OH SHIT NIGGA You are Agent No Name. You are a faceless Galactic Empire Operative. The crown princess has been captured by the rebels!After various shenanigans, trials and tribulations, you managed to infiltrate the Rebel HQ with your crew, only to find no princess! You're also ambushed by the Rebel Commander on a bigass mech.shieeeeeeeeeet
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5563980Looks like we have to deal with two different bosses
>>5563989
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5564001Annnd you get a kick in the face
>>5564006
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5564011"not again""hey other princess, why did you help the rebellion"
>>5564016Ah shit she's gone!
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5564023At least we have the mech, which is totally safe and secured.We think.
>>5564026Of course. It's still up on your flagship.In the middle of the rebel counterattack
>>5564031I have a plan.Divebomb the ship into the rebel mech.Crashing this ship, with no survivors!
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5564031>>5564035Roll forgot.
>>5564037"Are you sure No Name?!"
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5564043>"Yes."Nuke it from orbit, its the only way to be sure.
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5564043I mean, just drop actual nukes from orbit. Ships aren't cheap.
>>5564045"Oh okay that makes more sense. Thought you were asking us to crash right into it"
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5564052>"No no, you were right the first time. I was just using an analogy from a film I like. Ram the whole ship straight into the fuckers.
>>5564058distressed skeleton noise
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5564061The hardest of choices, require the strongest of wills. And bones.Do it.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5564061Skeleton revolt imminent.
>>5564064"Right. Just crash the entire ship with the crew onboard. Down at the enemy super mech. Which is also currently on your location right now too"
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5564072>"Did I fucking stutter?"
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5564072Someone kicks No Name in the head for suggesting that
>>5564075"Copy that...."
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5564083I think we need the ship's doctor to declare insanity.
>>5564086
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5564091"No Name is repeatedly being kicked in the head while the others are just watching."
>>5564094
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5564113"Why his head specifically?""Probably thinks he's one of the clones in different armour"
>>5564119That aside. While No Name is getting his ass (or more specifically, head) kicked. The others gotta deal with the mecha outside
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5564130Looks like we have to do a break in to the mech
>>5564132"Interesting plan"
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5564140We can't exactly get back to the ship and asking the ship to release the mech is risky at best
>>5564141"Good point Joseph, let's---""OR You could call your dragon! And fly back to the ship! It'll even distract the mech! C'mon it'd be so cool!"
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5564144You just want to ride his dragon
>>5564147"shush"
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5564149why not just use the dragon as the distraction to break inalso we do have a perfectly servicable dragon mech now
>>5564152"Perfectly serviceable...Yes......whoops"
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5564159dragon witch mourns while rest discuss whether to ask the ship to move closer (not crash)including the knights
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5564159It just needs some elbow grease and spittle. It's still perfectly serviceable.
>>5564163You complete and utter idiot.What this clearly needs is duct tape and lots of it
>>5564162"Right so, we could tell the ship to get closer. That'd help to provide fire support and even deploy our own mech""Dragon Witch also do have a point, Luke's dragon could also help with distraction an----the fuck"
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5564173"Look we didn't know they moved the princess, she didn't even tell us"
>>5564174Hmmm yes. Cool. They're still a bunch of rebels tho. Clearly they're gonna relay your plan to the rest of the rebel scum. Quickly Joseph, do what must be done:A. Introduce their necks to your power axeB. Pull out shotgunC. Give them a 5 second head startD. Dunno guys, maybe they're onto sumthinE. Bunny Suit
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5564177C, D and E"Joseph, why the photos-""I LIKE IT OK"
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5564177A then D once they're gone... A good ideas a good idea.
>>5564179"You have 5 seconds""Wait what""5 seconds to do what?!""...4""??????"
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5564187"LOOK THE PRINCESS HERSELF PUT US KNIGHTS UP TO IT WE'RE SORRY, JUST ASK LILLY SHE KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON"
>>5564188"...3""GOOD GOD MAN WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ELSE"
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5564189"..2""GUSTAVE WAKE UP THERE'S A MASKED MAN IN A BUNNY SUIT AND HE'S GOING TO FLEX HEEEEEELP"
>>5564191Gustavo wakes up from his Luke induced coma. Seeing that a large muscular masked man in a bunny suit slowly approaching.Immediately goes back to sleep
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5564198Twinkle bursts in with the younger princess on hearing "bunny suit"
>>5564199Upon seeing WHO was in said bunny suit.Twinkle immediately dies
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5564211Wait, if the princess is part of the rebellion and they work FOR the princess, do they count as rebels? I mean they work for the imperial heir
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5564211>>5564212Did the princess plan her own kidnapping?
>>5564214>>5564212Before you can discuss this further, as if on cue, the mecha rains down suppressing fire
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5564216Princess! Get down here this instant! We're going home!
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5564216>>5564217Ah yeah, the mech.Does anyone want to be bait while we prepare the dragon
>>5564217Whoever's piloting the mecha, they doesn't respond, just kept firing, forcing the team into cover."This aint good, Luke. Also, I put my regular armor back on, over""...I appreciate that, over"
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5564221>>5564219"I think the mech shoots like a WOMAN"
>>5564222Gasp.And who said it? Who volunteered to be bait?
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5564223Who cares, it's time for Titan Fall. Drop the Superweapon Mech and No-Name's personal mech from orbit.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5564223Randy the Drunken skeleton!?
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5564223it's the bloody weeb
>>5564225RANDY NO! DON'T BE A HERO!
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5564228Use him as a distraction to allow for dragon witch and dragon to be another distraction so we can get ship closer, which would distract them from our mech!
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5564228Quick, try to get into the mech before randy blasted into bone dust.
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5564230The dragon mech lives again! Which is just the Dragon Witch grabbing on to it and using her Dragon Magic to carry it around through the air! Surely this will distract the rebel mech!Roll 1d100
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5564233Oh no
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5564233The dragon is annihilated.
>>5564233>>5564234Oh Yeah
>>5564234"Joseph! The rebel mech is distracted! Let's go!"
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5564238It's time, Titanfall!
>>5564240
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5564243Joseph and Luke get in while Lilly decides to fight the Commander
>>5564246
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5564256Subdue the mech, princess must remain unhurt!
>>5564259The mecha battle commences.....next time. When thread continues. I uh, gotta go for now. Toodles.updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
bread
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5565232Coma dream of no name
>>5565234Poof
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>5565236Imagine some companions
>>5565245Generating companion. It's...it's...!
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5565252A lot of skeletons.You did not pay enough money for the unique companion upgrade
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5565252quattro
>>5565256Damnit. This is why you shouldn't forget your dream payments
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5565264imagine a cool looking rock
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5565264>>5565263
>>5565267
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5565270>>5565269Quattro comes to offer beer for everyoneBy flooding the dream with beer
>>5565275Sadly Quattro counts as an unique NPC. He is not available unless you buy the DLC
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5565284Give the dream gods a 2 dollar bill (USD) in exchange for Quattro
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5565284They actually pay you for "buying " QUATTRO
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5565284Tap into the forbidden powers of redeco and generate an army of unique skeletons by simply giving them different colors and markings
>>5565287"Wait. Really? Damn. What's wrong with you? Is your life going okay?"
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5565294>"No.">"Now gimmie."
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5565294I would like a Bobby NPC on top of this
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5565294"Oh yes of course" The 2 dollar bill (USD) is actually counterfeit
>>5565299"All this trouble. For quattro? Damn"Blank stare of dissapointment
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5565301Now use the dream powers to make Quattro's counter-attack REAL
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5565301>Blank stare of dissapointmentJust like dadAnyway Quattro cameo time
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5565301>>5565297>>5565303>>5565305
>>5565303>>5565305>>5565306"Everyone! So that we may forge our own path and establish a government for the chillsaders!. I ask you, lend me your great strength for just a little while longer! When we've succeeded, Shotasniffer can go eat a dick!"
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5565309Oh gee wizz I sure hope Shotasniffer in a scandalously sensual outfit doesn't appear to stop this
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5565309>Shotasniffer can go eat a dick!"Poor choice of words Quattro...
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5565309>>5565311DEATH TO QUATTRO
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5565309shoot him with a gun
>>5565312Chillsaders Little Boys are in grave danger
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5565317>>5565315>>5565313
>>5565318Sadly you have not paid for that DLC yet
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5565317>Takes the bullet meant for Quattro
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5565319Sudden flood of beer
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5565319Visualize enough FIAT currency to purchase the DownLoadable Content
>>5565326
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5565338It starts leaking into reality
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5565338"Is the beer working""He's waking up"
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5565338Gay beer.
>>5565339
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5565353"Sorry, we needed to revive like everyone unconscious and beer was the best way"
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5565353Everyone gets the drunk debuff as dream No Name swims away
>>5565356"yyyeaaah....imma swiiimmm awaaayyyyy""Is it working?""dunno, keep pouring"
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5565361Hey Gustave, we need your holy drink or something, No Name's not waking up
>>5565363Gustaf has decided to not wake up. In fear of encountering another huge muscular man in a bunny suit
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5565368Take the holy drink from him
>>5565371It's gotta be around here somewhere
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5565378wake up twinkle while you're at it
>>5565379Anon. Twinkle's dead. You have to let it go
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5565381A GIRL IS IN TROUBLE
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5565381Hover some yuri doujin in front of the grave
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5565381Mech fight!
>>5565382NO YOU FOOL!
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5565386AWAKEN MY MASTERS
>>5565388THE LESBIAN HAS AWAKENED
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5565396Meanwhile weeb is still fucking dead
>>5565397Good thing nobody misses him
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5565398Mecha fight, go!
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5565398>>5565399NOOO THE BUDGET
>>5565399
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5565402that cockpit mech driver must be a woman to stomp on his grave
>>5565403gasp
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5565408Beat up women, sigma grindset.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5565408>>5565411true sigma
>>5565413"READY TO ENGAGE WOMAN BEATING"
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5565416I hate women so much!
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>5565416By my authority, beat up women! Engage mega fist!
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5565416WOMEN HAHA.
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5565418ROLL 1D100 TO ENGAGE THE RAMPANT MISOGYNY FIST
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5565425IT IS TIME!
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5565425Punch in stomach for misogyny points
>>5565426FUCK
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5565433OP you massive rigger you just don't want to be CANCELLED
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5565433Rigger Nigger detected. Rewind time and use the winning dice roll.
>>5565435Thread didn't update until I post, I assure you. I never saw that roll. Trust me
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5565437Throw shoes at OP until he stops being a filthy dice rigger.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5565437Clearly he doesn't want to be cancelled on twitter when he becomes an TWITTER ARTIST
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>5565439>>5565440Roll 1d100 to throw shoe at OP
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5565444HEADS UP
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5565444Destroy this man like George Bush destroyed the Twin Towers!
>>5565445>>5565446
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5565447Back to our regular misogynist programming, sponsered by Lolisniffer Industries
>>5565450ENGAGING MISOGYNY CANNONS
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5565452MEN'S RIGHTS TO HER FACE
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5565453FIREEEEEEEEEvia rolling 1d100
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5565455
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5565455Watch those wrist rockets!
>>5565457The enemy pulls up its shoulder shield to block! But the blast was too strong and launched it into a nearby mountain!
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5565462CLEARLY IT'S THE WOMAN'S FAULT
>>5565465"Damn Joseph, where is this coming from"
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5565469His experience with women
>>5565471"ah shit really"
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5565474When your partner-in-crime is Dragon Witch
>>5565475"DAMN....She can't be that bad can she?"
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5565476Bruh she tried to burn down the bridge of ST-100 for literally no reason.
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5565476>>5565478Joseph goes on an unhinged rant about the matriarchy, how WOMEN can't understand how Shotasniffer is cool, and Dragon Witch keeping on forcing her fetish on everything
>>5565478>>5565480"hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5565481Clear case of trauma
>>5565482Joseph continues his unhinged rant about women and how having to sleep with one eye opened lest your get burned in dragonfire is a terrible way to live
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5565484"Hey, does your friend has trauma?"
>>5565488"Yes...just uh...give him a moment"
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5565491It was all a ruse so Joseph could activate more wrist rockets!
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5565491"Look, I'm not even interested in continuing the battle anymore, it's was suggested by the princess that I go ride the mech"
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5565492"Son of a bitch"
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5565496Badabing Badaboom.
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5565496Pilot face reveal as the rockets breaks the cockpit
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5565497The rockets hit! The enemy pilot will try to shoot back!
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5565500The enemy pilot sucks ass.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5565500MISS - in super robot wars style
>>5565503
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5565506Follow-up haymaker!
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5565506Imagine the enemy mech is women and beat the shit out of it.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5565506Women moment.
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5565508
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5565517RIP IT OFF
>>5565518
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5565523"PRINCESS, OPEN YOUR-""I'm not the princess, I'm the one who gave you that mech."
>>5565524
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5565529Come on, a mech given to you and you didn't use it well until I had to make you use it?
>>5565530"Yeah but that's because we didn't use it period""Combat on foot is more of our style"
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5565534"Yeah, the princess said the same thing too before she decided to dress up as the Rebel Commander."
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5565534Suddenly, the EYYYYY LMAOOOO war space fleet comes in for assistance.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5565537Mech insurance assistance
>>5565537"Oh hey ayy lmaos.""Are they here to help against the rebel fleet?""Welp hopefully not the other way around"
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5565547Ayyy, Would you like to buy mech insurance
>>5565548"It's veeeerrrryyyy cheap, lmao""the fuck"
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5565550They even try to sell it to the rebels
>>5565551"aaayyyyy lmao, ya look like you need insurance""huh?"
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5565553The clone ships just shoot them
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5565553Ayys are attacked by both the Rebel and Imperial fleet for interrupting the plot.
>>5565557"AAAAAAAAAAaaaayyyyy lmaaaooooooooooo"And so the Ayys are defeated. As quickly as they arrived. Rest in piss.Anyway OP gotta go now. Thread will continue later. When it continues. toodles.Updates be here:https://twitter.com/notapaladin
lmao
Op has been lost...
It's been a day or two and still no sign of OP...
>>5565561op pls
>>5570362
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5570368ayy
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5570368OP is a loser and failure to all.
>>5570372wow rude
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5570374get back to the part where we kill weeb for spreading his ideology to Joseph
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5570375>>5570374The weeb is already dead, watch Lilly fight the rebel commander 1v1 instead. Joseph has popcorn.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>5570374For delaying the quest 2 times 2 many I sentence OP to eternal drawslavery making funny quests instead of drawing vtubers
>>5570376kill him again just to make sure
>>5570376"Aw shit here we go"
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5570381So does the enemy pilot
>>5570382
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5570386LILLY DELIVERS A HAYMAKER WORTHY OF LOLISNIFFER!
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5570386>>5570387COME ON THAT WAS CLEARLY CHOREOGRAPHED
>>5570389BAH GAWD
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5570391IS IT ENOUGH TO REMOVE THE MASK
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5570392>>5570391IF WE PULL IT OFF, WILL THE REBEL COMMANDER DIE!?
>>5570393IT WOULD BE EXTREMELY PAINFUL
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5570394YOU'RE A BIG G__
>>55703954LILLY
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>5570399"HEY WOMAN BEATER"
>>5570400BAH GAWD IT'S TWINKLE WITH A STEEL CHAIR!
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5570406"LOOK OUT, SIS- UH, I MEAN MYSTERIOUS MASKED COMMANDER"
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5570406JOSEPH INTERCEPTS WITH A FOOT DIVE
>>5570408AH FUCK. THE COMMANDA DODGED
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5570416"WHO SAID THA- oh hi other princess"
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5570416LILLY GOT HIT WITH THE CHAIRGOOD LORD LILLY IS TRYING TO SUPLEX TWINKLE
>>5570419"BAH GAWD LILLY'S TAKING HER FRUSTRATION OUT ON TWINKLE!""THE LILLY (space) KNIGHT IS GETTING WRECKED OUT THERE!""WHY DOES SHE LOOK HAPPY"
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5570424"Cain, Abel.""Yes Gustave?""I need Twinkle's pills."
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5570424A ladder suddenly appears in the middle of Lilly, Twinkle and the Rebel Commander's fight. Hanging above the ladder is an important looking suitcase
>>5570429WHAT COULD IT CONTAIN?!
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5570431THE REBEL COMMANDER IS GOING FOR IT!
>>5570432"C'MON LILLY! GET UP THERE!"
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5570437Gustave is using the suitcase as bait
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>5570437TWINKLE IS IN THE GRAVE BUT HERE COMES NO NAME WITH HIS OWN STEPLADDER
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5570437>>5570440No Name's entrance theme is some shotasniffer songpeople are yelling "simp" as he goes in
>>5570440>>5570441"WHAT'S THIS?! THAT'S SHOTASNIFFER's "I'LL STEP ON U"! IS THAT NO NAME?!""WHAT'S THAT SIMP DOING HERE?!""HE'S GOING FOR THE SUITCASE TOO!"
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5570443>>5570438YOU IDIOT IT'S BAIT
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5570443BAH GAWD NO NAME'S USED THE STEP LADDER TO TURN HIS DOUBLE JUMP INTO A QUADRUPLE JUMP
>>5570446COULD THIS BE?!
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5570449HE GOT IT HE GOT IT"BOO! HISS!"
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5570449IT'S A FULL COLLECTION OF notapaladin's QUEST CHARACTER COLLECTIBLE CARDS
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5570449NO NAME GOT THE CASE. HE HAS WON REBELMANIA (current year)!HE'S OPENING THE CASE!
>>5570452
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5570458We've been betrayed! This was supposed to be the new limited edition Hero Shotasniffer card!
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5570458Gustave, who was using the briefcase as bait, faints again.
>>5570459"The hell happened there?""Dunno, No Name looked inside the case and then fainted"
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5570466Cain and Abel are the medics
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5570466Joseph - "Well let me take a look. It can't be that ba- OH NO! THE ONLY REMAINING REMNANT FROM MY MODELING CAREER!
>>5570468"Your whatnow?"
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5570471Quickly, destroy the evidence!
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5570471>>5570473"Joseph why are you calling an orbital bombardment on our position?"
>>5570419>>5570429>>5570452>>5570476Op did you accidently give me your rigged dice?
>>5570476"MATCH'S OVER. THIS IS AN EMERGENCY""My sister's still down there! It aint over yet! Gimme that""NO!""GIMME""NOOOOOOO"
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>5570482Luckily the picture was ripped in the scuffle
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5570482Down below:"Yep, that's a bunny suit alright.""Keeping it"
>>5570484"OH THANK GOD""Man, what's up with you today?...ST-100? This is Luke, cancel that bombardment, that was a mistake"
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5570488Dragon Witch is distributing copies to Lilly and the Rebel Commander
>>5570489And also to anybody present"....BOMB THEM. BOMB THEM NOW. RETURN THIS PLANET TO THE STONE AGE""CALM DOWN JOSEPH"
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5570496It was actually Dragon Witch's disgusting slashfanfiction of her x that dragon demigod guy from that civ quest
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5570496"I didn't even get these from the case, I just looked up Joseph on Empire Google and it was the first result, I have been waiting for a good opportunity to hand them out"
>>5570500"...LUKE WE NEED TO NUKE THE EMPIRENET"
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>5570514"Well I find him attractive"
>>5570515*record scratch*
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5570521"DID THE OTHER PRINCESS JUST SAY THAT THE BUNNY SUITED MASKED MAN WAS ATTRACTIVE"
Rolled 519 (1d1100)>>5570521Who in the world could possibly find Joseph attractive?
>>5570523Damnit I fucked up.
>>5570523>>5570525"Damn...Joseph check it out, that anon's dice is fucking huge""Holy shit"
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5570527arrested for dice crimes>>5570522>>5570523
>>5570529Please I beg of you don't arrest me.
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5570527laugh at him for making mistakes
>>5570532https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5CjmHLUQQI
>>5570530>>5570532
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5570534Anon has been completely annihilated.
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5570534>>5570535rip
>>5570535
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5570548>>5570522
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5570548Anyway, back to my favorite sitcom. We gotta find out who has a crush of Joseph
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5570548>>5570550What dis guy said.
>>5570555"Now Joseph. Who coulda had a crush on you?"*audience laughs""I know right? I heard Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder, but this is ridiculous!"*audience laughs even louder*
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5570574It's the young princess
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5570574Darn its a rerun, Let's skip ahead.
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5570574The Rebel Commander chokes on his own laughter
Rolled 35 + 1 (1d100 + 1)>>55705741. Its the young Princess2. Its the Rebel Commander3. Its Dragon Witch4. Its a random rebel5. Its a random skeleton6. All of the above
Rolled 4 (1d6)>>5570581messed up the d6 because I am very smart
>>5570582HEY LOOK! LOOK AT ANON! HE MESSES UP ROLLING A D6!
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5570583Point and laugh at him.
>>5570583NO! I CAN'T INTERNET STRANGERS MAKE FUN OF ME! MY EGO!
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5570587>>5570583Fucking loser.
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5570583>>5570583hahahahahaha
>>5570586>>5570587
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5570595At this rate we'll have no anons left at the end of the quest.
>>5570597BUt perhaps....the real anons were the friends we made along the way.
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5570601Back to main plot to find who his secret admirer is
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5570601Anyway let's get back to that sitcom>>5570578
>>5570607"HEY! IS THIS FUNNY TO YOU?! HUH? JOSEPH HAS BEEN MENTALLY DAMAGED TO THE POINT THAT A WOMEN FINDING HIM ATTRACTIVE IS UNTHINKABLE TO HIM AND YOU THINK IT'S HILARIOUS?"*laughing intensifies*
>>5570610YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE!!!
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5570610>>5570613Funny, could have sworn I put the dice in beforehand...
>>5570614>>5570613LOOK! ANOTHER ANON WHO FAILED AT ROLLING DICE
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5570616throw him with the others>>5570613
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5570616We've done this bit 3 times in the last hour.Just bury him and get back to the quest, no time for laughter
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5570616>>5570617>>5570619Man, fuck you guys.I roll to kill everyone then myself for this vicious cyberbullying ..>:(
>>5570617
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5570624>>5570576
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5570627
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5570624Back to the Rebel Commander laughing so hard he collapses.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5570624Who's paying for all these tombstones?Is the budget for tombstones really this big we can afford it for an entire anon graveyard?They don't come cheap you know.
>>5570628"what? ew""I just like beefy men in skintight outfits, sue me"
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>5570640"WAIT, SIS WAS THE ONE WHO FOUND HIM HOT?"
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5570640Cat fight between Dragon Witch and Reserve Princess to decide which one of them has the worst taste in men.
>>5570642As the two fight over this incredibly important title, OP realizes it's 3 AM and has to sleep. Shenanigans will continue later. Possibly around 11 PM on OP's side or something.updates n shit: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5570646Dragon Witch summons her stand "D4C" to fight the Reserve Princess. In response, the Reserve Princess summons her stand "Tusk Act 4" to kill funny va- I mean the Dragon WitchThen Jesus shows up.
Rolled 49005 (1d123456)>>5570646sleep good op. And be on time next time
Rolled 52, 83, 83, 47, 35, 86, 3, 13, 53, 90 = 545 (10d100)fuck
Rolled 1 (1d1)>>5570646Goodbye, See you next time.
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5570651>>5570684>>5570651Everyone fears the great dice massacre of 16/2
>>5570646OP is Supreme Gay x2
>>5571330Niggay
>>5570646now
>>5571575
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5571585we go back to the fight >>5570646everyone tries to not reveal their fetishes
>>5571587
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5571597The Skeleton Crew begin taking bets on the fight.
>>5571598Gambling is srs business, kids
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>5571611They all bet against Dragon Witch out of spite.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5571611The lilly knight has gotten herself involved for some reason
>>5571612"Damn you guys are ruthless. Is there really nobody who'd bet on Dragon Witch?"
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5571618"She's jealous of Shotasniffer, our great idol"
>>5571619
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5571622One brave hero steps forward to place his bet on the Witch.
>>5571623nani
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5571631WE HAVE SOMEONE WHO HATES SHOTASNIFFER HERE HUNT HIM DOWN
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5571631Enough of this nonsense, grab Princess by her ear and start looking for the second one
>>5571632The skeleton crew is driven into a frenzy and adds into the debacle
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5571644Alright, we need to find the older princess-"She's already here"
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5571644Luke, stop them, quest is nearing the climactic finale and our budget is stretched as it is, speaking of which I would like to thank our todays sponsor...
>>5571647...have you ever felt the need to do something. To complete a project. But have no knowledge how to do so? Well worry no more! With EmpireSpace you have access to the best skill-courses of pretty much everything you can think of! Art! Science! Cooking! Literature! Music! Genocide! Social Media! Everything is available! Use the code N0N4ME at EmpireSpace dot com slash promo for a first month free trial! Sign up today!
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5571650"HEY CHECK OUT THIS INCEST PICTURE OF LILLY AND HER BROTHER I MADE" - Weeb Knight
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5571650Right, now that's out of the way, Princess Junior, where is Princess Senior?
>>5571652"BEHOLD! THROUGH THE MARVEL OF MODERN SCIENCE I WAS HEALED FROM THE CRIPPLING BEATING LUKE GAVE ME! AND I HAVE USED THE TIME I'VE BEEN GIVEN TO MAKE THIS"
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5571660Bind him in shackles, we will be sent to scorpion hell planet later
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5571660"Why is everyone suddenly looking at me like that?">>5571662
>>5571663"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! A MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE!"
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5571677"Send him to the KPOP mines, where he will suffer for the rest of his life.""Wait why is the Rebel Commander suddenly ordering the skeletons to do that."
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5571677Now burn the pic and...where did we left off? Ah right second princess, ahem Princess Junior, where did your sister go again?
OP?
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5571677Release him into the wild (outer space)
>>5571708Op got space cancer and has passed away.
i fucking passed out in the middle of breadfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
>>5572058You have failed the thread for the last time OP, take him to the KPOP fields
>>5572058The bred is overcook.
>>5572063NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5572066Back to>>5571679>>5571678
>>5572067"Now, princess. Where's the other princess?"
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5572074"Definitely in the room"
>>5572077
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5572079Clearly she could be anywhere, the damsel in distress who is cowering, scared of her captors, and can't fight back"Uh."
>>5572089"You'd think so, No Name?"
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5572094Because the Princess was shown to be pretty fine the last thread she was in
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5572094"Uuuuh." - everyone else
>>5572097"No, that imperial operative....IS 100% CORRECT!""gasp!""THE PRINCESS IS INDEED COWERING! SCARED AND HELPLESS! SHE IS BEING HELD IN A SECRET CHAMBER THAT ONLY I KNOW THE LOCATION AND THE MEANS TO OPEN!" yelled the rebel commander
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5572106Beat the information out of him
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5572106"AND SHE IS SCARED THAT MEN ARE GOING TO TOUCH HER. AND SHE IS DEFINITELY NOT IN CHARGE OF THE REBELLION. AND SHE DEFINITELY DID NOT HIRE SOME KNIGHTS AND HER EMPIRE PERSONNEL AND HER OWN SISTER TO HELP HER."
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5572106Are you sure, I have a feeling that the Princess will be the final boss and >>5572111
>>5572117"MY GOD!""THAT'S WEIRDLY SPECIFIC"
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5572125Well, that explain some stuff with the head of the rebellion.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5572125>>5572129"YES, AND SHE IS JUST THERE, STARVING AND ABOUT TO BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF AND YOU CAN'T STOP-"Lilly removes the Rebel Commander's helmet.
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5572125Quick! take down the commander so we can free the helpless princess!
>>5572136"YES! THAT'S RIGHT! YOU HAVE TO DEFEAT ME TO SAVE THE PRINCESS!"
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5572164Beat him up (Smoking Sexy Style)
>>5572166
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5572175The others commentate
>>5572176"BAH GAWD this could go either way!""Luke can take it, he's got this""But Lilly, that Commander is pretty strong, you sure?"
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5572200Joseph and Luke get thrown into the commentary booth
>>5572204"AGH FUCK"...."Alright Luke, get back in there, you can take 'em""Got it""Heeeeyyyyy Joseph. Howyoudoin""uhhhh"
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5572217OH GOD THEY'RE ABOUT TO TAKE OFF NO NAME'S MASK
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5572217Joseph and Luke consign themselves to also commentating on the match
>>5572220
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>5572224>>5572218
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5572224No Name uses the only thrice completed bootheel reversal and engages in a stunning display of equal martial power causing the commentators and crowd to go wildLazy camerman OP forgets to move the camera away from the commentary booth
>>5572226"BAH GAWD! IT'S THE FABLED BOOT HEEL REVERSE DRAGON FLIP!""WHAT AN AMAZING DISPLAY OF ATHLETICISM!""THE REBEL COMMANDER COUNTERS WITH A DOUBLE TACO PHOENIX DRIVER LICENSE""NO NAME COUNTERS THE COUNTER WITH A 450 SCISSOR SPINE TUMBLER""THE REBEL COMMANDER GOT OUTTA THERE JUST IN TIME USING A CRUCIFIX HURRICANE JUMPING TRIPLE REVERSE FRONT FLIP""I HAVEN'T SEEN MOVES LIKE THIS SINCE EMPIREMANIA XLV!""SURE HOPE SOMEBODY'S RECORDING THIS"
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5572237BAH GAWD THE REBEL COMMANDER GOT HIM IN HER WORLD FAMOUS THIGH HEADLOCK
>>5572240"Wait""Her?"
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5572240No Name does a reversal and puts him in a headlock between her legs
>>5572249Her?
>>5572255>>5572249
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5572257UH LOOK THEY'RE BOTH IN THIGH HEADLOCKS FIRST ONE TO REMOVE THE HELMET WINS
>>5572259"BAH GAWD YOU'RE RIGHT, OTHER PRINCESS""WHO WILL GIVE IN FIRST?!"
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5572260Non Name's helmet is removed"HA I WIN NOW YOU-woah"
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5572260They both get popped off at the same time
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5572262"COULD IT BE?!"Well, could it?
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5572263It could :)
>>5572264
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5572268Get back to the fields *whip OP*
>>5572271
>>5572276Back to face reveals
>>5572284"What happened?""The cameras got wonky for a bit, I had to go fix em, did anything happen when I had my back turn?""I dunno, I had to bend down to tie my shoes""Right, oh hey, No Name and the Rebel Commander broke off from the mutual holds""Did their helmets fall off or something, they're holding off continuing the match to fix them"
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5572288No Name doesn't even know how to put it back on
>>5572292"Why's it reversed?""No Name never had to put his helmet on by himself it seems""What? Then what about the times his helmet got busted and had to be replaced?""Oh I put it back on for him"
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5572294In his blindness he starts attacking literally everything
>>5572296
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5572301Throw that guy over to that guy
>>5572302THER GOES THE ANNOUNCER TABLE! AGAIN!
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5572309Literally everyone gets involved in the fight, from Joseph, Luke, Dragon Witch, the Knights, Lilly, the Mech Pilot, the other princess...
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5572309That slam break No Name helmet revealing his face again and also >>5572313.
OP Gotta head out for a bit now. Be back in like 10 hours.Or 10 years, whichever applies. Toodles.https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5572316It is revealed in extremely dramatic fashion that Dragon Witch has been the princess this whole time!
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5572316>The Ayyyy Lmaooo war fleet has arrived.
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5572316It's time
delay eet, im trying to sleep
>>5572316See you in a decade
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5573396OP gets a cookie for showing up early (or a bonking for showing up late)
>>5573405
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5573411Now continue the showing of No Name and the Rebel Clone Command duking it out
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5573411>>5572313>>5572314>>5573415
>>5573415At least that's what No Name THINKS is happening. Due to the helmet being on backwards
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5573427>>5573418The fight is displayed as a cloud
>>5573429Absurd! How would No Name's helmet be broken, again! Unless he takes another hit to the hea---OH SHIT PILEDRIVER
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5573436LUKE NO
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5573436INFINITE REVERSALS
>>5573441The Fifth Rule...
>>5573441"NO NAME FLIPS AROUND AND PUTS HIS LEGS AROUND LUKE'S HEAD TO COUNTER WITH A HURRICANRANA""LUKE GRABS ONTO NO NAME'S BODY TO TRANSITION INTO A POWER BOMB!""NO NAME FLIPS OUTTA THERE TO PUT LUKE INTO AN DDT!""LUKE BREAKS THE HOLD AND FLIPS NO NAME OVER INTO THE PILEDRIVER AGAIN!""NO NAME FLIPS AROUND AND PUTS HIS LEGS AROUND LUKE'S HEAD TO COUNTER WITH A HURRICANRANA""LUKE GRABS ONTO NO NAME'S BODY TO TRANSITION INTO A POWER BOMB!""NO NAME FLIPS OUTTA THERE TO PUT LUKE INTO AN DDT!""LUKE BREAKS THE HOLD AND FLIPS NO NAME OVER INTO THE PILEDRIVER AGAIN!""NO NAME FLIPS AROUND AND PUTS HIS LEGS AROUND LUKE'S HEAD TO COUNTER WITH A HURRICANRANA""LUKE GRABS ONTO NO NAME'S BODY TO TRANSITION INTO A POWER BOMB!""NO NAME FLIPS OUTTA THERE TO PUT LUKE INTO AN DDT!""LUKE BREAKS THE HOLD AND FLIPS NO NAME OVER INTO THE PILEDRIVER AGAIN!""NO NAME FLIPS AROUND AND PUTS HIS LEGS AROUND LUKE'S HEAD TO COUNTER WITH A HURRICANRANA""LUKE GRABS ONTO NO NAME'S BODY TO TRANSITION INTO A POWER BOMB!""NO NAME FLIPS OUTTA THERE TO PUT LUKE INTO AN DDT!""LUKE BREAKS THE HOLD AND FLIPS NO NAME OVER INTO THE PILEDRIVER AGAIN!""NO NAME FLIPS AROUND AND PUTS HIS LEGS AROUND LUKE'S HEAD TO COUNTER WITH A HURRICANRANA"
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5573461They land in the booth(again) and everything gets caught in the cartoon kerfuffle cloud
>>5573469
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5573478Helmet breaks
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>5573478>>5573480ALL the helmets break
>>5573480>>5573483
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5573524Now you must give us all FANSERVICE
>>5573525Fan...service
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5573532HE'S GOING TO CROSSDRESS
>>5573539
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5573562The princess tries to get a piece of Joseph!
>>5573566
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5573570"Alright we're continuing the fi-why do you have a pretty boy anime face"
>>5573573"In what world does this count as a pretty boy anime face"
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5573586PRETTIER THAN MINE I'M UGLY
>>5573588
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5573610"Holy shit bishouens are my fetish" -Rebel Commander
>>5573626
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5573633Ok, that's it, you're definitely the Princess, no one is convinced anymore.
>>5573637"What? Me?! The princess?! impossible! She is currently being kept in a secret secured chamber, waiting for her shining hero to rescue her, I assure you"
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5573638"They ain't buying it, sis""I could literally tell by the fighting style""We all figured it out when we heard you were "kidnapped"."
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5573638"WHERE IS SHE?" violently shake the vile rebel commander
>>5573641"I'm kinda miffed that this somehow lead to my own sister being kidnapped" says Luke
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5573651"actually I joined up on my ow-""KIDNAPPED">>5573645No Name still believes this
>>5573655"Man, this royal family is full of weirdos. Good thing we're not like that right, Lilly"Meanwhile"WHERE IS SHE?"
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>5573661"Does he still not get it""I thought he would realize it when the rebel knights were the very ones hired by the Princess to protect her""I thought he would get it with that convenient rebel attack on my base"
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5573661No Name and Rebel Commander fightu! (again)
>>5573667Truly these rebels are devious, trying to confuse you with things like, words, and logic
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5573681TRULY THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING, EVEN THE CLONE REBELLION WAS PLANNED BY THEM TO ENDANGER THE PRINCESS"Wait, what clone rebellion?" - Rebel Commander
>>5573686"Oh yeah, don't worry about. The No Name clones had a glitch and went against orders."
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5573705"what-"ominous clone ship appears
>>5573710
>>5573723"Oh, also Bandit went rogue and took command of the clones"
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5573723>>5573728
>>5573729"But he's dead now so it's fine"
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5573749TRANSMISSION RECEIVEDBorf.
>>5573753"My god! You're alive!""bork""And you've gathered up your own clone army?!""borf""To take out both the rebellion and empire forces battling here, at Rebel HQ?!""bork bork"
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5573758why he do it
>>5573760"bor--"
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5573776Uhhh what just happened
>>5573777"There. Clone war's over"
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5573788Bandit didn't actually survive his first death
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5573788"Look can I get back to the fight with your attractive, hot face">>5573791
>>5573791"What?""Yeah that was a cloned dog. It doesn't matter anyway"
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5573794It was all a front by the dreadedTHIRD FACTION
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5573794>>5573792"You must defeat me to save the princess and her luscious, beautiful voice""uh"
>>5573798"YOU VILLAIN!"
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5573805"YES, A SINGING VOICE COMPARABLE TO SHOTASNIFFER. A VOICE SO MELODIOUS YOU WILL FAINT""uuuuuh" - everyone else
>>5573807"SO IF YOU WANT TO SAVE THE WONDERFUL, AMAZING AND SUPER COOL PRINCESS. YOU HAVE TO DEFEAT ME!""Damnit! C'mon guys, we need to work together!"
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5573811"Should we tell him""Nah we just motivate him to do it himself if it gets the princess to come back""He doesn't even know the princess has the hots for him"
>>5573813And we will resolve that.Later.I gotta go eat lunch, toodleshttps://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5573876What's a hones dice?
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5573876Arabic No-Name comes in to finish the fight
>>5573878
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5573880Now No Name fight the commander (again) (roll using hones dice)
Rolled 4328442 (1d10000000)>>5573888Roll 1d100 against the most honest of all de dicez
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>5573891:)
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5573891OP gets stoned for his crimes.
>>5573895
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5573896YOU CAN NOT ESCAPE THE JUDGMENT OF ALLAH, FILTHY DICE RIGGER!
>>5573897
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5573901>>5573891how about we get back to the story
>>5573902That's right! Time to rally the troops to take down the final boss!
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>5573904Use our bishounen charm to give the troops an inspiring SPEECH
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5573904No we must do this...........ALOOOOOOOONE
>>5573906That's right. You cannot put anymore of your friends into danger
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5573909Except we totally can! All Out Attack go!
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5573909WE NEED THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP
>>5573911That's right! We can get through this! Together!
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5573913COME ON LUKE, JOSEPH, DRAGON WTICHWE'LL TAKE DOWN THE REBEL COMMANDER
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5573913>>5573914Just "fight" already, Char
>>5573914
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5573917Now! By the power of Friendship, end this quest!
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5573917Guys?
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5573917NOW COME AS WE SALLY-No Name gets thrown to Princ- I mean Rebel Commander's feet
>>5573919"Hmmmm....well, you see, No Name..."A. Luke gives him a pep-talk to motivate the Operative to finish the fightB. Luke agrees to the friendship speech and gets others to join the battleC. Sausage trivia
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5573923A and CAnd D. Luke throws No Name to the Rebel Commander's feet
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5573923B. Power of friendship babyyyy
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5573923A
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5573923>B. Luke agrees to the friendship speech and gets others to join the battleWhat type of ending would it be without more Friendship?
>>5573926"No Name, this is something you have to do yourself. You brought us all here, time to show everyone your power. I believe in you. Go forth and finish the fight.""But why?""....uhhhhh, Joseph has unresolved trauma, Dragon Witch's gonna try to fix it""But that wouldn't help! And what about you?""I uh, need to keep an eye on them, yeah""But..but...the power of friendship!""We are all behind you, don't you worry...in spirit.""But""It is the way of these things, No Name.""Are you sure they wouldn't be any convenient plot shenanigans that'd force you to join the fight""don't jinx it"
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5573931"Also, did you know vegan sausages are the most cursed food known to Man?"
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5573932>>5573931The rebel commander is aggressively eating a vegan sausage infront of Luke.
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5573931It's time to live up to my family name and face NO NAME CONSEQUENCES
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5573931"He's going to get slaughtered"
>>5573932*unprompted unhinged rant against vegans*
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5573936"Now GO, GO AND TAKE THE REBERL COMMANDER ON!""Hey Luke, we're taking bets on No Name vs the Princess""5000 on Princess"
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5573936No Name Commander fight now
>>5573938*unhinged rant on gambling*
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5573949Fight already
>>5573951Unhinged rant about plot progression
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5573955Everyone throws No Name to the Commander, who is breathing heavily
>>5573956"HHHhhhhRrrrrmmmmm......so, you are the only one who stepped up"
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5573962clearly he's doing his best darth vader impressionignore the drool coming out of him
>>5573966
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5573968Stand and declare who you are, what you fight for and your simping for Shotasniffer
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5573968Throw something at him!
>>5573973Alright, let's see what you can throw....a rock. another rock. Some pebbles...or the grenades you had in your coat
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>5573974I don't like how smug the rock on the left is, throw him
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5573974HmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmThrow everything
>>5573975>mfw anon thinks he can throw me
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5573978That right rock is feeling pretty happy, I don't like it
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5573978Fucking watch me
>>5573980>be me>wake up>still a rock>don't have to worry about anythingLife's good
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5573984>>5573978Throw both to stick it to them
>>5573985>our faces when
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5573994You got something smart to greentext, PEBBLE!?
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5573994>yfw OP took 30 minutes to copy and paste rocks
>>5573995>>5573996>mfw OP took 30 minutes to copy and paste rocks
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5573999THROW ALL OF THEM
>>5574000>mfw trips>mfw OP still hasn't drawn anything new for over an hour>
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5574003>Everyone looks at No Name with concern as they scream at rocks
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5574003>>5574004>No Name screams at dice as well
>>5574004
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5574007AHA, rebel leader and totally not princess is within striking distance!Hit him!
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5574008>mfw the rebel commander and totally not the princess is in striking distance>mfw No Name cant take his meds to stop talking to rocks>mfw she probably can't even beat my dice
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5574010>mfw the hit fells the rebel leader in one blow
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5574010AAARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH
>>5574011>>5574014>mon visage quand
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5574015WHY, WHY DO YOU HAVE THREE EYES!?
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5574015>>5574016>tfw the guy who's supposed to hit the princess is talking to rocks>tfw you are just watching with popcorn and beer
>>5574016>>5574018>tfw the same guy can't take his meds>tfw he attempts a sneak attack and failed like a bitch
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5574020Take a deep breath and compose yourself, schizophrenia can't stand in the way of PATRIOTISM
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5574020>>5574021FOR SHOTASNIFFER-I MEAN THE EMPIRE
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5574021>mfw anon doesn't take his meds
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5574023
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5574023wheeze
>>5574024>>5574027>mfw I'm blocking the roll
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5574033>mfw OP is delaying because he doesn't want the quest to end because then he'll have to make Quattro Quest
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5574033That's it, I'm telling on you to the communist overlords!
>>5574035
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5574041Poke
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5574041Back to the fight where we defeat the rebel commander with a single rock throw
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5574041hey OPyou do know that Quattro's counter attack is next rightget on with the fucking story
>>5574044
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5574057>>5574045>>5574051
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5574057OP DO THE STORY
>>5574060Right. FInally. No Name stopped talking to rocks
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5574064speaking of rocks, throw a rock at the commander's face
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5574064Poke
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5574064Instead he goes on an unhinged rant towards the princess.
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5574064>>5574068While jump attack the "rebel commander" with the rock
>>5574067THE SECRET OPERATIVE FINGER POKE OF DOOM!FUCK
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5574077fucking get it together nonameget angryget serious mode angry
>>5574078"YEAH GET HYPED NO NAME"
>>5574086Toss noname a sausage to power up
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5574086>The Ayyyyyy Lmao war armada shows up.
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>5574086I CAN DO IT WITH THE POWER OF MY FRIENDS SUPPORTING"hey Luke the Knights are asking for more bratwurst"
>>5574088"FUCK OFF AYYS WE'RE BUSY"
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5574091Overhead kick!
>>5574092
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5574099Triple reverse quantum punch!
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5574099>>5574089
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5574099Second leg!
>>5574105"You can do it no name! I believe in youuu"
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5574122Can he do it?
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5574122It boosted No Name morale and try to knock out "rebel commander" mask,
>>5574131OH SHIEEEEEEEEEET
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5574142WITH THE POWER OF HIS FIST NO NAME TAKES OF THE REBEL COMMANDER'S MASK IN ONE BLOW(princess dodged and used that opportunity to throw her mask away and fake being defeated)
>>5574145"oOhhoooo nooooooo, i got punched so hard I'm gonna fall into this convenient cliff, nnooooo"
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5574152Scar, my brother! Help me!
>>5574158
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5574161QUICK NO NAME, FOLLOW HIM INTO THIS CONVENIENT JAIL
>>5574167"LOOK! HE'S RUNNING INTO A HIDDEN JAIL IN THE CLIFFSIDE! FOLLOW HIM!"
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5574176"CHASE HIM NO NAME, CHASE HIM TO SAVE THE PRINCESS...ok so back to my TED talk on sausages for the rest of you"
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5574176Ayyyyy Lmaoooo.
>>5574179nice
>>5574179"Right. Good luck, No name. Anyway...ancient poets have mentioned sausages in their works, some even wrote plays where the subject matter were sausages. This suggest that the sausage has existed and is popular amongst the ancient peoples and tribes....""Fascinating""...are we SURE he can't go with No Name?"
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5574202"WELL I THINK VEGAN SAUSAGES ARE THE BEST" - Weeb Knight
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5574202Gustaf has snuck off to stand between No-Name and the Princess one final time.
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>5574202Now back to trying to rescue the Princess from falling from a cliffhanger.
>>5574205"WAIT WAIT WAIT W_---"
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>5574217Ayyyyy lmaooooo.
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5574213The "Weeb" say it was a joke and Luke sausages taste pretty good,>>5574213
>>5574223Too little too late for the weeb"...Lost my cool for a bit there."
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>5574231Anyway everyone is following No Name for "support"The real princess was the friends we made along the way
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>5574231Oh well, I was gonna dump him into Scorpion Hell Planet anyways, now back to the chase!
>>5574236"Maybe....you guys are my princess"
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5574243LOOK NO NAME, THE JAIL CELL DOOR IS CONVENIENTLY OPEN, THE FIEND MUST HAVE WENT THERE
>>5574244
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5574249HMMMMMMMMMMM
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5574249"BUT WHAT IF IT IS A TRAP"Everyone else is getting angry for some reason
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5574249Scout it out and take a peek into the jail cell
>>5574252"Careful now"
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5574260Nah, just strut in there. Nothing bad will happen.
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5574260>>5574262>>5574254
>>5574262"Don't worry, we'll be right behind you"
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5574276Strut it, Agent No-Name!
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5574276Hey Joseph, bet'cha won't suicidally charge right into an obvious trap
>>5574279
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5574286Go on, prove me wrong
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5574286>>5574254
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5574287Let's go Joseph! You ain't no pansy!
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5574292Oh no
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5574292HE GETS KICK IN THE FACE"OH NO, I AM TIED UP AND IN MY UNDERGARMENTS, I SURE HOPE NO BISHOUEN WOULD COME IN AND TAKE ADVANTAGE"
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5574292Death approaches.
>>5574296A SNEAK ATTACK! JOSEPH IS SLASHED ACROSS THE BACK! WHO COULD HAVE DONE SUCH A VILE THING?!
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5574309"YOU'RE MINE NOW JOSEPH!""NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo"
>>5574311IMPOSSIBLE! Surely it cannot be the younger princess! It gotta be A. Gustaf, having snuck off to stand between No-Name (and pals) and the Princess one final time.B. Ayy LmaoC. Some guy from Joseph's personal backstory and questlineD. Actually the younger princessE. Joseph's brother....Broseph. BUT EVILF. No Name?!G. this space for rent
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5574322A and D. While Joseph is being dragged off by the younger Princess, Gustaf has buffed himself in preparation for one final combat.
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5574322>>5574325GUSTAF CAN YOU GO THE FUCK AWAY
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5574322G
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5574322F
>>5574325DUN DUN
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5574361"NOW, NO NAME PROVE YOURSELF TO BE-""GUSTAF YOU FUCK BEHIND YOU"
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5574361What is your problem, man?
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>5574361Ayyyyyy lmaoooooooo
>>5574368
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5574371>>5574364
>>5574373"BEHIND ME?....THAT'S RIGHT, FUCK THE AYYs""AAAAAaaayyyyy lmaooooooo---"
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5574378Very good, very good. Without the retarded aliens we can finally engage in honorable combat!
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5574378>>5574379Gustave suddenly gets grabbed by something from the door
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5574378Bloody vermin coming out of the fucking woodwork...right uhhh...can you do the duel later? We're kinda in the middle of something and if you don't I'll tell on you to the Space Pope!
>>5574379"THAT BASTARD! HE MUST BE THE REBEL'S FINAL LINE OF DEFENSE! SEEING AS....what happened to the rebel commander again?""Uh...Probably died from his...."wounds"..falling down into this secret prison""HE MUST BE THE REBEL'S FINAL LINE OF DEFENSE! SEEING AS THE COMMANDER CLEARLY DIED FROM HIS WOUNDS FROM OUR EPIC BATTLE!"
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5574389"YES I AM THE LAST LINE OF DEFENSE AND YOU MUST FIGHT ME"*furious noises from the door*
>>5574393"...What's making all that racket?...Damnit, get outta here, cliffcrawler"
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5574403Give the cliffcrawler a snack.
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>5574403>>5574406Why are you mean to cliffcrawlers Gustave?
>>5574406
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>5574403Cliffcrawlers are just misunderstood space racoons.
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5574411Now kill it.
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5574411Truly a great creaturePunch Gustave
>>5574419
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5574427STANDING HERE, I REALIZE
>>5574430
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>5574438"YOU CANNOT BEAT ME, YOU ARE NOT WORTHY-"a picture of joseph appears
>>5574443
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5574451It's Joseph flexing in a speedo
>>5574455Don't be silly, it's just him posing for a photo
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>5574467wait a minute, that hat...
>>5574471That's right....it's definitely one of the hats of all time
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5574489It look dumb.>:(
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5574489Back to the fight already.
>>5574492Wow that's pretty mean. What did the hat ever do to you?
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5574494"it left me"vampire hunting...those were the days
>>5574501Anon is overwhelmed by sadness and nostalgia
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5574505>Anon has a mental breakdown, and contemplates how easy it was to have fun as a child in comparison to the now stoic and depressing view that his adulthood offers.
>>5574509
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>5574521And now we'll never reach the end, no thanks to Gustaf and his insistence on a duel
>>5574527Which means....QUATTRO'S COUNTER ATTACK NEVER YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>5574530This also means no Shotasniffer
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>5574530Pour a fat one out for my man Quattro.
>>5574534"So much grief from one photo. What other secrets could you hold? is there a hidden message? Or something on the back perhaps?"
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5574539Gustaf turns the photo front-to-backHe faints
