[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [cm / hm / y] [3 / adv / an / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / hc / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / po / pol / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / x] [rs] [status / ? / @] [Settings] [Home]
Board:  
Settings   Home
4chan
/qst/ - Quests


Previous threads:

1)
https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2022/5191185/
or https://archived.moe/qst/thread/5191185/

2)
https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2022/5242681/
or https://archived.moe/qst/thread/5242681

"Enough fooling around, go get whatever we need for our trip to Bermuda!" you command Dr. Goldwater. "Very well milord" he says with resignation, pulling up his pants. "I do hope we can do this again". He brings the garden hose out the door. "I'll be back as soon as I can". He shuts the door behind him and you hear his car start up and pull away.

Well, you've got a couple hours to kill. You're getting kinda hungry. It's also a bit concerning how your penis is still covered in poop from last night's Chicago chili dog, to say nothing of the pee and enema water all over the floor, the couch and you. What do?

>Hop in the wheelchair and wheel yourself over to the kitchen to find a snack

>Try to clean up this ungodly mess

>Find some clothes or something to protect your modesty

>Just sit back and watch Ninjago
>>
>>5295125
>Just sit back and watch Ninjago
The greatest quest on /qst/ continues!
>>
>>5295125
>Try to clean up this ungodly mess
>>
>>5295125
>>Just sit back and watch Ninjago
We will be just fine, the filth will sustain us!
>>
>>5295125
>>Try to clean up this ungodly mess
Can't leave any trace when we leave to Bermuda... Also it's stinky

KEK captcha: GA Y M8
>>
>>5295125
>Just sit back and watch Ninjago
>>
>Try to clean up this ungodly mess

I feel responsible today. Our minion has been loyal, let's clean up.
>>
>>5295125
ninjago
>>
>>5295125
>Try to clean up this ungodly mess
We dealt wih this before, just whip out the hose and blast that shit.
>>
>>5295125
>Try to clean up this ungodly mess
>>
>>5295125
>Try to clean up this ungodly mess
>>
>>5295125
>Try to clean up this ungodly mess
>>5295375
Nice.
>>
TRY TO CLEAN UP THIS UNGODLY MESS
>>
nah you fucking morron its the last episode of ninjago
>>
We need to watch ninjago its the last episode of the series and i need to know who the green ninja is
>>
>Try to clean up this ungodly mess
Writing
>>
As fascinating as you find the adventures of Lego ninjas, you decide that your faithful minion deserves to be cut some slack, so to lessen his burden you resolve to clean up the wreckage from your battle with the poop creature and the subsequent celebration of your victory. You reach behind you and pull the wheelchair next to you. You manage to wriggle yourself into the wheelchair, and despite your weakness of body and mind, it doesn't take long for you to figure out how to move yourself. This will certainly facilitate your cleaning efforts, but you still haven't decided on your method. The reliable hose method is off the table since Dr. Goldwater left it outside, and trying to get the wheelchair out the front door and down the steps is non-compensatory. After some deep consideration, you decide to...

>Try to find a mop

>Push the diaper around the floor and use it to absorb some of the liquids

>Use your morning piss, which you just now realize you still haven't taken
>>
>>5297361
>Use your morning piss, which you just now realize you still haven't taken
If we are the piss God then we must act like it.
>>
>>5297361
push the diaper, push the diaper!
>>
>>5297361
>Push the diaper around the floor and use it to absorb some of the liquids

>Use your morning piss, which you just now realize you still haven't taken

How to choose?! How to choose?!
>>
>>5297455
You can do both.
>>
>>5297361
>>Push the diaper around the floor and use it to absorb some of the liquids
>>Use your morning piss, which you just now realize you still haven't taken
Both
>>
>>5297361
Rinse with piss and then wipe with the diaper
>>
>>5297361
>Push the diaper around the floor and use it to absorb some of the liquids
>>
>>5297523
Yeah. DIY mop.
>>
>>5297361
>Use hair as mop
>>
>>5297361
Hoover that shit
>>
>Push the diaper around the floor and use it to absorb some of the liquids
>Use your morning piss, which you just now realize you still haven't taken
Writing
>>
Now that I think about it I'm gonna need a roll for a successful piss.
1d100, best of 3
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

*squishy soaked diaper noises*
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>5299876
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>5299876
ORA
>>
You wheel yourself to where your diaper deposited itself following the battle with the poop creature. You were never much a fan of diapers but you have to admit this one's proving rather useful. You press your left foot onto it as you release a hot stream of morning piss onto the floor. A small splash gets on your leg but that's OK, it'll wash off some of the enema water. Scooting the diaper around you manage to slur the pee and enema water onto the floor into a somewhat congruous puddle. You suppose it's an improvement. One big mess is bigger than two little ones at least.

You're still hungry, and it's now dawning on you that your dick looks like you just got back from a Grindr date. What do?

>Find a way to wash the poop off your Johnson

>Get a snack from the kitchen

>Just go back to watching Ninjago
>>
>>5300068
>Find a way to wash the poop off your Johnson
Attempt to clean it off with our mouth
>>
>>5300068
get back get a snack
>>
>>5300068
>>Find a way to wash the poop off your Johnson
>>
>>5300075
+1
Sounds funny
>>
>>5300068
Try to clean your dick off using the dishwasher
>>
>>5300068
>Find a way to wash the poop off your Johnson
>>
>>5300068
>You wheel nigself to where your nigger deposited nigself following the nigger with the poop nigger. You were never much a nigger of niggers but you have to admit this one's proving rather useful. You press your left nigger onto it as you release a hot nigger of morning nigger onto the nigger. A small nigger gets on your nigger but that's OK, it'll wash off some of the enema nigger. Scooting the nigger around you manage to slur the nigger and enema nigger onto the nigger into a somewhat congruous nigger. You suppose it's a nigger. One big nigger is bigger than two little ones at least.
>You're still hungry, and it's now dawning on you that your nigger looks like you just got back from a Grindr nigger. What do?

God I fucking hate /pol/chuds
>>
>Find a way to wash the poop off your Johnson
Writing
>>
While you're working on cleaning up you figure your personal hygiene could use some attention. What's the best way to get poop off your penis? You pick your brain for a minute and recall a video you once saw called "cute amateur twink does dirty atm". Of course! The guy in that video cleaned poop off no less than 3 dicks with nothing but his mouth. It must work like a charm, you've seen it yourself! You arch your back downward with your mouth agape. This would be difficult even for a fully able bodied person, but you have confidence...

Roll 1d100, DC 100. Only 1 shot this time.
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>5303156
I GOT THIS!
>>
Time to go where most men don't dare tread.
>>
Your efforts are valiant, but for all your stretching and straining you only manage to get your mouth about a foot or so away from your penis. No shame in trying though. It's a fact that every man on earth has tried to suck his own dick. Who wouldn't? The ultimate object of everything we ever do is to get someone else to do it for us, therefore if we could do it ourselves we'd never have to do anything again. But alas, you are not one of the blessed few born with the talent. You'll have to find an alternative.

>Go to the bathroom and take a shower like a normal person

>Go to the kitchen and attempt to clean your dick with the dishwasher

>Give up and go back to watching Ninjago
>>
>>5303425
>Go to the kitchen and attempt to clean your dick with the dishwasher
>>
>>5303425
>Wipe off with Goldwater's blankets and sheets
>>
>>5303425
>Go to the kitchen and attempt to clean your dick with the dishwasher
>>
>>5303425
>Give up and go back to watching Ninjago
>>
>>5303425
>Go to the kitchen and attempt to clean your dick with the dishwasher
There's no way this could possibly go wrong.
>>
>>5303425
>take a shower
>>
>Go to the kitchen and attempt to clean your dick with the dishwasher
Writing
>>
While brainstorming for methods to clean your weenie your hunger keeps drawing your mind to the kitchen. After a while you realize the kitchen probably has a dishwasher, and the dishwasher probably doubles as a dickwasher. Why wouldn't it? Dicks aren't much harder to clean than dishes.

You wheel yourself into Dr. Goldwater's kitchen. It's decked out in a classic Italian style, with several bottles of fine olive oil on the counter and bundles of garlic and fresh herbs hanging from the cabinets. Goldwater must be an Italian name, you think. The dishwasher is in a conspicuous location in front of you, but you aren't sure exactly how to use it. Putting your wits to the test again, you decide to...

>Try to climb inside the dishwasher and wash your whole body

>Insert your dick glory hole style and try to run it that way

>Cut your dick off and wash it in the silverware tray

>Fix yourself a snack, maybe you'll have a better idea after some brain food
>>
>>5305966
>Insert your dick glory hole style and try to run it that way
>>
>>5305966
>>Try to climb inside the dishwasher and wash your whole body
>>
>>5305966
>>Try to climb inside the dishwasher and wash your whole body
>>
>>5305966
>Try to climb inside the dishwasher and wash your whole body
Life hack moment.
>>
is OP dead or just nigging out again?
>>
>>5307774
he'll be back
>>
>Try to climb inside the dishwasher and wash your whole body
Ready to go, just having some technical difficulties. Will update when my wifi stops being complete crap (posting from my phone). Sorry to leave you hanging.
>>
Bluetooth really kicks ass sometimes
Why not wash your whole body while you're at it? You open the dishwasher. Easy enough. Getting inside is a bit more of a challenge. Your weakness makes it difficult to hoist yourself out of the wheelchair, and even when that's done you spend a great amount of time flopping around on top of the dishwasher's hatch trying to fit your entire ass inside. After some time however your persistence yields success, and you manage to contort your arms, legs and head into an odd but compact arrangement. Carefully, you pull the hatch closed from the inside and hear it click shut. Now how to start the dishwasher? You look around for a start button or something but you can't seem to find one. In fact you can't see a thing, it's completely dark. You try to push the hatch open but it quickly becomes apparent that it will only open from the outside.

Well fuck. Looks like you're stuck here for a while. How will you pass the time?

>Masturbate

>Try to suck your own dick again

>Feel around for silverware to stick up your butthole

>Just sit there and think deep thoughts
>>
>>5308079
>Try to suck your own dick again
In this position surely we'd be able to do it!
>>
>>5308079
>Just sit there and think deep thoughts
except we replay the entirety of Ninjago in our heads from memory
>>
>>5308199
>>5308079
While sucking our dick
>>
>>5308079
>Try to suck your own dick again
>>
>>5308079
>Just sit there and think deep thoughts
*I shou'd really play some beyblade lager on*
>>
>>5308079
>think deep thoughts
>>
>>5308079
>>Just sit there and think deep thoughts
>>Try to suck your own dick again
>>
>>5308079
>>Just sit there and think deep thoughts
Contemplate the eternal, universal cycle of peepee and poopoo. What does it mean to be a man of pee and poo?
>>
>Just sit there and think deep thoughts
Writing
>>
Dark. Lonely. A little damp. In order to get through this you'll have to entertain yourself somehow. You begin by trying to replay the entirety of Ninjago in your head. In the beginning there was this old lego guy, and he heard some kids making sex sounds, but then he walked in and they were just playing video games, and then... fuck, you forget what happens after that. Why do you always forget stuff? Might be because you're retarded. Oh well, it's just the price you pay for getting all the easy classes in school and collecting free money from the government. Thinking about school reminds you of the only thing you learned in school, the miracle of Beyblade. What ever happened to Beyblades? Everyone had them when you were in 3rd grade or so but after a while they seemed to just disappear. Why? They were just about the coolest thing that ever existed. You'd LET IT RIP!â„¢ and then watch it spin and spin and spin and eventually stop spinning. Who could ever get tired of that? You should play some Beyblade when you get home. Speaking of home, you're not sure how long it's been since you were last away from home so long. You sure hope your hot pockets haven't gotten freezer burned. What happens to hot pockets after you eat them? They go into your body all the time but all that ever comes out is poop and pee and sometimes jizz. What is the purpose of poop? Is it simply there so we can just flush it down the toilet? That seems like such a waste. You haven't pooped in a toilet in well over a month now and you're still alive. Maybe mankind has been wasting its poop all along. Perhaps your destiny is to find the answer. Yes! That must be why God put you on this earth, to find what pee and poop are really for. It all adds up, when you tried to pee in the piss jug at the hospital you got it everywhere but the jug, and look what happened next!

You spend a long, long time thinking of all the glorious places you could deposit your urine and excrement until finally you hear a rush of footsteps. A familiar voice cries "Milord! Where are you?"

"I'm in the dishwasher, trying to clean my dinky" you reply.

You hear a very load groan before the hatch swings open. "Milord, with all due respect there are much better ways to get clean. Come on, let's give you a bath."

Dr. Goldwater pulls you out of the dishwasher, hoists you back into the wheelchair and wheels you into the bathroom. You see then well furbished shower and say...

>A bath would be fantastic, don't suppose you could give me a shave while you're at it?

>What is this tomfoolery? Put me back in the dishwasher this instant!

>Let me try to poop in the sink first, it's important.
>>
>>5310622
>Can I fuck your shampoo bottle?
>>
>>5310622
>A bath would be fantastic, don't suppose you could give me a shave while you're at it?
Time to clean up our act. Also speaking of beyblades, remember bakugon brawlers? kino show
>>
>>5310622
>A bath would be fantastic, don't suppose you could give me a shave while you're at it?
>>
>>5310622
>demand to be cleaned in the toilet so you may further immerse yourself in the life of a poopy
>>
>>5310922
>and ask for a shave
>>
>>5310622
My sides are absolute kill btw, you are a true shit lord OP
>>
File: beytub.jpg (55 KB, 680x523)
55 KB
55 KB JPG
>>5310743
Hated bakugon, it reminded of a very similar thing yugioh tried to do with the little spherical figurines but they half-assed it really bad and probably immediately cancelled them. I was the only one who had that shitty toy so of course no one wanted to play it with me. So I'm not really giving bakugon a fair shake but also I was a little too old for the TV show anyway

speaking of beyblades and bathtubs, though... (sorry for shitty image this was best i could find quickly)
>>
>>5310622
I have a big shit to do right. let me in peace
>>
>A bath would be fantastic, don't suppose you could give me a shave while you're at it?
Writing
>>
"A bath would be fantastic, don't suppose you could give me a shave while you're at it?"

"Of course, milord" says Dr. Goldwater. He turns on the faucet and the bathtub fills with surprising swiftness. When the tub is full, he gently scrubs down your body and shampoos your hair. He doesn't miss a single inch, not even your junk. His dedication really puts the nurses at the hospital to shame. When he's done, he lathers up your face. "Sorry, I've never done this to someone else before" he says. You find his apology unwarranted, as he gives you what may be the cleanest shave of your life.

When he's finished he hoists you up, dries you off and pulls you into a set of clean clothes before wheeling you into the dining room. He places your wheelchair by the table and sits down across from you. "Let's go over the plan for tomorrow. Our flight is at 6:30am so we'll have to be there at the crack of dawn. I got you a fake passport, as promised. I'm gonna pretend you're my retarded cousin Albert. I think it's best if you pretend you're too retarded to talk, that'll make things simpler. That's about all you have to worry about. Any questions?"

>When do we eat? I'm hungry.

>These clothes are nice but would you mind taking them off again?

>You're a urologist, right? Tell me about some of the interesting places you've peed in, I'm sure there's plenty to tell.
>>
>>5314416
>When do we eat? I'm hungry.
>>
>>5314416
>When do we eat? I'm hungry.
>>
>>5314416
>>You're a urologist, right? Tell me about some of the interesting places you've peed in, I'm sure there's plenty to tell.
>>
>>5314544
Also, bonus points for one-upping him with a story of your own.
>>
>>5314416
>You're a urologist, right? Tell me about some of the interesting places you've peed in, I'm sure there's plenty to tell.
>>
>>5314416
>You're a urologist, right? Tell me about some of the interesting places you've peed in, I'm sure there's plenty to tell.
Also gotta do some one upping like >>5314640 suggested, we are the almighty God of piss after all!
>>
>>5314416
>You're a urologist, right? Tell me about some of the interesting places you've peed in, I'm sure there's plenty to tell.
>>
>You're a urologist, right? Tell me about some of the interesting places you've peed in, I'm sure there's plenty to tell.
Writing
>>
"You're a urologist, right? Tell me about some of the interesting places you've peed in, I'm sure there's plenty to tell."

Dr. Goldwater rolls his eyes. "No, there's really not much to tell. I just pee in the toilet like everyone else".

This answer, of course, doesn't satisfy you. "Come on, don't they make you pass some kind of pee test to become a urologist? Did you have to pee in a perfect circle while riding a unicycle or something?"

"No. I just went to college, took pre-med, then went to medical school, and I pretty much just went into practice right after that. But that does remind me of one story from college. I'll tell you over some spaghetti amatriciana, how's that sound?"

You're not sure what that is, but it does sound good. You voice your assent, and Dr. Goldwater disappears into the kitchen, returning a surprisingly short while later with two platefuls of spaghetti in reddish sauce. He sets the plates down on the table and the two of you dig in simultaneously. The flavor reminds you somewhat of hot pockets, and you enjoy it. After eating a few forkfuls, Dr. Goldwater says, "So yeah, the story I promised you. I was in college, something like 15 years ago. I wasn't much of a party type, just stayed in most weekends, but one time I got invited to a house party off campus. It was nothing to special, just a bunch of kids, some crappy music and a lot of cheap beer. Of course the beer was the most interesting part so I went and helped myself. I was only 19 or 20 and I think it was my first time getting really, I mean REALLY drunk. The time just flew by, and before I knew it I was too late to catch the bus back to campus. So I decided to walk the whole 3 miles back. No big deal, it wasn't the furthest I've ever walked. So I started off down the street, and after a while I passed by a golf course, and my very intoxicated mind thought it would be hilarious to piss all over the golf carts. So I did, I dropped trou and peed on every single one, made sure to get as much on the seats and steering wheels as I could. As I zipped up my pants I glanced up and saw a pair of headlights coming up the driveway. Mind you it was about 3am. I didn't even take a moment to consider who it could be, I just sprinted like an Olympian to the treeline, and when I got there I dove flat on my stomach, low crawled all the way to the street and then bolted out of sight. And that, I think, was the most interesting place I've ever peed".

"Great story" you reply. "Let me tell you one of mine. One time I was playing Elden Ring and I had to pee and poop at the same time. I tried to do it out the window but I forgot to open it, so I just peed and pooped all over the wall".

Cont.
>>
Dr. Goldwater looks quizzically at you. "Why did you try to do it out the window?"

Up until this moment you never really considered why you felt the need to relieve yourself out the window, but having had your epiphany in the dishwasher, it's now crystal clear. "Scientific research, it's part of my duty as PISS LORD".

"Ah, I see".

When you're finished eating Dr. Goldwater clears the plates and says, "Wanna watch a movie or something?"

>Sure, do you have Shrek?

>Let's practice our roleplay for tomorrow, I want to ace the retarded cousin act.

>Why don't we just get naked?
>>
>>5317698
>>5317697
>Flashback to yesterday
lmao

>Sure, do you have Shrek?
>>
>>5317698
>Let's practice our roleplay for tomorrow, I want to ace the retarded cousin act.
oho this can only go well
>>
>>5317698
>>Sure, do you have Shrek?
>>Let's practice our roleplay for tomorrow, I want to ace the retarded cousin act.
"I will be Donkey and you can be Shrek"
>>
>>5317698
Nice flashback. Beautiful work op.
>Sure, do you have Shrek?
>>
>>5317981
+1
>>
>Sure, do you have Shrek?
>Let's practice our roleplay for tomorrow, I want to ace the retarded cousin act.
Writing
>>
>>5317698
lets watch shrek
>>
"Sure, do you have Shrek?"

"No, but I'm pretty sure it's on Netflix".

You and Dr. Goldwater return to the living room and seat yourselves on the couch, carefully positioning yourselves to not sit in the poop stains. Dr. Goldwater pulls up Shrek on Netflix and you watch gleefully. It's just as amazing as it was the first five thousand times. Adventure, comedy, action, romance, Shrek has it all. You used to have all the merchandise and movies. You prayed to Shrek every night before bed. Shrek is love. Shrek is life. When the credits roll, Dr. Goldwater asks, "Should we watch Shrek 2 now?"

"Let's practice our roleplay for tomorrow, I want to ace the retarded cousin act" you reply.

"Great idea, get back in the wheelchair and I'll show you-"

"I will be Donkey and you can be Shrek!"

"What?"

You unseat yourself and get down on all fours. Dr. Goldwater says "Milord, if I can humbly ask you to stay out of the puddle..."

"So let me get this straight, you're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess, just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp, which you only don't have 'cause you filled it full of freaks in the first place, is that about right?"

"You know what?" says Dr. Goldwater, "maybe there's a good REASON donkeys shouldn't talk".

"Eh, I don't get it Shrek, why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him?"

"Milord, I'm not just playing along, I'm trying to tell you something."

"You know, throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, you know, the whole ogre trip?"

"Milord, this is serious. Do you want to go to Bermuda or not?

"Uh, no, not really, no."

"Well that's a relief to be honest, guess I'll cancel our plane tickets."

"Like what?"

"I mean the ones we'd need to board the plane".

"They stink?"

"No, because you just said you don't want to go".

"Oh, they make you cry!"

"If anything I'm about to cry because you're making this so difficult."

"Oh, you leave them out in the sun, they get all brown, start sprouting little white hair-"

"NO! Jesus Milord, you're roleplaying all wrong!"

"You're the one screwing up your lines Bozo, you're supposed to say layers, onions have layers!"

Dr. Goldwater plants his face in his palm. "We are so screwed" he mutters.

>Well, that's enough roleplay for now. Lie down on the couch and try to get some sleep, since we have to get up extra early tomorrow.

>Continue acting like Donkey

>Practice acting like Fiona
>>
>>5320724
>Continue acting like Donkey
INVEST IN THE BIT
>>
>>5320724
>Write in
>Switch roles
"Okay, you be Donkey, and I'll be Shrek now. Remember that you can talk if you want to, you're an enchanted Donkey."
>Continue practicing, beginning with a resumption of the brilliant onion analogy. Try not to cry while delivering the speech.
>>
>>5320724
>>5320849
+1
>>
>>5320724
>Well, that's enough roleplay for now. Lie down on the couch and try to get some sleep, since we have to get up extra early tomorrow.
>>
>>5320724
now lets practice on fiona acting
>>
>>5320724
Goldwater seems to be forgetting his place. Piss on him THROUGH your pants, then >>5320849
>>
>"Okay, you be Donkey, and I'll be Shrek now. Remember that you can talk if you want to, you're an enchanted Donkey."
Writing
>>
Taking the hint that Dr. Goldwater isn't so fond of his role, you tell him, "Okay, you be Donkey, and I'll be Shrek now. Remember that you can talk if you want to, you're an enchanted Donkey." You deftly pull yourself back into the wheelchair and turn to face him.

With his hand still firmly attached to his face, he replies, "Milord, my cousin Albert may be retarded, but he's the sit there and drool kind of retarded, not the think you're Shrek kind of retarded."

"No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers, you get it?!? We both have layers".

"You know what? Fine, go ahead and pretend you're Shrek in the airport, they won't know what kind of retard you're supposed to be."

"I don't care what everyone likes! Ogres are not like cakes".

"I'm gonna go pack my suitcase. If you need me, I'll be in my walk-in closet"

"NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden. Ogres are like onions, end of story. Bye bye! See ya later."

Dr. Goldwater leaves the room, seeming to have swiftly forgotten the danger of leaving you unattended. He must not be very bright.

>Follow him

>Put on Shrek 2

>Pee in the Mtn Dew bottle to make sure you have some saved for tomorrow
>>
>>5324301
>Pee in the Mtn Dew bottle to make sure you have some saved for tomorrow
>>
>>5324301
>try to piss out the window again
>put on Shrek 2
>>
>>5324301
>Put on Shrek 2
>Pee in the Mtn Dew bottle to make sure you have some saved for tomorrow
>>
>>5324301
>Put on Shrek 2
>>
>>5324301
follow him. maybe he'll get lost and won't find the door to go out
>>
bimp
>>
>>5324301
>>Follow him
>>Put on Shrek 2
>>Pee in the Mtn Dew bottle to make sure you have some saved for tomorrow
I vote for the trifecta
>>
I'm thinking I should wrap up this quest soon. I had some IRL stuff come up in the past week but the main reason for my slowness to update is simple writer's block. I'm just running out of ideas. That said, I'm sure you guys will be glad I didn't rush this one.

>Put on Shrek 2
Writing
>>
Glad to have the couch to yourself, you decide to watch Shrek 2. You giddily select it from the Netflix screen and admire the screen with anticipation. However, some time into the movies you begin to remember why you haven't watched it in so long. Shrek 2 retains very little of the original's charm. The plot is simplistic and unoriginal, the jokes are sparse and mostly pop culture references, the musical numbers are nowhere near as memorable, the whole thing smells of "we just made this because we knew people would pay to see it". Boredom accumulates upon your consciousness until you fall asleep.

After what seems like an instant you feel a hand on your shoulder and open your eyes to see Dr. Goldwater nudging you awake. He is dressed in khakis and a red Hawaiian shirt. Behind him is the green suitcase he used to smuggle you out of the hospital. "Rise and shine milord" he says. "We've got to get going". Groggily, you slump into the wheelchair and Dr. Goldwater loads you and the suitcase into the car. "Remember, if anyone asks you're my retarded cousin Albert".

The drive to the airport is rather uneventful and you find yourself falling back asleep in the passenger seat. Next thing you know you're at the check-in desk watching Dr. Goldwater presenting a pair of passports to the attendant. "This is me, and this is for my cousin Albert here". You take that as a cue to get into character. You wave your arms around your head and shout "I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE FAIRY TALE CREATURES AND THIS FAIRY TALE STORY!"

Dr. Goldwater goes red in the face. He leans over and stage whispers to the moderately attractive female attendant, "He's uh... a bit mentally challenged. Sometimes he thinks he's Shrek".

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?!!?!"

The attendant sighs and hands Dr. Goldwater your boarding passes. He thanks her and grabs your wheelchair, hurrying you to the security line. "Well, so far so good" he says. It's still bright and early and the line is rather short. When you get to the voyeur porn scanner a beefy, bile-colored man in a TSA uniform looks at you and says, "Hold on, we can't scan you in your wheelchair. Can you stand up?"

"YOU'RE NOT COMING HOME WITH ME! I LIVE ALONE! MY SWAMP!"

"Please excuse him, he's very severely disabled. No, he won't be able to get up" says Dr. Goldwater.

"Bring him through to the other side, we'll have to give him a pat-down" says the agent. At this moment you realize you have to pee again.

>Ask Dr. Goldwater to bring you to the bathroom and help you pee

>Try to hold it until you're through security

>Pee in your pants
>>
>>5335310
>Try to hold it until you're through security
Save it for the airplane
>>
>>5335310
>Try to hold it until you're through security
Save the pee blast for when we hijack the plane bin laden style.

Also OP, if your having writer block that bad your should definitely take a break from writing and finish up the quest for now. Save your best ideas for the next thread if you do so choose.

I sure do hope there aren't any terrorists on this plane! that would be very unfortunate!
>>
>>5335310
>Try to hold it until you're through security
9/11 2.0 Here we come!



Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.