>>5627757
>Choose a starting location for your adventure!

>The foot of the mountain where the cruel dragon known as the Lord of Soot lives...

>Uhh, isn't that underwater, Goblin King, we can't breathe underwater!

>A gingerbread house stands alone in a dark forest...

>Glowing bulbs with roots in the walls illuminate the soil of a grand underground...

>Is that a cloud? Goblin King, Goblin King, we goblins can't fly either!

>Upon the back of a titanic tortoise is a city of blue marble...

>Amid a sea of iron sand, a ship lies abandoned

>Atop a lonely hill is a white mansion, the door and windows are boarded up

>You start with 10 goblins in your band, roll 1d50 for how many extra goblin sneak in the portal or are thrown personally by the king.

>>5627758
>The Rules
>Skip to the bottom if rules make your head hurt.
In this quest, each goblin is represented by a 1d6. So if you have 20 goblins in your band, you have 20d6. On the roll of a 1 a goblin is incapacitated! In the case of a success, the goblin will not be counted on the next roll you make. In the case of a failure, 1s are fatal and the goblins die! You won't get them back until the goblin king sends them back to your band!

Each non-mutually exclusive choice divides the strength of the goblin band. So for example if two anons vote for gubbins and one for hoolyboo, the ratio is 2:1. However, 20 doesn't divide perfectly into three, 6.6whatever. Three sixes is only 18. Two goblins are left out. In our example case, gubbins had two votes, so it gets the extra goblins. So, 14d6 for gubbins and 6d6 for hoolyboo.

In the case of a total split that doesn't divide clean, say one for gubbins, one for hoolyboo and one sick anon actually voted for skuble. The ratio is 1:1:1. What happens to our two pitiful gobbos? They get discarded, unused as they are considered confused. So 6d6 for all actions and two unused confused goblins.

Now, what about mutually exclusive actions? There's actually two types! Say one anon votes to go right, one votes for fleeing and one votes for left, splitting the band is forbidden under pain of timeout! So a goblin fight occurs. In our example, three 6d6 are rolled and the highest wins! This is a true ME action.

In a goblin fight, no fatalities occur, goblins still get incapacitated though.

A pair of false ME actions would be say, kill an ugly peasant woman or save an ugly peasant woman. Both actions can't be physically done, but both are counted and rolled. The goblins try to do both and the highest rolls succeed. In the case of a draw, the goblin fail to do anything instead fighting among themselves.

In summary, make whatever choices you want and barring choices that would split the band, the goblins will attempt the action.

Now, you'll actually always be rolling against something. In the case of a peasant, it might be 3d6 worth of goblin strength. In the case of a strong wizard, it might be 2d100 or more. It might even be a storm with a strength of 10d20. I'll make such rolls when calling for your rolls.

If all this is a bit confusing to you, worry not, just forget about it and make choices, I'll be telling you what rolls need made anyway.

No rolls are needed for the starting location choice.

>>5627758
>Big Turtle

>>5627758
>Upon the back of a titanic tortoise is a city of blue marble...
I like turtles

>>5627767
>>5627811
Roll 1d50 for how many extra goblins you start with please

Rolled 22 (1d50)

>>5627767
>>5627811
There is sensation of being spread on bread like butter, tied to the back of a cat and chucked out a from a high tower. Then it ends and most of the band of goblins vomit out whatever they had eaten previously. Only some of it had been food. Understanding death as a very temporary state, (understanding might be a strong word for that), goblin among other behaviours, are wont to eat things no living being should.

"Ah, found dolly" one goblin cried out.
"Gob where?" "Where?" "Here" "Here be?" "Look, look! Big four legs!" "Looking" "Lookie" "Oooh" "Aaah"

"Look like swim thing Gob saw once! Tasty"
"Is no swim thing. Four-legs! Four!" "No fin, no swim!" "How many four?" "But tasty swim-snake swims!" "Yeah, no leg, no fin but swim" "Cook four-legs?" "One. There be one Four-legs" "No pot big enough" "Sad" "Boohoo" "Wahhwahh!" "Leg getting close" "Yes" "Maybe" "Stompy" "Stomps" "Flee?"

The goblin king had of course dropped the goblin band right beneath the tortoise. The goblins had a nice view of the belly which had a collection of basket like huts hanging from it, connected by swaying ropeways.

They also had a view of a ponderously approaching leg and foot of the tortoise, casting a grand shadow above them.

>What a lovely sight Gob! (Stay in place and enjoy the shade)
>No squishies! (Dodge)
>A way up to nice homes! (Dodge and then climb the leg when it is low enough)
>Gob it out (write in option)

>>5627900
You have 32 goblins in your band currently! 32d6!

>>5627900
>A way up to nice homes! (Dodge and then climb the leg when it is low enough)

>>5627902
Wait, am I supposed to roll now?

>>5627960
Nope, sorry I was just needlessly exclaiming the amount of d6s you have

>>5627900
>>A way up to nice homes! (Dodge and then climb the leg when it is low enough)

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>5627960
>>5628047
Right, one of you give me a 32d6 roll

Rolled 1, 4, 1, 2, 5, 6, 6, 2, 2, 4, 3, 6, 1, 2, 5, 4, 6, 5, 5, 4, 5, 2, 4, 6, 5 = 96 (25d6)

>>5628056

Rolled 2, 1, 3, 4, 1, 3, 3 = 17 (7d6)

>>5628058
Oh i forgot the dicebot doesn't like more than 25

>>5628058
>>5628059
Huh, guess I'll split the rolls into chunks in the future.

>>5628067
It creates an opportunity for more interaction as well.
Btw what is your update schedule going to be like? I'll be going into the woods overnight and won't have service until thursdat evening but I'll lurk if i can

>>5628070
I'll push out one more update(the one connected to these rolls) tonight and then I'll update in the morning, like post 8:00 am GMT. I'll likely go for a few small updates throughout the day since this kind of stuff is easier for me to write.

Rolled 315 (1d777)

>>5627960
>>5628047
>>5628058
>>5628059
>Five goblins KO'd only 27 goblins available next roll!

The goblin band bursts into activity. For the goblins, this means milling about wildly while still under the descending shadow of the tortoise foot. Fortunately for the goblins, the foot moves slowly. Two goblins manage in the panic to collide head first into each other, producing a truly melodic thunk of two seemingly hollow objects striking each other.

An empathic goblin attempts to lift the two fallen gobs up to safety. The attempt ends with him falling on top of another goblin, knocking him and this other goblin out. A fifth goblin blacks out from laughing too hard at the sight of this.

Sniggering, the remaining goblins drag their companions out of the shadow of the foot. It takes a surprising amount of time, on account of the size of the appendage. Still they manage it and the goblin band sits on the rusty coloured grass, picking their noses and ears, scratching bums and the like, the usual assortment of unpleasant actions goblins take when forced to wait for something.

"Bored" "Waiting!" "Slow" "Hurry, hurry" "Soon, soon" "Come foot!" "All hail foot!" "Hehe foot!" "No fins..."

A small shake happens as the foot finally lands and the tortoise steadies its footing.

"Climb, climb" "Up, up we go" "Me first" "Huff, gotta carry loser gobs" "Heave ho!" "Nice homes above" "Woowoo!"

The fallen goblins are lashed to gob-backs and the band begin to climb up the leg. It isn't easy going, as it is the equivalent of climbing up a mountain, but the bumpy craggy scales of the tortoise make for good hand and foot holds. In spite of being physically somewhat weak, goblins aren't the worst climbers. Part of it is simply due to their recklessness of course.

On their climb, the band come across a crag deep like a cave, and within that lights glimmer. Like moths, the goblins are drawn towards the lights. To their surprise, they encounter buildings carved into the scale. A green mossy head pokes out from a window. Attached to the head is a bony cone-like beak. A few fronds with golden eyeballs nested in lumps at the end hang below the head.

The fronds twitch at the sight of the goblins, and a tinny voice echoes forth from the beak, accompanied by clatters from its beak.

"I've only seen them in picture books, but goblins, here? Oh dear, oh my. What will we do?"

"Bird?" "Plant?" "Tasty?" "Hurry?" "Salad?" "Three eyeballs!" "How many three?" "Shiny balls!" "Only one three-eyes?" "Can fly?" "No swim" "No fins" "Shut up abouts fins" "Make Gob!" "Singing bird?"

The goblins had no way of knowing this, but the clabtoss are flightless, they only have one gnarly leg of brown scales with a wickedly taloned foot. Their body is a bulbous affair, and their arms are little more than flaps. Their hands are quite large and are clawed. The poor things apart from looking odd don't have any special powers.
1/2

>>5628137

What will the goblin band do?
>Vittles! (Raid the houses for food)
>Shinies! (Raid the houses for treasure, well treasure in a goblin's eyes)
>Birds sing? (Pester the clabtoss to sing)
>No like weird plant! (Leave and continue the climb)
>Pranks! (Raid the houses just to cause mayhem)
>Questions! (Write in questions to ask, questions will be gobified, and thus may not end as intended)
>Gob it out! (Write in actions)

>Rolled 315 for the goblin king's mood
The goblin king isn't completely bored, he's mildly amused. Ruling over goblins you learn to love slapstick or go insane.

>>5628140
>Birds sing? (Pester the clabtoss to sing)

>>5628140
>>Birds sing? (Pester the clabtoss to sing)

>>5628140
>Pranks! (Raid the houses just to cause mayhem)

>>5628140
>Birds sing? (Pester the clabtoss to sing)

>>5628163
>>5628170
>>5628221
Give me a 21d6 roll

And...
>>5628196
A 6d6 roll

I'll put the update up tomorrow morning.

Rolled 4, 6, 6, 4, 6, 1, 4, 4, 3, 5, 5, 5, 2, 5, 4, 2, 5, 4, 6, 5, 3 = 89 (21d6)

>>5628245

Rolled 4, 6, 5, 2, 6, 4 = 27 (6d6)

>>5628245

Rolled 4, 5, 1, 6, 3, 5, 4, 2, 5, 3, 6, 1, 3, 6, 5, 6, 1, 4, 5, 6, 2 = 83 (21d6)

>>5628245
>21d6

Rolled 7, 9, 14 = 30 (3d15)

>>5628348
Opposing roll for house raiding

Rolled 500 (1d777)

>>5628163
>>5628170
>>5628221
>>5628250
>Birds sing?
>Rolled 89, one goblin KO'd

>>5628348
>Pranks!
>Rolled 27, failed to beat opposing roll, no goblins KO'd

>31 goblins available for next roll!

The clabtoss shrieked in dismay as the goblin band rushed towards him. Just as he was about to call his fellow guardsmen, the goblins began to dance and prance below the window the clabtoss was looking out from.

"Sing!" "Sing!" "Make sounds!" "Garglegooble!" "Tweet tweet!" "Birdy call!" "Bardy call" *whistling*

Had he been the sort of creature to sweat, a river would have formed. Weighing up the options, the mosskin decided that a bit of singing would be better than fighting a goblin band. A few coughs and he began.

It is worth noting three things here. The first is that clabtoss are not birds. The second is that even among birds terrible singing can be found.
The last is that the clabtoss before the goblins liked singing quite a bit.

Somewhere between rocks grinding against each other and a live rat being swallowed by a snake, that was the nature of the singing. It wasn't the worst. Just simply bad.

One goblin did faint, but that was because she got too excited and her fluttering heart gave out. The other goblins that had previously been knocked out woke to the sound.

"Nice Din" "Groovy" "Good Din" "Lovely" "All deaf, only Gob is of taste, is bad" "Tweet tweet" "Yay, yay!" "Friend bird thing!" "Bardy bard!"

With regards to song, or really the quality of things in general, most goblins can only tell the difference between extremely super bad and supremely extreme good. In any case, the goblins loved the singing and began to clap and rattle their equipment. A few even danced the goblystep.

Amid this, however, a few of the goblins got what they thought was a cunning idea! Sneak into the houses and muck about!

"Sneak sneak" "Sneaky" "Hush" "Gob hopes jars to break" "Fun, fun!" "Gobs too loud!" "Gob is first!" "Gob you!" "No push!"

Six brave and supposedly cunning goblins crawled into the houses. A moment later and the howls of goblins in pain joined the clabtoss' cacophony. Chasing and beating with broom, frying pan, rolling pin and whatever household implement that came to hand.

"Oww" "Mercy! Mercies!" "Waily!" "Hahaha!" "Mean birdies!" "Just one pot" "Hurries!"

Housewives, husbands and even little chicks (not actual birds) gathered at their doors, panting and bearing the armament of hearth and home.

Finally there was a clattering behind the singing clabtoss. Another few clabtoss poked their heads out.

"What's all this banging and why are you singing Pell?"
"Woah, Captain look at those freaks!"
Pell stopped singing.
"Thems goblins sir, they asked me to sing"
"And instead of sounding an alarm, you opened your dumb beak?"
Pell fiddled bashfully with his eye fronds.

The goblins complained a bit about the performance ending even as their six battered comrades rejoined them.

1/2

>>5628738
"Over now?" "More?" "Sad" "Tweet tweet" "Mid" "More?" "Plant sings, strange" "Plantsong" "Sing plant?"

In any case, the song ended, what now?

>Get bard (pressgang Pell into your adventure)

>More plantbird, more singing (pester the new arrivals into singing)

>After momgob sing, sleep (Fall asleep)

>Done here! (Go back to climbing outside the tortoise)

>Sploring! (Explore the clabtoss town)

>Beatings! (Beat up the new arrivals for ending the singing)

>Egg tasty, plantbird egg here (demand tasty eggs from the clabtoss)

>Revenge! (Beat up the clabtoss that chased you from their homes)

>Asking, asking! (Question write in for clabtoss)

>Gob it out (write in action)

>Rolled a cool 500 for goblin king's mood
He would have preferred good music, but the goblin king is currently quite satisfied with the adventure.

Rolled 482 (1d500)

>>5628742
>More plantbird, more singing (pester the new arrivals into singing)

>>5628742
>>More plantbird, more singing (pester the new arrivals into singing)

Rolled 2, 7, 3, 7, 8, 5, 14 = 46 (7d15)

>>5628752
>>5628832
Ok give me a 15d6 roll and a 16d6 roll and I'll get to writing after lunch

Rolled 1, 2, 4, 5, 2, 1, 2, 5, 3, 1, 4, 4, 1, 3, 3 = 41 (15d6)

>>5628839

Rolled 3, 1, 5, 6, 2, 2, 2, 1, 4, 2, 3, 5, 5, 2, 2, 3 = 48 (16d6)

>>5628840

Rolled 433 (1d777)

>>5628752
>>5628832
>>5628840
>>5628863
>More plantbird, more singing
>Rolled 89, six goblins KO'd beat opposed roll of 46
>26 goblins available for the next roll

To goblins, there's no such thing as too much of a good thing.

"More birdplants means more singing" one goblin cried out.
"Birdplants?" "Plantbirds!" "No birdplants!" "Gob like mossbeaks" "Gob stoopid" "Nuh uh!"

The clabtoss guards looked in befuddlement at the bickering goblin, and the captain was about to declare there would be no singing.

Words that would never be said as a goblin loudly clapped his hands.
"Lookie, look, they not singing!"

A shiver went down the stalks of each clabtoss as thirty one sets of goblin eyes focused on them, then the tantrum began.
"Sing!" "Sing!" "Now!"
Goblins began to tear at the ground and wail, a few threw themselves down and flailed about. Six unfortunate goblins were grabbed by their peers and slammed against the ground in the throes of the tantrum.

Swallowing could be heard from the captain's throat. Neither he or his men liked the idea of what might happen if the goblins were denied.

In times of trouble people either crumble or they squeeze out their potential. The captain began a song, a simple marching song. He marched out of the guardhouse, and his men followed. It bears repeating that clabtoss have but one leg, so a clabtoss' march was more of a dignified hop than anything else. As they marched down the town's streets, the goblins joyfully followed.

"Wait, no leave" "Stay sing!" "Moving and singing, fun!" "Funny walk"

Marching onward, the captain led them to a large tower-like building. The goblins didn't know, but this was a lift. As the goblins piled in, the captain finished talking to the operators.

"Don't ask questions, just send us up!"

He began singing again as the goblins finished getting in. There was a rumble as the lift began to move. The goblins were sufficiently engrossed in the song that they didn't really notice.

As soon as the lift shuddered to a halt, the captain and his men grabbed the operators and leaped out and away. They stopped singing of course. After several leaps they vanished into a large gatehouse. The goblin band tried to catch up, confused as to why the clabtoss had stopped singing.

Blaring trumpets called an end thier advance, and then a loud clattering as several man-sized red balls rolled out of the gatehouse. The balls stopped before the goblins and unfolded slightly, revealing that they were some kind of rotund beetlefolk.

One particularly tough looking beetlefolk came to the front.

"Halt, uh... what did they call them?"
"Goblins sir!"
"Right, halt right there goblins! Front Right Leg Upper Scale Town, cannot just let a large group like yours wander in!"

What will the goblin band do?
1/2

>>5628930
>Beetles don't sing right?(attempt to get the beetles to sing, not an easy task)

>Flee! (Attempt to return the way you came)

>Trumpets! (Beg for the trumpets to be played again)

>Beating beetles! (Fight the bugs!)

>Gobs be adventurers! (Declare yourselves to be adventurers)

>Small group! (Fight to the death among yourselves to become a smaller group)

>Asking, asking! (Question write in for beetlefolk)

>Gib bards! (Demand the return of your singing plantbirds)

>Gob it out! (write in action)

>Goblin King's mood: 433, dubs!
The Goblin King is pleased with your antics, so pleased that he tosses another goblin to join you.

>Total goblins: 33
>Current usable goblins:27

>>5628936
>Beetles don't sing right?(attempt to get the beetles to sing, not an easy task)
I know it's a bad idea, but I can't help myself.

>>5628936
>Beetles don't sing right?(attempt to get the beetles to sing, not an easy task)
>Gib bards! (Demand the return of your singing plantbirds)

Rolled 12, 4, 14, 19, 15, 16, 19, 18, 17, 6, 5, 17, 19, 8, 16 = 205 (15d20)

>>5628950
>>5628970
Right give me a 14d6 roll and a 13d6 roll.
Update later this evening.

Do note that you can only vote for one option, not two. However, different options will happen no matter how many votes they get. Votes merely determine the ratio of goblin dice each action gets

Rolled 3, 4, 6, 6, 2, 3, 5, 5, 2, 2, 1, 2, 1, 6 = 48 (14d6)

>>5629241

Rolled 2, 5, 1, 1, 5, 2, 5, 1, 5, 2, 4, 5, 4 = 42 (13d6)

>>5629241

>>5628936
>>Trumpets! (Beg for the trumpets to be played again)

Rolled 327 (1d777)

>>5629303
A bit too late, sorry

>>5628950
>>5628970
>>5629244
>>5629249
>>Beetles don't sing right?
>Rolled 90, failure! Opposing roll was 200! 5 goblins have died! Don't worry, they'll just appear back at the goblinholm. They will however be mocked for their failure!
>28 goblins available

Among the denizens of Absurdia(So named by the warlock who found this senseless realm), you have those of good humour and those of dim humour. The goblins had no way of knowing this, but the red beetlekin, the bumblin as they are known, are an exceptionally ill humoured bunch. They may drink as heavily as most dwarves, but good cheer is never found in their bars. A dwarf would go insane if he had to bear their dour company. Consequently, the two races tend to be bitter enemies. Dwarves will always end up singing as they drink. A bumblin frowns on singing even when sober. In fact, bumblin don't even get drunk. They just really like the taste of alcohol.

So, when a goblin stepped up she had no idea what would happen when she said what she said, which was...

"Beetles sing?"

Her head was grasped by a mighty chitinous claw.

"How dare you mock us! See what happens to those who make light of the proud warriors of Front Right Leg Upper Scale Town!"

The claw was clenched, a goblin died, and the body burst into golden motes that faded quickly.

"Uuoh Gob head popped!" "Like bubble!" "Like wart!" "Big flower!" "Why mad?" "Beetles no sing?"

Claw shaking with anger, the bumblin captain cried out again!

"These freaks take us for a joke, look how they snigger and giggle! Come, let us beat the seriousness into them!"

With that, the bumblin rolled into the goblins, who panicked a little at suddenly being assaulted.

One was killed by a bumblin rolling right into him.

A claw went right through the chest of one goblin.

Sorrowful was the goblin who was picked up and made into two goblin halves.

Similarly unfortunate was a goblin who was picked up and used as a blunt instrument, though that goblin was quite into the role, declaring;
"Sorry, Gob be weapon now"
In the end, his body couldn't withstand the abuse and he died.

After the initial push, the bumblins rolled back, leaving the confused goblins in their wake.

How will the Goblin Band face the Proud Bumblin Warriors?
1/2

>>5629312
>(Note, there is a risk of wipeout here, but worry not, the Goblin King will just send more goblins on an adventure, just not to this place)

>Beatings! (fight the bumblins)

>Surrender!

>Flee!

>Sing!

>Rollie poly? (Attempt to ride atop the bumblins)

>Gob grabbing! (Sacrifice a few goblins to hold the bumblins while the rest go beyond)

>Gob it out! (Write in action)

>(Do note that if multiple actions are taken, the bumblins will have split opposing rolls.)

>Goblin King's mood: 327
Satisfied, yes, normally he'd be annoyed by dead goblins respawning above his head, but he is satisfied with this.

>>5629320
>>Rollie poly? (Attempt to ride atop the bumblins)

>>5629320
>Rollie poly? (Attempt to ride atop the bumblins)

>>5629320
>Sing!

>>5629312
>>5629320
>Beatings! (fight the bumblins)

Rolled 3, 13, 20, 18, 12, 16, 1, 14, 8, 8 = 113 (10d20)

>>5629327
>>5629380
Can I get a 14d6 roll

>>5629381
A 7d6 roll

>>5629665
And another 7d6 roll

The result of the bumblins' roll will be divided in four parts.

Rolled 4, 3, 5, 5, 4, 2, 1, 4, 6, 4, 3, 1, 6, 2 = 50 (14d6)

>>5629804

captcha PNSPP

Rolled 3, 4, 5, 1, 5, 5, 3 = 26 (7d6)

>>5629804

Rolled 1, 4, 6, 6, 1, 2, 5 = 25 (7d6)

>>5629804

Rolled 632 (1d777)

>>5629327
>>5629380
>>5629381
>>5629665
>>5629838
>>5629925
>>5630060
>Bumblins rolled 113, split four ways, rounded down, DC is 28!
>Riding goblins rolled 50 success!
>Singing goblins rolled 26, failure!
>Fighting goblins rolled 26 failure!
>Three goblins died!
>Two goblins incapacitated!
>Total goblins: 25
>Goblins available for next roll: 23

Honestly, the bumblins were taking the goblins lightly. It could be understood, after all even places that had to regularly deal with goblins were guilty of this. Goblins are weak. The ones with fowl in their makeup even have hollow bones! A goblin is the sort of creature when left to its own devices is likely to accidentally kill itself.

Fighting the goblins was no problem. Bumblins are natural warriors, their whole body is a weapon. They waded through the goblins, striking down two of their number. It was easy.

It was so easy that they didn't even notice that not all the goblins were fighting. As they fought, goblins clinged to their backs. If that had been it, perhaps the goblins would have been discovered.

Sadly for the bumblins, some of the goblins decided that since the beetles would not sing, they'd do the job.

Goblin song is a horror to the ears, and the bumblins don't even like good singing. So when the goblin choir began to sing several different nonsense screeching ballads all at once, the bumblins were infuriated, they shouted loudly to drown out the songs and pummelled the singers. One particularly bad singer was even squished to paste beneath a pile of angry bumblins.

However, more goblins climbed atop the bumblins as they blindly rampaged. These goblins began to push and pull. Finally, a bumblin couldn't keep his footing and his legs folded, the goblins atop ran and the bumblin span wildly. The other goblins got the trick and soon were rolling the bumblins around.

"Rollie-poly!" "Zoom zoom" "Weee" "Gob rode big beetles back home." "Dizzy" "Go, go!"

"W-what are you all doing, how can you let these freaks do as they please, stand up, warriors of Right Leg Upper Scale Town!"

"C-captain, they're on your back too!"

"Gah! Gettem off me, gettem off, I'm a proud warrior, I won't fall to some gobbugh!"

"AHH... He's rolling, they got him, they got the captain!"

"Noo, captain!"

Soon, not one bumblin warrior was left standing, and the goblins were getting better at steering them. Well, better for goblins that is.

What will the goblin band do with their new mostly uncontrolled steeds?

>Crashbash! (Play bumper cars basically)

>Raid legtown!

>Ride into legtown!

>Demands Gob! (Write in demands for the bumblins)

>Faster, faster (make the bumblins go faster)

>Bowling (using some other goblins as pins, play bowling with the bumblins)

>Gob it out! (Write in action)

>>5630089
>Goblin King's mood: 632
He was really expecting the bumblins to wipe the goblins out, he is quite entertained, and glad the adventure isn't over yet.

>>5630089
>>Crashbash! (Play bumper cars basically)
This is great!

>>5630089
>Demands Gob! (Write in demands for the bumblins)
>Sing!

>>5630089
>Faster, faster (make the bumblins go faster)
Gotta go fast!

Rolled 13, 12, 16, 8, 16, 14, 4 = 83 (7d20)

>>5630132
>>5630155
>>5630350
Three separate 7d6 rolls please. Two goblins are confused.

Rolled 1, 6, 6, 3, 1, 1, 6 = 24 (7d6)

>>5630876

Rolled 1, 2, 6, 5, 1, 4, 2 = 21 (7d6)

>>5630876

Rolled 5, 6, 1, 1, 6, 2, 2 = 23 (7d6)

>>5630876

>>5630899
>>5631056
>>5631057
Oh my, lots of dead gobbos, I guess you can have too much fun. Writing.

Rolled 174 (1d777)

>>5630132
>>5630155
>>5630350
>>5630899
>>5631056
>>5631057
>Bumblins rolled 83 split three ways rounded down, DC is 27
>Crashing goblins rolled 24, failure! 3 deaths!
>Song demanding goblins rolled 21, failure! 2 deaths!
>Speedfeaks rolled 23, failure! 2 deaths!
>Total Goblin Deaths: 8
>Total Goblins: 17
>Does a new adventure await? the band grows smaller!


Honestly the goblins were taking the bumblins lightly. It could be understood, after all a goblin's fear towards pain and death are greatly diminished. Still, the bumblins hadn't quite gotten over their shock at being bested by the goblins. In a short while, they'd regain their senses and toss off the goblins on their backs.

Not that the goblins would care even if they knew.

"Faster, faster!" "Zoom, zoom!" "Watch this!"
A few goblin steered their bumblin on a collision course with another, shrieking with excitement. The goblins they were colliding with didn't like the idea much.

"No, ruining fun!" "Gob wanted riding more!" "Go way!"

Not one moment afforded them enough time to escape and a loud *thock* and crunch sounded out as bumblins clashed. The crunch was from one goblin falling between the speeding bumblins, she didn't stand a chance, but laughed as her temporary end came. The rest of the goblins were flung off wildly by the impact. All laughing as they flew through the air, even the ones that hadn't been eager about colliding. One flapped ragged little wings(far too small and wretched for actual flight) that grew from his hips.

"Gob flying!" "Weee!" "Ah, wind!" "Ah ground!"

One goblin hit the ground with his head, and the ground was naturally stronger. Another flew under a spinning bumblin and briefly became goblin paste, this sent the bumblin and its goblins crashing into another bumblin, casting goblins every which way into the air.

"New game!" "New fun!" "Play, play!" "Gob team be last standing" "Gob taking gob down!"

Of course, having discovered such fun, most of the goblins couldn't resist, but this activity... it was leaving dazed riderless bumblins in its wake.

A few goblins however weren't interested in this at all. No one thing had gripped their souls.

Speed!

Faster and faster, these goblins spoke not a word, intent on chasing faster speeds. The goblins 'rode' the bumblins by running on top of the spinning shells, however by pursuing speed above all, these speedfreaks would be undone by speed. The spinning bumblins grew faster and faster, 'till the goblins couldn't keep running on top. They fell on the bumblins and were sucked under. Two goblins did not survive the experience, dashed into pieces.

In short order, the ground was littered with exhausted goblins and dizzy bumblins, as if a deadly battle had been fought, though not one bumblin was dead. One goblin gaggle was quicker to recover than the others, they surrounded a slightly larger bumblin. It was the captain!
1/?

>>5631178
He was currently groaning, the physical goblins on his back were gone, but the metaphorical goblins were still rampaging about his head.

"Beetleman!" "Bugman" "You, you!" "Question!" "Sing now?" "Sing please?"

"Nooooooo!"

A girlish shriek escaped past the captain's mandibles, and he grabbed the closest goblin, tossing her with all his strength at the rest of the goblins. They scattered but one goblin was right in the path of the tossed goblin. A brief union of goblins and then there were two less goblins. The captain was now fully alert!

"Guards! Retreat!"

The bumblin guardsmen unsteadily separated themselves from the goblins.

"These goblins are crazy! Behold I call upon favours owed, by this token, I summon thee!"

The captain had dug out a figure of a small man made of red crystal. It shone as he spoke and cracked and vanished into dust as he finished.

Nothing happened.

The air between the goblins and bumblins shuddered. Like peeling an orange, a figure was revealed. The peel of existence sank back in place behind it.

At first glance, it was a humanoid figure wearing a robe of red mirrors, vermilion threads lined with shards of bone. Tufts of purple grass grew from the robe. A strange an rich looking piece, with deep and wide sleeves and a flared collar that had seven gems the colours of the rainbow set in it.

Odd as it was, the robe was not the real problem, it distracted from the unnaturalness of its wearer. It only looked humanoid. Whatever this being had once been, race, sex all had been sacrificed on the altar of power and knowledge.

Looked at one way, it was a silhouette, a series of flat lines forming a three dimensional being, looked at another and it was crawling creatures one could not describe. Turn your head again, and what filled the robe was reflections of the surroundings.

There was one constant.

A single crimson gem, carved like an eye, an eye itself at once hard like a gem, at once soft and wet like a real eye.

"You call me, the Magnificent Yadh Obursquare, to deal with goblins? After all the sacrifices your petty town magi made..."

The bumblins trembled under its cyclopean gaze. Then a rather normal sounding sigh came from Yadh.

"Whatever, to so easily fulfill a favour to this meager town is cause for joy"

Slowly the eye turned even as Yadh's back was turned to the goblins. The gaze locked on.

"I was needing more materials for experiments anyway"

This was no mere mage. No lesser magician, but a monster of magic. Many view these beings as worse than liches. A lich merely casts aside life and flesh, but these creatures cast aside all the marks of their birth. The denizens of Absurdia call them magi-horrors, but they have another name for themselves.

True Mages.

Such a being is before the remains of the goblin band.

2/3

>>5631180
>Experiment fun? (Just wait to get captured and experimented on)

>Flee!

>Magic sing? (Even should it agree to sing, can the song of that being be anything good?)

>Bad feeling, gob out! (Commit suicide to escape)

>Goblin magic! (All their power is in the Goblin King, but goblins can technically cast magic...)

>Gob Demand (Ask Yadh something, write in)

>Gob it out! (Write in action)


>Goblin King's Mood: 174
Just when things were getting good, a mage might spoil all the fun. He might watch a little bit of the goblins being experimented on, but just watching captive goblins would be no fun at all

>>5631187
>Goblin magic! (All their power is in the Goblin King, but goblins can technically cast magic...)

>>5631187
>Gob Demand (Ask Yadh something, write in)
Can red mirror man make gobbos sing good?

>>5631187
>>Magic sing? (Even should it agree to sing, can the song of that being be anything good?)
Singing has been good so far

>>5631187
>Goblin magic! (All their power is in the Goblin King, but goblins can technically cast magic...)

>>5631189
>>5631311
Roll 9d6

>>5631190
Roll 4d6

>>5631204
Roll 4d6

Surprise! The magi-horror is so beyond your might that your band of goblins undergo a test of fate. Success doesn't quite mean victory, but failure will end this band's path.

In a Test of Fate, goblins who roll a 2 are also counted as dead. Success or failure, goblins will die!

Finally, instead of an opposed roll, the goblins must beat the rough average of their possible rolls.

For example, 9d6 must beat 31 for a success.

There are also minor and major tests of fate, but we'll get to that when it happens.

Rolled 5, 2, 1, 1 = 9 (4d6)

>>5631330
Sing, teach us good sing yes yes!

Rolled 6, 5, 2, 3, 4, 6, 6, 2, 5 = 39 (9d6)

>>5631330

Rolled 4, 1, 3, 1 = 9 (4d6)

>>5631330

>>5631332
>>5631333
>>5631403
Gob, die, gob again! Writing.

>>5631330

>>5631562
It didn't like my roll but that's fine since someone rolled already

Rolled 396 (1d777)

>>5631189
>>5631190
>>5631204
>>5631311
>>5631332
>>5631333
>>5631403
>Trial of Fate: Crimson Magnificent Yadh Obursquare!
>Goblin Magic! : Rolled 39, beat the average! 2 goblins died! A fateful choice revealed!
>Mirror man make gob sing? : Rolled 9, failure! 3 goblins died, a fate worse than death awaits...
>Magic Sing? : Rolled 9, failure! 2 goblins died, a fate worse than death awaits...
>Total Goblin Death: 7
>Total Goblins: 7

Magi-horror don't have to be cruel and twisted beings. Mages in general don't have to be, but even if the results are of questionable worth, cruelty gets quick results, in studies of magic or anything really. Couple that with how people can grow to love what they do daily, a lot of mages never mind magi-horrors get lost in the process and forget the whole result thing.

Chimera weren't made to be guardians for example. Mashing different animals together to make a monster is just the sort of nonsense mages that lack morality get up to. There was never a point, just a manic joy of the process of ludicrous experiments.

Goblins are really beyond such understandings. The horror of the inhuman will only reach them when it actually happens.

A number of them crowded around Yadh.

"Magicman sing?" "Make gob sing good?" "Well song?" "Lala!" "Singing Yay!" "Sing sing!"

The goblins pranced around Yadh, repeating their nonsense chatter.

A few goblins were of a slightly different make up, instinctually they performed a desperate action. They tried to cast magic. Squeezing out their potential, they clawed at the mana without and within. By accident, they worked together, weaving one of the most basic of goblin magicks.

Two of their number withered and died becoming fuel for the spell, and finally amid the other chattering goblins, they cast it as one, a goblin flame!

It was the size of a fingernail, and it flickered as if it would vanish any moment. Slowly, with jerking movements it floated over to Yadh. The goblins were too tired to cheer, and the other were too busy cajoling Yadh to sing or make it sing.

The magi-horror watched the flame with interest, taking out a rusty long spouted oil lamp as it reached itself. The goblin flame was caught on the end of the spout and there it remained.

Even the clamouring goblins went silent.

"I had almost forgotten goblins have magic of their own, even under a goblin king. I've thought of a more interesting experiment"

Yadh let go of the lamp, but it remained in the air, and the flame, it grew. It folded into solid chains wrapping around the goblins that cast the flame. They cried out, but went silent and still, bound by flame that did not harm them.

One task done, Yadh's eye focused on the goblins that had pestered it. These goblins began to tremble, as even they began to realise something was amiss.

"You wanted to sing better, and for me to sing. Why not. A little singing never hurt anyone, and magic unused grows rusty"

1/?

>>5631641
The bumblins had fled the moment the goblins had first pestered the magi-horror.

Yadh's eye shone brighter and began to tremble as a beautiful wordless song echoed outward, at first, the goblins were enraptured.

Then everything was dyed red.

Song was tasted, seen. Song was pain, torment. Goblin wails formed a natural chorus. They wailed even as they liquified, even as they blended with one girl goblin who had wanted more than the others to sing beautifully. Yadh had glimpsed her heart. Yadh would grant her wish.

Two goblins were left alive, after all, what was a singer without an audience? But their forms melted, they became pillars covered in goblin ears. They only needed to listen, and listen well.

As for the singer, she was remodeled, a statue of red, a lovely young woman with hints of bird and beast, like a goblin might be if she were a queen. Her mouth was open, and song flowed out it. She could not move. She didn't need to move, she needed only to sing.

The bound goblins heard not a thing, the flame chain, preserving them. Their eyes were full of mute horror, but not quite for what one might have thought. The only thing that really horrified them was being bound. Goblins fear imprisonment and stasis above all, since when that happens, there's no more fun to be had.

Song still soared from the singer goblin, but Yadh stopped working its foul magic.

A gentle chuckle came from the monster, and what passed for a hand gripped the lamp. The remaining seven goblins, chains and all were sucked into the lamp, then Yadh faded bit by bit, starting from the bottom until only the eye remained, gazing at Right Leg Upper Scale Town.

When the goblins next gained awareness, they were in a red brick room circular in nature with no windows and no doors. Red light was cast down from deep darkness far above them.

There was a tall red mirror in the room. A dark red table with a purple tablecloth dominated the room. There were piles of strange black cakes, muffins, sweets and pastries of all kinds on golden plates. Eight chairs lined the table.

There were only three other things of note;
An ominous fleshy book.
A rack of twitching brooms, wands and staves

Sitting on the eighth chair at the head of the table was an absurdly muscled purple skinned man. All he wore was a pair of legless golden briefs held in place with a belt that was a living yellow snake. His head was a comically small rusted lamp.

"My master bid me teach you seven magic, a foolish endeavour."

It can hardly be called a goblin band now, but what will they do?
2/3

>>5631645
>Cake, eat!

>Picture book?

>Funny sticks! (Mess with the wands etc)

>Gob sad (moment of silence for the fallen, one second should do it)

>Break mirror!

>Break everything!

>Mirror, mirror who is the gobbest of them all?

>Food fight!

>Eat table

>Eat book

>Gob demand! (Write in question for the jinn)

>Gob it out! (Write in action)

>It hasn't come up before, but you cannot take more actions than you have goblins (We're unlikely to reach that even with only seven gobbos)
>Next rolls will be minor trial of fate, you still have to beat the average, but deaths will only be on failure and only 1s

>Goblin King's Mood: 396
He is fairly ambivalent about this development, but what is this feeling...

Fateful Choice!
>The King mercy kills the three transformed goblins (the king becomes kinder, will kill goblins that experience a fate worse than death)
>The king kills all remaining goblins (King becomes a softy, will kill your band when it looks like a grim fate awaits)
>The king supposes his boar supper disagreed with him (the king becomes heartless, caring not for what fate befalls the goblins)

>>5631657
>Gob sad (moment of silence for the fallen, one second should do it)
>The King mercy kills the three transformed goblins (the king becomes kinder, will kill goblins that experience a fate worse than death)

>>5631657
>>Funny sticks! (Mess with the wands etc)
>>The King mercy kills the three transformed goblins (the king becomes kinder, will kill goblins that experience a fate worse than death)
But maybe he'll try to take the singing goblin as his queen? That would certainly help with his boredom. After making it so she can move and stop singing when she chooses to, of course.

>>5631657
>Funny sticks! (Mess with the wands etc)
>The King mercy kills the three transformed goblins (the king becomes kinder, will kill goblins that experience a fate worse than death)

>>5631657
>Gob sad (moment of silence for the fallen, one second should do it)
>The King mercy kills the three transformed goblins (the king becomes kinder, will kill goblins that experience a fate worse than death)

>>5631660
>>5631827
Roll 3d6

>>5631758
>>5631758
Roll 3d6

One goblin is confused!

Rolled 4, 6, 3 = 13 (3d6)

>>5632182

Rolled 3, 5, 1 = 9 (3d6)

>>5632182
Rolling the other 3d6

>>5632263
>>5632277
Well, nobody died an elfin death of broken heart, but messing with sticks won't go so well.

Writing now, but may get interrupted by family events.

Rolled 21 (1d777)

>>5631824
>>5631827
>>5632263
>>5632277
>Minor Trial of Fate: Magic Training!
>Gob Sad! : Rolled 13, beat the average!
>Funny sticks! : Rolled 9, failure! 1 goblin died!
>Total Goblin Death: 1
>Total Goblins : 6

Between Right Leg Upper Scale Town and the lift to Right Leg Lower Scale Village, a goblin statue sang endlessly and two flesh pillars covered in ears listened.

A sigh left the lips of the goblin king.
"Even if they are dumb, often annoying, always ugly... all the goblins are mine. I alone have right to punish them. You offered your all to me, growing my power bit by bit. Return. Come home."

The goblins transformed by Yadh shuddered, and began to break into golden motes that faded away like all sorrows and delights do, but as they vanished, the form of goblins could be seen.

Usually a spell would fling the respawned goblins away from his head, but when all the goblins appeared, the king gathered them all in his arms, paying no heed to the snot and tears they let out as they cried. He stroked their backs and sang a wordless lullaby he heard on the west wind once, sending them and all other goblins asleep.

He knew that when they woke, the horror would be a dim memory. Only knowing they were like this, could he enjoy their fun and suffering alike.

"You'll never feel this dreadful boredom, it is enough that I suffer it. Ah, what joy I felt to ascend above my brethren, not knowing the cost. Still, I shall amuse myself."

He stared at the slumbering goblins him.

"When my mind can take no longer, I can always make another goblin into a royal, and return to senseless bliss, but my greed for power and clear thoughts remain, so you shall dance for me my goblins, but I will never abandon you..."

He closed his eyes and saw them once more, the seven remaining goblins, how longer would they unknowingly dance for him?

"Already the bond grows weak..." He mutters.


Most that learn magic never progress beyond mere cantrips, and the most common death for apprentices is magical mishap, either pure accident or messing with things beyond their control. The seven remaining goblins were not even apprentices.

Now, it wasn't relevant before, but goblins actually have names, though it is rare for a name to be remembered. It isn't strange for a goblin to get a new name each day, forgetting the previous ones. As for our seven remaining goblins, they were called thusly; Sickly, Cheery, Bold, Lively, Sad, Quiet, Alert.

Sickly always had nasty gunk seeping from his nose, there was always some affliction or another tormenting his mostly ratty green skinned body. While most goblins have a bald head, his was flaky and covered with sores, this more than anything got him his name, as normally a goblin's head is quite smooth, only rarely having a tuft of hair or feathers. He was most proud of his large rat tail.

1/?

>>5632436
Cheery was in an even better mood than most goblins. Her face had gotten stuck in a toothy smile at one point, now all could see her uneven crooked fangs. Although her body was covered in patchy brown fur, she had no tail and her yellowy skin showed now and again. She was most proud of the strange ruff of grey feathers around her neck.

Bold was big for a goblin, and most of his body was carapace, even his limbs, some grey fur formed ugly lumps poking out from his chitinous hide. Yellow was his skin. He was most proud of a plume of red hair that went straight up from his baldy head.

Lively was a goblin that could stay still even less than his brethren, he would vibrate if left in one place for too long. His small antenna were always twitching. His lower body was like a rabbit's and the fur was brown. One arm was like a bug limb. Half his extremely thin body was dotted with feathers. He was most proud of his right arm, utterly plain and not even covered in warts!

Sad was always hanging around Cheery. She had grey skin, and big drooping antenna. One of her legs was like a cockroach's, one like a pigeon. One ratty arm, one scaly arm. Her body was hairy like a fly. She was most proud of the tiny clear insect wings on the back of her neck.

Quiet actually had a head of ragged black hair that covered her face, only a red-skinned nose and ears could be seen poking out. She was most proud of the large leathery wing she hid her body with. Other goblins usually only saw the tips of her insect legs. Not one sound ever came from her. Sometimes, other goblins would forget she was around.

Alert was a green skinned potbellied goblin whose eyes were always bright. His chest was bare, but his arms were covered in grey fuzzy fur, ending in paws that ever itched to fiddle and steal. One of his legs was bird like, the other was big like. He had a big mangy black and grey ringed fuzzy tail behind him that he stored junk in, making it even filthier. What he was most proud of was that he had a tiny pair of ragged bird wings for eyebrows.

"Gob only ones left" Sad wept
"They be back home already" Cheery attempted to comfort Sad.
"No, bad happen, worse than timeout!" Sickly coughed.

The three goblins were silent for moment, in vigil for the goblins they didn't know had already been released from torment.

It was hard to tell, but Quiet was watching them, but her head would turn to the other three goblins from time to time. What was she thinking?

"Sneak, sneak" whispered Alert, glancing at the jinn even as he grabbed a shivering staff.
"Weird stick move! Haha!" Lively laughed, bagging a broom.
"Gob's now!" Shouted Bold as he won a wand.

Bold shook the wand about, it was wood, but it twitched like a living insect. Nothing happened as he cut the air with it, swishing it back and forth while making silly sounds.

Then he pointed it at his face.

2/?

>>5632439
Before we go into the inevitable, let us speak of another odd trait of goblins. Between goblins and goblin royals, there is a third form. Goblin nobles. They aren't as beautiful as royals or as powerful, but they can be quite cute at least. As for how they come to be, when a small number of goblins are separated from their king for long enough they become nobles, with nine goblins, this takes quite a bit of time, with one goblin it is fastest, but... one goblin tends not to live long on its own.

Once a goblin is a noble, it loses its connection to the royal. They become mortal, death from violence, sickness and age claim them once more. When nobles gather goblins, they can become a royal. They also become a royal if other nobles submit to them and become regular goblins.

Now back to Bold the Goblin, not yet a noble. He was however already a bit more magical than a regular goblin. Mana from him had been sucked up the the wand as soon as he picked it up.

Of course, the wand discharged right as he pointed it at his own head. A burst of purple light and a smoking headless goblin fell down before dispersing into golden motes. Alert and Lively tossed the broom and staff away as if they were serpent.

"No! Bold, gob's head blew!" Alert cried out.
"Gobbed! Bold Gobbed!" Lively shrieked.

Quiet's ears twitched with excitement. The mourning trio, Sickly, Cheery and Sad wept a bit more.

"At least gob is home" Cheery tried to cheer up.

A tired huff came from the Jinn, taking the form of smoky butterflies that flew away into the darkness of the ceiling.

"Perhaps you'll receive my instructions?"

>The Jinn offers a few courses!
>An easy course with few gains
>A fair course with fair gains
>A difficult course with many gains
>A murderous course that will result in magic apprentices, well, those that survive.

>Alternatively, ignore the jinn!
>Eat (write in object)
>Mirror, mirror show gob future! (Mess with mirror)
>Danger sticks! (Mess with them again)
>Gob Demand! (Write in Question for the Jinn)
>Gob it out! (Write in action)

>Additionally roll 6d6 for time until noble ascendancy, lower is better.

>Goblin King's Mood: 21! Black Mood!
Far too somber and introspective, his thoughts rattle in his skull and the past weighs heavily. How tiring. The Goblin King is Bored! (Two black moods in a row will result in the king wiping out the remaining goblins and starting over in a random location!)

Rolled 6, 2, 5, 1, 5, 1 = 20 (6d6)

>>5632445
>A murderous course that will result in magic apprentices, well, those that survive.

Rolled 5, 4, 4, 6, 6, 6 = 31 (6d6)

>>5632445
>>A murderous course that will result in magic apprentices, well, those that survive.

Rolled 4, 1, 6, 1, 2, 5 = 19 (6d6)

>>5632445
>Eat (write in object)
>Magic Sticks!

Rolled 3, 4, 1, 5, 2, 2 = 17 (6d6)

>>5632445
>A murderous course that will result in magic apprentices, well, those that survive.

>>5632446
>>5632450
>>5632552
>>5632533
Locked in. However, since this is a true mutual exclusive choice we have ourselves a goblin fight! The ratio is 3:1.

Roll 5d6 (didn't divide clean, so larger group gets the extra goblin)

Vs

A roll of 1d6

Roll me an additional 1d6 for which goblin is the filthy dissenter,
Quiet: 1
Alert: 2
Cheery:3
Sad:4
Lively:5
Sickly:6

Do you want the goblin fight written? It'll just be squabbling and a fistfight, but if the lone goblin actually wins, that'd be a 1v5 knockout.

Rolled 5, 4, 5, 3, 4 = 21 (5d6)

>>5632594

Rolled 1, 1, 1, 4, 6 = 13 (5d6)

>>5632594
I would like to see the gob shenanigans

Rolled 3 (1d6)

>>5632594
>>5632601
My roll was too slow, so here's a 1d6 instead

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>5632600
One win case and one draw case for our lone goblin, but neither happened.

>>5632604
Put up a fight at least.


I'll just roll for the particular goblin who dared to be a voice of (mad)reason.>>5632600

>>5632600
>>5632604
>>5632617
"Quick, magic now!" Lively shouted.
"Teaching!" Cheery cheered
"More magic best" Alert decided.
"Magic snot away?" Sniffled Sickly.
Quiet didn't speak, but silently hopped up and down with eagerness.

"Ehh, gob wanted to eat magic sticks" Sad complained.

Five sets of eyes turned to Sad, and the jinn palmed his lamp of a face.

"What? Magic tasty right?" Sad reasoned.

"You get gobbed!" Alert warned.
"But, learn magic, make magic sticks to eat!" Cheery cajoled.
Quiet extended a fist from behind her wing, directly threatening Sad.
"Gob ate magic once, get magic sick, tummy hort for long time" Sickly remembered.
"Loser gob wants loser things, already played with sticks!" Lively mocked.

Sad's face scrunched up like a fruit being squeezed for its juices, big watery tears forming in her eyes.

"Nooo, wanna eat sticks!" Sad wailed.

The jinn was covering his lamp with both hands, but it was not by physical sight he could see, nor physical hearing he heard, and by his master's orders, he had to watch the goblins. What foul torture.

Five leapt upon one, and a fierce lynching began, fur, feathers, hair and even a few teeth flew. Wails and screams, Sad's desire for sticks was so strong she managed to put up a fight for a while, biting and pulling and pushing.

Water began to leak of the jinn's lamp, the tears of a mighty spirit.

"I had my own kingdom, a varied harem to fit all my tastes, and this is what I am reduced to, damn you Yadh, I had already decided to ruin you once I get my freedom, but when I get free, a year of torment by goblins will be added to the punishments I will enact!" He ranted.

The fight ended, and five dragged one to the jinn.

"Training!" They chanted.
Secretly, the jinn decided to make the instruction extra murderous.

>Roll 6d6, the Moment of Fate is upon the goblins! Anything less than 6 means death! Success, and the Goblin King, will smile at the birds leaving the nest, the ascension of goblin nobles!

Rolled 3, 5 = 8 (2d6)

>>5632661
Rolling less dice so other anons can try too

Rolled 1, 6 = 7 (2d6)

>>5632661
I don't want to roll and condem all the Gobbos to death with my shit luck, so I'll just roll for two. Goblin evolution is at hand! (Maybe)

>>5632664
>>5632666

Good idea wish I had thought of it, thus far one goblin has succeeded!

I'll give another choice in honour of the good idea.

>QM rolls for which goblin belongs to which roll.
>QM pick thematically appropriate goblins to live
>Players roll to determine who is what roll
>Players vote who lives and dies in a display of blatant favouritism.

Rolled 2, 5, 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 6, 1, 1, 3, 6 = 35 (12d6)

>>5632661
It's time!

Rolled 2, 5 = 7 (2d6)

>>5632677
dammit, wrong dice

>>5632671
>QM rolls for which goblin belongs to which roll.
>Players vote who lives and dies in a display of blatant favouritism.
Either one

>>5632677
That's a bit of a spill anon, but the first two rolls are quite useable.

And then, there was one.

A lonely noble.

>>5632678
But the future refused to change.

Now, vote for how the last gobbo standing is determined!

>>5632682
Hah, I just realized they're both 7.

>>5632671
>QM pick thematically appropriate goblins to live
This one is fine by me.

>>5632679
>>5632687
Such is the price of offering more choices, can a kind anon break this tie?

If you vote for;
>Players vote who lives and dies in a display of blatant favouritism.

Vote for your gobbo at the same time.

>>5632691
I'll would vote for Cheery

>>5632682
Quiet!

>>5632697
>>5632702
Players voting has won, but now we need goblin votes.

I will stay awake to write the update when we have the survivor locked in

>>5632725
It would be fairly ironic if Sickly survived the harsh trials of the Djinn, so I'll vote for him.
>Sickly

>>5632697
>>5632702
>>5632729
You guys are killing me, do you want me to roll between these three or do you want to argue it out ala best girl internet fights?

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>5632737
1: Cheery
2: Quiet
3: Sickly

The will of fate shall decide who becomes powerful.

>>5632739
Are you guys,
>>5632697
>>5632702
On board with the will of the dice?

>>5632746
Yeah I'm fine with letting the dice decide an even split.

>>5632752
With at least two in favour, unlimited voting hell has ended and I'll never let it happen again.

As a bonus(while I go get a snack before writing), which may or may not involve a reward, guess which goblin I would have picked!

>>5632756
Sickly I bet.

>>5632746
The dice is the great mediator
>>5632756
Bold?

>>5632756
You'd probably pick the one Gobbo who wanted to eat the magic sticks rather than become magic, the Sad Gobbo.

>>5632664
>>5632666
>>5632677
>>5632739
Sitting insolently before the goblins, the jinn took out a gem-studded nail file and set about tending his nails as he explained a few things.

"My master has bid me teach you magic, I the great Zazanova Lovewish, can only obey! What he wishes, is an experiment of chained casters raised from scratch from goblins. But you, my little warts, you got lost after my introduction didn't you?"

The goblins nodded frantically.

A sigh, and the nail file vanished.

"It's probably for the best that you wished for the quickest method with the greatest results. Ah, what can I do but grant you uglies that wish. You won't understand, but basically I'm doing the magical equivalent of drowning you. Learn to swim or die"

With that, Zazanova clapped his hands and the goblins vanished.

"Yadh would not have picked this, it goes against the idea of his experiment, but my he really left too many loopholes in this matter, underestimating me just cause they are goblins, now... how lucky will I be?" Zazanova muttered.

>The fate of Sickly
He coughed as he appeared in what looked like the grandest treasure hoard of the mightiest dragon, a sea of coins and gems, statues and countless artifacts. Sickly could not appreciate this, not even the waterfalls of gold and silver. Mana filled his body and found no release, and each cough was joined by retching up treasure. In a few moments, he burst into treasure, dying. Like all goblins before him, he re-appeared no worse for wear above the goblin king.

>The fate of Sad
Everything was red. Sad stood atop a red hill covered in red plump red wheat, gazing at a full red moon. She grew fatter and fatter as mana filled her body. Like an obese man, or perhaps a pregnant woman. Her form engorged, she began to crack, spouts of solid red mana spurting out of her. She too turned into golden motes.

>The fate of Alert
A grand yellow sun filled the sky, singing as it shone. Below were yellow instruments of all kinds. They played themselves, completely in tune with the sun. All Alert felt was pain. He was not in tune. Discordant, he didn't even fill with mana. He was ripped apart, the golden motes however... they were above the harmony.

>The fate of Lively
There were two Livelys, they stood in an unending boneyard filled with countless beings, but had one paid attention, one would see that all the bones had an identical pair. The bones were clustered around white flames, as if seeking warmth. The Livelys filled with mana and burst into white flame, when the golden motes faded, only one goblin went home, but which Lively lived, and which left its bones to rest by the flames?

>The fate of Quiet
She appeared in a ruined castle of black surrounded by ruined castles of black, even the sky was made of such, she said not a word as her body filled with mana, not a word as her flesh rotted. She could not say a word as she persisted as a skeleton for a moment before becoming drifting golden motes.

1/?

>>5632877
>The fate of Cheery
Her awareness was dim. There was nothing around her, but she was floating atop a great sea, a colourless sea, an odourless sea. How could one know it was a sea? She felt her mind sharpen. Mana filled her, mana left her and went to the sea. From outer sea, to inner sea, to outer sea. It was all. She knew then and breathed, closing her eyes.

When they opened, she was changed, she was the same, but more, the sea was gone, but the sea is always there.

"Only one, how lucky. Ruined an experiment without breaking the contract. Hmmm, now that I look at you, quite the improvement, yes a bit cute even."

Cheery was slightly larger than a regular goblin, but her head was no longer bald, she had a messy nest of blonde hair, her nose was no longer a comically large pointed thing, it was only slightly pointer than normal noses. The fur of her body, which mainly covered her back, legs and arms was no longer patchy. The feathers forming a ruff around her neck were larger and now healthy glossy midnight blue. Her skin was no longer an unpleasant yellow, it was instead a warm yellow, instead of a dirty snot yellow. The figure of a young girl in blossom, modestly endowed.

"Yeah, quite cute. Hmm, change of plans, hey become my woman, and I'll seriously teach you, become my hidden blade, and when you are strong enough, we'll defeat Yadh, don't worry you'll only need enough to free me, I take care of my girls"

Cheery the goblin noble ran a hand through her hair, somewhat entranced by her transformation.

"Do I like, even have much of a choice? I'm like super cut off from the king, if I die here, like it's totes for good"

"Aww, don't be like that babe" Zazanova gently pulled the noble onto his lap.

"There's always a choice, and hey you become my girl, and I'm practically a slave! A real man would fight a magi-horror for his lady" he reasoned, bringing his lamp head to Cherry's ear.

The Goblin King stopped watching.

"Under the shadows of powerful beings, may you survive, as a noble you are no longer my charge" he somberly muttered.

>The adventure of the goblin band ended in the creation of a goblin noble, although not in the safest of situations, perhaps the king will check up on her, maybe even lend a hand if his mood is good enough.

>Bold, Sickly, Alert, Quiet, Lively and Sad have been logged as goblins, when the number of goblins in a band drop below 10 there's a chance they'll be there! Depending on what happens, you might get to force the issue too.

Then the king clapped his hands and rubbed them together.

"Now, that was quite fun! Where to send some goblins next?"

Through a portal, various scenes appeared...

>Choose a starting location for your adventure!

2/3

>>5632878
>The foot of a snowy mountain where the cruel dragon known as the Lord of Soot lives...

>Uhh, isn't that underwater, Goblin King, we can't breathe underwater!

>A gingerbread house stands alone in a dark forest...

>Glowing bulbs with roots in the walls illuminate the soil of a grand underground...

>Is that a cloud? Goblin King, Goblin King, we goblins can't fly either!

>A buff red skinned man with horns is raking a pale man in rags over coals...

>Amid a sea of iron sand, a ship lies abandoned...

>Atop a lonely hill is a white mansion, the door and windows are boarded up...

>The goblin band has a base amount of 10. Roll 1d50 two times for goblins that sneak in, and extra goblins thrown in by the king.

>You may choose to accept a random quest from the king, he doesn't have any plans or plots, he's really just picking things at random.

>The goblin I would have chosen would have been Quiet, because although she is a regular goblin, her lust for power is greater, that and I liked her design.

>>5632879
>Accept a random quest from the king

>The goblin I would have chosen would have been Quiet
It's always the silent ones, huh?

>>5632887
The quest is in addition to the location, now excuse me while I become comatose.

Rolled 36 (1d50)

>>5632879
>>A gingerbread house stands alone in a dark forest...
Eat the house!
>You may choose to accept a random quest from the king, he doesn't have any plans or plots, he's really just picking things at random.

Rolled 21 (1d50)

>>5632898
Ah I see, thanks for the clarification.

>>5632879
>The foot of a snowy mountain where the cruel dragon known as the Lord of Soot lives...

Rolled 15 (1d50)

>>5632879
>>A gingerbread house stands alone in a dark forest...
>>5632910
Seconding

>>5632910
>>5632912
>>5632937

>A gingerbread house stands alone in a dark forest

>The adventure begins with 67 goblins, a sizable force!

Rolling for random quest

>>5633157
Woops. Here's that roll.

Rolled 2, 6, 3 = 11 (3d6)

>>5633158

How embarrassing, well third time is the charm

Rolled 176 (1d777)

>>5632910
>>5632912
>>5632937
>>5633159
>The Goblin band's quest is to seek out the Feast of the Unicorns deep within Hiddledink the Mad Enchanted Forest.

>A quest need not be completed (indeed sometimes it will be near impossible), or pursued, but a little direction can be nice, remember you, me and the goblin king are here to have fun and if the goblins die, they just respawn. Should you complete a quest, well perhaps a reward awaits...

Distant was the melody of birds and fairies in Hiddledink, where the trees were realer than real, talked about you behind your back and were fond of moving around just to make sure you got really lost. A gingerbread house stood among the trees, who only dared to extend their branches over it, they wisely kept their trunks and roots well away.

Serene.

Picturesque.

Then, where there were none, a large goblin band appeared!

"Hooray, fun!" "New place!" "Neigh" "Gob be first" "Nice smell" "Good song" "Uuu, dark, very dark" "Tasty trees?" "Unicorn where?" "Lovely tree, no eat" "Umu, get splinters in lips" "Neigh" "Lookie, house!" "Gob heard horse?" "Amazing!" "Gob sorry, all me"

They chattered and gawked, but soon went silent, all looking at the gym gingerbread house. It was only one storey, had licorice roof tiles, clear jelly windows and a big cookie door, though which chocolate chip was the door handle was anyone's guess. It was not extravagantly iced, just a bit of golden icing, but there were a few large gumdrops of many colours casting light out into the dark enchanted forest.

>Eat the gingerbread house

>Just a nibble

>Take a bit to eat on the adventure later

>Is that lights deeper in the forest?

>Call out loudly for unicorns

>A dirt path? Unicorns?

>Climbing! Unicorns on treetops?

>Eat trees!

>Flatter trees

>Lumberjacking!

>Knock on door, hello are unicorns home?

>Lynch the goblin that neighed (-1 goblin)

>>5633181
>Goblin King's Mood: 176! Foul!
It may have just started, but the king is impatient! If his mood is foul twice, he is likely to spice things up!

>>5633181
>Eat the gingerbread house

>>5633181
>A dirt path? Unicorns?

>>5633181
>>Eat the gingerbread house

>>5633199
>>5633265
>>5633290
Goblin fight!

Please roll the following;
Eat house
23d6
22d6

Dirt trail
22d6

Let us see how many goblins get knocked unconscious before they can even eat any house!

Rolled 6, 2, 4, 2, 2, 3, 1, 3, 1, 1, 6, 1, 6, 1, 2, 2, 5, 3, 6, 6, 5, 6, 4 = 78 (23d6)

>>5633327
CONSUME

Rolled 6, 2, 4, 3, 6, 2, 1, 3, 6, 1, 6, 4, 4, 2, 4, 4, 4, 2, 5, 2, 1, 4 = 76 (22d6)

>>5633327
Death from a sweet-tooth

Rolled 6, 5, 1, 1, 1, 6, 2, 1, 5, 6, 2, 3, 2, 3, 3, 2, 3, 5, 4, 1, 3, 1 = 66 (22d6)

>>5633327
dirt trail

Sorry for the delay, and I'm sorry that this will be the only update today.

>>5633329
>>5633336
>>5633339
GOBLIN FIGHT!
>Sweet Tooth Goblins rolled: 154! 8 goblins are KO'd!
>Dirt Trail Goblins rolled: 66! 6 goblins are KO'd!
Total Available Goblins: 53
Total Goblins: 67

Surrounding twenty-two goblins were forty five goblins whose eyes were already swirling, so enchanted by the smell and sight of the gingerbread house.

"House sus!" "Vibe bad" "Neigh" "Follow trail!" "King Quest!" "Heard Unicorn from it!" "Sorry was gob again" "Eat later!" "Gob already full" "Prefer sours" "Gob gave up eating for fun"

They gave a variety of reasons for their non-house desiring treachery. Honestly not eating a strange house in an enchanted forest is usually a good idea, it never ends well. Goblins will be goblins. That any of them thought something was amiss with the house was astounding.

Sensibility isn't common among goblins, part of this is them being witless, having given most of their wits to their monarch. The other part is violence. Goblins that show insufficient reckless and heedless behaviour are often beaten for being weird.

The beatings don't really do that much and the goblins administering them are usually inconsistent about it. No, the violence that teaches goblins their impulsive and thoughtless ways is the violence of death. Dying teaches goblins that they can do just about anything without worrying about consequences.

Like having a brawl in a forest in front of a highly suspect house sized confectionery house.

The front door of the house opened a crack, and someone peered out. The door closed again, unnoticed by the brawling goblins. Goblins like a good brawl, especially against other goblins, paying attention to your surroundings means less time committing a mutual suplex.

Within the house, someone slumped against the door.

"I'm going back to bed and pretending I saw nothing. They'll move on. Yes. What goblins? There's no goblins outside. Those sounds are just boars tussling"

A particularly large squeal of pain came from a goblin whose nose got in between two goblins crosscounter.

"That was just a forest cat being wrung by a snake!"

"Take this, gob special move!" One goblin began to roar as much as a goblin could, which wasn't much, but what he lacked in volume he patched up with length, well until he was flying drop kicked in the chest.
"Gahhh, no move not finished! No fair!" He screamed.

"Fairness, gob gobbed it!"

Just as this goblin was being smug there was a loud neigh, a goblin riding another goblin on all fours bowled the would be smug goblin over. The rider was the one who neighed, by the way.

The occupant of the house put her hands to her ears, and there was a tiny flow of magic.

"I can't hear anything, there must be nothing outside, definitely not a large goblin band, right! Time for more beauty sleep, guheheguheheguh."

She continued her strangled frog laugh all the way to bed.

1/2

Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>5633522
Outside the goblin brawl continued, but in spite of the Dirt Trail Goblins' use of a three goblin tossing formation to catapult goblins at goblins, well perhaps because of it, the three goblins had pretty bad aim, but goblins kept lining up to be launched.

Who was on whose side got a little confused when it came to the goblin launchers, so popular they proved to be. Regardless, victory was the Sweet Tooth Gang's! They beat the losers a bit extra just to make sure they knew their place. The goblin launchers got lesser beatings. The neighsayer got more, especially since he wouldn't stop neighing.

A few goblins were down for the count, but finally all turned to the house, mouths open wide!

>A minor trial of fate is upon the goblins!
>Roll 25d6 twice
>Roll 3d6 once
>Success means the whole house is eaten, failure means it is only partially eaten.

Rolled 4, 4, 3, 2, 6, 5, 5, 3, 5, 1, 4, 3, 4, 3, 5, 1, 3, 2, 1, 5, 3, 5, 2, 1, 4 = 84 (25d6)

>>5633528

Rolled 4, 2, 1, 2, 2, 1, 2, 6, 6, 1, 5, 2, 5, 4, 4, 5, 3, 3, 1, 2, 6, 3, 3, 4, 6 = 83 (25d6)

>>5633528
Yum

Rolled 2, 1, 4 = 7 (3d6)

>>5633528

>>5633529
>>5633531
>>5633555
>Minor Trial of Fate: Unending Gingerbread Heck
>Goblins rolled: 174, failed to beat the average! 9 goblins died!
>All goblins rendered immobile!
>Total Available Goblins: 6
>Total Goblins: 58

Jaws moved back and forth, side to side. Throats swallowed. The goblins ate in a frenzy... Yet progress was slow. Not one wall was breached, part of this was due to the goblins all eating different parts of the house. A small team was making good progress on eating the cookie door and one of the windows was being licked to nothingness. At this point, not a single gumdrop light remained, having been one of the first things they ate.

It was no longer fun, enjoyable or tasty. The goblins were stuffed and the monotony of the gingerbread was maddening, but the magic of the confectionary had claimed them. The goblins on the wall looked enviously at the goblins eating licorice roof tiles, but those goblins were wishing they had something to break up the taste of licorice.

A few goblins directly burst, their bodies not being able to handle the amount of gingerbread, they had eaten. Their companions enviously watched them turn to golden motes. Pretty much all the goblins were considering suicide, but they were much too bloated to move. The deaths of their companions triggered some manner of change, and they were no longer compelled to eat. More than one goblin wanted to eat more just as so as death would come, but the thought of eating more was too repulsive to consider.

The goblins on the roof, now more like balls with limbs rolled off the roof as they lost the strength to move. To their disappointment, the fall wasn't enough to either kill or expell their stomach's contents.

One goblin though did not fall off the roof. The part he was on had weakened considerably from tiles being eaten and gingerbread beams being gnawed.

He fell right through into the house, landing directly in the witch's bedroom, right atop her bed, narrowly missing the witch herself.

She was either a beginner who inherited the house, or a witch of considerable might, given that she didn't look like a crone. She wasn't the prettiest mind you. Her mouth was definitely too large, and not even in an oddly charming way. Her skin was like the white of some frogs' bellies, it had the same look to it too. Her hair was a quite ordinary black, and was relatively short, only reaching her chin, it covered one side of her face.

One thing she clearly was, was a slob. Even in bed she wore her blue mushroom like witch's hat, thigh socks with alternating red and white stripes and her one piece silvery dress that still shined in spite of the bizarre collection of stains on it. Various kinds of trash filled the room, detritus from potion brewing, artefact crafting, dirty dishes and so on.

1/?

Rolled 69 (1d777)

>>5633882
She was not completely hopeless, as her boots were off. The plain boar-leather boots sat at the end of her bed forlornly. Though she wasn't so degenerate to wear them while sleeping, their poverty revealed a few things.

Four of the greatest artefacts a witch should have are; a magic house, a flying broom, witch hat and a pair of enchanted shoes or boots.

Real powerful witches even had multiple pairs!

Those boots though, not only were they not magical, they were even a little ugly.

The goblin didn't know or care about any of this, he was currently in a big pinch. The witch was mumbling in her sleep and had grabbed him in a vice like four limbed grip.

"Guheheguheheguh, I won't let you go my prince charming!"

She sleepily murmured and planted a big sloppy kiss on the goblin, which only reached his nose, on account of its longness. The goblin vomited. Fairness is due to our witch, it was not that the goblin found her repulsive, goblins after all make babies with other goblins, they really aren't very discriminating. It was because he was full and she was squeezing him.

He instantly felt better having vomited though, not that he had time to consider this as a banshee like screech ripped its way out of the witch as she went from pleasant dream to disgusting reality.

"Ahhh, g-goblin, goblin in my bed! Threw up on me, guhhewww! Nasty, disgusting, s-stinky!" She screamed as she rolled on the ground, causing junk to stick to her vomit clad body.

Even as a goblin, a being that tends to have dim understanding of the suffering of others, he felt a little bad.

"Gob sorry, you ok?"

The witch leapt up, blue frog eyes locking onto the offending goblin.

"Ok? Ok? Oh hiddle de gigill, a goblin is small, you can be smaller still!" As soon as she chanted, the goblin struck to the size of a mouse.

Grabbing an empty potion bottle the witch quickly scooped the goblin inside it an then dumped the bottle on her dresser.

She paused for a moment closing her eyes.
"Guhwee... goblins chewed everything, why couldn't they pick one wall, so much to fix"

She stomped over to her storeroom, which had many witchy things, but one thing in particular was a large cage whose metal bars were sculpted in the form of bones.

"0h, giddle de hidlins, O my cage, grow Legs and gobble up fat goblins!"

The cage instantly sprouted a pair of big hair legs, jumping up and down, clapping its soles in the air.

"That's enough, I know you're happy to be full again, but get on with it!"

The bars split on the cage and gnashed against each other like teeth and it ran out the house. The witch grabbed her broom and followed it out.

"Guhweeee. They even ate the door. I should have been like Teacher and gotten a chicken leg house, this thing just eats resources even as it is eaten."

She hopped on her broom and unsteadily flew off.

"Gonna dunk myself in that stupid Naiad's lake, guheheguheheguh, see how much she likes g-goblin vomit"

2/3

Rolled 2, 1, 2 = 5 (3d6)

>>5633884
The cage gobbled up the goblins, but in spite of it being a small cage, it never filled up. It soon finished and trundled back to the storage room, even knowing it would return to being a dumb, legless cage it wouldn't disobey its mistress.

Neither cage nor witch noticed that six goblins, those who had fallen unconscious from the brawl had awoken and seen everything.

>Eat gingerbread house!

>Free goblins! (Hard)

>Stealing! (Take everything that isn't bolted down)

>Flee! ( Can be taken as a free action with freeing, dragging the cage or otherwise

>Don't forget a single goblin!

>Drag cage away!

>Cauldron? Tasty Soup?

>Abandon brethren (Will require an opposed roll against fear of being a small group)

>Attack house

>Gob it out! (Write in action)

>Goblin King's Mood: 69! Black!
Uhoh! The king has some bad memories of witches that just surfaced! If the next mood is also black, he'll wipe the whole band out! As his mood was previously foul, he's going to spice things up! (+100 to his mood next roll and he'll do something with his magic!)

>>5633887
>Don't forget a single goblin!

>>5633887
>>Don't forget a single goblin!

>>5633917
>>5633923
Roll me a 6d6.

It will be a trial of talent, I'll roll two dice, a d6 and a die with faces equal to the number of goblins you have available. In this case: another d6.

The first die is what number you must meet or get above for a success. The second is how many successes you need.

No goblins die or become KO'd in a trial of talent. A major trial of talent does have deaths on failure, rather than die rolling a one, each goblin who fails to meet or exceed the first die result dies instead.

Rolled 3, 1, 3, 4, 3, 6 = 20 (6d6)

>>5633887
>>Don't forget a single goblin!
Voting as well even if I'm too late>>5634082

Rolled 5, 2, 6, 2, 5, 4 = 24 (6d6)

>>5634082

Rolled 4, 6 = 10 (2d6)

>>5634092
>>5634098
I've also formalized the goblin king's mood results, do speak up if you have any ideas relating to it, otherwise these will be the rules going forward;

Goblin King's Mood
Dubs: extra goblins! the number in front is how many
Trips: double the extra goblins!
Descending sequence: extra goblins equal to the highest number.
Ascending sequence: extra goblins equal to the highest number

Mood Rules.
Above 700: Bright mood, sends goblins equal to goblins that died, or rolls a gift for the goblins if no goblins died.
Above 500: Good mood, incapacitated goblins are made available, rolls a temporary buff for the goblins if none died.
Below 300: Foul mood, if hit twice, the king will spice things up.
Below 100: Black mood, if hit twice in a row, kills all goblins.

>>5634106
how do you determine the mood change?

>>5634106
I would say that the previous mood should affect how much it can change at one time, but being very fickle does fit a fae-like being, specially a powerful and bored one.

Rolled 637 (1d777)

>>5634109
I roll 1d777

>>5634111
makes sense. so it isn't modified by the previous mood?

>>5634122
I made one mistake, when the Goblin King spices it up, he gets +100 to his next mood roll. Black moods also count as foul moods. So a foul mood into a black mood will result in a seasoning.

Apart from that, it is as >>5634110 observed.

Though, even if the Goblin King wasn't bored out of his gourd, he'd still be super fickle. I mean, even regular goblins are fickle.

>>5634128
that's fair

Rolled 88 (1d777)

>>5634092
>>5634098
>Trial of talent! Rolls that meet or exceed 4 are successes! 6 successes are needed
>Goblins rolled: 1 success, failure!
>Someone has been forgotten!
>Available goblins: 6
>Imprisoned Goblins: 51
>Total goblins: 57

Six brave goblins rushed into the house, determined that no goblin should be left behind, they searched high and low, and immediately stopped searching when they found the cage with groaning goblins.

"Hurrhurr, serves Gob right!" "Sweet house bad news!" "Gob smarter than loser gob!" "Loser gobs!" "Losers~"

The caged goblins groaned a little harder. One of them managed to speak.

"Sod off, gob just jealous we ate tasty!"


One of the six, infuriated grabbed the arm of the caged goblin and pulled, but the goblin's bloated stomach could not get past the bars.

"AHH, stop, stop, gob pull gob's arm out!"

The pulling goblin just snorted dismissively.
"Gobs, help pull, more strength!" He said to his five companions.

>The goblin kind decided to spice things up! (First roll was action: 2, second was the medium: 1, the third was the aspect/danger: 2)

Just as the goblins were about to half accidentally rip the arm from the poor goblin's socket, a mighty rumbling was heard and felt, sending the goblins to their bottoms.

"Heck!" "Gob falling to Heck!" "Sky falling?" "Endtimes?" "Hold gob" "Neigh!" "Sweet still not coming out!" "Unicorn?" "Gob feel sicker now" "Sorry, gob again" "Gobs gobbing?"

The rumbling ended with a mighty bang that sent goblins and everything in the storehouse flying up, before crashing down again. With that final crash, one of the walls gave way, letting a creepy bluish white mist in, and a bone piercing chill.

Within the mist, a number of skeletal forms arose, black flames glowing sulkily from their sockets. The goblin king had raised a portion of Hades causing the ground beneath the gingerbread house to collapse!

Elsewhere, above in the mad enchanted forest, a witch bullying a naiad felt an inexplicable chill, as if her house had suffered a terrible fate for the amusement of some powerful being, but she brushed the feeling off, (her old teacher would have beaten her for that), with a guheheguheheguh and went back to picking on someone far prettier that her, who would surely drown any charming princes, the harlot! (This at least is the witch's feelings).

Back to the hadedic pit...

The few restless dead, manes, in the area drew closer to this disturbance of their home. Did the house land right on their spirit treasures?

The six goblins twitched nervously and the caged goblins had cold sweat.

The Six Goblins
Hide, quick! (Trial of talent)
>That pot?
>Cauldron?
>Cage!
>Tall cracked mirror!
>Wardrobe!
>Big chest!

Gob beating! (Trial of Force: Opposing roll, numbers and strength of manes unknown)
>Surprise!
>Goblin traps?
>Roll cauldron?

Flee! (Abandoning the group requires a major trial of fate roll against Fear, Pov will always follow the largest group of goblins)

1/2

Rolled 6 (1d6)

>>5634204
The Caged Goblins
No choices, just a minor trial of talent. There is no number of successes needed for the minor trial. Each goblin that beats or meets the testing d6 will be able to act after the next update.
So roll me 17d6, 17d6 and another 17d6.

>The Goblin King's Mood: 88, Foul, Dubs!
The Goblin King didn't mean to raise up that bit of Hades, he is seriously angry, but there is only himself to blame, this means he will spice things up AGAIN! In a the throes of his fit of anger 8 goblins got chucked onto the scene!

I did consider making so that foul moods couldn't chain, but having them chain is more fitting. Each chain is called a tantrum

>>5634208
Woops, the mood is 188, still foul, but only one extra goblin. Had it not been for the spicing, that would have actually been a black mood. My bad.

Rolled 1, 5, 5, 3, 2, 5, 6, 2, 1, 5, 1, 6, 5, 6, 6, 5, 2 = 66 (17d6)

>>5634204
>Roll cauldron?

Rolled 2, 2, 1, 6, 1, 2, 1, 3, 6, 6, 6, 2, 4, 5, 4, 2, 1 = 54 (17d6)

>>5634208
rolling Cauldron as well

Rolled 8, 7, 10, 10, 4 = 39 (5d10)

>>5634216
>>5634239

Roll 4d6 and 3d6

Rolled 6, 6, 6 = 18 (3d6)

>>5634278
Almost forgot to roll for the king's spice!

>>5634278

>>5634285
What does this mean

>>5634307
I'm rolling on the table for how the king will spice things up since his mood was fouled, continued to be foul

Just like I did here: >>5633887

For the record, that particular roll was Seek, Place and... the third thing I won't reveal the nature of yet. It does use the same table as the king's random quest.

Anyway, still waiting on those >>5634278
Goblin rolls, especially since the other anon got his dice eaten.

>>5634323
Oh I was more concerned about it being a perfect roll

Rolled 1, 2, 2, 5 + 3 = 13 (4d6 + 3)

>>5634323
If you capitalize "dice" it borks the machine

Rolled 5, 3, 1 = 9 (3d6)

>>5634355
"dice+4d6+3d6" Didn't work lol

Rolled 3, 2, 6 = 11 (3d6)

>>5634278

>>5634323
>Goblin rolls, especially since the other anon got his dice eaten.
Sorry, didn't realize that happened.
Well it seems that at least there were other anons to cover for my mistake.

Rolled 4, 4, 3, 6, 5, 1, 5, 6, 3, 1, 4, 6, 1, 2, 5, 5, 4 = 65 (17d6)

>>5634208
Overlooked that there was still a roll left needing to be done, rolling and writing now.

Rolled 181 (1d777)

>>5634216
>>5634239
>>5634355
>>5634360
>The Goblin King is throwing a tantrum! Rolled; 6, 6, 6, Oh Heck! Capture, Event, [Redacted]!
>Caged Goblins: Minor Trial of Talent! 6 to meet or beat! 11 goblins succeeded!
>Imprisoned Goblins remaining: 40
>Seven Goblins: Rolling cauldron, Trial of Force! Manes rolled 39. Goblins rolled 21, failure! 1 goblin died!
>Total Goblins: 57
>Available Goblins: 17

Manes are a kind of undead of course. They come to be when an honoured dead is worshipped as a god. Typically they have to hang out in Hades, that dull place where one can only polish the spiritual form of the treasures one was buried with. It is more than a little bit of a raw deal though, as if someone digs up the physical treasures, the spiritual ones are lost. Not only that, but if a manes is not worshipped, they degrade into a mostly mindless shambling corpse. On top of that, other manes can steal your treasures. The First Manes created Hades wanting a heaven for his followers, but well when one cannot break six, there's limits to miracles.

Hades is basically filled with undead clans raiding each other for the amusement of the truly powerful manes. Not all that different than the land of the living. For an idea of what manes look like, the weakest kind looks like a skeleton with mottled thin grey skin pulled tight over it, a fitful ring of smoke circles their necks. The strongest is full in flesh looking even better than they did in life, though the eyes blaze as a dark flame and thick smoke sparkling like the night sky circles the neck and back of the head.

It requires a particular ceremony for a manes to end up in Hades, but in spite of its downsides, many do it out of fear of Heck.

A goblin appeared in thin air, having been thrown by the raging Goblin King.
"Gob, help push cauldron!"
The new goblin was a bit disoriented, but was more than happy to help the six push the big heavy brass cauldron made in the shape of a frog, the mouth of the cauldron being the mouth of the frog.

"Heeve-ho!" "Neigh!" "Ho-heeve!" "Heavy!" "Splashy!" "Unicorn?" "Sorry, was Gob -ow!" "Less horseplay, more push!"

As the seven tried to move the cauldron, the caged goblins had recovered enough to move around, but they were too bloated to slip through the bars of the cage! There was only one solution to this! The goblins began punching each other in the stomach, lifting each other upside down and shaking, a few even hugged each other tightly, squeezing hard and a few reached into their own mouths to force the matter. In the end only 11 were successful at forcing out the sweet confectionary they ate. The a few of the hugging goblins in particular got a bit distracted and utterly failed.

Back above in the forest, the witch paused in her torments of the naiad whose crime was being too pretty. The witch had the feeling another possession of hers was being destroyed, but as she was having too much fun with the hateful naiad, she ignored the feeling once more...
1/?

Rolled 1 (1d6)

>>5634746
Back to the hadedic pit...

The seven goblins finally succeeded in tipping over the cauldron, sending the contents, a complicated and expensive brew the witch had been working on for months, out onto the floor, the floorboards of which instantly turned into gingerbread rabbits, doves and snakes before fleeing into the distance. The manes could be heard moaning in surprise.

Above in the forest, the witch dropped the naiad back into the lake and hopped on her broom, speeding back home. She wasn't quite foolish enough to ignore three warnings.

Back in the hadedic pit...


The goblins began to roll the heavy cauldron.
"Help, gob fell inside!" "Eh, gob hear something?" "Probably, gob neighing again" "Push faster!" "Shamblies not know what hit them!" "Hehehe!"

The six goblins rolled it faster and faster, and as it reached the doorway missing its door, the cauldron escaped their hands and all six fell flat on their faces.

Goblinic cursing could be faintly heard from within, and just before the brass frog could really pick up speed, it crashed into five manes near the doorway who immediately steadied themselves to catch it.

The goblin who had fallen inside shook his head and looked up, and looking back were five manes, each with the lipless forced toothy grin fallen manes have, only the points on their withered ears suggested they may have once been elves.

"Hullo" said the goblin nervously as the manes reached inside the frog-cauldron.

A short lived scream, and the goblin that had been tossed in by the Goblin King died.

Dropping the cauldron, the manes were about to advance inside the ruined house...

>The Goblin King, in a foul mood because he hadn't intended on raising a bit of Hades, goes with what he meant to do.

The lifeless rock of Hades twisted, forming a square of rock in the form of ugly leering gargoyles. The square was hollow in the middle. The rock began to dye blood red. The manes mindless gathered around it, somehow disturbed. A golden crack appeared, along with a particular aura that roused a bit of fear in the mostly mindless undead.

The aura of Heck! The Goblin King had made a small Heckgate!

A red skinned muscled arm clad in ornate golden armour thrust out from the gate, grabbing a manes by the head and pulling it forcefully through the gate, widening the gate in the process! The owner of the arm crawled out.

A woman that was far more handsome than beautiful. Such was the extent of her muscles that only those who liked that sort of thing would be enamoured. Her four limbs were covered in golden armour that looked more decorative than practical, the foot-pieces were even high-heeled, they were likely very magical though. The thin and narrow black tabard she wore did little to cover her bountiful upper and lower assets, her nun-like habit however, completely hid what hair she might have. It didn't hide her spiraling golden horns that stood up straight from her head like the ears of a startled hare though.

2/?

Rolled 1, 6, 4 = 11 (3d6)

>>5634752
Shining gold eyes glittered with excitement as she gripped a similarly golden six pronged pitchfork in one hand. Behind her back a pair of black leathery wings flapped happily and her whip-like tail cracked like one, bulbous spade on the end none the worse for the rough treatment.

A valkyrie of Heck! All the denizens Heck call themselves angels, but the denizens of Absurdia fear their judgement and punishments, naming them demon!

"Hahaha!" She heroically laughed.
"You unrighteous dead, you thought you had escaped your crimes! But justice in the form of I, Hildaxyr has come!" She impaled fleeing manes and tossed them in Heckgate.

The goblins, just watched like children seeing a fun puppet show.

A mighty roar came from within the hadedic mists, and a manes wearing a rich robe with thick smoke spilling around his neck strode out, following him was a mass of weaker manes and fallen manes.

"Wretched servant of Heck, can you not see it is by some other being's will we clash here!"

Hildaxyr laughed.

"It matters not who carries out the will of Provenance, all that matters is Justice will be served and you long hidden away will pay for your deeds in life in Heck!"

With that, the two engaged in battle, black flame and magical barriers against brute justice! Seeing the manes was strong enough to fully occupy her attention, she shouted out.

"Come forth, imps of Heck! Drag the unrighteous back to face judgement!"

A swarm of red skinned midget men and women in black tunics split at the sides spilled out from the Heckgate, clashing with the lesser manes. The faces of the imps were curiously similar to that of goblins, large noses and everything. They had lush locks of flaming hair though, and wee little horn nubs, they also were cute rather than ugly.

The goblin band weren't quite sure what to make of the battle that erupted before them.

The 17 free goblins...
Fightings?
Trials of Force
>Attack the imps, only one mascot around here!
>Attack lesser manes!
>Attack each other in confusion!

Trials of Fate
>Attack Hildaxyr, Valkyrie of Heck
>Attack Unnamed Greater Magician Manes
>Ask Wing lady for lift up, gotta find Unicorn feast! (Minor trial)
>Mock Magic Manes (Minor Trial)
>Mock Wing Lady


Trials of Talent
>Hidings?
>Make traps?
>Help free remaining goblins (minor trial)
>Just sit watching the fight and eating gingerbread house (-100 to goblin king's next moodswing)

Imprisoned Goblins
Minor Trial of Talent again. Number to beat or meet is 1 automatic success! No roll.

>Goblin King's Mood: Rolled 181+100, Foul, tantrum continues.
The King was quite pleased with the Heckgate, but was then annoyed as he remembered that he had intended to put the gate above in the forest before, now there was a bit of Hades, so of course the servants of Heck would ignore his goblins! The most vexing thing was being used as a tool by Provenance, that sly will! No this wasn't good. It had to be perfect, perfect! The Goblin King was getting a little off track.

>>5634757
Didn't realize it had gotten that large. Hm.
Goblin Kings Hits Destroy, Event and [redacted] for his continued tantrum, wonder if he'll keep it up. I might consider dropping the bar down to sub 200 instead of 300.

>>5634757
>Attack lesser manes!
>Attack Unnamed Greater Magician Manes
>Help free remaining goblins (minor trial)

>>5634766
Your goblinic spirit is appreciated, but unless stated otherwise, it's only one option you can vote for

>>5634775
I thought we had to vote for one of each option
In that case
>Help free remaining goblins (minor trial)

>>5634757
>>Help free remaining goblins (minor trial)
let's worry about the manes and the imps once we have our own boys free.

>>5634779
>>5634783
I made a mistake. You don't need to help the goblins. I forgot to remove that option when the caged goblins got an auto success on their trial roll.

Sorry.

>>5634791
>>5634757
Voting for this then
>Attack lesser manes!
Mascot teamwork!

>>5634757
>>Attack lesser manes!
maybe we can find out where they have their treasure hidden

Rolled 9, 2, 3, 2, 6, 5, 2, 4, 2, 2 = 37 (10d10)

>>5634793
>>5634799
Roll 8d6 and 9d6. A hidden bonus to your results for fighting a foe already in combat!

I'll be writing after my evening meal at the latest.

Rolled 5, 2, 5, 2, 3, 6, 4, 1 = 28 (8d6)

>>5634804
>>5634804
I will roll the other dice in about 20 minutes if the other guy doesn't, but i'll give him a chance

Rolled 1, 4, 3, 2, 4, 3, 5, 4 = 26 (8d6)

>>5634804

Rolled 2 (1d6)

>>5634809
perfect timing lol

>>5634810
Just 4 seconds apart

Rolled 547 (1d777)

>>5634793
>>5634799
>The goblin king is still having a tantrum! Rolled 1, 6, 4, Destroy, Event, [Redacted]
>Caged Goblins: Minor Trial of Talent! 1 to meet or beat, automatic success!
>Imprisoned Goblins remaining: 0! You didn't forget anyone, right?
>17 goblins: Attack lesser manes, Trial of Force! Manes rolled 37! Goblins rolled 56, suprise attack, result doubled! 115! A successful surprise attack results in no goblin KOs, additionally the attack is fatal on success. Undead and other beings resistant to fatal wounds ignore the first fatality, but the presence of the imps and Heckgate ignore this.
>Total Goblins: 57

When goblins fight head on, they need overwhelming numbers usually. Goblins are however, strangely competent at sneak attacks, supposedly dying lots produces a talent for that sort of thing. Many scholars disagree, claiming that frequent death just creates a talent for dying stupidly. But even if one accepts the position of these naysayers, that still leaves the issue of where the goblinic skill at fatal strikes comes from.

A classic goblin tactic is to send in half their number to their probable deaths and then sneakily strike with the rest. Tactic. Yes.

However inexplicable goblin's sneak attacks are, it was very effective against the lesser manes. The goblins crawled up backs tearing throats out with teeth or hands. Some struck with the motley assortment of junk they considered weapons. Gnawing, clawing and bludgeoning, they were surprisingly effective. Of course, their foes were undead so these wounds didn't kill them, seeing as they were already dead, but...

"Haha!" That valiant lady's voice rang out again.
"Justice comes in the form of goblins!"
"They're clearly the subjects of a powerful goblin king, one likely laughing at us both!" The mage manes screeched.
"Pah, you fear ridicule? I would become a clown if it would bring the unrighteous to justice! Imps! Don't waste the chance the goldkin gave you! Drag the manes to Heck, Provenance is with us! Haha!"
"Nooooooo my slaves! You can't take them, you can't!"
Hildaxyr gave a back handed slap that pierced the Mage's barriers, sending him spinning to make a furrow in the ground!
"You'll join them soon enough ne'er-do-well!"
"Neigh?" Questioned a goblin thinking his time had come.

The manes wailed pitifully as the imps grabbed them and tossed them into the Heckgate. The goblins thought it looked and sounded fun and began to toss the manes in too, this cheered the spirits of the imps greatly.

"How kind" some said.
"Keep that up, and you'll be tortured less when you finally arrive at Heck!"
"Always nice to have a helping hand"
"The cutest goblins"
"Their royal must be a big softie"

It wasn't something they really understood, but they were happy to hear positive voices directed at them. Just as the last few manes were chucked in the Heckgate, Hildaxyr's ears twitched and her horns vibrated a bit.

1/?

Rolled 4, 3, 1 = 8 (3d6)

>>5634977
She quickly gave the mage another back handed slap and then made some distance. She held out her pitchfork and shouted.

*Rumble*

"Imps to me! Grab whatever wherever you can!"

*Rumble*

Not a moment of hesitation was in the actions of the imps, in the wink of an eye, Hildaxyr could no longer be seen, just a lump of imps and the valkyrie's wings.

*Rumble*

"We will meet at your true end goblins!"

*Rumble*

That said, she flew up past the forest and into the sky, vanishing.

*Rumble*

Getting up and casting a spell to clean his robes, the mage manes turned his wicked gaze to the goblins.

"Hah, chased her off, harlot!" He delusionally muttered. "Now, I'll take this humiliation out on you wretches if my name isn't... Wait, what IS that rumbling?"

>The Goblin King's tantrum continues!

To put it simply, he blew it all the Heck away.

You see Absurdia, much like more reasonable worlds, has leylines. The magical veins of the whole world. Even if it isn't a sphere, chunk, flat plane, flat plane on elephants on a turtle or a trapezoid, like most realms Absurdia has them. A common trait of worlds that are themselves a living being.

The king, in the throes of his wild foul mood simply gave the one where the pit was a push. It was already in a bad state due to all the earlier nonsense he had pulled.

Now, he blew it all to heck, but there is a sequence here.

First, the Heckgate also exploded due to the stress, the hecking powers instantly vaporised the mage manes. Misfortunate magician didn't even get to scream or put up a barrier (which would fail). The goblins were not rendered into motes, was it the calculation of the king, the goodwill of Hildaxyr or the mercy of Provenance? They were however tossed back into the ruined gingerbread house.

Then the leyline fully exploded, sending earth, mana and the house flying into the sky. A froglike scream of a maiden accompanied the ascension. The goblins clung on to whatever they could find for dear life.

Up up it went, down down it came. Those goblins who still had bloated stomachs soon no longer had that problem. Luckily for goblins, they have a high threshold for disgusting things.

The final crash to ground completely did the ruined house in, and all four walls fell over, the remaining parts of the roof flying every-which-way.

Once, a gingerbread house stood alone in a dark forest.

Now only sweet ruins lay on a hill of hecking deathly rubble and ghostly treasure. Mana circulating the colours of red, black, yellow and gold would jet up in the air now and again from bubbling pools, creating rainbows and formless sprites, the trees surrounding this mess were already changing in an odd manner.

Collapsed on her knees, clutching her broken broom was a witch half covered in dirt. Her eyes were blank and soulless. She kept muttering things like; 'house' 'g-goblins' 'what did I do to deserve this' 'never bullying naiads again' 'why me?'. Most of this was accompanied by hiccuping guhwees.

2/3

>>5634980
The goblins dug themselves out of the rubble, none the worse for wear.

What would the band do, now free and not under threat of attack by undead or witch?

>You can vote for an action, a (free) loot option
Free Loot Options AND departure option. You don't have to vote for a trial.
Departures and any goblin fights needed will only happen on success of chosen trials of fate. If only trials of talent are chosen, the goblins leave even on failure.

FREE LOOT
>Witch's hat (She is shell-shocked enough you can just grab it off her head)
>Witch's cauldron
>Some ghostly treasure
>Gingerbread house rubble
>Potion reagents
>Witch's cage
>Hecking stones
>Hadedic stones
>Hecking dirt
>Hadedic dirt
>Witch's bed (surprisingly still intact)
>Some potions are still intact?

Trials of Fate (remember, success or failure any goblin that rolls 1 or 2 dies)
>Steal the witch's boots (currently on her feet, may enrage the witch)
>Mock the witch (may enrage the witch)
>Unicorns where? (The witch may be too stunned to answer, but aware enough to curse)
>Abduct the witch (Major trial, 3s also kill)

Trials of talent
>Collect mana (major: deaths and kos enabled, failure will also kill goblins, as on failure they'll use their mouths or hands to collect)
>Lumberjacking!

>GOB IT OUT (Trial type depending on write in)

DEPARTURES
>Just leave by the dirt trail
>Lights still there!
>Just leave in a random direction (roll on the same table as the king's quests and seasoning)
>Just leave behind the witch
>Leave in the direction indicated by the witch (Must be picked with >Unicorns where?)

GOBLIN KING'S MOOD: 547+100 Good!
The catharsis of blowing up all his mess ups still comforts the Goblin King, and he enjoyed the results. He already made a portrait of the mage manes' shocked face to hang somewhere in the castle. He feels no guilt at all of course.

>>5634983
>Some ghostly treasure
>Unicorns where? (The witch may be too stunned to answer, but aware enough to curse)

>>5634983
>Witch's bed (surprisingly still intact)
>Lumberjacking!

>>5634983
>>Witch's hat (She is shell-shocked enough you can just grab it off her head)

>>Just leave in a random direction (roll on the same table as the king's quests and seasoning

>>Steal the witch's boots (currently on her feet, may enrage the witch)

Rolled 2 (1d6)

>>5634985
Roll 19d6

>>5634998
Roll 19d6

>>5635056
Roll 19d6

Rolled 3, 1, 3, 6, 4, 6, 5, 4, 1, 6, 6, 1, 3, 6, 2, 2, 4, 4, 2 = 69 (19d6)

>>5635072

>>5634983
can goblins reproduce with witches?

>>5635086
I feel strangely compelled to answer, anon with a very out of the blue completely innocent question.

Goblins offer up most of their being to their monarch, which includes fertility, so reproduction has slim odds even between goblins, nevermind anything else. Only beings that share a root origin(most do) can reproduce, and halfbreeds can get all the best of both, the worst of both or anything in-between. The goblins in this setting mainly (there are a few other reasons) reach their numbers because they are functionally immortal while their monarch lives.

These are more fae goblins than rape and murder goblins. Not that death isn't a likely result of a goblin encounter.

Between the fickle monarch and the lesser goblins' poor understanding of death, someone is more than likely die because of some game or fancy they take.

Also, not once have I said what kind of being she is, so there's that too.

Witch might be a race in a few things, but not here.

Rolled 3, 2, 2, 6, 5, 3, 1, 5, 6, 5, 3, 6, 1, 1, 3, 6, 3, 4, 1 = 66 (19d6)

>>5635072

Rolled 5, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5, 5, 1, 3, 3, 6, 1, 6, 4, 3, 5, 2, 3, 6 = 72 (19d6)

>>5635072

Rolled 6 (1d19)

>>5635134
Sorry for the delay, rolling trial of talent success quantities needed.

Writing.

Rolled 3, 3, 2 = 8 (3d6)

>>5635056
Rolling random direction dice.

Rolled 218 (1d777)

>>5634985
>>5634998
>>5635056
>Gobking's mood blessing: Generation of Savage Will I (where once was nothing, desperate survival)
>Unicorns where? Goblins rolled 69! Success! Six deaths! Level of blessing too low for effect.
>Steal boots! Goblins rolled 66, By the power of the blessing, half success, witch not roused, one boot obtained! Six deaths!
>Lumberjacking! 2 is the target number. 6 successes needed! Goblins Succeeded!
>Random Direction: the home of a hostile beast [redacted] II
>Loot chosen: Ghostly treasure, Witch's bed, Witch's hat
Total Dead Goblins: 12
Total Goblins: 45

The goblins burst into a flurry of activity as the Goblin King works some manner of magic in his good mood, a silvery light seeping into the goblins.

A single mob with well ordered chaos split into three mobs, one hoisted the witch's bed and marched out of the house.

They began to sing a terrible goblin song, almost as bad a particularly similar dwarven song, but as the single lyric, the cry was 'loot' not 'gold' the other two mobs danced around the bed which was bobbed up and down.

As they danced, they picked up ghostly treasures and tossed them onto the bed, then when there were no more treasures, the two cavorting mobs departed from each other, one assaulting the surrounding trees and the other crowding around the witch. The bedbearers bobbed themselves in front of the collapsed witch.

She didn't rouse from her shocked state, but she did twitch with each cry of 'loot' in the goblins' song. One goblin snatched her hat, putting it upon one of the posts of the bed. The goblin in question had almost put it on her head, but sometimes even a goblin can have the smallest bit of insight.

Had she put it on her head, a fist-fight between goblins would have ensued over possession of the hat. This way, she could just reach out and pat it.

"Gob clever" she muttered, as none of her companions noticed that she was frequently touching it.

No donkey's ears or deer's horns were revealed by the absence of the hat on the witch's head. Just the messy top of her short black hair.

Several goblins had crowded around behind the witch. They had one obvious objective. From that angle, it could only be one thing. The witch was kneeling, so of course the goblins were trying to steal her boots.

The goblins pointed and muttered about the footwear, as if they were a serious war council. While they convened, a few goblins dancing in front of the witch stopped, a thought collectively entering their skulls.

On crouched before the witch.

"Neigh!" He called out.

1/?

>>5635720
That goblin was struck on the head and pulled back by the others.

"Nei-now gob almost got gob doing it!" "Unicorns!" "Horny horses!" "Yes, yes" "Where be they"

A listless stare was all they got, but just when it seemed there would be no reply, the witch's head tilted so much that it looked like her neck would break. A smile creepy enough that it even gave the goblins a moment's pause spread across her face.

"Hey Hiddle de giddice, wandering mice, turn now into dice!"

The six closest goblins burst into golden motes, dying instantly. Where they once were six dice lay but on the sides instead of pips were cute carvings of mice curled around pointer fingerbones. Well, the mouse part of the carvings were cute at least.

The boot stealing goblins had been in the process of easing the boots off feet when this happened. Around six had been doing the work, and when it happened the witches magic began to snake around them too. Perhaps it was unconscious defence?

They too were transforming, silvery light outlined them for a moment pausing the magic. One goblin heroically pulled one of the boots fully off before the light melted away and all six goblins faded into golden motes as the transforming magicks killed them. In their place wasn't dice, but little statues of mice, green, blue, yellow each according to the skin of the goblin. The statues had deep grooves cut into them. They stuck together in spite of looking like they were cut into pieces.

Diced mice.

After their momentary fear faded, they simply added the boot, mouse dice and diced mice to the pile of treasures on the bed.

Just as they finished up, there was a loud crash, the goblins defiling the trees had actually knocked one down! It wasn't a very big tree and it had reacted badly to the changes, but still, a tree was a tree.

With a grand cheer, the goblins clustered around it, ripping off branches to keep as clubs! Most of the others also took the chance to stuff leaves into pouches, loincloths, clumps of fur, tails or really just about anywhere that could comfortably hold them. Quite a few just ate a load of leaves, not understanding that they would not be getting them back from that.

Small brawls would break out when a goblin was a little too smug about the quality of their club or leaves.

In sort order, there was little more than a log left, which the goblins added to the bed, prompting complaints from the bearers. A few more goblins joined the bearers and the whole band marched happily away in a random direction.

All that was left behind was ruin and a hatless witch with only one boot.

"Throw a die, follow a die, die"

One might have assumed planning and malicious intent, but she was still shocked and unaware she'd been made even more miserable.

By the time the goblins had come down from their cheery high, night had fallen, making the forest even darker.

2/?

>>5635722
Hiddledink the Mad Enchanted Forest looked even more enchanted with stray moonbeams casting strange shadows. It had gotten a lot creepier, with hoots growls and gibbers in the distance. Things were moving about just out of sight and eyes were sometimes seen leering at the goblins. There was a long drawn out not quite human shriek that called out now and again, it was particularly unsettling. It and the fog horn-like bellow were the worst really.

Not being forest goblins, but goblins that lived alongside their King himself they were getting a little unsettled.

"Look, cave ahead" someone cried out.

The goblins saw it, dark and foreboding, but the confines of a cave seemed much more attractive than the mystery of the rustling branches. The goblins sped up and went directly inside.

The glow of moss, fern and fungi revealed a cave not overly large, just deep enough to forgot the forest was out there. There was quite a number of gnawed bones, but the goblins didn't have the presence of mind to worry about that. A few even picked up a bone or two to chew on.

Having found itself in the cave the goblin band...

Trials of Fate
>Enough rest, follow dice. (Major trial due to nighttime, Automatic success, but roll must still be made to determine goblin deaths)
>Everyone on bed! (Sleep till dawn, minor trial)
>Goblin magic wards!
>Bad feelings! (Flee wildly in the night, Major trial)

Trials of Talent
>Watchings! (Goblins will take turns standing guard)
>Trappings! (Goblins set traps)
>Hide under bed! (Major trial)
>Goblinfort? (Uses up tree trunk, clubs and bones, even on failure)

>GOBLIN KING'S MOOD: 218 Bad!
>Readjusting the mood, sub 300 will be a bad mood, sub 200 a foul. Bad moods will prompt minor spicing when hit twice or on a foul or black, the minor spicing will give +50 to the next roll.
The Goblin King can quite place his finger on it, but his enjoyment of the witch's plight faded as he remembered countless other similar cases.

>>5635116
>These are more fae goblins than rape and murder goblins.
I actually like how this is, it's fun.

>>5635729
>Watchings! (Goblins will take turns standing guard)

>>5635729
>Trappings! (Goblins set traps)

>>5635729
>>Everyone on bed! (Sleep till dawn, minor trial)
Bed time!
I imagine they'll fight over who gets the privilege of sleeping in the vomit.

Rolled 1, 5 = 6 (2d6)

>>5635736
Roll 15d6

>>5635764
Roll 15d6

>>5635833
Roll 15d6

Rolled 4, 4, 5, 5, 5, 2, 3, 4, 4, 1, 5, 4, 6, 3, 3 = 58 (15d6)

>>5636118