>>5561828
Oh hey it's back
>I call this on my back the gigacutter, I made it myself by jerryrigging spare parts I found while scavenging on Earth. The industrial cutter was inside a bread factory of all places, apparently the owner was trying to cut costs by using the cheap tools instead of the correct ones. I had the idea from a comically oversized replica of a pizzacutter that Salvatore made one day as a gift.
>The others two are a small shield and a shotgun. I tool the weapon from a swatbot I defeated in a police station, and the shield I made from the materials of one I defeated while climbing down here.
>The only thing of note I can think of is when I stopped by a settlement in the cavern's mouth. Quite a lot of friendly robots there, specially the doc. Had to use the gigacutter to scare a trio to stop hurting themselves.
>Us machines use blood as fuel, even the civilian ones. There are some blood farms where we grow cells to fuel, run by blood barons, but quite a lot of machines choose to just kill others and take it by force. There are some that are very psychotic, like the military or even the streetcleaners.
This is all I can think of

File: 1666721247293437.png (253 KB, 542x592)

253 KB PNG

>>5561828
WE'RE BACK BOYS

>>5561843
+1
Maybe we'll get to use a determination point this time.

>>5561828
Mirage GF when

>>5561843
support and

welcome back ....

>>5561828
>>5561843
Supporting this.

>>5561843
Supporting.
Then sperg out regarding our love of making pizzas until he asks about something else.

>>5561959
Wait 'till you reach Lust nerd
>>5561843
>>5561845
>>5561916
>>5562014
>>5562964

"It is the Giga-Cutter. I made it myself. A dead factory owner's cost cutting was my gain. I found the blade in the ruins of his factory, and salvaged the rest."

"I guess it cuts, doesn't it? I can not guess how, though. I'm more familiar with simpler methods."

"When I rev the engine, it takes some blood from my tank and spins the wheel. The weight and the spin of the blade together make for a strong blow, although I've had trouble handling its weight."

"You need to move with your weapon, machine. A blade is an extension of the body," the Ferryman says, "Moreso for you than me. In fact, you must not think of it as an extension of yourself, no, it is so large that you must think of yourself as an extension of the weapon, merely it's way of moving. It's almost as heavy as you are, you cannot expect to exert total control over such a great weight moving with such force. Guide it to the enemy, and let the momentum do the rest."

"I will keep that in mind," you say, filing away that information for later. "These, at my side, are my shield, knife, and shotgun."

"Oh? Why would you need any other weapons with such a mighty arm upon your back?" he asks, although you cannot help but feel as if it is a test.

>Because I didn't always have the Giga-Cutter.
>Because the Cutter isn't always the best for a given situation.
>I like to mix it up from time to time.

The rest of the convo will come

>>5566435
>Because the Cutter isn't always the best for a given situation.

Gordian knot.

>>5566435
>>Because the Cutter isn't always the best for a given situation.
gotta leave some parts whole for scavenging

>>5566435
>>Because the Cutter isn't always the best for a given situation.

>>5566435
>Because the Cutter isn't always the best for a given situation.
It took a while, but we realized the world wasn't a giant pizza.

>>5566435
>Because the Cutter isn't always the best for a given situation.
>It makes for a good melee opener, but it is too big and heavy for constant use.
>Also it lacks ranged capabilities.

>>5566435
>Because the Cutter isn't always the best for a given situation.

>>5566435
>>Because the Cutter isn't always the best for a given situation.

glad to see this back
>>5566435
>>Because the Cutter isn't always the best for a given situation.

>>5566435
>"How else am I going to rack up my style points?"
It's been to long since I've seen this quest.

https://www.101soundboards.com/sounds/3481709-my-name-is-cesare-marzano-the-7th-finest-robotic-chef-the-world-has-ever-seen
I think Cesare may sound something like this.

>>5571683
>Why, hello there, Old Sport.

>>5566435
>>5566439
>>5566443
>>5566451
>>5566519
>>5566560
>>5566673
>>5566750
>>5569111
>>5571671
"Oh ho! Correct indeed! In life, I favored a heavy axe, but I oft had a need to draw my blade to do battle its stead... Now, about the rest of your journies..." he trails off.

"The only thing of note I can think of is when I stopped by a settlement in the cavern's mouth. Quite a lot of friendly robots there, 'specially the doc. Had to use the Giga-cutter to scare a trio to stop hurting themselves."

"Oh? I was friends with a doctor once... how did you scare them?"

"The Doc said she would need to amputate."

"Oh? OH! Ahahaha! That's quite the jest! What else, what of your kind?"

"Us machines use blood as fuel, from the smallest to the largest."

"How would one get blood? I had heard tell that man is dead, no?" He asks, curious.

"There are... things, from before the collapse of mankind, blood farms. It's not the best fuel, but it'll keep you running, unless your powerplant is finicky. Else, you could hunt. Animals still exist, and their blood is almost as good as a human's. Of course, some will hunt their fellow machine, for the materials or simply for the ease of it. Some are strange, like the streetcleaners. They hate all that lives and breathes, and burn all that they can to ash. Military Machines need better blood from higher quality Blood Farms, or humans. Those are well-controlled, which is why so many have come to hell."

“A matter of survival, rather than duty? Truly, you are as a man among beasts down here, Machine. Ah, the shore is here,” The titan says.

Before you lies a beach of black sands, and a vast cavern that gradually tapers to a door set in the cavern face.

>Speak some parting words. (writein)
>Get going.

if you can tell who I based the big guy on you get an extra use of Determination for the thread

>>5572335
>Speak some parting words. (writein)
>Thank you for guiding me. I wish you good luck protecting the passage, there are going to be increasingly more machines coming to hell seeking blood soon, and not of the peaceful kind.
A character in Ultrakill, or just a character in any story? Because this guy is obliviously a ferryman, like the one in wrath. He could also be Hank, but he seems to be too big for the blue skull

>>5572501
+1
>May we meet again...ah, I never did catch your name.

>>5572335
>>5572501
>>5572637
Supporting.

>>5572501
A character from A Game.

>>5573200
Kratos would be my guess. Uses Axes these days, used to use blades and would be more familiar with them. The line "My hate killed me when it surpassed my devotion" seems like a good hint, in addition the the whole axe/blade thing. I don't know of many characters that wield axes.

>>5572501
>>5572637
Support

>>5572501
>>5572637
>>5572675
"The pleasure is mine, Machine. Do not worry, I am more than capable of defending myself."

"And you did not catch my name because I did not give it. And I did not give it, because I have forgotten it. Until we meet again, Machine." With those parting words, he turns to leave.

Keep guessing, lads.

Limbo /// Land of Thinking Men

The door opens before you when you come to stand before it, closing behind with barely a whisper, despite its thickness.

Ahead is a broad room, with a desk at the center, and chairs sitting empty around the sides of the room and filling up it's middle. In front of the desk, there's a series of ropes creating a path leading to the desk. There's a computer at the desk, and a pair of doors behind it, one akin to the passage you just came through: all reinforced metal and hardy machinery, while the other is a simple but well-crafted wooden door.

>Some of the chairs have things on them, search those?
>Check the desk/computer
>The wooden door
>The metal door

>>5577818
>>Check the desk/computer

>>5577818
>Check the desk/computer

>>5577818
>Check the desk/computer

>>5577818
>Check the desk/computer

>>5577818
>>Check the desk/computer

>>5577818
>Check the desk/computer
well I daresay this character has thoroughly befuddled me. Now I'm very curious.

>>5577818

>>5577828
>>5577839
>>5577847
>>5578050
>>5578337
>>5581015

>Booting HeavenlyOS...
>...
>...

>Entrance Logs
>Requisitions Logs
>Alerts & Proclamations

These next few updates will be rapidfire

>>5582993
>Alerts & Proclamations
Let's see just how fucking bad things currently are.

>>5582993
>>Entrance Logs

>>5582993
>Alerts & Proclamations

File: Spoiler Image (2.56 MB, 300x424)

2.56 MB GIF

>>5582993
>Alerts & Proclamations
I doubt the guys we're looking for came through this way, and we're unlikely to know anyone else that'd be down here anyway.
fork bomb

>>5582993

>>5581015
Remember, it's based on them, not a 1 to 1 translation.

>>5582994
>>5583031
>>5583042
>Alerts and Proclamations

>No data prior to 30XX
>Recent

>Alert XXX52 - Machines.
>Thinking Machines have been created by humanity. No evidence of ensoulment has been shown.

>Alert XXX53 - Discovery of Hell by the Living.
>Although the Faithful Living have always known of Hell's existence, The Living have now physically detected and begun to access hell via probes.

>Alert XXX54 - Entry of Hell by the Living.
>The Living have begun attempting to explore hell.
>Proclamation XX02 - Denial of Entry.
>Although We have previously tolerated the periodic entrance of scholars and adventurers into Hell for the sake of knowledge or a holy quest, with the recent intrusions, we must deny all access to Hell for the living, lest a good soul be stuck there until Judgment Day.

>Alert XXX55 - Entry of Hell by Machines.
>The Living have begun sending Machines to explore Hell in their stead.

>Alert XXX56 - Damage to Heavenly Properties and Outposts by Machines
>Many Thinking Machines have begun damaging Heavenly Propeties and Outposts within Hell in an attempt to repair their bodies from encounters with Wild Husks and Demons, or in attempts to interact with Sinners In Punishment.
>Proclamation XX03 - Destruction of Machines.
>All Thinking Machines (Henceforth shortened to Machine, capital M, as opposed to machine, lowercase m, used to describe normal machinery) currently within Hell must be destroyed, and all further Machines denied Entry.

>Alert XXX57 - The Father is gone.
He has left us. May we pray that He returns soon.

>Alert XXX58 - Recall.
All Angels of Heaven are to return to Heaven.
>Proclamation XX04 - Orders in Our stead.
Until such a time as the Turmoil has ended, all Fallen Faithful are to maintain their efforts in denying entry to Hell, and keep the Sinners In Punishment in check. Those who do not fall to temptation will be richly rewarded.


You have noticed another option that you'd previously missed.

>Entrance Logs
>Requisitions Logs
>Alerts & Proclamations {Read}
>Database

>>5583073
>Database

>>5583073
>Entrance Logs

>>5583073
>Entrance Logs

>>5583073
>Entrance Logs

>>5583073

>>5583078
>>5583117
>>5583119
>>5583187

You see a number of entries, clearly just referring to people entering this entrance to hell, but of all of them, these stick out the most.

>Number: 1
>Entrant: Orpheus
>Purpose of Entry: Petitioning
>Date of Entry: -1300~
>Date of Exit: -1300~
>Notes: Backdated, data imprecise. Heard the singing was good though.

---

>Number: 463
>Entrant: Vergil
>Purpose of Entry: Tourism
>Date of Entry: 1306
>Date of Exit: 1306
>Notes: Nerd.

>Number: 464
>Entrant: Dante Alighierii
>Purpose of Entry: Tourism
>Date of Entry: 1306
>Date of Exit: 1306
>Notes: Nerd, but fanboying.

And after that, you see a few presumable scholars, but more importantly, all across the list...

>Number: 2
>Entrant: Archangel Gabriel
>Purpose of Entry: Business
>Date of Entry: ~1300
>Date of Exit: ~1300
>Notes: Overseeing the installation of the Path of Orpheus checkpoint and Ferryman lodgings.

>Number:
>Entrant: Archangel Gabriel
>Purpose of Entry: Business
>Date of Entry: 38
>Date of Exit: 38
>Notes: Relocating Redeemed Sinner(s).

>Number:
>Entrant: Archangel Gabriel
>Purpose of Entry: Business
>Date of Entry: 2079
>Date of Exit: 2143
>Notes: Overseeing reconstruction of Heavenly Outposts and Properties and the reorganization of the staff therein in response to the increasing rate of new souls entering Hell.

And more times besides, his less important visits seemingly oft accompanied by a quote from the "Man" himself.

Should have said relatively rapidfire in the earlier update, considering I had to sleep soon after.

>Entrance Logs {Read}
>Requisitions Logs
>Alerts & Proclamations {Read}
>Database

>>5584047
>>Database

>>5584047
>Database

>>5584047
>Database

>>5584047

>>5584068
>>5584072
>>5584188
>Alexandria.exe opened

Suddenly, a textbox opens on the screen. Its top right corner is boxed off and occupied by the chibi, haloed face of an angel.

>"Hi, I'm Alexandria! I'm your personal assistant! How can I assist you?"

Clearly, you're being faced with HeavenlyOS' version of Siri, that ancient and abominable being that constantly stunted any man or woman too lazy to open Google's pursuit of knowledge.

>How can she assist you anons? Remember, she's basically Siri.

>>5584272
>"Tell me, where is the best place to make pizzas in hell?"
>"Who created you?"
>"Where can I get more upgrades?"
>Ask for her for a list of names of humans and to find Antonio and Salvatore, where they are located and so on.

>>5584272
>"Alexandria, send me a text file with a list of approved heavenly psalms and prayers."
>"Alexandria, print the Petitioning forms."
>"Alexandria, submit an exception request for the peaceful entry of one Machine: Cesare Marzano VII. Reason: Petitioning.

>>5584276
Alexandria buffers for a while, then responds.
"I'm sorry, I don't know the answer to that question."

But for the other queries, she responds much faster.
"Alexandria was created after Archangel Raziel to assist staff in Heavenly Properties and Outposts with informational requests."
"With the <NULL> Proclamation, you can requisition items to make your stay more comfortable, if you've a need for materials or are deserving of a reward!"
"I'm sorry, I can only access local files at this time. You may be able to find more information at the LCCA (Limbo Central Communications Array). File an appointment at ####-###-###."

Typing in a query only takes a moment, so while you know where to go next, it wouldn't hurt to gather more information.

(This is free Question and answer time, btw)

>>5584292
"No PDD Found. Please insert data-cord."

Looking around the computer, you notice a standard USB port and, taking a gamble, plug in your cord. Thankfully, it seems Raziel, assuming he's the one who made the computers as well as Alexandria, didn't take the Apple approach, and you download the data without delay.

"Petitioning forms Printing."

You hear the sound of printing coming from behind the wooden door. An office, maybe?

"Exception Request entered. Response expected in <9,223,372,036,854,775,807> years. Please wait warmly. If the matter is urgent, you may lodge a request in person at the LCCA (Limbo Central Communications Array). File an appointment at ####-###-###."

Looks like if you want to enter legally, you'll need to head down to this LCCA yourself and file the petition personally, assuming there's anyone left.

>>5584301
>"Alexia, upload all available map data to me."
>"Alexia, call ####-###-###"
The second one can be done at the end of questioning, unless it's a dead end. We gotta file an appointment!

>>5584301
>Alexandria, send me a csv file of Relocated Redeemed Sinner(s)
>Alexandria, send me the dossier/resume/file on the Ferryman
>Alexandria, are you related to Clippy or BonziBuddy?
>Alexandria, please open the Pictures and Video folders on this computer, if available

Questioning will continue tomorrow.

>>5584310
"Uploading map data."

You now have a map that I will not draw out of the local Limbo area. You won't be getting lost any time soon. Interestingly, it also extends to the beginning of the next layer.

"No speaker found. Please attempt calling on your PDD or a landline."

Maybe there's a phone behind that door?

>>5584324
"Full files not found. Is a list of notable figures acceptable?"

Typing in an affirmative, you notice a few names that you recognize, from the Old Testament. Seems like most of these "Redeemed Sinners" are those who were condemned to Hell by strict Old Testament laws and released after the New Testament came into effect and their crimes no longer punishable by Hell.

"Do you mean the Path of Orpheus Ferryman, the Mouth of Hell Ferryman, or the Limbo-Lust Ferryman?"

Quickly confirming the former, you receive the appropriate file. It’s mostly clinical and organizational information, things such as height, weight, effectiveness at their job, and workplace issues. Seems he’s been at it for a while, as the Path of Orpheus position was highly coveted for a long while by prospective Ferrymen, seeing as very little combat generally happens there. After he took the position, the rates of perspectives attempting to take the position place dropped sharply.

After your next question, she buffers for a while and replies.
”I’m sorry, I don’t know the answer to that.”

She does open the pictures file quite quickly though, showing them mostly organized into folders for different eras of entrees. There’s no video file, and what personal pictures are there are mostly simple drawings and assorted Hos Paint projects.

>>5584961
Do we have a name for our ferryman? May as well look at the files on all three, we might have to interact with them on the way out.
>List of notables locations (population centers, landmarks, facilities, etc.) of hell
>List of notable individuals of hell
>Is there an employee handbook or some sort of a guide to hell?

>>5585287
As you check back on his file for a name, there is only his title. The nameslot is left blank on his, but it's not on the others. Either someone's got a case of bad bookkeeping, it was never written down, or that I'm not letting you get that extra use of Determination that easily. The others are Hank Rutherford LXXIII, and Charon.

"Sure, Here's the most recent handbook, as of <5X> years ago!"
And then an absolute monster (or mayhaps you should say demon?) of a handbook is borderline shoved into your memory. Thankfully, it's in 7 parts (The final 3 layers all being blended into one part, it seems), and you have to zip all but the first to keep from "fainting". You can only manage to keep one part open at a time, and while you could read through it all and cut the chaff from the raw text to actually learn the knowledge within it, it'd take a lot of time you'd rather not spend. As such, you'll only be able to reference knowledge for the current layer.

It'll definitely have everything you were going to ask for in there, but part 1 only concerns Limbo. As such, you ask for the others.

"The current* individuals of note in Limbo are Julius Caesar, current Dictator of Limbo, Marcus…" Her text trails on and on, listing name after name. You’ll recognize anyone important on the list’s name if you can figure out their title, and vice versa. “LXXIII. * Data 5X years out of date.”

“The notable population centers of Limbo are New Troy, which holds the entrance to Lust, and Newer York, which holds the LCCA. Each has many surrounding settlements, dedicated to various means of serving The Lord’s Will or enjoying their time in Hell. Currently, you are in the POOP (Path of Orpheus Observation Post).”

Also, Database questioning is going to end when I get off of work tomorrow.

>>5585338
>"Alexandria, can you give information on the status of the angelic realm (politics, leaders, government, status, ect.)?"
>"And on the realm of hell?"
>"Alexandria, can you give a list of the biggest dangers in hell? Or at the very least things I should watch out for."
>"Alexandria, are you sapient?"
And if yes:
>"Is there any possible way your conscious can be downloaded to a physical machine?"
Last two questions are for fun, I don't actually expect us to get a Siri in our team.

>>5585338
>"Alexandria, are there any other realms than Heaven, Hell, and Earth?
Christians don't know shit about https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seder_hishtalshelus and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Worlds despite the fact that it was part of the religion it branched off of

>>5585616
Although now that I re-read it, those might just be the equivalent of circle of hell but for heaven.

>>5585352
"The Angelic Realm is currently in Turmoil."
"Status Unknown."
"The biggest dangers in Hell are Demons. If you see a rogue Demon while you're alone, defer to a superior."
"No."
>>5585616
"Purgatory, the transient realm between Earth, Hell, and Heaven."

>>5585339
Deciding that you've gotten all you need from this instance of Alexandria, you decide to go back.

>Entrance Logs {Read}
>Requisitions Logs
>Alerts & Proclamations {Read}
>Database {Read}

Or, you could leave the computer for now and check around the room.

>Some of the chairs have things on them, search those?
>Check the desk/computer (You are here)
>The wooden door
>The metal door

>>5586007
>>Some of the chairs have things on them, search those?

>>5586007
>>Some of the chairs have things on them, search those?

>>5586007
>Requisitions Logs

>>5586007

>>5586077
>>5587383
>>5587392

Roll, lads. d100s, for how much stuff is there. 100 is some real nice stuff, and 1 is something actively harmful.

Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>5590518

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>5590518

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>5590518
How bad can it be?

>>5590554
>>5590526
>>5590523

>>5590554
A literal bomb, which you thankfully didn't get. Actually, a 100 might have also been a bomb, just one that didn't go off in your face.

>81
>pretty good, for what amounts to looting a waiting room

You decide to search the chairs, finding that a lot of them have bags. Whether they were left behind due to some kind of regulation, or due to a hurried escape, you don't know. But you do know that you're now the proud owner of a handful of pocket change, a few religious icons (no crucifixes) of widely varying size (what use they would have beyond scrap metal, you don't know, but surely you can think of something?), and a long book in text you cannot make out. You suppose Limbo is the land of "virtuous pagans," so it'd make sense you didn't find anything Christian, as you suppose any that were bad enough to be down here in the first place ended up deeper in.

You also note that the chairs are dusty. The place hasn't been used for a while.

>Some of the chairs have things on them, search those? (You are here) (chairs checked)
>Check the desk/computer (computer checked)
>The wooden door
>The metal door

>>5590788
>>The wooden door

File: 1676937064640748.jpg (115 KB, 585x1024)

115 KB JPG

>>5590788
>Check'd and heil'd
>The wooden door
Unlike the metal door, at least we know this one isn't a gas chamber.

>>5590788
>The wooden door

>>5590788
>>The wooden door

>>5590788
>The wooden door

>>5590826
>>5590834
>>5590851
>>5590901
>>5591223

Past the door is a room split in two: To your left is a horrendously messy... Office? You think? Yes, an office. It took a minute, considering how terribly full of papers it is. There's another desk, of far nicer quality than the last. A bed, nightstand, bookshelf, and dresser are on the other side, all immaculate, and a pair of small alcoves, one holding a kitchenette, and the other holding what's probably a restroom.

>Rifle through the place for keys and information, you still don't know how to get through that big door. You doubt anyone would begrudge it.
>Take everything useful, like knives and whatnot. It won't take long, but someone might miss it.
>Take everything, take apart the kitchenette, tear up the pipes, rip out the wires. It'll take a while and if the place isn't as abandoned as it looks someone's gonna be pissed.

>>5596395
>Rifle through the place for keys and information, you still don't know how to get through that big door. You doubt anyone would begrudge it.

>>5596395
>>Rifle through the place for keys and information, you still don't know how to get through that big door. You doubt anyone would begrudge it.

>>5596395
>>Take everything, take apart the kitchenette, tear up the pipes, rip out the wires. It'll take a while and if the place isn't as abandoned as it looks someone's gonna be pissed.

>>5596395
>Rifle through the place for keys and information, you still don't know how to get through that big door. You doubt anyone would begrudge it.