSING), Michael Flynn
>Vice President: VACANT
>Secretary of State: Brandon
>Secretary of the Treasury: Michael Flynn
>Secretary of Defense: Michael Flynn
>Attorney General: VACANT
>Secretary of the Interior: Dr. Jack Bright
>Secretary of Agriculture: VACANT
>Secretary of Commerce: VACANT
>Secretary of Labor: The IKEA Board of Directors
>Secretary of Health and Human Services: VACANT
>Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Dr. Jack Bright
>Secretary of Transportation: Elon Musk
>Secretary of Energy: VACANT
>Secretary of Education: VACANT
>Secretary of Veterans Affairs: VACANT
>Secretary of Homeland Security: Hate-Monger
>Secretary of News: SATAN
>White House Chief of Staff: Hate-Monger
>Ambassador to the United Nations: VACANT
>Director of National Intelligence: VACANT
>Director of the Office of Management and Budget: A Bunch of Random Cats
>National Security Advisor: Henry Kissinger

New players may pick a VACANT position, or claim an occupied one if its owner does not post for 3 turns.

You can make one assassination attempt per thread on another Cabinet member. Roll 1d100 for offense, 1d100 for defense, and best roll wins.

You may also pursue your own agenda, with whatever departmental resources you have at your disposal. Roll 1d100 for each action you wish to take.

The President has veto powers over anything cabinet decides.

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>>5636270

The war with Disney has been ongoing for some months now, and you’ve faced much difficulty. America has the most powerful army in the world, but Disney has covered the state of Florida in a black clouds emanating from Disneyworld, and they have unleashed terrifying beasts that have struck terror into your brave troops. In response you developed the S.H.R.E.K program, Super Human and Robust Evil Killer, giant green ogres that have been able to defeat Disney’s foul hellspawn. But now Bob Iger, CEO of Disney, has come to you requesting a “negotiation” with terms of surrender. You’ve decided to hear his plea, and he’s been taken to the White House to make his case.

At a meeting with all of you present Bob Iger makes his case. He’s quick and to the point.
In short: You and Disney are currently at a stalemate. You don’t have the resources to take Disneyland, and they can’t push you out of Florida. Disney would also like to go back to one of America’s most popular media companies, so he’s proposing a compromise: You let them keep Disneyland and Orlando, along with allowing them to focus on diversity and representation in all new media, and they’ll close the pit they dug in Disneyland and stop the summoning. You'll also give him and Disney immunity from prosecution. They won’t be able to get rid of the black clouds though, he thinks that’s permanent.

What is your response?
>We don’t negotiate with terrorists! Refuse.
>You need to free up the troops, and continuing to fight Disney will be a headache. Accept his offer.
>Make a counter offer, something more to your benefit perhaps? (Write in)

>>5636272
>Counter Offer
Give disney a small loan of a million dollars to sell their summoning hole to us

>>5636341
Supporting. He can have his ommunity from prosecution, too because we'll just send the secret police to assassinate him

>>5636272
See above. Welcome back!

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>>5636272
>You need to free up the troops, and continuing to fight Disney will be a headache. Accept his offer.

I suggest that we execute Operation Sponge.
I'll hire the best assassin on the dark web, the Open Window Maniac, to severy injure Bob Iger during the negotiations, making it look like he was trying to kill Bob. I'll open some windows in the negotiation room for "fresh air" beforehand. What the Open Window Maniac doesn't know, is that I will heroically kill him in retaliation the moment he stabs/shoots Bob, preventing anyone from finding out I hired him. We get Bob to the hospital as fast as possible and actually try to save his life, so that everyone at Disney doesn't think that we were involved in his death, and hope to God that he doesn't recover and dies. I'll also hire some people to set up some "blockades" to make the trip to the hospital longer. After that, when Disney staff chooses their next CEO, we'll bribe them to choose someone who supports our ideas and values. I'm willing to invest a billion dollars for this.

>>5636570
Jack, look at the big picture, we could buy the summoning hole. THEN KILL HIM

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>>5636272
>We don’t negotiate with terrorists! Refuse.
We're so back!

>>5636696
>no name or trip
>I still know who it is from the pic
Cats are here, our date is clear.

>>5636624
I highly doubt that Disney would be willing to sell their summoning hole. Also, i highly prefer that Disney doesn't find out that we were the one that killed their CEO, and that we frame someone else instead.

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>>5636750
Better believe it!

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>Counter offer

Bob Iger is taken aback by your counter offer. It seems like he wasn’t expecting you to want the hole. He excuses himself for a few minutes to make some calls before returning back to the room. He’s smiling happily as he declares: “We have a deal.” You all get up and shake hands with him, and the deal is brokered. You’ll pull your troops back and let Disney go back to normal, while they’ll give you the summoning hole for a million dollars. Iger doesn’t actually know the exact condition of Disneyland, since they just hired some consultants to do it for them, but he’s sure you’ll be able to do something with it. Pretty soon he’s on a plane back to Disney HQ while the FBC and SCP Foundation start assessing the site.

Summoning Hole gained!

The first reports on the site are rough. Apparently Disney was close to summoning some sort of demon from what they think is hell, but due to the conflict they were interrupted halfway through and all that’s left is the glowing red hole and a giant corpse. Security and secrecy is going to be an issue, since Disney demolished the Disney castle to make the hole, though they’ve closed off that section of the park while they build a new area elsewhere, and the site itself has a bunch of corpses and symbols lying about the place.
You now have to decide what to do with it.

>Begin immediate work on resuming the summoning! You must have what it was they were trying to create.
>Analyse the corpse before you start on anything. Don’t want to summon something you can’t handle.
>Turn it into a containment site first, for better security and safety if anything goes wrong.
>Begin sending expeditions into the hole to discover what lies at the bottom.
>Someone’s suggested you use the hole for permanent geothermal energy. Who knows, you might be able to use that for something else down the line.

>>5623285
The cat expedition is sadly a failure. They get too cold and can't dig through the ice for fish, so they quickly return to their warmer homes.

>>5623374
Unfortunately, the demon is unable to subvert Disney. He says they're already doing every evil thing imaginable, corrupting the children, human trafficking, tax fraud, etc. that he really doesn't know what to do. Guess you'll have to find another way if you want to continue fighting them.

>>5624538
Blackrock begrudgingly accepts that they will meet with the Acting President. If his schedule is free that is.

>>5624810
>>5624891
The Mercenaries are hired, but it seems like most of them are bumbling idiots whose only experience is trying to kill each other. On the way to a meeting of Biden supporters they catch sight of a red steel mill and start fighting amongst themselves before suddenly returning emptyhanded.

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Rolled 58, 35, 87, 25 = 205 (4d100)

In the search for Hyperborea, you also begin expanding your line of control, building stations and bases to push further into the frozen North. It’ll be difficult, but if you can get these stations up and running you’ll be closer to discovering what lies beneath the polar ice caps. These things are essential to support expeditions in the very centre, but they’ll be vulnerable to enemy interference if not protected properly!

Roll 2d100 to build two polar expeditionary and research stations. Bo3.

Foreign Hyperborea Actions

Roll order: Canada, Denmark, Norway, Russia. (Each roll corresponds to each faction)
Canada sends a delegation to the UN to protest your claims on the Arctic territories.
Denmark sends an expedition into the wastes to discover more of Hyperborea.
Norway expands its effective line of control.
Russia sends an expedition into the wastes to discover more of Hyperborea.

>>5637884
can i write in for this, or do we only have the 5 options?

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>>5637884
>Turn it into a containment site first, for better security and safety if anything goes wrong.
This sort of thing seems like SCP work.

Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>5637884
>Turn it into a containment site first, for better security and safety if anything goes wrong.
>Then, send that demon agent of our to investigate
Geothermal energy will take away good, American coal, oil, and gas jobs. No thanks.

>>5637893
Rolling!

Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>5638270
>>5637893
I forgot second die. I hope it's better than the first.

>>5638254
Yes, you can always do a write in.

>>5637884
>(write in) nuke it.

>>5638434
Sounds like a good way to get radioactive demons. Which is wunderbar but I want them under our control, ja?

Rolled 34 (1d100)

id like to use my assassination attempt on Doctor Jack Bright

>>5638477
Aber warum?

Rolled 86, 56 = 142 (2d100)

>>5637884
>Turn it into a containment site first, for better security and safety if anything goes wrong.
Secure. Contain. Protect. :)
>>5637893
Rolling

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>>5638477
Bruh.

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Rolled 23, 5, 1 = 29 (3d100)

>>5637884
Oh shit, we’re back!
>Turn it into a containment site first, for better security and safety if anything goes wrong.
>Begin sending expeditions into the hole to discover what lies at the bottom.

>>5637892
Wonderful! I personally can’t wait for a demonstration of their loyalty!

>>5637893
Rollin

3rd roll is to Zuni Reverse Card Canada and protest that Canada’s Artic Territories are in fact rightfully American. Would appreciate some assistance on this matter if it’s needed.

>>5638477
>34
>l-lewd
I see you tried to convince the Fox-woman to do the deed against Dr. Bright. I applaud your creativity, if not the infighting.

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>>5638735
>1
Back to tradition I see.

I would love some assistance in this matter my wonderful cabinet members.

>>5638481
ugly

>>5638731
Gonna have to roll to defend against that assassination attempt.

>>5638735
lol the curse continues

>>5638871
q i never really foudn out, if the attempt gets beat does the one calling the assassination die, or is it just like
>rolled a 60
>rolled a 61, beat the assassin
>go on with our lives

>>5638874
If the target survives, there's nothing preventing them from making a counter-assassination attempt. I might change the one thread limit too, maybe add a going into hiding option as well.

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>>5638883
>go into hiding
>still active in government
Kek

>>5638883
how about an attempt every like, 3-4 turns

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Would still love some assistance dudes.

>>5638871
Gotta love that first roll nat 1 meme.

>>5639112
I did my best, Herr Amtierender Präsident (>>5638270 >>5638271)

Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>5638871

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Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>5639112
Let me give it a go Mr. President!

Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>5639112
allow some swedish nerds to try

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>>5639184
It's been one of those days.

Rolled 84 (1d100)

Rolling to make a counter-assassination attempt on the IKEA Board of Directors

You decide to build a containment facility over the summoning hole, and prepare to send an expedition down to explore it. With the expertise of the SCP Foundation and FBC, a robust containment facility is quickly constructed, though there are some security flaws with it being in the middle of Disneyland. Nevertheless, while the Disney faithful (regular folks haven’t started returning to the parks yet) are a little confused at the giant government-owned cube in the middle of the park, they don’t interfere much at all. However, you’ll need to decide on the security measures, since it’s something you’ve never really tackled before. What do you want the security to be like?

>Focused on containing anything that comes from the hole. You don’t want anything escaping.
>Focused on keeping the public out. You don’t want somebody wandering in and falling down the hole.
>None. You just want to keep your workers dry when they’re down there.
>Write in?

One other issue the facility, and the coming expedition, needs someone to supervise the project and direct it’s mission. Someone from one of you. Who will be put in charge of the Disneyland Containment Site?

>Elect someone to be responsible for the site.

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Hyperborea Actions

Your efforts in the polar north are of middling success. Polar Station Alpha is a big success, an advanced and secure base of operations from which you can venture out safely without having to rely on small runways and bases in Alaska, but Station Beta is shoddily constructed, and isn’t much more than a glorified weather station. Still, with the creation of Station Alpha, expeditions and construction of more bases deeper in the polar wastes should be much easier.

+5 to all rolls operating within the Arctic circle.

Canada: 58
The Canadians have sent a particularly strong delegation to the UN to protest your “land grab”, claiming that if not them, then it must be shared with the entire world. They have a lot of success, with many nations voicing support for the project, but they’re unable to get the UN to rescind your claims.

Denmark: 35
The Danes send an expedition to start digging in the wastes. Unfortunately, they’re unable to find anything, and they’re forced to return emptyhanded.

Norway: 87
The Norwegians have created a polar base on Svalbard! Little information is available, but it looks like they’re getting serious about exploring the Arctic. It’s going to take a lot of effort to dislodge them now.

Russia: 25
Russia has also sent an expedition to discover more of Hyperborea, but it seems they’ve had trouble with their submarines and have been forced to turn back. Guess they need to work on that maintenance.

Other Actions

>>5638477
>>5639161
>>5639210
The IKEA Board of Directors has decided that Dr. Jack Bright must be gotten rid of, and have launched an assassination plot against him! Unfortunately for them, working with the SCP Foundation has its benefits, mainly that they're able to protect him from any would be assassins (not that Dr Bright can be killed anyway). However, Dr Bright launches his own counter-assassination plan against them! It remains to be seen if the IKEA Board can survive such a mistake.

From now on assassinations can be made every 3 turns.

>>5638735
President Flynn decides to make an appear directly to the UN, and convince them that Canada's arctic territories really belong to America. Unfortunately, he makes a major gaffe when he refers to the Canadians as "those limp-dicked cretins and Castro's bastard Trudeau" on a hot mike before making his press conference, and he subtly threatens the use of nuclear weapons on anyone who will infringe on America's rightfully claimed territory. In an emergency session of the UN later that night they decide to revoke their previous declaration and give all America's claims to Canada. Unfortunate.

>>5640335
>Focused on keeping the public out. You don’t want somebody wandering in and falling down the hole.

>Elect SATAN
Seems apt.

>>5640359
I propose we team up with Russia and declare war on Norway to defend out territorial integrity. Their base violates our fate-decreed sovereignty!

A shame Herr Ye is not still here to sway the United Nations...

>>5640335
>Write in
Focus 90% on containing anything that comes from the hole, and 10% on keeping the public out. If anybody asks, we're performing maintenance on Disneyland's sewer system. We'll claim that there's an unusually high concentration of sewer gas, and multiple leaks have been found.
I'll elect Satan.
>>5640359
It's true that I can't die, but it is possible to kill my host body, throw anomaly 963 in a very secure safe, and throw away the key. If that happened, my consciousness would be stuck in there for approximately thousands of years.
>>5640376
I support the proposal to team up with Russia.

Rolled 91 (1d100)

Rolling to spend some quality time with 953. I want to get to know her better, and I would like for her to know me better.

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Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>5640335
>Focused on containing anything that comes from the hole. You don’t want anything escaping.

Send some feline emissaries to the Russians for an increase our cooperation with Hyperborea (and just making a stronger alliance in general), surely they would love a good kot. Right?
Rolling for how it goes.

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>>5641061
I guess not, eh?

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Rolled 89, 26 = 115 (2d100)

>>5640335
>Dr. Brights plan
>Satan, if he’s still around

>>5640359
I’m going an a diplomatic blitz to regain all of America’s claims on Hyperborea and the Arctic, and I’m ordering the military to begin constructing military bases on said claims, regardless of diplomatic recognition.

>>5640376
Roll for something, Herr Hate-Monger!

>>5640936
>pic related

>>5641061
>>5641064
I feel ya feline bros.

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Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>5640376
>>5640359
>>5641423
I'll get my elven agent all geared up in appropriate diplomatic attire (see attached) and send her with the Cats' Russian delegation, equipepd with Hate-Ray (TM) technology, to help steer Russian animsoity away from us and towards Norway. Fuck Norway.

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>>5641423

Rolled 24, 42 = 66 (2d100)

>Focus 90% on containing anything that comes from the hole, and 10% on keeping the public out. If anybody asks, we're performing maintenance on Disneyland's sewer system. We'll claim that there's an unusually high concentration of sewer gas, and multiple leaks have been found.
>SATAN has been elected administrator of the Site (I'll be honest guys, I think he's gone)

Soon, the containment site is constructed, titled the Park and Company Sewers, to keep it relatively undercover. Digging a hole in the middle of Disneyland really messed up the sewage apparently. The public should hopefully buy it.

Now, for the exploration of the hole. You've no way to tell what's at the bottom of it without sending someone down there, so you're sending a 7-man crew, to make sure that everyone's safe and accounted for. They'll be lowered down in a large cage, connected to a winch at the top of the facility. The team members will be wearing protective suits, to keep them safe from the heat and anything else that might pop up. Everything should be as safe as can be, or so you're told by the science team on-site. Now it's just a matter of waiting for them to return.

Roll 7d100 for the success of the mission. Bo3.

Please ignore the roll I am making.

inb4 several critfails

(Hyperborea updates and more coming soon, just been busy lately)

if i never respond to the assassination attempt, i never have to die

Rolled 13, 39, 9, 16, 48, 92, 36 = 253 (7d100)

>>5643115
Rolling
>>5643229
Oh, you must be the new IKEA Board of Directors. I'm Doctor Jack Bright, nice to meet you. The old IKEA board of directors tried to assassinate me, but failed. I hope you won't make the same mistake they did. :)

Rolled 63, 32, 63, 68, 5, 13, 48 = 292 (7d100)

>>5643115

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Rolled 96, 86, 45, 37, 50, 30, 76 = 420 (7d100)

>>5643115
You are all the best of the best, and I’m proud to be your Commander-in-Chief. Godspeed, Gentlemen.

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>>5643779
>420

What a glorious day to be an American…

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>>5643779
>420

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Disney Hole Expedition Results:

>96, 86, 63, 68, 50, 92, 76-
>420!!!!

The Acting President himself arrives to see the brave souls off as they venture into the depths. These patriotic citizens are venturing into the dangerous unknown, with a high chance they may never return. It is only fitting that their glorious leader gives them a firm handshake and salute before wishing them the best as they board the elevator. Slowly, to the cheers and shouts of support of the facility personnel, they are lowered into the darkness…

It is several hours later that Control receives a request to pull the elevator up. They do so immediately, and soon the elevator, containing all 7 members of the expedition, has returned back to the facility. There’s something strange about them though… they all seem… stoned?

After immediate assessment by the site doctors and much interrogation, the full story comes out. They had gone down for several hours before arriving in a brightly lit cavern, with a bunch of weed plants. Exploring more, they eventually met a worker, who looked like a demon and spoke English, and they found out they’d stumbled on hell’s weed farms. Guess it really is the devils lettuce. The demon worker was kind enough to let your men take some for themselves before they left, and they spent the trip back up smoking it all. You’re pretty sure that’s what happened and it’s not them smoking hallucinogenic laced weed.

What will you do next?
>Send some representatives down to start diplomatic ties and trade with Hell. It’s an untapped market!
>Send covert agents down to gather as much information about Hell as possible.
>It’s Hell! You’re sending the army down there to seize control and possible destroy it!
>Now you have to try a summoning. If it’s really a hole to Hell, then if you can summon a proper demon you’ll be unstoppable!
>Write in?

>>5643962
The situation in Hyperborea is also rapidly developing. Forward Operating Bases are being constructed, and you’ve taken the first steps to get closer to the frozen centre. However, there is also the major issue of you losing all your claims. President Flynn’s speech and actions have united the United Nations, a first for the organisation. You are now (according to the UN) illegally operating in Canadian territory, and they are free to take any actions to remove you. They don’t have a military strong enough to defeat yours, but they can still lob missiles at your base or recruit other nations to help remove your presence in “their territory”. There’s also talk of sanctioning you, to “encourage” a more peaceful and “democratic” direction to follow.

What will you do?
>Ignore it, and continue sending expeditions deep into the Arctic waste. Nobody has been successful yet, but you’re sure you’ll be the first.
>Expand your effective line of control by constructing stations and bases. Now you’ve built your first, you need to build even more!
>Throw the full force of your weight against the UN! Time you taught them a lesson to never interfere in your projects!
>Canada, and Trudeau, must be eliminated. High time you got rid of them for good.

The IKEA Board of Directors has also decided to take no action against the assassins sent by Dr Bright. They are continuing their day to day operations, though they’ve also stopped coming to cabinet meetings. This has confused the assassins, who identify it as an obvious trap or trick, and have ignored the Board to go in search of the actual Board’s location. So far, they have been unable to find them. (This means it’s open season you two)

Henry Kissinger also has some words of advice for you all: “Do not be distracted by this Hyperborea nonsense. Joseph Biden is still out there, planning, and the country is not entirely stable yet. The world is also waiting for the American empire to fall, and swoop on the corpse. Russia and China would be very happy if that came to be. And President Trump’s body still hasn’t been found…”

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>5643962
>Send some representatives down to start diplomatic ties and trade with Hell. It’s an untapped market!
Satan and our summoned demon can advance this diplomatic entreaty. Can't be any worse than North Korea, and our lord and savior Donald Trump (wherever he is) made THAT work!

>>5643964
>Ignore it, and continue sending expeditions deep into the Arctic waste. Nobody has been successful yet, but you’re sure you’ll be the first.
>Try to get Russia and China on-side against the so-called tolerant West
Maybe its time we reconsidered Herr Putin's deal to pick a Vice President, as much as I hate to place my trust in a Slav...

>>5643962
>Send covert agents down to gather as much information about Hell as possible.
I support the idea of diplomatic ties and trade with Hell, but I'd like to learn more about the demons first. Also from that meme Q posted, I'm guessing that the ruler of Hell is Satania.
>>5643964
Supporting Hate-Monger's idea here >>5644046
I recommended it in the first thread, and i'm reccomending it again in this one. An alliance of the 3 most powerful countries in the world, the United States, China, and Russia, is our best bet to get what we want.

I also would like to know when the "regular folks" return to Disneyland.

>>5643962
>Send covert agents down to gather as much information about Hell as possible.

>>5643964
>Try to get Russia and China on-side against the so-called tolerant West

Updating in 12ish hours.

>Send covert agents down to gather as much information about Hell as possible.

You decide to play it safe, and gather as much intelligence as possible before making a proper decision. You don't want to let on that you know about hell after all, or have an entrance. You make sure to select for individuals who won't start smoking weed this time, and prep them adequately. Now that you know there's solid ground down there and it's seems inhabitable for humans, it's just a matter of getting your best infiltrators and intel gatherers from across the country. They're sent down the elevator again, this time to discover the secrets of Hell.

Roll 1d100 Bo3 to see how much you can discover.

Hyperborea Actions

>Try to get Russia and China on-side against the so-called tolerant West

Cabinet decides to take up the Hate-Mongers suggestion, to approach Russia and China to help with the increasingly intolerant West. Their embassies are surprised by your offer, but after calls to their leaders they quickly cooperate. A formal meeting will be held in Washington, seemingly to discuss relations and diplomatic goodwill, but in actuality it will be a meeting between all leaders to discuss the terms of the agreement you're pursuing. It is an unprecedented move, inviting Russia and China to washington to discuss things amicably, and there are high expectations of what will be produced.

What will your attitude to this meeting and deal be?
>An alliance of convenience, you have a common enemy in The Western nations, and you want to be rid of them. After that, there's no guarantees.
>An alliance with you as the head. You are the most powerful nation in the world after all, you just need some assistance in squashing these annoyances.
>Cooperation between equals.

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Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>5647983
We doing this? I guess we’re doing this.

>An alliance with you as the head. You are the most powerful nation in the world after all, you just need some assistance in squashing these annoyances.

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Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>5647983
>Cooperation between equals.
That's their big shtick, no? Something something, multipolarity.
Of course just because we say we'll play by their rules doesn't mean we actually will.

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>5647983
>Cooperation between equals.

>>5647983
>Cooperation between equals.
For now.

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>5648275
>>5647983
Dice didn't take, trying again...

>>5648270
Perhaps I do not need to though.

>>5648039
>>5648132
>>5648270
>96!

It's only a few hours before Disney Containment Site receives a transmission, which is strange, because you didn't give the team any radios. As you listen in you hear the team leader give his report:
Apparently Hell is real and packed with all sorts of fancy gear and tech, plus innumerable hordes of demons. The team has even managed to kidnap one and interrogated it to great success, and now they have the beans on pretty much how the entirety of hell is run.

Turns out the souls of every evil human toils down here, along with Lucifer's fallen angels. The angels apparently outnumber the souls. In charge of everything is Lucifer himself, crown prince of darkness, and apparently a guy with quite a temper. From what the team has manaegd to gather however is that he doesn't hate humanity itself, and may be open to some kind of diplomatic dialogue. There's also a lot of valuable resources down here, resources which could really accelerate your country beyond all others. However, Lucifer is quite touchy, and it would be easy to provoke him into attacking you if you were to accidentally insult him. Additionally, there's going to be a significant cost to anything you do down here with his help. A deal with the devil, as it were.

How should you respond?
>Authorise them to make contact with Hell proper, and perhaps begin working out some kind of formal diplomatic relationship.
>Pull them out, and quietly seal up the hole. Maybe it's best you don't have anything to deal with that.
>Pull them out, and prep the troops. You're invading Hell and woe be to anything that stands in your way!
>Write in?

You also decide that the meeting between you, China, and Russia will be one of equals. You will respect their opinions and needs, and they will respect yours. The conference begins with earnest, diplomats from all sides conferring with each other and criss crossing the floor of the Capitol, where the meetings are being held. Eventually, a general proposal is set forth:

Russia wants free reign over Eastern Europe. From Ukraine to Poland, it wants it all in its sphere of influence, and Putin is also quietly requesting that you turn a blind eye to any USSR revival rhetoric that may pop up.

China wants the US out of Japan, and free reign to take Taiwan and generally do what it wants in the Pacific. I.e build lots and lots of islands.

If you agree to these, they will both pledge to support you in your efforts against the West, and will support you in the UN as best they can.

What do you say?

>Shake hands. The deal is signed.
>Refuse. This is ridiculous!
>Renegotiate, you can get something better. (how?)

I'll be honest, I'm getting a little tired of writing this. Seems to be just the three of you, and while I could continue it's just not fun without the chaos of numerous players. What are your thoughts? I can continue if you want, or end it here. I may or may not return with something new later, we'll see.

>>5652215
>Authorise them to make contact with Hell proper, and perhaps begin working out some kind of formal diplomatic relationship.
I think our summoned demon would do great at this, ja? A translator and intermediary. A native guide!

>Shake hands. The deal is signed.

IF a QM isn't having fun, the quest is doomed anyway. Maybe write an epilogue/ending with this last vote and do something you enjoy more?

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>>5652215
>Pull them out, and prep the troops. You're invading Hell and woe be to anything that stands in your way!
GET DOOMGUY ON THE PHONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISJR-1ohEOA

>Shake hands. The deal is signed.
For now, at least.

>spoiler
Damn, that's a shame. Still, if you don't find this enjoyable then it's best not to keep going. I'm glad you're at least telling us instead of flaking.
And I'll agree with Herr Hate-Monger about writing an epilogue if you like, though don't force yourself on it.

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>5652215
>Authorise them to make contact with Hell proper, and perhaps begin working out some kind of formal diplomatic relationship
>Shake hands. The deal is signed.
I agree to this deal, but I will highly suggest that China should have good relations with Japan.

Since this quest might end soon, i'm gonna do this now. Rolling to ask 953 to marry me.

>>5652244
>>5652291
>>5652411
Alright. I'll write one more update/epilogue and end it there. I may be back, we'll see. I did think this was fun, just I don't see much point in continuing to run it with only three players (but what wonderful players they have been!)

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>>5652215
>Hell and woe be to anything that stands in your way!

>Renegotiate, you can get something better. (Keep Japan- the Anime must flow)

Well, it’s been a pleasure being your President lads. I may have been busy irl, but I had I riot of a time, and wish Q and you lads the best in your new endeavors. God bless you, and God bless America!

>>5653501
I'll change my vote from shake hands to renegotiate. Perhaps Japan would be interested in joining our alliance.

I have done the best I can to get my favorite SCP ship some recognition on this thread. I will soon go on to share my otp ship to others.

>>5653567
I may not understand you, but I appreciate your dedication, Herr Doktor.

Btw, I'm a mongrel and a friend of many jews. Surprise! This was all satire and goofing around.

Rolled 1, 1 = 2 (2d2)

First Roll
1 = War with Hell
2 = Diplomatic Relations
Second Roll
1 = Sign the deal
2 = Renegotiate, Japan must be saved!

>>5653868
What the hell, I'll let Japan go anyway

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THE WAR WITH HELL
The decision was made. You could not in good conscience allow the source of all human suffering to continue. You would mount an invasion of Hell, striking at the very heart of evil! With the troops bloodied against Disney they were eager for a proper fight, and here you would bring the full force of the United States of America to bear against the evil!

It began early in the morning. Spec ops teams who had already infiltrated weeks earlier set off pre-placed bombs that shook the very foundations of Pandemonium. The Marines were the tip of the spear, coming down in specially constructed elevators you had spared no expense on. Hell didn’t know what hit them. A beachhead was quickly established, and troops massed above in the temporarily shut Disneyworld began descending, companies upon companies of men, tanks, and armoured vehicles securing the ground. The forces of Hell may be legion, but you had the might of the US Army, the finest men the world has ever known!

Your forces were only stopped at the fortress of Lucifer, where he and the rest of his demon advisors retreated to when they realised they could not hold you back. Maybe he thought he was safe there? Perhaps, while your troops had only tanks and missile launchers to breach the walls. But soon arrived the artillery, heavy guns and missile batteries that battered the walls of his citadel until it crumbled into ruin.
The fiery rivers of Hell were drowned that day by blood. Almost none were left alive, only a few demons were taken for study above ground by the FBC and SCP Foundation. Lucifer himself was buried beneath the collapse of the central tower when your men attached demolition charges to its base. Hell has been conquered.

>>5653895

HYPERBOREA

The negotiations with Russia and China go by quickly. You see the usefulness in their demands and strike the deal, though you request that China doesn’t take over Japan, to keep the anime safe. They agree, and promise not to invade.

With the alliance now struck President Flynn declares the exit of all three nations from the UN and the creation of the ALLIANCE OF POWER. The three of you declare you will work together for the common prosperity of your peoples, and the good of humanity in general whether they want it or not. The UN, Europe in particular, is not happy about this, along with a host of various international companies, but there’s not much they can do. You begin operations in the North Pole with Russia immediately, and when they begin general military invasion for the “liberation” of the ex-Soviet states from the grip of Europe you look the other way. Soon however, Hyperborea is discovered by your men, and the treasures of that ancient land are revealed! Underneath the ice there is an entire country, lost to time, holding advanced technology far beyond anyone’s capabilities, even your own!
You of course share the newfound treasures with Russia and China, and bring about an age of lasting peace as the three of you become the most advanced and prosperous nations in the world, reverse engineering the discovered artifacts to bring yourself to but a sliver of the glory of Hyperborea!

You have Made America Great Again!

Thank you to everyone for playing! I may do another round of this sometime, we’ll see. It’s been a pleasure writing regardless, and I hope you all have a good one.

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>>5653896
I may join the next round, as well as my Korean nine tailed fox wife :)

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>>5653896
Thank you for running, Q!

This was fun.

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Oh yeah, and someone should archive this thread.

>>5654137

Archived.

https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2023/5636268/

>>5653896
Thank you for running! Truly, you made /qst/ as great as you made America.

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>>5653896
It’s been a glorious time playing with y’all, I wish y’all the best.