You’re STANLEY PARBLE: a girl with a weird name and an even weirder tale: after a CENTURIES-OLD LICH woke up during your graveyard shift at the GOOD BOY DOGGIE BONE factory, your simple life of janitorial work became a bit more… Complicated.Sure, you became pals with your now-sentient skeleton (you named him LY) AND gained some nifty SUPER POWERS from eating MAGICAL BONE MARROW, but that doesn’t change the fact that your hometown of CLEARWATER, CALIFORNIA is overrun by HOMICIDAL SKELETONS! Even worse, the guy in charge is dead-set on taking over the rest of the world while he’s at it! Not cool!After several days of fighting for your life and shamelessly looting your hometown with some jerks you just met, the finish line is in sight! Only problem is that it's underwater. Deep. Having split your gang of misfits into several groups: one headed to the MUSEUM, the other to the UNIVERSITY, you once again found yourself by the seashore trying to find a way to reach the lost city of ATLANTIS-- the current haunt of the final LIEUTENANT on your hit list: THE SEA WITCH. According to your pals, mashing her into powder will give you the last bit of strength needed to go toe-to-boney toe with TIM... and maybe even fix this whole mess in the process! Your search, as per usual, was anything but uneventful. Stumbling into a den of misplaced SKELETON PIRATES and the brother of one of your first bone-rattling opponents, you took advantage of the unexpected meeting and commandeered his yacht--he ain't gonna be needing it where you sent him! Getting the boat was only the start of a rough voyage, however. Though the seas were rife with BLOODTHIRSTY MERMAIDS, SEA DEMONS, ANCIENT ATLANTEAN DEFENSES, AND A SUBMARINE JAM-PACKED WITH COMMIE SKELETONS, you and your team pulled through thanks to quick-thinking, grit, and a whole lotta' elbow grease! With the path to ATLANTIS, revealed by a few surprisingly-advanced Atlantean artifacts to be some kind of LAB, now as open as it's ever gonna be, you and the rest of your team prepare for what could potentially be your most dangerous operation yet... Huddled together on a boat full of holes and slathered in mermaid guts, THIS is where your story continues... https://youtu.be/_wiwdlu-Zg0 >CONTD.
>>5300670Welcome to BONES QUEST--remember: don’t feed the janitor after midnight! OP Image made by an anonymous pal of mine! Make sure to check out the following resources:Archive Link to catch up with the story!>https://lws.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Bones%20QuestTwitter account for updates!>https://twitter.com/DemBonez3Imgur Page for quest and FAN ART! You make it, we display it! Who knows? It might even become OP IMAGE ART!>https://imgur.com/a/dvF3SCNA HANDY PASTEBIN for INVENTORY, SKILLS, and MORE:>https://pastebin.com/u/DemBonez3/1/TvtRhtJKRolls are handled by a 1d100--I take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS! Certain boosts and maluses will be applied based on the situation and existing skills. Describing your actions, write-ins, FANART and GENERAL CREATIVITY are all APPRECIATED AND REWARDED--we like to keep things LIGHT and CHILL here, so come on in and have some fun!>CONTD.
>>5300672"Listen up people, cuz' I'm only gonna go over this once!" Ugh. Shielding your eyes from the red-tinged sun rays bearing into you, you barely mask your displeasure as Art points the tip of an abandoned STORM STAFF at his hastily-sketched route map on the yacht deck. "There are TEN of us..." He begins, pausing to really let the drama settle in, "... and only FOUR of these!" Pointing to the stack of SEA CLOAKS neatly folded next to him, the Rent-A-Cop sweeps the circle with a determined gaze. "In the past we've gotten by largely on luck and strength. Speaking as a near-casualty AND as your newly-elected VICE OFFICER, I- Oh my god, he's still talking about the whole 'dying' thing?! "SHH!" Hanging on every one of Art's words, SYBIL sits next to you with an enchanted look on her pale face like a doting parent watching a school play. Rolling your eyes at her admonishment, your eyes dance around the huddle for something... anything more stimulating! "... I think it's high time we thought things through." Art concludes as he sends a dirty look your way. To their credit, TUCKER, KIKI, and EDDIE are all listening attentively--the latter dutifully jotting things down in his notebook. Sensing your gaze, Kiki and Tucker smile at you as the former loads a fresh cartridge belt into her STILL-SMOKING LIGHT MACHINE GUN. Guess she got a little carried away earlier. "We've got one more LIEUTENANT left, folks, so it's critical that we plan our next move accordingly." Art continues as you shift your attention to Gus and Mitzi. Watching attentively with crossed arms and his trademark blank stare, the delivery man raises an eyebrow your way as if expecting you to speak up. You pass. Mitz, on the other hand, has her face buried in her issue of WATER POLO MONTHLY--the one you're almost certain she'll be reading long after this whole situation ends. Pausing every few seconds to send a nod Art’s way, you honestly can’t tell if she’s paying attention or not. DAMN, SHE’S GOOD!>CONTD.
>>5300674“Stanley and Sybil have identified a few routes that we can take.” Art continues in a louder, more annoyed voice. “As you can see here, each one has its pros and cons!”Peering down at your side, you share a weary glance with your ‘pet’, boat pilot, and on-and-off hellspawn LIL’ STANLEY. Still somewhat rattled from the MERMAID BATTLE, the raccoon feverishly stuffs her fuzzy face with the contents of a BAG OF GRAVY-FLAVORED CHIPS– lord knows where the hell she scrounged that up! Judging by the low snarl creeping from her tiny body and her bared fangs, however, you get the feeling she isn’t in a sharing mood. Shocking, right?It isn’t all bad, though–the critter’s presence created a natural buffer between you and DENISE, the team’s resident ball of nerves. Scooting even further away at the sound of the raccoon’s growling, the egghead glances between your pet and the presentation in a desperate attempt to stay in the loop without being mauled. You have no clue where all that sweat of hers goes, but you know one thing for certain: that labcoat of hers must be absorbent as HELL!“So when the hell are we gonna choose one, huh?” And who could forget TALBOT? Seriously, who? Dude’s got, like, zero filter. Tapping his foot impatiently, your fellow EVENING SANITATION COORDINATOR looks to you for backup as Art responds with an exaggerated sigh. “Because in case you guys forgot, we plugged the holes in the boat with ICE!”“And we’re going to handle it, okay?” Art groans as he looks to Syb for support. “Just… just let me finish, guys… come on…”“T’s right, though.” Eddie interjects as he puts his notebook down. “This thing isn’t gonna float for much longer, so-”“Th-th-the S-SEA DEMON w-won’t b-be gone f-for long, e-either…” Denise stammers, recoiling as Lil’ Stanley lunges in her direction to snatch up a fallen chip. “S-s-sorry f-for the interrupt-”“As I understand it,” Tucker intervenes in a helpful tone, “We can try to TELEPORT THERE DIRECTLY, TRY TO FIND AN ENTRANCE ON FOOT, OR SEE WHERE THAT HATCH IN ONE OF THE DEFENSE CANNONS TAKES US, right?”“Yea…” Art replies, clearly irked by the summary of his presentation. “But teleportation runs the risk of, well, hiccups.”Shit, you mutter, you can’t cure those! This is serious!“Keep it down, will ya?” Hisses Ly’s disembodied voice, “I’m tryin’ ta’ listen!”>CONTD.
>>5300678“A 40% chance, to be precise.” Sybil adds with a stern expression. “The odds of warping directly to the ATLANTIS LAB are, if the virtual intelligence is correct, roughly 60%.”The whole circle grimaces save for Talbot–the tracksuited terror still visibly crunching the numbers in his head.“Not the best odds, but better than they were before.” The Goth concludes before nodding for Art to continue.Yea, you snort, if you call that better!Raising your hand for a high-five, you quickly reconsider when Syb sends a glare your way that could freeze lava. Pity, too–looks like Mitz, Eddie, and Talbot were ready to slap some palm!“CHRIST, you guys, I’m getting to the point, okay?!” Taking a steadying breath, Art jabs the staff at the diagram one more time. “If we do teleport, though, we don’t have to dash through those PERIMETER DEFENSES.”“You mean the cannons that do nasty stuff to your matter, right?” Mitzi asks as she peers over the top of her magazine. “The ones that chased off a DEMON the size of a sporting goods store? Those ones?”“Yes…” Art mutters, clearly regretting his election already, “Those ones.”“Cool.” Mitzi remarks before returning to her magazine, “So what’s the last option again?”“Before Stanley’s… encounter... with the SEA DEMON,” Sybil begins, prompting the whole circle to send concerned looks your way, “We found a hatch that, if our guess is right, could lead us directly into the LAB.”“Secret passage, huh?” Gus remarks with nary a hint of excitement in his tone, “Sounds neato.”You’ve never heard him say THAT before! The significance isn’t lost on the rest of the gang, either. “It does,” Eddie replies as he considers it himself, “I mean… if we can sneak in through there then we can get the jump on that SEA WITCH we’re gunnin’ for, right?”“We could…” Sybil remarks as doubt forms on her pale face, “But I’ll admit I have some concerns about squeezing through an ancient maintenance tunnel-”“Why? You’re not fat.” Talbot remarks, earning dirty looks from the rest of the circle. You must be glaring too, because he only speaks up once he turns your way. “What? It’s true, right?”“Thank you, Talbot.” Sybil continues in a diplomatic tone. “Weight aside, those cannons are powered by MAGIC. If we emerge into some sort of REFINERY, especially one in disarray,”“Th-then w-we could b-be e-exposing ours-selves to all s-sorts of f-foreign contaminants…” Denise shivers. “N-nasty...”“You can say that again.” Tucker frowns. “This decision just got a little trickier, huh?”>CONTD.
>>5300683“So that’s the situation.” Art shrugs, clearly giving up on the rest of the presentation. “We’re on borrowed time, a ship barely holding together from that attack, and on a tight leash–if we bring this thing any closer to those cannons…” He ends his sentence with a pantomimed ‘boom’.“So,” Mitzi replies as she puts her reading material down, “What are we gonna do?”“First thing’s first:” Talbot interjects, “We’ve gotta decide WHO’S going! And before anyone says anything, I call DIBS!”The gang recoils in shock! Oh shit, you hiss, he CALLED IT!“And don’t even THINK of not honoring it!” Says the janitor with a cocky smirk! “That’d be a DICK MOVE!”He’s not wrong… still, if anyone’s gonna make the call here, it’s you! Ignoring Art’s pleading look, you rise to your feet and clear your throat–if they won’t decide, you snarl, looking around the circle with disdain, then you will! https://youtu.be/KgvFmhP7GMsQ1: CHOOSE UP TO 4 PEOPLE TO GO WITH YOU! LIL’ STANLEY WILL BE FINE IN YOUR POCKET!>MITZI (STEALTHY, SMG, SCIENCE GUN, STUN BATON)>ART (GRENADE LAUNCHER, RIFLE)>SYBIL (MAGIC, SHOCK STAFF)>EDDIE (SPEEDY, REVOLVER AND SHOTGUN)>KIKI (SMALL, LIGHT MACHINE GUN, FLAMETHROWER)>TALBOT (DURABLE GOODBOYNIUM SKIN, METALLIC TENTACLES, REVOLVER)>GUS (TOUGH, STRONG, SHOTGUN)>DENISE (SMART, CANNON FODDER, ANNOYS PEOPLE INTO SUICIDE, MAYBE)>TUCKER (FIRST AID, MARTIAL ARTS, RIFLE, REVOLVER)WHICH ROUTE WILL YOU TAKE?>TELEPORT! RISKY, BUT POTENTIALLY REWARDING!>WALK AND FIND AN ENTRANCE OUTSIDE! THE LAB WON’T EXPECT IT, BUT THOSE CANNONS WILL BE GUNNING FOR YOU!>TAKE THE HATCH! SNEAKY, BUT UNKNOWN!>WRITE-IN!
Whoops, and by 'CHOOSE 4 PEOPLE TO GO WITH YOU' I totally meant 'STAN AND THREE OTHER IDIOTS.' Can you tell I'm already getting rusty? In other words:>1) Stanley (With Ly and Lil' Stanley, of course)>2) Mook #1>3) Mook #2>4) Mook #3
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>5300692>>1) Stanley (With Ly and Lil' Stanley, of course)>>2) ART>>3) TALBOT>>4) SYBIL/MITZI>1=SYBIL>2=MITZI>TELEPORT! RISKY, BUT POTENTIALLY REWARDING!
>>5300685>Sybil>Talbot>ArtGrenades are apparently pretty effective underwater>TAKE THE HATCH! SNEAKY, BUT UNKNOWN!
>>5300670I enter the scene!
>>5300784This one. We’re a janitor. Crawling through maintenance vents is our and Talbot’s forte.
THE TEAM:>SYBIL!>TALBOT!>ART!>>5300821>FEATURING ANON #jwmbyvWP!THE ENTRY:>>5300697>TELEPORT>>5300784>>5300836>'HATCHING' A PLAN!Writing!
>>5300784Channel the janitor.
>>5300867>JANITOR STATUS: CHANNELED!The answer, you begin, is obvious! Like Art was sayin-“VICE OFFICER…”You’re just about to chuck LIL’ STANLEY at Art for his traitorous interruption when you’re stopped by the pleading look on his stupid, sweaty face. Like watching a two-legged puppy try to win a race, Art’s silent request hits you with a sudden bout of pity–one that causes you to reword your sentence!Like your… jeez… ‘VICE OFFICER… was saying, you continue, trying and failing to avoid looking at the dopey grin forming on Art’s face as you say it, you aren’t gonna half-ass this one! You’re WHOLE-ASSING it!Scooping up your ‘pet’ raccoon and snagging a handful of chips in the process, your loyal subje-err, comrades wait patiently for you to continue. Sho, you mumble, struggling to annunciate through chewing and getting gnawed by LIL’ STANLEY, thatsh why you’re gonna need some heavy-hitters on the boat and in the lab below!“Just remember, Stan: I called dib-”Yea, yea, you growl, of course you’re picking TALBOT! What kind of FREAK would you be if you didn’t honor dibs?“BOOYAH!” Talbot roars as he pumps both fists in earnest! “That SEA WITCH won’t know, uh… WITCH hit her!”“Stanley’s Pet.” Whispers someone from the circle. WHO SAID THAT?! Who the HELL said that?! Though you and Talbot glare daggers at them all, the whole team (including Denise) remains quiet as the grave. Fine, you spit, but don’t think you’re gonna forget this, punks! You picked him because he’s tough, dang it! A-and he called ‘dibs!’“Who else is going, Stanley?” Sybil asks, drumming her pale fingers on her crossed arms. You were getting to that, actually–shaking off the insubordination, you jab a finger at The Goth’s face–there’s bound to be plenty more MAGICAL DOODADS down there and you’re gonna need someone who knows a thing or two about them!Not to mention she might geek out again and take down anything that messes with her. Who knows?“Err, thanks.” Sybil mutters, not sure how to react. “I’ll try to keep my… geeking... to a minimum.”Super. That leaves lucky number five or whatever number you’re on! Jabbing your finger towards Art, you give him a reassuring nod as his blue eyes widen at your gesture. That’s right, hotshot.“R-really?” He sputters, glancing between Eddie and Mitzi in disbelief! “W-well alright, Stan–I won’t let you down!”“Does this mean we have to elect a ‘VICE-VICE OFFICER’ now?” Mitzi groans as she returns to her magazine. “Because I gotta say, the raccoon was doing a decent job of it for a whi-”No, you snap, FATTY here is coming with you! >CONTD.
>>5300942Hugging the snarling woodland critter close to your chest like a homicidal teddy bear, you end your speech with unceremonious shrug. So uh, you mutter, yea. That’s the team. Thanks for playing.“I’ll be an officer.” Gus grunts as he raises his mammoth hand in the air. FINE, you groan, now can you move on, please?“W-we didn’t really vote for him, thou-”The rest of the group cuts her off with a synchronized ‘Shut up, nerd!’Besides, you add as you watch disappointment ferment in the rest of the gang’s eyes, the guys you didn’t choose have an even more important job while you’re gone!“What’s that, Stan?” Eddie asks in a forced, but still cheery tone!Why, tracking down some booze and whipping up some COCKTAILS WITH CUTE LITTLE UMBRELLAS in ‘em, you reply in an equally-chipper voice!“Wait, really?” Talbot asks, disappointment slowly creeping into his voice. “Because if that’s what they’re doing, I ca-”No, MORON, you snarl, they’ll be REPAIRING AND GUARDING THE DAMN SHIP! But, like, if they do find some booze… and they DO find some umbrellas…“WE GOT COMPANY!”Whirling around at your skeleton’s panicked voice, you follow Ly’s ASTRAL FORM to the edge of the yacht to find…“Uh… what’s that?”Eager to answer his own question, Tucker makes his way over to the side of the boat with Gus, Mitz, and Kiki in tow. Peering over the rail too, you find yourself staring at a peculiar sight–a BOBBING CORPSE!“Woah…” Eddie whispers as Kiki immediately begins poking it with her gun, “Where’d he come from?”“Dunno,” Art frowns as he examines it closer, “Looks like one of those VOLUNTEER SCOUTS they kept mentioning at THE LODGE, doesn’t he?”He ain’t wrong. Clad in a mismatch of tactical gear and loungewear, the corpse is nigh unrecognizable thanks to the TACTICAL BALACLAVA AND KAISER HELMET covering John Doe’s head. All that remains, you notice, are a few faded letters stenciled on the back of his SCORPION JACKET: jwm-“Whoever he is, he’s done for.” Sybil shrugs, prompting the gang to shove the corpse back out to sea. “Anyways, where were we?”Weeeeell….>CONTD.
>>5300944You’ve got the team, you reply, so now you just need a way in. And based on Ar-err, your VICE OFFICER’S intel, you say, earning approving grins from both Art and Syb, the answer is obvious!Dramatically pointing at the water below, you raise a roguish eyebrow in the direction of your minions! You’re going down, baby!“Err…” Eddie mumbles, “W-where, exactly?”Oh, right. The HATCH, you add, you’re going down the hatch.“Well we’ve already established I meet the size requirements,” Sybil quips as she glances towards Talbot, “But do you think you’ll be able to squeeze through, Talbot?”“No sweat!” He smiles as he confidently jabs his thumb into his chest! “I’ve spent more shifts than I can count squirmin’ through vents! It’s a janitor thing!”He’s right, you nod with a knowing grin! It’s basically half the job!“How uh… how high can you count, though?” Art asks, prompting your ex-bodyguard to process the question for a few seconds before a fresh scowl forms on his face. “Five.” He grunts, balling the five fingers on his large right hand into a fist, “I can count to five, smartass.” “Gotcha.” Mutters Art as he looks to Syb for aid.“That’s that settled then, huh?” Mitzi remarks as she stows her magazine away one more time. “Not sure if you’ll get a RADIO SIGNAL down there, but we’ll keep ya’ posted.”“Yea,” Eddie nods, “just watch out for those MATTER DISPERSAL CANNONS on the way, yea?”“Y-yes…” Denise begins with a nervous giggle, “B-b-because n-no matter what p-people say, y-y-’you m-matter’... h-heh-heh… g-get it? B-because m-matter’s-”Alright, you’d better make some choices and fast or you’re gonna chuck this nerd overboard. You MEAN it!>HEAD OUT NOW! NO TIME TO LOSE!>TALK TO SOMEONE BEFORE HEADING OUT! (WHO?)>HELP REPAIR THE BOAT A BIT BEFORE LEAVING!>WRITE-IN!
That's it for tonight, folks--had a big day today and it's catching up. Should have more SATURDAY AROUND 11-12PM PST, though! Thanks for playing and hope to see you then!
>>5300946>>HEAD OUT NOW! NO TIME TO LOSE!
>>5300946>HEAD OUT NOW! NO TIME TO LOSE!
>>5300946>WRITE-IN!Hey, Bones? How long will Syb’s fish spell last? I was thinking we could fishify one of the other dorks and have them act as the forward recon since they’ll undoubtedly be faster as a fish than we would be as humans walking or swimming.
>>5301062Lasts for an hour at maximum so probably not enough to do much.
>>5301094Fair.
Just popping by to say nice OP image
>>5300967>>5300994>HEAD OUT NOW!>>5301062>BE EF'FISH'ENT!Yea, >>5301094 got it right--Syb can certainly fishify someone, but it's only for about an hour. Still, the option's there!>>5301355Thanks! My friend's pretty damn good at what they do, that's for sure! Always love receiving quest art.Anywho, looks like we're finally heading out! Writing! Sorry for the early update--couldn't sleep a wink last night and woke up earlier than usual.
Having had your appetite for any further conversation soundly CRUSHED by Denise’s dumb nerd joke, you instead dash for the yacht’s guardrail and deftly leap onto it like a cat! Okay, everyone, you say with a daring grin, let’s go hunt a wi-wuh…WOAAAAAH!Cool as the lead up was, your rallying cry is soundly trumped by you slipping off the railing! Guess it was a bit wet, huh? As you watch LIL’ STANLEY leap out of your flailing grasp and back onto the deck, you barely have time to flip her the bird as you tumble with a splash into the chum-filled water below!“Uh, we should also probably move the boat a little first.” Art suggests as you spit out an unidentifiable hunk of meat from your mouth. “That way we won’t have to walk as far.”S-s-sounds g-good, you shiver as your lingering aches and pains are overpowered by the frigid water around you!A few embarrassing minutes sailing later, you find yourself sliding down the yacht’s anchor chain like a firefighter as Sybil leads the charge ahead of you! “You guys still reading us?”Lil’ Stanley scuttles over to your other shoulder as you retrieve your RADIO from your pocket! Yep, you nod to Tucker’s disembodied voice, loud and clear!“Fantastic,” He replies over what sounds like boat repairs happening in the background, “We’ll try to keep the line clear so that you guys can be sneaky, but let us know if you get those CANNONS shut down or something, okay?”“Just take it easy, man!” Talbot croons from above you on the chain, “WE can handle this!”“Just don’t get too cocky, alright?” Art requests as he struggles to grasp both the chain and the MAGIC STAFF he pilfered from the MUSEUM. “We’re flyin’ blind here.”As the water around you darkens with depth, you can just barely pick out the anchor’s landing zone below. Pulling your SEA CLOAK tighter around you, you keep your eyes peeled for any other surprises lingering in the deep!ROLL ME 1d100+10 (+5 FOR MAGIC BUNNY SUIT, +5 FOR SEA LEGS) FOR NO REASON IN PARTICULAR! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 78 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5301523
Rolled 56 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5301523
Rolled 14 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5301523
>>5301526>>5301549>>5301559>HIGHEST ROLL: 83!Writing! Sorry--bunch of crap came up today and it kept me busy. Should be good for a few more updates, though!
The rest of the murky ride down to the ocean floor is, compared to the last few days at least, relatively uneventful. You get a good staredown from a trio of young sharks, no doubt thanks to all the tasty guts you littered throughout the water, but they know better than to mess with you!Shame the rest of your enemies can’t get the picture!“Bottom floor: housewares, lighting, and ancient laboratories.” Sybil announces with a giggle as her boots hit the muck! Disembarking next to the anchor, you and your pals regroup and reload before continuing forth.“So,” Talbot grunts as Lil’ Stanley takes the opportunity to leap onto his broad shoulders, “Guns don’t work down here, yea?”“I’m afraid not,” Sybil shrugs as you and the others retrace your steps towards the cannon, “but their weapons do, so please try to stay alert.”“Hah!” Snorts your fellow janitor as he keeps pace with you, “Alert’s my middle na-OOF!”Stumbling over a particularly-long strand of coral, Talbot barely manages to avoid falling onto his face as Lil’ Stanley reconsiders her perch choices. Catching him by the shoulder mid-stumble, you’re quick to retract your hand as both he and Art notice your helpful gesture. W-well then, you add, words nearly stumbling themselves, how do we know we’re headed in the right direction, anyways? It’s DARK down here!“Call me ole’-fashioned,” Interjects Ly’s disembodied voice, “But I’m bettin’ dat will lead us right to it.” Letting him point your head in the right direction, your eyes land on a long, winding divot in the muck–one that almost looks like someone drove a plow all the way back to the RUINS! Stooping lower for a better look, you raise an eyebrow in confusion. What kind of weird hiking trail is this anyways?“A hasty one.” Sybil replies in a matter-of-fact tone. “Perhaps when this is over I’ll come back and line it with stones…or some mosaic tiles… hm…”“Don’t forget a water bowl for dogs.” Talbot adds in a surprisingly-helpful tone. “They get thirsty too, ya’ kno-oh wait… this is where you dragged Stan back, yea?”OH! That’s uh… you were just about to say that, you stammer! Yep! Golly, musta’ been far!“Well TELEKINESIS did most of the heavy lifting for me…” Sybil shrugs. “But it’s water under the bridge now–this path should lead us right to where we were before!”“Yea,” Art shudders as he scans the dimly-lit water around you, “and those cannons. How’d you avoid those, huh?”“Luck, mostly.” Replies Sybil with a shrug. “So again: please stay alert.”“Alert’s my-”We KNOW, dor-OOF!“Watch yer’ step, cupcake.”Yea, THANKS.>CONTD.
>>5301945It isn’t long before you start sensing something… off... about the water around you. Not off like the engine room of that SUB you blew up, mind, but definitely off. Static electricity dances along the surface of your jumpsuit and hat and a faint taste of ozone and cotton candy tells you that you’re getting closer to the cannon’s killzone.Your suspicions are confirmed shortly after when you skirt around a perfectly circular divot in the seafloor–its edges lined with an impossibly-thin layer of glass still glowing orange from a prior strike.And you just had to leave the marshmallows in the van...“Shut up about the marshmallows for a sec and look!”Barely resisting the urge to slap Art upside his dumb ginger head, you take his advice to heart as you spot it–the barrel of a colossal gun atop a hill that looks farther and farther away every second you stare at it.“So…” Talbot grunts as you all drop into cover behind the remains of a shipping container with a vaguely-familiar company logo etched on its side, “That’s the CANNON, huh?”“One of them, yes.” Sybil hisses as she glances between you and your fellow janitor. “Covert operations are more your strong suit, Stanley–lead the way when you’re ready.”Piece of cake, you chuckle as you gently nudge The Goth’s bare shoulder! Surveying your approach, you immediately spot a few good candidates: giant coral growth? Check. Big-ass boulder with a divot you can shimmy under? Check. Mountain of plastic weighed down by two cars, a viking longboat, and a tank? Checkaroo!As your route slowly forms in your head like a puddle under a spilled milk carton, you notice something else out of the corner of your eyes–something BIG!“Holy CRAP!” Art hisses, “Th-they’re WHALES!”‘Whale’ he ain’t wrong–from the murky deep comes the face of a gentle giant you’ve only seen in those conservation commercials–one that rivals the size of the SEA DEMON you went SICKO MODE on earlier with a mouthful of brush-like bristles inside!“Baleen…” Sybil remarks, captivated by the massive beast just like the rest of you. “I’ve never seen one this close before…”Gracefully drifting through the water like a parade float, the creature lets loose a ringing, almost alien call throughout the sea… and is immediately answered by a trio of fellow whales following close behind! As you, Ly, Lil’ Stanley, and the rest of your cohort watch in awe, you barely react when a sparking projectile the size of the lead whale’s head engulfs the beast in a flash of blinding light! >CONTD.
>>5301947Bowled over by the shockwave, you barely manage to scramble to your feet as the gentle giant is rended into nothingness–its upper half melting away into a pile of crystalline green roses, the bottom crumbling into a patch of flickering pink ice! Not fully comprehending what happened to their herdmate, the whales continue their death march as who-or what-ever is manning the CANNON prepares to fire once more! Shaking the rest of your team out of their stupefied catatonia, you drag them all in the direction of the gun’s base–now’s your chance!“I-It j-just… it just poofed...” Art mutters as both Syb and Talbot stare wide-eyed at the carnage–the latter clearly disturbed, the former spellbound with morbid curiosity. Giving them another tug, you and the others make a break for it while the breakin’s good!Vaulting over coral, giant clams, and piles of old tires, you’re the first of the bunch to touch your hand to the side of the CANNON! As you try to steady your heaving breath, however, you reconsider when you feel the exterior of the gun fizzle with heaps of magical energy! Blinking into existence next to you, Sybil stands for a split second before being knocked over by the force of the cannon’s blast! Y’know, you remark as you help her back onto her feet, she might wanna wear some shorts under that sweater of hers if she’s gonna keep falling-“ZIP IT.” Syb growls as Talbot and Art finally catch up, both boys gasping like they just ran a marathon… while being shot at by a cannon.“W-we…” Art wheezes as he rests his hands on his knees, “W-we made it…”“Did…” Talbot pants, barely noticing the catatonic raccoon’s claws dug into his shoulders, “Didn’t even… break a sweat… ha ha…”Sure ya didn’t, you smirk before taking a peek inside the gun’s guts. Sure enough, nestled behind the conduit you, uh, sampled earlier is a small HATCH–one that gives a bit when you tug at what you assume is the handle!“Step back, Stan–won’t take a sec!” You barely have time to duck to the side as a metallic tendril snakes over your shoulder and yanks the hatch clean off its hinges! Letting in drift in the water beside him, the janitor gives you a smug grin.“After you!”Charming. Peering into the cramped crawlspace, you’re happy to find that it’s lined by a dim, purple conduit running all the way through it!“Well then,” Sybil mutters as she smoothes out the bottom of her sweater, “Shall we? I’ll, er, cover our rear.”“Why?” Talbot asks, earning an icy glare from The Goth in response. “... oh. Right.”ROLL ME 1d100+10 TO CRAWL THROUGH (+5 BUNNY SUIT, +5 NATURAL JANITOR HABITAT)! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS! If you’d like to crawl through in a different order, WRITE IT IN, DUDE!
Rolled 51 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5301951
Have plans in a little bit, so I may or may not be able to whip up another update tonight! If not, I'll write some more SUNDAY AROUND 11-12PM PST! Sorry again for the delays today!
Rolled 53 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5301951
Rolled 79 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5301951Stan->Syb->Art->TalbotKeep the squishies in the middle between our tanks.
>>5302183This.
Rolled 26 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5301951>>5302183 +1
>>5301983>>5302025>>5302183>HIGHEST ROLL: 89!>>5302183ORDER RECEIVED!Writing! Today's updates might be a bit sporadic too--apologies in advance!
>>5302574Yea, you reply as you give the passage a good, long stare, you SHALL. Immediately glancing over to Talbot as he samples a bit of seaweed clinging to the cannon’s hull, you snap your fingers a few times to get his attention and point him towards the hatch. That’s right, you mutter as he sends a confused look your way, he’s leading the way!“Heh!” He responds, confusion swiftly melting away into that trademark bravado of his, “No sweat–I’LL protect you guys!”Leading the charge, the tracksuited terror squeezes into the hatch with an excited Lil’ Stanley in tow! Continuing down the line, you snap and point at Art, then Syb, and finally you!“Don’t think we needed a snap, cupcake.”And that’s why you aren’t running this shitshow, Ly. As your pals clamber inside, your ears are immediately WRACKED by a horrible sound!“Christ,” Talbot groans from the head of the train, “Do you need, like, some water or something, man?”“Sorry…” Art mutters between hoarse, heavy breaths, “I uh… I don’t do well in tight spaces.”“Just focus on your breathing, Artie,” Sybil coos from behind him, “It’ll only take a few minutes.”“Take it from me, man,” Talbot scoffs as the four of you follow the conduit deeper, “Vents look scary, but they’re actually pretty comfy once yUH AHH AAAAAH!”A surprisingly shrill shriek bursts from Talbot’s lips as he flops backwards in the vent ahead of you! As Syb illuminates the shaft with magic and Art struggles to maintain his calm breathing, you barely manage to react in time as Lil’ Stanley comes scurrying like a bat outta’ hell over to you! Squeezing past your legs, the woodland critter hisses as you finally see Talbot’s assailant–or rather… assailants!“Goddamn thing’s on my friggin’ FACE!” The janitor howls as he tugs at a star-shaped creature attached to his cheek! Before he can help, Art is also accosted by several more of the beasts as they shuffle menacingly through the vent!“S-STARFISH!” Art yelps as Talbot frantically rolls around trying to detach them, “Lots!”Worse than that, you mutter as you skewer one of the attackers on your BONE CLAWS, they’re…They’re KILLER STARFISH!https://youtu.be/eFAaxkc03T8Charging your team like a swarm of star-shaped bees, the KILLER STARFISH leap with the speed of pumas as they bare their lamprey-like teeth! Freaky!“Damn… sonnova… friggin bastard starfishes…” Thankfully your marching order seems to have paid off–though he clearly isn’t enjoying it, Talbot acts as a remarkably good meatshield! Though several of the little bastards cling to him like burrs, his GOODBOYNIUM REACTIVE ARMOR keeps his flesh safe from their hungry jaws!Doesn’t stop him from screaming, though. What a DIVA!>CONTD.
>>5302611“Tenacious little things, aren’t they?”Nestled safely behind both Talbot and Art, Sybil still manages to skewer a few starfish with a RADIANT BLADE conjured from her hand! Running them through like a rapier, the light-based weapon fries the evil echinoderms on the spot, giving Art and Lil’ Stanley wiggle room to take out a few as well!“Keep moving, damn it!” Art shouts as he takes a page from Syb and stabs a few sea stars with a COMBAT KNIFE, “We’re sitting ducks in here!”You-NRGH!” Talbot spits as he tries to keep up with a few GOODBOYNIUM TENDRILS, “YOU take the lead, then!”Happy to let out some aggression, Lil’ Stanley takes advantage of the chaos and her enhanced SPEED AND STRENGTH to try out some seafood! Darting between the creeping critters and your team’s flailing bodies, the raccoon leaps from one starfish to another and dutifully crushes them between her jaws! Good girl!It’s slow-going, but as you use your BONE CLAWS to thin out the stragglers, you and your team eventually make it further down the tunnel! With Talbot tanking and a system down, it isn’t long before the passage slopes downward–so much so that your SEA CLOAK-induced gravity causes you to slide!“Oh no...” Art mutters as your pals follow suit, “Can we go one day withOUT falling, please!?”His face still plastered with starfish, all Talbot can do is grunt in vain as you and the others tumble towards a rapidly-approaching vent cover… at the bottom of a sheer drop!ROLL ME 1d100+10 TO NOT LAND ON SOMETHING PAINFUL! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS! If you wanna try to cushion someone’s fall in particular, WRITE IT IN!
Rolled 40 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5302614
Rolled 64 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5302614
Rolled 83 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5302614
>>5302622>>5302626>>5302671>HIGHEST ROLL: 93!Not bad at all! Writing!
>>5302718Alright, if this was, like, Thread 3 or something you might be a little worried. Maybe. But having fallen more times than you can count, by the time you're about to crash through the vent cover, you’re already prepared to land on your feet!To your surprise, the aforementioned crashing never occurs–in fact, just when you’re inches away from the cover, the hatch pops open and deposits you into a room straight out of a sci-fi flick! “Friggin’ starfish…” Talbot grumbles as he rises to his feet while rubbing a cluster of suction marks off his face, “Where the hell are we, anywa-”“SHH!” Sybil hisses as she blinks into existence just in time to catch a flailing Art in her outstretched arms! “Look.”Following her finger, you examine your surroundings more closely–roughly the size of a small warehouse, the room is filled to the brim with countless glass domes filled with a familiar PURPLE ENERGY. From a metal connector at the top of each machine snakes a gossamer wire–each one culminating in one of several devices similar to a transformer connected to the ceiling. Glowing with the eerie purple energy you took a taste test of earlier, it doesn’t take you long to come to a conclusion:“It’s a POWER PLANT…”Damn it, Ly! You were gonna say that… basically!“It looks to be a power plant, yes.” Sybil nods as she scans the area for any sign of life. “But what’s powering it?” As you move to get a better look into one of the domes, the telltale sound of heavy footprints clanking against the metal floor causes you and the others to immediately freeze up!“Crap!” Art hisses as he frantically searches for a hiding spot, “We gotta hide!”You were thinking the exact same thing! As your mind sputters to life with ideas, a series of beeps followed by a heavily-synthesized voice heralds the approach of whatever’s sharing the room with you!“UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS DETECTED. DO NOT BE ALARMED. REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE.”“Like HELL!” Talbot hisses before you clap your hand over his big mouth! Is he TRYING to get caught?! It hasn’t seen us yet!“Let’s keep it that way, then!” Art whispers as he slips between two power generators. “Get to cover!”With everyone else finding hiding spots, it’s time for YOU to plan too!>HIDE ON ONE OF THOSE CEILING POWER THINGIES! YOU’LL GET A GOOD VIEW!>SLIP BETWEEN POWER GENERATORS! >SCREW WAITING AROUND–SEARCH FOR A DOOR!>SET ONE OF THOSE GOO BOMBS YOU FOUND IN THE SENTRY’S PATH!>TRY TO GET AROUND BEHIND WHATEVER’S COMING!>WAIT PATIENTLY–WHAT IF THIS THING’S TELLING THE TRUTH?>WRITE-IN!
>>5302750>HIDE ON ONE OF THOSE CEILING POWER THINGIES! YOU’LL GET A GOOD VIEW!If it’s friendly, as I wager it may be given machines generally aren’t capable of deception, then there’s no reason not to hide and get a good look at it. If it isn’t, we should be hiding anyway.
>>5302750>>HIDE ON ONE OF THOSE CEILING POWER THINGIES! YOU’LL GET A GOOD VIEW!
>>5302750>HIDE ON ONE OF THOSE CEILING POWER THINGIES! YOU’LL GET A GOOD VIEW!
>>5302752>>5302753>>5302809>HIDE ON THE CEILING!Guess we'll see how friendly this thing is soon enough, huh? ROLL ME 1d100+15 (EMU LEGS, FENCER'S FEMURS, AND BUNNY SUIT) TO STAY OUTTA SIGHT! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!Got plans in a little bit so updates might be on hold until MONDAY 3-4PM PST since I've got crap to do in the AM. We'll see what happens, though!
Rolled 74 + 15 (1d100 + 15)>>5302850
Rolled 5 + 15 (1d100 + 15)>>5302850
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>5302850
>>5302873>>5302988>>5303093>HIGHEST ROLL: 89!Nothin' to it! Writing!
A condescending grin forms on your face as you watch your teammates scuttle for cover like cockroaches in your apartment’s kitchen. It’s cute... very cute… especially how Syb and Art ‘accidentally’ end up in the same nook together, but as far as you’re concerned this shit is child’s play!While Talbot struggles to stuff himself under one of the generators with a very concerned Lil’ Stanley in tow, you leap like a grasshopper up to one of the nearby CEILING POWER THINGIES and cling to it like a raccoon on a tree limb!Precarious though it may be, your hiding spot pays off–you scarcely have time to wrap your legs around a few alien tubes before the source of the stomping makes itself known! Lumbering around the corner with a heavy gait comes a collection of impeccably smooth metal shapes plodding along in a humanoid form! Kept separate by night-imperceptible clouds of what can only be MAGICAL ENERGY, the sentry resembles KELLY, that VIRTUAL INTELLIGENCE you chatted with earlier, albeit more realistic and worn down by what must be years of activity!“UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS DETECTED. DO NOT BE ALARMED. REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE.”“Not one fer’ words, is he?” Ly remarks as the metal minion systematically searches the whole row of generators! Dipping what appears to be its head, you watch with childlike interest as a circular divot opens up in the automaton’s head releasing a cone-shaped arc of light! As it proceeds to scan each and every possible hiding spot, your eyes lock with Talbot’s and Lil’ Stanleys as they both shoot you worried glances–the former barely fitting underneath some sort of monitoring console, the latter debating whether to stick with Talbot or risk drowning and swim to a better hiding place!“UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS DETECTED. DO NOT BE ALARMED. REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE.”There he goes again! You’re not sure what’s gonna happen when he spots the others, but it’s probably not good, right? It works for the SEA WITCH!… unless you’re in a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LAB BELONGING TO SOMEONE ELSE! Oh NO! Sending a panicked glance in Syb’s direction, your heart sinks even further into your chest–oh NO! She and Art are FRENCHING! You’ve gotta do something quick–this whole situation is going bananas!>TACKLE AND STEALTH-KILL THIS THING!>DISTRACTION! USE YOUR DOPPELGANGER THING OR AN ITEM AND DRAW IT AWAY!>GET THE AUTOMATON’S ATTENTION! WHAT DOES IT WANT?>TRUST IN YOUR DUMBASS FRIENDS AND STAY STILL–MAYBE IT’LL GO AWAY!>SEE IF LY CAN POSSESS IT!>WRITE-IN!
>>5303585>DISTRACTION! USE YOUR DOPPELGANGER THING OR AN ITEM AND DRAW IT AWAY!Doppelganger should work
>>5303585> TALK TO IT, MAYBE IT WON'T SHOOT AT YOU WHILE YOU'RE ON IT'S GENERATOR. And we can emu way if it does, which should let our friends gtfo.
>>5303585>DISTRACTION! USE YOUR DOPPELGANGER THING OR AN ITEM AND DRAW IT AWAY
>>5303600>>5303605>DECOY DISTRACTION!>>5303604>TALK IT OUT!So it turns out I'm a total fucking mouthbreather and forgot that DISTAL DECOY is a once-per-day thing and you guys already used it to distract some idiots at the DOG HOTEL last thread.That said, since I put the option in, I'm gonna waive that daily thing for once and allow you to use the ability if you wish! If you have another item or distraction idea, however, feel free to write it in! Otherwise...ROLL ME 1d100+5 TO DISTRACT THE DORK BELOW YOU! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 43 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5303649
Rolled 65 (1d100)
>>5303659>>5303670>>5303803>HIGHEST ROLL: 70!Well did! Writing!
Spurred on by an urgency only intense disgust can fuel, you send a cloud of BONE DUST out from within your snaggletooth and onto the floor behind the sentry! Materializing into the spitting (and DANGEROUSLY good looking) image of yourself, you give your doppelganger a simple task:Run.And run it does! Cackling like a maniac, your shadow immediately takes off deeper into the maze of generators prompting the guard to dutifully stomp after it in pursuit!“INITIATING SCAN. DO NOT MOVE. INITIATING SCAN. DO NOT MOVE. INITIATING SCAN. DO NOT MOVE. INITI…”As the guard’s mechanized voice trails off into the distance, you look back to find your comrades relatively unharmed AND not kissing! Double-win!“W-well,” Sybil remarks as she hastily fixes her hair, “You’ve bought us some time, Stanley. Though I’m not sure how long that distraction will hold…”“Long enough for us to get the hell outta’ here!” Talbot counters as he adjusts his FANCY BOWTIE. “Come on!” Charging towards what appears to be a door at the end of one of the rows of generators, the janitor lingers in place for a moment before sheepishly trudging back.“I uh… I’ve got no clue where the hell we are, Stan.”Neither do you, but you ain’t gonna say that! Tapping your chin in thought, you head over to the door Talbot approached and give it a good frown–besides being sealed behind teeth-like bars, the Atlantean door hums with a dull, tooth-tingling energy–one that gives you a mini-migraine just staring at it!“Sealed…” Sybil remarks as she and Art follow you over. “With MAGIC, no doubt.”Scowling at the glowing door, you can’t help but scoff a bit. What gave her that idea?“That, mostly.” Following her pale finger, you find yourself staring at a flickering orb seated in a small recess beside the door. Crackling with alien energy, it changes color as you bring your hand closer to it.“Any idea on how it works?” Art asks as he looks at Syb.“Not entirely, no…” Sybil huffs, “But I can try to find out…”“OR we just cut the power to it.” Talbot shrugs as he points towards one of the several conduits running along the floor and into the generators around you. “Or we could just, y’know, search for another way out.” Ly suggests, earning a shrug from you. But that’s HARD!“Sure is, but we found a way in, didn’t we?” Your bones counter. “There might be a few more subtle ways around…”“Though your choice of distractions might have raised suspicions anyways.” Says Sybil with a frown. “It won’t be long until something finds us…What’s the plan?>HAVE SYB TRY THE DOOR!>FIDDLE WITH THE MECHANISM YOURSELF!>TAKE DOWN SOME GENERATORS TO REMOVE THE SEAL!>SEARCH FOR ANOTHER VENT OR SOMETHING!>TALK TO THAT SENTRY!>JUST BUST THE DOOR MECHANISM OPEN!>WRITE-IN!
>>5303873>FIDDLE WITH THE MECHANISM YOURSELF!What's the worst that could happen?
>>5303873>FIDDLE WITH THE MECHANISM YOURSELF!
>>5303873>SEARCH FOR ANOTHER VENT OR SOMETHING!
Whoops, got drunk and passed out playing Steam demos last night--sorry about that!>>5303922>>5303969>CLASSIC STAN CHICANERY!>>5304137>MORE VENTS! MORE VENTS!Writing!
MAN, you groan as you push past your pals, dramatic, much? Your rubber boots squeak quietly on the marble-like floor as you approach the flickering orb of energy housed next to the gate. Alien or not, you shrug, you’ve been breaking into places since Thread 1–hell, way earlier than that!“Yes, as I recall we’re still banned from that froyo shop…” Sybil says with a disappointed look in her eyes. “But Stanley, this is MAGICAL energy we’re dealing wi-”And from what you’ve seen so far, you counter as you give the orb a closer inspection, MAGIC’S more of an art than a science–so what’s wrong with improvising a bit?“I mean… did you already forget the whale?” Art asks as you cautiously poke a finger at the flickering ball of energy. “Because I didn’t forget the whale.”‘Whale’ he can chill, alright? You’ve got this! Just uh, you mutter, waving the others away with a dismissive gesture, just keep an eye out for that robot thing!Having thoroughly investigated what you’re dealing with, you can confirm that the orb is housed in a small recess next to the gate–its light changing color every few seconds. The gate itself still hurts to stare at, and though you haven’t messed with it yet, you feel an almost static field emanating from its surface. The fact that it’s sealed shut with teeth like protrusions doesn’t make you feel any more confident.“Fine. Don’t go disintegrating yourself, alright?” Art grumbles as he and the others cover your back. Hah! You don’t even know the meaning of the word!“She really doesn’t.”Shut uuuuuup, Ly!Okay, so you actually have no clue whatsoever how to do this. You... you don't got this. But uh... if you were going to open it, what would you do first?>POKE THE ORB!>TALK TO THE ORB! >CHUCK SOMETHING AT THE ORB!>HAVE ONE OF THE OTHERS FIDDLE WITH THE ORB OR GATE! (WHO?)>TAP THE ORB WITH YOUR MAGIC-CHARGED PRISM!>GIVE THE ORB SOME FOOD!>BACKUUM UP THE ORB!>GIVE UP AND LET SYB TRY IT!>TRY TO FIND A VENT!>TRACK DOWN THAT ROBOT THING!>WRITE-IN!
>>5304415>GIVE THE ORB SOME FOOD!
>>5304415>POKE THE ORB!>TALK TO THE ORB! >CHUCK SOMETHING AT THE ORB!>TAP THE ORB WITH YOUR MAGIC-CHARGED PRISM!
>>5304415> USE YOUR TIRE IRON LIKE A CROWBAR AND POP THE ORB OUT
>>5304430>FEED THE OOOOORB>>5304432>JUST DO FUCKING EVERYTHING, I DUNNO>>5304453>POKE THE ORB WITH YOUR TIRE IRON AND POP IT OUTIn the interest of time I'm just gonna take the two sorta 'poking' votes and roll with those using the TIRE IRON!ROLL ME 1d100 FOR REASONS! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5304585
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5304585
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5304585Yoink.
>>5304591>>5304603>>5304633>HIGHEST ROLL: 78!!!WRITING!
Possibilities gnaw at your brain like a pack of CLEARWATER’S INFAMOUS WILD DOGS tearing apart a week-old hunk of brisket. As far as you can tell, magic kinda works arbitrarily–kinda like Lil’ Stanley… or Talbot. Because of that, you have a tricky time figuring out just what to try first!Spurred on by the distant sound of the sentry repeating his instructions to your doppelganger and the impatient groans from your fellow EVENING SANITATION COORDINATOR, your brain spontaneously hatches an idea egg–one that prompts you to retrieve your trusty TELESCOPING GOO MOP from your inventory!“The MOP?” Art hisses in an incredulous tone as Syb quietly facepalms next to him. What? You’re just gonna nudge it out, sheesh!“Like a hornet’s nest, right?” Asks Talbot with an excited snap of his fingers! “Good call, ba-err, Stan!”What a dope, you hiss as you extend the mop at your side, he’s been with you for, like, half the damn quest and can’t even get your damn name right! Lining up the mop handle with the eldritch orb, a tiny, but tenacious mutt grabs ahold of your brainmeat…This… this is silly!“Oh thank GODS.” Sybil sighs, sharing a relieved grin with Art. “Yes, Stanley, given it’s the work of a highly-advanced race, we really should b-”Swiftly replacing your GOO MOP with your TIRE IRON, you line it up with your target as you give your pals a reassuring grin. This way you won’t ruin the mop, you explain with a conspiratorial wink!When no one but Talbot winks back, you shrug and wind up for the pitch! Swinging the iron at the orb like it owes you money (and it will if you aren’t getting overtime by now), you’re taken by surprise as the orb not only reacts to your attack, but actually CLINGS to the edge of the tire iron!Crackling and hissing with arcane energy, the orb sends magic up and down the length of your weapon as the gate you pried it from groans to life in a symphony of alarms and garbled warnings in a foreign language! Creaking in protest, the teeth barring the gate slowly retract into the wall with a menacing hiss! The bars are only retracted for a second or two before you’re met with a muffled shriek from beyond the door–one that sounds somewhere between a raccoon being butchered and an elephant being stuffed into a trombone! “I uh…” Art stammers as the gate nearly buckles under something slamming against it from the other side, “I think we should leave...”As your team watches the chaos unfold in abject terror, you do what any leader would do in a situation like this:Panic!>CONTD.
>>5304727Frozen in place like a lost child at the supermarket (a perspective not wholly unfamiliar to you), you feel the TIRE IRON jerk and wiggle in your loose, trembling hand! Glancing between it and the gate, you nearly drop the auto repair tool as the orb on its end morphs into a hissing serpent formed from blinding white light!Dancing out of the way of its attacks, you nearly fall over as your friends open fire behind you! Twirling to face them, you watch in shock as the sentry from before brushes off Sybil and Art’s magic before leaping past Talbot’s tendrils and Lil’ Stanley’s jaws! Landing with a massive THUD next to you, the automaton rushes to the empty recess where the orb was sitting just as a meaty tentacle lined with hairy barbs and pulsating glowing veins darts through a crack in the gate and grabs for your ankle!“P-P-PEEL APART THE LAYERSSS AND LLLLLLAP UP TH-THE SECRETSSSS!”The slurred, stunted voice from beyond the door has an almost sing-song quality to it… like a child reciting a nursery rhyme. Not keen on finding out what it means, you snatch your MAGICAL SNAKE TIRE IRON off the ground and bring it crashing down onto the speaker’s appendage! Sensing your intent, the snake head bites down on the tentacle and cleanly bisects it into two hissing pieces–one flopping around on the floor like a fish that escaped its tank, the other retreating behind the gate with a baleful howl spewing boiling orange liquid into the water around you!Giving your new weapon a thankful nod, you and your friends prepare for more as the tentacle you felled is replaced by five more! Prying open the gate, the tendrils fire their hairy barbs in the direction of your pretty little face! Oh NO! Anything but your money-maker!>CONTD.
>>5304733As a salvo of razor-sharp hairs whizzes past your head, you notice the severed tentacle from before rising from its resting place on the ground on a fresh pair of arms and legs!“TELLL OR WEEEE TAAAKE," It gurgles, laughing haughtily to itself,"TEEELLLL OR WE TAAAA-”Before Tentacle Jr. can finish, he’s soundly vaporized by a cone of impossibly-bright light from the sentry’s head! As the creature fizzles out of existence like newspaper in a bonfire, a compartment in the golem’s chest pops open revealing another orb–one that fits snugly inside the now-empty recess next to the gate! With its power source restored, the gate’s defenses flicker to life once more and immediately get to work cooking the tentacles trying to get through!“CAN’T HIIIDE FOREVERRR CAN’T HIIIIDE FOREVERRRR!”Laughing as whatever field blankets the gate reduces them to mulch, the tentacles and their owner retreat beyond the gate once more! With a satisfying ‘click’, the toothlike protrusions bar the gate once more as the sentry, now powerless, kneels in front of the fresh orb as a last-ditch attempt to protect it!As you and your pals struggle to register what just happened, your impromptu pow-wow is pushed back when not one, not two, but THREE brand-new golems emerge from secret compartments in the walls! Stomping towards you with menacing lights shining from their rectangular heads, the golems repeat the request your doppelganger must have heard at least a hundred times now:“INITIATING SCAN. DO NOT MOVE.”What… what’s the plan here?>DUH, DO NOT MOVE!>RUN! MAYBE SCREAM A BIT, TOO!>CRY! IT GOT YOU OUT OF A SPEEDING TICKET ONCE!>ATTACK THE GOLEMS WITH YOUR NEW TIRE IRON!>TRY TO COMMUNICATE!>MAKE ONE OF YOUR DUMB FRIENDS DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!>WRITE-IN!
>>5304738>MAKE ONE OF YOUR DUMB FRIENDS DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!Syb, we can’t into magic. wat do?
>>5304738>DUH, DO NOT MOVE!why not, worst case scenario it attacks us I guess
>>5304738>DUH, DO NOT MOVE!As tempting as >CRY! IT GOT YOU OUT OF A SPEEDING TICKET ONCE is...
>>5305057>SYB! DO SOMETHING!>>5305059>>5305081>DON'T MOVE!Writing!
You’re… you’re not, y’know SCARED or anything, but given what just happened over the past minute or so, you don’t find it very hard to comply with the construct’s demands. As its singular glowing eye gradually lights up, you’re taken aback when you hear the faint sound of a struggle emanating from within the golem’s head!“-p aside, Rodhi, I’ll be handeelink thees… ASSUMING MANUAL CONTROL.”Stiffening in place for a brief moment, you hear someone, or something approach on the other end. “Drooling eembecile–chaseenk a seemple illusion like a pet ghaudra… yes, you, you fool–make yourself useful for a change and activate the backup sentries!”You barely have time to exchange a puzzled look with the rest of your pals before a wave of light washes over you… one that feels kinda funny... but also not that bad, y’know?“Now then… let us see what we hef here…” Mutters a bored, feminine voice from within the golem as the cone of light expands to include your hapless comrades as well, “Five… no, SIX lifeforms in total… four humans, two male, two female, one Northern Raccoon… tch… and one… hm… that’s a peculiarity…”You feel Ly shift awkwardly under your skin as the tingly light intensifies on you. Hoo boy…“Hmm…” The voice purrs, “What are you hidink from me, little preemitive…?”You can’t help but fidget a bit under the light… damn it, you mutter, if Art or Talbot are staring-“Ach, twitchy little rats…” Scoffs the voice as the cone of light shifts a bit. “Rodhi. RODHI! Yes, you, you slime! Adjust sentry pacification seestems to feefteen… no, twenty percent… I want these monkeys drooleeng and comatose eef they try to run, not vaporized.”Groaning with irritation more characteristic of a teen being asked to take out the trash rather than a twelve-foot golem with hands bigger than your head, your mysterious observer shines the scanner on you one more time. “Now then… where were we…”Clicking what you assume must be her tongue, the voice behind the golem hums an idle tune to herself as the light intensifies on you… MAN that feels weird!“Stan…” Ly whispers as you bite your lip and clench your fists, “I uh… I ain’t sure a dis’...”You aren’t either, but what can ya’ do?>CONTINUE THE SCAN–GET IT OVER WITH!>TELL WHOEVER’S RUNNING THE SHOW YOU’VE GOT SOME QUESTIONS!>NO THANKS, SISTER! SURPRISE-ATTACK THE GOLEMS!>ONE OF YOUR PALS SPRINGS INTO ACTION! (WHICH ONE(S)?)>WRITE-IN!
>>5305343>TELL WHOEVER’S RUNNING THE SHOW YOU’VE GOT SOME QUESTIONS!Unleash our winning force of personality!
>>5305343>TELL WHOEVER’S RUNNING THE SHOW YOU’VE GOT SOME QUESTIONS!
>>5305343>>TELL WHOEVER’S RUNNING THE SHOW YOU’VE GOT SOME QUESTIONS!
>>5305368>>5305381>>5305387>HOLD ON THERE, PAL!ROLL ME 1d100-5 (+5 BUNNY SUIT, -10 SPEAKER SCIENCE AUTISM) TO GET SOME QUESTIONS IN! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!If you have a specific way of getting the voice's attention or a specific question to lead with, WRITE 'EM IN, DAMN IT!This will also be the last update of the night--got work to do early tomorrow and can't promise an update until around WEDNESDAY 3-4PM PST! Thanks as always for playing along and keep an eye out for earlier updates!
Rolled 92 - 5 (1d100 - 5)>>5305418
Rolled 31 - 5 (1d100 - 5)>>5305418
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>5305418
>>5305422>>5305493>>5305611>HIGHEST ROLL: 87!Writing!
Wait a minute, you think to yourself as the scan proceeds, you know exactly what you can do! You’ve got interrupting people down to an ART!“Age: twenty years… height: five feet and four inches… weight-”Hey.“... naturally green eye pigmentation,” The voice continues, barely registering your words, “but there appears to be a GOODBOYNIUM PROSTHETIC symbiotically-attached to the right eye socke-”HEY.“Ngh.. high levels of magical contamination in integumentary, skeletal, respiratory, lymphatic AND circulatory systems… that’d explain quite a bit, yes-”HEY!“Custodial coveralls and hat… Emergency Life Support Cloak–stolen, presumably–” The voice spits, “careless scouts… and some sort of magically-charged… cabaret outfit? Ech, preemitives and their toys…”“Wait, what was that about a cabare-”SHUT UP, ART! AND YOU! You snarl, jabbing a finger in the golem’s eye, WHAT THE HELL’S HER PROBLEM, ANYWAYS?! DOES SHE EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!?The voice lets loose a drawn-out, irritated sigh. “Of COURSE I know, you eembecile… it’s the only reason I allowed you into thees lab in the first place… Rodhi, status on those pacification seestems?”Oh yea, you retort as you sidestep the scanning laser, then who ARE you, huh, smarty pants?You hear something slam against something hard on the controller’s end.“Stanley Parble: Evenink Sanitation Coordinator at GOOD BOY DOGGIE BONES and a general thorn in MASTER TIBIUS’ side. And mine with these petulant interruptions of yours… ugh.”Alright, you nod, but that was just a lucky guess! Your uh, your reputation perceives you!“You also made meenimal efforts to conceal your arrival.” The voice groans over the sound of tapping fingers on the other end. “Our sensors peeked you and your little friends up long before you stole that dinghy... now seet steel until the scan feenishes or I’ll have the sentry render you and your fellow rodents much more compliant, eef you’re catching my meanink.”You don’t, but that’s never stopped you before!>CONTD.
>>5306187Uh-uh-UH, you snap with a wag of your pointer finger, you’ve got a few questions for her… and you ain’t leaving without answers!“You’ll find it very deeficult to leave regardless,” Scoffs the voice as they resume the scan, “but if it weel pacify you somewhat, then so be it. I deedn’t become HIGH SCHOLAR without being able to multitask… damned preemitives…”HAH! She’s gonna answer your questions, you cheer, glancing back at your friends with a shit-eating grin plastered on your face! That means you WON!“Ech… whatever ees helpink you sleep at night…”Okay, okay, okay–you have an idea of who you’re talking to, but what do you start with? She seems pretty annoyed already! YOU CAN PROBABLY ASK HER UP TO 3 THINGS TOTAL BEFORE SHE GETS IRRITATED! WELL, MORE IRRITATED!>WHO ARE YOU ANYWAYS?>WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT THING BEHIND THE GATE?>WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ‘LET US IN’?>WHERE THE HELL ARE WE, ANYWAYS?>DO YOU KNOW MAGIC, BY CHANCE?>SPILL SOME BEANS ON MASTER TIM OR WHATEVER! YOU WANT DIRT, GIRL!>WHO’S ROADY? WHERE ARE ALL OF THE SKELETONS?>SHE MENTIONED SOME MAGICAL CONTAMINATION–WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH THAT?>ONE OF YOUR PALS HAS A QUESTION! (SYB? ART? TALBOT?)>WRITE-IN!
>>5306193>WHO ARE YOU ANYWAYS?>>WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ‘LET US IN’?
>>5306193>WHO ARE YOU ANYWAYS?>WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ‘LET US IN’?>SHE MENTIONED SOME MAGICAL CONTAMINATION–WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH THAT?
>>5306206>>5306211>WHO ARE YOU!?>WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU 'LET US IN'?!>MAGICAL CONTAMINATION--WHAT'S THE DEAL?Writing!
>>5306211This one.We should see what they know about fairies at some point, since the Atlanteans were supposedly at war with them.
Question Number 1, you hiss as you raise the corresponding finger in the golem’s face, who the hell does she think she is, anyways? “My, my… wherever did my manners go?” Replies in a voice dripping with unamused sarcasm, “As fascinatink as it would be to observe you coming to your own conclusions, your brain scan data just feenished processing… I’ll attempt to speak more slowly.”Ignoring the snickers from behind you, you respond with your trademark frown–is she gonna tell you or not!?“I,” the voice begins in an annoyingly clear voice, “am IZITHA REMORANAH TENATEAH: HIGH SCHOLAR OF ATLANTIS INSTALLATION #446753. Don’t bother repeatink the name–you’ll hurt yourself.”Oh no… she’s RIGHT! As you quickly go through the name a few more times in your head, you feel a sharp pain in between your brain’s few folds! Is… is she a SIDEKICK?!Wait, no… you’re just coming to a realization. False alarm, people. Sending an unsure glance between the golem and your friends, you ask the question burning inside of your head:Is she… the SEA WITCH?!“... yea, wow, a leetle surprised it took you that long to feegure out…” The voice replies in a derisive tone. “There are some that call me that, yes–usually mouth-breathing preemitives that steel cower at lightning and require chokeenk hazard warninks on their toys.”You can’t help it if those blocks look so damn tasty, alright!? “Focus, cupcake.”Yea, yea, you mutter under your breath, you’re gettin’ there! So, you segue, placing your hands on your hips as the scanning laser continues doing its thing, she’s the LIEUTENANT, huh? You thought she’d be a lil’ bigger, but here she is piloting a robot barely bigger than Gus!“Stan, she isn’t inside the golem…” Sybil whispers as she rubs her temples in embarrassment.“Leesten to your stupid friend, stupid.” The voice adds in a haughty tone. “S-stupid?!” Sybil growls, eyes flaring up with anger and shock! “Y-you’re speaking to a fellow practitioner of the ARCANE ARTS, High Scholar! Y-”“Yes, yes, we’re all very impressed, novice.” The voice interrupts dismissively! “Allow me to guess: THREE DAILY SPELLS? FOUR, PERHAPS?”The Goth’s reply dies halfway out of her throat. “Y-yes, w-well-”“Adorable.”>CONTD.
>>5306443“Now then,” continues the witch, “I’m sure you’ve got a very busy schedule lordink your average intellect over your flock of idiots, so steek to your strengths, NOVICE, and don’t interrupt me again, otherwise I’ll show you what an actual scholar can do.”Stuck somewhere between furious and embarrassed, Sybil’s pale face burns red as her eyes flicker with blue light!“And do try to keep your emotions under control–you look so very ugly when you’re upset.”“H-hey,” Art stammers as Syb stands there gobsmacked, “You’d better stop talking about her like that, or-“Silence, weeb.”“... okay.”“As I was sayink,” continues the Sea Witch in a testy voice, “I am not inside of the sentry–merely observink from a secure location. And might I say, Stanley,” the witch continues, “You’ve exceeded my expectations quite a bit!”You blink. R-really?“No. Not really.” She spits. “From how MASTER TIBIUS and the others described you, I expected you to be taller... and thinner... and much less stupid. I suppose even the brightest minds can be wrong now and again…”Happy to disappoint, you counter with a grin! Wait, did she just call you fat?“Now then,” the witch deflects, “All mental deficiencies aside, I presume you’re wondering why I let you all in here, yes?”“Duh!.” Talbot laughs! “That was pretty dumb of ya’, wasn’t it, Stan?”Yea, you reply as you share a grin with your fellow janitor, it was! Hey Syb, this witch is pretty dumb, huh?Glancing behind you, your eyes fall upon a very distraught Sybil hugged by a concerned Art. “I uh… I think she’s gonna sit this one out for a little bit, guys.”What a diva. You get called dumb all the time and it never bothers you! … much!“How gallant of you.” The witch remarks. “Tell me: did it not seem somewhat strange that there was a clear path in an all but unguarded cannon that led you and your little friends directly into the lab?”You blink in confusion. There were SKELETONS, though… and a DEMON.“Tch. What a baby.”>CONTD.
>>5306446Not satisfied with her answer, Talbot stomps over to your side and jabs an accusatory finger in the golem’s blocky chest! “What the hell are you saying, huh? That we only got down here cuz’ you let us? Yea RIGHT!”“Yea,” The voice echoes in a matter-of-fact tone, “Right. Were the research base operating at peak capacity, under my guidance, of course, we wouldn’t be havink this conversation right now.”“Sounds great.” Art remarks, earning a long, hard stare from the golem. “While I’d much rather be dissectink your mangled corpses right now,” the witch continues, “recent circumstances have forced me to think ‘outside the box’ as you preemitives say. Simply put, I have need of your… abilities.” The room goes silent as you, Talbot, Art, and even Syb exchange a puzzled glance before exploding into raucous laughter!“Oh boy, here we go with the laughink again…” The witch sighs as you double over in mirth!“Is.. is dis’ broad SERIOUS!?!” Ly howls as Art starts smacking the floor with his palm! “She… she wants OUR help!?”“Yes, ‘Ly’,” answers the High Scholar with renewed irritation in her voice, “that ees exactly what I want. And once your master stops laughing like the nose-peeking simpleton she ees, I’ll happily explain why… well, not happily, but…”Okay, okay, okay, you wheeze, shaken out of your mirth by the witch directly addressing your skeleton, how the hell did she do that, anyways? And… and what makes her think she can order you around, exactly?“I’m the HIGH SCHOLAR… and I’m the HIGH SCHOLAR.” She replies in a matter-of-fact tone. “Now listen closely, preemitive… you stand to gain quite a bit from what I’m about to offer…”Having fully recovered from your laughing fit, you stumble back to your feet and give the golem an appraising glare. Okay, Izzie, you snap, what’s this opportunity all about, huh?“As I’m sure you haven’t already surmised,” explains the witch, “thees facility is under LOCKDOWN.”“It uh… it does seem pretty abandoned for an evil lab.” Talbot remarks as he glances around the generator room. “And I’d know!”“I’m sure you would, traitor.” The High Scholar spits. “I don’t want to hurt your small brains with too many big words, so I’ll be brief: a few days ago a promising test in our TELEPORTATION LABS resulted in some, well, unforeseen consequences.”You blink. Did she... did she ever play that ga-“No. No I deedn’t. Now focus, stupid.”She’s missin’ out, that’s all you’re sayin’!>CONTD.
>>5306448“The good news,” The Witch continues, “Ees that the mental defective responsible for the mess was eviscerated mere seconds after he made his mistake. The bad news,” she sighs, “Ees that hees leetle mistake attracted some, shall we say, ‘unwanted guests’.”“DEMONS?” Syb asks, earning a tongue click from the golem. “Your mental fortitude is worthy of song, NOVICE. Yes, stupid, the mistake opened a portal to another dimension: one that ees home to a particularly unscrupulous demon and his horde of thralls: RUMOS: COLLECTOR OF SECRETS.”“Pfft,” Talbot scoffs, “Sounds like a huge dork to me!”“And every word that escapes your perpetually-flapping lips sounds like a donkey braying to me.” Snaps Izzie. “Now here’s the eemportant part: being a, as you say, ‘huge dork’, the first think the demon did upon entering this plane was commandeer the facility’s seestems, save for a few, as you can plainly see.”The golems gesture to the room around you. Yep, you nod, not a lot of demons in here, that’s for sure.“No thanks to you, stupid.” The witch snarls. “Were it not for my swift actions, your bodies would be picked clean and your souls would be fettered forever in THE COLLECTOR OF SECRET’S ruling plane… doomed to forever answer basic trivia questions about your homeworld!”Oh come on, you chuckle, that doesn’t sound that bad!“Eet ees, alright? Don’t be a bitch.” The witch counters! “Now while all eet would take ees for someone to fight their way to the center of this PYRAMID-”“Pyramid power?” Sybil scoffs with renewed venom in her voice, “No wonder your facility was overrun. Pyr-”“I have trekked to countless planes and worlds long before you humans learned what fire ees, NOVICE, and every civilization worth eets salt swore by pyramid power. Every. One.”“Aha!” Sybil grins, “Then perhaps you’ve heard of those structures we built in Egypt? What were those called again?”“Oh… oh no!” The witch exclaims in shock, “Th-the PYRAMIDS! Y-you’re absolutely right-I-I can’t believe I forgot about the pyr-oh WAIT, that was the PLEIADIANS. Oops. Spoilers.”Opening her trembling lips for a retort, Sybil is once again interrupted by the voice coming from the golem’s head.“Now run along and cry into your preemitive pillow, NOVICE. The adult is still talkink.”Art wraps his arm around Syb as she once more falls into embarrassed catatonia. Dang, man!>CONTD.
>>5306449So, you mutter in an attempt to clear the awkwardness out of the air, what was that about the center of the facility?“At the center of thees lab sits a device of immeasurable power:” Izzie explains, “The ZAKHMET FREQUENCY RELAY. Named after the late HIGH SCHOLAR ZAKHMET, of course, not that you’d know him. Stupid.”“That uh,” Art interjects in a cautious tone, “wouldn’t happen to be a TOTEM of some sort, would it?”“Why yes, it would.” Replies the witch in an impressed tone. “If, that ees, you were a drooling preemitive. But please feel free to call the product of countless millennia of arcane research, blood, sweat and tears whatever you like. Hells, call it an ‘ook’ eef eet pleases you–that’s an easy word, eesn’t eet? Only one syllable!”“Yea, I’m good.” Art growls, clearly ready to grind something into a fine powder. “So why does someone as smart as you need us to fix your problems, anyways?”“Oh I don’t need any of you…” The witch scoffs as if Art had just insulted her mother, “But upon watching you all approach with the grace of a KHOOR BEAST on a t’ukka high, I realized that we have much to gain from one another!”Yea, you ask with growing impatience, and what might that be, huh?“Eesn’t eet obvious?” Izzie replies. “You want to kill me, don’t you? To absorb my power in your quest to defeat MASTER TIBIUS?”You shrug. You tend to let the players handle the agency, really.“Well as it so happens, I desire to banish THE COLLECTOR OF SECRETS back to his plane… and reclaim control over the facility in the process, of course.” The golem explains. “My proposition is this: fight your way to the CENTER, reset the ZAK-ugh, TOTEM, and thwart the DEMONIC INCURSION onto this plane. Do this and I’ll happily grant you an audience. After that,” the golem shrugs, “Who can say?”“And what’s stoppin’ us from tracking you down and kicking your bony ass ourselves, huh?!” Talbot asks as he cracks his knuckles menacingly!“Quite a few things, actually:” The voice groans. “First: you don’t know where I am, and even if you did, you’d be trying to infiltrate a place not even a GREATER DEMON can break into. Second, I have all the time in the world. You, on the other hand, have mortal concerns to attend to, like food. Not that you seem to have missed many meals lately.”Hey!“Third, even if by some flagrant stroke of luck you managed to track me down AND defeat me, you’ll still have a DEMONIC INVASION to deal with–one you can’t even dream of thwarting without my PERSONAL CIPHERS for the facility.”Shoot, you forgot about the CIPHERS!>CONTD.
>>5306452“In conclusion,” The witch finishes with a resigned sigh, “This proposal is the best chance you have of completing your mission. You do want to complete your mission, don’t you?”Hell yea you do, you snarl, but you’re not gonna do all the heavy lifting! If you’re gonna play by her rules, and that’s a BIG if, she’s gonna need to help you out!“Yes, yes, I’m well aware of that…” Scoffs the witch with the tone of an annoyed parent, “You humans are always dying in remarkably stupid ways… it’s a wonder your race made it out of this preemative mud puddle you call an ocean…”“Can you help us or not?” Art snaps, causing Izzie to pause a bit.“Of course I can, stupid.” She snaps, quickly regaining her composure. “All security countermeasures and staff beyond the quarantine zones will most likely be compromised–that said, I can provide you with a sentry or two that’s been doubly-warded against demonic possession–it won’t remain unpossessed for long, of course, but it will hold for a time.”“And what about us?” Art asks as her statement sinks in. “What’s stopping us from being possessed, exactly?”“You’ll be provided with similar wardink, of course.” The witch coos. “Again, eet eesn’t permanent, but it will hold.”“For a time.” Sybil murmurs under her breath.“Precisely.” Izzie agrees. “Though if my hypothesis is correct, Stanley, you won’t have much to worry about on that front.”You respond with a snarl! What’s that supposed to mean, huh?“You appear to be ‘possessed’ already.” The witch explains. “Not entirely, of course, but this ‘Ly’ entity you have might provide some interference between you and THE COLLECTOR’S THRALLS. Most of them prefer to eat mortals, however. Also my scan detects that you smell of CINNAMON.“Hey, yea,” Talbot remarks as he raises an eyebrow your way, “I was wonderin’ about that too. What’s the deal?”“Well as any non-preemitive knows,” Answers the witch, “Demons LOVE cinnamon, especially cinnamon sugar.“So does that mean Stanley will be able to pass unharmed?” Sybil asks as confusion seeps into her pale face.“No, NOVICE, eet means they’ll be too busy tryink to eat her to possess her.” Izzie groans. “Please try to keep up.”“So,” Art remarks as Sybil silently fumes next to him, “We just need to stick with Stan and we’ll be alright?”“You won’t be possessed, probably.” Shrugs the golem. “You might get eaten though. Not that I mind, of course–I win either way.”Well ain’t that just peachy/i]?>CONTD.
>>5306453“Now then,” The witch continues, clearly not giving a crap about what you think, “I can also arrange some TELEPORTATION closer to the center of the facility if you’ll follow the sentries to the next room over. Don’t dawdle, now.”Hold it, you snap as the sentries move to leave, you’ve got a question you need answered first!“By all means,” groans your temporary ally, “the DEMON INVASION will wait–what’s the rush? Please, ask whatever you like. I inseest.”Well if she ‘inseest’s, you growl, what was that she was saying about ‘contamination’ earlier? You know, with the MAGIC and junk!“Hm? Ah yes, sometimes I forget how unapologetically stupid you preemitives are… you know about MAGIC about as much as a dachshund knows CALCULUS.”Wait, you frown, what the hell is CALCINUS?“She’s talking about CALCIUM, you dweeb.” Talbot snickers. “Y’know, the stuff milk’s made of?”“I’m just goink to intervene here before I catch the stupid…” Interjects the witch in an annoyed tone. “Since I doubt you’ll live long enough to truly comprehend this explanation, I’ll be brief: your entire body is saturated in heavy amounts of RAW MAGIC.”When she says RAW MAGIC, you interrupt, does she mean, like, WILD MAGIC, or-“WILD magic? How precious.” The witch giggles in an unnervingly chipper voice! “Yes, yes, the big, bad WILD magic will get you, so take care!”You get the vague feeling that she’s making fun of you.“Of course I am, stupid. RAW MAGIC is the correct term–HIGH SCHOLAR, remember?”Sure, you groan, so what’s the deal, anyways?“The ‘deal?” She responds, unsure of how to reply, “What, you mean… you haven’t… oh that IS amusing!”In a distressing display of technological achievement, the golems double over in a collective giggle fit! Quit it, assholes!>CONTD.
>>5306454A few uncomfortable seconds later, the sentries return to their stoic, yet still imposing selves.“Ahhh… apologies, something about your innate DULLNESS tickled me…”And you’re SO happy to hear that, you snarl, but WHY?! What’s so funny, huh?“Well,” The witch wheezes, “At first glance I assumed you were just heavily contaminated by the naturally-occuring RAW MAGIC in the area. Upon further inspection of your scan, however, it would appear that the excess magical energy is seeping out of you.”“Did you say ‘excess’?” Syb asks in a cautious tone.“Yes, NOVICE, I did.” The witch sighs. “Eet’s a common condition among preemitives–they absorb RAW MAGIC like a very stupid sponge, then refine it within themselves, usually without even being conscious of the procedure.”You blink as you touch your hand to your chest. So wait, you mutter, that means you’re-“Yes,” The witch answers impatiently, “A VERY stupid magical sponge/refinery hybrid–one with a lot of leaks, side effects, and a guaranteed short lifespan. Congratulations.” Err, hooray? Shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot, you almost wish that someone would give you a hug before your frenemy continues.“Now now, stupid, don’t cry–freak mutants like yourself have plenty of uses in the modern world! Look for yourself!”Pointing a stony finger at one of the GENERATOR DOMES, the golem gently taps the side of the glass like some scummy used car salesman. “You can’t see them now, of course, but each one of these generators houses at least one conduit such as yourself. Normally this installation wouldn’t require such preemitive methods to function, but these are desperate times…”“What’s so funny about all that, then?” Talbot asks as he taps on the glass like a kid at an aquarium. “These guys are suffering, right?”“Of course not! What do you take us for-barbarians!?” The witch asks, mortified! “We always remove their unnecessary systems first–digestion, nervous, cardiovascular… we provide all the neuron stimulation required and keep them alive with a rudimentary nutrient paste administered intravenously. I’d even say they’re much healthier than they were before–just look how long they’ve lasted!”“So they really provide that much power, huh?” Art asks as he too ventures a closer look into the purple fog-filled dome.“Of course they do, stupid. Why else would we go through the trouble of caring for them?” Punctuating her statement with an irritated sigh, the woman behind the golem looks your way once more. “So there you have it, Stanley: even that preemitive hunk of meat you call a body has its uses. Lucky you.”Yea, you mutter, lucky you…>CONTD.
>>5306455“Now then,” Groans the witch as her trio of golems watch you like a gaggle of very burly hawks, “Anything else I can elucidate for you? You don’t appear to be motivated by the very real possibility of your preemitive race being subjugated by DEMONS, but perhaps a reminder that you might expire from starvation will expedite things?”At the mention of the word ‘starvation’, Lil’ Stanley emerges from her hiding place behind Talbot’s back with a look of abject terror on her masked face! Hey, yea, you snicker, she could use a diet, couldn’t she? Fattie!“I was referring to your shared and very preemitive nutrient dependency.” The witch sighs. “Stupid.”Okay, dork, you counter, if she’s so smart, what are she and her dipstick MASTER planning, huh?“Hmmm… nah. Not touchink that one…”You blink. She can’t, or she won’t?“Yes.”Great. Whether you want to follow her plan or not, the SEA WITCH, or rather her proxy soldiers, await your next move… and your decision.What say you?>FINE, YOU’LL HANDLE HER DIRTY WORK!>SHE CAN HANDLE THIS DEMON CRAP ON HER OWN IF SHE’S SO COOL! YOU’RE NOT WORKING WITH HER!>HOLD UP–YOU’VE GOT SOME MORE QUESTIONS!>CAN SHE, LIKE, GIVE YOU A MINUTE TO CHAT WITH YOUR TEAM FIRST?>QUICK! ATTACK THE GOLEMS WHILE SHE’S DISTRACTED!>WRITE-IN!
>>5306457And on that long-ass note, I'm signing off for the night! Should have more THURSDAY AROUND 3-4PM PST! Thanks for being patient and hope to see you next time!
>>5306457>FINE, YOU’LL HANDLE HER DIRTY WORK!
>>5306457>FINE, YOU’LL HANDLE HER DIRTY WORK!But in actuality we have to ally with the demons. An Atlantean HIGH RESEARCHER definitely has much, much more secrets than all of Earth, right?
>>5306457>FINE, YOU’LL HANDLE HER DIRTY WORK!I’m going to enjoy reading about chewing on this cunt’s bones.
>>5306555Yeah, I have to wonder if there's some way we can use the demons to our advantage. We probably should make sure to actually not get earth consumed by demoms though.
>>5306477>>5306555>>5306644>FINE, BITCHWriting!
You give your friends a resigned shrug before nodding at the golem’s proposition. Fine, you spit, you’ll do it… but that doesn’t mean you’re gonna like it!“I deedn’t give you the task so you could like eet, stupid.” Replies the witch in a smug, oh-so-superior tone, “but congratulations are een order: that’s probably the smartest deceesion you’ve made all day!” She pauses. “Perhaps in your entire life. Hard to tell with you preemitives…”Yea, yea, you snarl, you get it already! Just remember though: a deal’s a deal!“Yep,” Talbot adds as a menacing grin forms on his face, “We get to meetcha face-to-face once we handle your little demon problem!”“Oh don’t worry–unlike you cretins, my brain is still working at peak efficiency.” The witch sneers. “I haven’t forgotten the conversation we had, what, six and a half seconds ago?”The golems turn around before you can get the last word in. “Now stay close, if you please–there’s a TELEPORTER in the next room over, but I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourselves along the way… which reminds me,” she adds as the sentries march towards what you assume to be the room, “Please don’t touch or eat anytheenk on the way over, no matter how, ugh, pretty eet looks.”“And here I was thinking you wanted us to die…” Art scoffs as he and Syb bring up the rear.“Of course I do, stupid, but I’d be pleased as punch if you could remedy the, eherm, TOTEM problem first.” Explains the voice as your little entourage turns a corner. “Or at least kill a demon or two first…”Trotting behind the golems like a kid on a field trip, you can’t help but frown as you all approach what appears to be just another dark, marble-like wall ahead. Maintaining their speed, the sentries barely slow down as the wall splits into several individual glowing cubes! Sliding out of your way, you and your team enter a small, circular room dominated by something resembling a high-tech lily pad lined with countless tiny veins–each one pulsing with magical energy!“And here we are: one of the many administrative teleporter chambers scattered around the facility. Eempressive though eet may be, please try not to drool or cry on any of the equipment. One magical circuit ees worth more than your entire preemitive race’s net worth, and yes, I’ve calculated that.”“How, exactly?” Art asks as he sends an usure glance around the room. “Sounds hard to quantify.”“With SUPERIOR INTELLECT, stupid. Now quit trying to understand–you’ll give yourselves headaches.” Posting themselves in front of the gap in the wall, the sentries go into some kind of ‘hibernation’ mode as the cubes rebuild the wall they emerged from!“Aaand there goes your chance to change your preemitive minds… bye-bye!” Coos the witch’s now-disembodied voice. >CONTD.
>>5307107“So,” Sybil mutters in a shakier voice than usual, “We’re um… we’ll be teleported to the ZAKHMET FREQUENCY RELAY from here, then?”“Oh wow, such a smart preemative!” The witch remarks in a tone slathered in mock pride, “Keep sayeenk those beeg words I just taught you and I’ll just have to give you a treat… let’s see here… how about a cookie? Or maybe some genetic manipulation? It’d do wonders for those less-than-ideal features…”“J-just answer the question, please…” Sybil mutters, dejectedly staring at the lily pad.“Spoilsport.” Izzie sighs in a disappointed voice. “A WRONG spoilsport, too–unlike you, stupid, THE COLLECTOR OF SECRETS is craftier than he looks and has subverted the majority of the teleporters and seestems around the device.”Before you can ask, a digital blueprint of the lab flickers into existence on one of the walls. “Thees ees where you are,” explains the witch as a blue dot blinks in the pyramid’s outer perimeter. “Go ahead–wave hello!”You and Talbot exchange looks for a moment before giving the dot a wave.“HAH! You actually deed eet! Oh, preemitives… when weel you learn…”Laughing off your gesture, the witch takes a moment to catch her breath before another dot appears–this one located near the center of the pyramid’s base. “You’ll be teleported here. I know what you’re theenkink: notheenk. You’re theenkink notheenk. But perhaps through some miracle of evolution one of your preemitive neurons finally decided to work properly and now you’re wondereenk: why, HIGH SCHOLAR? Why, een all your near-divine grace and intelligence are you sendink us so far away?”“Well… yea-”“Don’t eenterrupt, oaf.” The witch snaps, earning a glare from Talbot. “Eef I know demons well, and I most certainly do, THE COLLECTOR OF SECRETS has focused its attention on the more… educational lab seestems and sectors… leavink our mothballed labs relateevly unattended to.”That doesn’t explain why she’s sending you all the way to the friggin’ bottom, though!“Eet does–you’re just too stupid to comprehend eet.” The witch retorts. “Allow me to explain: our labs hef emergency deesposal seestems in case of emergencies that lead eento a waste deesposal plant at the bottom. However, eef some exceptionally stupid and suicidal preemitives climbed up through those labs instead of down… again, that’s UP, not DOWN, then they could theoretically reach the center relatively easily… do you require more veesual aids?”Nah, you’re good…>CONTD.
>>5307111“Disposal, right?” Art asks as he examines the blueprint closer, “Won’t there be things in our way?”“Just a few automated sanitation seestems designed to pacify and break down hostile foreign matter…” The witch replies with a shrug in her voice. “But you humans have proven to be quite resilient, so you should be fine… and if you aren’t, well… I probably won’t be upset for that lonk.”Super. Idly tapping your finger on the wall, an idea comes to mind: is teleportation really the only way over, you ask, pointing your finger at the bottom of the pyramid.“Well, no.” Izzie grumbles. “Eef your preemitive bodies can’t handle warpink, I’m also more than capable to open up a PASSAGE leadink into one of the nearby HABITATION MODULES… Eet’s a more-direct approach, of course, but it could potentially be more dangerous as we-wait a minute… I just remembered!”You blink. Remembered what?“Why, that I truly DON’T CARE what happens to you!” Giggles the witch with glee! “The TELEPORTER works, of course, but there ees a possibility of, well, gleetches… our seestems are under quite a beet of strain, after all…”“What, um, what kind of glitches?” Sybil asks in a meek tone usually reserved for a library.“Too many to describe.” The witch sighs. “You could eemplode, of course, that’s always a pain to clean up… you could mutate–kind of a meexed deal there… you might even be teleported to a completely deefrent time or place–like an alternate universe where humans aren’t so preemitive! Say, that might not be that bad, hm?”“Or,” Art interjects as Syb continues studying the floor, “We just cut through the walls.”“Eempressive memory, human. Yes, those are your choices.” Confirms Izzie’s disembodied voice. “So before I send you on your suicide mis-errm, merry way, allow me to confirm some details:”QUESTION 1: WHAT ROUTE WILL YOU TAKE?>TELEPORT TO THE PYRAMID’S BASE AND CLIMB THROUGH THE LABS!>CUT THROUGH THE WALL AND THE HABITATION MODULES!>CAN’T WE JUST RUN THROUGH THAT GATE WE ACCIDENTALLY OPENED?>WRITE-IN!QUESTION 2: HOW MANY SENTRIES DO YOU DESIRE?WARNING: WILL EVENTUALLY BE POSSESSED!>ZERO! WE CAN HANDLE SHIT!>ONE! JUST A LITTLE OOMPH!>TWO! MIGHT GET DICEY BRINGING THEM ALONG, BUT…>THREE! CALL IN THE CAVALRY!QUESTION 3: WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE LAB RIGHT NOW?>HIGH SCHOLAR IZITHA!>HIGH SCHOLAR IZITHA!>HIGH SCHOLAR IZITHA!>WRITE-IN HIGH SCHOLAR IZITHA!QUESTION 4: WHO IS THE STUPIDEST?>STANLEY!>SYBIL!>ART!>LIL’ STANLEY!>TALBOT!>ALL OF THE PRIMITIVES COMBINED! HA!
>>5307113>TELEPORT TO THE PYRAMID’S BASE AND CLIMB THROUGH THE LABS!>ONE! JUST A LITTLE OOMPH!>WRITE-IN HIGH SCHOLAR IZITHA!>>ALL OF THE PRIMITIVES COMBINED! HA!
>>5307113>CUT THROUGH THE WALL AND THE HABITATION MODULES!Should be doable between us and Talbot, along with Art’s explosives.>TWO! MIGHT GET DICEY BRINGING THEM ALONG, BUT…We can collapse the walls behind us to seal them out, or disable them entirely. Plus, the more of those things wandering around possessed, the bigger a pain in the ass it’ll be for the witch herself.>WRITE-IN!Definitely not the last members of a DEAD civilization that didn’t outlast mankind, all enthralled to a “preemeetiv,”“noveece,” HUMAN necromancer.>WHO IS THE STUPIDEST IN THE ROOM?That starfish still attached to the back of Talbot’s tracksuit.
>>5307326>Definitely not the last membersRemove the not.
Gonna call it for tonight, folks--got sidetracked by video games and it's LATE! Should have more FRIDAY AROUND 11-12PM PST, though, so hope to see you then!I'm sensing a little confusion in the vote here, so here's some handy clarification: Cutting through the wall means IZZIE will open a passage for you not unlike the way you entered the teleporter room. Once through, you'll have to make your way through the HABITATION MODULE. Rest assured that you'll only need to blow up the walls that you see fit to destroy!Anyways, hope that helps. Thanks again for playing!
>>5307494> I'm sensing a little confusion in the vote here, so here's some handy clarification: Cutting through the wall means IZZIE will open a passage for you not unlike the way you entered the teleporter room. Rereading the post, I understand that now. In that case, I’ll change to>TELEPORT TO THE PYRAMID’S BASE AND CLIMB THROUGH THE LABS!
>>5307113Aren't we also in danger of possession if we take too long? I'm thinking loud, hot and direct. I can't help but wonder if the COLLECTOR OF SECRETS knows how Izzy thinks and is expecting the attack from below. So...QUESTION 1: WHAT ROUTE WILL YOU TAKE?>CUT THROUGH THE WALL AND THE HABITATION MODULES!QUESTION 2: HOW MANY SENTRIES DO YOU DESIRE?WARNING: WILL EVENTUALLY BE POSSESSED!>THREE! CALL IN THE CAVALRY!Get those sentries on point and hopefully they'll all be smashed by demons by the time we get to our objective. Let's be fast, no one wants to deal with a possessed Syb.
>>5307648There IS a threat of possession, yep, but it's unclear just how that works--Izzie didn't exactly extrapolate on it, now did she? I can confirm, however, that yes, possession is possible.That said, Stan smells really tasty, so who knows what'll happen, right? Syb and the others are def at risk too :)>>5307527I'm assuming you're >>5307326 this guy, but just to avoid a tie would you mind confirming or denying for me? For the sake of fairness I'll assume you are and write an update in less than half an hour!
>>5307879I'll change my question #4 answer to:>That starfish still attached to the back of Talbot’s tracksuit.And my answer to question #2 to:>TWO! MIGHT GET DICEY BRINGING THEM ALONG, BUT…I'll keep my answers to everything else as they are.
Alright, you goofs, hope I'm not stepping on anyone's toes here.>>5307123>>5307527>TELEPORT>>5307648>BREAK ON THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE!>SENTRIES:>>5307889>>5307326 2>>53076483>QUESTION 3:>>5307123>HIGH SCHOLAR IZITHA, OF COURSE!>>5307326>SICK BURN!>STUPIDEST:>>5307123>ALL THE PRIMITIVES! HA!>>5307326>>5307889>STARFISH!Hope that works, you indecisive maniacs. Writing!
“Teleportatiooooonnn…” The witch mutters as she performs some unknown task on her end, “Excellent choice if I do say so myself…”As if on cue, the room around you begins to hum and rumble with magical energy! Back to back with your pals, you give them a determined nod. No goin’ back now!“Destination…. locked.” Murmurs the witch as the lily pad below you begins to glow blue! “Sentries ESKER and VIBALD have been programmed… IFFs updated, virtual intelligence configured for autonomous operation… cores charged… observe, Rodhi, you might learn somethink for once…”The third remaining sentry steps off the teleport pad and watches from a safe edge as lights begin to dance around you! As Lil’ Stanley swipes at them from the safety of Talbot’s shoulder, you feel a wave of static wash over your body!“Demonic warding complete–triple-cast, naturally. No half measures…” A few moments of unintelligible muttering later, a triumphant ‘ha-HA’ rings out over the sound of the teleporter!“Remember, preemitives–RESET the ’TOTEM’ and the COLLECTOR OF SECRETS weel have no more eenfluence over thees world… write eet down, please–gods help you eef you forget…” As you feel your, well, you start to slip into uncertainty, you hear a faint voice from wherever the sea witch’s is coming from.“Of course they won’t be monitored, eedeeot… the damned seestems are overrun by DEMONS. Just monitor for any changes and stop tryink to be smart…”Before you can inquire further, the room is rocked by a sudden CRACK of crimson energy! Feeling yourself immaterialize, a sound frighteningly similar to some kind of ALARM fills the chamber!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OVannBfBrwGlancing down at your body, your eyes widen as you watch your legs evaporate into a series of flickering shapes… then your midsection, then your chest, and finally your-“Rodhi, deed you remember to ward the teleporter? I’m seeink-”And in a flash, your world goes dark.ROLL ME 1d100 FOR REASONS! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5308008Damnit Rhodi!
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5308008
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5308008nat1 and we get into the itchy dimension
>>5308070Don’t tempt fate that much, man. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.
>>5308038>>5308062>>5308070>HIGHEST ROLL: 89!>>5308070Listen to >>5308073 this guy, anon! You're itchin' fer trouble!Writing!
You’re everywhere. And nowhere. And somewhere, but you’re not certain where that somewhere is. Tumbling through something resembling a place, you come to the conclusion that you are, and that’s pretty good, all things considered! After what feels like an eternity of having each and every atom being tugged on by what you assume must be, you dunno, TRANSDIMENSIONAL DOGS, you finally feel a sensation akin to being yanked offstage by a very strong hook–one that pulls you back into something resembling consciousness!Snap back to reality-op, there goes gravity! Seriously, there it goes! As you suck up your first gulp of air in what very well might have been minutes, you feel the all-too-familiar tug of gravity on your flailing body dragging you down a steep shaft towards… well, you can’t exactly see yet through the acrid green haze in the air around you! “Phew!” Ly remarks as your rental sentries catch up to you in mid-fall, “Dat’ was a wild ride, huh? Great ta’ be back in-oh. We’re fallin’.”You sure are, pal! As you hurtle towards what you hope is a giant trampoline, you spot both Syb and Talbot in the air next to you–the former still sullen from being taken down a notch, the latter shrieking like a girl as he clings to Lil’ Stanley for dear life!Just when you’re beginning to get concerned, your reprieve appears in the form of a massive pile of, well… jury’s still out, but-SPLUTCH!Oh yea, that’s nasty... Nice stuff doesn’t make a ‘SPLUTCH’ noise, that’s for damn sure! Pulling your head out of some kind of metallic, fleshy slurry like a really confused ostrich, you spit out a few remnants of whatever you just French kissed and find yourself on one of many massive conveyor belts lined with piles of refuse of varying shapes and sizes. Collect ‘em all!“Huh.” Talbot mutters as he emerges from the muck next to you like a really confused gopher, “Guess we ain’t dead yet, huh?”Nope, you shrug as Lil’ Stanley emerges and takes a few cursory nibbles of the pile, but there’s plenty of time for that!Rising from the garbage pile like really confused zom-okay, just zombies, your two loaner sentries… err… ERNESTO AND VIVALDI look your way with their glowing eyes. Take a picture, you snarl as you cover up your chest, it’ll last longer!“I uh,” Ly mutters as Talbot takes a page from your raccoon and takes a tentative bite out of the pile, “I think they’re lookin’ for orders, Stan.”Yea, yea, that’s what they always say, you groan, wiping a few more pile particles off of your hat! If that’s the case, you continue, then make yourselves useful–find Syb!“Don’t forget Art, cupcake.” Ly adds in a wary voice.Oh, uh, Art too! Of course! W-where is that little scamp, anyways? You were gonna say his name next, Ly!>CONTD.
>>5308188Both golems stare blankly at you for a moment before they spring into action! While ERNESTO, the one with what looks like some kind of eyeball wedged in between his head and torso, rummages around in the chum-scented filth you’re currently stuck in, VIVALDI, the one with a smudge over his eye like a cute lil’ puppy wordlessly points his hand down the shaft at another, much lower conveyor belt.One that just so happens to be headed for a tunnel that flashes with light every few seconds. Yep, you’re pretty sure that ain’t a dance club down there.“Is dat’ him down there?” Ly asks, prompting you to squint to get a better look. Sure enough, lying on top of another rubbish pile is Art–the accident-prone ginger’s perpetually-sweaty face even slicker than usual! Pinned to the filth by a large, unwieldy science thing, the rent-a-cop struggles to break free as he lets loose with a terrified, and still surprisingly feminine shriek! Mind racing with all the horrible things that Syb could do to you if you let Art die, you frantically pounce onto Talbot and shake him by the shoulders! Quit eating whatever the hell that is and help save Art! Does he know what the readers will do if Art dies aga-Exhausted from the sudden bout of effort, your brain shifts gears to a more exciting topic: Is uh, you mutter as you watch Talbot and Lil’ Stanley graze on the formless goop that broke your fall, is that stuff any good?“Mmm…” Talbot mumbles in between chewing, “Nah. Not terrible, though.”Ignoring Lil’ Stanley’s encouraging thumbs up, you shift your attention back to Ernesto as he dutifully unearths an alive, but still very downtrodden-looking Sybil from the trash heap! You good?Before The Goth can give you an appropriately-half hearted response, you feel something move, or rather slither in the mound of goop past your feet! Guys, you mutter as you try to locate the one responsible, there’s something in here with us!“And dat’ ain’t all…” Ly murmurs as he turns your head around. Looking ahead, you immediately spot where your conveyor belt ride ends: a sheer drop into the yawning shaft below! What’s worse, you feel a powerful current pushing the water around you downwards–looking up, you spot not one… not two… but a BUNCH of humongous turbines lining the chamber–each one sending a whole lotta water downstairs!As Talbot and Lil’ Stanley take another bite of trash, Art lets loose with another shriek, and Syb continues to hang limp in Ernesto’s confused hand, you come to a realization:This… this might not be as easy as you thought...>CONTD.
>>5308190With time at a premium right now, you race to decide what problem you oughta’ deal with first!WHAT WILL STAN DO?>SNAP SYB OUTTA HER FUNK!>TRY TO RESCUE ART!>SEEK AND DESTROY THE GARBAGE GOBLIN!>GET TALBOT AND LIL’ STANLEY TO STOP EATING CRAP!>WRITE-IN!WHAT SHOULD ERNESTO DO?>SNAP SYB OUTTA HER FUNK!>TRY TO RESCUE ART!>SEEK AND DESTROY THE GARBAGE GOBLIN!>GET TALBOT AND LIL’ STANLEY TO STOP EATING CRAP!>WRITE-IN!... AND VIVALDI?>SNAP SYB OUTTA HER FUNK!>TRY TO RESCUE ART!>SEEK AND DESTROY THE GARBAGE GOBLIN!>GET TALBOT AND LIL’ STANLEY TO STOP EATING CRAP!>WRITE-IN!
>>5308192>STAN>SNAP SYB OUTTA HER FUNK!Get her to realize that Art is actually in danger and she should come to pretty quick.>ERNESTO>SEEK AND DESTROY THE GARBAGE GOBLIN!>VIVALDI>TRY TO RESCUE ART!The golem probably has the best chance for freeing him given raw strength.Talbot will probably stop eating things once he realizes he’s rolling towards a steep plummet. Or that he’s got something slithering underneath him. Or if the gunk turns out to be poisonous.And yeah. I also have the ID yt4EaZBr.
>>5308210+1
>>5308210>>5308192+1
>>5308210>>5308212>>5308213Can't argue with those plans! And now the moment you've been waiting for:ROLL ME 3d100s TO DO THE FOLLOWING:>#1: GET SYB MOBILE!If you have any specific pep-talks or actions you wanna try to snap her out of it, WRITE'EM IN! It'll only add 'BONE'USES!>#2 ERNESTO VS. GARBAGE CREEPER!Dude will probably just smash shit, but again, if you have any specific ideas, WRITE'EM IN!>#4 VIVALDI SAVES ART!They're big and cumbersome, but these golems are powered by magic and strong as heck! Ideas? Write-Ins. 'BONE'USES. You get the picture!I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS! REMEMBER: 3d100!
Rolled 86, 84, 100 = 270 (3d100)>>5308239LETS GOOOOOOOOOO
>>5308240Sweet crap! We win again boys!
>>5308240Guess I ain't killing Art this time... this time...Still need two more rolls, but keep 'em up, folks!
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5308239rollin>>5308240ohshit
Rolled 74, 91 = 165 (2d100)>>5308265forgot my other 2 rolls somehow
Rolled 94, 68, 69 = 231 (3d100)>>5308239As mentioned prior, just mentioning Art in danger is probably enough to get Syb cracking, not that we need it with these rolls.
HIGHEST ROLLS:>>5308240>>5308265>>5308268>>5308272>GET SYB MOVING: 94!>ERNESTO VS. CREEPER: 84!>SAVE ART: 100! HELL YEA!>>5308272>MENTIONING ARTYou betcha! The write-in stuff also helps me flavor the update too, so the suggestion is much appreciated.That all said, it's pretty late on my end and tomorrow might be a little busy--expect an update SATURAY AROUND 10-11AM PST! Will be busy for most of the day after that, but we'll see what happens.Thanks again for playing and seeya in the morning!
>>5308325I hate you for naming the golems because now I’m gonna get attached to them.
No time to lose here: you’ve seen enough waste disposal system accident vids on 4JAN to know that things can get real messy, real fast! Scampering over to Syb, you order your new pet golems to kill Art and save that trash monster! No, wait–SAVE Art and KILL the trash monster! Whoops!Standing stoically in what you hope is acknowledgement, both Vivaldi and Ernesto spring into action as you wrap your arm around your ole’ pal Sybil! Say, you mutter as you watch Ernesto systematically pummel the heap of garbage and Vivaldi hop off the ledge towards Art, those golems are uh… pretty neat, huh?“She… she’s right, Stanley…” The Goth mutters in a shaky voice as she stares at her boots, “M-my podcast has some dedicated fans, but… but I’m nothing compared to actual mages…”Yea, you frown, you’re calling bullshit. You’re calling bullshit on that one!“But it’s TRUE, Stan!” Sybil pouts! “All the spells and lore I’ve learned is from MESSAGE BOARDS and… and the LIBRARY! D-do you know anyone who still goes to the library in this day and age!?”You respond by grabbing the geek by her soft, pale shoulders! How does she DO it?“M-moisturizer…”Listen, you hiss over the sound of Ernesto smashing trash behind you, you don’t know what kind of smarmy, hoity-toity, high-falootin’ secret society this ‘Lieb R’hery’ is, but you know one thing for sure!“Stan, h-have you never been to th-”You’re trying to be a good friend here–don’t be a bitch! Anyways, you snarl, struggling to be heard over crunching metal, punching trash, and both Talbot and Lil’ Stanley finally noticing they’re about to die, it doesn’t matter what kind of robes she wears, what dorks she hangs out with, or how many spells she knows or where she even found them! Hell, you find cool stuff on the internet all the time!“L-like what?” Syb asks, spirits lifting little by little.That’s uh, that’s not important right now! The point is, you continue, she’s the smartest person in YOUR team, and a damn good friend, to boot! When you need a plan, who do you turn to?“Well usually you just make a decision-”And when you need a spell cast, who do you turn to?“But-”But nothing, missy, you’ve seen her cast crazy stuff more times than you can count! Hell, you’re probably an accessory to murder at this point–you saw what she did to Topher Mahoney when she caught him cheating back in High School!“I…” Sybil mutters, before glaring at you suspiciously, “Wait… I thought I wiped your mind of that… did the memory tea not take, Stan?”N-not important, you deflect! >CONTD.
>>5308729Taking Sybil’s wary gaze as signs of progress, you move in for the kill! N-not that she killed anyone in the past, of course! H-ha ha! A-and, you continue, which person on the team has never failed to share her long-winded and stuffy plans?“M-me?”Damn RIGHT, you nod! And who the hell would fill that void without her? TUCKER? DENISE?!“W-well,” Sybil stammers as a faint smile forms on her face, “I-that’s…”Oh yea, you add, speaking of filling voids, Art probably needs her help too, an-With a spirited ‘ARTIE!’, your pal lights up like a Christmas Tree and immediately rockets off after Vivaldi! Wow, you huff, planting your hands on your hips in irritation, sure would be nice if she reacted that way when you needed help…“Didn’t she go nutso an’ rip apart an entire lab bunker dat’ one time, though?”Yea, well, you stammer, flat footed by Ly’s interruption, y’know… just shut up, Ly. Just shut up.“STAN!” Talbot roars as he rushes over with Lil’ Stanley hanging on for dear life, “WE GOTTA MOVE–THIS BELT’S GONNA DROP US! DO SOMETHING!” NOW he notices! As you open your mouth to make a snarky comment, your fellow janitor grabs you by the shoulders and stares at you with panic in his eyes! Eheheh, th-those hands of his are so strong…Before you can get comfy, however, the moment is cut short by a humanoid figure exploding out of the goop pile! “IIII KNOWWW SHHHOMETHINNG YEEEERRRR DON’T KNOOOOW!”Caked in filth like some kind of TRASH MISSILE, it’s hard to place just what the hell it used to be–the few parts not caked by gunk are instead covered in barbed and sizzling scar tissue not unlike the thing you ran into near the gate earlier! On a more pressing note, however, whatever the hell it is is flying towards you and slurring stuff! Granted, you’ve been known to do that too, on occasion, but this case happens to be of the more menacing variety.Still holding onto you, Talbot heroically springs into action and whirls around to face the attacker!… wait, nope, he’s just using you as a human shield. And screaming. Right in your ear, too. Man, this guy’s the worst...>CONTD.
>>5308736Frozen in place by Talbot’s iron grip, you charge up your EYE LASER as more gunk plops off of your assailant revealing something akin to a human skeleton dipped in rotten… you dunno… spider meat and soaked in lava for a few minutes!“DOOO YYYERRR WANNA KNOW A SEEECREEE-”Stretching a pair of gnarled, overgrown claws in your direction, the horror vanishes in a sudden blast of light mere inches from your freckled face! Blinking in surprise, you watch the leaper’s ashes dissolve into the water around you and release the breath you didn’t know you were holding! Wait a sec-why doesn’t your eye hurt? A…are you evolving?!Your answer comes in the form of Ernesto dutifully lumbering over to you and your pals. Lingering in place for a few moments, the golem stomps on the beast’s ashes a few more times for good measure before blinking at you expectantly. “Well, uh…” Talbot mutters from behind you, “Not um. Not bad. Not special, but-”Freeing yourself with a well-placed elbow to his stomach, you let Talbot crumple onto the trash-laden floor as you give Ernesto a nod of approval. Now that’s what you call service!“Hellooooo?” Calls a familiar nasally voice from below, “This uh… this thing won’t put me down…”“Down, boy!” Sybil barks with renewed pep in her voice! “He’s safe now!”Peering over the edge of the conveyor belt, you immediately notice a fresh cloud of metal debris lazily drifting in the middle of the chamber… wait a minute!“Check it out, Stan!” Ly commands as he points your head upwards, “Da’ fans are busted!”Most of them are, at least! Where there was once a powerful current pushing everything downwards is now a gentle ‘breeze’--one that might even make the climb upwards somewhat refreshing!“Stan!” Calls Sybil from below, “Come here–Art found something!”Responding with a curt ‘mhm’, you give Talbot’s prone form a stern glare. Is he coming or what?“Y-yea…” He wheezes as Lil’ Stanley quietly transfers from his back to yours, “Y-you mind helpin’ me up? That elbow got past my defenses…”No, you snap as you prepare to leap down to where Syb and Art are, you DON’T mind!“... s-so wait,” Talbot grunts as he continues to nurse his stomach, “D-does that mean you’re gonna help, cuz’-”Oh my GOD, he knows what you meant! Read the dang room! Blowing a raspberry his way, you hastily leap off the ledge before you run into anymore misunderstandings!>CONTD.
>>5308747Landing with a dull ‘squeak’ on the lower conveyor belt, you allow a sigh of relief as you find whatever was causing the zaps earlier torn into several metal chunks! While Vivaldi stands next to it like a dog that just tore up a pillow, Art and Sybil take a breather next to what appears to be some kind of…. MAINTENANCE PASSAGE leading upwards!“There ya’ are.” Art observes with a grin as you trot over to your two pals. “Thanks for sending help–a second later and I’d be a fly in a bug zapper.”“I’m sorry again, Artie…” Sybil adds as she runs a hand over his helmeted head, “I would have aided you as well if I wasn’t-”“Relax, alright?” Interrupts the rent-a-cop, “You don’t have to be perfect 24/7, y’know…”Ignoring Syb’s flustered giggling and the bile rising in the back of your throat, you shift your attention from the lovebirds over to the passage. So, you say as you clear your throat, what’s this, then?“Oh, right!” Art remarks as if just remembering, “Your uh, your friend here tore that off its hinges.” he explains, pointing to the remains of what you assume was some kind of mesh or zappy machine. “Mid-smash, though, I guess he accidentally tore a part of the wall away.”“Convenient.” Sybil observes as she peeks into the recess leading upwards. “It would appear to be a service hatch of sorts.”It sure does, you nod, and even better, it looks like the golems use it too–rather than a massive, rusty ladder towering overhead, you instead find a ramp spiraling upwards along with some sort of CARGO LIFT in the middle! Score!“You can say that again.” Art chuckles. “This should take us up pretty far, don’t you think?”Before you can respond, a series of blood curdling shrieks ring out across the main waste shaft… or was it the maintenance one?As you deliberate further with your pals, two more sets of feet drop onto the belt behind you–one belonging to Ernesto, of course, who lands like a pile of bricks, and Talbot, who lands like a pile of JERK!“Yep, I made it…” Talbot says with a shrug as he and Ernesto approach the group. “Ooh, secret passage.”“Where have you been anyways?” Art asks as he rises to his feet.Eating garbage, you answer with a smug grin!“Hey, it didn’t taste like trash, alright??” Talbot counters in an offended tone! “Besides, you know what goes into hot dogs?”He’s gonna know what your FIST goes into if he ever uses you as a shield again!“I thought you were gonna armor up! Shoot me!”Oh, you’re definitely thinking about it!>CONTD.
>>5308750“Yes, well,” Sybil speaks up as she steps between you and Talbot, “Not to rush everyone, but we appear to be on borrowed time here…”“Yep,” Art nods, “And we’ve probably got a lot of climbing to do to get to that TOTE- oh, I’m sorry--’ZADKADINGA DUMBLE DEVICE!’”“HAH!” Sybil hoots, “‘Yew preemitives have to do what I say… because I’m OLD!’”“Yea!” Talbot laughs, “No video games until you take the trash out, Talbot!” Seeing everyone turn to look his way, it takes the janitor a few seconds to register. “Wait… we’re talking about our parents, right? Because I only have my ma-”“So,” Sybil interrupts, “Should we take this passage here? It might be easier than hopping from conveyor belt to conveyor belt…”“It might,” Art replies as he adjusts his helmet and SEA CLOAK, “but didn’t that witch say the demon’s controlling a bunch of systems? What if they know about this maintenance hatch?”“Then we fight a few more creepy-crawlies.” Talbot shrugs. “Nothin’ new there, right?”“Besides,” adds Sybil, “Our, erm, friends can’t climb too well, can they?”As if they were listening in, both Ernesto and Vivaldi float upwards carried by jets of pure magic from their arms and legs! Twirling and landing in unison, the golems both turn and stare at The Goth,prompting her to give them a slow golf clap. You chime in too.“Well,” Sybil remarks in a slightly-embarrassed tone, “It would appear that they’re more mobile than I thought.”In that case, it’s time to figure out your plan! What’s happenin’?>HOP FROM BELT TO BELT IN THE MAIN SHAFT! MORE WIGGLE ROOM!>SCALE THE MAINTENANCE… RAMP… THING!>TAKE THE MAINTENANCE ELEVATOR! YOU CAN ALWAYS HOP OFF IF THINGS GET DICEY!>WAIT, CAN’T THESE GOLEMS JUST FLY US ALL THE WAY UP?>WRITE-IN!Got plans for the rest of the day, folks, so can't promise another update until later! Thanks for playing and see you soon, maybe!
>>5308753>>SCALE THE MAINTENANCE… RAMP… THING!
>>5308753>SCALE THE MAINTENANCE… RAMP… THING!Do you guys think we could manage to trade a few secrets out of the demon? I mean, probably a bad idea anyway, as dealing with demons at all generally is, but I’d put money down he knows some useful shit about the witch. Hell, he might even know some useful things about Tim and the rest of the local going-ons.
>>5308844Maybe even useful leverage on Shannon...
>>5309114>Ancient demon can tell us how to kill fairies>All it asks for in return is Art’s soul
>>5309119He died once, didn't he?Surely he can do the team a solid again?
>>5309120I mean, bargaining with a greater demon of Tzeentch is hardly the dumbest thing we’ve done, right? I’m sure as our second in command, he’d understand the risks at hand.
>>5309125He signed up for it when he decided to stay in the van in thread #1 :^)
>>5309132Man, we fell for demon’s temptations and we haven’t even talked to it yet. This thing is powerful.
>>5308753>SCALE THE MAINTENANCE… RAMP… THING!
>>5308796>>5308844>>5309222>RAMP THINGS UP A BIT!ROLL ME 1d100+5 JUST TO SEE HOW THE TRIP GOES! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!As for the real update, plans today have, as you can clearly see, gone a little longer than expected. Gonna be a bit busy tomorrow morning as well, so expect an update SUNDAY AROUND 3-4PM PST! I'll keep you updated via Twitter.>>5309137Congratulations. Stan was going to Hell before, of course, but now she's REALLY locked in. I hope a demon maybe helping you was worth a poor raccoon-girl-thing's immortal soul.
Rolled 19 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5309231Trip backwards on a banana peel so that we slide quicker up the ramp. Where my BONE-US?
Rolled 87 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5309231
Rolled 30 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5309231No no Bones, we giving him Art's soul in exchange for info, still means we're going to hell of course but details matter
>>5309247Exactly. Keep up with the details. The only immortal soul being traded here is the one that’s been living on borrowed time anyway.
>>5309244>>5309245>>5309247>HIGHEST ROLL: 92!Writing!>>5309244Your write-in certainly counts! I'll factor some of that shit into the next post... and since you asked, I'll add a little more OOMPH to that winning roll of yours!>>5309247>>5309251Well when you put it like that it makes loads more sense! Yea, Art's had a pretty good run, right?
As the unholy wailing and shrieking rapidly approaches from above, you find it relatively easy to come up with a decision. Taking a few steps up the massive spiraling ramp, you raise an eyebrow at the rest of your gang. They comin’ or what?“Aw JEEZ, Talbot groans as he reluctantly steps closer, “You want us to WALK all the way up?! Look how HIGH it is!”Exactly, you snarl, so does he really wanna chance the elevator in the middle of this all-you-can-eat BULLSHIT SPECIAL you’ve been served for the last few days? Really?“Well TECHNICALLY we aren’t supposed to use an elevator in an emergency…” Art mutters as he idly clicks his tongue. “...Yep, I’m down for a hike.”“Friggin’ lame...” Grumbles your fellow janitor as he stomps over to the ramp. “Just don’t blame me when your stumpy little legs get tired!”His neck’s gonna be stumpy if he keeps talking about your legs, you angrily reply! And by that you mean you’re gonna cut his head of-Before you can finish your explanation, a small blur scuttles onto Talbot’s shoulder and launches itself at your face! Deftly dodging to the side, you manage to avoid the attack, but not the marble-like wall! Smashing your face into the high-tech masonry, you stumble backwards amidst a chorus of panicked cries from your pals!“WATCH OUT, STAN!” Art howls, “IT’S ANOTHER KILLER STARFISH!AND HE’S GONNA GET YOU!”Thanks, Art, very descriptive! Before you can prepare an appropriate counterattack, your foot provides one for you: still stumbling from the decisive blow you caught off the wall, you step on something small and squishy, ending the battle almost immediately!https://youtu.be/6mudEn-dRGg“Huh.” Art remarks, “Never mind, I guess.”Before you can relax, however, your weight shifts a bit too much to your starfish-crushing foot, and with a gut-wrenching ‘SPLORTCH’ the expired echinoderm slides up the ramp like a sea-dwelling rocket!In what can only be described as a comical slap in the face of Modern Physics, you find yourself being carried along for the ride! Rocketing uphill with the grace of a water buffalo on a surfboard, you shoot a plaintive glance at your pals as they grow smaller with each lap around the chamber!“Y’know,” Remarks Ly’s disembodied voice as you struggle to balance on one shaky, stubby leg, “I’d be a lot more scared right now if dis’ wasn’t so much fun!”Glad he’s enjoying himself, you snap, now DO something! “Uhhh, lemme think here…” Muttering to himself, it isn’t long before your skeleton springs into action!… nah, really–he just makes you jump. Right into another wall. Colliding with a dull ‘thud’, you manage to spit out one last curse before everything around you goes dark…>CONTD.
>>5309881By the time your senses return, you find yourself moving steadily upwards along the ramp. Sputtering back into consciousness, you nearly roll over into the central elevator pit! The STARFISH, you snap, are you still sliding?!“Oh good, you’re not dead.”Turning to face the voice, you find Art keeping pace with you sitting atop Vivaldi’s shoulders. “How’s the head?”It’s uh… you mutter, rubbing your still-sensitive forehead, it could be better!“Well at least you’re able to describe it, hm?” As if on cue, Sybil BLINKS into existence next to you. Glancing downwards, you find yourself in a similar situation to Art’s, only you’re currently atop Ernesto. With Lil’ Stanley perched on your shoulders, you almost make a cool little tower! Neat!“Hey!”Oh great, he’s still around! Looking back in the direction of the voice, you can’t help but giggle a little as you watch Talbot struggling to keep pace with everyone else!“There are DEMONS around, ya’ know!” He sputters as he jogs up the ramp after the golems, “You jerks had better slow down if you’re not gonna give me a ride!”“Shoulda’ called ‘dibs’ again, man.” Art chuckles from the safety of his golem. “Maybe in the next few floors or so.”“Come OOOOON!” The janitor whines! “Just, like, scootch over a bit, Stan!”Hmmm, you reply as you rub your chin in mock contemplation, you’ll definitely think about it!“”Hate to interrupt,” Sybil interrupts, “But take a look over there!”Following her pale finger, you find yourself staring at some kind of DOORWAY–its entrance lit by an unfamiliar jumble of glowing runes!“Hmmm,” Art remarks as the golems march onwards and upwards, “You think it leads to one of those old labs the witch was talking about?”“Perhaps…” Sybil muses as she floats at your side. “Well what are we waiting for?” Talbot wheezes as he wipes a few beads of sweat from his red hair, “Let’s check it out! It’s gotta be better than climbing for a few more hours!”“Sure,” Art counters, “Unless it leads to a bunch of DEMONS.”Before anyone can reply, an unearthly cacophony of otherworldly shrieks emanate from the pit below. Peering downwards, you can’t spot anything off the bat, but the sounds don’t lie, man… the sounds don’t lie!“That’s it:” Talbot huffs, “Either one of you jerks makes some room for me or we duck into that gate. I ain’t makin’ it the rest of the way on foot!”Man, what a BABY! Weighing your options, you decide to:>CONTINUE CLIMBING, BUT MAKE ROOM ON A GOLEM (YOURS? ART’S?)>DUCK INTO THE LAB(?) ENTRANCE!>SEE IF THE GOLEMS CAN FLY YOU UP TO THE RIGHT FLOOR!>STAN YOUR GROUND AND FACE THE DEMONS!>WRITE-IN!
>>5309882>>STAN YOUR GROUND AND FACE THE DEMONS!
>>5309882>CONTINUE CLIMBING, BUT MAKE ROOM ON A GOLEM (YOURS? ART’S?)Fine, he can ride our golem, gosh! Why does that dork wear a track-suit anyway? We gotta keep moving, though. We only have so much time until Ernesto and Vivaldi become demonic vessels. The more ground we cover, the better.
If a bit goes by and nobody else has voted just consider me switched to >>5309884
>>5309898i'll support this
>>5309884>STAN YOUR GROUND!>>5309898>>5309990>CLIMB, DAMN YOU!Looks like we're making room for Talbot and keeping up the pace! Writing!
No time for sightseeing, you bark as you watch a pack of vaguely-humanoid shapes skittering towards you from below like cockroaches! “Yea,” Ly adds as he pokes his ASTRAL SKULL out of your body for a better look, “an’ based on our first impression wit’ da’ one in charge around here, I ain’t so keen on seein’ what they used ta’ be experimentin’ on…”Your thoughts exactly. As the golems shift into a higher gear of robotic shuffling, Talbot’s huffing, puffing form struggles to keep up!“W-WAIT!” He whines, keeping an exceptionally-good pace despite his clear fatigue, “W-what about me?”What about him, you counter from the safety of Ernesto’s shoulders. Dude’s got a tracksuit, doesn’t he? He can… run track, or something!Talbot looks at you as if you just punted his puppy off of a freeway overpass. “B-b-but I c-carried you-Before anyone can respond, you feel a brief stinging pain on your cheek as an orb of BURNING-HOT ENERGY whizzes past your head from below! Hitting the ramp above, you and your team teeter from side to side like actors in a campy sci-fi show as the entire chamber is rocked by a massive explosion!“FIREBALL!” Sybil announces as you shield your head from a shower of molten rubble sinking towards you menacingly! “... Yes, now would be a very good time to leave.”Ducking to avoid another salvo of fireballs, Art lets out a resigned sigh before reaching out to help Talbot onto Vivaldi!“Alright, man–just hang on tight, alri-”Woah, WOAH, WOAAAAH, you snarl as you bat Art’s hand away from your fellow janitor, you were just kidding, man! You’ll take Talbot! You uh, you guess!“You… you sure?” Art asks, glancing between you and the red-haired guy panting next to you, “It’s cool, Stan–I-”Yep, mhm, great point, you sputter as you hurriedly motion for Talbot to hop on, but uh…look, just get up here, man!“Uh… alright.” Still puzzled by what just unfolded, Art and Syb continue ahead amidst a fresh shower of rubble from above! Climbing onto Ernesto next to you, your ex-bodyguard gives you an appraising look before pointing forward.“Well don’t just gawk--let’s go!”You aren’t gawking, sheesh! Tapping Ernesto on the side of his head, you nearly slip off as the golem lurches forward with renewed speed! Catching you mid-tumble, Talbot wordlessly helps you back up with his hand as he watches the DEMONS approaching from below.“Watch your head, alright?”Nodding at his mumbled warning, you hang on for dear life as your golems rush up the ramp!>CONTD.
>>5310133Turns out hanging on for dear life isn’t necessary, though–Ernesto and Vivaldi’s idea of a ‘rush’ turns out to be a slightly faster speed walk, much to your displeasure. Still better than walking yourself!“If this keeps up we won’t have any more ramp to climb!” Art laments as he draws that HOMING STAFF he picked up from the museum! Tell us something we DON’T know!Peering over the ledge, you duck another fireball and prepare for some defensive offense…What’s the plan?>EYE LASER THEM ALL! BUST SOME WALLS, TOO, SO THEY CAN’T CLIMB AS EASY!>HAVE SYB FREEZE THEM AND THEIR PATH!>YOU GOT RUBBLE–THEY GOT TROUBLE! BACKUUM SOME OF IT DOWN AT THEM WHILE TALBOT CHUCKS SOME TOO!>ART’S GOT THAT HOMING STAFF–BLAST ‘EM WITH SYB!>SEE IF YOU CAN’T BACKUUM A FIREBALL! THAT WOULD BE NEAT!>WRITE-IN!
That's all for tonight, by the way--got plans Monday as well, so expect updates EARLY MONDAY OR SOME TIME AROUND 3-4PM PST! Thanks for playing and hope to see you then!
>>5310135>SEE IF YOU CAN’T BACKUUM A FIREBALL! THAT WOULD BE NEAT!Too awesome not to try.
>>5310135>>SEE IF YOU CAN’T BACKUUM A FIREBALL! THAT WOULD BE NEAT!
>>5310135>SEE IF YOU CAN’T BACKUUM A FIREBALL! THAT WOULD BE NEAT!
>>5310217>>5310239>>5310254>>5310260Looks pretty unanimous and I'm just about to go to bed, so here comes the moment you might have been waiting for!ROLL ME 1d100-5 (+5 BUNNY SUIT, -10 FOR SPEEDY, EXPLODY TARGET) TO RETURN A FIREBALL TO SENDER! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!And with that I'll see ya later on Monday, folks.
>>5310133>SEE IF YOU CAN’T BACKUUM A FIREBALL! THAT WOULD BE NEAT!Was there ever any other choice?
Rolled 58 - 5 (1d100 - 5)>>5310306Yeet
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5310306
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5310306
>>5310323>>5310376>>5310506>HIGHEST ROLL: 94!>>5310376>69 :^)Writing! Got some plans later, so bigger updates might have to happen on Tuesday! We'll see what happens, though!
As Art and Syb unload magical bolts from their staves and hands respectively, you prepare to give the approaching demons a free sample of their own medicine! Shoving an irate Talbot out of the way and drawing your trusty BACKUUM 1000 from your pockets, you don the pack’s straps as if you’ve worn them every day of your life… you might as well have what with all the bone dust you’ve vacuumed up for the last few years!“Eyes on da’ prize, cupcake!” Ly barks as Lil’ Stanley retreats to a safe distance. Taking his advice to heart, you brace yourself as you flick on the pack’s power–though Ernesto continues to move at a very determined snail’s pace, you still find it difficult to keep your balance even with those BONEUSES you picked up! As the cleaning tool roars to life on your back, you nearly topple off the golem when you feel something clasp around your shoulders!“Sheesh Stan…” Talbot mutters, trying his best to avoid eye contact as he holds you steady, “Ya trying to crack your head again, or what?”You’re gonna crack his head if he tries anything funny, you counter as you feel your cheeks warm up a bit! Now hold me steady, damn it!There’s no time for practice here–leaping from wall to wall like crickets on a sugar rush, you finally get a closer look at your demonic pals! Where there once was mere bone and high-tech lab gear is now flesh–and lots of it! It ain’t exactly the healthy variety, though–covered in pulsating boils filled with hissing, steaming bile and fluids and razor-sharp bristles of hair, it clings to the owner’s skeleton like someone spilled a casserole on them! Climbing rapidly thanks to uneven muscles and curved, scythe-like claws and tendrils bursting from any hunk of flesh they can find, the demons close the gap with murderous intent!One small problem, though: in their clear desire to tear you into shredded janitor, the brutes failed to notice what you’re holding! So much so that when one of them forms a ball of burning energy in their claw and chucks it your way, you take your chance and run with it! With a triumphant roar, the BACKUUM snatches the magical projectile up just in time for you to switch to ‘blow’ mode and send it hurtling back at them!As the infernal aggressors dart out of the way of the fireball, one of them watches in shock as it realizes what you were really aiming for! Tough though it might be, a particularly-big hunk of wall didn’t try to dodge at all! And once that fireball hits it, well…Your efforts are rewarded with a wave of hot water rushing past your face as a huge explosion rocks the ramps below you! The demons that weren’t caught in the blast aren’t so lucky when the debris heads their way, and despite Vivaldi and Ernesto’s complete and utter lack of urgency in their gait, your little trick puts some distance between you and the demons! Go you!>CONTD.
>>5310877“Well,” Sybil remarks as she tags a straggling demon with an ARCANE BOLT, “That certainly could have ended worse.”“Yea…” Talbot remarks as he stealthily removes his hands from your shoulders. Resisting the urge to flick his forehead this time, you keep your BACKUUM on as you survey the damage.“What the heck is that?” Following where Art points, you notice something that wasn’t there before: where there was once nothing but smooth, dark wall is now a passage, thanks to a convenient hunk of flying rubble! Before you can stop her, Sybil BLINKS over to the new passage and peers into the darkness with renewed curiosity!“See anything?!” Art shouts as he keeps his HOMING STAFF trained on the crack.“Maybe!” Sybil replies with a hint of excitement in her voice! “It appears to be a TEST CHAMBER, but I can’t tell what for!”“Well think about it later, alright?” The Rent-A-Cop replies as he gives you an exasperated shrug. “We’re on borrowed time here, Syb–don’t want our pals to start puking pea soup onto us or something!”“I… I think I see some kind of MIRROR!” Sybil shouts, either not hearing Art or just not caring. “And some debris–-come help, Stan! Talbot!”As Art shoots you a pleading look, you contemplate your options. If what IZZIE said was true, you could probably still reach the TOTEM from one of these dilapidated labs… but this maintenance shaft was pretty sweet up until the demon attack… choices…Taking one more look at the empty (for the time being) shaft below, you ultimately decide to:>CHECK OUT THE MIRROR LAB! SURELY NOTHING COULD GO WRONG THERE!>KEEP MOVING! THE DEMONS MIGHT COME BACK AT ANY MOMENT!>LEAVE SYB TO CHECK IT OUT WHILE YOU PRESS ONWARD–(DO YOU LEAVE ANYONE WITH HER?)>WRITE-IN!
>>5310881>CHECK OUT THE MIRROR LAB! SURELY NOTHING COULD GO WRONG THERE![DESIRE TO KNOW MORE INTENSIFIES]
>>5310881>>CHECK OUT THE MIRROR LAB! SURELY NOTHING COULD GO WRONG THERE!What could possibly go wrong?
>>5310881>CHECK OUT THE MIRROR LAB! SURELY NOTHING COULD GO WRONG THERE!Do I smell a mirror match?
>>5310881>CHECK OUT THE MIRROR LAB! SURELY NOTHING COULD GO WRONG THERE!
>>5310947>>5310959>>5311275>>5311499>MIRROR, MIRROR, ON THE WALL...Writing!
As fun as riding golems is, you find yourself hopping off of Ernesto and scampering over towards The Goth with your raccoon reluctantly in tow! Sorry Art, you reply with a ‘what-can-ya-do’ shrug, once Syb gets in a mood like this ya can’t really stop her!“You can say that again,” Art replies dreamily as he gives her a wistful glance from beneath his helmet. “Err, I mean… yea. Fine. Whatever.”Joining you in the brand-new entrance, Talbot and Art stick by your sides and scan the room like bodyguards while Ernesto and Vivaldi cover the rear! From what you can tell, you’re standing in some sort of hallway lined with what used to be doors, but are now just piles of ancient rubble. Further down sits an airlock in remarkably decent condition–maybe an exit when things inevitably go south? Sybil, in typical Sybil fashion, is already salivating over the remains of another colossal bulkhead, or rather what’s behind it.“There, see? Just beyond the debris.” Gently pushing you over to where she was standing, Sybil points your head at a crack in the pile of stone, metal, and other tough-looking materials you can’t recognize. You’re not, like, a buildologist, alright!?She’s not wrong, though–peeking through the crevice, you spot what she was so excited about: fastened to a wall lined with sheets of some kind of metal sits a massive oval-shaped MIRROR– its impeccably black center rhythmically rippling like the surface of a lake!“See?!” Sybil hisses as she vibrates with excitement! “Can you even begin to imagine what it was used for?”Yea, you frown, DEMONS. As you mention the hard ‘D’ word, a spine-chilling current sweeps through the waters around you. Huh. Must be high-tide or something.>CONTD.
>>5311712“I know it doesn’t happen often, but I’m with Stan on this one,” Art adds in a surprised tone. “Should we be keeping our eyes on the prize?”“Our prize is us playing directly into that holier-than-thou fossil’s gnarled old hands!” Sybil snarls as Vivaldi and Ernesto watch in what you can only assume is their version of excitement. “She sent us on a suicide mission with minimal information–why shouldn’t we see what she what kind of things we’re dealing with?”“Yea, well,” Talbot grumbles, “I don’t speak Albanian, so how the hell are we supposed to tell between the ‘Puppies For Everyone’ and ‘Kill the World’ buttons, huh?”“When Stanley interfaced with an Atlantean Monolith, it immediately learned and translated all of its functions into English.” Sybil explains as she begins systematically moving small bits of rubble with a telekinetic hand. “Why would this device be any different?”“Alright, alright…” Talbot nods, “But what about passwords and stuff?”“We’ll figure them out!” Sybil retorts, rapidly losing patience! “Since when did you become so cautious anyways?”“Hey, still otters run deeds, alright?” Replies the janitor with matched frustration! “I’m more complex than I look!”Hey, if anyone’s gonna fight with Talbot it’s YOU! That said, you should probably try to nip this in the bud, huh?What’s the plan?>CLEAR OUT THE RUBBLE AND CHECK OUT THE MIRROR LAB!>TOO RISKY, BUT THAT EXIT AT THE END OF THE HALL COULD BE USEFUL!>WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER LABS?>NAH, LET’S GO BACK TO THE MAINTENANCE RAMP THING!>WRITE-IN!
>>5311713> Write inLet's have Vivaldi clear the rubble in the lab and Syb can take a look while the rest of us and Ernesto can continue upward. V will keep Syb safe, Syb can catch up fast with blinks and Vivaldi can catch up on his own....If Syb promises to not geek out and lose track of time.
>>5311733Counter-offer: She and Vivaldi check out that mirror lab while the rest of us go down the hall to see if that possible exit is as good as it looks. It shouldn’t take us long, and we’ll be relatively nearby.
If a while goes by and nobody has voted just switch me to >>5311733
>>5311872No no, I think you've got the better idea. I'm just anxious about Ernesto and Vivaldi's sudden but inevitable betrayal.
>>5311883Alright. We’ll roll with >>5311842 then.
>>5311733>>5311842>>5311872>>5311883>>5312053>BOTH VERY GOOD IDEAS BUT ULTIMATELY GOING WITH SYB AND VIVALDI CHECK THE LAB WHILE THE OTHER IDIOTS SEARCH THE EXITWriting!
Stepping in between your two pals, you ask them why they can’t, like, colonize, or something?“What, like space?” Talbot asks in a confused tone. “I mean… I always did wanna become an astronaut-”“Ah, you meant ‘compromise’, didn’t you, Stanley?” Sybil asks with renewed patience. Yea, you nod, that one!“Fine.” The Goth replies as she crosses her arms. “Just remember that we probably won’t get a chance like this again–once the press learns of this place, we-”Chin up, buttercup, you interrupt, she’s cleared to check out the lab! Just don’t-Before you can finish, your ears are assaulted by a high-pitched shriek-one that rattles you to your very soul!Oh wait… Syb’s just excited.“YES! Yes, Stanley, I’ll follow whatever you say to the letter, don’t you worry about that!”… do that, you conclude as you and Art share a wary glance. As you turn back to continue, you find the rabid geek already feverishly carving away at the rubble with her RADIANT BLADE!“You, uh, you need any help, er… babe?” Art asks in an uncertain voice. Receiving a noncommittal grunt in response, your team watches Sybil go for a few moments before coming to the same conclusion:“We can’t leave her alone.” Art remarks, watching his beau tear away at the rubble like a dog trying to catch a squirrel that ran under the house, “She’s sweet and all, but I’m worried she might accidentally switch on another apocalypse.”He’s right–BONES AND MAYBE DEMONS QUEST just doesn’t roll off the tongue, does it?“An’ we’re pretty starved fer’ players already!” Ly adds!“So who’s stickin’ around, then?” Talbot asks, prompting Art to confidently strut forward!“Well if we’re taking volunteers, the-”Not this time, prick! He wants to be VICE OFFICER, he has to act the part! That means backing up THE BIG CHEESE!“Aw man,” The Rent-A-Cop whines as you all dodge some rubble chucked to the side by Syb, “Do I HAVE to?”Yes, you nod, he has to. Besides, you continue, you already chose her backup!“Oh no,” Art mutters as fear creeps into his voice, “Y-you’re not leaving her with… him, are you?”Following his frightened gaze over to Talbot as he spins Lil’ Stanley around in his hands like a happy father playing with his fuzzy child, you respond to Art’s question with a disgusted glare! Of course not, you snarl! You’re comically-inept, not a buffoon! >CONTD.
>>5312192“Oh good.” The security goon sighs as relief creeps into his voice, “I mean, I don’t know why I’d be worried what with you guys… uh…”Art’s voice trails off as something in your gaze changes. What about us, you ask in a grave tone.“Y’know…” Art mutters as he cautiously steps through a verbal minefield, “You uh… you two just… vibe well together… being, uh… janitors and all.”Oh! Well he’s not wrong there, you nod as you watch Lil’ Stanley pounce on the janitor’s face. Except for the name, that is–you’re EVENING SANITATION COORDINATORS, dumbass!“R-right…” Art nods as he gently smacks his hand against his mask-covered forehead. “Totally slipped my mind.”Well anyways, you continue in a chipper tone, you have your volunteer already! Snapping your fingers a few times, it takes a few tries before you realize your golems aren’t programmed to follow your usual means of summoning people. Calling to Vivaldi, you can’t help but grin a bit as the stone servant trudges over and awaits your command. You could get used to this!“The golem, huh?” Art asks, tapping his foot in thought. “Guess it could work.”He guesses right, you growl, because you chose it! Pointing Vivaldi in Syb’s direction, you order him to protect Sybil and help her out! With nary a nod or a response, the sentry immediately gets to work vaporizing rubble with a ray of light shooting out from where his eye is! Seeing his comrade get to work, Ernesto looks your way expectantly. Don’t worry, bud, you’ve got work for him, too!Turning your attention back towards the raccoon attack in progress on the ground, you break it up by giving Talbot’s writhing form a few light nudges with your boot. Get up, dork, you grunt, you’re going on an adventure.“Ngh,” Grunts your ex-bodyguard as he slowly peels Lil’ Stanley off of his scratched-up face, “What uh… where are we goin’?”Over there, you reply, jabbing a finger towards the bulkhead at the end of the hallway. Motioning for Ernesto and Art to follow, the latter pauses for a moment to wave to the still-digging Goth. “Hang tight, Syb! We’re checking out the exit!”“Mhm! Yep! SUPER!”Letting his waving hand fall back to his side, the Rent-A-Cop falls into the group with a ‘hokay then…’ under his breath.Good ole’ crazy Sybil!>CONTD.
>>5312197“So,” Art mutters as Lil’ Stanley scratches idly at the foot of the exit door, “Any clue on how to open it?”You respond with a shrug–you could always blow it up, right?“What about da’ DEMONS?” Ly asks, earning one of your patented eyerolls in response! You dunno, you snarl, you didn’t really think that far ahead, okay!? Giving the door a solid kick, you manage to hurt your toe and startle Lil’ Stanley in one move! Scampering up your leg and into your pocket with a menacing hiss, the raccoon watches with bristled hair and wide-eyed interest as you and the others contemplate the current puzzle.“Jeez, these dumbasses couldn’t even put a button on here or something?” Talbot growls as he stoops down to look at the empty receptacle for a MAGIC ORB next to the door. “Stupid magic. Stupid Atlantis…” Turning to face Ernesto, the tracksuited-terror stares at the golem with irritation in his eyes. “And you guys! What, they didn’t program you to open doors or something?”As if waiting for the magic word, Ernesto dutifully stomps forwards before jamming his hand into the receptacle next to the door. With a faint fizzle of energy, the golem’s eye flickers a bit as a small sphere is born from his outstretched hand! Watching in awe, you and the others are taken aback as a series of lights trail over the door before it opens with a low, drawn-out metallic groan!“Alright,” Talbot quietly remarks as you try to get a glimpse of what’s on the other side, “Not bad, man.”Still operating the door, Ernesto stares at your fellow janitor in what you can only imagine is a ‘Told-Ya-So’ kind of way. Before you can relay the meaning to Talbot, however, you find out what lies beyond the door… and why it was closed in the first place!“Flesh…” Art hisses as thin strands of mottled, diseased meat rip apart with the door like pieces of rotten bubblegum, “l-lots…”Lots is right. The tunnel beyond the door is caked with it–hairs, eyes, writhing appendages. Judging by what isn’t covered, you wager this was some kind of rapid-transit tunnel, albeit with footpaths to the left and right. Speaking of feet, you’re just about to venture outside when you hear a couple trundling just outside in a drunken, arrhythmic gait!“SEcreEETS SEeeCrREETS AAAaAaRrrRE NO FUUUUuUnN…” Sings a trio of slurring voices similar to those ‘talking dog’ videos you used to watch on MeTube, “SEeegrRETS ARRE FerREVEROOONE!”Maintaining the magical orb, Ernesto looks at you just as you hear a shrill scream ring out from where you left Syb!“STAN!” Art hisses through his mask, “That sounded like Sybil!”With no time to waste, you opt to…>AMBUSH THE APPROACHING DEMON(S?)!>HIGH-TAIL IT BACK TO SYBIL! NO TIME TO WASTE!>MAKE SURE ERNESTO CLOSES THE DOOR FIRST, THEN HEAD BACK!>WRITE-IN!
>>5312201>>MAKE SURE ERNESTO CLOSES THE DOOR FIRST, THEN HEAD BACK!
>>5312201>MAKE SURE ERNESTO CLOSES THE DOOR FIRST, THEN HEAD BACK!
>>5312235>>5312248>CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR FIRST!You got it! ROLL ME 1d100+15 (+5 BUNNY SUIT, +10 PLENTY OF BACKUP!) TO MAKE SURE NOTHING SLIPS IN! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 58 + 15 (1d100 + 15)>>5312325
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5312325Shut the door shut the door shut the door
Waiting on one more roll, but it's getting late so I'll be writing the update WEDNESDAY AROUND 10-11AM PST! See you then, hopefully!
Rolled 39 + 15 (1d100 + 15)>>5312325
>>5312327>>5312479>>5312493>HIGHEST ROLL: 93!Writing! Going out around noon for a little bit, so don't be surprised if there's a lull in updates.
Switching your BACKUUM to the ‘GALE FORCE’ setting, you order Ernesto to shut the damn door–was he raised in a barn or something?! Blinking in acknowledgement, the golem reaches its hand out once more and begins siphoning the orb back into his body!Hearing the demon’s plodding footsteps grow closer, you shift your attention to Art and order him to go check on Sybil!“Roger!” He barks before charging down the hall towards where you came from! Turning to give Talbot instructions, you find him and Lil’ Stanley parked in front of the door ready to scrap! That’s the spirit! As your BONE ARMOR forms over your body, you grit your teeth as you spot a fleshy tendril whip around the corner towards the door!“WhhAAT aAaARE yYOUu HIDDINGG??” Laughs a voice from beyond the door! Not keen on answering, you give Ernesto a hard glare as it finishes sucking up the remaining magic! As quickly as it opened, the door groans shut once more, sealing away the evil outside!Well, almost. In the split second before it closes completely, a bouquet of tentacles covered in lamprey-like mouths and glowing yellow eyes dart through the remaining crack! Though they’re severed in the door nigh-instantaneously, you hear something big slam against the door from the outside! Not taking any chances, you, Ernesto, Talbot, and Lil’ Stanley get to work stomping the life out of the severed tentacles, filling your end of the hall with pitiful wails and making a huge mess in the process! Good thing you’re an EVENING SANITATION COORDINATOR… and it’s an even gooder thing you DON’T WORK HERE!Ernesto does, however, and as he dutifully disintegrates the remains with his COOL EYE RAY THING, the commotion outside the gate starts to die down!“HhHheeeHheeHEEE, the demon(s?) croon, “I KKNow AnnOTHerrrrWaaYY….”With that disconcerting farewell, whatever was pounding on the door slithers away… hopefully towards a very long shortcut. Satisfied with the fact that you aren’t dead yet, you motion for your team to follow you as you jog towards Art and Syb!… okay, you’re kinda tired, actually, so you end up walking instead. With purpose, though! Honest!>CONTD.
>>5313166Finding the rubble cleared from the lab entrance, you don’t waste any time letting yourself in! Skidding around the corner so that it looks like you ran the whole way, you immediately pop your BONE CLAWS and prepare for a fight!What you get, however, is something else entirely.“Stan!” Art observes as he keeps his HOMING STAFF pointed at what appears to be some kind of BUBBLE DOME in the corner of the lab, “Perfect timing!”“M-MORE humans?!” exclaims a shrill voice from behind a stack of cube-shaped storage containers housed within the dome, “Just my luck…”Cautiously creeping into the dome, you immediately notice what Art’s aiming at–behind another monolith console and several stacks of cubes you make out a bit of red fabric! Syb, you call out in a wary tone, are you good?“Mhm! Sure!”In all your haste you didn’t even spot Sybil on the other end of the room. Inspecting the massive MIRROR from top to bottom, the girl barely registers your presence… or that of the mysterious lurker inside the dome.So wait, you mutter as you keep your eyes on the shuffling figure behind the cubes, who screamed a minute ago anyways?“They did.” Art explains in a slightly-miffed tone as he points towards the fabric again. “When I came in Syb was still geeking out over the mirror, so…”To his credit, Vivaldi stands at Art’s side ready for a scrap. Releasing a drawn-out, irritated breath, you instruct the stalker to come out already as Talbot picks up a nearby cylindrical canister of… magic, maybe? “Damn it all… can’t concentrate with all of this pressure…” The voice mutters as the red fabric shifts a bit. “J-just one moment, please! A-and if you have any magic-resisting items, please remove them… now how did that Head Explosion spell go again…”As cool as it would be to watch someone’s head explode, you’re not about to let it happen to you! Oh, or your pals. Nope. Turning your attention to Vivaldi, you order the golem to FETCH!“Nono… OVERRIDE CODE TZET, NANAR, KHETT! Override! OVERRIDE!”Ignoring the voice’s orders, the golem stomps into the dome and plucks the fabric’s owner from behind the cubes like a gardener plucking a weed. What he retrieves, however, is unlike any weed you’ve ever seen!>CONTD.
>>5313172“No! NOOOOO!” Picked up by the scruff of his neck, the voice’s owner is revealed with all the grace of a cat being picked up by its owner! “Damn her--did she change the ciphers again?! UGH! That is so CLASSIC her!”Dangling from Vivaldi’s massive hand is a skeleton wrapped in a large, red cloak, but they look nothing like the bones you’ve seen in the last few days! Coated in a liquid metal sheen, the intruder’s bones seem longer than a normal human’s… almost as if they were a totally different species! As Vivaldi brings the skeleton over to you, you find yourself being glared at by two glowing yellow orbs from within the cloak’s red hood. Whoever the hell this is, they ain’t happy.“Primitives,” he scoffs, turning his face away from you in disdain, “I should have known… as if the containment breach wasn’t enough…”“Watch it, bonehead,” Talbot warns as he brandishes the cylinder at the skeleton, “And don’t even think of tryin’ to cast a spell or anything!”“Trust me, if I could cast right now I would!” The skeleton snaps! “But since you haven’t smashed me to pieces yet I assume you aren’t here to steal my research…” His glowing eyes narrow a bit. “... unless you are...”First thing’s first, you snarl, still wrapped in your BONE ARMOR, who the hell is he anyways?“Yea,” Art nods, “And what the heck are you doing down here?”“Tch, typical primitives...” The skeleton scoffs as he continues to dangle from Vivaldi’s hand like a particularly grim Christmas Tree ornament, “One second they’re bashing your door down, the next they’re asking for your name...”Yep, you nod, he summed that up pretty well! Now talk, you spit, or you’ll feed him to your PET! “Pet? Wh-oh. Oh dear…” Fear grips the skeleton’s glowing eyes as he notices the snarling, feral critter perched on your shoulder. “V-very well, then… I,” he begins with renewed confidence in his voice, “am APPRENTICE SCHOLAR TEEVOR–LEAD RESEARCHER OF ‘PROJECT LOOKING GLASS’... well,” he pauses, “ACTING LEAD RESEARCHER…”‘Teevor’, huh? That rings a bell, you mutter, but you don’t know which one…“As for your second question,” Teevor continues in a haughty tone, “I was HIDING. As primitive as your senses are, I assume you understand there’s a STATION-WIDE LOCKDOWN underway, yes?”“Wow,” Art remarks as he glances around the lab, “Really?”“Yes, really.” Teevor spits, not picking up on the sarcasm. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d really like to get back to not being found. Demons prey on those with weak, stressed-out minds, so please do us all a favor and go away. After putting me down, if you please.”You’ll think about it!>CONTD.
>>5313175“Ah yes, thinking...” Teevor groans with increasing impatience, “Good idea, primitive. You really ought to do that more often–you might even learn something…”“You’re gonna learn my fist in your FACE if you keep that attitude up!” Talbot snarls as he wiggles the cylinder in the skeleton’s face!“Yes, w-wait a minute…” Teevor mutters with renewed interest, “Is that… no, it can’t be…”Yea, hold onto that thought, you growl as your armor retracts back into your tooth, because you’ve got a lot of questions for him!“I’m sure you d-w-wait a minute…” Staring at your unarmored form, the researcher’s voice dies mid-sentence. “N-no… th-that ALSO can’t be…”It CAN be, bitch! Now quit interrupting for a sec! Taking a moment to check on Syb, you’re satisfied to find her still pouring over the mirror and muttering to herself like a mad woman. Good, you nod, that means you’ve got some time on your hands!What do you ask this creep anyways? YOU PROBABLY HAVE TIME FOR UP TO 3 QUESTIONS RIGHT NOW… WOMEN’S INTUITION!>DOES HE KNOW WHERE THAT TOTEM IS? YOU’RE TRYING TO FIND IT!>WHAT DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE SEA WITCH?>WHY IS HE SO SURPRISED BY YOU?>WHAT’S GOT HIM BOTHERED ABOUT TALBOT?>THIS MIRROR THING… WHAT IS IT?>WHAT DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE COLLECTOR OF SECRETS?>ACTUALLY, YOU’RE JUST GONNA KILL HIM NOW. BYE!>WRITE-IN!
>>5313177>WHAT’S GOT HIM BOTHERED ABOUT TALBOT?>THIS MIRROR THING… WHAT IS IT?>WHAT DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE COLLECTOR OF SECRETS?
>>5313177>>WHAT’S GOT HIM BOTHERED ABOUT TALBOT?>>THIS MIRROR THING… WHAT IS IT?>>WHAT DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE COLLECTOR OF SECRETS?
>>5313425>>5313427>>5313443>TALBOT?>MIRRORS?>DEMONS?Pretty much unanimous, so les' WRITE! Might be a little slower than usual--just got back from the gym and I'm a little sore.
You’ve got a few ideas for what you wanna ask, of course, but when you open your mouth to say ‘em, you’re skillfully interrupted by your new… ‘pal’.“You there–the one holding the VERY volatile RAW MAGIC STORAGE CYLINDER like a cudgel.”“Huh?” Talbot asks, blinking as if he had just woken up, “Yea, whaddaya want?”“To start I’d very much appreciate it if you put it down…” Teevor requests in a remarkably calm tone. “Those containers are designed to be transported, of course, but excessive force could prove to be very… unfortunate... for all of us.”Shrugging at the request, your fellow janitor gingerly places the canister back onto the ground with one of his metallic tentacles, much to the skeleton’s excitement.“Impressive articulation…” he mutters as if taking notes in his head, “nigh-complete synchronization, as well… tell me, ogre: where did you acquire this ERUMITE SYMBIOSIS of yours?”Talbot responds with a puzzled frown. “Eru-what-what?”“ERUMITE, you dolt.” The scientist groans. “The reactive metallic alloy charged with RAW MAGIC and tuned to the user for increased mobility, defense, and magical aptitude. Do they still teach humans on the surface?”Before he can get his answer, a familiar pale-faced and very sweaty girl blinks into existence next to Art with manic eyes and disheveled hair! “BACK! Oh, a skeleton! What did I miss?”“He was just talking about T’s GOODBOYNIUM thing,” Art explains as The Goth quickly readjusts her bangs. “And how it-”“Goodboynium?” Teevor growls in growing disbelief, “GOODBOYNIUM?! What manner of idiotic name is that!? Related to that insipid corporation, no doubt…”Yep, you nod, the same kooks who turned Talbot into a walking death machine!“Most interesting…” The scientist mutters to himself, “So humans have already synthesized ERUMITE… that’s distressing…”“Wait a sec…” Talbot mutters, his frown growing even more puzzled, “So that GOODBOYNIUM crap… you guys came up with it!?”“No, idiot, nature did.” The skeleton counters. “But ERUMITE CONDITIONING is a standard rite of passage for all Atlanteans–like losing your primitive ‘baby teeth’ or dying of heart failure.That said, however,” He continues with renewed curiosity, “WE’re the only ones who were able to perfect an intravenous solution–given our new forms we switched over to simple immersion, of course, but you… you achieved something greater than us…”Leaning forward in Vivaldi’s grip, the scientist’s glowing eyes bore into Talbot’s confused face.“How?”>CONTD.
>>5313643“Uh…” Talbot replies, cleaning out his ear with his finger, “I’m sorry, wha?”“HOW!?” Teevor spits, swinging around in Vivaldi’s grasp as he claws at the janitor! “How did you do it?! Where did you manage to perfect such a synchronization!?”“Oh, right!” Talbot replies with a snap of his finger, “Yea, I got it from a special someon-err, place!” He stammers, looking away from you as you once again feel the heat rise in your freckled cheeks. “Yea, that’s right–it was a place. Now I remember.”“You know not the knowledge you hold!” Exclaims your captive! “The degree at which you’ve bonded with the ERUMITE… it’s nothing short of incredible! Why, with that much articulation and control, you could… you could…” The researcher pauses mid-rant and takes a few steadying breaths. “Ahem… as I was saying, primitive… where, erm, where did you find such a boon, hm?”“Crap,” Talbot frowns as he scratches his red-haired head, “What was it called? Something with a ‘U’, I think…”“U!” Teevor shouts excitedly, “Excellent, boy! Go on!”“Un? Uth?” The janitor continues, drawing out each syllable, “Up. Started with an up.”“Yes? YES?”“Ah! GOT IT.” Talbot exclaims with a toothy grin! “I got it from ‘UPDOG!”“What…” The skeleton hisses in confusion, “What is this… ‘Updog’ you speak of?”“Not much…” The janitor stammers while biting his lip, “Wh-SNRK-what’s up with YOU, man?!”And just like that the whole lab explodes with laughter! You, Ly, Art, Syb, hell, even Lil’ Stanley smiles a bit! It wasn’t perfect form, of course, but you gotta give the guy credit… you just gotta!“Cease your foolishness this instant!” Teevor angrily commands! “I demand to know what’s ‘Updog’ this instant!”“He…” Art sputters from behind his helmet, “he said it again…”“Accursed primitives!” Snarls the skeleton as your sides start to hurt, “Laugh now, for one day we shall know what’s ‘UPDOG’, and we will not soon forget this transgression–mark my words!”As the laughter dies down, you stagger over to Talbot and playfully nudge him on the shoulder–good… good answer, dude.“Damn right it was!” He replies with a snide laugh! “Alright, science bitch: WE’RE asking the questions now, so keep your craphole shut or I’ll clock ya’!”“Very well…” Hisses the skeleton, “But we’ll see who’s laughing once we learn what’s ‘Updog’!”Aaaand just like that you’re laughing again.>CONTD.
>>5313648Okay, you wheeze after several more minutes of unrelenting giggles, So… so this MIRROR here… what’s the deal?“This mirror’s ‘deal’,” Teevor sighs impatiently, “Is, or rather was, an answer to the eventual depletion of this dimension’s RAW MAGIC.” “Depletion?” Sybil asks, having fully recovered from her geek-out, “That would take eons, wouldn’t it?”“Finite is finite, primitive, and there are more factions than you can hope to comprehend that are fighting over it.” The skeleton explains with a scowl. “We don’t plan for tomorrow--we plan for eternity.”So the DEMON invasion… that’s all according to plan, huh?“Save your jokes, you dolt–even the most well-designed lab has its accidents.” Teevor counters with growing irritation. “To postpone the inevitable resource conflict, my superior-well, ex-superior Morkku-drafted a potential solution.”“The MIRROR!” Sybil guesses in a chipper tone!“Precisely.” Nods the captive. “As you are most likely not aware, there are nigh infinite planes of existence–some parallel to this one, most, well, perpendicular.”“You came from one of those, didn’t you?” Asks The Goth with renewed interest in her voice. “A log we listened to mentioned you were fleeing from something.”“Oh wonderful, now we’re leaving our logs out for primitives to enjoy…” Groans the skeleton in disbelief. “Yes, human, we did flee–I won’t bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that we, among several other research organizations, didn’t share certain beliefs with our home plane’s ruling body. Following a swift and brutal conflict, we were forced to retreat.”“So why are you still here?” Art asks. “Wouldn’t you rather be, I dunno, somewhere sunnier?”“Our people have always been acclimated to the water.” Teevor explains. “It keeps most pests away and provides excellent cooling for our equipment. The fauna tends to taste rather good as well, but I digress. PROJECT LOOKING GLASS was designed to locate and acquire specific resources without the need of a Telenavigator and copious amounts of magical energy.”Lemme guess, you interject, it didn’t work like they planned it.“No…” Teevor frowns as you feel his gaze burn into your face, “Not quite…” As his stare starts to wander into the ‘creepy’ territory, a flash of realization emerges on the researcher’s hooded face!“YOU!” He sputters as he suddenly jabs his bony finger in your direction, “YOU NEARLY COST ME EVERYTHING, MORDELIA!”The accusation nearly bowls you over! Ex… exsqueezeme?>CONTD.
>>5313651“I KNEW it! I KNEW I recognized your wretched face!”Swinging like a pendulum in Vivaldi’s grasp, Teevor resembles an angry pinata as your friends get between you and the irate mage!“Mordelia?” Talbot mutters as he lifts the cylinder into the air again, “What the hell are you talking about?”“Is…” Sybil begins in a hushed tone, “Is he talking about your LARP CHARACTER, Stanley?”“Wait…” The janitor sputters, “You… you LARP?”Uhhhh… whaaaa? What’s a ‘Larb?’ You’re uh… you’re so tired, heheh…“Yep,” Art nods, skillfully tearing apart your rock-solid defense, “She even poisoned me once.”“It all makes sense now…” Teevor snarls as he nods to himself, “First you deceive me into believing you’re a great warrior, then you and your cabal of Shadowblades sabotaged our facility allowing the COLLECTOR OF SECRETS to take over!”Alright, you didn’t do that, you counter, but-“I suppose this is all the work of that God you worship–the WARDEN OF THE JAGGED PLANES!”“Okay, can someone please tell me what the hell’s going on?” Pleads Talbot as he clutches the side of his head. “I’m so confused it’s starting to hurt, here!”“Allow me!” The Atlantean spits! “It was only a few cycles ago–I was still mortal, as was the rest of our facility. I was also a mere LAB ASSISTANT back then, and being on the bottom of the pecking order we assistants were the ones tasked with making expeditions to the world above!”“Why, though?” Art asks with a frown. “I thought you guys were supposed to be advanced.”“We are, naturally.” Deflects Teevor with a condescending wave! “But there are some things we can’t acquire down here, nor do we wish to expend valuable magical energy! Also, the senior researchers were total dicks, so that played into it a lot.”You and your pals nod knowingly. That is how it is…“To further test PROJECT LOOKING GLASS, our technicians located a specific target: one prime for induction into the BIO ENERGY PROGRAM: a human conduit capable of refining massive amounts of magical energy in their body.”“There we go again wit’ da WILD MAGIC, huh cupcake?” Ly remarks as a low snarl escapes your lips.Friggin’ magic!>CONTD.
>>5313652“It wasn’t my first expedition to the surface, but little did I know it’d be the last...” Teevor continues, unconcerned by your increased agitation. “Teleporting to the surface, I was immediately accosted by a band of fearsome warriors known as THE RED BRAND.”You and Sybil exchange awkward glances, neither of you willing to explain.“Powerful though they were, even a lowly LAB ASSISTANT such as myself had no trouble tracking down our target: the elusive MORDELIA RAVENSFIRE: Shadowblade, disgraced Mordic Nobility, and AVATAR OF THE WARDEN OF THE JAGGED PLANES!”“So wait…” Talbot interrupts, “Are you… are you sayin’ you made this all up?”Averting his gaze and his question, you instead cut to the chase–so ‘TREVOR’ was actually TEEVOR all along, huh?! The creep who took you below the boardwalk!?“What? Of course not!” Teevor replies in disbelief, “I was merely instructed to bring you back to our labs–you were the one who insisted on venturing below the boardwalk!”No way, you counter, you’d never do that… on the uh… on the first date!“Nope, you totally did.” Says the skeleton as he shakes his head. “You were all ‘hey babe, I know a place where we can get some PRIVACY...’ and then you winked. You winked quite a few times, I recall.”Y-yea, well, you stammer as you feel your friend’s eyes burning into you, h-he was the one w-who acted weird! Y-you remember that part!“Yes, at that point I determined that the mission was too risky to continue,” Teevor explains, “If I stayed any longer I risked jeopardizing our secrecy, not to mention you were becoming rather irritating. Had that brute not intervened, it wouldn’t have been a problem, but-”But he did, you interrupt with a triumphant laugh! Sue kicked your ass all the way back to Alabama!“Had I been able to concentrate he would have been a fine red slime strewn across the surf!” Teevor counters angrily! “But how was I supposed to focus with all of those insipid human larvae screeching and howling? And the vehicles! How do you even think through the constant noise!?”Heh, you snicker, guess humans really are incredible, aren’t they?“No…” The skeleton growls, “They most certainly aren’t.”>CONTD.
>>5313654“So,” Talbot interjects with growing annoyance, “Stan’s a huge dork and you got your ass kicked… there a point to all this?”“Having collected a sample of the target’s hair prior to my… encounter... with this foul creature’s guardian,” Teevor continues in a measured, but still miffed tone, “I was in a state of panic, so I aborted the mission and ordered my associates to teleport me back.”“And lemme guess:” Art sniffs, “That didn’t work out either, did it?”“No it didn’t…” The skeleton sighs. “Traveling between dimensions, I was buffeted by unexpected pandimensional turbulence and lost hold of my sample. By the time I emerged into the lab, it was already too late.”“What exactly do you mean, ‘too late’?” Sybil asks with a raised eyebrow.“I theorize that the lost sample landed in a nearby DEMONIC PLANE…” Teevor explains with growing trepidation in his voice. “Wherever it ended up, something followed me into the lab… something hungry.”You blink. THE COLLECTOR!“No, you idiot, not that.” Grumbles your captive, “THIS lockdown is just another product of incompetent teleporter technicians… that and our HIGH SCHOLAR’S stupid love affair with demon summoning…”“Yea, doesn’t seem like that good of an idea now, does it?” Art remarks as he glances around the lab.“Joke all you want–we’ve been researching and enthralling demons for ages. When done properly it’s safer than walking. As I was saying, however, the thing that followed me was not properly contained.”“So you’re saying it was a demon?” Sybil asks as she folds her arms across her chest. “What kind?”“A weak one, but a loose demon all the same.” Teevor replies. “Perhaps the hair sample had whet its appetite or maybe it was just curious, but whatever the reason, it had to be stopped. While it attacked my colleagues, I entered random coordinates into the project terminal, activated the mirror, and had one of the sentries throw it through the resulting portal.”“So it’s out there now?” Talbot grunts. “And it’s pissed?”Even worse, you add, it’s hungry for your HAIR?!“Don’t be ridiculous,” Teevor scoffs, waving away your question with his hand, “The demon is probably much larger now–if anything it will want to subsume your mind, body, and soul.” He blinks. “Not that the former would be of much sustenance…”Well great, you mutter to yourself, now you’ve got a hungry demon to worry about. Anyone else want a piece of Stan? Hm?The universe remains eerily silent.>CONTD.
>>5313656“I know it’s a little late now,” Art begins, “But why didn’t you guys just, y’know, try again?”“Look for yourself, primitive.” Teevor sighs as he gestures to the mirror at the end of the chamber. “In my haste to remove the demon, I opened the gate to an unstable dimension–one that tore apart the physical and magical connections SCHOLAR MORKKU crafted.”“Even worse,” he continues, “he and several other key team members died in the breach.” The mage casts a rueful glance at the mirror on the distant wall. “That device you see there is now little more than a fancy paperweight–a gaudy trinket in this tomb you wandered into.”“So it doesn’t function anymore?” Sybil asks, visibly deflating. “Drat.”“Not entirely, no…” Teevor shrugs, “But I can still attune it to certain SIGNALS… Though I suppose that makes it little more than a glorified antenna, and that’s nothing compared to the device at the center of the facility…”Hold on, you interrupt, when he says signals, he means like, what, RADIO?“Yes,” The skeleton nods somberly, “and some transdimensional contact as well, not that that’s any use.”“So we could theoretically contact other planes?” Sybil asks, hair bristled once more with excitement.“Sure, go nuts.” Teevor growls. “I can’t stop you. Hells, I can probably even help you if you just leave me alone afterwards.”“Interesting…” Sybil nods as you file that bit of info into the back of your mind. “That might come in handy, wouldn’t it, Stan?”It might, you grunt as you rub your chin in thought, it just might...>CONTD.
>>5313657One more thing, you add as you take a few steps towards your prisoner, what’s he know about THE COLLECTOR anyways?“What, is the name not clear enough?” Teevor counters with renewed venom in his voice. “It’s a Greater Demon of the Mind–one obsessed with obtaining and cataloging secrets. All of them.”“All of them?” Talbot repeats in disbelief.“ALL of them.” The captive nods. “Our security ciphers, the names of all the members of a royal family, the color of the HIGH SCHOLAR’S undergarments, hells, even the viscosity of a human’s blood when spilled with a burning hook. It aims to know and hoard each and every detail in every plane, I couldn’t tell you why, though.”“So what’s with all the fleshy crap, then?” Talbot asks as he glances towards the way you came in. “How’s he supposed to ask those guys any questions?“Yes, those would be the results of its experiments… well, that and the work of its thralls.” Teevor replies. “Imagine that you could keep and reuse one lab rat for eternity–that it couldn’t die no matter what you did to it. Imagine all of the experiments you could run on it and all of the potential side effects… that’s what those things out there are.” The mage hesitates for a moment. “... they used to be my colleagues, though.”“The HIGH SCHOLAR sent us to reset the device in the middle of the pyramid,” Art explains, “but how does that get rid of this demon?”“Oh good, I was beginning to think she had left us to rot…” Replies the skeleton. “Fearsome though they may be, demons aren’t physically… well, here in this plane. They’re mere projections of the demon’s presence–yes, even the one that followed me.”“So if we reset the device, we sever the connection?” Sybil asks, clearly taking mental notes.“It’s worked in the past, yes.” Teevor nods. “Unless, of course, the Greater Demon itself enters this plane. Then there’s only one thing left to do.”You lean in closer. Which is?“Find a quick and comfortable way to kill yourself.” The mage explains in a stern voice. “At that point it’d be akin to fighting the tide… or seismic activity.”“Wait a sec!” Talbot growls as he stomps forward, “What about that SEA DEMON out there, huh? He’s swimmin’ around like he owns the damn place!”“Ah yes, him.” Teevor chuckles. “Like I explained before, we utilize demons all the time–lesser demons, of course. Our HIGH SCHOLAR has a good relationship with one particular Greater Demon… she has what you might call a ‘deal’ with it.”“Hey cupcake, wanna make a bet?”You shake your head–you’ve got a feeling you’re both betting on the same thing.>CONTD.
>>5313659Man, you groan, would it kill him to be more specific?! What’s this demon’s name, huh?“True names are… dicey.” Teevor whispers as he glances around the lab. “They hold much power over demons, but the owner is quite aware when they’re used.”“Like when my ma used my full name when I was in trouble?” Talbot asks.“No,” Teevor growls, “Nothing like that. Stupid.”“Hey, at least I didn’t leave the door open for a friggin’ HAIR DEMON!” Talbot growls as he jabs his finger into the mage’s cloaked chest! “And where do you get of-”Before anyone else can get a word in, you’re interrupted by a rush of energy bursting from the mirror! Stumbling to the side, you and the others turn to find the mirror’s surface crackling with energy–its black ripples slowly morphing into orange waves!“What’s happening!?” Sybil shouts as both Ernesto and Vivaldi shudder in place!“Th…the mirror!” Teevor sputters as he struggles to break free of the golem’s grip, “It’s… there’s an incoming signal!”Scuttling over to the monolith, you smack your MAGIC PRISM against it a few times only to generate a mass of burning red alien text along the terminal’s surface! What the hell kind of operating system is this, anyways!?“The demon!” Shrieks the mage as he swings around by his cloak, “It’s entering the system!”And what an entrance! As the mirror and the wall it’s attached to sway side to side, a burst of ear-splitting static rings out across the lab! Covering your ears, you watch in horror as molten flesh bubbles and bursts through the ground and the walls!“What the hell do we do!?” Art shouts over the tempest forming around you!“You… you need to destroy it!” Teevor roars, pointing at the monolith next to him! “And if it establishes a connection, DON’T LISTEN TO IT!”As hairy tendrils burst forth from the ceiling, you find yourself frozen halfway to the terminal. Watching your friends and even the golems writhe under the sheer volume of the din coming from the mirror, you realize that what happens next all falls onto you!What do?>BUST THE TERMINAL, DON’T LET IT CONNECT!>STAND FIRM–LET’S SEE WHAT THIS FREAK WANTS!>RUN FOR IT WHILE THE DEMON’S DISTRACTED!>WRITE-IN!
>>5313661>>BUST THE TERMINAL, DON’T LET IT CONNECT!
>>5313662>BUST THE TERMINAL, DON’T LET IT CONNECT!Save Ernesto!
>>5313661>BUST THE TERMINAL, DON’T LET IT CONNECT!
>>5313662>>5313711>>5313752>BUST IT!Writing the last update of the night!
Before you know it, you’re on autopilot. Charging over the rapidly-bursting floor towards the monolith, your eye heats up in preparation for a blast! As you get into position, you notice Vivaldi’ seizing up in your peripheral vision-you can only assume Ernesto’s getting the same treatment.Feeling Lil’ Stanley’s claws dig into your shoulder, you brace yourself as a concentrated beam of pure energy bursts from your eye enveloping the monolith in a flash of blinding light! As you struggle to maintain your stance atop the ground shifting beneath you, you feel an unfamiliar voice tickle your ear with a playful whisper:“I know who you REALLY are…STANLEY…”And with that, the nightmare ends. Stumbling forward in confusion, you find yourself staring at the molten remains of the monolith terminal… and a perfectly normal lab. No busted walls, no freaky tentacles… it was as if you’d never gotten that call!“Did…” Art mutters, taking one last look around the room, “Did that do it?”“Yes,” Replies your captive mage as he hangs limp in Vivaldi’s grasp, “you did… but it knows you’re in here now, and that means this hiding place is no longer safe.”Looking at the remains of the console with one last somber sigh, the skeleton looks your way. “That maintenance shaft you blew open will take you to the BOTTOM of the ZAKHMET FREQUENCY RELAY… the waistworks where the majority of the RAW MAGIC is pumped in.”You frown. Still doesn’t get you to the control room, does it?“It does, but you’ll have to climb.” The mage adds. “And given what just happened, you’ll no doubt run into trouble along the way. Our security systems have been subverted by the demon, too, so watch out for those.”“Hold on,” Talbot grunts, “Why the hell are you helping us, again?”“If you die then the HIGH SCHOLAR will send someone else to finish the job.” Teevor explains. “And I’d prefer that it wasn't me, so why not give you some advice?”“Are there any other ways to the TOTEM?” Art asks, earning an irritated groan from the mage.“Totem. Cute. There is the exit down the hall, of course,” He explains, jabbing a bony, metallic finger towards where you went before, “if you follow the pedestrian walkway you’ll be taken directly to the DEVICE CONTROL LEVEL. There’s security there, of course, but you can manage. Probably.”>CONTD.
>>5313807The water around you grows colder as you and your friends exchange looks. Apparently no worse for wear, Vivaldi and Ernesto stand at attention… for the most part. Both golems twitch intermittently, but it’s too small of a detail to be worried about… but too noticeable to not consider.“And what do you plan on doing, exactly?” Sybil asks, placing her hands on her hips. “You did try to use spells on us.”“I plan on not dying again, thanks.” Teevor shrugs. “But that’s up to you, isn’t it?”Let’s say you let him go, you snarl. What happens next?“I track down a new hiding place and stay there until this all blows over.” Replies the captive. “Like I said–demons are skilled at worming their way into weak or stressed minds–I might spend the time reciting prime numbers… or solving some of MEDOL’S 100 RIDDLES–I’ve memorized them all, of course, but haven’t solved all of them… Bothersome.”Sounds like a blast, you remark as you turn your attention back towards your pals. A dull creak rings out across the lab ceiling prompting you to plan out your next move…QUESTION 1: WHAT ROUTE WILL YOU TAKE?>THE MAINTENANCE SHAFT! LONGER, BUT SAFER, MAYBE?>THE HALLWAY EXIT! MORE DIRECT, BUT MORE NASTY!>CHECK THE OTHER LABS–MAYBE THERE’S A SHORTCUT YOU OVERLOOKED?>HOLD ON–YOU WANNA ASK TEEVOR ONE MORE QUESTION!>WRITE-IN!QUESTION 2: WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH TEEVOR?>DUDE’S BAD NEWS. BETTER WASTE HIM TO BE SAFE!>HE’S NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING–LEAVE HIM TO HIS CRAPPY LIFE!>TAKE HIM WITH YOU–YOU MIGHT NEED HIM LATER!>ASK YOUR PALS WHAT THEY THINK!>WRITE-IN!That’s it for now, by the way! Should have more for ya’ THURSDAY AROUND 10-11AM PST!
>>5313810QUESTION 1: WHAT ROUTE WILL YOU TAKE?>Write inIt's looking like Ernesto and Vivaldi get compromised pretty quickly by demon contact. I think we should send them through the bulkhead into the flesh tunnel, guns blazing as a distraction while the rest of the group moves up the shaft. Hopefully they attract a lot of demons away from the rest of us before they get possessed or destroyed.QUESTION 2: WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH TEEVOR?>HE’S NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING–LEAVE HIM TO HIS CRAPPY LIFE!
>>5313661>BUST THE TERMINAL, DON’T LET IT CONNECT!This dork is the first one of his kind to have shown any remorse over anything at all. I say we have him come with us and help us disable the totem. While he’s at it, it he can explain all of the Witch’s capabilities to us. With a bit of encouragement if he needs it.
>>5313810QUESTION 1:This >5313836 and>HOLD ON–YOU WANNA ASK TEEVOR ONE MORE QUESTION!And ask him why his entire race is made up of complete cowards. His colleagues have been fleshified and rather than try and stop it himself or die trying he’d instead choose the slow death of waiting for the demon to inevitably find him. Try and guilt trip him with it.QUESTION 2:>TAKE HIM WITH YOU–YOU MIGHT NEED HIM LATER!Make it clear that the he can come along willingly, or we can bust his limbs and carry his head along instead, to be interrogated or used as demon bait at a later time. Assuming the guilt trip doesn’t work. May be a bit harsh, but these Atlanteans piss me off.I gotta learn to start refreshing before I post.
>>5313810>It's looking like Ernesto and Vivaldi get compromised pretty quickly by demon contact. I think we should send them through the bulkhead into the flesh tunnel, guns blazing as a distraction while the rest of the group moves up the shaft. Hopefully they attract a lot of demons away from the rest of us before they get possessed or destroyed.>ASK YOUR PALS WHAT THEY THINK!
>>5313836>>5313882>SEND OUT ERNESTO AND VIVALDI!>>5313856>ASK TEEVOR WHY HE'S SUCH A BITCH>>5313836>LEAVE TEEVOR>>5313856>TAKE TEEVOR>>5313882>ASK YOUR PALSTell ya what: we'll go with the write-in for question 1, but to make things easier for #2 I'll go with asking pals, then vote again!Writing!
No matter which way you slice it, things are probably gonna get cray-cray, you explain to the others. This COLLECTOR guy has a pretty good idea of where you are now and he’s totally gonna try to rile everyone up!“I’m pretty riled already, to be honest.” Art mutters through his mask’s filter. “The question is, do we take the fast route, or the safer one?”You have an answer to that question waiting in your head, but you’d rather not answer it. You know what it means, after all. As much as it pains you to do so, you wordlessly walk over to Ernesto’s side and give the golem a gracious pat on the back. You’ll take the MAINTENANCE SHAFT, you reply with growing trepidation in your voice, but these guys’ll be running a distraction in the other tunnel.“Wait, wha?” Talbot sputters incredulously, “B-but they’ve been awesome so far! They gave us a ride, they opened and closed that one door, they blew up those demon tentacles–hell, they’re cooler than ART!”“Hey!”You’re well aware of that, you nod, ignoring the angry Rent-A-Cop, but they were acting funky two seconds ago, and the last thing you want is to have to take them down yourself! It’d be like that movie ‘Aged Screamer!’“As much as it hurts me to say it, using them as a distraction might be our best option.” Sybil sighs. “Though I’ll admit their performance has been exemplary up until now. I can see why the Atlanteans utilize them.”“Tch… typical primitives…” Teevor scoffs, still hanging from Vivaldi’s hand. “Do you get teary-eyed over every appliance you throw away too? Ooh, or what about those plastic water bottles you love so much? Getting misty-eyed yet?”Vivaldi, you snarl, introduce this jerk to the wall, please.You can almost spot a flash of appreciation in the golem’s eye as he promptly smashes the captive mage against the wall!“OOF! Yes, very matur-”Again, Vivaldi.“ACK! If… if this is what makes you happy, the-”Once more with feeling, Vivaldi.“D’OW! Alright, now you’re just acting like a spoilt-”Can I try? One more time, Vivaldi!“OOF!”*Hiss!*Sure, Lil’ Stanley!*GrrrrRrrl…*“D’AUGH!”His bones still intact, but now thoroughly tenderized, Teevor shakes off the wall-induced daze and lets out a low growl. “Fine,” he grumbles, “Do whatever you want. Primitives…”Thanks, you grin, you will! Vivaldi, ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD!“No! NOOOOO!”>CONTD.
>>5314250Speaking of, you segue as your captive groans in pain like a beat-up pinata, what the heck are we gonna do with this dork, anyways?“He has no reason to assist us,” Sybil begins as she gives Teevor a cold glare, “But he is a researcher here–his knowledge might come in useful if we can restore the lab to working order.”“Help you? Ugh. You don’t need me for that.” The mage scoffs derisively.“I dunno about that…” Art retorts, prompting Syb to shift her aforementioned glare over to him. “Sorry ba-err, Syb, but did you guys not hear him earlier? All he needs is a little concentration and boom: no more heads!”“Errr, actually… maybe you DO need me!” Teevor sputters! “A-alive, that is!”“Then bust him up a little!” Talbot suggests with a menacing crack of his knuckles! “Dude can’t do magic without his body, right?”“Nope, can’t do it!” Replies the skeleton with a shake of his hooded head. “Guess you’ve bested me! Drat!”“Errr, yes he can.” Interjects Syb with another pointed look at the prisoner. “It’d be difficult, of course, but as long as he can speak… hells, even if he couldn’t speak-”“Do erm… do I get a say in this?” Teevor asks meekly, earning a resounding ‘NO’ from the rest of the team!“Even if this guy was in the mood to help us,” Art continues, “What’s stopping him from being possessed? He said it himself, you know. You guys want to get chewed on by a demonic skull?”“But without him we’ll have to resort to guesswork if we come across any consoles or doors, Arthur.” Sybil counters with growing irritation in her voice. Uh oh–she used his name!“Y-yea, well…” Art stammers, bravely standing his ground, “What’s stopping him from, like, feeding us incorrect info? He could activate the, I dunno, the SHARK TANK function or something!”“Self-preservation.” Sybil snarls, eyes glowing blue with anger! “It only takes a second to crush a skull, as I’m sure the ‘LEAD RESEARCHER’ is aware…”“He is!” Teevor yelps from his dangling perch! “I-If it helps you decide at all, I didn’t end up killing any of you, did I? I just want to live a little longer!”The tension in the room grows as your pals stand by their ideas. Being the HEAD HONCHO, however, it’s up to you to make the call… as usual!What will you do?>SMASH THIS SKELETON. HE’S TOO MUCH POTENTIAL TROUBLE!>TAKE HIM ALONG! HE CAN PLAY NICE… OR ELSE!>BRING HIS SKULL–HE WON’T LIKE IT MUCH, BUT TOUGH SHIT!>WRITE-IN!
>>5314251>TAKE HIM ALONG! HE CAN PLAY NICE… OR ELSE
>>5314251>TAKE HIM ALONG! HE CAN PLAY NICE… OR ELSE!
>>5314281>>5314290>>5314298>TAKE HIM ALONG!Writing!
Having already forgotten your friend’s arguments, you take a few ‘hmm’-filled moments before rendering your judgment. Making your way over to Vivaldi and, by extension, Teevor, you give the latter a good, long stare before giving your order:Vivaldi, put this moron down!The skeletal mage drops to the floor with confusion plastered all over his hooded face–luckily you had a lot of practice recognizing hooded expressions from Eddie, Tucker, and Kiki!“But….” he stammers as Vivaldi and the others watch silently, “... but I tried to kill you… I STILL want to kill you!”Hey, you shrug, if you wasted everyone who wanted you dead, you wouldn’t have any friends left! Am I right?!“Ha ha, yea…” Art laughs as Sybil nods sheepishly, Talbot awkwardly scratches his head, and Lil’ Stanley shrugs with a crooked grin on her face!“You’re…” The mage mutters as he shakes his head in disbelief, “You’re mad. You must be.”Mad like a FOX, you giggle! Now get the heck up already–he’s coming with you and he’s gonna be helpful, damn it!Still processing your decision, your ex-prisoner keeps his glowing eyes on you as he wordlessly staggers to his feet. Groovy, you chirp, that settles that, then!“So all that remains is…” Art begins before turning to face the two golems. Yea, you nod somberly, it’s time.Taking a steadying breath, you order them both to stand in front of you. They comply, of course. Ernesto… Vivaldi, you begin, unsure of how to address what might be the last time you see the two, you’re uh… give yourselves a few pats on the back. You’ve earned ‘em.Exchanging blank glances, the sentries wordlessly begin patting themselves on their backs. Good, you nod, that’ll do. As the two stare at you awaiting their next orders, you can’t help but freeze up a little bit–in a way they remind you of Talbot… ya’ know, before he could talk and be sweaty.“A moment, Stan!” Sybil interrupts before trotting over to the two golems. Staring them both in their blank eyes, The Goth gives them both reassuring pats on their arms. “Thank you,” she whispers, “for what you’re about to do.”“Yea…” Art nods, “Thanks, guys.”“You did damn good!” Talbot grins, giving them both a thumbs up!“Yes, well done doing what you’re made to do.” Teevor spits, skillfully ruining the moment for EVERYone! “May we proceed?”In a minute, dick! Staring up at the golem’s eyes with renewed confidence, you smile at them both before pointing them down the corridor. Their mission, you explain, is to open that door, shut it behind them, and kick some demon ass! Ya’ got that?Ernesto and Vivaldi give you a long, hard stare as if to say: “Yes, you sexy minx, you. We’ll miss you, but we’ll give ‘em hell. Also, we love you.”“Yep, that’s gotta be it…” Art groans.>CONTD.
>>5314410With that settled, the two golems stomp towards the lab exit and linger in the doorway for a moment. You’re just about to repeat your order when they interrupt you with a thumbs up of their own! E-ERNESTO! V-VIVALDI!“We…” Teevor blinks, completely stupefied, “We didn’t program them to do that…”“Can’t program that, science nerd!” Talbot laughs as the sentries march towards what might be their final battle, “Can’t program that!”As their footsteps grow more distant, Sybil turns to you and gives you a reassuring smile. “We’d better go, Stanley–wouldn’t want to waste their efforts.”“Yes, please…” Teevor grumbles as he brushes the gunk off of his red cloak, “Let’s get this suicide mission over with…”Clambering back through the hole you emerged from, you find yourselves once again overlooking the yawning abyss that is the maintenance shaft–its ramps still in pieces from your firefight earlier.“So that’s what all the noise was…” Teevor grumbles as he hovers between you and Talbot, “It’s a wonder these demons haven’t destroyed the whole lab yet…”As you continue up the spiral ramp to the next doorway, the mage motions for you to be still. Since when is he the one calling the shots, hm?“Quiet down, will you?!” He hisses before pressing against the door! “Beyond this door lies the ZAKHMET FREQUENCY DEVICE WAISTWORKS– a pipeline for massive quantities of RAW MAGIC!”“Yea? So?” Talbot grunts impatiently. “We gotta go upstairs, dude.”“If the demons have been here, there’s bound to be leaks,” The mage explains in an annoyed tone, “Harmful ones, naturally. If that’s the case, someone will have to forge ahead and shut off some of the junctions so you can pass!”Okay, you growl, so who’s gonna do it? And why didn’t he bring this up a few minutes ago?“I know the layout and I’m already dead,” Teevor replies. “If anyone should do it, it should be me.”“Hate ta’ say it, kid,” Mutters Ly’s disembodied voice, “But there’s definitely a leak in there.” Before you can ask how he knows, your skeleton’s glowing spectral form peeks through the door before reentering your body. Super.“It’ll take but a minute.” Teevor adds as you relay what Ly said to the rest of the team. “Just don’t enter until the door opens again, okay?”What say ye?>LET HIM TAKE CARE OF IT!>NO WAY, PRICK–YOU’LL ARMOR UP AND CLOSE THE VALVES!>HE CAN GO, BUT LY’S FOLLOWING!>WRITE-IN!Going out for a bit, but should update again later in the afternoon!
>>5314412>>HE CAN GO, BUT LY’S FOLLOWING!
>>5314412>LET HIM TAKE CARE OF IT!Give him the benefit of the doubt. Prove he has more honor than the golems he used to order around.
>>5314412>HE CAN GO, BUT LY’S FOLLOWING!Actually, thinking about it again he did say he still wants to kill us.
>5314412>>HE CAN GO, BUT LY’S FOLLOWING!
>>5314438>>5314473>>5314494>NICE TRY, DICKHEAD!Writing!
Sounds good, you nod, prompting the mage to cautiously reach to unlock the door.“Hahahah, oh shit, here it comes…” Mutters Ly as you take a deep breath and lean in close to where Teevor’s ear probably used to be.FOR BABIES!Slamming his bony face against the door, the Atlantean groans in pain as you, Talbot, Ly, and Lil’ Stanley all share a mirthful laugh! “Are you INSANE?!” Teevor snarls as he rises back to his feet struggling to decide whether to massage his face or the side of his skull!“I agree with the coward!” Sybil growls as she does that ‘crossed-arm’ thing she does when she’s peeved! “There are demons about!”“C-coward?”You might be insane, you counter as you ALSO cross your arms, but you aren’t stupid!Before you can finish your response, everyone in the group suddenly falls into a coughing fit! Jeez, guys, drink a glass of water or something!“Sorry…” Art wheezes as he loudly clears his throat, “what were you saying again?”You were saying, you growl, that if this dickhead thinks he’s running off into the crazy Altadenan lab on his own, he’s got another thing comin’!“And what, pray tell, might that be?” The mage asks with a scowl. “I merely assumed you didn’t want to die a horrible, lingering death from RAW MAGIC exposure, but-”Oh he’s free to do his thing, you interject, but he’s not doing it alone! Ly!Popping out of your body like a skeleton on a springboard, Ly’s ASTRAL FORM turns and gives you a quick salute! “Aye, cap’n?” Keep this weasel in your sight, you order, making sure to stare daggers at Teevor the whole time. The minute he tries anything fishy…“Blow his head up. Gotcha, boss.”“B-b-blow my head up!?” The mage sputters in disbelief! “B-but he’s just an ASTRAL PROJECTION!”Oh good, you smirk, he can see and hear Ly! That makes things easier! You know that Ly can’t blow people’s heads up, probably, but your prisoner doesn’t need to know that, does he?“What do I need to know?” The mage asks.Errr, that he’s on thin eyes, you snarl! Now quit listening in on other people’s conversations with themselves!>CONTD.
>>5314717“Very well then,” The mage sighs, “Like I said, don’t enter until the door opens–if there’s a leak it will have to vent first.”Yea, yea, you groan, waving away his advice, you know how steam works, okay? “Yea, actually-”Are they still here, you roar, prompting both Ly and Teevor to scamper through the door into a thick purple haze on the other side! Get moving!“Welp,” Art remarks as the door immediately slams shut behind the skeleton, “That might set a record for the world’s fastest hostage escape in history.”He worries too much, you shrug as you lean against the wall next to the door! Ly’s as capable as they come!“He’d better be…” Talbot growls, clearly unconvinced, “Or he’s gonna need a, uh… GHOST BODY CAST. Since I’ll be beating him up.”“You realize he’s essentially just Stanley’s skeleton, yes?” Sybil asks as you stare daggers at Talbot’s dumb face.“I… well, yea, but-”Before you can make him feel anywhere near as sorry as you want him to be, you’re interrupted by a faint squeal of static from your pocket! Sharing a confused glance with your pals, you dig out the source from your pocket revealing it to be your TRUSTY RADIO!“Huh,” Art remarks as Lil’ Stanley gets to work gnawing on the device, “That’s not foreboding at all.”“What channel is it set to, Stan?” Sybil helpfully asks. 14, you reply, but that’s funky–you only set it to that one because you thought no one was using it and wanted some quiet time!“Does that mean Mitz or someone might have been trying to call us, then?” Asks Art with a disapproving sniff. No, Art, you fire back, and he should probably stop thinking about Mitzi so much–it’s weird!“No, I-” He sputters, trying and failing to avoid Syb’s sideways glance, “I just… look, who’s calling, huh!?”Good question… here’s an even better one: do you try to respond to it?>YEA, COULD BE SOMETHING IMPORTANT!>NO! COULD BE DEMON STUFF! PUT IT AWAY!>HAVE SOMEONE ELSE ANSWER IT FOR YOU! NOSE GOES!>WRITE-IN!
>>5314718>YEA, COULD BE SOMETHING IMPORTANT!But insist everyone else put their fingers in their ears and hum loudly. Stan is possession proof right?
>>5314730I doubt it, but all the same we might as well do this.
>>5314730>>5314738>ANSWER IT! BUT TELL EVERYONE ELSE TO PLUG 'EM!Writing! Probably gonna be the last update of the night!
>>5314718>>YEA, COULD BE SOMETHING IMPORTANT!
In a rare moment of clarity, you recall that someone earlier mentioned you might be resistant to possession! You can’t really remember why, but the fact that someone might have said it is good enough for you, so you waste no time in ordering everyone else to plug their ears! No cheating, Talbot!“D’aww maaaan...”With your fellow janitor being the last one to close their ears (Lil’ Stanley beat him to it by a good minute or so), you cautiously hold the RADIO close to your mouth and mutter a quiet ‘yyyellow?’“Hey hot stuff. You alone?”Wh-WHA?! The question nearly bowls you over as you smack backwards into the wall! Wh-why?!“Because I’ve been trying to reach you for almost an hour, you dweeb.” Replies Mitzi’s eternally-chill voice. “Did you guys kill the last LIEUTENANT yet? We’re getting hungry up here and the MERMAIDS are getting really annoying.”Mitzi’s sudden transmission leaves you flatfooted. Ly’s gone, the others are plugging their ears… h-how do you know this isn’t a DEMON or something!?“Nah, dude, the SEA DEMON ran off a while ago.” The voice replies. “Are you good? You sound kinda tense. Play your cards right and I can give you a mean back massage when you get back. It’ll cost ya’, of course. Just kidding~!”Damn, you hiss to yourself, Mitzi’s always making weird jokes, but anyone can do that! Wait, you sputter, why the heck is she on this channel anyways!? You were using that other one, probably!“Yea, we were.” She scoffs in mock irritation. “And I finally found you on this one. Why were you changing channels, huh?”DAMN, SHE’S GOOD! Letting her question go, you rack your brain for something that could tell you whether she’s the real deal or not… but what could that be!?>JUST ASK HER OUTRIGHT: IS SHE THE REAL DEAL?>ASK HER ABOUT HER DAD AND SISTER–IT’S HARSH, BUT IT OUGHTA’ WORK!>HAVE HER TELL YOU SOMETHING ONLY THE REAL MITZI WOULD KNOW!>GET SOMEONE ELSE ON THE LINE! YOU WANNA SPEAK TO THEM! (WHO?)>JUST HANG UP–THIS IS TOO WEIRD!>COLLECTORDEMONSAYSWHAT?!>BELIEVE HER! WHY WOULD MITZ DECEIVE YOU ABOUT THIS CRAP?>WRITE-IN!
>>5314898>HAVE HER TELL YOU SOMETHING ONLY THE REAL MITZI WOULD KNOW!Ask her when she first met our brother (which she hasn’t). If she answers anything but that she hasn’t, hang up immediately.
>>5314898>>HAVE HER TELL YOU SOMETHING ONLY THE REAL MITZI WOULD KNOW!
>>5314898>HAVE HER TELL YOU SOMETHING ONLY THE REAL MITZI WOULD KNOW!
Should we tell Mitzi to turn off their radios to keep them safe from demons?... Coming from Stan would they believe that?
>>5314988I feel like the demon would have gotten to us long ago if it could actually influence that far away. They’re probably safe on that ship so long as the demon is contained within the facility. If this is Mitzi, I say we tell her not to answer any radio calls until she physically sees us and explain no more than that.
>>5314898>>5314909 +1
>>5314909>>5314943>>5314947>>5315042>TELL ME SOMETHING ONLY THE REAL MITZI WOULD KNOW!Writing!
It’s a long shot, but you think you’ve got something approaching an idea! Clearing your throat a bit, you deftly lay a little trap as you answer your ‘pal’:Lil’ Stanley was, uh, was probably messing with the dial while you weren’t looking, you explain. Dumb animal.“Well whatever…” Mitzi drones as the dumb animal in question shoots you a dirty look from your shoulder. Hey, keep those ears closed! “So listen-”Odd question, you interject, but does she remember what you were wearing the first time she met your brother? You uh… it’s important for a puzzle.Having set the trap, you bite your lip as a moment of silence passes between you and the radio.“You uh… you alright, Stan?” Mitzi asks after a long pause. “You didn’t eat any weird plants down there, did you?”Not recently, you shrug! Why?“Because I’ve never met your brother before, dude–not even on the last day of camp. Which was a shame, given how much you talked about the guy.”You allow yourself to breathe a sigh of relief away from the radio’s receiver before answering her question. That was a test, you explain, and she passed!“Neat. What do I win?”Well for starters, you continue, you aren’t gonna hang up on her!“... yea, pretty sure you can’t do that on a radio, but you’re welcome to try.”Later! Here’s the scoop, Mitz-“Oh, Gus says hi.”Hi, Gus. So like you were saying, things have gotten a little hairy down here.“Like ‘usual’ hairy, or ‘bad’ hairy?”You’re gonna chalk it up to ‘bad’: The lab’s been overrun by DEMONS and you’re pretty sure they’re trying to fuck with your mind!“Yikes. You’ve got a plan, though, right?”Of COURSE you do, you snap! She knows better than anyone how you handle stuff around here!“Uh, sure… so listen, just wanted you to know that your GREASER PALS were trying to reach ya’ over the radio.”You light up with glee! Is… is she talking about HAULIE PAULIE!?“Pretty sure it was the other guy–the one who could go toe-to-toe with Eddie in a ‘hype-off’. Eddie says hey too, by the way.”Hey, Eddie!>CONTD.
>>5315442 So what exactly did Stripes want, hm?“Well he didn’t have long,” Mitzi explains over the sound of Eddie’s excited voice behind her, “But he wanted you to know that that PARTY they’ve been setting up is happening TONIGHT, and guess who’s invited?”You blink. Why, us, of course.“Wow, Stan, that’s awfully forward of you.” Replies the security goon. “I guess I can be your date as long as it doesn’t make anyone all jealous.”Ha-ha, you groan, you meant, like, the gang! “Boo. But yea, he said we’re all invited. He also told me to tell you that Cliff’s ready to discuss, uh, the ‘next step’, whatever that means.”Either going steady or dealing with TIM, you wager. “Well whatever he means, you’ve still got a job to do, right?!” She shouts over a salvo of machine gun fire in the background! “So just call us when you need us!”One more thing, you add, ignoring the sound of gunfire, if she gets another call from you or anyone soon, be real careful–this demon’s supposed to be a sneaky one!“Gotcha, boss. Don’t worry–I have a whole list of security questions for ya’ just rarin’ to go.”Atta’ girl. So, you continue, anything else you should know?“Huh?”You said is there anything el-“Boss, you’re br-ng -p”Damn it, you hiss, you’ll talk to her later!“-n? C-ear m-”Stupid radios! You’re just about to shove the device back into your pocket when another burst of static pops from the speaker! Bringing it back up to your ear, you tell Mitz you’ll call later!“Well shoot…” Comes a smooth, unfamiliar voice reminiscent of a used car salesman or game show host from the other end, “I was hoping to talk now… you got a little more time for me, sweetheart?”An unnatural heat emanates from the speaker as if someone was breathing on your cheek. What do?>TURN OFF THE RADIO NOW!>ASK WHO YOU’RE SPEAKING TO, PLEASE!>TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF!>INQUIRE AS TO WHAT THEY WANT!>WRITE-IN!
>>5315453>>ASK WHO YOU’RE SPEAKING TO, PLEASE!>>TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF!
>>5315453>TURN OFF THE RADIO NOW!Bones, I know I said I wanted to talk to the demon but it was a joke, man! I swear! I don’t need the knowledge that badly!
>>5315627>>5315453Switching. Playing it safe. We can tell them to fuck off before we hang up.
But if a while goes by and nobody says anything, maybe it wouldn’t hurt >>5315458 to hear what he has to say…
>>5315627>>5315634>FUCK OOOOOFFFFSuit yourselves! :^) Writing!
Bringing the receiver mere inches from your mouth, you answer the mystery caller with a resounding ‘FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCK OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFF!’ before dramatically twisting the volume knob to the ‘off’ position!“Errr, can we uncover our ears yet?” Art asks as a startled Lil’ Stanley scurries into the safety of your pocket!Sure, you growl, still incensed by the call, but they’d better look alive–you’re getting the feeling things are about to get a little cray-cray!As if reading your mind, a chorus of wretched wailing and screeching reverberates from the bottom of the maintenance shaft! Peering over the edge, you watch with growing annoyance as a fresh shipment of DEMONS creep towards you like fireball-slinging ants!“Great,” Talbot groans as he grabs a nearby hunk of debris, “So much for that distraction, huh?”“Nevermind that,” Sybil barks as she forms a handful of ARCANE BOLTS, “Where’s Ly?!”Good question, you reply as the horde of tentacled wretches draws closer! Letting loose a volley of explosive FIREBALLS your way, the demon vanguards fill the air with unintelligible slurring as they dodge past your pals’ attacks! If you had to guess, though, you think they’re saying something about… secretes?“SECRETS, Stan!” Art roars as he lets loose a volley of bolts from his staff! “Quit trying to make sense of it and help us!”He doesn’t have to tell you twice! How do you fend the swarm off?>EYE LASERS! LOTS!>BACKUUM ATTACKUUM! THERE’S PLENTY OF DEBRIS!>TRY THE BACKUUM FIREBALL TRICK AGAIN!>GET UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL–TEAR INTO ‘EM WITH BONE CLAWS!>KICK THE DAMN DOOR DOWN–THERE’S NO TIME!>WRITE-IN!
>>5315675>>EYE LASERS! LOTS!>BACKUUM ATTACKUUM! THERE’S PLENTY OF DEBRIS!
>>5315675>BACKUUM ATTACKUUM! THERE’S PLENTY OF DEBRIS!First>GET UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL–TEAR INTO ‘EM WITH BONE CLAWS!If they get too close.Let’s try not to pull off the fireball trick twice. We get lucky pretty often, but if we push it we’ll just incinerate all of us.
>>5315693Actually this works. Ignore >>5315694
>>5315693>>5315708>EYE LASERS AND BACKUUMING!Heading out for errands in a bit so might not update for a little while. ROLL ME 2d100+5, I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS! If you've got any specific tactics you wanna use, WRITE 'EM IIIIIIINNNN
Rolled 97, 18 + 5 = 120 (2d100 + 5)>>5315745nat1 and our regular coveralls get burnt off
>>5315748damn those eye lasers be ballin'
>>5315748>nat 1 and our regular ART get burnt offFixed
Rolled 20, 3 + 5 = 28 (2d100 + 5)>>5315745
>>5315758But we're not wearing an ART
>>5315766Not in this route you ain't. Also,>implying he would pull pic related
Rolled 54, 15 + 5 = 74 (2d100 + 5)>>5315745Aim for the walls with our laser to try and dislodge more debris so that it falls down towards the demons. Block off the ramps, too.
>>5315748>>5315764>>5315826THE ROLLS:>EYE LASER: 102!BACKUUM: 23 :CWriting!
Sorry, all, but I'm actually gonna postpone this update til SATURDAY 10-11AM PST--spent the afternoon in the heat and it's got my brain fried and tired! Sorry for the bait n' switch--will have more for ya' tomorrow for sure! Take this pic as an apology!
>>5316071This is well drawn picture but seeing a sexy Lil Stanley, ugh *shudders*
>>5316071Not only flakes on the post, but leaves an empty consolation present as he goes. What a guy.
>>5316233Not my usual subject matter, but I do it for the fans, damn it! I DO IT FOR THE FANS!>>5316338You finally see it, anon: behind this amicable, eager-to-please exterior is a dark, EVIL core! And a very LAZY one at that!Also here's an update...
Why, the tried and true way, of course! As your pals keep pressure on the approaching army of fleshy fiends amidst a fireworks show of nasty fireballs, you turn your LASER EYE towards the ramps that haven’t been demolished yet–namely the ones right beneath you!Not, y’know, the ones you’re standing on, of course–that would be dumb. You’re not dumb.Too busy dodging the veritable SWARM of ARCANE BOLTS from both Syb and Art, the demons barely react when your laser carves through the ramps like a knife through a particularly moist brownie! Tumbling downwards in a shower of debris, your indirect attack sends your attackers plummeting in groups! Following up with your trusty BACKUUM, you quickly reconsider when the surviving demons use your projectiles as stepping stones! Stupid demons, you spit as you relucantly switch off the device, learning from their mistakes!“Errr, not bad, Stan, but-”You know what Art’s gonna say before he can finish: shaken, stirred, and ready to serve thanks to the fireballs exploding left and right, you feel your own ramp buckle under your rubber boots–the universal symbol for ‘get the hell offa’ me, you big idiot’!“That’s it: we’re OUTTA HERE!”With a triumphant roar, Talbot chucks one last hunk of debris at the horde before charging the still-sealed door! Leaping into the air with a foot extended into a flying jump kick, the janitor sails a bit further than he expected when the passage opens mere inches from being hit!Sailing into a maze of massive tubes housing what you immediately recognize is RAW, er, WILD-you know what? WHATEVER kind of MAGIC it is, the janitor lands in a heap right in front of Ly’s welcoming, but still kinda creepy ASTRAL PROJECTION! Took them long enough!“Da’ dweeb’s up ahead callin’ an elevator to onna’ da’ CONTROL ROOMS!” Your skeleton reports with a more-than-adequate level of urgency in his voice! “C’mon! I’ll… ‘LY’D DA WAY!”“Did anyone else hear applause just now?” Art asks as you all scamper into the open door. “No,” Sybil replies, “But I do hear SOMEthing!”Before you can contemplate what that something is, the answer, or rather answers clamber through the open door behind you!“WHAaATARrrYOuHIDINNNGGG!?!”Being one of the few team members who can actually see Ly AND not wanting to die, you quickly adjust your hat as you and the others chase after Ly’s glowing body through the maze!ROLL ME 1d100+10 (+5 BUNNY SUIT, +5 BONE SPEED) TO NOT FALL BEHIND! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 22 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5316505
>>5316527Retard moment. Add +5 to my total
Rolled 28 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5316505Strike. Scream. Run.
Rolled 88 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5316505
>>5316527>>5316532>>5316535>HIGHEST ROLL: 98!A'MAZE'ING--you didn't die! Writing!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOZVJGwfyR8The path between the pipes twists and turns like a drunken snake as you and your chums scurry along it like a pack of very determined lab rats!“Why…” Art wheezes over the sound of tubes being torn apart behind you, “Why couldn’t it just be a straight line?”Because that would be easy, you snarl as you feel the muscles in your thighs start to burn! And god forbid things are ever EASY!Skidding around a corner, you nearly get to FIRST BASE with a tentacle as it TEARS through the tubes next to you and spills its gassy contents all over the passage! Half-stumbling, half-crawling out of the way, you and your friends dart past the leak just in time to avoid a fresh dose of WILD MAGIC!“It’s right over here!” Ly shouts as the tubes around you explode with magic and demonic appendages! Chancing a glance behind you, your fears are confirmed: rather than follow the path like proper, civilized adults, the demons have no issue charging through the pipes like animals!Man, you’re glad you won’t have to clean this up later!Rounding another bend, your eyes light up as you spot Teevor waiting on an elevator at the end of a long stretch of, uh, passage! Glancing your way with a pleading look in his glowing eyes, the mage frantically beckons you to hurry up!“THIS WAY!” He shrieks as the demons burst through the pipes behind you! “JUST A LITTLE FURTH-”Before he can finish, the gossamer-thin blue lights on the elevator flicker a bit, then surge with a fiendish orange light! Shooting you a brief apologetic look, the mage stands frozen like a wax figure as an arc of red electricity jolts the elevator upwards!“WAIT!” Sybil shouts, blinking over to the elevator just in time to miss it, “STOP!”“SHIT!” Sputters Art through heavy breaths, “ShitSHITSHIT!”“Okay, time fer’ Plan B!” Ly announces as you notice a thin layer of PURPLE SMOKE beginning to form on the metal floor below you! “Follow me! I coulda’ swore I saw another!”He doesn’t have to tell you twice! Fighting through the growing pain in your chest and legs, you continue down a path past the elevator in front of you with the demons still hot on your heels!UH OH! ROLL ME 1d100+5 (+5 BUNNY SUIT, +5 BONE SPEED, -5 GETTING A LITTLE TIRED HERE) TO CATCH THE NEXT ONE! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 60 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5316600
Rolled 15 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5316600POWER OF DUBS!
>>5316666EVEN WORSE
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>5316600Hopefully they're not fourth wall demons, but this is bone quest so... better hustle.
>>5316695Better safe than sorry, anon--you might want to keep a firearm or mop nearby just in case...>>5316666Nice sixes, though, Tex!>HIGHEST ROLL: 65!Writing!
If anyone told you a week ago that you’d be be in Atlantis frantically chasing your glowing skeleton through a gauntlet of tentacles, fangs, and volatile magical energy alongside a raccoon, a mage, an ex-murder machine, and a weeb, you’d probably order whatever they were drinking! And fail, given how reliable your fake ID’s been in the past.The truth, as they say, is stranger than friction, however, and as you duck and weave through the rapidly-multiplying demonic tentacles and claws currently trying to eviscerate you, it dawns on you that you might have been given a raw deal here.“KEEP MOVING, DAMN IT!”Oh, right. Eager to not be killed either, Talbot shoves you from behind, not that you needed any extra motivation! As you start to feel the leaking RAW MAGIC tingle against your boots, you approach another straightaway in the path you hope leads to freedom.“A little more, folks! Move dem’ drumsticks!”Encouraging you to push on like a very confused personal trainer, Ly whips around one last corner and lets out a triumphant ‘BINGO!”Normally you’d be pissed at him for spoiling the surprise, but you opt to let it go this time! Turning the corner after him, you lay your eyes on the proverbial ‘prize’: another elevator just waiting to be boarded!“Oh man, please don’t crap out on us…” Groans a very-weary Art from behind his gas mask!“Would it kill you to not invite calamity for once!?” Sybil roars as she blinks onto the platform ahead of you! Sliding onto the elevator next to her, you wait until Talbot slips in as well before going for the button with a resounding ‘HANG ONTA’ SOMETHIIIIIIIING!’“... You missed it.” Art scoffs in defeated disbelief. “How the hell did you miss the button!?”It was at a funny angle, alright!? Sticking your tongue out at the Rent-A-Cop, you give the whole ‘button-pressing’ thing another go! Activating it with a reassuring ‘beep’, your pals laugh triumphantly as the lift lurches upwards while you wave bye-bye to the approaching demons! Goin’ uuuuuup!You get about two feet higher before the elevator’s control panel fizzles and sparks with red energy! “No…” Art mutters as the panel flickers and the platform sinks back towards where it started, “Me and my big mouth…”“Great going, Art,” Sneers Talbot as he gives the security goon’s helmet a noogie, “Now we’re gonna DIE!”“Technically only our bodies will die,” Sybil helpfully adds as she charges up some magical energy in her hands, “Our souls will stay alive… but they’ll probably torture and feast on those until the end of the multiverse, so…”“Hey uh, if I already sold my soul… am I good?” Asks Talbot as a pack of hungry demons charge forward to meet you at the landing. “Ask me later if we survive!” Snaps The Goth!>CONTD.
>>5316753As you approach your FINAL STOP, you refuse to just fight demons for the next four or five posts! You’ve gotta do something, you reason, but what!?>SMACK THE CONTROL PANEL A FEW MORE TIMES!>FIND THE ELEVATOR MOTOR THINGIE AND HIT IT!>MASH THE UP BUTTON LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT (AND HEY, IT DOES!)>YOU’RE PROBABLY GONNA DIE, SO SAY/DO SOMETHING TO ONE OF YOUR PALS BEFORE THAT HAPPENS (ART? SYB? LIL’ STANLEY? TALBOT? LY?)>WRITE-IN!
>>5316756>>MASH THE UP BUTTON LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT (AND HEY, IT DOES!)>>TALBOT, YOU'RE NOT A SHITTY JANITOR AFTER ALL!>ART, YOU MAY BE AN ART BITCH, BUT YOU'RE OUR ART-BITCH!!>LITTLE STANLEY, YOU SUCK!
>>5316774>MASH THE BUTTON AND TELL THESE JERKS HOW YOU REALLY FEEL!Writing!
>>5316774How dare you say that to Little Stanley. This kinda shit is why she’s gonna inevitably betray us.
>>531695010/10 Lil' Stanley is definitely the traitor. Might as well let it all out while we can.
As certain magical and demonic doom approaches at a menacingly slow speed, your mind races to find some kind of solution! You’re the protagonist, damn it, you oughta’ have something for this! Faced with the very real prospect of dying, your thoughts go into freefall!Talbot, you stammer as you feverishly mash where the ‘UP’ icon used to be, you’re not just a shitty janitor after all! “W-wha?” He asks, taken aback by your sudden compliment and button-pressing!Yea, you nod, it’s true! He’s not great, you add, but he isn’t terrible! And Art, you add while Talbot processes your words and Sybil watches with growing irritation, you might be a stuck-up, porn-obsessed ART BITCH, but you’re OUR ART BITCH!“Err… th-thanks?”Don’t mention it, you growl as you feel the bones in your button-pressing finger start to ache! And Lil’ Stanley–who could forget about her? Though still preoccupied by the snarling, rabid beasts coming to tear her into shreds, the woodland critter cranes her pointy ears in your direction!Lil’ Stanley, you repeat, you… you kinda suck! I mean, you get that she can’t move around a lot because there’s stupid water everywhere, but you eat all of our snacks and haven’t done, like, one trick yet! What’s her damage!?Hissing into your ear, the capricious beast hops over to Talbot’s shoulders before flipping a tiny, but clear, bird in your direction. Alright, you shrug, that kinda counts…You’re just about to say something EXCEPTIONALLY stunning to Sybil when the elevator jolts beneath you! Exchanging confused glances with the rest of the team, you watch wide-eyed as the blue ‘UP’ switch flickers back into existence…And processes all of your commands in a fraction of a second.Like a particularly open space shuttle, the elevator EXPLODES upwards, nearly severing Lil’ Stanley’s twitching nose when it passes the ceiling! Flying up the shaft at breakneck speed, you and the others desperately cling to each other for dear life as you pass by floors coated in boil-ridden flesh, serrated tentacles, and more demons than you can shake a stick at!“I guess… we’re heading… to the top…” Art slurs as he lingers somewhere between passing out and staying conscious!“I… hope… so!” Sybil nods, bangs sprawled over her face like a ghost in a Japanese horror flick!>CONTD.
>>5316968After what feels like minutes of breakneck travel, a quick glance upwards reveals a closed hatch at the top of the elevator shaft!“Is…” Art begins as your pals notice it as well, “Is that gonna open?”“Judging by our current speed and distance, well…” Sybil mutters in mid-calculation, “It had BETTER!”Having had your fill of surprises for one day, you and Talbot exchange knowing nods and charge up your EYE LASERS for a COMBO ATTACK! Hold onto something, you growl as your eye socket burns with excess heat, it’s gonna be close!ROLL 1d100 TO BLAST THROUGH! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5316975
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>53169751
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5316975
>>5316976>>5316981>>5316992>HIGHEST ROLL: 83!Writing!
Giving it a quick once-over, the hatch above looks pretty dang tough–maybe even tougher than the marble-esque walls this whole damn lab’s been made out of? If you had to guess, you’d say it was a bulkhead of some sort; it opens, sure, but not without a damn good reason!Sensing this, you don’t hold back when your eye finally charges up, and thankfully Talbot doesn’t either! Opening wide for extra spread, you grit your teeth at the impending pain before lettin’ ‘er rip at what you hope is the last obstacle in this little sidequest of yours!Bursting forth from your eye like a caged sun, your laser combined with Talbot’s burns into the hatch at a slow, but sure pace!“KEEP GOING!” Sybil cheers as she stands by with her RADIANT BLADE held at her side! “YOU GOT THIS, GUYS!” Art shouts as Lil’ Stanley tries her best to massage Talbot’s broad shoulders! Feeling the inside of your eye socket steam, you push through the pain a little longer–-enough to see a hole being formed as you rocket closer by the second! The smell of smoke and burning flesh tickles your nostrils as both you and Talbot refuse to give up! Just when you start to feel a sensation akin to having a lit match shoved into your eye, you see it: a way through! Giving your eye a break, you hug everyone close together to fit inside the narrow hole and prepare for impact!You wanted to close your eyes, but no dice–one of ‘em was too hot. So when the elevator crashes into the bulkhead, you’re still alert. As your cloak-granted gravity hurls you skyward, you and Talbot stare at each other–neither of you able to blink.Flying through the air, or water in your strange case, you emerge into a cavernous chamber consisting of a colossal, central tower that looks like it was plucked straight out of a sci-fi movie! You’re certain it would look a lot more impressive, however, without what you assume are the demon’s additions: buried beneath massive chunks of hairy, scarred flesh, the TOTEM glows with an otherworldly reddish-orange glow that matches the festering boils on the demon’s skin! Towering overhead, the totem extends all the way to the tip of the lab pyramid–its true shape not really noticeable until now!Before gravity can bring you back to what looks like an outer metal catwalk surrounding the totem, you see a gigantic shape move just outside of the totem’s glow… and another. And another!Opening his masked eyes, Art is the second one to notice something’s off. “Ohhhhhh crap...” He mutters as a tentacle the size of a building arcs towards a bridge connecting your landing zone to the central totem, “That’s not good….”>CONTD.
>>5317092https://youtu.be/CQ-CKGi5jCMThe four of you land seconds before the tentacle does. Crashing into a heap on the catwalk, none of you bother getting up as the demonic appendage reduces the connecting bridge to scrap!“The hell are you guys waiting for!?” Growls Art as he stumbles to his feet, “We can still use another bri-”Like leviathans in the deep, more massive tentacles get to work destroying the remaining links to the center! As the totem’s low, rumbling hum is overpowered by screeching metal, you watch in disbelief as even more trouble emerges from the patches of flesh throughout the chamber!“Aw CRIPES,” Ly remarks as you both watch a goo-covered golem sentry emerge like a homicidal baby chick from an egg, “Things just got a little trickier, cupcake!”Freeing itself from the fleshy prison, the golem’s singular eye glows red as it regards you from afar! With barely a blink, the sentry bursts out from the remaining flesh and rockets towards you with jets of magic from its feet!“PRIMITIVES!”Whirling to face the familiar voice, you spot Teevor’s tiny figure wildly waving to you from the central control platform! “YOU HAVE TO HURRY–I’VE GOT IT ALL SET UP FOR Y-”Before he can elaborate on why YOU have to do the work, you get your answer almost immediately. Staggering to the side like he was struck by an invisible brick, the skeleton mage grips his hooded face and stumbles to the side of the platform! As a fresh coat of flesh forms over his workstation, your prisoner takes one too many steps to the side and tumbles head over heels into the shadowy abyss below…… before immediately floating back up!“STtaNLEeeY!” The mage roars as his glowing eyes shift from yellow to rusty red, “GgGOTTTaaa SEEECrrreRrET FFFoorR YOOoOU....”Whipping his skull back in manic laughter, the mage wastes no time in forming two handfuls of FIREBALLS!“ShHOULdA AAANswwEERED THe RAAAdiiiIOOO!!!”“Stanley,” Hisses Sybil as your pals prepare for a scrap, “You need to dig in and reset that terminal NOW!”“You heard the witch!” Talbot roars as he wrenches free a few pieces of catwalk with his metallic tendrils, “We reset this thing, this freak goes bye-bye!”Sure, you nod as the mage and the golems draw close, but how the hell are you supposed to get over there!?>HAVE TALBOT CHUCK YOU TO THE CENTER!>IF SYB BLINKS WITH YOU, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET OVER!>CATCH A RIDE ON A GOLEM!>TEEVOR’S FLOATING–SUCK HIM IN WITH THE BACKUUM AND HITCH A RIDE!>WRITE-IN!
>>5317094>HAVE TALBOT CHUCK YOU TO THE CENTER!We risk no one but ourself.
>>5317094>HAVE TALBOT CHUCK YOU TO THE CENTER!Kick off his goodboynium defense with our emu legs, should have a nice spring to it.
>>5317094>HAVE TALBOT CHUCK YOU TO THE CENTER!human cannonball time
>>5317094>HAVE TALBOT CHUCK YOU TO THE CENTER!
>>5317165I like the way you think, kid--you betcher ass you're getting a BONEUS to this roll for that!>>5317126>>5317165>>5317176>>5317238>STANNONBALL!ROLL ME 1d100+5 (+5 BUNNY SUIT, +5 EMU LEGS, +5 GOODBOYNIUM DEFENSE BOOST, -10 LOTS OF BAD SHIT) TO SHOOT FOR THE MOON! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 53 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5317452
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>5317452
Rolled 91 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5317452DO A FLIP!
Rolled 98 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5317452I THOUGHT I ROLLED AAAAAAHHHH(Ignore this if my actual roll shows up. Unless it's higher.)
Now your just showing off with those rolls. Save some for the witch.
>>5317483Nice try, dingus! I'll take the request for a FLIP into account, though! We run a tight ship around here!>>5317488>Inb4 straight crit-fails the entire fightStart thinking about which character will take over the protagonist role, folks.>>5317477>>5317478>>5317479>HIGHEST ROLL: 96! (OR 103 IF YOU BUY THAT 'THOUGHT I ROLLED' SCHPIEL. I DON'T CARE--YOU PASSED!)Writing!
Still struggling with indecision, you look around at your friends in a vain attempt to get inspired! Blinking across the catwalk like a madwoman, you can see Sybil’s temper flare up as she alternates between freezing approaching golems mid-flight and sending ARCANE BOLTS to intercept TEEVOR’S fireballs!Taking a page from his honey bunny, Art uses his HOMING STAFF to fend off the colossal tentacles approaching from the veil of shadows around you! Though they don’t seem to be too hurt by his attacks, you can’t deny that they’re keeping them from crushing the whole platform!Talbot, on the other hand, is all over the place. Hurling debris at everyone and everything, you can see his cocky facade cracking as the golems in the air shrug off his attacks as if they were made out of toilet paper! Though Lil’ Stanley tries to act as a spotter, you know better than anyone that these folks are tired.“Got any crazy ideas, cupcake?” Ly asks as you look past the twisted, jagged remains of the bridge. Though Sybil manages to intercept a few of TEEVOR’S, the skeleton mage isn’t running out of steam–where one projectile is stopped, three more go free! Watching Talbot try and fail to chuck a hunk of debris at one, however, sets off an old, rusty bell deep inside your brain. Yea, you nod as your body fills with renewed confidence, and it’s a real wacky one!Rushing over to Talbot’s side, the two of you are nearly hurled over the edge of the catwalk as another fireball explodes against its side! Grabbing you by the shoulder with one of his tendrils, the janitor looks at you expectantly as he chucks a piece of railing like a javelin!“So are you waiting for them to give up, or?”No, doofus, you growl, you’ve got a better idea! Pointing your finger towards the central totem, you raise an eyebrow his way. Can he get you there?“Yea, of course!” The janitor confidently declares! “Err… probably.”Fantastic, you groan, because he’s kind of your only hope right now.Your ex-bodyguard’s eyes light up as your words sink into his shaggy, dumb head. “Can uh… would you mind saying that agai-”He’s your only hope, alright?! And you’re his only hope too, so don’t get all fat-headed about it! As the two of you duck under a low-flying golem, Talbot gives you a nod. “Hey, if you’re sure about it… just don’t hold it against me if I kill ya’, alright?”Though you try to hold strong as one of his metallic tentacles wraps around you, you can’t help but falter a bit–man, that feels weird! Gently swinging you around in the air a few times, the janitor sticks his tongue out in concentration before pausing to look your way. “You ready?”YES, you snarl, now throw or we-You never finish that sentence. Whipping his tendril back behind him, Talbot takes a few steps back before sending you flying!>CONTD.
>>5317626Soaring through the air like a particularly-attractive football, you make use of your hangtime to perform a few quick somersaults as you sail towards your landing zone!The demons, as it turns out, aren’t that impressed, or maybe they’re so impressed that they don’t want you to do it ever again because…Reasons.In any case, your in-flight meal consists of a healthy serving of tentacles, fireballs, hair spines, and, of course, a few golems. As the former swat at you from the shadows, your BONE SPEED and acrobatic prowess allows you to duck past them and the hairs they launch your way! “THHhISCHaaaangGES NOOTHIINggYerrRKNnooowW!” Teevor shouts with an echoing boom! Sending another fireball your way, the mage misses his mark by inches–as you dodge out of the way with a quick spin, a gentlemanly young golem takes the hit for you! Whether he meant it or not is up for debate, but the results remain the same: he erupts in a shower of ash and flames, you don’t. Not a bad deal!As you rapidly begin your final descent towards the central platform, you tell Ly to remind you to give Talbot, like, a handshake or something later–this crap might just work!“If we’re still breathin’ in five minutes I’ll consider it!” Shouts your skeleton as you activate your BONE ARMOR and prepare to land! As you feel the chitin wash over your body, however, your landing zone is obstructed when Teevor blinks in front of you with a fireball in hand!“I WIilLLll TEEAaR YOuUR MInnD ApAAR-”Channeling your inner brick, you tuck in and brace for impact as your armored body collides with the mage and, by extension, his fireball. Engulfed by a blinding light, a wave of searing pain rushes through you as you’re launched into the air once more!“STAAAAN!”Landing with a clang against the catwalk, you skid a few feet along the metal before you realize where you landed!“There it is!” Ly shouts as you feel your armor sink back into your tooth, “Da’ CONSOLE!”Doing your best to shrug off the pain, you hobble over to the mountain of meat and immediately get to work carving it open with your BONE CLAWS!“Eyes on da prize, cupcake,” Ly mutters as you dig through the foul-smelling offal, “We just gotta reset it and-”Yea, you nod, your heart beating like a drum, you got it, alright?! clearing away the flesh, you finally spot the screen––and a familiar GLOWING LEAF sitting in your hand…>CONTD.
>>5317628https://youtu.be/jt3zmsVAakQ”Ello ello, kitten…”Looking up from the leaf, you find the totem chamber shrouded in a deep green cloud–the demons frozen in place like figures in a wax museum. You try to blink, but you’re met with an almost unnatural lethargy–like you were wading through a sea of maple syrup. The faint scent of wild grass and towering trees tickles your nose as a pale hand with immaculate GREEN fingernails gently rests on your shoulder.“Never were one for being prompt, were you?” Remarks the hand’s owner as she peeks out from behind you to give you a jagged, toothy grin. “But we can hardly argue with the results…”SHANNON, you mutter, still finding it hard to move, what is she doing here?“Not much, really…” The fairy coos as she takes her time trotting over to the terminal sitting in front of you. “But that’s cuz’ we aren’t here–not fully, at least.” Poking her gloved hand through the face of the terminal like a ghost, the fairy stares at you with a look you can’t quite comprehend. “But thanks to YOU…” she continues as she gestures to you, “and people LIKE you, we stand to see quite a bit of, well, GROWTH in the near future.”The GLOWING LEAF flutters between your fingers.“But there are RULES, of course…” Shannon continues with an annoyed click of her tongue. “Borders to be avoided, names to respect… but people like you, Stanley,” she continues as she licks her sharp teeth, “Well, you’re the lifeblood of our entire operation.”Taking her place at your side once more, the hair on the back of your neck bristles as the fairy idly runs her fingers through your hair.“And that, my dear,” she continues, whispering into your ear, “makes you a very… VERY powerful girl… How’s that sound to you, hm?”Good, you shrug, but she’s talking about that JOB, isn’t she? The one where-“We’re not just talking about a JOB, Stanley…” The fairy interjects with a groan, “we’re talking about your… well, your FUTURE.”Appearing in front of you, the fairy stares you down with her glowing GREEN EYES.“We know you’re not one for CONTRACTS… for LITERATURE. So all that’s left now is a… let’s call it a ‘gentlemen’s agreement’, yes? No more pithy agreements or clauses…”As long as you finish the job, huh?“Right on the first try, kitten.” Taking the opportunity to adjust your hat and collar, the fairy looks up at the TOTEM and sighs. “And to think this will be your final freelancer task… we’d cry if we could…”Mimicking tears, Shannon turns your way with a Cheshire grin on her pale face. “This one’s a cakewalk, kitten: just take that trinket there…” she explains, pointing to the LEAF fluttering in your hand, “and put it right THERE.” She concludes, pointing a gloved finger at the terminal. “Easy as one, two, love.”>CONTD.
>>5317629Easy as one two, huh?“Practically easier.” The fairy shrugs. “It’s not sweeping up BONE DUST, mind, but we think you’ll find it quite rewarding…”Returning her smile with a frown, you ask just what’ll happen when you uh, pull the trigger here.“Why, you get the JOB, of course!” Shannon giggles as she excitedly bites her lip! “And don’t worry–this minor… infestation… will be dealt with simultaneously.”This JOB, you echo, what’s a day in the life like?“Couldn’t say, kitten,” The fairy replies, “you’ve seen what we’ve had you do–think of it like that… but on a much, much, MUCH larger scale.” Shannon raises a GREEN eyebrow your way. “And the benefits, well, we’ve never heard any complaints.”Let’s say you’re interested, you continue, when would you start?“Why, you already have, kitten.” Smirks the fairy with a flit of her wings. “And being a full-time job, you’d be expected to start, well, IMMEDIATELY.” She adds with a pointed stare. “Nose to the grindstone, and whatnot.”Weighing the fairy’s words, a few more come to mind–most notably Sybil’s and her constant warnings against dealing with these creeps.“We understand it’s a rather BIG decision, kitten,” The fairy coos as she leans against the side of the totem with a smile on her face, “But not to worry–we’ve got aaaallll the time in the world.”Taking one last glance around the chamber, you find that neither demon nor pal has moved since you started your conversation.“So,” she purrs, “Shall we?”>WE SHALL! USE THE LEAF!>NAH! YOU’LL PASS!>ACTUALLY, YOU’D LIKE TO NEGOTIATE A LITTLE BIT!>CAN YOU GET BACK TO HER LATER?>YOU WANT SOME MORE DETAILS FIRST!>WRITE-IN!That's it for tonight, folks--getting tired on my end and I don't wanna force these next few updates. Should have more for ya SUNDAY AROUND 11-12PM PST, THEN LATER ON IN THE DAY! Thanks as always for playing!
>>5317631>YOU WANT SOME MORE DETAILS FIRST!
>>5317631>>YOU WANT SOME MORE DETAILS FIRST!
>>5317631>CAN YOU GET BACK TO HER LATER?If she says no then refuse. The Atlanteans were supposed to have been enemies of the Fae. Assuming we can free him from possession, Teevor might be able to help us be done with this once and for all.
>>5317631>>5317665Adding this to my vote.
>>5317631> THROW THE LEAF DOWN THE SHAFTHumanity is kept safe by all these supernatural goons tripping on each other. Giving one a backdoor into another's security destabilizes that safety
>>5317691I like the way you think, anon. If it comes down to us refusing, let’s do it like this.
>>5317631>CAN YOU GET BACK TO HER LATER?
>>5317651>>5317658>>5317695>DETAILS, PLEASE!>>5317665>>5317672>>5317797>BACK TO HER LATER?Writing!
Holding the eerily-glowing LEAF in your hand like the key to a rabid gorilla’s cage, you bite your lip before daring to ask a quick question of your mysterious business partner:Geez, you mutter as you idly scratch the back of your head, you’re uh… you’ve got a lot going on right now… a LOT…“... Then why not cross an item off the ole’ TO-DO LIST and USE THAT LEAF?” Shannon replies with a wry grin. “Surely you can’t be having second thoughts after all the other jobs you’ve performed for us… and so admirably, too!”Yea, well, you giggle with a tinge of nervousness, any chance you could, like… get back to her a little later? Rain check?For a second the fairy stares at you like a cat about to pounce on a mouse. By the time you’re done blinking, however, Shannon is all-smiles again!“‘Course, love, what kind of organization would we be if we didn’t work around our employee’s schedules?”You can’t help but frown at her pronunciation of the word ‘schedule’, but you leave it for now.“Naturally we can see that you’re busy, so please… take all the time you’d like!” Placing an unnaturally cold hand on your shoulder, the fairy flicks the green bangs out of her face before staring you directly in the eye once more. “Just place that old leaf of yours on the console for us and we’ll track you down later… we always do!” Giving you a friendly wink, the fairy gently pushes you in the direction of the TOTEM. Okay, buuuuut, you interrupt, earning an impatient eye roll from your ‘boss’, you’d like a few more details first, if she doesn’t mind.“What more needs to be said, kitten?” Shannon purrs as she raises her eyebrow. “The LEAF goes on the CONSOLE, you get the JOB, WE get the TOTEM–you’re acting VERY obstinate for someone who didn’t bat an eyelash at the last few jobs we gave you…” The fairy suspiciously eyes you up and down. “But it’s only natural, of course–you humans are SO so curious…”Shannon finishes her sentence with a knowing grin. “And you know what they say about curiosity and cats… but where are our manners? We’ve waited quite a while for this moment–what’s a few more, hm?”Taking a seat on the edge of the console, the fairy stretches her wings a little bit as she crosses one leg over another. “Shoot, kitten.”[YOU PROBABLY CAN ASK UP TO THREE QUESTIONS BEFORE BUGGING HER…]>WHAT WILL THIS LEAF DO, EXACTLY?>WHAT IF I SAY NO TO THIS JOB?>DO YOU HAVE BEEF WITH THE ATLANTEANS? >WHAT DOES YOUR ORGANIZATION ACTUALLY DO?>WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO MY PALS IF I TAKE THIS OFFER?>GIMME MORE INFO ON THIS JOB, DAMN IT!>ACTUALLY, I’M READY TO MAKE A CHOICE!>WRITE-IN!
>>5318078>>WHAT WILL THIS LEAF DO, EXACTLY?>WHAT DOES YOUR ORGANIZATION ACTUALLY DO?>WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO MY PALS IF I TAKE THIS OFFER?
>>5318089This works.
>>5318089>>5318200>LEAF?>ORGANIZATION?>PALS?Works for me too! Writing!
>>5318216My theory is that all memories of Stan will be erased if she takes the job.
First thing’s first, you begin as you lean against a nearby golem frozen in place, her… organization–what do they DO anyways? You always thought fairies were, like, spunky little critters that restored your health and talked your ears off–why the shift?“Many do.” The fairy replies with a knowing nod. “And that, kitten, suits us quite well, actually–folk tend to underestimate cute, kind, and bubbly things… I’m sure you’re well aware of that already.”You respond with a confused blink. Yea, maybe, but that still doesn’t answer your question!“It doesn’t, does it?” Shannon replies with mock disappointment. “Truth is, love, that little picture of us in your mind? It’ll have to remain unfinished.” Explains the fairy with a halfhearted shrug. “Trade secrets, mind.” Rising from her seat, Shannon takes a few slow steps towards you. “If we HAD to explain, however, you might liken us to a… CONCIERGE, of sorts.”You frown. Like… like at a hotel?“Spot on, love.” Replies the fairy with a proud smile. “Thanks to various… misconceptions,” She continues, “along with our wide reach, we pride ourselves on our ability to get whatever the clients want… for a nominal fee, mind.”And uh, you interject, what exactly do these ‘clients’ want, usually?“Depends.” Shannon shrugs before counting out a few on her fingers. “Some clients want information: which windows tend to be left unlocked, the hour the guards change, the passwords for a security system, to name a few examples. Then there’s MAGIC, of course… we take it your… partner… is enjoying his powers?”You reluctantly nod–sometimes you forget Ly’s abilities were all thanks to these little tasks you performed… sometimes you forget a LOT of stuff, though…What were you thinking about?“And then we have the more, well, unsavory tasks…” The fairy concludes in a grim tone. “You understand, of course, that we can’t disclose THOSE details, yes?”You respond with a frown–they can’t, or they won’t?“Exactly. Suffice it to say, kitten, that our organization has its fingers in a great deal of ‘pies’... and business, as they say, is BOOMING.”Returning to her seat on the console, Shannon concludes with a noncommittal flap of her gossamer wings. “And here you are standing on the precipice of being a part of it all, you lucky ducky.”Yea, lucky you…>CONTD.
>>5318347Armed with your newfound info, you follow up your previous question by waving the GLOWING LEAF at the fairy. So lemme guess, you begin as the plant matter sheds thousands of glowing little specks onto your arm, this is one of those ‘unsaferty’ tasks she described, right?“This, kitten,” Shannon replies in a matter-of-fact tone, “Is more of an in-house task… like delivering mail to coworkers. Or expanding our reach exponentially. The metaphor gets messy, but you get the picture.”Yea, you nod, and you’re betting this job is closer to the second example, isn’t it?“Can’t get anything past you, kitten.” Replies the fairy with a toothy grin. “As the fossil no doubt described to you already, this DEVICE you see before you amplifies MAGICAL POWER by a tremendous amount–like a broadcasting antenna.”Right, you reply, and if the situation around you is any indication, you can get into a whole lotta’ trouble with it, too!“Indeed you can!” Says Shannon with a low chuckle. “These DEMONS around you? Your UNDEAD friends? That DOME holding you all hostage? None of them would be possible without this amplifier–well, they WOULD,” She pivots, “but it would be quite the strain on the one holding it all together.”So if you turn it off, you add, pieces falling into place in your head, TIM would have to work harder to keep things going, right?“Yes, if you’re talking about who we think you are.” The fairy shrugs. “But you aren’t going to shut it down, nor are you going to restart it without doing a little MAGIC TRICK first!”A knowing smirk forms on your face. So THIS is where the LEAF comes in, hm?“When you attach it to the console,” Shannon explains, “something will take root within the device. It’ll be subtle, at first, but eventually our little gift will grow, and before anyone can do anything about it, the TOTEM will belong to us.” The fairy looks your way with a smug grin on her face. “I think you can imagine why that’d be beneficial.”Alright, you shrug, but what about the current residents, huh? Or people who find it later on?“Well you’re here, aren’t you?” She retorts, “That must mean the current tenants won’t be hanging around much longer.” Leaning back on her perch a bit, the fairy takes a quick breath before continuing. “As for others, well, we don’t care much for TOURISTS… we’re rather good at hiding in plain sight, however, so we don’t foresee it becoming much of an issue. Not soon, at any rate.”Bringing the LEAF closer to your face, you scrutinize it a bit for any sign of evil or switches. Plug this in, you mutter to yourself, and they get the keys to the car…“Brilliant, isn’t it?” Shannon laughs. “The bigger the universe gets, the easier it becomes to control...”>CONTD.
>>5318349One more thing, you add, prompting the fairy to let loose a frustrated sigh.“Now kitten, we understand your reservations, but this… THIS is NOT the time to get cold feet!”Yea, well, you retort, standing firm against the fairy’s impatience, she keeps talking about this JOB of hers as if it’s some POINT OF NO RETURN-“Well no one’s ever resigned from it!” The fairy smiles, “So we must be doing SOMEthing right!”That’s cool and all, you deflect, but you’re still worried about, well, your pals. And your family.“Oh kitten,” Shannon groans with mock disappointment, “You’re a spectacular candidate, but your memory, it’s…” Interrupting herself with a flustered sigh, she looks your way with mild irritation on her face. “We’ve talked about this already, love. Your friends will be fine…”Sure, you counter, unless they become a problem, right? As the words leave your mouth, the fairy’s expression darkens.“Why Stanley Parble,” she begins in a grim tone, “Why on Earth would any of them become a problem?”Lingering on the last word, Shannon drums her fingers on the console for a moment before continuing. “You really ought to be more confident, kitten–we chose you because we saw potential. If we wanted, say, Sybil Castellanos, Arthur Berry, or Mitzi Muldoon,” she explains, counting off the names on her fingers, “we would have reached out to them long ago!” A predatory grin slowly forms on her pale face. “But we understand your concerns, Stanley Parble, and we give you our utmost guarantee that we won’t touch a hair on their heads… or their family’s heads. Or their close associate’s heads…”Her expression darkens.“... unless they become a problem. But they won’t become a problem, will they, kitten?” She concludes, cocking her head to the side with a pleasant smile. “And neither will you!”You meet her gaze with a determined stare. No, you growl, no they won’t…“No need to get testy, kitten–just company policy!” Shannon laughs, waving your attitude away with her hand! “We’re not DEMONS, you know…” She adds, gesturing to the chaos frozen around you, “we just value secrecy, is all! You understand.”Yea, you frown, you think you’ve got a pretty decent picture now…>CONTD.
>>5318355“Brilliant,” The fairy remarks as she crosses her arms over her chest. “No doubt you still have many lingering questions for us, Stanley, but rest-assured all of them and more will be covered during your…” she lingers for a moment as she tries to find the correct word, “...Orientation.”Tapping her finger against the console, Shannon raises an expectant eyebrow your way with an increasingly-impatient look growing on her face. “But until then, well… don’t ‘LEAF’ us hanging!”The LEAF in question tingles between your fingers as the air around you becomes colder. You’re no expert on the subject, but something tells you this is one of the BIGGER CHOICES in your QUEST so far…The question is, what IS your choice?>USE THE LEAF. >LOSE THE LEAF.>TRY TO WIN YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS–DOUBLE OR NOTHING?>DO NOTHING.>WRITE-IN
>>5318359We certainly can't expect anymore boons from these bastards. Or anything beneficial for us for that matter.What kind of game would we have to play if we chose the 'TRY TO WIN OUT' option. The fairy will totally be onto us if we go with the 'Whoops, we dropped the leaf' route.
>>5318362Given this is a hefty choice:#1: You can certainly lose the leaf, but there will be consequences for breaking contract.#2: In the interest of creativity and those WRITE-INs I love so much from you guys, you will have a few choices to pick from if you wanna play... but you can write-in something as well.
>>5318378I see us losing something either way, whether it be people/possibly their memories of us or vice-versa/anything else the asshole fairies can think of... so even if whatever game we play becomes uncertain, at least, you know, we tried to wiggle out of it and fight the good fight.Going with this:>TRY TO WIN YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS–DOUBLE OR NOTHING?Can anyone name a good reason why we should use the leaf? QM included, perhaps.Would we be spirited out of Clearwater and leave our friends for good if we took the job?
>>5318385>Would we be spirited out of Clearwater and leave our friends for good if we took the job?We absolutely would. These things run the world like a mafia. They pull strings and hide in the shadows while they do it. We would be a tool for them to use and disposed of if it ever became more convenient to do so. To be entirely frank with you, I would literally trust the demon more than I trust these things. Demons are driven by basic, primal urges. Whatever principal or concept they’re based off of. Even a demon of knowledge would ultimately have no more inimical a purpose than to know everything it could, and in doing so it’s schemes and plays can only become so complex. The desires and drives of the Fae, by contrast, are so completely inscrutable that we would likely never truly know it in its entirety. They’re both predators. The difference is that the demon would just consume our soul. These things would put us through foul labors, steal our personality and everything we know, leave us hollow, and then break our neck once we grew disillusioned with it all, or when we were no longer worth the cost of keeping around and well after we had ruined the lives of countless others.As >>5317691 said, these things want to take advantage of the Atlanteans and the demons they’ve summoned. Remove another player that can put up a fight in their game. The demons might even be a tool the Atlanteans brought about in a last ditch measure to keep the fairies from doing exactly what they want us to do right now. We already know the sea-witch bound that enormously powerful sea demon to her cause. That had to have been dangerous beyond measure. Those cannons they made can barely even scratch that demon. Can you even begin what kind of threat had the Atlanteans so worried that they would go so far as to take the risk of summoning a creature like that to defend them? The only way mankind wins this is if we keep all the bigger players fighting each other long enough for us to find a leg to stand on. To even the playing field. Equalize the odds. We take their offer and we help them worm their puppet strings into more of the human world. Break us down and use us to their ends in this cosmic game we know nothing about. Like I said, we would become a tool to be used.>NAH! YOU’LL PASS!Get rid of the leaf. The fairies aren’t all powerful, else they would have done these things themselves. They’re aren’t unbeatable. They aren’t unkillable. Else they would have won their game a long time ago. We don’t need to be afraid of them. We can beat them if we’re smart. We’ve already done too much work for them. Even the rewards they gave us is something we could likely acquire through other means, know that we can access the knowledge of the Atlanteans. Do away with their “offer.”
>>5318472You know what? Your reasoning sounds like fifty times better than mine, and you deserve a damn Nobel Prize for it-- I only had a 15% confidence we would beat the fairies at their own game, to which we would lose miserably and then the quest would unceremoniously come to a close with a TIM/FAE victory.Switching to this vote tentatively >>5318472, unless another anon gives a better reason to either a) do the leafy thing b) play a game of wits with our prospective CEO.
>>5318472Supporting this.
>>5318472>>5318482>>5318515>LOSE THE LEAF.Writing!
The leaf tickles your fingers as you weigh your choices. To think one little LEAF could do so much… Loosening your grip on the plant a bit, a slight giggle escapes your lips. Heh, wouldn’t it be hilarious if it just slipped away?The air around you grows deathly cold.Yea, you think (thankfully) to yourself, it sure would… “Kitten…” Shannon murmurs, clearly noticing your hesitation, “Would it help if we showed you how to apply it?”No, you mutter, and your name isn’t ‘KITTEN.’Lifting your hand higher in the tree-scented breeze, you look the fairy dead in the eye with a menacing glare of your own. You know, you begin, when it comes down to it, this demon you’re dealing with isn’t that bad!“Stanley…” Growls Shannon, her voice rumbling like a leopard’s, “The LEAF.”Sure, they might have tried to tear you apart, you continue as you push off of the golem behind you and stroll idly, but you kinda like that about ‘em! Because at the end of the day, you conclude, taking a position next to the edge with the LEAF’S stem held loosely between your fingers, no matter what kind of gimmick they have or what they’re obsessed with, they can only get SO complicated!“We’re calling in that FAVOR you owe us-”Nuh-uh-uh, you interrupt, wagging your LEAF-bearing fingers dangerously close to the pit below, she’s had more than enough time to talk–now she’s gonna LISTEN! Though the air around you fills with faint, unintelligible whispering, Shannon regards you like a wild animal–her eyes glowing yellower with each passing moment!But you guys, you continue, you’re a bunch of sneaky, tricky little bastards! You should have picked up on it when she gave you that joke of a contract to sign, but you see it clearly now: her little fairy ‘organization’, if she can even call it that, is just another group of power-hungry dickheads trying to make everyone miserable!The GREEN fog around you fills with a chorus of shrieks and screaming!“Choose your next actions very… VERY… caref-”Choose THIS, BITCH!And with that, you let the leaf loose into the breeze!>CONTD.
>>5318579https://youtu.be/YuHPM6WrRe4“No…” Snarls the fairy as she watches the LEAF soar into the pit below, “Do you have even the SLIGHTEST idea of what you’ve done!?”Yea, you nod as you step out of Shannon’s way, you made your choice! Find a dumber mark next time!“You…” The fairy growls as she peers over the edge of the platform, “You… you BROKE CONTRACT…”Yea, you say with a nonchalant sniff, you did, didn’t you? Wiping the remaining leaf pollen on your hand onto your coveralls, you walk past your now ex-employer towards the console. Not that it was much of a contract to begin with–you didn’t even sign anything! And the crap you DID sign you did with your left hand, so-As your voice trails off, the sound of screams around you shifts into laughter: male, female, old, young, happy, manic–as the sound reverberates around the chamber, it eventually harmonizes with Shannon’s prone, laughing form on the edge of the platform!“You… you unrepentant FOOL!” She howls, bursting into a maddened bout of laughter, “You DARE spit in the face of THE FAE!?”Yea, you growl, extending your BONE CLAWS as the light dims around you, you do! And you’ll do it again if it makes her feel better! As you prepare for an imminent battle, the laughter in the air is joined by the crunch of splitting wood and the cries of a thousand animals!“YyYOUR TRrANSgrESSIon…” Hisses the fairy as she rises from the ground on stretched limbs and glowing yellow eyes, “ShHALL BE RrRemembered AS huMANiTY’S FfFINal MISTake IN THEir SHORT HIStTOrrY-”Standing at full height, Shannon towers over you in a monstrous form of shaggy fur, gaunt, gnarled appendages carved from ancient trees covered in mushrooms and foul-smelling moss! Towering over you like a redwood tree, The Fae looks down on you through the eyes of a long-dead beast’s skull topped with a grim collection of deer antlers!“THIssss…” It hisses menacingly over the din of laughing and screaming emanating from the mist, “WiILL BeeE OUr LAStt…. ‘CcORDIaL… MEeTING…”And in the blink of an eye, you see the abomination LUNGE!ROLL 1d100 TO DODGE!? I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5318581
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>5318581Flames and Iron! Fae are weak to both!If we have anything Iron in our inventory, use it!
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5318581Dice. We've had a long beautiful relationship together, and I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I don't blame you. Let's rock it.
>>5318585Could we uh...try for a counter attack? We get a bone-us to counter attacks right?
>>5318617I wanna crie. We had a good run, folks.
>>5318585>>5318615>>5318617>HIGHEST ROLL: 46!Oof, ouch! Welp, here I go writing a gruesome death scene! Say, you guys hear about that 'Boris' guy? He seems like good protag material, right?
>>5318581FLAMES AND IRON! Far are weak to both! If we can't dodge, we can use or armor to tank the blow!Our best bet Is probably to use the flamethrower to get her on the back foot, then tire iron and nail bombs to put the hurt on. Our holy water might even do her a lot of damage!
>>5318630I'm pissed man. I tried to get this up before bones counted the rolls for the boneus but my internet decided it wasn't to be. Probably god damn fairies.
>>5318632Sir, I believe your ID is GREEN.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOy6hqzfsAs
Taken by surprise by the swiftness of the attack, you can’t help but flinch–even with your BONE SPEED you barely have time to close your eyes before……… Nothing.“Well that’s a shame.”Opening your eyes once more, you find Shannon back in her, well, normalish form staring daggers at you with her glowing green eyes. Standing mere inches away from you, you peer down to find a semi-transparent hand poking through your chest! “Looks like you let go of that LEAF just in time, kitten… and we nearly lost our temper.”Retracting her rapidly fading hand from your body, the fairy looks at you again with a smug grin before turning around and walking away. “Don’t call us, please–we’ll call YOU.”Hey, you shout, where the hell does she think she’s goi-GURK!Before you can chase the fairy down, your vision swims and your stomach churns as your senses are overpowered by an intense wave of nausea! Stumbling to the platform floor, you crash onto your side as you feel a pain akin to a thousand Lil’ Stanleys tearing you open from the inside!“Come now, kitten–what did you expect? An all-or-nothing, action movie battle to save the day?” Shannon croons as she turns to watch you writhe in pain! “There’s an old human saying: ‘the most painful strike comes not from the front, but the side.’ We can’t recall who invented it, exactly, but we think it serves as a polite warning…”Opening your mouth to respond with something witty, your body takes the opportunity to expel whatever the heck’s eating away at your insides! As you spill your guts out all over the platform, your ex-employer trots over on her high boots one more time to watch you suffer.“Our reprisal, Stanley Parble, will NOT be a climactic battle worthy of song–it will be a slow, painful death… one seasoned with the misery of everyone you and your progeny will ever know and love…”Stooping down to your side as you continue to puke uncontrollably, Shannon’s rapidly-fading form gives you one last genial smile. “Look forward to it, kitten. Oh, and by the way… NONE OF THIS EVER HAPPENED.”Before you can get the last word, time catches back up to you.That and the DEMONS, of course.ABILITY PASTEBIN UPDATED!>CONTD.
>>5318666As reality sinks back in, you barely have time to wipe the bile from your lips as a FLYING GOLEM comes crashing onto the platform next to you! Scurrying to the side, you’re immediately launched back into the air as a FIREBALL blows up a section of platform next to you!“GgETtTING SECCoONDTHOOuuuUGHTS?!”Still wrestling with post–vomit indigestion, you look behind you to find a battle-singed TEEVOR blinking into existence holding a fresh pair of FIREBALLS in his bony mitts like watermelons!Not bothering to respond, you waste no time in rushing over to the hole you dug in the meat covering the console–the flesh in question already growing back!“Stan?” Groans Ly as you frantically tap the exposed screen, “I… I don’t feel too hot, kiddo…”Neither do you, you snarl, but you’ll deal with it in a bit! Sensing your touch, the monolith-like screen flickers to life where a hooded, skeletal figure waves at you!“Greetings, Stanley! I’ll admit I’m surprised you’re hearing this. I coded this terminal to react to your touch. I didn’t have much time, obviously, so this console is programmed to automatically run the REBOOT process! No time to waste, just press the button!”A comically-oversized blue button appears on the screen almost immediately. Sparing a quick glance behind you, you can barely see your friends over the mountain of golems swarming on their position!“STAN!” Shouts Talbot with unmistakable irritation, “TODAY, PLEASE!”With your stomach pains slowly subsiding, you slam your palm against the button and watch as the monolith fills up with a parade of alien code!“Hope…” Ly mutters as you feel something approach from behind, “Hope dat’ did it…”Pressure builds up in your ears as the TOTEM radiates light and energy from beneath its fleshy cocoon! Filling the chamber with a ear-splitting drone, you hear one last voice before everything disappears in a flash:“They wait…”>CONTD.
>>5318644>Sir, I believe your ID is GREEN.
>>5318668It takes you a while to recover. Chalking it up to the post-puke nausea and the fireballs tossing you around like a frisbee, you give yourself a few moments before opening your eyes again.Adjusting to the new blue-tinted lights, your eyes can barely believe themselves as you peer around a disheveled, but completely demon-free chamber!“WOOHOO!” Talbot roars from across the chasm, “THAT’S HOW YA’ DO IT!”As Lil’ Stanley joins him in a victory screech, you spot Art and Syb, uh… playing, well… ‘tonsil hockey’ amidst a pile of deactivated golems! Oof, now you’re nauseous again!“Dat…” Mutters Ly’s disembodied voice, “Dat’ was a close call, kiddo… one of da’ Top 10 in my book…”Responding with a weak chuckle, you instinctively draw your BONE CLAWS as a familiar figure emerges from a pile of rubble:“Oh good...” Teevor groans, his cloak hanging in tatters over his GOODBOYNIUM-COATED SKELETON, “We didn’t die. Hooray for me…”Before you can approach him, you hear a trill of beeps coming from the console you just activated. Raising an eyebrow in its direction, confusion builds as the ringing continues… some kind of communication, perhaps?You’re still rattled, but you probably ought to do something… sheesh your stomach stings!>ANSWER THE RINGING!>APPROACH TEEVOR–IS HE BACK TO HIS STUCK-UP SELF?>TRY TO FIND A PATH BACK TO YOUR PALS–YOU’RE KINDA STUCK RIGHT NOW!>WRITE-IN!That's all for tonight, by the way--got plans until later and they're starting soon! Should have more for you guys MONDAY AROUND 11-12PM PST! Thanks for playing and for making a rough decision--there were a few ways that could have gone and well...... yea, I'm not sayin' nothin'. Save it for the post-quest QA sesh, dudes!
>>5318673>TRY TO FIND A PATH BACK TO YOUR PALS–YOU’RE KINDA STUCK RIGHT NOW!The ringing is probably the witch. Frankly, I've had enough of inter-dimensional entities for a while.
>>5318673>>TRY TO FIND A PATH BACK TO YOUR PALS–YOU’RE KINDA STUCK RIGHT NOW!
>>5318673> Ask Teevor if he wants a Klingon promotion.
>>5318809Fuck yes. This. We defeat the witch and have Teevor take over.
Well, in a surprise to no one we've not only lost but also forgotten we ever had our Ly oriented powers. And if that's the worst of it we'll probably be ahead.
>>5318882Well, guess Ly is stuck in our body for the rest of the quest. Fairy bastards even stole the boneus we got before we did all those errands for them.
>>5318882Blame whatever retards decided to work with the fae long before I caught up with the quest. That kiwi colored bitch is gonna go on a ride when she realizes how much she should’ve picked somebody else to use as a puppet.
>>5318893Can’t tell which boneus we’re missing. Which is it?
>>5318895Yeah not my fault either. We were already on the Army guy when I caught up.
>>5318897>Lyd The Way: Talk about an OUT OF BODY experience! Ly can stretch out from your body at a short range to peek around corners! Even better, seems like only magical people can notice him!Getting rid of the range and possession upgrades were one thing but trapping Ly in our body was completely uncalled for. Hopefully we can get ourselves a nice oversized fly swatter for when we get our revenge on them.
>>5318900I didn’t even show up until just before the cabin sleep-over. Way too late for any of that. But no point spitting invectives over things that happened so long ago. We’ve got to work on mitigating the backlash and figuring out how to become a threat.I’ve got a worrying suspicion that our premonition of the Lodge burning up will have something to do with this. But in the grand scheme, even a thousand people dying is a drop of water in a lake at this point; I still stand by my earlier belief that whatever could come from this could not be worse than whatever would’ve happened from our cooperation.
It's going to be awkward, but I think we should see if the witch can give us a hand. The fae are a shared enemy, and one much more menacing than us. Even if we kill her, she'll probably delight in sticking to the fae.
>>5318949It might be worth considering. I still like your idea of getting Teevor to take her mantle much better. We know he’s trustworthy. He put himself at risk of being subsumed by the demon for eternity in our aid. Let’s see what he has to say on the matter himself. He might have an even better idea.
>>5318673>ANSWER THE RINGING!You know, guys, I feel like the Fae Realm has much more secrets than lil' ol' Earth, you catch my drift?
>>5318678>>5318685>PATH TO PALS!>>5318809>HEY TEEVOR...>>5319050>ANSWER THE RINGING!Writing! Sorry, all, shit came up as it always does. Kinda tired on my end, but I think I've got a few updates in me! Thanks for being patient!
Putting your dealing of the no longer demonic skeleton mage on hold, you instead focus on a more immediate issue: namely the fact that in all of the chaos, confusion, and hijinks that just occurred, your route back to them was crushed into scrap!So much so, in fact, that it gives you an idea! Bringing your BACKUUM 1000 to bear on the hunks of ex-walkway floating around the chamber, you get to work maneuvering them into an ad-hoc bridge like you were playing one of those early 2000’s physics engine puzzle games!… damn water physics!As one of the pieces glitches out and starts spiraling in place at near-light speed, you’re just about to reload from a previous save when your pals finally get wind of what you’re trying to do!Having finished sucking eachother’s dumb faces, Art and Sybil get to work in helping you whip up a fresh bridge–the former blasting rubble in the right direction with his HOMING STAFF, the latter moving them bit-by-bit with TELEKINESIS!Having neither of those things, Talbot sticks to the more tried and true method of chucking things into place with his METALLIC TENDRILS. Having none of the above, Lil’ Stanley acts as a chittering, fuzzy foreman… err, foreraccoon, and helps the janitor remember where to put everything, which exponentially speeds up the process, if you can believe it.As you and your friends use the power of TEAMWORK and BASIC CONSTRUCTION KNOWLEDGE, the TOTEM dominating the chamber hums and glows with a pulsing blue light. That witch doesn’t waste any time, huh?“Tell me about it…” Ly croaks, still recovering from Puke-a-palooza. “Here’s hopin’ she ain’t riggin’ da’ place ta’ blow, or somethin’. I ain’t in da’ mood for any more chases…”Amen to that, you nod as you watch your pals make their way over the finished bridge, you’re already on Thread 17 of this crap, and even that’s pushing it!“Thank the gods you’re okay!”Blinking out of thin air in front of you with a relieved grin on her pale, yet still somewhat flushed face, Sybil immediately tackles you into a hug and holds you there until you tap out! Watch the tits, slut!“Are you well?” She asks, relenting, but still holding you at arm’s length as the other morons arrive. “You looked, well, ill before activating the console…”Yea, you shrug, probably just, like, SEA FLUE or something!“Probably.” Talbot nods knowingly. “That stuff hits hard.”>CONTD.
>>5319717“Alrighty then,” Art interjects as he surreptitiously adjusts his helmet and mask, “So that takes care of our end of the bargain…” He pauses to glance at the TOTEM in the center of the chamber. “... so now the ball’s in the WITCH’S court.”“Hey, betcha’ ten bucks she goes back on the deal!” Talbot laughs, prompting the rest of the circle including the raccoon on his shoulder to sigh knowingly.“What?” He asks, clearly out of the loop, “We dunno what she’s planning! It’s still up in the air, guys!”“Speaking of up in the air,” Art remarks as he turns towards the skeleton mage currently trying to creep away, “That guy was chucking quite a few FIREBALLS at us–you think he’s focused enough to use some other spells now too?”“Errr, no!” Teevor sputters, his escape plan dashed on the floor before his very eyes, “Still can’t focus–that means no magic! Drat, ha ha!”Wiggling his bony fingers in the air to demonstrate his point, something in your face clearly doesn’t express trust, so he continues speaking.“A-and for what it’s worth, humans, I was POSSESSED back there! When I was whisked away on that elevator by the COLLECTOR, I immediately set to work preparing the console for a reboot! Y-you saw it yourself, yes?”Yea, you nod, dude made sure it was really easy…“But it’s not like he isn’t benefiting from the DEMONS being gone, right?” Art counters as he keeps his HOMING STAFF trained on the skeleton. “He didn’t exactly do it out of the kindness of his heart, you guys.”“Well you’re not entirely incorrect, no,” Teevor stammers, clearly losing the audience, “But do my reasons have to be mutually exclusive? Hmm?”“Mooshoo Lee or not,” Talbot replies as Lil’ Stanley backs him up with a menacing growl, “You’re not runnin’ off without our say-so, dork.”“Stanley?” Sybil asks, turning to you for a decision. Well if you have to make another one…>KILL TEEVOR. DUDE’S GONNA TURN ON YOU FIRST CHANCE HE GETS!>TELL TEEVOR TO GET OUTTA HERE! THINGS ARE GONNA GET MESSY!>TRY TO WIN TEEVOR OVER–YOU COULD USE A GUY WHO KNOWS HIS WAY AROUND!>ASK TEEVOR WHAT HE PLANS ON DOING NOW!>WRITE-IN!
>>5319723>TRY TO WIN TEEVOR OVER–YOU COULD USE A GUY WHO KNOWS HIS WAY AROUND!How would he like to be the new head scholar?
>>5319723>TRY TO WIN TEEVOR OVER–YOU COULD USE A GUY WHO KNOWS HIS WAY AROUND!Tell him there’ll be a position in his facility opening up once we go visit the witch. After all, she left him and his colleagues out to die while she huddled safely in her office. He’s seen what we’re capable of. Tim won’t be around much longer, and we have another mutual enemy that we’d like to discuss dealing with.
>>5319723>TRY TO WIN TEEVOR OVER–YOU COULD USE A GUY WHO KNOWS HIS WAY AROUND!
>>5319732>>5319763>>5319809>TALK IT OUT, BITCH!Looks like we're gonna try to get Teevor to cooperate some more... ROLL ME 1d100+10 (+5 BUNNY SUIT, +5 CINNAMON SUGAR SCENT) TO CONVINCE HIM! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 85 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5319825
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5319825
Roll a 1, accidently kill Teevor with a particular expressive gesture of the old bone claws.
Rolled 99 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5319825nat1>>5319836I have no hope after this last schtick with the fairy bitch.
>>5319838WTF I HAVE HOPE NOW?
>>5319841>>5319838None shall defy our might. Alone, we are prone to misconception and mistakes. Together, we are many minds with greater knowledge.
>>5319832>>5319835>>5319838>HIGHEST ROLL: 109!!!!! YOOOOWWWZAAA!Now THAT'S a roll! Writing!>>5319836Don't be so unrealistic, anon--this idea doesn't even have Art dying in it.>>5319841I hope you know I'm shamelessly pilfering this gif for regular use. You have my thanks, anon.>>5319864Ya love to see it, folks.
>>5319881You rub your chin in thought as the skeleton mage visibly debates hopping off the platform. You’re not sure who this ‘MUSHU LEE’ is, you mutter to yourself, but he ain’t important!“Are…” Teevor stammers, his gaze shifting between you and Sybil, “She’s retarded, right? You let her walk around without a leash?”What’s IMPORTANT, you continue, fighting back the urge to punt the mage’s skull into the stratosphere, is him... and his NEW TITLE, that is!“New wha?” Asks Teevor as he cocks his hooded head to the side, “Listen, I-”Whether getting rid of the demons helped or not, he still chose to help out, you reason, earning a few nods from Talbot and Lil’ Stanley. I mean, this dude coulda’ ran away the minute he got up here!“That option’s still on the table, you know.” Art remarks as he keeps his weapon trained on the mage.And you could have burned him to a crisp when he was possessed, you counter, but you didn’t! “True,” The mage mutters with a slow nod of his head, “what point are you trying to make here, human?”You point, you sigh angrily, is that when you were working to fix this whole mess, where the hell was his beloved HIGH SCHOOLER, huh? Where was she when he and the others were trapped by the lockdown!?“Well she was merely following standard lockdown procedures…” Teevor explains, “And she knew you’d come eventually to get her, so-”Yea, you snarl, more like she was following standard BULLSHIT procedures!“Hah! Nice.” Talbot chuckles as a big, dumb grin forms on his face. Ignoring him, you wordlessly walk over to Teevor and offer him a HAND! It sounds to me, you continue, like this facility could use a new HYPE CRULLER– one who isn’t going to throw all of his associates to the wolves like a… like a dick!“But…” The mage stammers in disbelief, “We’re THRALLS of the LICH– what do you stand to gain from keeping any of us alive?”It’s not about what you Stan to gain, you reply, but what HE gets outta’ the deal! Shaking your extended hand a few times in his face, you raise an eyebrow his way. Speaking of deals…“Yes…” Murmurs the skeleton with growing confidence, “Y-YES! Okay, human–I accept!”Cool, you grin! Welcome aboard!…“Erm…” He continues, “What… what are you going to do with your hand?”Oh brother, you groan, do you really not know what a handshake is!?“No…” Replies your new teammate, “Tell me how to perform ‘The Ceremony of the Hand Shake.’”Alrighty…>CONTD.
>>5319913After a few trial runs and non-stop ringing from the TOTEM CONSOLE,, you reach a point where Teevor FINALLY gets the hang of it! Alright, freak, you snarl as you snatch your hand out of his, no more handshaking! We’ve got stuff to do!“Indeed,” The mage nods as he stares intently at his bony hand, “HIGH SCHOLAR IZITHA has no doubt already begun summoning the next demon.”“Hang on a sec…” Talbot mutters before taking a scoop of water outside of his SEA CLOAK’S bubble and stuffing it into his mouth! “Dude, that water’s crawling with DEMON juic-”Interrupting Art with a dramatic spittake, Talbot looks at your new recruit with an incredulous glare! “What the HELL do you mean, ‘NEXT DEMON!?’”Having spent a lot of time around Denise, your body automatically zones out a little when a nerd starts to talk–it’s gotten you out of a lot of really dull crap with both her and Sybil! Because of that, though, Talbot’s reiteration of Teevor’s explanation causes your heart to skip a beat! Yea, you sputter, what HE said!“Yes, well,” Teevor continues, still utterly flabbergasted by Talbot’s dramatic gesture, “Before the lockdown occurred, she was intent on summoning a particularly powerful demon into this dimension: THE DWELLER IN THE DEEP. They erm,” he mutters, idly tugging at his tattered red cloak, “They have good rapport, you see.”“You don’t mean the DEMON who lent her that FIEND that was patrolling the sea before!?” Sybil asks, taken aback!“Yes, I do mean.” Nods Teevor. “But it’s not all bad–that one’s been ejected from this plane thanks to the device reboot, an-”Oh sonnovaBITCH! Not bothering to hear the rest, you snap into action!>RUSH TO THE TOTEM AND RESET IT A FEW MORE TIMES! NOT ON YOUR WATCH, BITCH!>START KICKING ONE OF THE GOLEMS! YOU WANNA SPEAK TO THEIR MANAGER!>SHAKE TEEVOR UNTIL HE TELLS YOU HOW TO TRACK HER DOWN!>ANSWER THAT ANNOYING-ASS RINGING ON THE CONSOLE! THAT HAD BETTER BE HER!>ACTUALLY… JUST WAIT AND LET TEEVOR FINISH, GOSH!>CRY! IT GOT YOU OUT OF A SPEEDING TICKET ONCE!>RUSH OFF TO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM! YOU GOTTA FIND A TELEPORTER!>WRITE-IN!
>>5319915>>ANSWER THAT ANNOYING-ASS RINGING ON THE CONSOLE! THAT HAD BETTER BE HER!
>>5319915>ANSWER THAT ANNOYING-ASS RINGING ON THE CONSOLE! THAT HAD BETTER BE HER!
>>5319919>>5319932>>5319942>>5319959>PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE!Writing!
Fueled by MILD IRRITATION, you swoop over to the console like a pissed-off hawk and slap your palm onto the flashing box on the screen! AHOY HOY?!A moment later, the sound of clutter moving around on the other end is quickly followed by a familiar, and very condescending voice from within the monolith:“Oh, eet’s you. And here I was thinkink you had died.”Yea, hi, bitch! She called you, by the way!“Yea, hi, bitch, I called at least three meenutes ago, and yes, I calculated that.” Replies the witch in an unamused tone! “Why would I want to try callink your preemitive carcass if-ah, that explains it.”Hearing another shuffle of what you assume to be some sort of FUTURISTIC DESK CLUTTER, you hear the faint sound of another feminine voice whining in pain!“Update, preemitive: my assesstent in words only RHODI here fat-feengered the call button and forgot to hank up–quite a miraculous feat weeth no fat left on her feengers, but here she ees doing eet…”Pausing to release a drawn-out and clearly disappointed sigh, the witch continues.“Then again, you preemitives managed to reset the, ahem, ‘TOTEM’, as you call eet, and leeved to tell the tale, so I can only assume rational conclusions are on holiday today. How lucky for you...”Cut the crap, you snarl, you know what she’s up to!Izzie responds with a dismissive chuckle. “Oh? And what, pray tell, ees that?”More DEMONS, that’s what, you exclaim! She wants to summon some LURKER or something! Didn’t she learn her lesson from, like, two seconds ago!?“No, stupid, I learned eet centuries ago.” She retorts in a no-nonsense tone. “I’ve been workeenk with demons long before your preemitive race developed leembs.” She snarls, “And as eet so happens, THE DWELLER EEN THE DEEP happens to be my teeket out of thees loathsome unlife of servitude.”You blink in confusion. How, exactly?“Well I’d love to tell you,” the witch explains in a matter-of-fact voice, “but it suddenly occurred to me that I don’t… how do I put thees? Hm…”The witch pauses as you hear something light tapping against a surface.“Oh, right: I don’t need you alive any more. So while I finish preparing for our next guest,” she explains in an increasingly-grim tone, “I’ll do you a small favor and put you preemitives out of your collecteev misery before he tears thees world apart. Toodles, now.”>CONTD.
>>5320025WAIT, you snarl as you press your face against the console, she promised you an AUDIENCE!“D’oh, you’re right–how seelly of me.” The witch replies with mock regret in her voice. “Oh wait, no you’re not: I promeesed you an audience, but I never said I’d help you GET there. Stupid.”Filling the totem chamber with a long, hollow laugh, the witch takes a moment to compose herself as your friends approach the console too.“Not my fault eef you’re late to the meeting, now ees eet? Goodbye, Stanley,” She chuckles, “You and your preemitive band of rodents have been very helpful. Speakink of…” She continues as the deactivated golems on the platforms around you begin to jostle with activity, “Teevor.”“H-HIGH SCHOLAR!” He sputters from the back of the group, “Th-they captured me–I w-was-”“Congratulations, stupid, you helped the preemitives too much.” Izzie drones with barely a hint of enthusiasm in her tone. “You’re hereby demoted to the poseetion of LAY CUSTODIAN for beink so dumb it was bordeline treasonous.”The glow in Teevor’s eyes fades to a nigh-imperceptible level. “N-no… no, I-”“You can start by deesposink of your new friend’s remains.” The witch barks. “No slackink, now…”With that last word, the line goes dead on the console and is immediately replaced by a string of flashing red symbols followed by the few doors you can see locking themselves behind those toothlike barriers from earlier!“Hate to say I toldja’ so, guys,” Talbot mutters as the army of golems in the chamber slowly reassembles itself, “But I tol-”“Be stupid later!” Sybil barks before spinning to face Teevor’s nigh-catatonic form! “Teevor, where is she going?!”Yea, you add with a frantic nod, and how do you get there?!“Well,” he stammers, still flatfooted from what just transpired, “There’s, erm-”“LOOK OUT!”Heeding Ly’s warning, you whip around just in time to come face-to-face with a charging golem!ROLL ME 1d100+10 (+5 BUNNY SUIT,+5 BONE SPEED) TO NOT GET GOT! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS! (+5 BONEUS IF YOU ATTEMPT TO COUNTER!)
That's where we're stopping tonight, folks--today was pretty busy earlier and I'm bushed. Will write some more TUESDAY AROUND 11-12PM PST... AND THIS TIME I MEAN IT, HONEST! Hope to see you then and thanks as always for playing!
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5320026Jump on a golem and use our magic tire iron snake to hack it! That's how that works right?
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>5320041supporting this
Rolled 71 + 15 (1d100 + 15)>>5320026Ram it! Full speed ahead!
>>5320041This.
>>5320041>>5320056>>5320061>HIGHEST ROLL: 86 (With counter boneus. Man, that's OP)Writing!
Your big bro once told you that if you want to avoid getting hit, you need to move like water! Heeding his advice, you do what water does when someone knocks it over and immediately drop to the floor!Mid-fall, however, you swiftly draw your TIRE IRON from your pocket–its end still hissing and squirming with that weird snake thing on the end! Man, that’s wack!Oh right, the counterattack. So as you drop below the homicidal brick’s attack, you stab your MAGIC TIRE SNAKE IRON THING directly into the golem’s heart–where you think it’d be, at least–and are immediately rewarded when the snake’s jaws latch onto, well… something!As the sentry continues to fly past you, the snake’s head yanks a ball of MAGICAL ENERGY out from the golem’s chest and holds it in its mouth like a scaly golden retriever! Watching the snake proudly holding its new treat between its sparking teeth, you barely notice when your attacker unceremoniously crashes into the side of the TOTEM like your uncle’s pickup truck when he’s on another bender!“That’s…” Art mutters as your attention hops between your tire iron and the collapsed golem, “New.”Before you can poke Talbot with it, though, the golem’s torso rises from the ground and lunges! Taken by surprise, you’re just about to shove Art in front of you when a wave of force hurls the sentry’s parts off the platform and into the abyss below! Blinking in confusion, you and the others turn to find Teevor staring at his hands as if they were holding a whole litter of puppies!“I… I DID it!” He stammers, barely able to hold in his excitement, “I concentrated and cast a SPELL! again!” Rising his bony arms skyward in triumph, the mage lets loose a victorious laugh!“I… I’M ALIVE AGAIN!”“Oh look” Ly remarks, “Da mage is goin' kookoo. What a surprise.”Don't be racist, Ly.>CONTD.
>>5320642Shoving a few more flying golems away with magical force, the mage is almost shocked when you impatiently tap him on the shoulder! Hello, you growl, you’re happy for him and all, but you’d really like an answer to that question!“Oh… right.” He mutters with slight embarrassment in his tone. “Well if the HIGH SCHOLAR is attempting to summon another GREATER DEMON, she’ll do it in one of our DEMON LABS near the pyramid’s base–very high security.”Of course it is, you snarl as you watch Sybil blast a golem out of the air with a blast of ice! So how do we get there? Preferably FAST!“There’s that MAINTENANCE SHAFT, of course,” The mage explains as he steps aside to let Talbot chuck some rubble at another sentry, “It’s a direct route to the bottom, provided you can survive the landing.”Cool, you nod, what else?“Beyond that door lies the entrance to a TELEPORTER CHAMBER,” Teevor continues, pointing at one of the sealed doors at the end of the room. “Though they seem to be locked-”Don’t worry, you interrupt, holding your TIRE IRON aloft for him to see, you might have a key!“That might work, yes…” The mage nods, “but teleportation might be risky at the moment with the HIGH SCHOLAR controlling the facility again… still, it might be the most direct route-there’s a TELEPORTER just outside the DEMON LABS for emergency situations!”Great, you hastily reply, but you’re a ‘three or more choices’ kinda gal–can he think of one more?“There,” Teevor explains as he points a finger to another sealed door across the abyss, “There’s an ELEVATOR through that door–we can take it all the way down to the DEMON LAB level.”That’ll do you! As your pals keep the golems at bay, you ultimately decide to:>GO BACK THE WAY YOU CAME THROUGH THE MAINTENANCE SHAFT! LESS SECURITY!>TRY THE TELEPORTER–IT’S THE MOST DIRECT WAY!>THE ELEVATOR! IT’S A COMFY MIDDLE GROUND BETWEEN THE TWO!>WRITE-IN!
>GO BACK THE WAY YOU CAME THROUGH THE MAINTENANCE SHAFT! LESS SECURITY!Enemy controlled tiny boxes scare me.
>>5320645>>GO BACK THE WAY YOU CAME THROUGH THE MAINTENANCE SHAFT! LESS SECURITY!
>>5320645>GO BACK THE WAY YOU CAME THROUGH THE MAINTENANCE SHAFT! LESS SECURITY!
>>5320651>>5320656>>5320693>SHAFTED!ROLL ME 1d100+5 (+5 BUNNY SUIT, +5 BONE SPEED, -5 HERDING CATS AROUND A BATTLEFIELD) TO HEAD BACK THE WAY YOU CAME! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 22 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5320718
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5320718
Rolled 69 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5320718
>>5320721>>5320751>>5320760>HIGHEST ROLL: 95!Writing!!!
Beckoning your ragtag group of misfits towards the bridge you just built, you hop, skip and jump back towards the elevator Teevor came in on!“Hey, wait a minute…” Art mutters as he multitasks scurrying across the bridge while firing a few more bolts from his HOMING STAFF into the air, “Wasn’t there a huge leak of WI-err, sorry, RAW MAGIC where we came in?”Hey, yea, you exclaim as you introduce your SNAKE MAGIC IRON TIRE to a passing golem’s face, he’s right! Why the hell didn’t that come up in the last post?!“Most of this facility is constructed from a REACTIVE ERUMITE ALLOY!” Teevor explains as he floats ahead of you! “It should have already repaired the damage by now!”“This lab… repairs itself?” Sybil asks as she sends a CONE OF COLD into a squadron of golems! “Of course–can you imagine how irksome it would be if we had to reconstruct everything between every DEMON INVASION?” The mage replies with an amused laugh! “Think of all the wasted research time!”Wait a sec, you frown as you near the newly-polished elevator, why didn’t this room repair itself, then, huh?“... stop asking questions.”As you duck and weave past the golem’s beams like a high-stakes game of laser tag, Sybil’s the first to blink onto the elevator and hit the DOWN icon!“Let’s hope that hag isn’t following our progress…” The Goth hisses as you scurry onto the lift just in time!“Given the sentry behavior, I believe she’s already undergoing summoning preparations with the rest of the staff.” Teevor replies as the elevator shoots downwards. “If we follow this route we should avoid the more…. creative... security countermeasures…”Not keen on finding out what constitutes ‘creative’ to Atlanteans, you respond with a noncommittal ‘uh-huh’ as the elevator finally deposits you into the maze of pipes you had only just finished rushing through a few minutes ago! “Huh,” Art remarks as you all cautiously glance around the good-as-new surroundings, “Guess you weren’t lying, huh?”“Why would I lie?” Teevor scoffs as you continue to run back to your entry point, “Just demonstration yet another marvel of our design. You primitives could stand to learn a thing or two!”“Sure,” Art groans as you find the now-repaired wall you originally climbed in through, “Like how to get our whole lab taken over by demons?”“Yes, well… besides that.”>CONTD.
>>5320869“NGH! RRRNGH!”“Why don’t you just use your LASER EYE or something?”“HRRRNF!”“Stan, please stop him before he hurts himself.”But… but it’s funny...“You know what isn’t funny, Stan?” Art asks as you all watch Talbot continue to headbutt the reconstructed wall, “DEMONS taking over the whole planet.”Yea, but-“No buts, Stanley.” Sybil interjects in her TEACHER VOICE, “We won’t be able to stop him now–he’s far too invested in trying to look cool for us.”“Just… RRRNG! A little… NRRRF! Longer!” Talbot roars as he adds a few kicks to his routine. Alright, you shrug, you guess you can help…Warming up your LASER EYE, you center your vision on the wall and prepare to fire!“Shouldn’t we uh,” Ly whispers impatiently, “Tell T to scootch over a bit?”… yea, fine... Relaying Ly’s instructions to your fellow janitor, the ex-murder machine complies… kinda. Moving a little over to the side, he continues headbutting as you respond to his gesture with a noncommittal shrug. Hey, you tried!In a flash of light your eye carves through the wall like a hot laser eye through a futuristic series of ramps! Watching the wall fall into the shaft with a triumphant ‘ha-HA,’ Talbot turns to face you and the others with the smile of a kid who just won a little league game!“Ya’ see that, Stan? I helped!”Yes, yes, you nod as you push past him into the shaft, he’s a miracle, alright.“Heh. Damn right I am!”This guy… Massaging your temples in preparation for an impending headache, you peer down the chasm to find that aside from the slab of wall slowly tumbling through the water to the bottom, all of the ramps are good as new!“Well,” Teevor sighs as he floats alongside you, “Time to start running. Chop-chop.”Yea, you nod as you watch the wall tumble ever-so-slowly, maybe…How do you head down?>USE THE RAMPS! SAFETY!>RIDE THE WALL DOWN! JUST MAKE SURE DUMBASS TALBOT DOESN’T FALL OFF!>WAIT A SEC, THERE’S AN ELEVATOR AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS SHAFT, RIGHT?>WRITE-IN!
>>5320870>>USE THE RAMPS! SAFETY!
>>5320870>HAVE SYB USE HER ARCTIC BLAST ON THE RAMPS AND SLIDE DOWN THE ICEShould save us some time.
>>5320950As usual, if a while passes and nobody has voted, switch me to >>5320877
>>5320950This sounds like fun, lets do this.
>>5320950+1, the cool option
>>5320877>SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE!>>5320950>>5321245>>5321257>ALRIGHT THIS IS KINDA COOL BUT SOMEONE'S TOTALLY GONNA CRACK THEIR HEAD OPEN SO DON'T TELL MOMHoooo boy, here goes something... ROLL ME 1d100+10(+5 BUNNY SUIT, +5 BONE SPEED, +5 FENCER'S FEMURS, -5 A BUNCH OF UNCOORDINATED IDIOTS) TO SLIP AWAY! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 82 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5321306I'M NOT TELLIN' MOM FOR SHIT.
Rolled 46 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5321306The slip n slide I’ve always wanted.
Rolled 4 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5321306
>>5321312>>5321313>>5321319>HIGHEST ROLL: 92!Alright if you won't tell mom I won't... Writing!
Glancing between the falling debris and the safe, unassuming ramps, you can’t help but let out a weary sigh.“What’s up, cupcake?” Ly asks as you idly kick a pebble-sized piece of rubble down the central pit. D’aw gee, Ly, you pout, you wanna head down this thing fast, but you just know if you try to hitch a ride on that falling wall then someone’s gonna complain!“Yep,” Art nods as he listens in on your PRIVATE CONVERSATION, “That’d be me.”But… but the ramps are so slow, you whine! They’ll take forever and your feet are gonna hurt!“Well unfortunately I left my roller skates at the apartment,” Sybil sighs with mock disappointment, “so unfortunately we’ll have to stick to more realistic methods.”“Couldn’t we just, like, jump down?” Talbot asks with an innocent shrug. “Sure,” Art replies, “if you want us to become ROAD PIZZA.”“Have a little faith, will ya?” The janitor growls, “If I land first and catch you guys you’ll survive! Probably…”“Well unless someone has a WATER SLIDE rolled up in one of their absurdly-spacious pockets,” Jokes Sybil, “It looks as if we’ll just have to continue running! Shall we? We’ve wasted enough time as-is.”As you take a few steps towards the BIG, DUMB RAMPS, a faint spark flickers within your brain–one that sets fire to a whole filing cabinet of treasured childhood memories and keeps going until it’s all you can think about! SYBIL, you roar, are you good to cast a few more ICE spells?!“Y-yes, of course…” Sybil mutters as she senses danger in your voice, “W-why?”>CONTD.
>>5321405“... yea, dis’ just doesn’t seem realistic, kiddo.”Shut uuuup, you groan as Sybil sprays the floor with ice, and keep going, Syb–you’re doing great!“Does…” She grunts as Teevor watches from the sidelines, “Does it have to look like a RACECAR?”I dunno, you sneer as you lean in close to her sweating face, did the Statue of Liberty HAVE to be green?!“I just… I don’t thi-ACHOO~<3!”Taken by surprise, Sybil’s lithe body contorts from the force of the sneeze, sending her stream of ice onto the ramp next to you! “Snrk! S-sorry, everyone…” She mutters as she sheepishly rubs her nose.“M-moe….” Art stammers, eyes practically heart-shaped.“Th-that was adorable…” Ly remarks with pride!“I-impressive effects…” Teevor nods as Lil’ Stanley jealously watches from Talbot’s shoulder!Yea, you mutter as you watch the wayward spray of ice harden on the smooth ramp’s surface, it IS! Hey everyone: you’ve got a BETTER idea!ONE MINUTE LATER…“I PREFERED THE ICE CAR IDEA MORE!”Spraying the ramps with a thin sheet of ice, Sybil leads the pack with her shaking hands stretched in front of her and one eye shut!“You’re doi-ACK!-great, Syb!” Art shouts as he struggles to maintain balance near the back of the conga line!“Hurry up, will ya? I’m gonna crash into Stan!” Talbot grumbles as Lil’ Stanley watches with child-like glee atop his head!“This… this violates SEVERAL safety protocols!” Teevor whines from the very back!Damn right it does, you smirk as you pat Syb on the back! And t-“ACK! P-PLEASE DON’T PUSH ME!”Christ, ‘Sorry’!>CONTD.
>>5321406Sliding down the winding ramps like a gang of deranged skiers, you ask Teevor what floor you’re getting off on, exactly!“If my mind is working properly, and I have no reason to believe it wouldn’t be, the DEMON LABS should be located about TEN more floors below u-NINE floors now-wait, EIG-”You get the picture, you reply, waving him off! Returning to watching Syb do her thing, you can’t help but notice a faint red dot tracking her shoulder… say, Syb-Before you can warn her, a thin ray of burning-hot light cuts across the wall next to you just above your heads! “Stan…” The Goth mutters, too afraid to stop spraying ice on the floor, “What was that?”“MOBILE SECURITY PLATFORMS!” Teevor howls as he points above you! Tracking his finger, you find yourself staring at a small, spider-like robot with a singular eye poking out of a metal body! Sensing your gaze, it flashes a light in your face in an attempt to blind you, but it fails! Good thing you had your SHADES!“I was wonderin’ why we was still wearin’ those!” Ly remarks as more of the spiderlings emerge from hidden compartments in the walls! And you were wonderin’ why you didn’t know about these little bastards until now, you snarl as you send a pointed glare at your team’s resident skeleton mage!“I-I didn’t know they were in here!” He sputters as he tries to shrug, balance, and avoid getting bisected by lasers simultaneously, “Th-the HIGH SCHOLAR just does things, you know? D’oh, this is so classic her!”“Less talking, more destroying, please?” Sybil whines as she glances between you and the ramp in front of her! “Losing concentration…”Well you haven’t fallen over yet, but as you prepare to engage these dinky drones, the spiderbots begin to carve into the ramps ahead to slow you down! Oh NO![/n]ROLL ME 1d100+10 (SAME AS ABOVE) TO SQUASH THEIR PLANS! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS! AS USUAL, IF YOU HAVE ANY SPECIFIC STRATS OR ATTACK IDEAS, WRITE ‘EM IN!
Rolled 55 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5321409
Calling it here tonight, folks, getting a little sleepy on my end! Will resume WEDNESDAY AROUND 11-12PM PST!
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5321409Let's go for the classic backumn one enemy into another strat.
Rolled 40 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5321409>>5321464Sure, this works.
>>5321413>>5321464>>5321465>HIGHEST ROLL: 65!Writing!
Hey, you snarl as you ready your trusty BACKUUM for a game of catch, if anyone’s gonna tear this lab to shreds, it’s YOU! Sucking up a handful of the creepy crawlies, you send the bewildered bots flying around the shaft like you were trying to wash it!“Alright, guess we’re fighting again…” Art mutters as he struggles to maintain his balance while firing his staff! Not expecting you to fight back, the security drones are caught flat-footed as you continue sliding along the cut-up ramps!“Hey,” Teevor nervously chuckles as he blasts a drone off its perch with MAGICAL FORCE, “This… this is actually somewhat amusing!”“It loses its charm when you do it every day!” Replies Art as a laser nearly trims the top of his helmet off! As you and your pals continue to slide, The skeleton mage in the rear points a finger to a small, circular cap jutting out of the wall above a sealed door! “THERE!” He sputters, “Our path lies beyond that sealed vent!”Seriously, you groan? This whole ‘crawling through vents’ shtick is starting to get derivative…“Would you prefer trying to break through the front door of the most highly-secured lab in the facility!?” He counters as more drones emerge from their secret wall pockets! “Or perhaps you’d like to parlay with the HIGH SCHOLAR?”“I mean, Stan’s done crazier stuff…” Talbot shrugs. “I was tryin’ to kill her for, like, five updates and look at me now!”“Not to rush things along,” Sybil groans as the jet of ice from her hand starts to thin out, “But I agree…”Fine, you sigh, why bother breaking the mold, right? Chucking another drone at the cap in question, Ly borrows your arm for a quick fist pump as the obstruction pops open like a popcorn kernel! Alright everyone, you begin as the remaining drones seem to know what you’re planning, playtime’s over!Sybil takes the lead by gracefully leaping into the vent like a very pale figure skater! You bring up the rear, of course, hopping inside like a considerably less-coordinated, but still halfway decent skater! Art, Talbot, and Teevor, however, half-jump, half-collapse inside like very drunk skaters, and from there on in the simile kinda dies.You’re inside, however, and that’s what matters most!>CONTD.
>>5322153“I suppose I should be glad these ventilation ducts are large enough to crawl through…” Teevor mutters as you and the others scurry through the narrow pipe like rats, “this flaw will have to be addressed in the very near future, however…”Yea, you growl, you can barely fit as-is! He’s gotta make ‘em at least a foot bigger, or something!“Not what I intended.”Whatever, dork. “So when do we drop down and kick some ass?” Talbot asks as Lil’ Stanley trots along between you and him. “I’m startin’ to cramp up here!”“Trust me: you’ll know when we’re over the DEMON LAB.” The mage replies as you hear a faint, but growing drone in the pipe ahead! “The devices within aren’t known for being quiet...”“I’m more concerned about there being a vent leading directly to and from the lab itself…” Sybil muses. “Quite the security lapse, yes?”“The opposite, actually.” Teevor sighs like a teacher having to answer the same question for the seventh time. “Many DEMONS aren’t accustomed to an aquatic environment–we, of course, thrive in it. Well, we used to, of course.”“So ya’ flood the whole place?” Talbot asks with the usual amount of confusion in his voice. “Wouldn’t that break shit?”“No, it wouldn’t ‘break shit’.” Groans the mage as you pass by a massive grille leading deeper into the facility. “All of our equipment is designed to work underwater–in fact, most of it relies on it for cooling. You may also consider it an anti-espionage mechanism.”“Right… can’t reproduce it without the right conditions.” Art remarks as you clamber under a cluster of tubes glowing with RAW MAGIC. “Precisely. Back to my original point, DEMONS won’t drown in normal conditions, but by maintaining the ability to drain and flood labs at will, we significantly weaken and-”Teevor’s explanation is cut short by a low growl from your fuzzy companion! “You mind checkin’ in with Stanley, Stan? She’s making weird sounds.” Asks Talbot. Yea, you nod, just gimme a sec-“I was talking to her, actually. HA HA!”Hah hah. Moron!"OW! Quit kicking me!">CONTD.
