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What do?
>Arm yourself with a chunk of rubble
>Dive back in the rocket to recover anything useful
>Go exploring
>Something else?

>>5323719
>>Dive back in the rocket to recover anything useful
Fresh underwear, for example.

>>5323720
>Dive back in the rocket to recover anything useful

>>5323720
>Dive back in the rocket to recover anything useful
Pants first, essential survival equipment second
This a oneshot while you take a break or will it be recurring alongside WQ?

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>>5323725
>>5323733
You dive back into the rocket. Surrounded by flames, you snatch up the closest things you can find:
- A pair of space-age tighty whities, made by only the lowest of government bidders. Lightly singed.
- A delicious freeze-dried ice cream sandwich.
- A remarkable high-tech pen, capable of writing on any surface in the most extreme of temperatures. (The godless commies use pencils. Can you imagine?)
You'd try to recover more, but the rocket starts making a screeching noise, and you rush out just in time for the steel supports to collapse in on themselves, rending the rocket's interior inaccessible.

>>5323748
(Probably a one-shot. I have an outline for this one and it doesn't seem like it'll take too long. We'll see how it goes.)

>>5323749
Are we supposed to do something now? Where's the prompt?

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>>5323766
What do?
>Explore your environment
>Investigate the robot
>Eat the ice cream sandwich
>Something else?

>>5323787
>Investigate the robot

>>5323787
>Investigate the robot

>>5323787
>Investigate the robot
It's dead jim

funfact RE pencils, graphite and wood shavings are an electrostatic and fire hazard on board spacecraft, so they use those wood-free ones you click to push out more graphite instead. Both NASA and the Soviets used (and still use) both pens and pencils depending on situational utility.

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>>5323791
>>5323792
>>5323800
You poke the robot with your foot to see if it'll get up. Nah, this thing is scrap metal.
You pry it open with a chunk of ship plating and take a look inside.

The robot's head is filled with a complex mass of delicate glass wires and wafer-thin platinum-iridium chips, submerged in some sort of viscous translucent goop. It's miles more advanced than anything back home.

You can't resist the urge to tinker, so you mutter a half-hearted apology to the dead android and start connecting still-live wires to random ports. You figure out how to make the wheel spin and turn in certain directions, and how to make the hands send out a wicked jolt of electricity.

What do?
>Detach the hands as a makeshift taser
>Take a look through the nearby doors
>Put robot brain in inventory
>Something else?

>>5324064
>Something else?
Put the ice cream sandwich in his head. His motherboard just needs to cool down.

>>5324064
>Empty his head, look at the world through the eyes of a robot

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>>5324067
With the miracle of modern technology, your ice cream sandwich requires no chilling. Unfortunately, this makes it useless as a heat sink.

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>>5324197
You hollow out the robot's head and make yourself a nice Halloween costume.

What do?

>>5324254
>Eat ice cream sandwich
>Detach arm as taser, put in now-empty inventory slot
Welcome back OP. Everybody who plays this should go catch up on Western Quest(ern) immediately, it's one of the best drawquests on the board no joke.

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>>5324257
One of the universe's many miracles is the fact that your ice cream sandwich slides perfectly through the robot's mouth.

What do?

(Thanks anon.)

>>5324262
>Investigate those folders on the table
>Pick up pool cues, combine with robot arm to form TASER SPEAR

>>5324262
>Investigate those folders on the table
>Pick up pool cues, combine with robot arm to form TASER SPEAR
Supporting >>5324270

>>5324270
>>5324462
these but also add the underwear to make it a hybrid slingshot

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>>5324270
>>5324462
Scattered over the floor are what appear to be playing cards and books, made of some kind of fibrous rubbery material. It's in a language you can't read.

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>>5324270
>>5324462
>>5324484
You craft the ROBOCROSSBOW. It is simply badass.

What do?

If this is truly space, where are the alien babes?

>>5325040
>Take Pokeyman trading card
>Exit out top door, looking for alien babes

WHY HAVEN'T WE HAD THE SEX WITH ALIENS YET!?!!
>>5325042
OPEN DOOR! LOOK FOR ALIENS TO BONE!!!

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>>5325060
>>5325064
>>5325066
You head through the door to look for hot alien babes.

You enter a hallway, and are immediately struck by a tremendous gale of wind! Air rushes past you and out through a gaping hole in the wall, leading directly into hard vacuum. You struggle to remain upright - fortunately, your boots have enough grip to keep you from getting sucked into the void.

(1/2)

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There's an alien creature desperately holding onto a broken pipe. It doesn't look like it's having a good time.

What do?

(2/2)

>>5325852
>>5325851
Use the terminal to begin emergency closure procedures to seal the hole. Good luck while we do this, little dude.

>>5325852
Help drag it in, then check for fat milkers and ass-shelf.

>>5325852
Search for something that looks like a fire alarm or zap a smoke sensor. Might bring down some emergency shutters.
The fact that the station does not have automatic airlocks for catastrophic hull breaches does not speak well for xeno construction standards.

>>5325881
>>5325882
>>5325894
>+1
AND IF IT LOOKS LIKE THE LITTLE DUDE IS GOING TO LET GO! JUMP IN AFTER THEM!!!

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>>5325882
>>5326457
You root your feet right in the ground and pull the little fella in with all your might!

(1/3)

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>>5325881
>>5325894
The alien creature yells in a shrill voice and points toward the terminal. Against the vortex of wind, you shuffle to the wall and push the big red button. Suddenly, steel bulkheads slam down on all of the doors in the room, closing the leak!

(2/3)

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Now that the room is closed off, you take a moment to breathe. The alien tries to talk to you, but you don't understand its language, so it just points at the terminal and pantomimes typing.

The alien clicks its teeth 3 times, then 4 times, then 3 times, then 7 times.

What do?
>Type randomly into the terminal
>Try to communicate more with the alien
>Press the button again
>Something else?

(3/3)

>>5326482
Hey, this is a cute little puzzle.
>Remember the symbols on the playing cards from >>5325040 (from top to bottom: 7, 4, 3)
>Type in the symbols for 3, 4, 3, 7 in that order

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>>5326489
Funnily enough before I saw the playing cards I was just gonna treat the keyboard like a regular QWERTY keyboard and type the corresponding number keys (pic related), which looks like it also would've worked.

This being said, I don't think the rest of the keyboard is 1:1 to QWERTY, because that would make the first rectangle in >>5326482 translate to
YNYEQDYJQ. Maybe somebody smarter than me can crack it.

>>5326497
It's not alphabetical either (FYFCAMFQA).

>>5326493
>Something else?
Pick him up so he can type it out.

>>5326536
>Something else?
>Pick him up so he can type it out.
>>5326482

>>5326482
>Something else?
pet our new cute little friend

>>5326482
>pet our new cute little friend
Do this: >>5326489

>>5326482
>Check out the pokemoon card
I hope space combat is resolved through monster cards. A civilized duel for civilized times.
>Shrug and pick up Stitch so he can type whatever he wants into the terminal
>Hand him the super-pen so he can draw us a cheat sheet on the wall

can't believe I haven't seen this quest before, fuuuuuuuuu-

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>>5326489
You plug in the four numbers you figured out from the playing cards. The terminal emits a pleasant beep.

>>5326536
>>5326539
>>5327211
You pick up the alien and hold it up to the terminal. It's about to put in the password, but you've already entered it, so it just turns back towards you.

You give the alien your incredible space-age pen. After admiring the pen's impeccable craftsmanship, the alien makes a rough doodle on the wall.

>>5327161
>>5327179
You pet the alien. It gnashes its teeth cheerfully.

What do?
>Hit the terminal with a chunk of rubble
>Try to pull off the little mechanical dongle above the screen
>Play solitaire
>Something else?

>>5327384
Is it saying that we should upgrade the robot head with the camera parts, or that the robot(s) watch us via the camera?

>Show alien the robot head, see how it reacts

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>>5327211
>Check out the pokemoon card

>>5327384
>hold the alien robot's head up to the camera

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>>5327387
The alien point to the robot's eyes, then to the little camera. Then it points from the antenna to the sensor looking thing.

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>>5327405
You think you get what's going on. You put the robot's eye up to the camera, and there's a whirring noise as it scans the eye. Ding! The terminal accepts the input. You repeat with the antenna to the small sensor, and the terminal leaves the login screen and enters a more detailed grid of options.

You just hold up the alien to the terminal and let it type stuff in. Once it's done, a cartridge of some sort drops from the chute.

(1/2)

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The alien points to the roof of its mouth.

What do?

>>5327435
>Mime injecting the cartridge into the roof of our mouth
>If the alien seems approving, do so
>If not, inject it into the alien's mouth
Looks like some kind of translator doohickey.

>>5327436
Oh wait it's just saying it'll let us speak, probably.
>Also mime injecting it into a normal place, like our wrist, gauge reaction

>>5327438
Yeah, dont wanna hurry surgery.

>>5327436
Support.

>>5327435
>Talk at the device
>Ask him if he knows english
>Ask if the alien alphabet is just english letters conveniently substituted with images

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>>5327997
You talk to the device. It doesn't seem much for conversation.

You ask the alien very slowly if it hablo Englisho. It cocks its head and smiles questioningly.

Through a series of interpretative dances, you ask the alien if its language is just English but with different letters. It replies that it totally is, but this will be more convenient than having to tediously translate everything. We're all about convenience in this quest.

(1/3)

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>>5327436
>>5327438
>>5327537
>>5327552
You confirm several times that the cartridge is supposed to be injected into your mouth, not your wrist or the alien's mouth. Then you pop open your helmet and slip the device through - which was a big mistake, because you're immediately assaulted by a face full of horrible piss fumes. This atmosphere is full of ammonia!

You cough until your throat is sore. Fortunately, the rudimentary life support system on your back slowly filters out the ammonia. But don't pull that stunt again if you want to keep your lungs intact.

You place the device against the roof of your mouth and, with nervously shaking fingers, deploy the syringe. SHUNK!
...It doesn't hurt as much as you thought it would. You feel a dull pain in your mouth and an unpleasant backup of liquid in your sinuses. Your vision gets kind of static-y, then resolves - and you find that you can understand the alien's speech.

(2/3)

>>5328211
>Ask him if he can understand us now as well - he took no syringe and appeared confused before.

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"Hello? Can you understand me now?" the alien says.
"Yes," you mumble, because your mouth is filling with blood, and you're a little distressed. "Can you understand me?"
The alien jumps with joy. "Yes! We can talk!"

The jubilee is cut short when something starts cutting through the bulkhead leading to the hallway.

What do?
>Press the big red button
>Quickly ask the alien stuff
>Prepare your crossbow taser
>Something else?

>>5328219
>Prepare your crossbow taser
>Glance at the console to see what the alien language has translated to-- if there's something like "ACTIVATE SECURITY" do so

>>5328219
>>Quickly ask the alien stuff

> The jubilee is cut short when something starts cutting through the bulkhead leading to the hallway.
Ask what that is.

>>5328219
>Something else?
Ask about the other three prisoners cells and if we should open them.

>>5328219
>Prepare your crossbow taser
>Tell Stitch to get behind you so he doesn't give QM an opportunity to kill him off for shock value

>>5328219
>Quickly ask the alien stuff
>Watch out for the SPACE MONKEYS!

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>>5328221
>Glance at the console
Currently on screen are several options: Deposit Sustenance, Deposit Translation Nanobots, Deposit Medical Nanobots, Deposit Entertainment Module, Release Tranquilizer Gas, Open/Close Bulkheads, Open/Close Force Fields, and Security Alert. That last button is already activated.

>>5328227
>Ask what that is
“That’s most likely a robotic enforcer, come to wrangle me back in my room and you out of the airlock,” the alien says. “Fun times!”

>>5328269
>Ask about the other three prisoners
Your companion pouts. “They aren’t very fun to hang around with. Downright depressing, in fact. But you can free them if you want.”

>>5328770
>Tell Stitch to get behind you
“My name’s Garnash! And okay, but I want a front-row seat!”

>>5328792
>Watch out for the SPACE MONKEYS!
“What’s a monkey?” the alien asks.
“It’s a fur-covered mammal with a long prehensile tail, big circular ears, and a sort of roundish snout.”
“Oh, so like a Jaxtian.”
“What’s a Jaxtian?”

Metal fingers jam through the crack in the bulkhead and pry open a hole with the sickening creak of steel. A glowing red eye pokes through the hole.
“ATTENTION ALL PRISONERS. RETURN TO YOUR CELLS AT ONCE OR FACE PUNISHMENT.”
The eye roams around the room, focusing on the dead robot on the floor, then on you.
“TWO SERVITOR UNITS PRESENT. RESPOND TO PINGS.”

What do?
>Zap it with your taser
>Open one of the prisoners’ doors
>Try to bluff the enforcer
>Something else?

>>5330794
>Deactivate Security Alert
>Put on the robot head
>Pretend to put the alien back in its enclosure until the security bot leaves

>>5330794
>“Oh, so like a Jaxtian.”
Lynchpin of the /qst/ extended universe, here. I dig it.

>>5330794
>Try to bluff the enforcer
"Ping! Ping! It's me, a Servitor Unit (Tm) (C) (R)! Everything's totally chill here, brobot."

>>5330794
>>5330800
>>5330935
and if all else fails: hold tight and open the bulkhead back

>>5330794
>Open all of the prisoners’ doors

>>5330794
>OPEN FORCE FIELDS
>DISABLE SECURITY ALERT

>>“Oh, so like a Jaxtian.”
Oh no. NO.

>>5330794
>Open one of the prisoners’ doors

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>>5330800
>>5330935
>>5330958
>>5331207
In your greatest act of trickery yet, you don the robot head and pick up Garnash.
"Now, get back in your cell pronto, and I don't want to hear any more complaining, or it's the airlock for you, buddy!"
"SERVITOR UNIT 10027F, RESPOND."
"Oh, hey there! Sorry, I was busy wrangling the prisoners. Everything's fine, I've got this."
"ARE YOU SURE? HULL BREACH DETECTED IN CELL 1L. PRISONER ESCAPE POSSIBLE."
"Nope, false alarm. Everyone's still here; you can count 'em."
"HMM... FOUR PRISONERS DETECTED. HM. MUST HAVE BEEN SPACE LIMPETS AGAIN. CONTINUE WITH YOUR DUTIES."
The hulking robot leaves.

(1/2)

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>>5330994
>>5331207
>>5331527
You open the blast doors, except for the one that leads into hard vacuum. Then you shut down the force fields, which makes the shining magenta walls on each door vanish.

In the first cell, you see a small moth-like creature frantically squirm away from you and curl up into a defensive position. Its quivers in abject terror, tears welling in its eyes. "Please don't kill me!" it whimpers. "I have a wife and eggs!"

A squat shelled creature sits in the second cell. Its eyes turn to regard you with complete disinterest. Then it sighs and turns back towards the wall, staring at nothing.

The last cell contains a rather tall alien with three heads and six wriggling tentacles. "Oh! We've been freed!" one of the heads says. "Don't step outside yet," another says. "We'd be indebted towards our rescuer, and we don't have the capital to afford any more favors." "Especially considering the unknown nature of this new factor, and its relationship to our captors," the other head adds. Then the alien starts talking to itself about game theory and return on investment in a way that makes your head spin.

What do?
>Talk to an alien
>Ash Garnash about them
>Just leave
>Something else?

>>5332149
>Ash Garnash about them
Still no alien babes...what a shame.

>>5332149
>Talk to an alien

>>5332149
>Ask the whimp how he even got himself arrested.
>Talk to hydralien, ask their names.
Seems like the only reasonable one(plural) here.

Please don't feed the coomers QM. Don't let this one-shot fall victim to lowest of quest players.

>>5332149
>Ask Garnash about them
>Talk to an alien

Once he's told us a bit about them, we'll know who'll be the best first chat.

>>5332149
>Talk to the Beta-Moth

>>5332203
It is called a joke™ my fellow autistic anon

>>5332697
says every coomer before derailing a quest with their bullshit

>>5332938
I cast my vote in favour of derailing the short wacky comedy quest with bullshit. :)

>>5332940
+1
Where is my cartoon alien babe lewds awooga awooga

>>5332203
Oh yeah, +1

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>>5332166
>>5332538
“So, Garnash,” you say, “what are these guys like?”
“I dunno! We’ve been here together for a while, but they aren’t very interesting. Although I must admit, the fuzzy one over there might be fun to play with.” Garnash grins broadly at the moth alien, who only recoils further in panic.
“Well,” you continue, “do you know their names?”
“Nope!”

>>5332176
>>5332203
>>5332538
>>5332566
You approach the trembling bug. “Gee, how’d you end up here? You don’t seem like the troublemaker type.”
The alien finds the courage to speak up. “I-I’m not! I’m only here because the Sylithians captured my ship on my way home! Please don’t hurt me, they took everything! I’ve got nothing!”
You’re a bit surprised. “Is this not some sort of prison ship?” you ask.
Garnash butts in: “Yeah, I think pretty much all of us just got scooped up by the Sylithians. Every ship they come across, no matter what, they just teleport the whole crew into their brig and shuttle us to one of their holding facilities! It’s a real pain, I’ll tell you that.”
“What for?” you say nervously. “What do they do to you afterwards?”
“I dunno. I don’t pay attention to politics.”

>>5332176
>>5332203
>>5332538
You turn to the three-headed alien, which stops talking and looks at you expectantly.
“Er, hello. What’s your name(s)?”
“We’re Ji,” “Ki,” “and Li,” the three heads say in sequence. You immediately forget which one is which. “Although you can call our combined unit Jkli for convenience.”

“Well, we’ve provided the alien with our names,” one of the heads says to the others, “so I think proper recordkeeping is needed.” “I agree. So…” The heads face you again. “Mr./Mrs./Mrf. Alien, we’ve decided to enter into a formal relationship with you.” “On account of our present lack of fluidity…” “thanks to our ever so gracious Sylithian hosts…” “we’ll be quantizing our dealings not in terms of the energy credits you may be used to,” “but the more primitive currency of favors.” “The standard galactic favor, naturally.”

Ji, Ki, and Li smile pleasantly. “We’re aware of your opening of the door, Mr. Alien.” “But given our lack of knowledge of your capabilities, combat or otherwise,” “the risk of punishment from the Sylithians is too high for the expected gain.” “You’ll have to prove to us that accompanying you would be a worthwhile investment.” “Although we’d be happy to exchange from within our cell, for the moment.”

(1/2)

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“In fact”, one of the heads says, producing a small bag of liquid, “I may have something you may like.”
The other heads quickly pull out their own items. “Hey, we agreed to wait until we were done talking!”

You have -50 millifavors.
Jkli says, "We prefer to store our value in more concrete terms, like objects and information, so please keep your favors as close to zero as possible."
>Bag of space pruno – 200 mF – A pungent bag of fermented fruit. Guaranteed at least 0.1% ethanol!
>Poster of Troll Rita Hayworth – 375 mF – If you ever find a rock hammer, it’ll be perfect for hiding hull breaches.
>Comically large spoon – 650 mF – Standard prison-issue.

Jkli looks in your inventory and appraises your items. “We could use some of these,” they say. “Although we’d be loath to go into serious debt to a friendly fellow like you, and not repay it immediately.”
>Trading card – 225 mF
>Robocrossbow – 2000 mF
>Pen – 525 mF
>Robot head – 650 mF

“We’re also willing to talk about ourselves, the other captives, and the galaxy as a whole,” Jkli says, “for 200 mF a question.”

“You seem like a cosmopolitan sort of sophont,” one of the heads says. “We’d be willing to pay, let’s say, up to 800 mF, if you’d be kind as to supply us with information on your species, homeworld, technology—”
Another of the heads interjects. “Li, you don’t have to burn favors on every ammonia-breathing creature willing to tell you its name and address. Gee, I wonder what the alien’s gonna say – it lives on a continental world, and its biology is carbon-based, and its planet is named after dirt!”
“Shut up, Ki,” the first head gripes. “If you don’t care so much, then go stick your head over there in the toilet so you won’t have to listen!”
The head you assume to be Ji intervenes. “Calm down! Maybe the alien has good info. You never know, maybe their species solved the halting problem and never told anyone.”
“Fine,” Ki grumbles. “But Li, you owe me 4.66 creds for this.”

What do?
>Buy stuff
>Sell stuff
>Ask stuff
>Something else?

(2/2)

>>5333722
Wait, do we have... NEGATIVE millifavors, somehow?

But of course. We requested the name, and were provided it, although the price was not negotiated beforehand. How uncivilized. That said, we don't need this junk right now. We aren't going to cook pruno on a spoon.

> What will they pay for the castor on the robot?

> Empty spare robot body and put some sort of straps around it to make a backpack to expand inventory. (I guess the spare wires might work as ties?)

> Order mothbeing to state its name, occupation, and skillset.

> Leave Oscar the Grouch Toilet alone.

>>5333894
I can support this action plan.

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>>5333894
>What will they pay for the castor on the robot?
"We'll give 650 per head, 100 for each body, and 50 for legs. 325 for the first arm, and 80 for each one afterwards. They have to be relatively intact, of course."

>Empty spare robot body and put some sort of straps around it to make a backpack
You disassemble the dead robot's body, then pull out all of the random electronics from its severed torso to construct a sort of backpack.
You've already got something on your back, though, so you just turn the torso into a fanny pack.

>Order mothbeing to state its name, occupation, and skillset
You stomp in front of the furry bug and scream "UP AND AT EM, SOLDIER! NAME, OCCUPATION, SKILLSET?!"
The alien practically shits bricks, but it responds immediately. "My n-name is Asatha! I'm just a fiberworm farmer! The only thing I know how to do is plumb hydroponics!"

>Leave Oscar the Grouch Toilet alone
The bowl-shaped creature doesn't seem interested in you anyway.

What do?
>Explore more of the ship
>Mess with the terminal
>Try to convince the aliens to follow you
>Something else?

>>5335088
Let's explore

>>5335088
>Explore more of the ship
>Invite the aliens to follow if they want to

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>>5335103
>>5335142
You open the door leading out of the cell block. You invite the others to explore with you, but only Garnash takes your offer.

"I don't want to get caught out of my cell..." Asatha whimpers. "I don't know what the Sylithians will do to me, and I don't want to find out!"

Jkli is a little more pragmatic. "We don't see any guards or servitors nearby," says one head, "but that enforcer won't be gone for long", says another. "It'll bring backup." "And you, my alien friend, are not going to enjoy the smell of plasma-cooked flesh."
However, they do step out of their cell. "Regardless, we do appreciate the chance to stretch our limbs. How about 1105 mF for opening the door?"

You now have 1055 millifavors.

As Jkli starts tinkering with the remains of the robot, you head to what Garnash informs you was the rec room. "My beautiful house of cards!" the toothy alien cries.
Seeing as the rec room is exactly as wrecked as the last time you were here, you continue through to the showers.

You boots splash through puddles of water. The fan in your life support unit whines hard... you smell just a hint of bitter almonds.
Garnash tells you that the next room is the cafeteria ("My favorite room!").
You glance through the window and see something enter the cafeteria! You duck down before they can spot you – fortunately, it seems like whoever's in there is busy for the moment.

What do?
>Search the room
>Peek into the cafeteria
>Ask Garnash about stuff
>Something else?

>>5335207
>Peek into the cafeteria

>>5335207
>Raid the lockers
>Ask Garnash if the enforcers have any weakspots
>Dip the tip of ROBOCROSSBOW in the bowl for viral and corrosive damage
>"These doors are... ඞ."

>>5335438
Someone plays Warframe

>>5335454
Used to. Dropped it when the plains of kekolon were invented.

>>5335207
>Search the room
>Ask Garnash about him(?)self

>>5335207
Check out the lockers

>>5335207
>Peek into the cafeteria

>>5333722
>spoon
He he he

>>5335207
>Peek into the cafetaria

>>5335207
Oh, and in addition to >>5335505
>But the alien babe Homestuck poster

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>>5335438
>Ask Garnash if the enforcers have any weakspots
"I dunno! They're always real friendly to me. Maybe they think I'm cute? Try being cute!"

>Dip the tip of ROBOCROSSBOW in the bowl for viral and corrosive damage
You snap off a leg from one of the flimsy plastic benches, dip it in a toilet, and load the foul projectile. The impact of this bolt will be both physical and spiritual.

>"These doors are... ඞ."
A certain trap beat plays in your head.

>>5335438
>>5335617
>Raid the lockers
The lockers are, appropriately enough, locked.
Garnash sees you struggling to pull open the doors and comes over. "These are the prisoners' lockers!" the alien says. "They only open for us four prisoners, and probably the robots too."
Your companion places one hand(?) on the handle. There's a *beep* and the locker clicks open, revealing a spare prisoner outfit, a chewed-up bone (genuine, not rubber), and some sort of device blinking in several different colors.
"What's with the blinking thing?" you ask.
"I grabbed it from a robot while I was being taken in! I just like how shiny and colorful it is."
You elect not to think too hard about this statement.

>>5335505
>Search the room
You find some dropped soap, which you add to your inventory.

>Ask Garnash about him(?)self
"I was our tribe’s firetender! After a good hunt, we all gather round the fire and sing and dance and stuff. It’s pretty fun!” Garnash does a little dance, presumably to demonstrate.
“One day, a spaceship came down from the sky and these three big long rock dudes with lotsa legs came out. Said they were on a research mission. They didn’t seem very happy to be there, but we played together, and the surviving two rock guys said that they actually liked us – and they said that they don’t say that too often, or at all! So we picked out some of us to be, I guess ambassadors? I was one of them!” Garnash beams with the pride of a thousand lions.
“They wanted to bring us on their mission, maybe go back to their homeworld to hang out, probably. Then the Sylithians came along and teleported us into their big holding cell ships, then blew up the rock guys’ ship. Then we got split up, and now I’m in this little shuttle, bound for a ‘holding facility’, the robots’ own words.” Garnash frowns in thought. “That’s about it.”

(1/2)

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>>5335432
>>5336576
>>5337233
You peek into the door leading to the cafeteria. You're surprised to find a pair of eyes peeking back at you.

What do?
>Retreat to the cell block
>Charge the powersuited alien while it's distracted
>Negotiate your safe release for 1 (one) alien babe Homestuck poster
>Something else?

(2/2)

>>5337590
>Charge the powersuited alien while it's distracted
Charge him. With the Toilet Bolt through the sus window.

>>5337590
>Negotiate your safe release for 1 (one) alien babe Homestuck poster

>>5337590
>Sing him he song of our people

>>5337902
we can all agree thats this one, right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

>>5337597
>>5337902
+1

>>5337590
>Sing him he song of our people
>Negotiate your safe release for 1 (one) alien babe Homestuck poster (and a song, non-refundable, already redeemed by dint of him hearing it)

>>5337590

>Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

>Consider dishonorably shooting it in the face with a taser crossbow.

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>>5337595
>>5339398
You kick in the door and nail the hulking lizardman with a poop-soaked dart.

The alien retreats into the cafeteria, panicking and wiping toilet water off its face. It effortlessly flips a nearby table, then ducks for cover, with only its eyes and plasma caster peeking out from behind. Its robotic henchmen take point.

>>5337597
>>5338284
You advance into the cafeteria, chest puffed and crossbow ready to taze.
“Alien entity!” you shout. “As a citizen of the advanced civilization of planet Earth, I command you to return me to my home planet safely and immediately, else you suffer the wrath of humanity!” You shoot your taser in the air, just to show that you ain’t messing around.

The reptilian soldier reacts poorly. “Oh fuck, it’s finally happening,” you hear it mutter. “It’s a prisoner riot! They didn’t train me for this!” Then it peeks back at you, trembling, and you watch as it suddenly realizes that you aren’t a prisoner.
“Wait. Who the hell are you? And why are you on this ship?!” the alien yells, still with a tinge of anxiety. “By order of the Sylithian Concord, trespassing on prisoner vessels is punishable by indefinite incarceration! Stand down or we will shoot!”

“So you won’t just drop me off back at Earth?” you ask.
“What? No!”
“What if I offer you a poster of Troll Rita Hayworth?”
Your foe briefly considers this. Then it says, “Wait! That’s my poster!”

>>5337902
>>5337909
>>5338284
>>5339398
In an attempt to sway your captor, you belt out one of Earth’s most famous songs.
“Shit!” the armored thug says to itself. “This alien really is never going to give up this escape thing!”
One of the robots mutters to its master, “AT LEAST IT PROMISES NOT TO LIE, OR TO HURT YOU.”

Jkli’s heads pop out through the door. “We heard something about Troll Rita Hayworth?”

What do?
>Buy information on Sylithians from Jkli
>Buy information on this particular Sylithian
>Convince the guard that you’ll be more trouble on the ship than off it
>Grab Jlki by the neck(s) and throw them into the cafeteria. ”Hey, you want your poster back? Here it is!”
>Something else?

>>5339566
>>Buy information on Sylithians from Jkli
>>Buy information on this particular Sylithian
Tell it facts about humans and our favorite songs if we need to make up the difference in microfavors.

>>5339566
>Buy information on this particular Sylithian

>>5339566
>Buy information on Sylithians from Jkli
>Buy information on this particular Sylithian
>Convince the guard that you’ll be more trouble on the ship than off it

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>>5339573
>>5339574
>>5339644
>Buy information on Sylithians
You spend 200 millifavors, bringing you to 855 mF.

“The Sylithians evolved from solitary herbivores who survived by their tools and weapons. Being small, weak, and ungraced with the gift of natural defenses, they had to use their minds to avoid the bloodthirsty predators that stalked their homeworld.”

“These shrewd lizards primarily employed a hit-and-run strategy to lead aggressors through spike traps and barbed barriers, whereupon they could finish off the exhausted beast with a spear to the noggin. And it worked! Over just a handful of millennia, the Sylithians extirpated every remotely threatening animal, plant, fungus, and pythezoid from their planet, leaving only themselves and their fruit trees.”

“Their handiworks are much more advanced these days, and gene modification has ensured that every Sylithian has a peak-performance tank of a body, but the basic mentality remains: flee at the first sight of danger, let your tools do the dirty work, and ensure that no threat remains.”

“Even being a relatively young species, an inherent skill with technology and a brutally militaristic culture gives the Sylithians frightening power. They wield the best-equipped fleet in this region of the galaxy, the combined manpower of their robotic armies is unmatched, and they command incredible influence – though they almost never engage in diplomacy, preferring to strike first and ask questions never. It’s clear that, at least in these stars, the Sylithian Concord is king.”

“And what tyrants these kings are. Whenever they come across any sort of alien presence, they absolutely, positively cannot rest until that alien presence is gone. And given their preference for permanent solutions, they have a nasty habit of conquering occupying planets and purging the residents – leading to entire races getting smeared across the cosmos.”

(1/2)

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>Buy information on this particular Sylithian
You spend 200 millifavors, bringing you to 655 mF.

“Some notes on the culture. Sylithians are territorial and dislike the company of their own kind; they can only stand the presence of their own works. Which is why this whole prisoner shuttle contains only three-ish Sylithians accompanied by an endless cohort of robots.”

“But as it happens, they hate the presence of non-Sylithians even more. Which is why they almost compulsively blast every alien ship to pieces.”

“But as it happens, they have a whole thing against killing. Despite their extensive genemods, the Sylithians are still obligate frugivores as they’ve always been. They’ve got a weird little creed about it; goes something like ‘We shall never stoop to the level of the primitive, bloodthirsty predators surrounding us, yadda yadda yadda…’ Try to justify meat-eating to one and it’ll talk your ear off. But I digress: the salient point is, the Sylithians will never kill you.”

“But that doesn’t mean they won’t maim you. Their plasma casters are designed to inflict debilitating pain, as well as instant cauterization. Plus, they usually go for the limbs. Tangle with a Sylithian and you’ll soon find yourself without a leg to stand on.”

“But it’s easy to avoid that. Just let them get away. Sylithians never fight if they have robotic backup and an escape route; they prefer to let their henchbots handle everything while they hide somewhere nice and fortified. If you want a Sylithian to leave, scare him out of the room. But never corner him.”

“That’s an awful lot of generalizations,” the Sylithian in the room says.

“This guy’s name is Prache,” Jkli says. “He’s 28 years old. He lives on Sylith Colony 122-G, Regional Sector 7C, and he works as a prisoner shuttle warden for the Sylithian Defense Fleet. He likes fizzy fermented beverages, hiking up Mount Ata’lydallyh, and watching double sunsets on the beach.”

“How did you know that?” Prache replies, feeling vaguely threatened.

“It was on your dating profile.”

What do?
>Convince Prache that you’ll be more trouble on the ship than off it
>Run at him while screaming and waving your weapon
>Ask Jkli about the robots
>Something else?

(2/2)

>>5342992
>Try to teach Prache the non-aggression principle

>>5342992
>Ask Jkli why he looked at Prache's dating profile

>>5342992
>"Hey, is there a jacket that can zip up in one of those lockers?"
>See if you can scare him like a bear, by putting on the jacket, then opening up the jacket to look bigger.

>Convince Prache that he's on a ship full of criminal xenos and that he'll be safer off the ship.

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>>5343015
“The non-aggression principle (NAP), also called the non-aggression axiom, is a concept in which aggression, defined as initiating or threatening any forceful interference (violating or breaching conduct) against either an individual, their property or against promises (contracts) for which the aggressor is liable and in which the individual is a counterparty, is inherently wrong.”
“Well, I disagree.”
“Okay.”

>>5343020
“He is rather attractive, no?”

>>5344211
“Wouldn’t you be safer off this ship full of dangerous criminal xenos, who are desperate enough to do anything to leave?”
“Well, alien, I would love to be able to go home and spend the rest of my life chugging splango juice and watching the afternoon frungy game. But there are a few factors to consider: one, non-compliance means I would be locked up just like you. Two, I hate the idea of you creatures running around threatening our way of life just as much as my compatriots. Three, if I weren’t here to keep an eye on things in person, either you aliens would destroy the robots and take over the ship, or the robots would go rogue, process you into paperclips, and turn the ship into a roving hivemind node.”
“WE WOULDN’T DO THAT, BOSS.”

The Sylithian snarls impatiently. “Enough talk. Robots, incapacitate this intruder NOW!”
The two enforcers advance on you quickly, but you retreat back to the showers, almost bowling over the voyeurs in the doorway in your haste.

(1/2)

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>>5343190
Prache steps into the room shortly after his henchbots, plasma caster armed and ready. He looks around, but doesn’t see where you went – at least, not until you pop out from behind the lockers screaming and waving around Garnash’s spare uniform.
“AAAAAAAAAA!” you shriek.
“AAAAAAAAAA!” Prache shrieks, in a much less intimidating tone than yours. He flees back into the cafeteria, but not before firing his gun at you. The blob of plasma flies just over your head, scorching a hole through the uniform.
“My uniform!” bemoans Garnash. “I wasn’t gonna wear it, but… I might have wanted to later!”

One of the robots fires a massive arc of electricity at you! There’s a flash of light – and nothing happens, except for the fillings in your teeth buzzing uncomfortably. The charge must have bounced harmlessly off your suit.

Without their commander, the robots seem a little lost. They look at each other in confusion, their weapons still pointed square at you.
“STANDARD SHOCK INCAPACITATION INEFFECTIVE,” the one with the drill arm drones. “NOW WHAT? IN ADDITION, ALL PRISONER CELLS HAVE BEEN FILLED.”
The one with the blaster says, “ALIEN SPECIES UNKNOWN. POSSIBLE SOLUTION: REMOVAL OF LIMBS, FOLLOWED BY STORAGE IN LOCKBOX.”

As the robots make for your precious moving-bits, you cry out, “Your boss wouldn’t want you to kill me, right?!”
“MEDICAL NANOBOTS WILL BE APPLIED TO STABILIZE THE AMPUTATION WOUNDS. DON’T BE A BABY.”

What do?
>Try to escape to the cell block
>Convince them that you can’t survive without your limbs
>Tell them that your suit can’t be breached without killing you
>Something else?

(2/2)

>>5344424
>Tell them that your suit can’t be breached without killing you
I think it's actually true!

>Make an exception if they give you sweet robot limbs and super lungs

It's the only humane alternative.

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>>5344424
>Convince them robots fit in the box PERFECTLY and require less cleaning (blood) and resources (for cauterization) to put apart than a fleshling. Therefore, you should box THEM to be peak EFFICIENT
The way to a robot's heart is through its programming
>Actually look for another suit for Garnash (no helmet)
We'll make a perfect team in matching clothes.
>Convince Jkli to swipe right on Prache
The pacifist strat
>the fillings in your teeth buzzing uncomfortably
I felt this.
>>5344422
>“He is rather attractive, no?”
Sweet, maybe we can end this peacefully after all.

>>5344424
>Convince them that you can’t survive without your limbs
Tell them that if they amputate our limbs, we'll die from shock even if they stabilize us with nanobots. They don't know about humanity enough to be sure.

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>>5344424
>Something else?
Do what the poster tells you and watch the sparks fly!

Use the robocrosbow to cut off some of their limbs, then say this is what their victims feel like all the time so that they understand the full extent of the cruelty of their ways.

>>534424
>Ask the robots to tell you about themselves

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>>5345346
You rap one of the robots on the arm with the pool cue.
“This is what it feels like to have your arm severed!”
“DOESN’T SEEM TOO BAD.”

>>5345722
“LET’S SAVE THE CONVERSATION FOR ANOTHER TIME. LIKE ONCE YOU’RE IMMOBILIZED.”

>>5344481
>>5344559
>>5345168
>>5345304
You try to argue that there’s no way to safely amputate your limbs.
“We humans can’t lose body parts!” you say. “Our blood flows too fast and the vessels in there are too big! There’s simply no way for the nanobots to close the wounds quickly enough before we bleed out.”
“WELL, UH, THE NANOBOTS WORK FAST—”
“And another thing! The atmosphere in here is highly toxic to my species! Humans can’t breathe ammonia, we can only breathe oxygen! And only in very high concentrations!”
“BUT WE DON’T HAVE ANY OXYGEN!” the robots say.
“You should’ve thought of that before you decided to cut off my limbs, then. Because that would mean cutting through my suit, which is a delicate piece of equipment designed to filter out all of the toxic chemicals in the air and keep me alive!”
“WELL… UM. UH…”
You strike while the iron’s hot.
“And! Let’s be real – all of this warden business, all this cutting off of limbs and packing people into boxes: it’s all so messy and inefficient, is it not? You guys are nice and cubical, you’d fit into a lockbox perfectly fine. But I’m organic and squishy, so there’d be an awful lot of wasted space, right? Not to mention the blood contamination that’s spread all over the nice clean decks if you amputated anything.”
“I GUESS…”
“WAIT, STOP! YOU’RE TRYING TO CONFUSE US!”
“Am I? Or are my words just ringing too true for you to hear? If you don’t believe me, it’s as true as the statement ‘this statement is false’.”
“I… UM…”
“OKAY, THAT’S NOT… WAIT… UH, IS IT? UM…”
“STAY HERE, HUMAN. WE NEED TO GO CONSULT OUR SUPERIOR.”
The two robots leave, arguing with each other about your words.

What do?
>Explore the cafeteria
>Go back to the cell block
>Talk with someone
>Inspect the tail flopping around
>Something else?

>>5347774
>Inspect the tail flopping around

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>>5347776
The tail is roughly the size of your arm. It's writhing vigorously, making quite the racket as the armored appendage clangs against the metal flooring.
On the big end, you can see with unnerving clarity the Sylithian's oozing severed flesh. At least it's not splattering blood everywhere.

You're no xenobiologist, so there doesn't seem like a whole lot you can do with this right now.

What do?
>Keep it as a trophy
>Take out the meat and wear the armor as a helmet
>Ask Jkli about it
>Something else?

>>5347785
Gross
>Take out the meat and wear the armor as butt protection (wear it as tail)
>Throw meat out in the space

>>5347785
>Ask Jkli about it
>>5347817
how df we gonna put it, stoopid. There ain't nothing to put.

>>5347890
To put it simply, idk what is that you want to "put". As you said yourself, there is nothing to put. You silly anon.

>>5347785
>Ask Jkli about it

>>5347785
Pick it up and put it on our belt. We can use the tail later as a club if the other prisoners are aggressive.

>>5347776

> After doing whatever our schizo mind wants to do with the tail, acquire a table to use as a towering table-shield.

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>>5347817
You go back to the cell block and throw the meaty bit into the vacuum of space. You can't wear the armor on your tail, though – you're about 25 million years too late for that.

>>5347890
>>5347956
You go back to the cafeteria and ask Jkli about it.
"Sylithians instinctually drop their tails as a means of distracting their enemy. Their tail armor has lots of small laser blasters built in, allowing it to shoot chaotically around the room while its Sylithian owner escapes. They also have a remotely detonated explosive, but it seems Prache neglected to arm either before he left."
"As it happens," Jkli says, "We're something of a tinkerer. For a modest fee of 3000 mF, we can break down and reassemble this tail armor into either: three weak pocket lasguns, two simple grenades, or a set of armor. There's enough material here to fully clothe someone small like Asatha or Garnash, or provide a decent flak vest to us or you."

You have 655 mF.

>>5348006
The tail is pretty big, so you drop your trading card and soap to make room.

>>5348664
The tables are way too big to put in your inventory. You could push them around and use them as cover, but it'd get annoying quickly. Plus, they don't even fit through the doors without breaking off all their legs.

What do?
>Buy some gear
>Explore the cafeteria some more
>Mess with the cell block terminal
>Talk to people
>Something else?

You actually have 555 mF, spending 100 on the appraisal.

> Regret dropping the soap in this shower/locker room. Neglect to bend down and pick it up.

>>5349530
>Sell the tail to Jkli for 3000mF, now that we know how much they value the components for.
Easy money

>>5349567
but is it not money that only work on them?

>>5349652
Yeah, but at then maybe we can cash that in fir continued aid/advice.

>>5349567
Ehh...I'd rather keep it and get some guns eventually. For now, let's store it.

>>5349530
Thanks, but I’d rather just keep the tail to beat people over the head with it. I wouldn’t mind you removing the explosive material so I don’t blow my hand off, though. Let me know what other stuff you might need for building items.

>>5349780
Damnit, I just realized we could have stabbed our pen into the meat part of the tail to free up an inventory slot and prevent Jkli from stealing it or our (possibly rare) trading card!

If it's hollow, presumably we could use it as a cornucopia to store the small items.

>>5349780
I'd rather not keep an item that takes up TWO inventory slots. We already have the mecha crossbow.
>>5349731
*weak pocket lasguns
In this case I propose we throw it into Garnash' locker until we get 3k+.

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>>5349547
You've seen enough TV to know not to retrieve the soap.

>>5349567
The 3000 mF fee includes Jkli disassembling the tail, building the equipment, and giving them back to you. You can sell the tail itself to them for 800 mF, but then you'd have to directly buy whatever they make.

>>5349852
You could use it to store stuff, but you might randomly drop them. The tail is not a fantastic container, on account of being all floppy.

>>5349731
>>5349780
>>5350102
You decide to store the tail in Garnash's locker for now.

What do?
>Explore more of the area
>Inspect the terminal
>Ask Jkli about other things he'd be willing to buy
>Something else?

>>5351180
>Inspect the terminal

>>5351180
> Obtain the comically large fork

>>5351180
>FOCUS
What were we supposed to do here again..?
>Inspect the terminal

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>>5351206
You obtain the tragically normal-sized fork.

>>5351186
>>5351256
You use your robot head to log into the terminal in the same way as before. It brings up a list of options.

What do?
>See what the options do
>Ask Garnash about it
>Leave the terminal and look through the door windows
>Something else?

>>5352419
>Press all the "obtain sustenance" buttons
>Sell sustenance to Jkli
I think the gameplan is to clothe Garnash with the 3k and then activate the tranq gas to get rid of the lizards. Robots probably won't do anything without being commanded.

>>5352419
>Order a schlomato slice
>Try out waste disposal mode on something we don't care about, like the fork

>>5352419
>Press all the "obtain sustenance" buttons
>Eat sustenance
sus tenants in our body

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>>5352427
Clunk! A hard orange-ish slice of fruit(?) is deposited from the hopper. It's about the size of your hand and slightly rubbery, almost like cartilage.

You activate waste disposal mode and toss the fork down the chute. With an ear-grinding noise, the fork is reduced to its basic components and sent for recycling elsewhere in the ship.

>>5352429
You press all of the buttons at once and create a pungent mess.
You consider eating it, but you have other stuff you want to do first. Like surviving to a ripe old age.

>>5352426
You offer the sloppy omni-meal to Jkli.
"We're not eating that," they say.
But they do offer to buy up some glucose, so you mash the glucose button until it runs out of stock, and sell them a few handfuls of the white powder for 700 mF.

You have 1255 mF.

You just plop the mess on the ground. Garnash sniffs at it.

What do?
>Explore more of the ship
>Follow those robots from earlier
>Construct a food castle
>Something else?

>>5353392
>Explore more of the ship
We gotta' find a way off this tub.

>>5353392
>Eat schlomato

>>5351180
>explore the door to the bottom left
>suppress the desire to clean up the mess hall by throwing all the detritus into the recycle hatch

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>>5353485
You suspect that it would disagree with you. Also, you don't want to let any more ammonia into your suit by opening your helmet.

>>5353397
>>5354190
You enter a kitchen. A lone robot is in here, diligently preparing a large meal.
"OI, YER HERE FOR COOK DUTY?" it drones. You notice that the robot's eye is cracked and milky. "OR ARE YA JUST GONNA STAEND THERE?"

What do?
>Staend there
>Cook duty
>Bugger off
>Something else?

>>5356531
>Cook duty
>Make small talk, and try to learn more about this vessel (and how to escape it)

>>5356539
+1
>Look for valuable tools or ingredients to steal and pawn off

>>5356531
>Dump the robot's head in the pot with water
They'll think it was an accident.

>>5356531
>Cook duty

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>>5356539
>>5358408
"Yeah, I'm here for cook duty," you reply.
"WELL WHAT'RE YA WAITING FOR, YA DONKEY? GET TA WORK!"
“I’m also here for cook duty!” Garnash chirps brightly.
“YOU AGAIN? GET TH’ HELL OUTTA HERE, YA VORACIOUS BLIGHTER!”
Garnash scurries away, but not before bumbling head-first into a table and knocking over a bunch of pots and pans.

The chef robot set you to work preparing a hefty meal for the residents of the ship. Most of it involves throwing a bunch of ingredients into a big bubbling vat until they reduce into a vaguely nutritious sludge. Apparently, though, some of the inmates require more stringent diets; you have the dubious distinction of being the first human to slice up what the cookbot calls a "chitinous fleshgrub".

You make nonchalant conversation with the robot in an attempt to reveal more about the ship.
"So, you seem to know your way around the vessel," you say. "What do you think of it?"
"A RUSTING BUCKET O' BOLTS, IT IS," the robot grunts. "I BEEN SHIPPED AROUND THE BLOCK A FEW TIMES, AND THESE PRISON SHUTTLES'RE THE WORST YER GONNA GET." The chef chops a splunschmion in half with a thunk. "NO VENTILATION, 'SIDES THE TRANQ GAS VENTS. BARELY ANY CLIMATE CONTROL, SO THE HEAT'S ALWAYS AT THA BOSSES' TOASTY SYLITH CONDITIONS; MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE TO KEEP ANY PERISHABLES."
The mechanical man throws a bunch of diced stuff in the huge boiling vat, then pours in a good amount of liquid from a bottle labeled “food-grade pyridine”. It dips a ladle into the pot and samples the frothing sludge, smacks its lips, and sprinkles in some salt.
“USED TA BE WORKIN’ WITH TH' HIGH-CLASS CHEFS, AYE,” the robot sulks. “THEN M’ BOSS SOLD ME OFF TO TH’ MILITARY. NOW ALL I GET TA DO IS MAKE NUTRIENT PASTE FER YA DUMB BASTARDS WHAT GET YER ARSES SNATCHED, IN A SHIP WITH SHITE EQUIPMENT, IDIOTIC ASSISTANTS, AN’ NAE GOOD INGREDIENTS TA COOK.”

>>5356727
Whistling, you “accidentally” shove the robot’s head into the boiling mixture. “Oops,” you say.
“THIS IS WHAT’M TALKING ABOUT, LADDIE,” the robot huffs. “THANKS TO YER CLUMSY ROTTIN’ BUTTERFINGERS, NOW ‘M GONNA HAVE TA RINSE OUT M’ WHOLE DAMNED CRANIAL CASE. BLOODY DESPISE THIS PLACE, I DO. YER EXCUSED, INMATE.”

>>5356587
While the android chef rinses out its cranial case, you have the opportunity to swipe a few goodies from the kitchen.

What do?
>Steal stuff
>Don’t steal stuff
>Explore more of the ship
>Call Jkli in to appraise the loot
>Something else?

>>5359844
>Ditch the schlomato for the sherry.
>Trade the schlomato for mF from Jkli
>Pay Jkli to enact the first stages of >>5352426

>>5359844
>Trade Shlomato to Jkli
>Steal Sherry
>Pay for suit for Garnash(?)
>Grab knife, combine it with the scifi pen to make a Hidden Spy-Dagga
>Turn on the device labelled "God"

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>>5359879
>>5359995
>Trade shlomato to Jkli
Jkli doesn’t really want the schlomato, so you only get 10 mF from them (for a total of 1265).

>Steal sherry
You get the bottle of cooking sherry.

>Pay for suit for Garnash
Jkli sets to work immediately. After a few minutes of grinding and shredding, they’ve successfully fashioned a set of scrap metal armor for Garnash, which ought to protect nicely against any taser shots or plasma blasts.
This brings you to -1735 mF. “We’ll put that on credit, but we’d appreciate it if you could pay us back soon,” they tell you.

>Grab knife, combine it with the scifi pen to make a Hidden Spy-Dagga
You stab the knife on the metal counter and chip off the point. Then you stick the sharp little shard in the end of your pen and fashion yourself a stealth dagger. The penis mightier than the sword, as they say.

>Turn on the device labelled "God"
You activate the god machine. It starts making some hellish noises.
"DINNAE YE HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TA DO?"

>Pay Jkli to enact the first stages of >>5352426
“You could use the tranquilizer gas,” Jkli says, “but those helmets of theirs are airtight. You’d have to remove it somehow, or convince him to remove it himself.”

What do?
>Explore more of the ship
>Talk to someone else
>Something else?

>>5360772
>Explore more of the ship

What do you think anons... Could we bribe our reptilian overlord into accepting a bottle of cooking sherry as a peace offering then gas him when he takes his helmet off to drink some?

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>>5360774
You check out the other door in the cafeteria.
It appears to lead to a small storage closet, filled with all sorts of potentially useful things, like bleach, hand tools, grease-stained rags, nudie mags, and what your translator nanobots inform you is a "splango". Unfortunately, the door is locked behind a hand scanner.

What do?
>Try to pry open the door
>Remove the scanner with your pen dagger
>Ask an inmate about the lock
>Something else?

>>5360772
>The penis mightier than the sword
>>5360902
>Remove the scanner with your pen-is-dagger
>Grab the mags
>Sell them to Jkli

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>>5360947
You wrench off the top of the hand scanner and find a series of sensors and wires, which you'll need to mess with to open the door.
Looks like signals enter from the ports on the lower right and move into the dots above, transferring across lines when they touch them. You can cut the wires with your pen knife to change where the signals go.

Jkli looks over your shoulder into the room. "Ooh! We'll pay a pretty penny for some of that stuff."

What do?
>Cut wires in the scanner
>Rip the scanner out of the wall
>Ask someone for help
>Something else?

Puzzle anons, we need you now!

Red wire seems like the one to cut, I think? Maybe then another one?

>>5361735
I don't see a solution without making the signals cross. What is the goal here again?

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>>5361762
>>5361826
If it isn't obvious, this is literally just an amidakuji puzzle.
You need to connect like colors by breaking connections between lines. You can cut as many lines as you want. Also, the blue-and-red dot takes in blue and red signals from either side.

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>>5361904
im a dumbass

>>5361880
>>5361904
>>5362042
So... there IS no solution that doesn't make the signals cross.
Why even cut anything then, if the signals still can get multiple places? You're just restricting a few paths, not every path, which makes it meaningless. See that purple can still reach green, because there seems to be no priority for grey/main lines as shown by yellow ignoring first available grey to the left in favor of going main line to the top gray. There's more contradictions that confirm this, not just yellow.

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>>5362856
(I'm not sure what you mean. Signals follow main lines in the direction of box to dot, moving across the first gray line they see. Here's an example of a similar puzzle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWJrG2lVDhw)

>>5362042
You successfully rewire the hand scanner, unlocking the storage room door.

You take a look at the nudie mags, but apparently humans aren't the target audience. You just pawn it to Jkli for 2000 mF, leaving your balance at 265 mF.

What do?
>Grab loot
>Sell stuff to Jkli
>Something else?

(The next update will be in a new thread.)

>>5363223
>Grab loot
Hand tools especially

>>5363223
If we found a spray and a lighter, we could use hte kerosene to make a full on flamethrower.

>>5363223
Equip the comically large spoon as a new primary

>>5363223
>Claim the room by right of conquest
>Store the hat and the card in this room
>Examine the circuit board
>Consider if the magnet can be used to erase robot memories, and if we want that
>Whimsically hold the mop upside down to pretend that it is a wig and sing Buttercup from HMS Pettifore.