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Pick a name (real-life public figure, or fictional) and department. When a vote is relevant to your department, your vote counts 3x.

>Secretary of State
>Secretary of the Treasury
>Secretary of Defense
>Attorney General
>Secretary of the Interior
>Secretary of Agriculture
>Secretary of Commerce
>Secretary of Labor
>Secretary of Health and Human Services
>Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
>Secretary of Transportation
>Secretary of Energy
>Secretary of Education
>Secretary of Veterans Affairs
>Secretary of Homeland Security

You can make one assassination attempt per thread on another Cabinet member. Roll 1d100 for offense, 1d100 for defense, and best roll wins.

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>>5563475
>Kanye West
>Secretary of Education
posting in based thread

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>Mike Pence
>Secretary of Energy
Ready for duty.

>>5563475
>AOC
>Secretary of Education

In a stunning betrayal!

>>5563475
>Attorney General

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>>5563475
Yamano Mitsuha, Secretary of Commerce. I may look young, but not only have I read all of the Presidents books on business, but I've written my own interdimensional best seller on trade and economics. Allow me to manage the economy, and we'll Make America Rich Again.

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>>5563475
>Secretary of Defense
In like Flynn.

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>>5563475
>Khodarin 'The Mystical' Darkspire
>Secretary of Homeland Security

Mexicans and dissenters alike will know of your...displeasure, my lord!

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>>5563475
>King Sneed
>Secretary of Agriculture
Time to secure the american food balance

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>Ushiromiya Battler
>Attorney General

We'll prove every claim of the rebels as nothing more than fantasy and save America.

>>5563475

>Jared Kushner
>Secretary of the Treasury

The treasury shall be safe with me dear Goyim.

>>5563498
Surely he was hanged?

Rolled 5, 4, 6 = 15 (3d8)

>>5563906
>Surely he was hanged?
No. In this timeline I, Mike Pence, bolstered by the support of the Jan 6th peaceful protesters and the computer hacker, 4chan, overturn Joe Biden's dishonest election results. I then celebrated by electrocuting Nancy Pelosi on the front lawn of the White House with just my pure Christian rage manifesting itself from my fingertips as Shocking Grasp lvl 11. I don't even need to look at the roll because she has only had 1 hp for the last 20 years (thanks to her skills in necromancy and the thousands of baby foreskins she's eaten).

>>5563475
Goyim Shekelstein.
>Secretary of Commerce

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>>5563475
>Dr. Jack Bright
>Secretary of Housing and Urban Development

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>>5563475
>Jeffery Epstein
>Secretary of Trafficking.. Transportation
Remember the fun times we had, Donald

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>>5563475
>Secretary of State
>Caitlyn Jenner

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>>5563475
>Doreen Ford
>Secretary of Labor

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>>5563475
>>Secretary of the Interior
>>Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman

>>5563475
>Secretary of Veterans Affairs
>lily hoshikawa

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>>5564034
forgot pic

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>>5563475
>Hulk Hogan
>Secretary of Health and Human Services
Eat your vitamins and say your prayers, brother

>>5563475
The following departments are also opened:

>Trade Representative
>Director of National Intelligence
>Director of the Office of Management and Budget
>Director of the Office of Science and Technology Policy
>Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency
>Administrator of the Small Business Administration
>Director of the Office of Science and Technology Policy
>White House Chief of Staff
>Ambassador to the United Nations

>>5564155
I'll resign from my position and let AOC have it >>5563555

Then I switch to
>>Ambassador to the United Nations

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>>5564155
>>5563473
Hate-Monger (totally not Hitler, im case anyone asks) for White House Chief of Staff.

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The Cabinet of the United States:

>Secretary of State: Caitlyn Jenner
>Secretary of the Treasury: Jared Kushner
>Secretary of Defense: Michael Flynn
>Attorney General: Alex Jones, Ushiromiya Battler
>Secretary of the Interior: Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman
>Secretary of Agriculture: King Sneed
>Secretary of Commerce: Yamano Mitsuha, Goyim Shekelstein
>Secretary of Labor: Doreen Ford
>Secretary of Health and Human Services: Hulk Hogan
>Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Dr. Jack Bright
>Secretary of Transportation: Jeffrey Epstein
>Secretary of Energy: Mike Pence
>Secretary of Education: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
>Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Lily Hoshikawa
>Secretary of Homeland Security: Khodarin
>White House Chief of Staff: Hate-Monger
>Ambassador to the United Nations: Kanye West

Deep underground, in a secret bunker located under the tunnels of Washington D.C., Donald Trump is holding a meeting with you, his assistants and advisors. The room is wide, with metal sheets on the walls, and you're sitting at a round table of marble, lit bit a dim white light. Behind him, three TV screens shows various graphs about the stock market and other important data. Everyone here is equal. He believes in having a team that carries diverse political opinions so that you can brainstorm the best solutions to each problem. Strangely, many members of the Cabinet are Japanese citizens, who are speaking with a portable speech translator, and Jeffrey Epstein, who the public thought was dead, is actually the Secretary of Transportation.

Donald Trump reads a few statements from important foreign nations, and a private message he's received from Vladimir Putin.

>Statement from Justin Trudeau: We strongly condemn the unlawful election of Donald Trump and call for peaceful talks between both parties.
>Statement from Ursula von der Leyen: The current situation in the United States is completely unacceptable. We support the families of all Americans who have been affected by the revolution, in particular the minorities who are particularly vulnerable.
>Statement from Xi Jinping: We extend our congratulations to Donald Trump and wish him a successful term. We hope the current situation in the country will be peacefully resolved.
>Private message from Vladimir Putin: Hello, Donald. I see you're in trouble. I can send tactical support to deal with those pesky rebels. I'm only asking that you let me pick the Vice President.

"Let's deal with Vladimir first. What do you all think about his offer?"

Vote:
>Accept Putin's offer
>Decline Putin's offer [if you vote for this, please recommend someone else to be Vice President]

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QAnon displays on one screen a tarot card, which represents Joe Biden's expected next move. No one knows who QAnon is. He only ever sends cryptic messages through the computer.

>Death foretells the end of something dear to you and the arrival of something new to replace it. You must not try to stop this process, as it is natural and inevitable.

>>5564684
>Accept Putin's offer
We should focus on making a defensive pact with both China and Russia. That way, if someone decides to attack us, the strongest country in the world, they would also have to attack the second and third strongest countries at the same time.

>>5564684
>Reject Putin's Offer
>>Proposal: Dell Rusk
You can't trust a deal offered by a Slav. Just... Trust Hate-Monger on this one. I will not be elaborating further at this time.

>>5564684
>Decline Putin's offer [if you vote for this, please recommend someone else to be Vice President]
>Dell Rusk

We have no need for such interference, lord! The dissenters will be crushed in time. Mister Rusk has...the aptitude. Ahki-ki-ki-ki!

>>5564684
>>Decline Putin's offer [if you vote for this, please recommend someone else to be Vice President]
I'ma let you finish Putin, but Nick Fuentes is the best VP pick OF ALL TIME!!

>>Decline Putin's offer [if you vote for this, please recommend someone else to be Vice President]
>*electric sparks flying in all directions*
I am still VP and don't any of you forget it! Thou shalt have NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME!!!!
>eyes rolling backwards as Mike Pence levitates above the table, the lights flicker as his hatred for gays and troons (no offense, Bruce) drains the very electricity from the room's wiring.

>>5564878
Ahh! (Ducks under the table to avoid being hit by Mike Pence's electric sparks, then slowly gets back in my chair)
Uhh, it seems that everyone wants to decline Putin's offer, so I'm changing my stance on this matter to declining Putin's offer. Irregardless, my vision of a defensive alliance consisting of the United States, China, and Russia, the three most power countries in the world, still remains. Maybe some day ...

>>5564684
>Decline offer
>Mike Pence
Help is great, but I don't want any debt we can avoid.

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>>5565004
I have fucked up slightly, that's from me.

>>5564830
I'll also switch to Pence

>>5565004
>>5565005
>>5565011
>>5564878
Then we need a new Secretary of Energy, ja?

>>5564684
>Accept Putin's offer

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>>5564155
>Aldrich Ames
>Director of National Intelligence

>Reject Putin's offer
I would put forward Keith Howard as a candidate for VP.

>>5564684

>Accept Putin's offer

Even if he is not to be trusted better to have a weak VP that we could denounce as a Putin stooge later to put an end to this antisemitic regime.

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>>5564684
>Accept Putin's offer
We need to turn over a new leaf with Russia, and as apart of it, I’ll put my hate in the ring for VP.

I’m curious as to how the weighed voting will be processed.

>>5565993
>throw my hate into the ring
A man after my own heart if I had one

>>5564684
>Decline Putin's offer
>VP: Boris Johnson
The Guy may be British prime Minister, but he was BORN in America! He could totally be Vice President

White House Chief of Staff: >>5564773 (Reject -> Dell Rusk) 1
Secretary of Homeland Security >>5564788 (Reject -> Dell Rusk) 2

Ambassador to the United Nations: >>5565011 (Reject -> Mike Pence) 1
Secretary of Energy (MAYBE sitting VP??): >>5564878 (Reject -> Mike Pence) 2
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: >>5564929 (Reject -> Mike Pence) 3
Attorney General: >>5565004 (Reject -> Mike Pence) 4

Secretary of Commerce: >>5565131 (Reject -> Keith Howard) 1

Shadowy nameless mystery-cabal member with no formal title: >>5566885 (Reject -> Boris Johnson) 1

Secretary of Agriculture: >>5565046 (Accept) 1
Secretary of Defense: >>5565993 (Accept) 2
Secretary of the Treasury: >>5565650 (Accept) 3

So that's 7 (8? Who is 78/ZPkbg?) votes to reject the offer, three to accept. Mike Pence is the clear favourite among the Reject offer plurality. I'm not sure whose votes are tripled for this. Pence's own, maybe? Jenner's probably would be, if she was voting on this, but she has so far abstained...

>>5566980
I think the secretary of state would get triple votes in this matter of diplomacy.

If Q anon does not come back soon, anyone mind if I take over? I think it'll be fun to try running a shitpost.

>>5567660
You've got my vote, Shadow Don

>>5567693
And mine!

>>5567660
Go ahead, I'm busy fighting evil IRL.

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>>5568033
You're fighting your mother in law?

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>>5566980
Since this is a matter related to National Security, the Defense Secretary should be tripled.

>>5567660
I’ll support you as Vice President, sir! :^)

Putin’s Offer: DECLINED

Mike Pence is now VP!

Donald nods in agreement. “Well it’s decided. Mike, step up! Congratulations! You’re VP again. You can keep your cabinet position too, if you want. Now, we have a lot of problems before we can make America great again. A lot of problems. We have so many problems you wouldn’t believe it. We need to decide what to do about those problems. So what do you guys want to tackle first?

>Joe Biden. He’s still at large, hiding somewhere in the Appalachians. A third of the military support him, while a third support us. A third remains neutral. If we can get rid of him, we can get rid of a major threat and get back to making America great.

>The FBI is in open rebellion. It’s the only government department that’s completely gone over to Joe Biden. We can’t have our law enforcement working for a fake! We need to deal with them, or make a new law enforcement agency.

>The counter-revolutionary forces in some of the cities. They’re not a major threat now but they could quickly grow out of control and become the foundations of a wider civil insurrection. Better end them early before they become dangerous.

>The illegal immigrants pouring across the border. There’s too many of them, and our border guards can’t stop them coming! It’s the first step to making America great again. We need to build that wall, and make Mexico pay for it!

>The UN is complaining like a bunch of babies. We should teach them a lesson they’ll never forget. One they’ll never forget.

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>>5568197

[blue][You may also use the resources of your department to pursue your own agenda. You may also use it to support the current effort we all decide on. You cannot do both. You do not have to use these resources after a post, only vote. [/blue]

[blue]Your department, due to the situation, is also not at full capacity. Many members of the civil service have chosen to leave or work for Joe Biden. There may also be sabotage from people still around. You need to fix this if you want your department to work at full capacity. -30 to rolls against the enemies of Donald Trump. [/blue]

We also have the Secret Service available. They’ve mostly chosen to stay loyal to Donald. We can send them to deal with a situation, and with their expertise it will probably be dealt with. But if we lose them, that’s it, we can’t replace them! It will also leave Donald vulnerable while they’re away.

Director of National Intelligence [Aldrich Ames] Comment: Putin probably won’t like it that we’ve refused him. He might do anything to get back at us. Also it seems like Europe and Canada are in contact with Biden and are planning something. Kim-Jong Un also is making plans to visit, though he hasn’t announced them yet. We also have a major problem with our nukes. So far our missile bases and submarines haven’t decided to support either side, but that means that nobody’s in control of the country’s nukes. But Donald doesn’t care about that right now.

Current Cabinet of the United States:

>Secretary of State: Caitlyn Jenner
>Secretary of the Treasury: Jared Kushner
>Secretary of Defense: Michael Flynn
>Attorney General: Alex Jones, Ushiromiya Battler
>Secretary of the Interior: Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman
>Secretary of Agriculture: King Sneed
>Secretary of Commerce: Yamano Mitsuha, Goyim Shekelstein
>Secretary of Labor: Doreen Ford
>Secretary of Health and Human Services: Hulk Hogan
>Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Dr. Jack Bright
>Secretary of Transportation: Jeffrey Epstein
>Secretary of Energy: Mike Pence
>Secretary of Education: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
>Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Lily Hoshikawa
>Secretary of Homeland Security: Khodarin
>White House Chief of Staff: Hate-Monger
>Ambassador to the United Nations: Kanye West
>Director of National Intelligence: Aldrich Ames

>>5568197
>The FBI is in open rebellion
Create our own agency. We'll need it to deal with our internal problems and o keep Biden out. Some sort of secret police is always useful. Maybe they can wear masks of some sort, to be EXTRA secret.

>>5568197
>The FBI is in open rebellion. It’s the only government department that’s completely gone over to Joe Biden. We can’t have our law enforcement working for a fake! We need to deal with them, or make a new law enforcement agency.
Gotta deal with it first, since it's a crucial agency

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>>5564155
>A Bunch of Random Cats
>Director of the Office of Management and Budget

>>5568197
>The FBI is in open rebellion. It’s the only government department that’s completely gone over to Joe Biden. We can’t have our law enforcement working for a fake! We need to deal with them, or make a new law enforcement agency.
Cut their budget and give us all the money. It's very important trust me.

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>>5568200
Oh, and as for purging dissidents in my department, I have a ray for that. A ray to make them hate what I hate. They will learn, or... Else.

>>5568197
>The FBI is in open rebellion. It’s the only government department that’s completely gone over to Joe Biden. We can’t have our law enforcement working for a fake! We need to deal with them, or make a new law enforcement agency.

In my opinion, the FBI is our biggest threat at the moment.

I would prefer to pursue your own agenda, but I want to wait until my department is at full capacity first.

>>5568526
*my own agenda

Rolled 17 (1d100)

A few members of the Socialist Rifle Association, seeing the current state of the country, have decided to take action against the clear insurrection at hand! Armed with the power of Socialism, actual honest to god firearms, and the basic knowledge to use these weapons, these foes are one of the few genuine threats the leftist insurrectionists have. This combined with their members not being completely retarded has provided them with an actual, honest to god chance to do damage to the oppressive regime they claim to fight against. And with their actual intelligence, they go after the greatest threat to their insurrection that exists. The Secretary of Defense himself, Michael Flynn! However, they plan to not use a firearm, but an old Irish classic. The Car Bomb!

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>>5568197
>Joe Biden. He’s still at large, hiding somewhere in the Appa-
As Defense Secretary, I expect my position t-

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Calculating effectiveness….

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…ineffective.

>The counter-revolutionary forces in some of the cities. They’re not a major threat now but they could quickly grow out of control and become the foundations of a wider civil insurrection. Better end them early before they become dangerous.

The counter-revolutionaries are the biggest threat facing this great nation, and I’ll dedicate whatever resources I have as Defense Secretary to crush this growing terrorist threat before it engulfs the nation, with or without executive consensus. Let this be known as the Summer of Blood.

(And yes, I consider this pursuing my own agenda if the Executive Branch votes to do something else.)

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Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>5568607
I assume I roll for this.

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>>5568608
Oh boy

I don’t know if rolls were required or not, but this is clearly a sign from God that I’m either blessed (Warden tier crit success) or cursed (/qst/ tier crit fail). I guess my fate it in Q’s hands now…

>>5568608
LOL

>>5568605
kek
>>5568608
kek

>DO FBI THING

ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT ON THE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE

This morning socialist terrorists tried to bomb the car of Michael Flynn on his way to the Cabinet's next meeting! Luckily, they got the wrong one! What will be the response of the government? Martial law? Will the general go into hiding? Or will there be something drastic?

>>5568428
Roll 1d100 for the effectiveness of the ray.

>>5568608
Uh... give me a moment to come up with something for this one.

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>>5568608
MASSACRES IN DETROIT AND PORTLAND

This morning, following the assassination attempt on Michael Flynn, the Secretary of Defense, the army was ordered to move into cities currently experiencing social unrest in the wake of President Trump’s election into office. The army, supported by members of the national guard, were first ordered to enter the two cities experiencing the most unrest, Detroit and Portland.

Upon their arrival they were met with large crowds of allegedly peaceful protestors, declaring that Joe Biden was president and that President Trump’s election was illegitimate. It is not known on whose order it began, but the units deployed to both cities have opened fire on the crowds.
Footage is circulating on the internet showing the march towards the assembled army units, and shows the army opening fire on protestors in both cities. Several unverified videos depict masses of bodies lying in the streets and there are even pictures of tanks being deployed, prompting comparisons to the Tiananman Square protests of 1989. Claims have also been made of bombing runs made by fighter jets, but these have yet to be verified. The full casualties are unknown at this time, but the death toll is expected to be in the thousands.

Joe Biden, transmitting from his bunker somewhere in the country, has declared this an unforgiveable attack on the very foundations of America, a sign that the Trump Presidency is on the road to fascism. CNN and NBC have called this a barbarous massacre of innocent civilians, while Fox News is proclaiming it as necessary suppression of political terrorists threatening the state. The United Nations and many members of the international community have condemned the government of President Trump, and there has been talk of an emergency session of the UN to deal with the growing crisis in America. Unrest has increased in every American city, and there are large scale protests in California, New York, and even Washington DC itself.

What will be the response of President Trump and his Cabinet? Will Secretary Flynn resign? Will there be further violence against protestors? We can only wait and see.

Rolled 32 (1d100)

How bothersome. All of these counter revolutionaries and terrorist forces are getting in the way of our economic prosperity. I propose the establishment of a New American Credit Score that rewards patriotism, self-defense, and promoting good old-fashioned American values, while punishing acts of crime and sedition. Those who oppose these great United States shall not be permitted to participate in the economy, and will be restricted from travel.

(Also, Q, do we possess the abilities we have in the stories we are from? If so, I would like to see about establishing trade with the Other World to rebuild our gold reserves)

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Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>5568686
We troll the UN.

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>5568759
I got this.

"As a man I am flawed, but my music is perfect." (Actual quote)

>Ye performs the most disturbing and confusing concert possible at the next UN meeting, to divert the world's attention from all the espionage and war crimes we're about to commit.

>>5568773
>>5568686
As ambassador of the UN, my people have their finger on the pulse of the globe. The world stage is preoccupied talking about how my concert was the greatest of all time, critics all over the world are praising it as the greatest musical performance ever.

They won't even notice us quelling the protests. Full speed ahead, break out the dogs and water hoses and root shields and tanks!

>>5568780
Riot Shields*

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Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>5568686
This is too far. We need to do something to help people, not get them killed! I'll set up false documentation to lead the FBI against itself.

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>>5568686
>>5568759
>>5568773
After the success of Kanye's distraction, it was noted by some witnesses that a bunch of cats wearing backpacks were seen exiting the UN embassy as well as various other political and economic establishments.

A few days later the Director(s) of the Office of Management and Budget announced a increase in funds. The response when asked about where such a sum of money was found was "lol, lmao even."

>>5568727
I'm probably going to regret this, whatever.

I'll say yes, to a point. Provided your character abilities are not too OP. So trade with other world: Good. Convincing other world to invade and kill all your enemies: Bad.

>>5568773
The chamber of commerce shall provide their full support to Ambassador Ye, working with the record companies to ensure that when the album version of this song drops, it is not merely fire... it is A T O M I C.

>>5568812
Mitsuha's only power is the ability to cross over to a middle fantasy world and understand every language as if she was a native speaker, so she can't do that. The natives of the world she can travel to are relatively mundane, middle fantasy types, so at most we might be able to get some adventurer groups to supplement the army as magical mercs.

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>>5568816
Thank you Yamano, very cool!

>>5568812
Could Battler use Blue Truths, then? A Blue Truth is a claim on what's true that needs advance a theory. They can be contradicted by a Red Truth(what actually is true) which forces Battler to come up with a new theory or Blue Truth. Only the game master (ie, you) or witches could use Red Truths.

>>5568647
Rolling for ray! The Kanye concert is the ideal time to convert some of the populace at the same time!

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>5568894
Curses! The (((subversive terrorists))) ate Hate-Monger's roll!

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>>5568845
You're welcome!

CNN and NBC are spreading too many subversive lies

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>>5568686
Well… shit. I guess I’ll just go full ‘Honest’ Abe until the President asks me to resign.

I hereby order the nationalization and patriotzation of the opposing news networks (to be backed up by actual military boot to control the narrative), and publicly declare an investigation into the supposed ‘peace protest’. The military is to be on standby in the major cities in case of terrorist escalation.

>>5568773
Thanks Kanye, I’ll make sure the news is promoting your UN concert 24/7.

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>5569043
Another misfired roll… I hop it’s better than the last one.

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>5568811
>>5568686
Rolling for any consequences.

>>5568686
I take back what I said about the FBI being our greatest threat. I now know that it is the Socialist Rifle Association that is our biggest threat! But how should we deal with them? ... I need to make a phone call real quick. ... Hello, O5 Command? We got a situation here.

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>5569252
Lets make them belive that other grup or a criminal gang is after them or that they are importan to us. Then see how they kill each others.

>>5568858
Sure.

>>5569056
NICE. The office of management and budget suddenly finds a spare 6.9 billion lying around. It's up to them how to spend it.
In other news, the UN and various other agencies find themselves missing a large sum of money. They really need to work on their finances.

3rd TRUMP CABINET MEETING

With the massacres in Detroit and Portland broadcasted for the entire country and the world to see, what will the Trump presidency do in the aftermath?

President Trump steps up to say a few words before you all begin. “Yesterday was a terrible day in our history. A terrible day. But, I think we should all move on from it, and focus on what we can do today. These people want to overthrow us, but that’s not gonna happen. It just won’t happen. Thank you.”

There’s a lot you all have to deal with today, but first, the main agenda. What will you do to deal with the FBI?
>Declare martial law. The troops shall take control of law enforcement, and we have ample justification with the assassination attempt on Secretary Flynn. Though, with the recent massacres, the army isn’t too popular with the people.
>Order them wiped out. You can’t start anything with the old FBI still running around, even if you have seized their budget. The J. Edgar Hoover building is still occupied, and they’re still operating as if they have the authority to do so. Though, this won’t solve the immediate problem of the lack of a law enforcement agency, but you can deal with that later.
>Formally dissolve the FBI and start the creation of a new law enforcement agency. You already have their budget, now it’s just a matter of giving it to someone. (The Attorney General will be in charge of this new agency, though it will come into conflict with the existing FBI)
>Give your blessing to the creation of citizen militias. The second amendment is there, so why can’t you let them use it? It’ll be cheaper than maintaining a federal law enforcement agency, that’s for sure. But it might lead to more anarchy, and you’ll be criticised even more by the international community.
>Write in.

>>5569519

Things have changed a lot in the past day. The failed attempt of the army to bring law and order back to Detroit and Portland has backfired, and now there’s unrest in almost every city in America. The footage of the massacres circulating on the new networks and internet doesn’t help.

The Secretary of Commerce, Yamano Mitsuha, has tried to create a new credit system, but ran into problems. The old credit system is still around, and the banks like it more than the new proposal. Maybe it’s because she’s Japanese and couldn’t fully communicate her intentions to them.

The UN has been experiencing a series of weird events, first trollfaces were sent to all their workers, and at their overnight emergency meeting Kanye West, our UN Ambassador, turned up to give a concert, and it was so successful that the UN couldn’t get anything done! Take that globalists!

The Attorney General has also been hard at work, doing his best to interfere with the FBI’s operations. He’s been pretty successful and the FBI has had difficulty interfering with your operations.

The Hate-Monger’s ray has been pretty effective. His department now only suffers from a -10 to actions, and now hates what the Hate-Monger hates.

Defense Secretary Flynn attempted to use his powers to take control of the news networks, but failed when the network CEO’s refused his demands, and his troops were met with heavily armed members of the FBI. There’s currently a stand-off outside the headquarters of CNN and NBC, and the news is still broadcasting.

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>>5569526

The Detroit and Portland massacres have been extremely damaging to the reputation of this presidency. There have been accusations that Defense Secretary Flynn ordered the troops to open fire himself, but this hasn’t been confirmed. The world and citizens of America are demanding a response. There are now violent riots in several cities, and protests in most. What will you do?

>Demand Secretary Flynn’s resignation. He is obviously unfit for office. There isn’t anyone around to replace him though.
>Condemn the protestors for trying to interfere with the restoration of order and security. It was obviously their fault for getting violent.
>Order more troops in and the mobilisation of the national guard. This unrest must be put down by any means necessary.
>Order an investigation. You can prosecute a few scapegoats and hopefully cool things down that way. But this might anger the military.

Current Cabinet of the United States:

>Secretary of State: Caitlyn Jenner
>Secretary of the Treasury: Jared Kushner
>Secretary of Defense: Michael Flynn
>Attorney General: Alex Jones, Ushiromiya Battler
>Secretary of the Interior: Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman
>Secretary of Agriculture: King Sneed
>Secretary of Commerce: Yamano Mitsuha, Goyim Shekelstein
>Secretary of Labor: Doreen Ford
>Secretary of Health and Human Services: Hulk Hogan
>Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Dr. Jack Bright
>Secretary of Transportation: Jeffrey Epstein
>Secretary of Energy: Mike Pence
>Secretary of Education: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
>Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Lily Hoshikawa
>Secretary of Homeland Security: Khodarin
>White House Chief of Staff: Hate-Monger
>Ambassador to the United Nations: Kanye West
>Director of National Intelligence: Aldrich Ames
>Director of the Office of Management and Budget: A Bunch of Random Cats

>>5569541
>>Order an investigation. You can prosecute a few scapegoats and hopefully cool things down that way. But this might anger the military.
>give some weapons to some shitheads protest guy and let the camara see them kill normal people.

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Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>5569508
money money

>>5569519
>Order them wiped out. You can’t start anything with the old FBI still running around, even if you have seized their budget. The J. Edgar Hoover building is still occupied, and they’re still operating as if they have the authority to do so. Though, this won’t solve the immediate problem of the lack of a law enforcement agency, but you can deal with that later.
It's time.

>>5569541
>Condemn the protestors for trying to interfere with the restoration of order and security. It was obviously their fault for getting violent.

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>5569519
>Informally dissolve the FBI via mass firings of dissident agents and bureaucrats and replacing them with more reliable people who understand the necessity of our new President's Order. You already have their budget and structure, now it’s just a matter of giving it to someone... agreeable. (The Attorney General will be in charge of this new agency, though it will come into conflict with the existing FBI)
>Order an investigation. You can prosecute a few scapegoats and hopefully cool things down that way. But this might anger the military.
>give some weapons to some shitheads protest guy and let the camara see them kill normal people.

Rolling to continue my overtures to the banks to adopt the New American Credit System. We live in a disorderly society, and by showing them the success in restoring order within of those regions of the world which have adopted such a system should hopefully help get them on board. If need be, favorable lending terms from the Federal Reserve can be arranged for those banks which choose to adopt the new system as their primary means of determining credit eligibility.

>>5569615
As expected, all it took was favorable lending terms for the banks to adopt an American-Right twist on CCP Style Social Credit. Sasuga Blackrock-kun.

>>5569541
>Formally dissolve the FBI and start the creation of a new law enforcement agency. You already have their budget, now it’s just a matter of giving it to someone. (The Attorney General will be in charge of this new agency, though it will come into conflict with the existing FBI)
>>Proposed head of the new Agency for the Preservation of American Greatness: Dell Rusk

(Also, how did my HATE-RAYS do?)
>>5568894
>>5568896

>>5569612
+1's

I'm Ye btw

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>>5569508
Now I can fight back directly, ihihihi!
>>5569519
Formally dissolve the FBI and start the creation of a new law enforcement agency. You already have their budget, now it’s just a matter of giving it to someone. (The Attorney General will be in charge of this new agency, though it will come into conflict with the existing FBI)
>>5569541
>Order an investigation. You can prosecute a few scapegoats and hopefully cool things down that way. But this might anger the military.

I'll pierce to the heart of the incident with my truths and new agency, just give me the authorization!

>>5569565
>Formally dissolve the FBI and start the creation of a new law enforcement agency. You already have their budget, now it’s just a matter of giving it to someone. (The Attorney General will be in charge of this new agency, though it will come into conflict with the existing FBI)
>Condemn the protestors for trying to interfere with the restoration of order and security. It was obviously their fault for getting violent.
We could replace the FBI with the State Citizen Police Foundation, or SCP Foundation for short.

>>5569751
I'm prepared to accept the name of the organziation being the SCP Foundation if we can still get Rusk as program overseer. I think he and you "SCP" may see eye to eye on certain... Matters.

>>5569759
:)

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Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>5569519
>Declare martial law. The troops shall take control of law enforcement, and we have ample justification with the assassination attempt on Secretary Flynn. Though, with the recent massacres, the army isn’t too popular with the people.
>Order them wiped out. You can’t start anything with the old FBI still running around, even if you have seized their budget. The J. Edgar Hoover building is still occupied, and they’re still operating as if they have the authority to do so. Though, this won’t solve the immediate problem of the lack of a law enforcement agency, but you can deal with that later.
Clearly the FBI are out of control! The military is ready to neutralize and take over the FBI, just say the word Mr. President!

>>5569541
>Condemn the protestors for trying to interfere with the restoration of order and security. It was obviously their fault for getting violent.
>Order more troops in and the mobilisation of the national guard. This unrest must be put down by any means necessary.
These terrorist must be brought to justice! ‘Peacefully’ Purge them all and let God sort it out!

If the News will not be nationalized peacefully then let it be nationalized by force! I order the airwaves jammed, the Broadcast News HQs secured, and and the FBI threat neutralized, by any means necessary! Hoorah!

>>5569769
Opps, forgot the name :P

>>5569612
>>5569615
>>5569676
I’d appreciate some assistance in securing the public broadcast news gentleman. With a mix of money, cheap credit, and mind altering rays we can secure the Public Relations front, and the military won’t forget our friends.

>>5569786
Once the New American Credit System is in place, money will flow like water to worthy broadcasters, while the unworthy slowly die of thirst. I am uncertain what further aid you would require, Secretary Flynn. I cannot rematerialize the controls to our Nuclear Deterrent, but... perhaps on our next turn, I could see about procuring you... Contractors of Paranormal Talent?

>>5569786
You have my rays as required... Once I know how my beta-test of them worked upon those with insufficient HATRED in my own agency, and on those FOOLS at the concert.

>>5569795
I would appreciate that, thank you.

>>5569798
I’ll let the hate FLOW, you have my word!

>>5569798
I am confused by your American term 'hatred', can you explain as a subject matter expert, Hate-Monger. Sometimes in your literature, it appears to be used in the same context as the word 'nikui' or loathing, but other times it appears to be used to describe basic in-group preference, or even for common sense phrases such as 'women are female'.

Which of these definitions does your hate ray encompass?

>>5569803
Splendid. It will need to wait until after our next cabinet meeting, but I will see what I can do.

>>5569519
>Order them wiped out. You can’t start anything with the old FBI still running around, even if you have seized their budget. The J. Edgar Hoover building is still occupied, and they’re still operating as if they have the authority to do so. Though, this won’t solve the immediate problem of the lack of a law enforcement agency, but you can deal with that later.
>>5569541
>Order an investigation. You can prosecute a few scapegoats and hopefully cool things down that way. But this might anger the military.

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>>5569786
I'll bankroll it!

>>5569698
Hey Ye, wanna make another concert? We could give a good distraction from the protests like we did with the U.N.
And don't worry about the cost, I got that covered.

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>5569818
Kanye West throws a benefit concert in Detroit for the victims of the riots, all to gaslight the people into thinking we were always supporting them, and it's Biden and his people who started this all. Televised live, worldwide, course.

>>5569806
>Which of these definitions does your hate ray encompass?
There is a dial on the side of the ray-gun, to generate contextually-useful varieties of discord. It is key to be versatile, in my industry.

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>>5569818
Let’s goooo!

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You all decide to create a new, rival agency to the FBI. One fully under your control and loyal to President Trump and his cabinet. You already have the FBI’s budget and the judiciary behind you, now it’s just a matter of giving it to someone. Attorney General Ushiromiya Battler is now in charge of this new organisation, given full oversight to investigate, arrest, and prosecute the enemies of the Trump Presidency. It requires a lot of work, building an agency effectively from the ground up, but with the support of the cabinet it can be done. The funds, resources, recruitment and media announcements require a lot of effort though, but hopefully it will go smoothly.

>Roll 1d100 for how strong this new agency will start as. 1 roll per person. Be aware, crits WILL override, including critfails. Alternatively, you can put your department resources behind the effort, which will give a +5 bonus to all rolls, though you will be unable to roll yourself.

>>5570900
>>5569724

Attorney General Battler, what do you want the focus of your new organisation to be? (ONLY Ushiromiya Battler gets to vote on this.)
>Regular Law Enforcement. The only problem is that the FBI isn’t working for you anymore, so all we need is law enforcement working for us. There will be conflict with the FBI though when you run into each other.
>Taking down the FBI. They’ll interfere with this government’s operations, so you need to get rid of them. And besides, it’ll be useful taking all their stuff for yourself.
>Secret Police. There is not enough law and order in this country, and with dissidents in the streets openly criticising the government it will only get worse. Political subversion is the worst crime against the state. If the international community gets word of this it might mean trouble though.

Also, what do you want to name this new organisation? (This vote is for everyone)
>Federal Bureau of Control
>The State Citizen Police (SCP) Foundation
>Federal Security Service
>Write in

>>5570902

Meanwhile, an investigation into the Detroit and Portland massacres has commenced, calming some of the unrest but the military had lodged a complaint with Secretary Flynn. Several officers involved in the incidents have been stood down, but they are claiming that the order came from Secretary Flynn himself, and that they will testify as such if they are ever put to trial. This might become very embarrassing to this administration if it’s allowed to continue. What will we do?
>End the investigation inconclusively. There’s not enough evidence to prove who really did it. Secretary Flynn must be protected.
>Continue the investigation and prosecute these officers. The people will riot if there isn’t any consequences for the massacres. The military will be angered however.
>Quietly make the problem go away. As series of unfortunate accidents and sudden episodes of depression should do it.

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>5570900
Rolling!

>>5570902
>SCP Foundation

>>5570915
>Quietly make the problem go away.

Also, Q, how well did the ray work? Did it accomplish anything? I rolled, but it's been a couple updates now.

In other news, the bunch of cats in charge of the Office of Management and Budget have somehow managed to dig up even more money. How on earth do they do it? They now have a total of $30 billion to spend.

The Secretary of Commerce, Yamano Mitsuha, has made a second approach to the banks about a new credit system, and this time it’s been a roaring success! All the banks in America have now adopted this new system, and are fully aligned with Secretary Mitsuha. Secretary Mitsuha now controls the banks!

Secretary Flynn, after his recent failure to suppress the cities, has decided to suppress the media instead. Troops have forcibly occupied the premises of CNN and NBC, and cut off their transmissions! Turns out the FBI couldn’t stand against the might of the US Army on this one. With the support of Secretary Mitsuha’s newfound finances and the hate-mongers hate rays, much of our opposition in the media has been silenced.

However, underground tv and radio news broadcasts have started to pop up, some of which are claiming to be the remains of CNN and NBC. Looks like that’ll continue to be a problem, but for now the official airwaves belong to Secretary Flynn.

Kanye West, with the help of the cats and their money, has thrown a benefit concert in Detroit for the victims of the violent anti-government riot! Detroit doesn’t have unrest anymore! It’s also pretty popular overseas. Looks like we won’t be bothered by the UN about it now.


>>5570922
The ray worked, your department now only has a -10 to actions against the enemies of Trump. See here >>5569526 Though reading it more I realise you wanted it used on the populace so I'll just say that the unrest died down a little more as well.

>>5569589
Going to need your name buddy. Or you can join cabinet. A few people have disappeared so you can claim anyone's spot who hasn't appeared for a while.

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>>5569589
Our Secretary of State has been silent, and is a pretty vital role.

>>5569724
Secret Police are best police. I also suggest we psychologically condition them into absolute zealotry to the cause, and ideally put them in weird bondage gear. Just, you know... For reasons.

>>5570935
Thank you, Q!

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Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>5569823
Covering for the stage and other expenses (as well as enough media clout to get people to listen).

>>5570158
Say the word and the full weight of a bunch of overfed cats of the OMB will support you!

>>5570900
Rollin

>>5570915
>Quietly make the problem go away. As series of unfortunate accidents and sudden episodes of depression should do it.

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Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>5570900
Let's go!
>>5570902
>Taking down the FBI. They’ll interfere with this government’s operations, so you need to get rid of them. And besides, it’ll be useful taking all their stuff for yourself.
>The State Citizen Police (SCP) Foundation
I'll put the bad guys down as soon as possible then replace them with the good guys.
>>5570915
>Continue the investigation and prosecute these officers. The people will riot if there isn’t any consequences for the massacres. The military will be angered however.
I suspect that one officer might be a plant. I'll state my theory in blue. [blue] One of the officers, is traitorous and working with the rebels. Their goal was a falseflag operation to rile the public against us. The officer(s) were able to send the orders to shoot using falsified intel. [blue]
>>5570940
Uh, we are the good guys Mr. Hate-Monger. I will take you up on the bondage gear though, ihihi.

>>5570958
>the good guys
There's nothing BAD about zealously believing in a GOOD cause, ja?

But very well, Battler-san, we will do things your way. I have ever respect the almost Aryan soul of the Japanese civilization.

>>5570900
Commerce shall simply put its cooperation towards the agency's effort, to support the new Federal Law Enforcement Agency.
>The State Citizen Police (SCP) Foundation

>>5570958
Supporting Battler's interesting theory/Blue Truth. Righteousness shall prevail in Trump's America.
>Continue the investigation and prosecute these officers. The people will riot if there isn’t any consequences for the massacres. The military will be angered however.

Now that the banks have come to respect our soft power, we will let them continue their operations under the New American Credit System, most as normal. This should nip foolish ideas such as ESG Lending in the bud, which is ultimately the goal of the endeavor - fund things that can turn profit and promote stability, not revolutionary money sinks.

In the interim, I shall see if I can negotiate for the services of a Magical Smith from the Other World. While I do not expect him to teach us new metallurgy, our research institutions might be able to learn how to leverage magic in their designs from him. My goal would ideally be to bring over a talented smith with few enough attachments to the other world, so that he can get a second chance of sorts in our wonderful land of opportunity.

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>5571089
I forgot to roll for the success of my endeavors in the Other World

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>5570900
343, please let me roll a hundred!

>>5570902
SCP Foundation

>>5570915
>Quietly make the problem go away. As series of unfortunate accidents and sudden episodes of depression should do it.

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>>5570902
>Federal Bureau of Control
FBC has a nice ring to it.

Also, I’ll forgo my roll and throw the weight of my Department and the Media behind the FBC effort for those juicy +5s. I’m hoping to help consolidate my hold on the military this turn (and get rid of dat -30).

>>5570915
>Focus the narrative on the recent deep- I mean, newly uncovered video of the protesters firing on the military! Shocking, isn’t it?
Hate Rays? What hate rays? These are rays of compassion!

>>5570958
Since I’m helping militarize your new FBC, you mind helping me consolidate my control over the military?

>>5570951
…word…

You have my media clout, and a +5.

>>5571090
>>5571115
Would my +5 support make this a double 100+? Damn, this Bureau is coming off an a strong foot.

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>SCP
I forego a roll to give a +5 bonus

Then roll again because I'm putting out a new brand of sneakers that cost $100,000. Everyone in Trump's cabinet gets a pair.

This will, uh... Lift up our nation's spirit?

I'm the greatest UN Ambassador of ALL TIME!!

>>5571454
Holy shit I expected a 2

Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>5571456
That is me, look

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Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>5571379
Yeah sure. I'll have my offices help with whatever paperwork you need and trials you need doing. Rolling.
>>5571454
Kanye MVP

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>SCP Foundation

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>>5571454
>>5571521
We got two MVPs here! We’re up to like four 100+ rolls here! Remember, it’s the DoD support that made it all possible!

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>5571818

For the Future

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The SCP Foundation is formed, your new law enforcement agency to rival the FBI. Thanks to your contributions and the effort of everyone involved, the new agency is fully staffed and ready to go! Plenty of American patriots have signed up to be the government’s new law enforcement officers, and state and local police departments across the country have donated some equipment for the good of the nation. Your government can now investigate and order the arrests of any American citizen. Attorney General Battler can also order the SCP Foundation to carry out his bidding. With a slick media campaign and President Trump himself unveiling the new agency, everyone knows who’s in charge of this country’s law. The FBI better watch out!

The new agency has immediately focused its efforts on taking down the FBI. Can’t have them operating while the SCP Foundation is laying down the law. With the success of its founding it should be easy work. What will they focus on? (ONLY Attorney General Battler votes on this)

>Assaulting FBI offices and buildings. They can’t operate if they don’t have anywhere to operate from.
>Bringing the full force of the law down on these lawless agents. You’ll arrest and imprison all the FBI agents still operating in the open, which is most of them.
>Going after the families. These fools won’t dare oppose us if we throw their families in prison.
>Write in

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>>5572026

The investigation into the Detroit and Portland Massacres has stalled. All the key people under investigation have suddenly died in tragic accidents or committed suicide. Guess they couldn’t live with the guilt, huh? The people aren’t happy about it, but there’s nobody left to confess anymore. The army isn’t too happy either, but there’s nothing they can accuse you of. The unrest following the massacres has died down to pre-massacre levels. There’s still counter-revolutionaries fighting in the streets, but there’s no longer any danger of entire cities revolting. If you leave the problem unchecked though, it might come back again.

As you all prepare for the next cabinet meeting, explosions and gunfire erupt across Washington! As each one of you wonder’s what’s going on, armed members of the Secret Service turn up at your residences and offices and escort you to an emergency meeting with President Trump. As soon as you all get into the White House’s secret bunker, President Trump begins.

“Folks, today is a tragic day. A very tragic day. Just this morning, when you were all getting ready for work, assassins made attempts on much of our cabinet. Many of the attempts were successful, and some victims may never wake again. I’m very saddened to say, you here are all that’s left. We don’t know who’s done this, maybe Joe, Maybe Chi-na, we just don’t know. Before we do anything though, we need to decide what we’ll do with these now vacant cabinet positions. So, what do you all want?”

>(You may now pick ONE new department to add to your control. Any left at the end will be taken by President Trump i.e for new players. If two or more of you want the same department you must negotiate, and if that doesn’t work Donald will make a captain’s call.)

Once that’s decided, what will we do to respond to this blatant attack on democracy?

>Investigate who’s behind it. We need to know who did this before we make any major decisions. The new SCP Foundation needs some work to do anyway.
>Blame Biden. It’s obviously him, and we need to turn the citizens against him anyway. Don’t even bother with an investigation, we’ll find the evidence either way.
>Expand the Secret Service. We need stronger security, loyal security, and only they will do. (A new department will be created, a radical new security service better than any single military unit in the country. You must elect a member to be in charge. This will not count towards the 2 department limit.)

>>5572029
Current Cabinet of the United States:

>Vice President: Mike Pence (Incapacitated)
>Secretary of State: VACANT
>Secretary of the Treasury: VACANT
>Secretary of Defense: Michael Flynn
>Attorney General: Ushiromiya Battler,
>Secretary of the Interior: VACANT
>Secretary of Agriculture: VACANT
>Secretary of Commerce: Yamano Mitsuha,
>Secretary of Labor: VACANT
>Secretary of Health and Human Services: VACANT
>Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Dr. Jack Bright
>Secretary of Transportation: VACANT
>Secretary of Energy: Mike Pence (Incapacitated)
>Secretary of Education: VACANT
>Secretary of Veterans Affairs: VACANT
>Secretary of Homeland Security: VACANT
>White House Chief of Staff: Hate-Monger
>Ambassador to the United Nations: Kanye West
>Director of National Intelligence: Aldrich Ames
>Director of the Office of Management and Budget: A Bunch of Random Cats

>>5572029
>>5572031
I again propose my man Dell Rusk for the Vice Presidency. He is someone who has a knack for surviving! It also means no one of us will have too much power. You all saw what too much power did to Pence!

For my part, I would like to throw my hood into the ring for
>Secretary of Homeland Security
I have LIFETIMES of experience in suppressing such insolent criminals and establishing order. I will root out the ones who did this! But to do so...
>Expand the Secret Service
I also suggest you finally let me off my leash. I have said, again and again, that a secret police is the BEST police! Let me deal with our... (((Problem))). My solution will be... Final.

In other news, Attorney General Battler has proposed that the massacres may have been started by rogue members of the military working for Joe Biden. With the officers who were under investigation dead, there’s no-one to oppose this, so it’s become the official government stance. The public aren’t too sure just yet, but the military has been quite happy to put the blame on the rebels.

Secretary of Commerce Mitsuha has successfully negotiated with the denizens of the other world, and has brought over not one but two magical smiths! They’re now able to get to work on whatever Mitsuha requires of them.

UN Ambassador Kanye has also come out with a new pair of cool sneakers for everyone in the cabinet. Donald hands them out after you’ve all dealt with the current business. Seeing their leaders wearing such cool fashion, the citizens all rush to buy some for themselves, to emulate their brilliant president and his government. Kanye can now convince normal citizens to do one thing for free, but only once.

Attorney General Battler has also helped Secretary Flynn out by sending his new Foundation officers to help clear the military of any dissidents and make sure it’s functioning properly. He’s so effective that the Department of Defense is back at full capacity! (Secretary Flynn no longer suffers any negatives)

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>>5572026
>Bringing the full force of the law down on these lawless agents. You’ll arrest and imprison all the FBI agents still operating in the open, which is most of them.
This will weaken them the most. If I went and head their buildings taken down that'd just turn them into guerrillas even quicker.
>>5572029
>Investigate who’s behind it. We need to know who did this before we make any major decisions. The new SCP Foundation needs some work to do anyway.
Damn, this isn't good. I do have some ideas. I'll ask for you to repeat this in red Q, 'The assassinations were carried out by those employed by Biden.' [blue] The assassinations were the result of a coordinated plan by FBI agents and turncoat military. [blue] I don't want anymore power, I have a job to do.

>>5572053
SCP Foundation got the most votes? Nice! It'll be easier to rp as Bright. :)
I'll take control of the Department of the Interior.
>Investigate who’s behind it. We need to know who did this before we make any major decisions. The new SCP Foundation needs some work to do anyway.
Ag yes, the "new" SCP Foundation .. ha ha.

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Rolled 42 (1d100)

Rolling to bankroll Secretary Flynn plans, see how it turns out.

>>5571379
On it!

>>5572029
>Investigate who’s behind it. We need to know who did this before we make any major decisions. The new SCP Foundation needs some work to do anyway.
Time to flex the intelligence of the REAL American intelligence.

>>5572044
If Mike Pence is fully incapacitated for the foreseeable future, I'd support the appointment of Mr. Rusk as vp.

Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>5571379
I will support reestablishment of control as well. Will you likewise support me, Herr General?

>>5572153
And you, Herr Doctor... Surely YOU recognize the value of an agency that can be loyal to our grandest and loftiest ideals, and operate in the shadows? Let us investigate together...

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Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>5572029
Welp… that happened.

>Blame Biden
>Expand the Secret Service.
I’ll grab the State Department, unless Ye wants it. Otherwise the Treasury Department.

I will however ask that I be elected in charge of the Secret Service, since this’ll be the elite military unit.

As for my Departments and Media, we’ll fully condemn Biden and the FBI for this callous and cowardly actions, and assist the SCP in rooting out the FBI, as well a battling the counter-revolutionaries in America’s grand cities.

>>5572091
>>5572186
Thanks guys, I appreciate the support.

>>5572191
Aye, I’ll support.

File: Trump in the E.M.P.R.A.H..jpg (177 KB, 750x1000)

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Rolled 64 (1d100)

>Investigate who’s behind it. We need to know who did this before we make any major decisions. The new SCP Foundation needs some work to do anyway.

Splendid, we have obtained the services of two magical craftsmen. One of them, I will have create a set of ceremonial armor for the President that uses Eagle Motifs and his own preference for the color Gold. This... Eminent Mechanized Presidential Runecraft Armored Hazardsuit shall become a new presidential tradition to allow President Trump and his successors greater safety from assassination attempts during public appearances. A new suit will be crafted as new technology emerges from our studies of magic and science, no more frequently than yearly, and each suit will be stripped of its internals and placed within the presidential library for the given President.

Let us celebrate the New America with New Traditions that awe and inspire our beloved people.

The second magesmith will be lent to the Department of Defense to lead a team that will craft magical munitions to supplement smaller and asymmetrical units deployed against Traitor Joe and any forces that have betrayed the United States.

If no one else desires it, I shall happily take:
>The Department of Education
I pledge to use this role to further the great American Culture that I came to this wonderful nation to be a part of. Marxism in all of its nefarious forms will be eliminated from the classroom, including all flavors of so-called "critical theory" designed to fragment America from within by pitting our citizens against one another for centuries old grievances that have no bearing upon the modern day, and crimes that have already been paid for in the blood of patriots.

I intend to bring the best parts of my homeland's education system to America, and implement it with fully American characteristics. Schools will teach in accordance to the students' abilities, with a goal that our brightest are allowed to excel, and that those who struggle are given an environment in which they can succeed. Gun safety and proper use will be mandatory for graduation from highschool, as will proper personal and home economics and finance. Additionally, and emphasis shall be placed that a Healthy Mind lives in a Healthy Body.

The children of the New America shall be given a patriotic, orderly, and harmonious environment in which to thrive.

As for my action rather than campaign speech and the assignment of the smiths... let's roll to make overtures to Foreign Banks to see if we can leverage our current financial position to spread... if not identical, than Credit Systems that have a similar heart to the rest of the Free World. Let us see if we can flush away loss leaders like ESG and return to using pure capitalist metrics for investment and loans... with a slight, but healthy bias towards the New American Values.

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>>5572031
>>Secretary of State
>>"Brandon"
Hello, my name is "Brandon". I am here to help you, Donald. You can trust me

File: 307_dark-brandon.jpg (186 KB, 1920x1080)

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Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>5572053
I, "Brandon", whisper seductively in President Trump's ear: your cabinet is filled with traitors. You should trust me and only me

>>5572346
>>5572348
I’m also fine with that- I guess I’ll take the Treasury unless another anon wants it.

>>5572457
It’s ya boy Flynn here

>>5572091
Roll 1d100 to see how well you do at arresting the FBI.

>>5571379
>>5572191
As I understand it, are you two seeking to establish your own, separate agency in the FBC?

>>5572346
>>5572348
Donald Trump leans over to you. "Brandon? I don't think I've met you before. Why should I trust you?"

>>5572496
DC 60 for the FBI arrests.

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>5572496

>>5572053
>Kanye can now convince normal citizens to do one thing for free, but only once.
Oh boy. Any suggestions, fellow patriots?

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>>5572496
>Donald Trump leans over to you. "Brandon? I don't think I've met you before. Why should I trust you?"
Look into my eyes, donald. I've always been your friend, you can trust me

>>5572496
>As I understand it, are you two seeking to establish your own, separate agency in the FBC?
That would work! So long as we have an agency for all our fanatical masked goon needs.

>>5572598
I am not so sure about this "Brandon" fellow. What are his credentials?

Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>5572496
rollin
>>5572560
Maybe reporting on traitors?

>>5572624
Loud: my credentials are my unquestionable loyalty to Donald and my hatred of lying traitors

Whisper: work with me Hate-Monger I'll support your final solution for (((them)))

>>5572670
Finally, FINALLY, I will have my vengeance on the (((enemy)))?

>>5572496
I publicly voice support for Herr Brandon.

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>5572496

>>5572496
Well, I did say that I’d help with the arrests.

>>5572624
Yea, sure, I could work with that.

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>5573022
>>5572496
lol, was supposed to roll :P

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>>5572031
A glowing orb of electrical energy appears over the seat reserved for the Secretary of Veteran Affairs, burning away part of the conference table.
A voice comes out of the ball, "Mr. President, Donald J. Trump, do not trust the one named Brandon. He will bring ruin to America's dreams!"

The SCP Foundation begins to arrest all the FBI agents still operating in the open, seeking to bring down the rebellious organisation once and for all. Unfortunately, it seems like they got wind of our plans and many of their agents have gone into hiding. We’ve only managed to grab a few unimportant field agents, and most of their best have disappeared. Since the Foundation is our new law enforcement arm the FBI can no longer operate in the open, but they can still cause us trouble. They’re no longer an immediate threat, but they could resurface at any moment. The Foundation will have to remain vigilant to ensure the rule of law is maintained.

The investigation into who orchestrated the assassinations of the rest of Cabinet has also commenced. Though they’ve failed to apprehend the FBI, the Foundation still has enough resources to find out who’s done this.

>Roll 1d100, Bo3. Dc 60.

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>>5573359
The reorganisation of the cabinet is also still being carried out, so we can’t make any important cabinet decisions yet. What we can do though is figure out what to do with the media networks that have fallen under Secretary Flynn’s control. He’s successfully seized control of CNN and NBC, and while they’re not the only media in the country they’re some of the biggest. The UN, even when they don’t recognise us as the rightful rulers of the country, are demanding we maintain a free and open press. The citizens are wondering why the two news networks suddenly sound like Fox News, but other than that they don’t seem to realise there’s anything different. What shall we do with them?

>Keep Secretary Flynn in charge. It’s not his area of expertise, but he’s not doing a bad job.
>Release them from Secretary Flynn’s control. It’s a bad look to have the military in charge of the news. They should have learned their lesson anyway.
>Order them merged with Fox News into a single titanic news network. There’s too much propaganda in this country, and we need to make sure the citizens know that. We might even put it under state control later too…
>Write in

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>5573359
Rolling!

>>5573361
>Release them from direct control, but also make it clear to top brass that we are investigating their dirty secrets, and if they air anything without our express approval these secrets will be exposed on Fox in a broadcast coinciding with the strategic broadcast of HATE-RAYS to make sure that the public holds them accountable
We are good guys, ja? They are only being punished for the wrongs they have done.

>>5573249
What re YOUR credentials? Your are naked, your accent sounds like an Austrian farmboy, and you just violated all our security to enter a private space! This man should be detained and questioned!

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Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>5572186
Could've gone worse.

>>5573359
Rolling.

>>5573361
>Keep Secretary Flynn in charge. It’s not his area of expertise, but he’s not doing a bad job.
Direct control of the media sounds tempting, but I trust my man Flynn.

>>5572186
The Officer of Management and Budget has offered its finances to Secretary Flynn for his plans. Unfortunately, there’s been a glitch in the systems and the cats can’t figure out how to transfer all the money. Maybe it’s because they’re a bunch of random cats? Secretary Flynn receives a measly 1 billion from the OMB.

>>5572091
[red]The assassinations were carried out by those employed by Biden. [/red] Attorney General Battler has received some important information for the investigation into the Assassinations, but he's not sure what to do with this information. Q still isn’t sure how this red/blue truth thing works either.

>>5572333
Yamano Mitsuha’s craftsman has begun work on a giant suit of armour for President Trump. Work has just begun on the very basics of the suit, but it’s already looking very impressive. Donald is extremely excited to see the final product, especially when it’s in his favourite colour, gold.

She’s also begun talking to foreign banks to adopt our new credit system, with mixed success. Several have expressed interest, but nobody’s actually adopted it yet. Something about Blackrock esg being more powerful than you could ever imagine. Seems like they’re scared of something, but what?

>>5572598
Donald Trump looks into Brandon’s eyes. Weird, they’re actually glowing. He looks kinda familiar now that Donald thinks about it, but it’s probably nothing. President Trump decides to trust this Brandon fellow for now, and Hate-Monger has vouched for him. Can’t be too bad.

>>5573022
>>5572624
Secretary Flynn and The Hate-Monger, with the help of some money from the OMB, have decided to establish the FBC; their own, personal police agency that answers only to them. It’s not going to be as good as the SCP Foundation, not without more support, but it’s something. But first, what do they want it to actually be?
>Secret Police. Arresting, imprisoning, and doing absolutely anything necessary to eliminate the enemies of the state.
>Private mercenaries. Muscle to bully people around into doing what Secretary Flynn and the Hate-monger wants them to.
>A government paramilitary organisation. Government authority with the expertise and equipment of the military. There’s no way this can go wrong.
>Something else?

>>5573249
Donald looks at the glowing orb. “What? Who the hell are you? Why shouldn’t I trust Brandon?”

Current Cabinet of the United States:

>Vice President: Mike Pence (Incapacitated) Dell-Rusk: 2 VOTES
>Secretary of State: Brandon
>Secretary of the Treasury: Michael Flynn
>Secretary of Defense: Michael Flynn
>Attorney General: Ushiromiya Battler
>Secretary of the Interior: Dr. Jack Bright
>Secretary of Agriculture: VACANT
>Secretary of Commerce: Yamano Mitsuha
>Secretary of Labor: VACANT
>Secretary of Health and Human Services: VACANT
>Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Dr. Jack Bright
>Secretary of Transportation: VACANT
>Secretary of Energy: VACANT
>Secretary of Education: Yamano Mitsuha
>Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Glowing sphere of energy?
>Secretary of Homeland Security: Hate-Monger
>White House Chief of Staff: Hate-Monger
>Ambassador to the United Nations: Kanye West
>Director of National Intelligence: Aldrich Ames
>Director of the Office of Management and Budget: A Bunch of Random Cats
>National Security Advisor: Henry Kissinger

>>5573393
>Secret Police

>>5573401
I also again petition all my fellow cabinet members to at least support Herr Rusk as ACTING Vice president, so that our government does not appear weak on the world stage or domestically. Pence is missing-in-action at this key time!

File: Kissinger.jpg (1.5 MB, 2066x2607)

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Henry Kissinger enters the room you’re all in at the moment. “Hello everyone. The President has asked me to become National Security Advisor again. I will do my best to serve. I will be outlining any new threats that develop, since there are many enemies of this country. These will not require your immediate action, but may become threats in the future. First. Prime Minister Trudeau has opened his borders to us, freely allowing anyone to cross into the Canada. This is permissible under international law, but it means that Canada may become a hotbed of resistance and foreign interference in this country.
Second. There is a new religion arising out of Minnesota, the Church of St. Floyd. Worshipping some negro or other as a holy prophet. It is quickly spreading across the more liberal areas of the country.
Third. It’s not clear, but smoke has been seen rising from Disneyworld. They’re doing something down there, and none of our agents know what. I would be wary.
That is all. Thank you, Mr. President, for having me. Now I go back to sleep.”

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>>5573374
The energy fades away, leaving behind a young well-dressed man. He straightens his suit, tightens his tie and begins his address.
"I am Barron Trump, sent from the future to ensure my father's work is not disrupted by enemy time travelers. I have chased Brandon, or Dark Brandon, as he is known in my time of origin, across several centuries. He is future Joe Biden merged with the United Nation's most powerful artificial intelligence and several satanic entities, with a mission to destroy the American economy and sell our nation off to the highest foreign bidder. We must eliminate him now before irreparable damage is done to the timeline. In fact, I am afraid that he has already gotten to our dear friend, Vice President and Secretary of Energy Mike Pence..."

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>5573424
>>5573401
Rolling my one assassination attempt per thread, against 'Barron Trump'

"Robot assassin! Protect the president, my loyal and patriotic FBC agents!"

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>5573435
"What are you doing?? Has Dark Brandon already infiltrated this Cabinet? Is he controlling you right now? Who else has been compromised?"
>Rolling to defend

>>5573423
Now that the robot imposter is dealt with and the President is safe, might I suggest we begin interrogating those seeking to leave, and detaining any with terrorist sympathies? For Homeland Security purposes, of course.

>>5573464
lol

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>>5573401
>>Vice President: Mike Pence (Incapacitated) Dell-Rusk: 2 VOTES
I'd like to join this game as Dell Rusk if the position is vacant

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>>5573464
>>5573482
Unprepared to face resistance from other Cabinet members, Barron is quickly terminated. His body is dragged away by janitor bots and disposed of in a back alley dumpster, freeing up the seat for Secretary of Veteran Affairs once again.

>>5573359
Rolling
>>5573361
>Keep Secretary Flynn in charge. It’s not his area of expertise, but he’s not doing a bad job.
>>5573423
First threat, I recommend that we "convince" Trudeau to close the border, and if he refuses, we can assassinate him and rig their next election so that the candidate who wants to keep the border closed wins. I'd say that we could postpone this for up to a year. Second threat, the Church of St. Floyd. I'd say we need to learn more about them and what they believe first. Third threat, well ... there's a Department of the Interior Regional Office in Atlanta Georgia, it's the closest one to Disney World. I'll see if they got a UAS Drone available, and if they do, how long it'll take then to get to Orlando and start a surveillance operation there. I think a one way trip there might take 6 hours.
>>5573464
Kek

>>5573520
You can create a new character if you want, just uh, don't say anything about the future or dark brandon. They've got security locked down pretty tight.

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Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>5573547
Forgot to roll. I am retarded.

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>5573520
I want answers to this matter. The Depart of Commerce will quietly take the body into custody and deliver it to Mitsuha - who will in turn take it to the other world. There, she will use her connections in the other world to attempt to have him raised from the dead like an adventurer who died in one of the dungeons. If that is not possible, then she would like to see if she can have his spirit summoned, or otherwise obtain a Speak With Dead spell to get her answers.

>Write in
Release them, but under new management. A... more LOYAL opposition to the president.

Department of Education will look to hire the Wolfgang Company to run the Gun Safety courses that are now part of the standard school curriculum. And present a wall that school shooters will fear, due to schools no longer being such easy targets.

Department of Commerce focuses on trade with the other world... and the spoilered content.

Rolled 73 (1d100)

>5573745
Also, let's roll to see how well the EMPRAH is proceeding.

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Rolled 18, 62 = 80 (2d100)

>>5573361
>Keep Secretary Flynn in charge. It’s not his area of expertise, but he’s not doing a bad job.
I’m not doing a poor job, am I?

>>5573393
>Secret Police. Arresting, imprisoning, and doing absolutely anything necessary to eliminate the enemies of the state.
>A government paramilitary organisation. Government authority with the expertise and equipment of the military. There’s no way this can go wrong.
No way it’ll go wrong.

Anyhow, I guess I’ll keep mowing down the armed counter-revolutionaries. The military is fully under my control now, yea?

As for the DoT, I’ll set the IRS after our political enemies and corporations, maybe take Blackrock down a peg and replace ESG with Yamano‘s credit system.

>>5573486
Welcome aboard.


>>5573474
Disneyland or the Kneeling Church first for the FoC?

>>5573424
>>5573435
>>5573464
>pic related
Ya know, he does make some solid points…

>>5573520
Eh, I got a billion dollars, I’ll put him on ice instead. Maybe we can turn him into a Robot-Cop…

>>5573745
Huh? Strange, I didn’t know they disposed of the body that quickly… oh well.

The DoD will support the DoE’s efforts with military gun instructors and PR efforts

>>5573547
We could just invade Canada outright, call it revenge for the war of 1860 or something.

File: 641037.jpg (10 KB, 200x229)

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Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>5573423
As my first act as Vice President, I accuse Henry Kissinger of being a Jewish spy, a communist and an agent of the traitor Joe Biden!!
>>5573409
I also raise my outstretched right arm with the palm down while looking at Herr Hate-Monger for no reason

>>5573849
Well that didn't go well..........

>>5573849
I don't think I've seen so many 1's in a thread before. I hope this doesn't become a running theme...

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>5573849
Jump in front of Dell Rusk, the in his lap

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>>5573849
I’m sorry Mr. Vice President, but evidence has come to my attention that you are a, quote, ‘Jewish spy (for the Israelites), a Communist (of the Chinese Mao brand), and that you’ve had a romantic affair with Joe Biden (like, a legit sextape)’. I’m afraid I’ll have to detain and arrest your honeypot ass for trial, and have the Attorney General get to the bottom of this mess.

>>5573854
Funnily enough, each 1 was someone's first roll

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>>5573854
For my death scene, I propose evaporation by jewish space lasers
>>5573871
The jews framed me!!

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>>5573873
If you mean Mr. Kissinger, he was the one that brought this evidence to my attention. Don’t worry- you’ll be afforded a fair a just trial by the Attorney General. You can make your case under the Court of Lady Justice.

>>5573870
>doesn’t jump into my lap
;_;

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Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>5573871
Whisper enticingly in trump's ear: see Donald? Traitors are hiding among us. I'm the only one you can trust
>rolling to increase trump's paranoia

>>5573435
I also publicly thank Herr Hate-Monger for saving me from the robot assassin, privately express outrage at the Jewish plot against Herr Dell Rusk and condemn (((Kissinger)))

Rolled 94 (1d100)

Rolling to possess the Cat body's.

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>>5573940
Subtract 1, add a 0, and that’s Trump’s paranoia baby!

>>5573963
>pic related
Welcome back brother.

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>>5573849
Kissinger slowly turns his aged head to regard Dell Rusk. He has been called many things in his life; a war criminal, a psychopath, an evil scheming Jew who drinks the blood of children. But this is something even he did not expect.

“Mr. Vice President, you have made a grave mistake.”

Kissinger raises his hands and energy shoots out and hits Vice President Rusk!

Kissinger has used Jewish sorcery to curse Dell Rusk!

Dell Rusk is now bankrupt!

Dell Rusk is now wanted by the IRS for tax evasion and income fraud!

What will Dell Rusk do? Is there any way to escape this curse?

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>5573979
Use cat chaotic energy to make the IRS forgive Dell Rusk

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>>5573979
Heh

>>5573986
Kitty, what are you doing in the IRS offices? My god, it looks like you’re having a seizure! Look, I’ll take you back to the Veterinarian Affairs office for a checkup. Here’s some milk.

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>5573989
Rolling to convince Secretary Flynn to take care of me and trust me

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Damnit! I leave for it a bit and it all goes to hell!
>>5573361
>Release them from Secretary Flynn’s control. It’s a bad look to have the military in charge of the news. They should have learned their lesson anyway.
>>5573393
[blue] If it was carried out by those employed by Biden, then this helps cement that this is not a popular uprising. No one unemployed by Biden participated. Furthermore, this shows that this was a deliberate well coordinated attack that could only be executed with internal knowledge. This shows that we have FBI agents that have infiltrated the Secret Service.
[Spoiler]here, try this
https://07th-expansion.fandom.com/wiki/Red_Truth?so=search
https://07th-expansion.fandom.com/wiki/Blue_Truth
>>5573520
You killed a time traveler instead of imprisoning him? Someone who was supposedly the president's son as well? Aaagh, it's useless.
>>5573547
I support this.

Damn it, we weren't directly shown Barron's death, were we? [blue] There is a possibility Barron wasn't killed. He could have been knocked unconscious, had a body double made, imprisoned, and then had the body double dumped in the dumpster. It is entirely possible that anyone of us has the resources to do that.[blue]

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>>5574332
spoiler failure!

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>5573835
>Disneyland or the Kneeling Church first for the FoC?
Disneyland is the greater threat. They have a mindcontrol capability rivaling my own, and money enough to swallow up the entire economy of Serbia.

>>5573979
Rusk was too eager, too fast to act, but it was out of anxiety for the well-being of the President and this great nation of America!

... But if I had any doubt, I now know that Herr Kissinger is not just a Jew, but one of the (((true enemy))). That sorcery... I recognize it!

However, I could be persuaded that this is not so, if he would turn his bankruptcy powers against the Disney corporation?

(rolling to perhaps persuade Kissinger)

>>5573873
Herr Rusk, perhaps you should step down until the investigation is concluded. You know you have my full trust and support, but I cannot offer you special treatment.

In the meantime, perhaps our mutual friend Tod March could fill in for you? Or that astute fellow Cyrus Fenton?

Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>5574404
This

Invoking

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>>5574404
Privately approach Hate-Monger: Herr Hate-Monger, I'm afraid our cabinet has become anti-aryan. Our National Security Advisor is a (((Jew))). Our Ambassador to the United Nations is a Negro. SCP clearly stands for Socialist-Communist-Proletariat Foundation. I propose another Night of Long Knives to drain the swamp

Rolled 28, 11, 17 = 56 (3d100)

>>5574555
First roll Attack Brandon
Second roll Do it subtly
Final roll Use cute eyes to convince Hate-Monger that Brandon is suspicious

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>>5574564

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>>5574399
Don't be ridiculous. Kissinger can't use magic; it isn't real. He must have just made a few well placed calls and had some favors done to send him into crippling debt.
Anyway everyone, we need to stop infighting, it's not helping.

>>5574628
Sorcery can be called "science by other means", Herr Battler, like emotion-rays or extradimensional smiths.

>>5574555
Myself and Herr Ye have an... Understanding. I am told he is a fan of my, ah, historical inspirations. As for Kissinger... He is a Jew, yes, but this is not his gravest sin. I agree, he cannot be trusted. He may yet be of use, though.

>>5574648
>>5573979
Hmm. Kissinger-San, can we see your credit draining device x? I think we could build more of them with help from Mitsuha-San or Bright-San.

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>>5574104
Awww, cute little kitty. How about I put you in charge of Veteran Affairs, huh?

>>5574535
lol

>>5574564
Awww, kitty doesn’t like Brandon. I understand, the sniffing does leave much to be… desired.

The next cabinet meeting will begin in several hours, Q will be too busy to do anything until then.

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>>5574564
From bankruptcy jail I accuse the cats of being Jews!!
>>5574628
>we need to stop infighting
Nonsense!! The fight against international jewry can never stop!! Don't make me revoke your honorary aryan status Herr Japanese-Man

>>5574564
>>5574568
What a darling kätzchen. If only I understood what it was trying to say. it looks... Sad.

>>5575074
This is not a good look either, Herr Schmidt. Bide your time. There are even more terrible forces at work here than Die Juden or this 'Dark Brandon' golem.

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Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>5574877
Disappointed with Hate-Monger's lack of initiative I approach an unlikely ally Kanye West. I remind him black people are the real jews and (((Kissinger))) is appropriating his culture. I implore him to go death con 3

File: 1657501544687.gif (2.79 MB, 476x480)

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>>5575074

>>5574564
I whisper seductively in president trump's ear: listen to me donald those cats are working for biden. They want to steal your covfefe
I show him the documentary Cats (2019) as evidence of their evil satanic nature

>>5575140
but mein fuhrer what can be more terrible than die juden!!

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>>5575187
If you only knew, mein wunderkind...

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>>5575074
Is your plan to put them in an oven, former VP?

>>5574877
Next Cabinet meeting will be at the usual time. Sorry, been exceptionally busy today.

Feel free to do what you want in the meantime. denounce your enemies, plan their assassination, the usual thing.

Rolled 38, 49 = 87 (2d100)

>>5575324
While Secretary Flynn sleep, use cat magic to make him dream with the idea that Brandon is evil.
Use the same technique in Hate-Monger while he sleep in his office

File: Gt+tfw+no+one+will+come+t(...).jpg (16 KB, 291x326)

16 KB JPG

>>5575340

File: 2D7FDBAD-91F1-4FE5-AD92-2(...).jpg (129 KB, 800x1000)

129 KB JPG

>>5575340
https://tenor.com/view/joe-biden-cat-gif-19066408
What…what does this mean?

>>5575363
Opps :P