Welcome to the world of the Violent Masquerade, where Super Heroes and Super Villains duke it out every day for the fate of all mankind!But YOU being a SIGMA MALE that you are decided to be neither, and become something MUCH cooler instead! In this adventure we play the role of the DICK MAN, an elegant and dashing SUPER ROGUE! (basically a thief with super powers, you get it)PREVIOUSLY ON THE VIOLENT MASQUARADE! :part 1 https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2022/5194190/part 2 https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2022/5249472/TLDR: Went to prison, escaped from prison, very cool, very sexy, NOW let's get this party STARTED!
>>5308399It's a brand new day in the New City! A day just like any other! Super Heroes flying and running around looking for an evil to defeat, Super Villains lying in wait and scheming their next big evil plan and the regular folk hurrying to work to keep this whole wacky society running.And somewhere in this city, a certain handsome and very cool rogue is hiding away in his Secret Rogue Base, plotting his next big heist!
>>5308401A Secret Rogue Base which just happens to be an old van parked under some bridge.After escaping the prison you really had nowhere else to go. But thankfully, your trusty underling, Jessica, had this van hidden away from the cops, so this is where you've been squatting for the last three weeks.And this is where you've been preparing for your next big heist!
>>5308403...okay, real talk, you actually haven't done shit for the last three weeks. You just sat on that couch, playing video games with Jessica and eating junk food. You've done zero scheming and no daring shenanigans have been committed. Absolutely terrible.On a bright side, Jessica did hack the government systems, to change his pronouns back to male ones (you know, after you forced him to change his gender identity during your prison escape). Oh, you also somehow healed all your horrible injures, getting you back to 10 Hits. It might be that your super powers give your some minor healing factor. That only works during three week time skips.As I was saying, you haven't done shit to prepare for your next heist.
>>5308404BUT THIS ENDS TODAY!You heroically get your ass off the couch and get ready to do some high quality rouging!Jessica: "H-hey! What the heck, Dick Man, I was winning that round!"Shut up, Jessica!Now, the only question is - what should we do first???One thing we need to do is find a new member for our Dick Crew. (because let's face it, Jessica alone doesn't actually make a whole crew)And of course, we need to figure out our next big heist! This one needs to be good! Good enough to finance this whole operation and also put our name on the map!Oh, speaking of finances. You did bully Jessica into giving you 200 dollars, for official Dick Crew expenses. Which means you could go shopping and spend them on whatever you want! Maybe upgrade your Rogue Suit or buy a gun or something, I dunno, lolAlternatively, we could also go and do whatever the fuck we want. Like, literally anything. Full freeform adventure baby, no strings attached. ALRIGHT, D Boys, we are BACK in the action! What the heck do you guys wanna do first?
>>5308405Remember kids, knowing is half the battle, and the other half is violence so why don't we raid some military-industrial company and get some gear to us and/or sell at a higher price, we could even met some disgruntled supersoldier to be our muscle.
>>5308405We need to get some money, but hitting a bank is way too mainstream and obvious. What are some other places with lots of money>>5308408Don't be CRAZY, Military-Industrial companies probably make Dominion's prison look like a goddamn mudhole. They probably have anti-superpower guns.
>>5308405>Spend $10 to buy a child soldier, who will join our crew as a burglar>Spend the rest to buy gold so our money doesn't lose value when inflation inevitably hitsI was also thinking of getting a hooker as a grifter, but don't want to take it too far.
>>5308405Did we bury Rock Guy's remains in an apropiate spot?maybe a sandbox on a park
>>5308440Then how about something smaller... what about the ATF? We don't have any dogs so it should be fine.
>>5308405>Let's go to a cat cafe.
>>5308455They don't have any cool stuff - if Jessica was able to get all that sweet tech by himself, we should attack somewhere that has a lot of money so we can buy ourselves a better base.
>>5308469Sillicon Valley? Jessica would be of great help there.
>>5308405Let's recruit us a burglar. At the cat cafe. That's where cat burglars like to hang out, right?
>>5308405>Go to a cat cafe for a cat burglar>Find a dog burglar instead.
>>5308498Support.>>5308405>Go to a cat cafe to find a cat burglar, or at least to pet cats and drink coffee.
>>5308405>Put an ad out for an unpaid intern... specifically one who would be a fine addition to our EVIL ORGANIZATION!Colleges practically provide free labor nowadays--we'd be foolish not to capitalize on it! Also, welcome back, QM! Happy to see this on the catalogue again.
>>5308405Gentle hug Jessica for being a bro, and pray for the safety of our wildcard. Ask him if he has any suggestions on crew members we should recruit. Does he know anyone?Do our own research and look into what out mechanical Seagull backstabber has been up to.
You decide to go to the cat café to plan out your next big heist! You feel inspired by the independent and mischievous spirit of cats!Stealing from banks and museums? No way, you have to aim HIGHER than that! >>5308408Let's steal from a military-industrial company place! Or something like that. Basically somewhere dangerous and cool! Real danger, real reward, real fame!Jessica gets to work and searches the Dark Web for info on places like that!
>>5308556After just an hour of work Jessica has come up with no less than THREE possible targets that fit the bill! Wow! What a useful nerd!OPTION 1:Ah, this is perfect! An industrial military company contracted by the government has a facility not far from New City. And it looks like recently they have come in possession of an Ancient Alien Artifact! Wouldn't it be a shame if someone stole that little trinket?~Unfortunately it appears they got help from three D-Lister Super Heroes to guard the facility until they can move the Artifact somewhere more safe...Could be fun!~
WHALE CUM BACK QMMissed ya, excited for the new thread, now with 55% more pointless arguments and retarded shitposting.
>>5308563OPTION 2:Incredible! Jessica has discovered a secret research site hidden in an abandoned factory, right here in the New City! It looks like the site belongs to The Agency! A Black Ops super secret organization that keeps tabs on Super Human affairs!Aaaand, they recently got a shipment of 8 Super Tech Micro Chips, all packed neatly into a single briefcase. Even one of those Micro Chips could be sold for millions of dollars!The staff and security on the site is pretty low in numbers but two Agents of The Agency has been stationed inside the complex! Those guys are no joke, but the Micro Chips would definitely be worth the trouble!
Rip Rock dude, may he rest in piece.
>>5308575It's Rock MAN! M-A-N, MAN!Get it right, dammit!
>>5308570OPTION 3:Ah, typical. One of the Hitler clones that flooded the Super Villain market back in the 80s have established a military compound not far from the city. The place is filled with his loyal Neo Neo Nazis armed to the teeth. No doubt they are doing research in there, trying to find the way to bring forth the 7th Reich (Yes, we are on the 6th one at this point)BUT, it looks like they got something special hidden away in that castle! A Mystical Gem of Lemuria - a gem believed to hold unlimited amount of power! And worth up to 10 million bucks on the black market!It looks like the place has a lot of armed men but only one super human - Kyle the Übermensch , a Neo Neo Nazi super villain who recently got out of prison!
Wow! So many options! Each more dangerous and reckless than the last!Should we mayhaps rethink this whole thing and go rob a bank or something? NO! No more baby bullshit, we are DOING this!NOW choose one of these three suicide missions, Dick Bros!
>>5308563I vote for this one.>>5308581>Option 1Maybe we can even clap some alien cheeks. Let's Naruto run to victory, bros! They can't stop us all! All two of us.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>5308581>1 = Option 2>2 = Option 3>>5308582Thank you for correcting my incorrect correction. May Rock Guy's legacy of guyness live henceforth.
>>5308563Option 1. These D-Listers will find themselves no match for the TRUE D.
>>5308587I wonder if Jessica can hack our records to change our name back to Dissolution?
>>5308581>OPTION 2YEAH! Let's get on some government's black ops shitlist early!
>>5308581>3Zapper Elite 7
>>5308581Option 1 seems the most interesting
>>5308563>>5308586Switching to option 2 cause I like option 2 better.
>>5308581These cats make me suspicious. Are they secretly super smart?
Yea, wait--do any of the kots wanna join our crew? Spider seems to be preoccupied...
>>5308563>Option 1Ancient alien artifact huh? Contracted by the government no less, huh? Well that's good i say, fuck the government they did put us in the prison after we got betray by our trusty robot seagull friend. Hey, you know, speaking of that thing we should really smash it into pieces .>The D lister>Smiling guyPerhaps a generic brick type super power? Or a distraction for his much powerful blaster type power? >Middle guyWeird suit, weird face. Hey not gonna judge, we did named ourselves THE dick-man after all. But the real question is what kind of superpower do they have or perhaps they're the brain of their 3 man team just like our friend jessy here.>Mysterious robot guyProbably an actual real human bean inside that robot suit. Or a robot gain sentinence that can we hack into.Hmmm it seems like we are missing a person for this 3-on-3 operation (miss you rock guy). But i hate the gubbermint so i choose Option 1. And i want alien stuff.
>>5308646>>5308605>>5308587>>5308584Aight, Option 1 seems like the winner! Ancient Alien Artifacts can be sold easily for millions of dollars and this is a great chance to make some Super Hero losers looks like fools! The heist is ON!Jessica: "Okay! I'll spend some time digging, and get us more intel for the mission!"Ah, that Jessica. So reliable! Except when it comes to any kind of direct confrontation. When he is useless. Now, since we're already doing some prep work, this is a great chance to figure out the next member for our Dick Crew!
>>5308676Burglar! And a woman! Get too many dudes on one team and people start spreading weird rumors.>>5308646>Middle GuyIt's a woman in a gear suit.
>>5308676Now, thanks to your versatile super powers and brilliant and unconventional mind, YOU make a great MASTERMIND! And Jessica covers the HACKER spot quite well. I mean, that's all he can do, really.We also need a MUSCLE! I mean, you can handle your regular mutant rat man and washed up super pervert, but if you ever have to go against A-Listers, you'll be just a smear on the wall. We need a man for that occasion!And we need a BULGAR! Someone who can sneak around, do cool flips and steal things easily! Let's be honest, you are not the most subtle of thieves by yourself.And don't forget about the GRIFTER! Someone who can be our "face", trick people and use lies and deception to manipulate our marks! Those are essential for all cool and sexy heists!Also WILDCARD! Because it's just cool to have one of those.Alright, Dick Believers, which role should we fill out for out before our next heist?
>>5308683>BULGARguess we need to find a bulgarian now
>>5308683>BULGARHe will be of great use once we find him, especially with this operation.Also>take that cat next to you that gives his thumbs(?) up, he knows what's up.I love the fact that we go through 1 pet/part, first the duck, then the spider, and now the cat.
>>5308683>GRIFTERDid someone say "face"?
>>5308686>>5308684>>5308503>>5308504>>5308498Alright guys, THE BULGAR it is! I mean the BURGLAR! FUCK! WHATEVER!Makes sense, really, we are thieves after all!Now we just need to VISUALIZE! We need to project what kind of burglar we need! Let's brainstorm, Dick Bros! Through me some ideas! Appearance, backstory, super powers, random words or jpegs, anything! And yes, since we are not in prison anymore, women are on the table.
>>5308697>Cat burglar>Owner of the cat cafe>May or may not be a cat woman
>>5308697>A MONKEY WITH A MASK AND SOCKS
>>5308697>Really Albanian, Like REALLY Albanian, Like REALLY REALLY ALBANIAN.
>>5308704This but they're actually a cat-woman centaur
>>5308697>BLACK MASS>A WOMAN MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF SHADOWS. OK, NOT ENTIRELY OUT OF SHADOWS, MORE LIKE A SENTIENT HIVEMIND OF NANOMACHINE THAT CAN TURN INVISIBLE AND DO ALL KINDS OF OTHER WEIRD SHIT THAT NANOMACHINES CAN DO, SUCH AS FORMING INPENTRABLE ARMOR OR BEING ABLE TO NEATLY FILL UP ANY LOCK AND PICK IT AS EASILY AS IF YOU WERE USING THE ACTUAL KEY. >UNDERNEATH THE NANOMACHINES IS A SCRAWNY MIDDLE AGED WOMAN, A PROFESSIONAL BURGLAR WHO BROKE INTO A SUPER SECRET CORPORATE RESEARCH LAB, UNFORTUNATELY ALL OF THEIR EXPENSIVE AND VALUABLE EQUIPMENT WAS WAY TOO BIG FOR HER TO CARRY, SO ALL SHE COULD STEAL WAS A TINY BLACK VIAL. ON HER WAY OUT SHE WAS CAUGHT AND TACKLED BY SECURITY, ACCIDENTALLY BREAKING OPEN THE VIAL AND CAUSING THE QUADRILLIONS OF NANOMACHINES WITHIN TO BOND WITH HER AND HER MIND, GRANTING HER COMPLETE CONTROL AND TRANSFORMING HER INTO THE BLACK MASS!>UNFORTUNATELY THE NANOMACHINES HAVE REPLACED MOST OF HER INTERNAL ORGANS AND BLOOD, SO IF SHE WAS EVER SEPERATED FROM THEM SHE WOULD CERTAINLY DIE.
>>5308721+1albanian cat maybe?>>5308737nice fanfic
>>5308739Hey I'm trying here.
>>5308721YES, a sentient, Albanian, BURGLAR CAT.
>>5308748With a thick albanian accent, tired of all this shit and a heavy smoker?
>>5308721An ALBANIAN CAT>>5308748+1, yes, an ALBANIAN CAT
>>5308761>>5308748Gentlemen, please, we are talking about a burglar here.>>5308697One Româno-Albanian cat, por favor.
>>5308765He can't be TOO steal-y, or else he'll just betray us.
>>5308697>A Dog-Man who thinks he's a Cat-Man because he was raised by a family of Cat Burglars.
>>5308697Albanian Cat Woman Also give her a spear. Spears are based
>>5308768I said Româno-Albanian, not Gypsy-Albanian, learn the difference, it could cost you your wallet.
>>5308779>>5308768I didn’t realize we had an RACE EXPERT here amongus, what say you to the ROMANO-ALBANIAN cat now we have the EXPERT’s opinion??
>>5308779So gypsies are 110% stealy, while regular romanians only 100%?
>>5308697Hyper intelligent cats with minor super powers. The cats here for example? Or one cat.Make the cat a girl to cock block anons. No sexy burgalurs for you!
>>5308748>>5308721Oh shit this +1
>>5308799Romanians are opportunists, the romanian civilization has yet to find its raison d'être, being formed at the frontier of every empire and centre of culture will do that to you.Gypsies, on the other hand, will go out of their way to make money and be gypsies, avoid if possible before you have the whole clan out in the street armed with knives and axes, also respect their elders and beware their magic.
>>5308809>magicit's called STDsBut yeah, fuck Gypsies. My mother was nearly kidnapped as a child by one of those subhumans.
>>5308816>STDsThose too, but I'm telling you mate, most of them are ideed charlatans, but the ones who aren't, respect those.
After thinking about it, you finally figure it out! Of course! It was so obvious!The perfect Burglar for your crew would have to be an Albanian Cat who is also a Woman! It makes perfect sense! Duh!
>>5308842But how the HELL will you EVER find someone LIKE THAAAT?......
>>5308845Suddenly a mysterious cat-like woman of yet undetermined ethnicity appears behind you and begins to speak, with the thickest Eastern European, as her theme song begins to play:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myOGQoU6BbsWoman: "You two! You are two funny little thief men, yeah? I am the owner of this cats cafe, heard you two going for a bit of a steal, yeah, yeah?Well my name is Sarina and I want in on the action!"
>>5308857>Jesus Christ how horrifying
Why is it a woman? Huh? Why is it a human? Huh? Huh? What? That’s not? What was? Asked? He caved to the? coomers? No way? Right? No way we were cheated out our cool Albanian cat bro right? That didn’t just happen right? Right?
>>5308857>Actually, a cat is fine too.
>>5308863I counted four votes for cat-WOMAN. Most of the votes asking for Albanian were unspecified, but you can count again.
>>5308857>OK, Cool! And not suspicious at all. Welcome aboard!
>>5308859>>5308863>>5308865Scary Woman: "W-w-WAIT! Everybody STAY right where you are, okay, yes? I can still sell you on this! Just listen to my great backstory! You western perverts love this kind of thing, right, yeah?"
>>5308872O.KThis better not be that freak dominion in another weird suit
>>5308857>Let her in on da plans >”Are you Serbian?”This will be a test of her mental fortitude. If she can handle being called the Albanian people’s most hated people she can join. Make sure to cover our eyes from any stray Albanian claws though
>>5308872>Are you three Balkan Lynxes in a fursuit?
>>5308872Depends are you Romanian-Albanian or Gypsy-Albanian?
>>5308872Look if you're not a cat-centaur i'm not interested, but if I can't get one of those I guess you'll do
>>5308872Wait, are people allowed to spill their backstory this early?For that matter, do we know what Jessica's backstory is?
>>5308874You can phrase it batter, more subtle, like "You have 3 seconds to tell me what country furst comes to mind when I say the word Kosovo, 1, 2... " or something like that.
>>5308880We already know his backstory - he's an nerd born with a weird disease that makes him weak no matter how big are his muscles.
>>5308872Okay, but you gotta let me get your cats.Ngl QM I'm disappointed. I was hoping for a talking cat.
>>5308889I like the design, even if it's not really a cat
>>5308884Gotcha. Well in that case, we might as well hear her backstory. Hopefully it's as great as she says it is, how else could she have gotten such a nice cat cafe?
>>5308872Sarina: "Alright, now let me tell you tragic story of Sarina... The Lady Cat!~I grow up in small village, in homecountry, Albania. One day I go for a walk and see poor balkan lynx, drowning in lake, yeah?I run in, to save the poor thing, and then BAM! A lightning strikes us both, splicing my DNA with lynx DNA and changing my whole body forever!(I later find out that lynxes can swim very well actually)
>>5308897Ok so far so good.
>>5308897Lynx and under key cute and adorable. 10/10 they got toe BEANS! They long bois.
>>5308897Sarina: "Now I become mutant thing, right? I have powers of cat, can turn into cat, can talk to cat! Sometime later the village men chase me away from the country with pitchforks and fire! Completely unrelated to the whole cat thing by the way, I just fucked all their wives.Now I come to New City! Where I can build life, live good, make cats cafe for zoomer children with my cat powers, right? WRONG! Can't make this whole business thing work, I am completely broke!It turn out cat power don't make you good at accounting."
>>5308903Ok, I say we accept her, but say we're using her CatCafe as an unofficial HQ. No one's gonna be so cruel to bust a place full of kittens, also she needs a proper burglar outfit.
>>5308903Sarina: "So I do a little crime, here and there, but it's all small stuff. Hard doing crime alone in this city!The plan I heard you funny men figure out I like! Big Plan, Big Money! So I want in! We split money three ways, work together, it's the whole thing!What do you say?"What do you say, Dick Maniacs?
>>5308923I think it'd be great to have Sarina onboard. She fucked all those dudes wives, so you know she's amazing at stealing from people!Still, what are the powers of a cat, she have anything busted like night vision or 9 lives?
>>5308923Well, she seems skilled enough, so it works, but i wouldn't trust her
So it’s a? Carpet munching? No good? Pussy huffing? Dyke? Too? Huh? Huh? What? Where? Why? Wait? Who voted? For that? Please? Someone? Tell? Me???
>>5308937I don't like it, but we *are* dealing with criminals here, i wouldn't expect them to be good people. I mean, we voted for an albanian.
>>5308937All we need to do is teach her the power of the dick, that is assuming the psycho super girl wannabe doesn't decide to break our pelvis first.
>>5308937I mean I guess it makes some amount of sense, being a cat-lady means she has a high affinity for pussy
>>5308923>Let her joinAre you anons being toxic for the sake of being toxic now?
>>5308923Cat Woman is based>Let her join>>5308937Why do you write like a schizo
>>5308954Two posts. One of which voting for coom cat bitch. Opinion, Irrelevant.>>5308943>>5308941Why settle for less.
>>5308923Sure why not.
>>5308923LET HER IN!
>>5308947Top lel, anon>>5308923Let her in, she'd probably blow the operation for bounty money if we didn't
>>5308962>Why settle for less.Because we're not in a good position in the first place? And because she heard our entire plan?
>>5308923LET THE CAT WOMAN JOIN YES!Also hey the quest is back nice!
>>5308974Not in that sense. I meant why accept this result. Is this quest not based on number of votes. Or is it just based on what the QM thinks people want.
>>5308986>Why accept this resultIsn't that the same thing? We can either recruit her or not. Saying no would be dumb since she knows our plan.
>>5309003That is not what I meant. But it does not matter now. Nothing for it I suppose. Just disappointing how a funny type sidekick character turned into this.
>>5308923Let her in, but she has to bring the cats, and we get to use her cat cafe as a base of operations. Also, we get dibs on any hot super babes, and if we marry them, Sarina can't fuck them.
>>5308937>>5308953>>5308962>>5308986>>5309007You're so fucking weird. Simmer down.
>>5309033That anon is having an autism spree
>>5309033If criticizing a decision the QM made is considered weird by you, so be it. I don’t really know how much you think I value your opinion, but it’s clearly out of touch with reality. Now that is something that I find to be really strange.
>>5309044Not as strange as your lame-ass shitfit. If you don't like spicy sexy supers, this is a quest that has shown a proclivity for them, and you're probably out of luck.
>>5309054>> 5309054 I’m here to enjoy the quest where Super Heroes and Super Villains duke it out every day for the fate of all mankind. If the 'super sexy supers’ end up taking priority over this, which it clearly has, then I will take issue with it. You clearly can not cope with this. Maybe you should go masturbate. That appears to be much more your speed.
Playing Devil's Advocate here, but would OP mind explaining how they determine actions? I assumed it was by most votes, but maybe being a bit clearer about the decision process would go a long way in avoiding confusion. For the record I was the guy in the last thread who voted to look UP during the spider puzzle--just wanted to get some clarity because while I was glad my idea was chosen, I can't recall if it was the most-voted for option or not.Still really digging the quest, just thought I'd add my two cents.
>>5309063Stop being a rested sperg and shitting up the thread. Enjoy the funny draw quest. QM likes to combine write ins and he’s done it since the first thread.
>>5309072The QM has not made it clear what style of voting they’ve implemented, and we have a certain term for when a QM picks and chooses what to implement in a post without any real rhyme or reason.
>>5309075"Based" is the term, I believe.QM, don't pay attention to this loser.
>>5309079I’ve noticed your attempts at preventing any and all critiques directed at the Quest Master with lukewarm, petty insults. It will not work.
>>5308923>Yes. Also ask for a demonstration of cat powers cuz that sounds cool as hell.
>>5309085Saying it once is a critique... Spamming it over and over is having an autistic fit. I was fine then said it once but then you spammed it 4 more times without anyone even responding to you.
>>5309098Ah, so now there is a problem with the frequency of critiques. If the problem is not addressed properly, then it will be simply ignored. I’d rather not have the quality of the quest go down because of such a simple problem that can be cleared up easily with some transparency and communication from the QM. Also, I do believe every one of my posts has been responded to so far, if such a thing really matters.
>>5309101Lmao are you prose anon?
>>5308923>YesShe's a lesbian. I don't see what makes her coombait other than "woman". Maybe OP just didn't want to draw a cat for X threads.
>>5309136If Petunia from Gaol can be coombait, anything can be coombait.
>>5309136And see, this is the core of the issue here. Who’s to say this forced, shall we say "loose" interpretation of votes won’t rear its ugly head in more important votes down the line? What are the criteria by which votes are chosen other than personal preference? These must be addressed. It can come off as deceptive and unfair to players when these things are not made clear from the start.
>>5309152It's a comedy drawquest. Votes are very often combined willy-nilly in comedy drawquests (eg. Western Quest[ern], NotAPaladin's stuff), because... it gives the QM the broadest way to make something funny and entertaining. Which is the goal. And I for one find Albanian Catwoman funny and entertaining.Stop throwing a shitfit and recognize that you appear to be the only one having this issue.
>>5309152Newfriend detected.Verification not required
>>5309152>Who’s to say this forced, shall we say "loose" interpretation of votes won’t rear its ugly head in more important votes down the line?It is a COMEDY DRAWQUEST, you nutter.
Anyone else except the scizo-autist here>>5309152 have a problem with the way QM does things? I don't.
>>5309159No, it's all cool.
>>5309153 I fully realize that this quest is comedy-oriented, and while I’ve not read the works you’ve listed as examples, I can guarantee they’ve a more structured and coherent voting system then just what the QM decides on a whim. I can easily see this becoming a bigger problem than it is in the future until the QM itself has clearly highlighted the criteria on which votes are chosen.>> 5309155 The term usually used to show your veteran status on this forum would be, "newfaggot", and I have a certain hunch you’re one of them.>>5309156 I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, friend, since your blown out synapses from the masturbation addled pink slush you call a brain can’t keep up. It. Will. Not. Work.Verification not required.
>>5309159Nope.It just works.
>>5309165>and while I’ve not read the works you’ve listed as examples, I can guarantee they’ve a more structured and coherent voting system then just what the QM decides on a whim.You can literally not guarantee this, because you haven't read them. Like... come on, buddy.>I have a certain hunch you’re one of them.>literally resorting to "no u"jej nice one you really got him>It. Will. Not. Work.jej x2
>>5309159>>5309160>>5309161>>5309163>>5309166>>5309165Votes tallied and, hey, it looks like the vote is in and, in respecting player democracy, QM must now continue running the quest in a fun playful manner. I know this upsets you, t5kWkdWJ, but that's just how the cookie crumbles, and the QM would have to be pretty darn silly and arbitrary to ignore such a landslide vote, right?>>5308399Sorry for this weird aside, please don't let this get you down.
>>5309152>>5309101>>5309165Bro, what kind of game do you think you're playing. As long as the QM doesn't actually murder the MC there's nothing to get butthurt about. >>5309159Nope, it's cool with me
>>5309168I’ve skimmed over them, and even on first glance, it’s obvious to me that it is indeed more structured. To say so would just be to insult the quality of a pretty interesting piece, at the looks of it, for the sake of an argument. I think we can both agree that, originally, the votes were more inclined towards the sentient cat, but this is only one example of a situation that can easily arise and be quelled by just one post from the Quest Master stating their means of tallying votes.
>>5309175I just want things to be as fair as possible for everyone. I don’t believe the QM will just murder the MC outright like some other QM’s. By eliminating such a simple error, whether from tallied votes or miscommunication, I believe the quality of this quest will improve dramatically.
>>5309181That's a fair desire. You should understand that you're essentially alone in being dissatisfied with the quality though, and consider that accordingly you may be looking to get something out of this experience that's not advertised or intended.
>>5309188This has been made obvious to me multiple times. But I’ve made it clear that while some may find this result perfectly acceptable now, later on, during more important votes, this problem may very well show up again. I just hope that this can be nipped in the bud before it really does become an issue.
>>5309195No, I think you're underestimating how little stake anons have in how the story plays out as long as its fun.Our guy is literally called Dick Man, which was done without our input or permission, and the crowd loves it. We just don't care as long as it turns out alright and is fun.
>>5309200Small quirks and jokes that are naturally arrived at through the QM’s style of writing are perfectly fine with me, but when votes are completely interpreted in a different way than what was intended for laughs, this is where problems arise. I understand the low-stakes, comedy aspect of this quest, but all the greats have started out just the same. Take, for example, Created. Votes were not always completely interpreted exactly how anons wished them to be, but were generally in line with what they wanted because the QM made sure to tally the votes, so no arguments were had. Everyone felt the result was reached fairly.
>>5309205Do you have autism?
>>5309206I am aware of how passionate I may come off in these posts, and I will be the first to admit first reaction to the QM’s miscount of the votes was a bit exaggerated. But I genuinely think this can be easily resolved if the QM was a bit more transparent about how they interpret votes in the future.
>>5308923>ask for a demonstration of her powersPet the cat
>>5309206It's like the sequel to Rain Man nobody wanted.
>>5309159All good! OP if you get tired of the autists and spergs that populate cape quests, just bring white tower back!
So we're pandering to retarded coomers once again, while ignoring wholesome talking cat votes. Huh.>>5309205>>5309208I think you overestimate the intelligence of these players, anon.
>coomer coomer coomer>U r so dumbThis is bait and go back to the shithole you spawn from wench.
>>5309319I honestly believe there has been some sort of misinterpretation of what exactly the problem I’ve highlighted is. I am not asking for the QM to be a paragon of fairness and justice, only to be a little more forthcoming with how they tally votes. I must stress the point that this is less about the result of the original post I found fault with and more of a concern for what I can only hope is just a simple miscommunication problem.
>>5309324Odd, not sure why my ID has switched now.
>THIS MUST BE BAIT I SWEAR IM NOT STUPIDkek>>5309324My first paragraph had nothing to do with what you said. But again, there's no way for you to communicate with those retards.
>>5309331Yes, it is frustrating for me to constantly reiterate and voice the same critique or ‘pander’ to anons who just don’t seem to care, or even voted for the original cat idea, but if it’s the only way to get the problem addressed, so be it.
>>5309362Nobody except you thinks it's a problem. We literally got seven separate people voting for "not a problem." >>5309159
>>5309363The only real way to resolve this is for the QM to provide a clear explanation of how these votes are considered and incorporated into the story. It is disappointing to see that some will turn a blind eye to the issue, but just a few minutes ago, someone else voiced the same concern. This will only exasperate as time goes on and really should just be sorted by the QM as soon as possible.
D-Man: "Alright, funny cat! You're in! BUT we get tot use your café as our Secret Rogue Base! AND if I ever get married, you WON'T fuck my wife!"Sarina: "DEAL! This is good, yeah? We make lot of money together!"
>>5309434Sarina: "And check it out Boss Man, I recently stole this 200 dollars, yeah? And since we team now, I give you guys two thirds, so here! See, I'm a good cat, right? Real team player!"You receive 133 dollars! You now have... 133 dollars! Weird, I thought we had more that that... Oh well!~
Sarina: "So he's the Dick Man, yeah? What it makes you then? Are you the Pussy Man? Are you his big Pussy Man, yes?"Jessica: "H-hhhng, Dick Man, help! The new girl is Work Place Harassing meee!"Sorry, Jessica, an HR Manager is not part of our team list.Anyhow, this is great news! You got a real, honest to god Cat Themed Cat Burglar on your team! All the other Rogue teams are gonna be so fucking jealous!Alright! We still got some time before the nightfall! Anything else you maniacs wanna do before the big heist? Which is happening tonight by the way.>>5309069Well, the crew member making wasn't a voting thing. I just asked for ideas for me to draw from. In other situations, I either go by what is the funniest, or just who ever has the best idea for the situation. If all ideas are equally good I go with what is the most popular one >>5308947Thank god, a true intellectual who understood the joke, god bless
>>5309452Aren't we like...good with chemistry? Maybe we should prepare some stuff for the heist
>>5309438>Call her out for stealing $200 from us. D-Bug has it taped on his Google Glasses.>Bad cat. Spray her for stealing from us and harassing Jessica.
>>5309452Maybe we should try and find out more about these D-list supers. Even if they are losers, if we get owned by them we're gonna look like EVEN BIGGER losers in comparison.
>>5309458Yeah, the last thing we need is to find out they have immunity to lightning..And speaking of lightning, i just got an idea. Why don't we carry a big barrel of water around, Gaara-style? That would help us recharge in a pinch. I mean, yeah, we should go fully charged regardless, but it's a good fallback plan - lightning costs a lot, despite being pretty powerful.
>>5309452We need a change of clothes pronto, something that actually makes us look like actual Super Thieves
>>5309452Okay, this is a somewhat reasonable process of prioritizing which votes get implemented and which don’t, considering this quest is more oriented to low-stakes comedy-oriented action, but I still feel this criteria to be too vague. Was the cat idea simply not popular enough? By my count, it should have more votes than the lesbian cat woman, or was it just deemed not as funny? Or was it not as fleshed out as the cat-woman idea? I wouldn’t think this to be the case considering one vote was a cat woman with spears and another one said the owner of the cafe, when there were multiple posts detailing the exact race specifications and sex of the sentient cat sidekick.
>>5309464Our clothes are perfectly fine as they are.
>>5309465Anon don't be dumb now. QM said he was looking for ideas to draw from, it wasn't a strict vote.
>>5309452We need to warm up, like working out. So, time for some shoplifting at a dollar store?
>>5309469There were some criteria listed, and I just wish to know if the idea we proposed didn’t meet them somehow. It is useful information to take into consideration during later votes. No harm done in telling us their thought process, no?
>>5309460Thinking on it, I don't think that would work out in the long run. Hard to be a sneaky snatcher if we have something heavy on us, and we don't have the Muscle to do that for us yet.BUT, I think we could carry around a ice cooler. It's not too big, can give water in a pinch, and give us something to drink when we're thirsty.
>>5309452Research the facility layout and the d list supers. Oh and buy a surfboard thingy so we can surf with our own water.
>>5309452Research the facility layout and the d list supers also find an Persian cat and keep stroking it while we ponder our plans like all big criminals do.
>>5309452>Research those supers>Have Jessica hack our name back to Dissolution so we can propwrly intimidate the supers when we meet them>Maybe use chemistry and our powers to make some explosives for if things get dicey?>>5309465>>5309476There is no ssiue to resolve. There is no problem for QM to address. The only problem here is you, and the easiest way to address that is for you to either take your anxiety meds, or to leave.
>>5309489Also supporting:>Pet a cat in a sinister fashion while plottingAdd that to my above vote, >>5309452
>>5309454>>5309458You spray Sarina using your finger as a spray bottle.Sarina: "HSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!"She skitters away on all fours as your money falls out of her dress. You got your full 200$ back!D-Man: "Okay, Jessica, I'm gonna need you to find all the info you can on those three Super Heroes. I need to know their powers, their weaknesses, their controversial opinions on twitter dot com - anything you can find!"Jessica: "Y-you got it, Dick Man! I'll have the full reports on them ready by the end the day!"Great! Jessica will spend the rest of the day digging info on those Supers!Which means we still have D-Man and Sarina free to do something useful as well! Or do something useless, that is always an option. How should these two spend the rest of the day?
>>5309493Planning a team attack!And ideally stocking up on chemicals needed to synthesize explosives.
>>5309493Making a big ice penises on the biggest concentration of people that we can find. While controversial opinions from randos are being hurled our ways, Sarina will steal all of their wallets, being offended by the very big ice penis they will certainly not notice the cat burgler under their pants.
>>5309505We should probably save this brilliant team-attack for the government operatives and superheroes.
>>5309493Lets test out some of Sarina's cat powers. She can talk to cats, and she can turn into a cat, but what other cat goodies does she have?
>>5309493Holy based.>>5309505+1>Ask her to elaborare on cat abilities and cat-shiftingGet all the info so we don't have unexpected problems on our mission later.
>>5309493>Stealing a semi-truck full of durien fruit.
>>5309531Seconded>Ah yes, the durian fruit... Unmatched in its smellyness and deliciousness, truly the aristocrat's choice of food.This would allow us to use them as projectiles or emergency rations!
>>5309609I was thinking, get some gas masks an crash that truck into the facility. Use the gas masks to hide our faces while we steal their uniforms and slip inside, ou Cat buglar and hacker get us past the defenses, and grab the artifact in the chaos. Have Jessica waiting in a vehicle doing his hacker thing remotely and ready to exfiltrate us. Something goes wrong? Dick Man can fight his way out with Lady Cat to get to Jessica.
>>5309493Tell Jessica not to forget his daily vitamins. He is a growing man and he needs his vitamins to be a bug strong man that we know he is, nerd or not......no one must know you still take daily gummies.
>>5309491My condolences. I see you can’t even stop your masturbation to type a simple message. I do not need you to speak for the QM or give me your worthless opinion. You have nothing to add to the discussion and are just here to make trouble with me.
>>5309493Shopping! Let's upgrade our Rouge Suit to full rubber so we don't lose health every time we use our lightning powers.
Maybe we just need lower voltage?
>>5309716speaking of voltage, could we suck lightning out of random power lines or some shit. would be pretty convenient but thats technically electricity and not lightning
>>5309716>>5309720This reminds me that we should learn RESISTANCE next. Having to sacrifice hitpoints for lightning powers sucks.
>>5309505>>5309512>>5309525You decide to take your new recruit out on the town, to test out her cat powers. Sarina quickly changes into her rogue suit behind a dumpster.Sarina: "Now, little Dick Man, let me introduce you to my cool, sexy alter ego...The Demi-Cat ! Ah? Aaah? Pretty cool, yes? Alright, now let's go fuck some shit up."What kind of wacky adventures will these two get up to? Will Sarina's cat powers be as good as we hope they are?? Will Jessica manage finish his report on time???Find out tomorrow! ...but also feel free to leave more suggestions, because otherwise we're doing the ice dicks and probably stealing durian fruits.
>>5309728>Bring her to an office building where there is a lot of ventsWe'll draw dicks in Excel, steal coffee for D-Bug to boost his hacking efficiency and see what we can do with S's cat form.
>>5309728Damn that is a pretty cool suit, looks like an insect like spiderman suit.By the way cool quest qm, loving what you are putting up.
>>5309735yeah it looks fucking awesome
>>5309728That is an fantastic suit. Take a rooftop stroll to scope out the area.
>>5309728Ice dicks, durian fruit, and buy/steal some useful chemical compounds.
>>5309728Also do the thing about upgrading our outfit to better accommodate lightning and ice powers, like rubber, leather, maybe an inlaid Faraday cage? No strange BDSM shit please.
>>5309728>>5309816This stuff sounds fantastic! Would the Faraday cage stop the -1 HP thing, QM?Also cool catsuit!
>>5309816There's no way our poor, inept MC develops a suit incorporating Dominion's hat, leather, rubber, and a cage and DOESN'T end up wearing strange BDSM shit.
>>5309728Truck fulla durien fruit, woooo! So excited.
>>5309728Ask Sabrina for some examples of her powers and what to expect. Odd-Man you go chance into some civilian clothes and watch Demi-Cat from a distance as she acts, as to not draw awareness to yourself.
>>5309728Yea, we're gonna need a demonstration of some of her powers. She may talk the talk, but can she walk the walk?!
>>5309728We gotta check if the cat has a tail! For... science reasons.
Using your Ice powers you build four GLORIOUS dick statues and wait for a crowd to gather!And sure enough, some suckers stop by to take a photo of the vulgar display, no doubt to post it on their social media with some dumb caption, like, "Didn't have THIS on my 2022 bingo card" or "Some of you mfs are just freaks baka baka, crying laughing emoji" The thought of such banality makes you want to VOMIT. Fucking NORMIES, REEE
>>5310611And that's when it happens! A dark shadow rushes through the crowd in one elegant, impossibly fast motion! You can barely follow it with your eyes, the whole thing happens in just a split second! The suckers staring at your beautiful creation don't even notice as their pockets get emptied.
>>5310614*WOOOSH* before you can say "Ice Dick", Demi-Cat is back beside you, with four freshly plucked wallets in her hand!Demi-Cat: "Four suckers a second, not a bad score, yeah? All thanks to my Super Cat Speed, Super Cat Agility and Super Cat Reflexes, which all work quite wonderful with my amazing Pickpocketing skill!"Demi-Cat gives you a 100$ from the collected cash.Demi-Cat: "Your share, Boss Man. I'm also pretty good at Lockpicking and Boosting Cars by the way!Well, what you think? Any other cat super power you want to test out?~"Well, D Boys? Anything else you want Demi-Cat to do?
>>5310625She said she can talk with cats, see if she can convince a few cats to distract some store owner or something like that while we steal his shit.
>>5310625Steal some M40 Gas Masks from a Surplus Outlet Store to prepare for stealing a semi-truck full of durian fruit to crash into the place we're heisting.
>>5310625Boosting cars eh?Well tell her to gather her finest literal cat burglers to find a ferrari. We're gonna boost ourselves a drive.
>>5310644Ferrarri are way too obvious, the kind of ride we'll need isn't going to be found in a city. Eventually, it would be wise to get something like one of those big armored vans to use as a mobile base.
>>5310625>TURN INTO A CAT, DAMMIT
>>5310625I'm having flashbacks to White tower>Quickly pet the cat lady!!!it must be done
>>5310625Impressive. Very nice. Talk to some cats and have them distract a pawn shop owner. You can always find some cool shit in a pawn shop.
>>5310625check our pockets, make sure she didn't just give us half of our 200.
>>5310625Check for weaknesses. Use our newly acquired funds to buy a laser pointer.
>>5310625I want to see a demonstration of SUPER CAT HAIRBALL
>>5310625Ask if she can help us befriend cats. Maybe to use as minions, maybe just to be friends.
>>5310625>Give her a pet.
>>5310625Boosting cars? As in breaking into then, hot wiring them, and selling then on the black market? I wouldnt call that a super power, but that is a very useful reliable skill to own.Alright you are pretty good. Let's so some place and do some mock combat to appraise how well you do in a fight. I dont expect you to be super great, no offense.
>>5310718>>5310629Ah, here's a peaceful Pawn Shop in it's natural habitat. Entirely undisturbed by any super powered criminal activities or other forms of meta human tomfoolery...
Suddenly, the doors of the pawn shop swing wide open and a pack of cats run out, each holding some freshly stolen goods!Pawn Shop Owner: "GODDAMNIT! Heelp! Somebody heelp! My sweet pawn shop is getting robbed by a bunch of DAMN CATS, who are all moving with an uncanny coordination and conscious intent! ...FUCK!"
Of course, these were no regular cats, but in fact Demi-Cat's loyal minions!The literal cat burglars obediently bring all the stolen loot back to your little back alley hide out, and place it into a big pile in front of their half-feline boss.Demi-Cat: "HA! Not bad, my little guys! Damn, why don't I do this more often, eh? Here, boss man, your cut!"You receive another 100$ from Demi-Cat!Demi-Cat: "See, just as I told you! I can talk to cats, and they all see me as Apha Cat, so they do what I tell them to! Of course, this is not some lame Cat Mind Control - I can actually has conversations with these little bastards!"
>>5311760Demi-Cat: "Like, look at this little guy. Like, what the fuck is his deal, right? Don't you curious what's going on in his brain, yeah? Cmon, ask him a question and I'll translate for you, it's gonna be super cool"hmm, what do you guys wanna ask the little fella?
>>5311753>"GODDAMNIT! Heelp! Somebody heelp! My sweet pawn shop is getting robbed by a bunch of DAMN CATS, who are all moving with an uncanny coordination and conscious intent!top kek>>5311763>Is it true that all cats want to take over the world?
>>5311763>Why do you guys always, like, shove your buttholes in people's faces? What's up with that?
>>5311763>Can Demi-Cat actually talk to you?
>>5311763Why do you lick your balls? Does it feel good?
>>5311778what a silly question. of course it feels good.
>>5311763>when i pet cats, why do they always raise their butts up? riddle me that catbro.
>>5311763So what's up with your nine-lives? Is that real or is someone messing with me?
>>5311763why do you hate water?
>>5311763>What are his thoughts on cat dicks having spikes?
>>5311763"I don't want to talk to a CAT like some crazy CAT LADY! Uhh no offense... "
>>5311763Seocnding "Can you actually talk to Demi-Cat?", as this is the most important question for the mission ahead.
I miss the Young Adult Avenging Society, mostly Ultra Lass though
>>5311938We'll get to see them again, but they're way too powerful for us right now. They're like A-List, whereas we're not even good enough to be in the D-List
>>5311763>Attempt communication"Meow meow meow meow meow, meow mew, meow mrow?"
>>5311940No I think we're pretty D-list.Also I like how the QM is having all our crewmates' names start with D.
>>5312000>No I think we're pretty D-list.That would require us to have actually done something. The only criminal thing we did lately was escape from prison.>Also I like how the QM is having all our crewmates' names start with D.I didn't know what you were talking about until i realized that Jessica's codename is D_Bug
>>5311763.....why rob a pawn shop? Pawn Shops are typically where you can fence slightly less suspicious goods. Plus you kinda need a FENCE contact to actually sell the goods you steal. Dick. Move. And not the good kind of dick.
Of course! >>5311933 >>5311776 D-Man: "Can Demi-Cat actually talk to you?" HAH! This way we can catch Sarina on whether or not she is bullshitting us!Little Cat: " Meow meow mew, meow meow! Meow meow meow meoow. Meow meow! Meow, Meow. Meow meow: meow, meow. Meow? Meow, meow meow. Meow meow meow? Meow.Meow, meow meow.Meow meow; meow; meow meow. Meow."
>>5313087Demi-Cat: "He says yes"...WOW! Absolutely incredible!Demi-Cat: "Alright! Besides all that, my senses of smell and hearing are also enhanced, and I can see in dark! Yep, I am very cool, amazing and beautiful. So, should we get going now?"
D-Man: "HAH! Not so FAST, kitty cat! Don't you think I forgot you told me you can turn in to a cat! And at least a couple of anons wanted to see it! So do it!"Hah, little does she know that this is in fact our secret plan! Once she turns into a cat, we will be able to PET HER! >>5309227 >>5310670Finishing this Sub Quest will give us a 10, 000 XP points and unlock an alternative Skill Tree for our class!
Demi-Cat: "Eeeehh, do I have to???"Yes!Demi-Cat: "Are you sureee?"YES!Demi-Cat: "Fuck, okay, okay, I'll do it. Just, like, keep in mind, it's not very useful and I, ehm, I'm bad at it, okay? Okay. Like, give me second..."Oh no! It looks like Demi-Cat is not very good at this part of her powers! She's gonna need some help from anons! Namely, in a form of 1d6 Rolls! We'll combine the first two and see how well she does in her shapeshifting!
Rolled 5 (1d6)>>5313105
Rolled 4 (1d6)>>5313105
Rolled 2 (1d6)>>5313105SAILOR MOON POSE, GO!
>>5313120>>5313112looks like a 4.5/6 average-- not half bad!
>>5313093>...WOW! Absolutely incredible!LMAO Good shit.
>>5313105Cat-Centaur here we come
>>5313105Don't fear your powers, embrace them. Think of the potential! Image what you could do as a cat! You want simply walk or sneak past security check points, bypass small barriers designed for humans, use your cat charms to catch people while their guard is down. So powerful, much cool.
>>5313120>>5313112>>5313308Demi-Cat: "Alright! FUCK, alright, FUCK IT!WE DO IT! REMEMBER, YOU ASK FOR IT!HERE I GO, DICK MAN! I DO IT! AUGHHHAHH! IM.. IMA...IM MORPHIN!"
>>5313362Don't you mean.... Morbin?
>>5313362With sheer, primal fear in your heart your watch as Demi-Cat's body twists and shifts into a new form! It's... It's happening! She's doing it! She's really turning into a
>>5313373Jesus fucking christ your arms. You still have your arm. And you're a Lynx! You can't social sneak like this! You're more likely to have the pound or animal control called the catch you! We can't use this.
>>5313373Okay, okay she still has opposable thumbs-- we can make this work! All the better to, uh, grab more wallets with!>>5313253Perchance are you a certain cat-taur anon from another board? Just curious.
>>5313373>PET PET PET
Rolled 2 (1d6)>>5313373>Pet the freak
>>5313386Nope, I just thought it'd be funny. Please keep a lid on your degeneracy.
>>5313373Pet that cattish thing.
>>5313373>PETPETPETPETPETPETPETDon't make fun of her. She did warn us.
>>5313373>>5313380+1>Pet the monster with our boot
>>5313373A cat is fine too.
>>5313373oh god, please turn back
>>5313373To be fair she did say she got her powers from a lynx.
Alright! First things first!D-Man: "BLEEUGHGHGHGHHHH"
>>5315097After finishing your vomiting you approach transformed Demi-Cat and give her a reassuring pet!*pet* *pet* pet*She gives you a thumbs up! You wish she didn't!CAT: PETED! ACHIEVEMENT: UNLOCKED! SUB-QUEST: COMPLETED!You receive +10, 000 XP!!! You only missing 1 XP until your next LEVEL UP! Woah!Alright you maniacs, we only have time for ONE MORE THING until the night falls over the New City and we commence our epic heist!Where do you guys wanna go??? What do you guys wanna do???
>>5315099D-Man cap off his water capacity.Please ask Demi-Cat to change back.Do some research on the bastard that betrayed us.Acquire coffee or green tea for caffeine power.
>>5315099>Involuntary activate water spray while touching the thing's head
>>5315099>>5315099Cap off our water capacity and bring a big water bag gaara-style
>>5315099Fill our water cap, get some info on that fucking bird and reminisce about our family.
>>5315099Go steal some gas masks and filters.
>>5315459let's try this again, less dumb this timeYou decide to finish your little field exercise by taking Sarina out for coffee. You find a nice little café right in front of your beautiful artistic display!Sarina is slurping away a BIG cop of joe! She is now highly ENERGIZED, pure caffeinated POWER now flows through her mutant veins. She will get a +1 on all speed related rolls in the upcoming heist!You top off your body's water storage by asking the waiters for free cups of water. Again and again. And again. ...and again. You now have 100 liters of water! But still 0 liters of lightning...You spend your time by looking up info on Mr. Crumbs, the traitorous robot seagull who sent you to prison...
>>5315461You can delete posts, you know (check the bottom right corner of the page. Not too late if you're quick).
>>5315461>Put fingers in the wall socket to harvest some lightning
You use a smartphone that Jessica gave you to look for info! Apparently using a newspaper is not very effective these days, if Jessica is to be believed.You quickly find an article about Mr. Crumbs. Apparently, shortly after you went to prison, Mr. Crumbs became first ever robotic animal bajillionaire. In just two months he diversified his assets and built a giant commercial empire, gaining incredible influence and power all over the world. Many economic and cultural experts raised a voice of concern, saying things like: "Oh come the fuck on, he's obviously gonna become a super villain, are you guys serious here???" But, they all were silenced. With the power of money. Currently, Mr. Crumbs is somewhere outside the country, on some kind of business trip. His exact whereabouts are unknown...It's possible that with better resources and influence, you will be able to track him down!Reading about your arch enemy's success have left you feeling depressed... This is why you never read the news!You ADHD riddled mind wanders off to the bottom of the screen, where two clickbait articles have been prepared for you. You feel compelled to press one of them!Pick one of these two trash articles to distract your sad brain! This will determine what kind of flashback about your family you will get!
>>5315467: O thanks for the tip!
>>5315488The one on the right. We are a sucker for clickbait quizzes.
>>5315488Fantastic updates! Thank you.>Right
>>5315488>Left oneI'mmmmm gonnaaaaaa soiiiiii
>>5315488>LeftI bet number 4 is Ultra Lass
>>5315488>The left one
>>5315461Wait....are you saying we can have liters of lightning? Can we test that theory out by going to an electronic store, buying a pack of batteries, and trying to drain them? If it doesnt work then fuck it, we can give them to Jessica. Maybe he needs spare batteries for something.>>5315488Can we still test the theory of getting liters of lightning safely with batteries? If it works I propose grabbing a fork and sticking it on an electrical socket.
>>5315539>>5315525>>5315507>>5315500>>5315499>>5315491Eeeeeeggghhhhhh. You can't decide. Just need one more vote. One one hand you kinda wanna see who is that number four. Hopefully it's not Sombrero Detective, that would not be shocking at all. I swear to god if it's just Sombrero Detective you gonna break this phone in half.On another hand you have been discovering secret super powers left and right lately. It would be nice to find out if you have any more secret super powers left in you.>>5315545Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can do all that "useful" and "productive" stuff LATER. Right now we HAVE to read one of these clickbait articles!
>>5315547I dont like either of those. It might have viruses or some junk, or the one asking about powers might try to keep track of what powers D-man has.Why dont we just play Angry Birds on the phone and order a mocha?
>>5315547>RightMaybe we'll find out about a secret 3rd power this way?!?
>>5315547>strongest heroeswhat's no 4?
>>5315547>LeftBecause I wanna put it back into a tie!
>>5315547>You feel your brain melt as you're staring at the ads with empty eyes so you decide to fork the socket to snap out of it
>>5315595and you put it into the left, gj
>>5315547>>5315595>leftbecause I don't want it to be a tie
>>5315589THE QUIZ IT IS!"Question One!~You'd be surprised how much our adorable pets can tell about us! So, which pet do you like better, Dogs or Cats? Haha~"
>>5315602C-cats! (we have Demi-Cat right next to us, judging our every quiz choice!)
>>5315602Dogs, fuck cats.>t. cat and dog owner
>>5315602>>5315611>>5315615"You choose "Cats"! Great choice!Question Two!~There are sure all kinds of people and personality types out there! But who needs complexity, let's boil it down to two!So, are you a Go Getter Extrovert Successful Super Achiever? Or are you a Looser Passive Beta Bitch Boy Introvert ? Choose. Haha~"
>>5315626>a Looser Passive Beta Bitch Boy IntrovertI mean, we're a nerd pushover with daddy issues. Cmon.
>>5315626I will now proceed to lie on my internet quiz and pick 1
>>5315626We'll choose the *cooler* choice! Cause in no way are we a loser passive beta bitch boy-- nope, no siree.
>>5315626>Go Getter Extrovert Successful Super Achiever>>5315630..but D-Man is an extrovert?
>>5315626>Go Getter Extrovert Successful Super AchieverI mean, who else could talk to TWO people in ONE day?
>>5315626>Go Getter Extrovert Successful Super Achiever
>>5315626>ExtrovertW-we're super cool! Obviously!
>>5315626>Go Getter Extrovert Successful Super AchieverWe have assembled the best D list team there ever was. We’re an extrovert
>>5315628>>5315626"You choose "Looser Passive Beta Bitch Boy Introvert"! Wow! ...really? Well, good job on being honest, I guess.Final Question!~As we all now, the Super Power Phenomena first appeared in 1939, when Nazi Occult Scientists have used ancient Lemurian artifacts to break through the multidimensional barrier, exposing our planet to the influence of multitude of otherworldly realms. As a result, many have received wonderous qualities we call Super Powers, but many, many more have simply perished, as collateral damage in the earth's new found daily struggle to survive the interdimensional onslaught of unfathomable forces.Somehow, we barely made it through the decades, all thanks to the work and sacrifice of our Heroes. But how much longer can we truly go on? How much longer until the next alien invasion is just too numerous or the next giant hell monster just too powerful for us to deal with?What do you think? Is there Hope for humanity to continue and prosper or are we Doomed to be erased by one unlucky day?...Haha~ "
>>5315658Hope! We are too stupid to die!
>>5315667"You choose "Doom"! Great choice!Calculating your results...Your result: NO POWERSI'm so sorry, but unfortunately you don't have secret super powers. In fact, you don't have any powers at all You are completely, 100% powerless and normal. But don't be sad! Most people are just like you and they still find ways to live a great and exciting life! You could be a lawyer! ...or an accountant! Like, either one of those two things will be great for you! Remember, with no power, comes all the responsibility! Because SOMEONE has to pay taxes around here! Well, have fun!~"
>>5315658You better Hope
>>5315722The soul crushing result of this trashy quiz instantly triggers a painful memory of your past! And, of your family!That's right, it's true. You didn't have power for most of your life. Your father, the Black Beard Bastard had the power of Super Intelligence since the age of 5. Your mother, the Ocean Witch basically water bended her way out of the womb. And there you were, 12 years old and still now powers. And your folks, well, they kinda made you feel really shitty about it. They made a big deal out of this. Made you visit doctors, try weird drugs, gamma rays, aroma therapy, anything to unlock the power they believed you should have. You remember at some point they even discussed trying experimental surgery. Never got around to it, on the account of them both dying horribly.Maybe this is why you truly hated living on that boat. It wasn't the sea that made you sick, it was the feeling of guilt and inferiority.WELL FUCK YOU MOM AND DAD! FUCK YOU STUPID QUIZ! YOU showed them ALL! You were just a late bloomer! And now your are STRONG and POWERFUL!SHOW THEM! Show them ALL how COOL you are now! Do something with your powers RIGHT NOW! QUICK, Dick Bros, tell him something COOL to do!
>>5315765Summon lightning Super Saiyan style! DO IT NOW!
>>5315769We don't have any lightning.>>5315765>SUMMON A TIDAL WAVE
>>5315765Damn, momma thicc
>>5315783That's why I said SUMMON it down (from the power outlets or clouds)
>>5315765>CRY REALLY HARD
>>5315765How did these based people give birth to such a slimy pathetic loser?>Shoot a bird down with water. Imagine it's uh- what's his name- You know that bird who betrayed us.
Rub clouds together above the city and randomly rain lightning down in anger.
Is anyone comparing the events unfolding tk the tattoo? Afe we any closer to breaking the code?
>>5315765FREEZE SPACE AND TIME AROUND YOU! SMART-WATER YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE!>>5315838Come on. Don't be that guy.
>>5315832They raised a loser. And they died.
>>5315765I get that this is a meme quest that goes cynical for the sake of comedy but why don’t we try to make up with them, mentally speaking? Talk to them and shit.I mean, they’re our parents and they died while we had bad blood with them. They probably loved him, they just expressed their love in a shitty way.
>>5315765Cry about it.
Summon some lightning by making some clouds and rubbing them really fast
>>5315765LIGHTNING! PULL IT OUT OF THE SKY, OUT OF THE POWER CABLES! MAKE A BIG STORM AND GET ALL THAT SWEET LIGHTNING JUICE!
>>5315765>turn everyones coffee into iced coffee>mumble in incoherent pseudo Italian about gelato and mama mia>while unlocking another painful memory of ma never buying us ice cream
>>5316248Adding that to my vote at >>5315929>>5315765
>>5315929+1, no other way but to let it all out :(
>>5315929+1its healthy i guess.
>>5315765>>5315929>>5316248+1 To both of these, crying is healthy and we can mildly inconvenience some people!
You decide to express your emotions in a healthy way and cry profusely in public!The tears falling from your eyes are heavy and vast, just like your childhood trauma. Their saltiness reminds you of the sea, which makes you cry even harder, since that's where all the trauma happened.You use your powers to quickly suck up your tears back into your body, because FUCK YOU, WORLD, YOU DON'T DESERVE OUR TEARS!Sarina: "Ah, having painful family flashback, yeah Dick Man? I understand, happen to me all the time. ...Boy, you sure going at it huh. Let go back to Cat Café, okay? I promise to not tell Pussy Man how much you cry, yeah?"You packs up your sorrows and go back to your Secret Rogue Base 2 with Sarina.
>>5318381You get back to the Cat Café!Sarina: "PUSSY MAN, PUSSY MAN!!! Dick Man cry in public!!! It was SUPER SAD and DEPRESSING!"Jessica: "That's not my name. Glad you guys are back. I'm finally finished with the info gathering. Finding info on heroes was easy, but boy oh boy, hacking the servers of a government backed military-industrial site turned out to be much harder than I thought, I am exhausted! Well, I guess that's all for today, right?"Actually we are doing the heist like, tonight, right after the info dump. I'm trying to keep the passing going as fast as I can here.Jessica: "...holy shit, okay. I guess I'll, ehm, go take a nap in one of the cat beds... or something... Here, I put all the info on this phone, wake me up when we are ready to go... Jesus"
>>5318393You take the phone and find a presentation file on the three D-List Super Heroes that got asked to guard the Ancient Alien Artifact!"Steel Soldier!This guy was pretty big back in the 90s, but then suddenly quit being a Super Hero due to... alcoholism. At some point in those 20 years he finally got sober and now decided to get back into the Super Hero game. He is in his 40s, divorced and has a dog.It's a good thing we decided to check info on these guys! I figured his suit was some kind of power armor that I could hack, but turns out it's just a metal armor! Instead, this guy has power of magnetism! Not a very strong one, but strong enough to let him move this super heavy armor. Pretty smart!Oh, and apparently this guy used to be really good at fighting. Took on the Unbeatable Brawler and beat him in a brawl! He's washed up now of course, but still, better avoid direct confrontation with this guy."
"Tammy Tangle!She's been working for several years now but for some reason she doesn't have a lot of fan following or media coverage. So I had to dig up some police reports instead!Apparently she is actually really good at the whole Super Hero thing! Tons of arrests and saved people, zero casualties, very little property damage. She is definitely the most capable of these three. I couldn't find a lot of details on her powers, but she is some kind of stretchy shapeshifter! I saw a video of her stretching her arms and legs, but not sure what else she can do.
>>5318404Alright, we need to stop by he liquor store and buy some 40s>>5318413Shit, it's Gail the Snail. We'll need salt, but i think generally our powers should be able to handle her.
"Alpha Fire!This guy is pretty new. Haven't done a lot of impressive Super Hero work so far, but he sure works a lot on his social media presence! He has a whole blog of nothing but "Alpha Male" advice and those pictures where it's some random image of nature or a marble statue and a vaguely inspirational quote.As for his powers all he can do is fly and shoot fire from his hands. Yeah, he's a fire guy. Pretty generic. No physical enhancements or skills. Ice probably not gonna work on him, and the flying could be a problem in a chase scenario. Otherwise shouldn't be too much of a problem"
>>5318419Support the alcohol. Make it a good assortment of wines, beers, vodkas, etc.-- the best, most tantalizing shit we can get our hands on! Oh, and make sure we got a cooler and some fancy little wine glasses!>>5318413We can't lightning her. If she's stretchy, she's basically an insulator.>>5318427We shall lightning the fuck out of this guy.
The Ancient Alien Artifact is stored in the Research Lab B, which is located in the eastern wing of the building. There is minimal security in the lab, but a lot of researchers.The main building is crawling with armed security forces and various workers, but it is also the only direct way to get to the Lab B.The perimeter of the building is constantly patrolled by groups of two soldiers, and the whole site is surrounded by a tall fence.There is only one road and one gate leading into the site, obviously guarded by around 4 armed guards at a time. The site itself is in the middle of a forest, on the outskirts of the New CIty.It's impossible to tell where the Super Heroes are stationed in all this, unfortunately.ALRIGHT, DICK BROTHERS! This shouldn't be too hard for your wonderful brains! What's the plan? How do we pull this thing off?? Without going back to prison or dying, preferably???Any ideas are welcomed!
>>5318439First lets absorb 2 doses of lightning.Have the cat scout the rear fenceline in lynx-mode, and identify any security measures there. Anything electronic D_Bug can disable, allowing her to get inside. Buy some bolt cutters to make a hole in the fence if necessary.Once she gets inside, D_Bug can set off some security alarms on the other side of the compound. We'll water-pull some water pipes or sewage pipes to provide an access point into the building for Demi-Cat while everyone is elsewhere. Then we hop atop the building with steam-powers to deliver a monologue to the guards and heroes about how we're going to kick their asses, to buy time for Demi-cat while she's inside. Once they get tired of our monologue, we'll bust a hole into the roof because once inside we can block corridors with ice, and nullify flame-flyer's advantages. Flame-flyer is our priority target. He can prevent us from escaping and is a natural enemy to our powers. We'll lightning-fry him first chance we get. D_Bug will be providing general support this whole time.
>>5318439Use a bunch of cats to scout the place and distract the guards, then once we're inside let's disguise ourselves as personal, we let Jessica handle this part since he's the group smart guy and we try to not drawn attention to ourselves till we get to our target then we make our retreat.
>>5318468>>5318467Solid plans! I like the cat scout idea, but given Demi-Cat's... uhh... Transformation anxiety and creepy human arms, we should go with the plan of using actual cats, I think.Also, what if they attack us and take us down while we're monologuing?
>>5318468>>5318467>>5318439Support>>5318501Easy fix: no monologuing. Let's go through with the plan sigma male style-- sharp and silent!
Hold the fuck up when are we robbing a durian truck?
>>5318505But then how will we buy time for D_Bug and Demi-Cat to get inside, scout the interior, and disable security measure?>>5318519Dinner before dessert, anon.
>>5318439>Do a flip
>>5318438Tempting an ex alcoholic into becoming an alcoholic again is a little too evil and diabolical, even for a rogue. Let's just fuck him up the normal way, with our fists and powers.
>>5318741We'll stick to being a good rogue, but I say we still keep the alcohol as a failsafe-- absorb it and blast him if things go south.
>>5318802Would absorbing alcohol into our donut-organ make us drunk?Would we be able to control whether we shot water or booze at any given time? Or would we just constantly be shooting watered-down king's cup-tier shitmix?
>>5318824>cover the fire guy in alcohol>watch him fucking explode as soon as he tries to use his power
>>5318404Just zap lightning at him.>>5318413Freeze her so she cant stretch>>5318427No you say that ice doesnt work on him, but you do know that ice can explode if theres a great enough shift in temperature? Just throw chunks of ice at him and watch him get chunky salsa'ed.>>5318439Jessica? Can you tap all incoming and out going communications with you hacking powers? Preventing them from calling out for help would make the play exponentially easier, and give us a little more wiggle room if shit hit the fan.Do we have an internal layout of the facility? Do we know exactly what we're looking for? Do we have and secondary or tertiary objects to steal, like military data we can sell on the black market?
>>5318824Getting completely wasted in preparation for a heist sounds like a proper dick move I'll support it!
>>5318413>She's been working for several years>doesn't have a lot of fan followingI wonder, if we pretend to be a fan and ask for an autograph could we get close enough to freeze her?its a dick move, but charming if we are nice even when she is frozen.also the line "keep being cool, Tammy!" would fit perfectly.>>5318467Cant the distraction be pulling a lot of clouds into the site to have an absurly dense fog?Maybe make some fog monsters we control like puppets.That would be neat.
>>5319051Pretending to be her fan sounds like a dick move, so exactly what we'd do!
>>5319051>Cant the distraction be pulling a lot of clouds into the site to have an absurly dense fog?I like this
>>5319281this is a pretty good idea but is our water pulling range enough to do that? The last time we did that, we were literally surrounded by clouds.
>>5319281>>5319051>>5319285>>5318989>>5318519>>5318467Awesome. This is gonna be fun.The heist will commence tomorrow! Because QM needs a break from an exhausting workday! Please look forward to it, we might not even go to prison this time!
>>5319285true, maybe make the coulds?We control water, I'm sure we can be a fog machine.>>5319458nice
>>5319458Rest well, QM!
Somewhere on the outskirts of the New City, a military-industrial site stands in a middle of a forest. Packs of heavily armed guards patrol the site, entirely unsuspecting of the shitstorm they got coming.
>>5320733A small party of dark and mysterious figures approach the site slowly from the forest.Who could these enigmatic ,and very sexy, strangers possibly be???
>>5320739Yeah, yeah, it's the Dick Crew. Sorry, I just wanted to make it more dramatic. It's just them. They came to crime it up in here. You know.>>5319285 >>5319281 >>5319051Of course using clouds for cover would be the best move, but this time the clouds are far, far away and you can't reach them with your abilities...Oh well, I guess this is failure already, let's go home everybody.
Sike! Water powers, bitch! You already know you can change the state of water when you shoot it out, you already tried your hands on the clouds and you even created steam jets before!Combining everything you know you can make...
ah yes, a smoke screen
>>5320752... a giant veil of clouds and mist! Big enough to cover the whole site!You have 90 liters of water left!
Why did we not bring a big bag of water again? I told you people we should have gotten one.
>>5320754Guard A: "D-Damn! As if the day wasn't going shitty already. Now we gotta patrol in this shitty weather"Guard B: "Hate this kind of fog. Makes me feel like I am being watched"
>>5320758Little did the Guard B know, he IS being watched. Watched by several feline eyes, hidden just behind the fog!
After gathering info, groups of cat return one by one to report to Demi-Cat!Demi-Cat: "Alright. Alright. Yeah, ok. Yeah. Alright, cool, got it, thanks. Now get back in there and tail every guard, good kitties, yeah!Okay boys, I know exact routes and timing of guard patrol now, thanks to my little kitty spies!"D_Bug: "Yeah, and this is the right spot, this side of the building is where the target is located and there is a blind spot in the cameras right over there!"You take bolt cutters that you brought along and cut a nice big hole in the fence! Nice!
On the Demi-Cat's mark you book it right through the field surrounding the building, avoiding all the guards and making it right to the spot that D_Bug pointed out!Success!
Bingo! You make it to the outside wall of the Lab B, keeping yourself snuggly right in the camera's blind spot!
Incredible! So far this is going great! But now comes the hard part...There is only one direct path into the Lab B, through the main entrance, of the main building, where the million guards are stationed.Alternatively, when you think about it, there is only this wall that separates you from your target. I'm sure you can think up some crazy bullshit to smash through the wall... but then of course, it's all over for the stealth approach. Alternatively alternatively, D_Bug says there is a small entrance on the roof of the building, leading right into the Labs. But the roofs have at least two guards, stationed at all times... Aight, the heck do we do now???
>>5320783Create a distraction at the top of the lab with an especialky cute cat, drawing the attention of the two guards. Then, sneak in behind them and through the roof entrance.
>>5320790Support the cats haven't failed us till now.
>>5320793And if they do, give 'em a water blast or freeze-blast.
>>5320783Can we create a super high pressure hydro sword/shot? If so we can probably just cut our way into the wall, while D-Bug sends some robots or something to distract the guards by being loud and annoying so they don't focus on the noise of us cutting into the building.
>>5320783Make an ice pillar to quietly raise the D-Crew up, and then reabsorb it. Assuming there's not a problem with reabsorbing solid water.
>>5321261>>5320790+1 either of these
>>5320783>>5321056+1 Was just about to suggest this.
>>5320783Ask D_bug to tamper with that fuse box I see in the image.Not sure what that is
>>5320783I'm still in favor of us making a loud distraction while D_Bug and Demicat go for the goods.If we don't do something to draw attention I suspect we'll find a hero sitting on our objective...and then we'll be engaging them and the entire compound on their terms rather than ours.
Meanwhile, on the roof!Roof Guard A: "Damn. This is like, definitely not normal, right? All this fog rolling in all the sudden? This has to be a villain attack, right?"Roof Guard B: "Jerry, stop. You always do this. Car broke down? You say it's a super villain attack. Toilet clogged? Oh no, it's super villains coming to get us. It's just weather Jerry. Just. Weather."Jerry: "Okay, okay, I get. Sorry, Clide. Just being paranoid I guess"
>>5323086Clide: "Wait! What is that?"Jerry: "What? You mean the strange moist sounds coming from behind our backs?"Clide: "No! I mean that thing right in front of us!"
>>5323088Jerry: "Oh damn! It's a cat, Clide!"Clide: "Not just any cat, man. This is an especially cute cat!Jerry: "Yep, can't deny that. This is definitely one of the cutest cats I've ever seen."Clide: "What an adorable little fella" Jerry: "Absolutely precious."
>>5323093Jerry: "Whelp. This was a great experience and I'm glad I got to look at a cute cat today, but I'm thinking this is about as much visual stimulation I can get out this cat"Clide: "Yeeep. Hear that partner. I don't think there is much to look at here anymore. What say we turn around [и]right now[/и] and check out the other side of this roof?"Jerry: "I think that's a great idea, alright let's do it right n..."
>>5323099Jerry: "OH SHIT CLIDE! THE CAT IS BREAKDANCING! THAT CAT IS BUSTING SICK MOVES RIGHT IN FRONT OS US!!!"
>>5323102Clide: "This is incredible. Definitely the best thing I've seen all week"Jerry: "Okay, like, THIS has to be a work a of a super villain, right? Some cat themed super villain is making this cat act in such an unnatural way to get us distracted, RIGHT?Clide: "Jerry, I told you, you need to stop this paranoid behavior. It's unhealthy. Just enjoy this moment and look at this incredible cat killing it on the dancefloor."
>>5323099I wonder which one is Jerry
Success! You infiltrated the Lab Building!You and your team land on the floor and strike a cool pose, ready for action! You take out your Icicle Gun, ready for a shoot out! The Icicle Gun is of course just your fingers, from which you shoot bullet shaped icicles. But thankfully, the hallways is empty (for now).To the west there is the Snack Room!To the north there is a wall, with two doors leading to Labs C and D To the east there is stairs, leading to the first floor, where Labs A and B are located!To the south there is nebulous void of the Fourth Wall, best left alone.What's our next move, Dick Squad?Oh, also, totally forgot. Before the start of the mission, you jacked yourself with some electricity to store up on lightning. 10 liters of lightning costs you 1 Hit of Health to absorb - how many liters did you suck up before the start of the heist?>>5323106Which one do you want to be Jerry?
>>5323110Let’s take a brief snack-room intermission and THEN go to the labs!>20 liters
>>5323110Lab A and B>20 liters of lightning juice
>>5323110>Tell sarina to go into lab D and use her finely honed cat burgler instinct to find valuable research material and Jessica to go into lab C and find some valuable and cool power armor research so that we can sell those valuable stoof on the black market>While we stand outside to stay of any guards that may come our way from the snack room, oh and tell them to be quick, our main objective is still the ancient alien artifact.
>>5323102>OH SHIT CLIDE! THE CAT IS BREAKDANCING!LMAO Great stuff, QM. >>5323110Clide has to be the fat one. 20 liters of lightning.>>5323241I like this plan, but we go to the snack room. Before that,>Camera pan behind Dick Man to look at the Fourth Wall.
>>5323093>>5323102Lmao, great work QM.>>5323241Support. But watch out for guards and cameras.
>>5323241+1The breakdancing cat made me laugh out loud OP.
>>5323106Jerry is the guy without the beard. Clide is recording the cat killing on the dance floor.
>>5323110>Attempt to break the 4th wall>After failing, proceed into the Cool Power Armor Research labLet's get D_Bug to hack the cool power armor to serve as a distraction
>>5323241Supporting this. Divide and concur! You know what they say: ALWAYS split the party. >>5323110
The plan is obvious! Demi-Cat and D_Bug are gonna scout Labs C and D and loot them for extra goodies, while Dick Man guards the hallway! Then you get back together and go get the main target!You explain the plan to your crew, while slowly bleeding from your nose (a result of sucking up a bunch of electricity before the heist) ( You have 20 liters of lightning and 8 Hits of Health )D_Bug uses his super powers to unlock both of the lab doors!
>>5325795And the two of them are off, each entering a separate lab! Each one full of determination! (to find cool and expansive stuff to steal)What kind of exciting and wacky mini adventures will these two have? Will they succeed in their side quests to steal side treasures?? Will they even comeback ALIVE???...let's find out! Like, right now. Starting with Demi-Cat!
>>5325804For this mini-venture, we will narratively enter the mind of Sarina the Demi-Cat!Your mind is filled with Eastern European sense of despair and a vague hatred for Serbians.You instinctively scan the room for men, from whom you can steal wives, and also women, from whom you can steal husbands (because let's be honest, you're not picky about the gender, you just like stealing spouses)Your enhanced, beast like senses pick up every sound and smell around you, including the sounds and smells of three nerds that populate this lab.Lab Nerd: "OH! Hey, fucking FINALLY! You are the new human test subject right? For our illegal human test subject thing? We've been waiting for you the whole day. This new Sup-Juice we cooked up is absolutely fire."OH! The Sup-Juice! You know what that is! It's one of the highest value goods on the black market! A serum created with a secret formula, using spinal fluids of mutant type supers. A normal human being who takes it has a chance to gain a bunch of random physical enhancements and become a super powered person! They also have a high chance of becoming super disabled. Or super dead. Lab Nerd: "Wow, you even got a super suit and everything. That's kinda sad. Anyways, let's get this show on the road! We gonna jack this bad boy into your blood stream and see how it's gonna jack you up!"Alright, Cat Boys, what's our move here?
>>5325842Sounds freaking neat! We're next!
>>5325842Use our feline powers to jump straight up and push the camera out of the line of view, then run around knocking out the nerds, and finally stealing the serum plus the laptop along with any other secrets in the lab.
>>5325842Knock out the scientists and steal the super serum, and maaaaybe inject some of that shit bro! Also make sure to scoop up the coke that one scientist is snorting, that's at least a couple hundred right there!
>>5325842Call their attention to a very cute cat which we have absolutely no affiliation and when they are distracted use this chance to steal their shit.
>>5325842Turn into a.... catthing and beat them unconcious.
>>5325874>>5325970>>5326213Let's mix all of these. Say you will take the serum, point to a cleverly displaced cat then pretend you took the serum while nabbing all their shot then proceed to transform, we suck at it so the result will be soo ugly they will think we drank but it failed.
>>5326775Clever! Let's do this!>>5325842>what 2QsipIIS said
>>5326775+1And don't forget to beat them unconscious
>>5326775I'll switch to this, smart plan.
>>5326833>>5326832>>5326827>>5326775Yes! Sorry for the extra delay guys, had to take care of some work stuff. Please tune in tomorrow for the unfoldment of our epic cat based scheme!
>>5325842STEAL THE NERDS! And their research notes. They could make us stuff and we can sell it for money.Then torch the whole place.
>>5328505Whew, lad. Where were you earlier?
>>5328591Tired, busy, and distracted. I love this quest buy life tends to take most of my attention.
Demi-Cat: "YES!~ I LOVE drinking experimental mutant drug! Yum, yum, here I goooo!"
>>5329049Demi-Cat: "Omg, what the fucks??? What's over there? What's that over there, at the opposite side of the rooms???"Lab Nerd: "Wha..."
Vent Cat: "Mew"Coke Nerd: "Damn. There is a cat. In the vent."Floor Nerd: "It appears to be some kind of a... vent cat"Vent Cat: "Mew mew"
Lab Nerd: "Okay, what the fuck? Why is there a cat in the vent? This is literally the most distracting thing ever. Like, I am distracted by the cat RIGHT NOW, this is how distracting this is."While the nerds are distracted by the tactically placed vent cat, Demi-Cat picks up an empty vial on the ground and pours the Sup-Juice into it!Lab Nerd: "Egh, okay, whatever. I'll get a science janitor to get it out later. Let's get on with this experiment already!"
Demi-Cat: "All done!~ *BUUURP* Mmmmm, yum, yum! This was very good mutagen serum, definitely in top 5 I've ever had! Can I has more?"Lab Nerd: "Ehm. No, sorry, we only had that one. Alright! This is good! Your body should begin to change any second now! If you start to feel like your bones are becoming liquid, please tell me so I can hide behind the desk for the explosion. I mean. Ehm. Just tell me, okay?"Alright! Time for the most crucial part of our plan! IT'S ANIMORPHIN TIME!Just like the last time, I'm gonna need two 1d6 from two anons to see how well Sarina does it this time!
Rolled 1 (1d6)>>5329070morbin time
Rolled 2 (1d6)>>5329070>>5329077You've DESTROYED US ALL!
>>5329080not like you did much better
Rolled 1 (1d6)>>5329070Oh god.
>>5329087DESTROYED US ALL!
Rolled 6 (1d6)>>5329095
maybe this is good? if our metamorphosis is shitty enough the nerds might just straight up faint
>>5329097Fuck you, you were too late.
>>5329077this is fine, succeed or fail they'll just think the serum failed anyway which is fine for us.
>>5329105Just streams of vomit!
>>5329077>>5329080This ain't good
>>5329077>>5329080Demi-Cat: "Hhhngg, oh god! I can feels it! I can feels it coming! There's something rumbling in my stomach for sure!"Lab Nerd: "Oh, awesome! Maybe you'll get a super digestive system! Then we get to feed you a bunch of trash and see how..."
Demi-Cat: " Hhhhhh, oh god! OH GOD! HERE IT COME! HERE IT COMEEE! FORGIVE ME MOTHER"Lab-Nerd: "Ehm, please relax, it's just Sup-Juice, there shouldn't be any visible mutat..."
Demi-Cat: " AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Lab Nerds: "BLEUURGH, EGH, OH GOD, OH GOD THIS IS DISGUSTING BLEUGH... BLEUGHGHGHGHHH"The lynx face inside your stomach screams, like a lynx https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaXmIPHrHmYLab Nerds continue to vomit!...Lab Nerds still continue to vomit! They are completely overtaken by the need to vomit!......
>>5330426Sweet, sweet victory.
>>5330426MISSION COMPLETE!You receive the side loot: The Sup-Juice!You can sell it for 2d6 millions of bucks on the black market, or give it to a person without mutant type super powers. A normal person who drinks it will receive random physical super enhancements! (or random physical disabilities)Incredible. Alright, let's see how Jessica is doing in the "Cool Power Armor Research" Lab. Speaking of......what kind of super cool and ludicrously expensive item might Jessica find in the Lab? Give me some ideas, Dick Champions!
>>5330445A gundam suit!
Rolled 5, 5 = 10 (2d6)>>5330445>A USB-A drive which, plugged into a device, converts all its ports to USB-A ports through techno-sorcery. Stabbing a person with it gives THEM a USB port instead of a wound.
>>5330452>>5330445This sounds extremely devious, but what happens if we try to plug a normal USB into the stab wound?Supporting this with my vote!
>>5330445>A MINI ROBOTIC SERBIAN. IT IS ABOUT AS STRONG AS THE AVERAGE SERBIAN CHILD. SO VERY STRONG.
>>5330445A portable pocket dimension we can use to steal the scientists! The only thing worth more than cool tech, is having a steady supply of cool tech! These scientists are obviously worth more in the long run if they can make more of these things.Also they might be able to fix your mutation so you don't have the cat on your chest, and maybe complete your lynx transformation so you don't have human arms.
>>5330445Ludicrously expensive? How about some ultra-expensive, ultra-fancy cybernetic implant?
>>5330462Don't body-shame our burglar.
>>5330445Some EXTREMELY NERDY and DORKY-LOOKING DEVICE that you can't really figure out, being a NON-NERD and all, but apparently it makes hacking really easy? Somehow?
>>5330445The beta version of Half-Life 3.
>>5330537No anon, we're playing as D-Bug, remember? Obviously Jessica would go for the holographic waifu, she can become the "face" of our squad. Codename Distraction.
>>5330674>just rip off ArcherNah.
>>5330445>A high-tech karaoke machine that only has 80’s rap songs. If all the lyrics are rapped correctly it turns into transforms into a 80’s gangster rapper with a laser gun for 30 minutes. Why? I don’t know.
>>5330445A Kamen-style Rhinoceros beetle powersuit
>>5330445A container with a mini-bot drone swarm inside. The swarm is powered by solar energy and cannot perform self-replication, increase beyond a certain threshold, and the drones will self-destruct if they get too far from the container... But leaving the container in the sun and supplying it with the proper materials can replenish the swarm.
>>5330445A mini ufo that you can shrink into your pocket and expand at anytime, anywhere.
>>5330445Oh wait no this is a cool power armour research lab. Change my vote into a literal power armour powered by some absolute zero freeze tech doohicky.
Knowing QM he's going to combine all of these write-ins and make a solar-powered karaoke machine that summons Robot Serbian Gender-bent Tupac in a Kamen-style Rhinoceros beetle powersuit from a portable pocket dimension called the karaoke rap dimension which is inhabited by a tiny swarms of nano-rappers who repair robo-pac-girl.It'll last about one thread and one super-fight before being conveniently destroyed so that QM doesn't have to keep drawing the overly-detailed gag character. And it'll be awesome.
>>5331127can it make pizzas too?
>>5331127Red pilled or blue pilled?
>>5330445Strength enhancing exoskeleton skinsuit.
>>5330672honestly, thisif only to see how the QM would subvert it and makes us regret our decision
>>5330445A haunted animatronic bear?
Alright! Now let's move into the mind of Jessica the D_Bug, a super powered hacker extraordinaire!You push away the deep, burning anxiety that lives within your heart every second of your life, and walk into the Lab C!You really need a win on this one. Yeah, you are pretty much the only one with a functional brain on the team currently, but you need to also be useful in the field! You need to be a real Super Rogue!Whatever you have to face in the lab - you got this! There can't be ANYTHING there that you can't handle! With your brains, your super powers and your cool robotic limbs, you are prepared for ANY CHALLENGE! BRING. IT. ON
oh godBlack Haired Tech Girl: "Oh, hi! Haven't seen you around here before!"oh god oh noBlack Haired Tech Girl:" Ehmm? OH! Right! You must be the guy from Engineering that we requested, right? Here to help us out on the project? Nice to meet you! I'm Seo-yeon!"She gestures towards the other two.Seo-yeon: "The gal in the back is Sam, and this this here is Lily!"
Lily: "What the heck! I didn't know they had guys this tall and huge in Engineering! Are you, like, 10 feet tall? Do you have a girlfriend?~"Seo-yeon: "Oh my, is this Type-C Combat Fabric?? Is this standard issue in Engineering or is this a custom design? ...Oh! ...Quite, ehm, quite a lot of muscle over here! Do you work out?~"Sam: "Dude, is this freaking Arthro-Tech? Where did you even get this? Can I try it on?~"
>>5332590Welp, he's doomed. Gg, D_Bug.
>>5332591AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWaves of panic and social anxiety crush against your soul. You can feel your palms becoming sweaty. You are shaking. You might vomit. PLEASE DON'T VOMIT. Not like this. NOT AGAIN. This can't be like high-school all over again!Dork Bros, our boy needs help! I'm switching him into manual, his all yours. You'll have to navigate him through this situation. Just tell him what to do, what to say and how to act. And don't forget to roll a 1d6 Not-Spilling-Spaghetti roll, along with your instructions!
Rolled 5 (1d6)>>5332605Don't drop spaghetti, don't drop spaghetti
Rolled 4 (1d6)>>5332605Don't be intimidated Jessica, imagine then as Western made 3D chars. Now tell then you're the new intern, you boss told you to come here and gather a certain number of equipments which conveniently are the most important and expensive looking stuff.
Rolled 4 (1d6)>>5332605cmon Jess this is what you have been dreaming about in all these lonely nights! You can walk out here with all this gear AND 3 hot nerdy girls! You can pull this off! Start by talking about your massive gear...
Rolled 3 (1d6)>>5332605Take on the questions one at a time.Answer Lily. I ate my Wheaties growing up. No, we don't have a girlfriend.Answer Seo-Yeon. Custom design. No, it just comes naturally.Answer Sam. Maybe after we get underway on this project... Leave open the possibility, but don't commit. Maybe drop digits after.Get a quick briefing of what they're working on. If they ask why our boss didn't tell us, say we don't know either. You know how it is.I believe in you, Jessica. Also, uh. Maybe just introduce yourself as Jessie.
Rolled 5 (1d6)>>5332663Supporting.>>5332605
Rolled 6 (1d6)>>5332605Fake it 'til you make it, Jessica. You got this. Answer their questions.Give a strength pose. Yes, you have a girlfriend. COMPUTERS! But she's hasn't been giving you that same electric feel.Yes, I've made this myself. I'm pretty good with my hands. Give a smile and a wink.And I'd love to see you wearing this.Roll for prosperity.>>5332590>>533258010/10 Designs
Rolled 5 (1d6)>>5332701This. Exactly this.
it's all good rolls, our boy Jess is getting some hot, sweaty, unshaven nerd girl puss.
>>5332746They will all be stolen by Sarina. Don't be naive.
>>5332749Only if they get married.
>>5332612>5>>5332605You're doing great Jessica! If Dickman were here he would be cheering you on! We believe in you!
Rolled 5 (1d6)>>5332605
>>5332612>>5332615>>5332663>>5332673>>5332701>>5332965Jesus christ, the dice gods want Jessica to slay tonight.
>>5332970I was aiming for another 6 desu
>>5332970https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_IYLqIjtMgHe better! Clearly D-man has been teaching him some moves.
Rolled 2, 1 = 3 (2d6)Rolling for the size of Jessie's junk
>>5332976following in the Big D's footsteps.......
>>5332701yes, Jessica!channel your "what would Dick Man do" inherited machismo!
>>5332663+1Jessica will end up doing something stupid.but let it be productive stupid.
>>5332977The Dick Crew AKA the 3-Inchers
Rolled 6, 1 = 7 (2d6)Rolling for the size of Sarina's junk
>>5332991Turns out >>5332749 was correct.
Sorry guys, got a little too busy with stuff during the weekend - the epic seduction of the Tech Girls shall commence tomorrow! >>5332976Canon>>5332991Canon
>>5334737>Only 7 inchesPffff, pathetic!
>>5332701Jessica: "I'd love to see you wearing this.~ You'd look so great with four awesome robot arms!"Sam: "...Nice~ Thanks~"...Sam has been smitten!
Jessica: "And yes. I've made this myself. I'm pretty good with my hands.~ Wink~ I am winking right now~"Seo-Yeon: "Oh!~ Oh, my~ I, ehm, I bet you are, haha~"Seo-Yeon has been seoduced!
Jessica: "Yes, I have a girlfriend. COMPUTERS! But she's hasn't been giving you that same electric feel~ Sorry, that was a joke. I do not have a girlfriend. Just looking for that special one, you know? A smart and beautiful woman of science~ Or three"Lily: "Woow!~ That was such a dumb thing to say, but you just said it like it was nothing! Such an incredible confidence!"Lily has been... lulled into a sense of loving Jessica??? fuck, I dunno, this literary joke doesn't work anymore, she wants to fuck you, okay? Got it? Great, let's move the next post.
Jessica: "My name is... Jessie, by the way! Jessie, the Engineer! Now let's take a look at your project, shall we?"
Lily: "This here is the project! Or a pain in our butts, more like it!"Seo-Yeon: "This machine has been seized from an abandoned warehouse, that used to belong to Tyron the Man, a 90s super villain. After a failed rap career he became a villain, and the greatest power armor creator in history! He built cool power armors that outclass anything we can make even today!"Lily: "After doing some scans, we believe this mysterious machine is in fact a container! Inside it, there is an empty space, no doubt housing one Tyron the Man's incredible inventions!"Sam: "I smashed it with a wrench. Didn't work"Seo-Yeon: "Well, yes. This thing is made out of some serious meta material. Anything strong enough to break it open, would definitely destroy the prize inside as well"Lily: "Then we tried mashing all the buttons randomly! And still nothing... We have no idea how to open this thing! Will you help us with this conundrum, Jessie?~"Alright, Nerd Crew! Here's out challenge! Whatever is inside this thing will no doubt be incredibly valuable! We gotta get it to prove our worth to the Dick Crew! And also the girls are watching, so we really can't fail with this one! Aight. What do we do here?
>>5336635Jessman controls technology with his hands, no? He can just touch it and open it.
>>5336637Support.>>5336635Whisper sweet nothings, gently caress the machine, convince it to open up to us. We're doing pretty alright at seduction so far, after all.
>>5336606>>5336609>>5336615>>5336616>>5336635lmao Look at this fucking Jojo posing shoujo bishōnen looking guy. 10/10.We have to sing. Sing like there's no tomorrow. This song.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoFSQeOAYz4
>>5336635>Start rapping epic freestyle bars
>>5336635>>5336642Or these two songshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCiDuy4mrWU
>>5336635>>5336648>>5336642>>5336635Forgot the other song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgwEECqAkLk
>>5336616god, can't believe we just memed JessiE into a "nerdy guy takes off glasses and becomes incredibly hot" tropeyou're a treasure, qm
>>5336647Obviously we need to rap. I don't think Tyler the man would build a machine to be opened by Kpop.
>>5336642>>5336648>>5336654>>5336647>>5337488>Not singing https://youtube.com/watch?v=Jrg9KxGNeJY&t=123
>>5336635Jessman you are amazing. D-man is going to throw a party in your honor!You did it! You talked not just 1, but THREE PRETTY LADIES! You have overcome one of your weaknesses and you're stronger for it.
>>5337886I'm sure he appreciates the peptalk. And the party will take the edge off when a catgirl steals his harem.
>>5336635This situation is making me nervousJessica, you dont have your equipment!You are (metaforicaly) naked!PANIC!
>>5336635There's honestly a few songs that can solve this. Jessica is a game nerd, so he might know this song.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3jCAyPai2YIt doesn't matter if you feel or sound like a goof. So long as you enjoy what you sing, all is right in the world. It doesn't matter if they laugh with or at you, because you're a pretty cool dude.>>5336642>>5336648>>5336654nice choices>>5336637+1 this, but only after he finishes singing and or rapping.
>>5336635....wait, is it me, or is that think not connected to a wall socket? yeah I don't think they remembered to put it in a power outlet.
>>5338481Pretty sure it's connected to some sort of floor socket, could be wrong though.
>>5338481its not you.Now that you mention it, it does look like it has no power.
Hold strong QM, I believe in you, come back to us king!
>>5343214This QM DOES have a tendency to disappear for a few days at a time.
So this is how fun dies... Not with a conclusion or even an explanation, but silently shuffling into the grave...
>>5344800Seven days IS a record, but I hold out hope.
Thanks for running.
>>5336637Of course! Let's just use our hacking super power!Jessie: "Lemme try an old engineer trick"*BLAM!* You give the machine a strong smack (while infecting it with your computer virus)
>>5345044*BZZT* *BZZT* The infernal karaoke machine comes to live! The Machine: "BOOTING. BOOTING. ERROR. HACKING ATTEMPT DETECTED. ACTIVATING THE HOLOGRAPHIC INTERFACE COUNTERMEASURE. BITCH. "Suddenly, a powerful light comes out of the screen and forms into...
... and forms into a hologram of Tupac Shakur from the 2012 Coachella music festival!Of course! You should have seen this coming! Holo Tupac is the only hologram that survived the Holowars of 2016, and now is commonly used in various villain technology.Holo Tupac : "Hold it! You are not cleared for accessing the insides of this container! If you wish to gain clearance, you will have to pass a security test, to prove that you are not a little bitch!"
Holo Tupac : "To pass the security test, you must successfully freestyle a rap song! My sophisticated Rap AI will judge your style and flow, and if it's sufficient, assign you an appropriate clearance.However, if your style is wack and your rap game is lacking, I will release a cloud of killer nanobots into the atmosphere, eliminating all life within 5 kilometer radius.THE RAP BEAT SHALL BEGIN IN 20 SECONDS. RAP OR DIE, MFUCKA."Holy shit, D_Bug team! This serious! Our poor boy Jessica will need all the help he can get on this one!QUICK! Throw him some sick rhymes! Or just okay rhymes! Literally, just, any lines that rhyme will do. Because otherwise we will be dead.
Also I wanted to apologize for the long ass pause. I'ma gonna be honest with you guys, things aren't very good in my life right now, due to some socio-economic and geo-political factors, that are outside of my control. So outside of my control in fact that my brain hasn't been coping very well lately. And on some days I just can't make myself do anything after work, but stare at a wall or something.BUT I am determined to continue this drawquest to the very end. I'll do my best to not disappear for this long in the future.Thank you <3
>>5345067MAH NAME'S D BUGIMMA SICK THUGGOT THE SWAG ON FO' MY MAN, THE DICKCAUSE THE OPERATION WE GOT GOIN' ON IS SICKEAT YO HEART OUT HOLO-TUPACCUT THE D-BUG HERE A LIL' SLACKGONNA GIVE ME A STRAIGHT-UP HEART ATTACKIF THE ONLY THING YOU GIVIN' ME IS STRAIGHT FLAKGONNA TAKE ALL THE GIZMOSGONNA TAKE THE BITCHESANYONE WHO TELLS ME OTHERWISE GONNA SEE SOME STITCHESSOMEONE ELSE HELP ME FINISH THE RAP I JUST PULLED THIS SHIT OUT OF MY ASSHOLEpEACE
>>5345067I'm a spiritual lyrical individualSpiritual miracle lyrical individualSpiritual miracle individualSkippin' and flippin' and dippin'And skippin' and flippin' and dippin'The illest, the killest, the skill of the willest>>5345076Hey man that is not very nice to hear, hope things eventually improve and that we will be here to help bring you the funnies.
>>5345080Don't wanna be a downer, but do we really want to disclose our plans with those hoes and the JukePac?Myself I was gonna use our google glasses to drop modified version of Geno Leonardo's Suicide on his head.>>5345076That sucks, QM. Hope you get a grip on all the life shit soon and maybe talk to somebody.
>>5345103I mean, I was going to rely on the power of willful ignorance (aka the girls are so seduced by D-Bug that they frankly don't give a crap about what we're singing so long as we save them from dying). Also, isn't this a *villainous* hologram? The last thing that'll give a crap is the homicidal hologram.Though I might just change my vote if someone comes up with something with more S W A G.
>>5345108Idk our current situation that well, just trying to point out what could be a potential mess up. Also sadly im not a lyricist so rip.
>>5345117Hey you dont need to be a lyrical miracle, just an individual. If you got a couple of rhymes do bring them to the table. We are all here to have fun.
>>5345128My brain only knows ctrl+C, ctrl+V.
>>5345130>>5345096What do you think I did?
>>5345076That's horrible man. Take time and relax. >>5345067Jessie the Engineerto fix it upBarking in hereyou's just a pupThe creator, the maker, the Arthro-Tech flowstackerI need to groove with more arms on my backpackerCombat Fabric is stylin so sickCustom made to never itchThat's right. That's right.That's right.Everything I sewn/stolen/swolenfrom my own two handsThat's rightThis mind, this body, and this soulI'mma spiritual miracle lyrical Individual
>>5345080+1I don't care if this reveals our plans this is the best one.
>>5345221covert ops Individual
>>5345076That's rough, man. I've been feeling pretty miserable this last year, too. I get you. Find your comfort where you can, and stay strong. Know that, while you're semi-anonymous here, your art is appreciated, your art and your spirit have a home here. You are appreciated.
>>5345130>>5345221>>5345080>>5345096Alright, let me try my hand here...>>5345067I’m the D-Bug,A straight thug,A lyrical, spiritual, biological individualWho mean-mugs.You’re what?A copy, that’s what I seeAll you got it control-CAnd Control-V!You’re wack,No Tupac,No Shakur,Yeha man, of that man,I’m damn sure!You’re pretending to be a legendA musical maestro, But you’re all zeroes and ones,Nanobots, holo-peen,But ‘bots don’t plap BUNS,SON.These gains are natural,Your form’s artificial,I’m cruising with Dick Man,You ride solo, digital. You ain’t some cool cat,Sarina’s where it’s at,Caper puts you to shame,Yeah man that’s why I CAMEHere to litra’ly own ya’,Now listen why I scold ya’,You’re busted an old,SIT DOWN, DO WHAT YOU’RE TOLD,SON.(And if you ain't know, now you know)
>>5345076Hang in there. One day at a time.
>>5345076I'm not an awesome rapper like these other anons so I'll +1 theirs. I'm just glad you're back OP, no need to apologize or anything. I think your art and your writing is cool and awesome and I've thought that since Existential Safety Department. Sending as many good feelings as one can send through an ironic anonymous Argentinian grout cleaning board.
"Jessie the Engineerto fix it upBarking in hereyou's just a pup"Seo-Yeon: WHAT!"I'm a spiritual lyrical individualSpiritual miracle lyrical individualSpiritual miracle individual"Seo-Yeon: YEAH!"MAH NAME'S D BUGIMMA SICK THUGGOT THE SWAG ON FO' MY MAN, THE DICKCAUSE THE OPERATION WE GOT GOIN' ON IS SICK"Seo-Yeon: WHAT?"The creator, the maker,the Arthro-Tech flowstackerI need to groovewith more arms on my backpacker"Seo-Yeon: No, I mean, literally, what? What did you mean by that "operation" part?"That's rightThese gains are natural,Your form’s artificial,I’m cruising with Dick Man,You ride solo, digital!"Seo-Yeon: Ehm, ye-YEAH! WHAT! YEAH!"I'mma spiritual miracle lyrical Individuallyrical spiritual miracle Individuallyricalmiraclemiraclespiritual" (this part Jessie just mumble raps)
>>5346028Awww shit, here we go again.
>>5346028Holo Tupac: "Processing the rhymes. Analyzing the flow. *BZZT BZZT*.Your access level has been upgraded to a...Spiritual Lyrical Individual This level is high enough to access this container. Congratulations! Playa."Lily: "You know, actually, the 2012 Tupac Hologram wasn't a real hologram. It was just a two-dimensional projection that employed a theatrical technique, called “Pepper’s Ghost"! It's a projection of an image onto an angled piece of glass, which is reflected back onto the stage, providing the audience with the illusion of a ghostly presence.So like. This whole premise makes no sense, really."............
>>5346061THE KARAOKE MACHINE EXPLODES!!!Lily: "EUGH!"A mysterious canister flies from inside of the machine!
>>5346061Real nerd girl confirmed. Umackshully'd us to death...>>5346065Well, maybe not death. Snatch up that anister and GTFO!
>>5346075What? No.Jessie has to get laid first.
>>5346075>>5346065You drop the mic and grab the canister!Sam: "Oh! I know what that is!It's the Instant Power Armor Canister! Inside it there is a colony of nanomachines programmed to build power armor parts!All you have to do is splash the goop on a part of your body, and the nanobots will create a power armor piece that is perfect for your body's specs and needs.Although, unfortunately, it's one time use. After building a single part, the nanomachines go into maintenance mode, and can only fix the part they already built....or, I guess you can also sell the canister for like, 2d6 millions of dollars, or something."PERFECT! We got our prize, Beetle Borgs. Now all we have to do is leave! But how do we slip away with this thing?Oh jeez, this is stressful. You are getting stressed. You can feel your anxiety and fear slowly returning. This whole thing happened in some sort of cool guy fugue state, and the fugue state is coming to an end. QUICK, HELP JESSICA PULL OUT! OUT OF THIS SITUATION, I MEAN
Rolled 4 (1d69)>>5346088>"Well ladies, this has been fun, but I just remembered that I'm actually a super rogue and that I've finally stolen my prize: Your hearts~" >Then flash them our winning smile and cooly run out of the room.
>>5346088Leave the girls your contact deets (encrypted super-ultra deep net contact deets, of course) and GTFO before you spill your spaghetti!
Rolled 58 (1d69)>>5346088>>5346111Support!
Rolled 56 (1d69)>>5346088Activate the nanomachines.Steal their hearts.Maybe ask if they wanna hook up later or switch sides.No worries J-man you're on a roll. Hold onto your feeling of natural swagger and it will carry you to true. (Also D-Man is probably gonna celebrate your cool guy moment at Wennie Hut Jr.'s later today. You love their Sunday Specials)
>>5346272>Wennie Hur Jr.'sIs that legally-distinct from the Bikini Bottom-based franchise?
>>5346088Take their numbers. Leave the canister.
>>5346088>Sam>Guy's name>Same Eyegoggles>Same bangs>Same need to cover eyes>Same ripped bodyOh my God. Is she our sister?Leave by putting back on our stuff in opposite order we took them off, while giving the girls our number at the same time, and say we'll take this and the broken machine back to engineering for reverse engineering.
>>5346517Supporting this.Also lol at cool guy fugue state.
>>5346517>sisterThis is a comic universe. She's Jessica from a Rule 63 alternate universe, obviously!
You leave you contact information to the Tech Girls (encrypted super-ultra deep net contact deets, of course), grab your staff and quickly retreat from the scene before the last drops of cool guy juice leave your body!Jessica: "Well ladies, this has been fun, but I just remembered that I'm actually a super rogue and that I've finally stolen my prize: Your hearts~"Lily: "What was that?"Jessica: " EHM, N-NOTHING!...B-BYE!"And then you awkwardly run out of the room.
>>5348459MISSION COMPLETE!Jessica has secured the Instant Power Armor Canister, and maybe has three girlfriends now?? Does it work that way??? Only time can tell...Speaking of time, looks like we just about run out of it, folks!See ya all in the next thread, probably on Sunday! Join in to help the Dick Crew steal the thing they actually came here to steal! And maybe punch a super hero in a face! Wow!~
>>5348465Thanks for the thread OP-- hope you take care of yourself and feel a little better!
>>5348465Thanks for running! Hilarious stuff QM, especially Seo-Yeon going "WHAT? No, I mean, literally, what? What did you mean by that "operation" part?"
>>5348565>>5348471thank you all so much for playing along! your feedback and hilarious responses cheer me up immensely every time. the rap lyrics were all particularly funny :3
>>5348465Thanks for running
>>5348465Thanks so much for running, OP! I adore your drawings and sense of humor and hope life sorts itself out for you soon!