OH SHIT KNIGGA(s) it's an adventure about being knights n shit.4 knights are sent on a glorious quest to bring home the holy grail! Which have been stolen and taken to the Tower City! Each Knight needs at least 1 player to be the voices in their head to tell them what to do n shit. Do that by just naming yourself something with the highlighted title under the knight to identify which team you're going with. Each knight needs at least 1 active player to be....active. Yeah.Example: Scythe Knight herpaderp -> Controls Gustaf the Scythe KnightTracking down the cultists who planned to use the Holy Grail for nefarious purposes, the knights broke into their ritual chamber before they could even prepare for said ritual! But know they must fight against a squad of Rogue Knights in the CUltists' employ!previous threds: https://www.mediafire.com/file/z5102dlwm24jfou/Knights_Quest.zip/file
>>5285876Does anyone even know where the grail is
>>5285876Find the grail! Over there! My finger point!
>>5285888>>5285889Perhaps it's RIGHT OVER THERE! Where the weeb is pointing?!
>>5285893Jesus, that's a fucking weebshit grail if I ever saw one
>>5285897Don't be jelly
>>5285897.....Clearly this is not the grail you're looking for
>>5285893He isn't pointing at anything, he just wanted to do a cool pose
>>5285901Cultists, explain.What the fuck is this
>>5285901Coress the grail
>>5285905That is clearly bait for Orkuzashi. Look you can see the box that is supposed to fall on him when he gets close to it
>>5285910Everyone looks at Orkuzashi pitifully as it falls on him.Everyone.
>>5285909>>5285910Why would such eyes full of wanting be a trap! Pull out bag of sand and pull and Indiana Jones.
>>5285910I look to see who is holding the rope that is attached to the stick that is holding up the box.
>>5285912And now he gets in trouble with the Mouse.
>>5285912>>5285914>>5285912 "Honestly I didn't even think that would work"
>>5285925"You clearly don't know Orkuzashi that well than"The Mob Knights then attack the Elite Knight with a tag team attack
>>5285925Sneak into the chamber where the cultist practice their macho, homoerotic rituals to take the grail
>>5285925Rattle the box widely scared and confused.
Rolled 45, 23 = 68 (2d100)>>5285930Roll 1d100. He has a +10 bonus>>5285936Roll 1d100 to sneak
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>5285954We will simply win
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5285954Use speed to get in quickly
>>5285955>>5285956The Mob slams into the Elite Knight! While the Twinkle Knight dashes past the rogue knights and into the cultists' chamber Weeb still under the box
>>5285959What is inside the forbidden chamber
>>5285959Ram with new box armor in to bad guy
>>5285959Keep hitting the Elite knight with super cool tag team attacks
Rolled 10, 3, 30, 1 = 44 (4d100)>>5285963>>5285965Roll 1d100The enemy has a +10 bonus>>5285962What deep dark secrets could this chamber hold?Roll 1d100. Higher your roll is, the less bad it iss
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>5285975URAAAAAAAH
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>5285975This knight will fall before the power of friendship
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>5285975
>>5285975Why are there like 4 dice though
>>5285977>>5285975sorry, forgot to ID as mob knight
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5285975
>>5285977>>5285979>>5285987 >>5285982The mob continues ganging up on the Elite Knight as the Weeb rams his box into another rogue knight. It wasn't very effective.As for Twinkle. Well. She found....
>>5285989I ask the Elite Knight why he won't just die already.
Rolled 32, 11 = 43 (2d100)>>5285994"You clowns could never kill me with those weakass attacks"Roll 1d100 against my 2 rolls+10 for the Rogue knights>>5285990The sight of man ass has sent Lilly into a rage
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>5285997URAAAAHHHHHH
>>5285997"IT'S THE ANGRY ONE. SET MANASS TO MAXIMUM."
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5285997"Then explain how your expensive premium armor is getting dinged and dirty as we fight!"
>>5285999>>5285998>>5286000OH NO. THE MANASS IS OVERPOWERING EVERYTHING
>>5286001"Now, I have seen my fair share of man ass in my time, but I have never seen man ass radiating evil magic." I ask the rogue knights if this was their plan the whole time
>>5286006THE MANASS FORCE FIELD...HIS ASSFIELD, IS TOO STRONG! IT'S REPELLING ALL ATTACKS!>>5286008"....No. Pretty sure this wasn't part of the plan at all""I hate this city"
>>5286009"So do you guys wanna help us fight the Man Ass? We can go get beer afterwards."
>>5286009>>5286011Yeah offer them beer as our diplomacy roll.
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5286011>>5286013"Hmmmmmm"Roll 1d100 for diplomacy
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>5286018I believe in our supreme Mob Knight charm
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5286018oh shit niggaURAAAAAAAH
>>5286022>>5286021"Alright. We'll help. But we're not going out for beer afterwards""What? Why?""C'mon boys, alcohol's bad for your health""uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh""maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan"
>>5286026damn I'm glad our LIlly knight isn't as bad as theirs
>>5286026"I would present my 35 page thesis on the values and benefits of getting wasted, but our companion is literally getting ass-blasted right now. We should probably help.""Also could one of you disarm the trap the weeb is stuck in?"
>>5286038I show our new allies one of our ultimate techniques. I throw the weeb at the ass
>>5286042Pick up the Weeb and use him as a tool to bash the Night Knight.
>>5286051I try to stop Gustaf and play it off as a joke "That's just how Gustaf says he is glad to have new friends."
>>5286051LOOK OUT SCYTHE KNIGHT THE MANASS IS COMING FOR YOU
>>5286051Wait, are we on the same side now? What is going on today?
>>5286055The mob persuaded the rogue knights to join us against the evil Man Ass by using our charming Mob Knight charm. And also beer but it turns out they are all straight edge
>>5286053>>5286054>>5286055Before the Night Knight can respond, the power Cultist's Man Ass claps once again, sending out another massive shockwave, knocking everyone around
>>5286058well the rogue knights were going to betray them anyway so
>>5286058Chuck the Weeb at the Man Ass with great fervor. Aim for in-between the cheeks for massive damage!
>>5286061THE ASS FIELD IS TOO STRONG. THE WEEB CAN'T PENETRATE! HE IS FROZEN IN MID-AIR!>>5286059"What? Pffffft. WhaT? Naaaahhh. Noooo""Yeah, what are you talking about. We'd never do that""Totally"
>>5286067Only three of you answered.
>>5286067Throw Night Knight at the Ass, surely his edgyness will allow him to cut through the field with ease!
>>5286068"Because OP is a lazy fuck">>5286069"Just because I wear bat themed armor doesn't mean I'm edgy. C'mon now"
>>5286075So what are you, a Batman type of guy or a Morbius one
>>5286075Throw our Lilly Knight in to the field for talking about shit movies. The Ass-Field has to break eventually.
>>5286075The problem is we're not fighting fire with fire; unleash the MOB KNIGHT ASS
>>5286077They repelled me the first time, idiot. And Morbius was truly an unappreciated classic.
>>5286076>>5286077>>5286078>>5286081"STAND BACK! THEY'RE GONNA MOB!"
>>5286090Stand around while the Mob claps some man ass.
>>5286093The power of Mob-ius is too great. OP will now have to suspend thread. See ya all laterupdates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5286096The Mob Knights are certainly one of the knights of all time. They were trained, their armor was made and they have weapons
>>5286096we did itthe battle of the capeshit memes
hey op, new civ when? mob civ when?
>>5287177When the stars are right
>>5287299Orkuzashi uses box as stealth mode.... like his eastern island animez!
>>5287299Are the stars right
>>5292827Knew we should've sacrificed more vtuber bodypillows
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>5286096look.It's moving.It's alive.It's alive!It's moving!IT'S ALIVE!IT'S ALIVE!
thread soon ish
how the fuck does OP even keep running, when does he stop, when does he plan to stop and why are we still even here, hundreds soon a thousand threads of quests away and still masturbating over the same pictures of king, will in 10 years we still be playing squidman quest part 3
>>5298217Bring back Shotasniffer. We must learn how skeleton boobs work.
>>5298236We must never learn how skeleton boobs work
>>5298236two massive cartilages
>>5298202Squidman quest would be an interesting naughtical adventure. Unlike the submarine one..
>>5299354Best sea-based adventure has always been Crab Knight
op failed us again. boo
>>5301026hows the mobin time
>>5301054One of the stage plays of all time
>>5301057IT'S A #MOBSWEEP
>>5301065Please babe we have watches Mob for 50 times today in 10 different tv's at the same time, can we watch something else?
>>5301065>>5301067Wait, it beat Vampire Hunters: Endgame? The one where The King, Shotasniffer, Dickass Thief, Edward, and Future Boxer teamed up with the remaining Vampire Hunters to defeat Lolisniffer the Mad Skeleton once and for all?
>>5301065how much SRP gross?
>>5301065W-what's in the sixth place?
Have you guys ever heard of mobcoin? mobcoin is crypto and its pretty interessing, all your mobcoin is protected in the blockchain, but what is the blockchain you may ask? Its this huge enchanted cube shapes crypt that flies high in the sky and records every transction ever made in the blockchain, and since mobcoin is crypto then it is superior to goldcoins making mobcoins the most worthwhile investimento you could throw ALL your life savings at.
>>5301084back to omni cultist butt
>>5301084SRP is priceless, got it
>>5301084So that's what everyone is doing now, huh, watching Mob
>>5301085Battle Theme plays loudly over the soundtrack
>>5301089if we shove a knife up his butt will he die
>>5301095It would be very painful
>>5301100he's a big guyfor youdo it
Rolled 92, 193, 239, 476 = 1000 (4d500)>>5301101Thanks to the other Rogue Knights helping out, Roll 4d100 to throw this knife through his butt aura. Your result is the sum of all 4 rolls. His is which ever one of my roll's the highest
Rolled 25, 16, 64, 49 = 154 (4d100)>>5301106>476HIS POWER, TOO STRONG
Rolled 97, 14, 54, 13 = 178 (4d100)>>5301106>>5301107Weeb throws Twinkle to accelerate the knife further
Rolled 19, 84, 31, 94 = 228 (4d100)>>5301106am I helping
>>5301107>>5301111>>5301112With your powers combined, you managed to pierce through the Ass Barrier and stabbed the Booty Cultist in the left cheek!
>>5301118Damnit, was aiming for his butthole
>>5301118Weeb kicks his ass. Literally.>>5301121On the upside, we destroyed like 50% of his ass.
Rolled 32, 330, 440, 152 = 954 (4d500)>>5301124Roll 4d100, same deal as before
Rolled 27, 64, 27, 91 = 209 (4d100)>>5301127mob get two rolls right
Rolled 27, 27, 23, 89 = 166 (4d100)>>5301127
Rolled 59, 55, 28, 31 = 173 (4d100)>>5301127
Rolled 68, 80, 23, 85 = 256 (4d100)>>5301127I am helping!
>>5301129>>5301130>>5301131fucking internet bugged out
>>5301140everyone else is disturbed by this action
>>5301144>twinkle seething because she couldn't shove a knife up a man's assdisgracefur
>>5301149>>5301148>furyou got something to admit to the group?
>>5301149mobs seen things you couldn't imagine
>>5301140Weeb slices the omnicultist's knee tendons so he can't squat and make Twinkle crave his ass anymore
>>5301159dropped the tracking device
>>5301160do not trust skeleton pedophiles
>>5301168how is the omnicultist
>>5301168Yea, we are better to not fuck around with IRS
Rolled 158, 51, 336, 144 = 689 (4d500)>>5301169He's gonna retaliate.
Rolled 164 (1d400)>>5301171with power given us by IRS
Rolled 69, 45, 11, 89 = 214 (4d100)>>5301171fuck
Rolled 45, 72, 94, 56 = 267 (4d100)>>5301171>>5301172wait wrong dice
>>5301177WE NEED TO BREAK HIS SHIELD WITH SOMETHING
>>5301177throw mobs at it
Rolled 85, 209, 329, 184 = 807 (4d500)>>5301182Roll to throw the Mob at the ass
Rolled 93, 28, 31, 89 = 241 (4d100)>>5301186come on that ain't fair
Rolled 18, 26, 56, 55 = 155 (4d100)>>5301186nyeeeeh
Rolled 24, 15, 21, 96 = 156 (4d100)>>5301186nice to see you actually running the thread for once, OP
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5301187>>5301189>>5301190With the help from everyone. The Mob Knights are launched through the Booty Barrier and right into the Cultist's AssRoll 1d100 for seemingly no reason
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5301191Uh oh
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>5301191OH GOD HIS ASSalso OP you better keep the bread running for the next 5 hours
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>5301191eh, I'm sure it's fiiine
>>5301194The Omnicultist CLENCHES HARD!The Mob is now trapped between his cheeks>>5301194I make no promises
>>5301201shove the weeb in to widen
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>5301201>>5301203Come on Weeb, we're waiting for ya
Rolled 78, 156, 248, 124 = 606 (4d500)>>5301205>>5301203OH SHIT
>>5301201Observe this event from a safe distance.
>>5301207>>5301208nigga you better help too
Rolled 98, 37, 42, 91 = 268 (4d100)>>5301209>>5301207I roll 4d100 to observe the event.
Rolled 41, 70, 88, 67 = 266 (4d100)>>5301207
>>5301214WHACK US IN, GUSTAFCOME ON
>>5301214Need more power, chuck the Elite Knight in to the crack as well.
Rolled 149, 409, 140 = 698 (3d500)>>5301214Wait! He suddenly jumps into the air!Roll 1d100 to defend yourselves
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>5301224
Rolled 100 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5301224Hmm.
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5301224jesus christ
>>5301225>>5301226>>5301227The cultist used the 3 clenched between his cheeks as a weapon to slam into the ground, scattering everyone
>>5301233we need to defeat him like, now
>>5301233Roll upon hitting the ground to avoid damage to the more squishy bits of the Knight.
>>5301233Perform inside-out harakiri on him, NOW
Rolled 323, 375, 147 = 845 (3d500)>>5301239>>5301240>>5301245Roll 4d100 for the final ASSault on the Ass CultistThe Rogue Knights will provide a bonus of +50 to your final sum
Rolled 84 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5301246Defeat this man so we can defeat the Rouge Knights in peace!
Rolled 9, 28, 76, 7 = 120 (4d100)>>5301246*booming voice from inside ass* WITNESS MEE
Rolled 90, 6, 25 + 89 = 210 (3d100 + 89)>>5301247>>5301246Oh, it was a 4d100.Here's the full roll with the first roll accounted
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>5301246
Rolled 50, 1, 100, 99 = 250 (4d100)>>5301246Oops. Wrong dice. First time.
Rolled 16, 35, 92, 71 = 214 (4d100)>>5301246
>>5301258OP's weighed dice.
>>5301270Excellent work, Brothers! Now locate the Grail before the cultists steal it away again.
>>5301276Yes! Do that! Retrieve the grail!....in about eh, 4-5 hours. I gotta step out for a bitToodles
>>5301497This is the grail? It looks strange
>>5301516I think we've been had, Brothers. The Rouge Knights must've ran off with the grail as we were winning a fight worthy of a level up.
>>5301516Who are you, little man? Are you a knight too? Like...little knight?
>>5301516Does he weigh as much as a duck?
>>5301521And who are you, mysterious anon knight
>>5301525SIr Anon, King of the Austist
>>5301528eyo dont molest the anons
>>5301537Throw the Anon out of the Quest and look for the Grail.
>>5301537Grab neckWHERE IS THE GOBLET!?
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>5301537Are we here to grab ass or to kick ass?!
>>5301537Then how are we supposed to be build a bridge out of him? OP be reasonable!
Rolled 275, 267, 517, 249, 313 = 1621 (5d678)>>5301542SEIZE THIS MAN RIGHT THIS INSTANT
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5301538Having banished the anon to the shadowrealm, you may now roll 1d100 to look for the grail
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>5301545watch us fail
Rolled 72 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5301545Hmm.
>>5301545>>5301547hoory shet it is mythical ying yang...
>>5301547Oh hey there it is
>>5301552pour sake in it and have a sip
>>5301553>>5301552Slap the Weeb away from the Grail before he does his weebshit.
>>5301555use judo on gustaf and throw him over the shoulder
Rolled 26 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5301561Fucking weebs.
Rolled 52 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5301561I also get +5 for using his momentum against him
so as I was saying, pour sake in holy grail and take a sip
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>5301561
>>5301579Suplex twinkle, women can't touch holy relics
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>5301579Sip and become strong
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5301584SUPLEX
>>5301595>>5301579Observe the Suplex.
>>5301584>>5301595Oh noes.Misogyny Roll 1d100 against each otherThe Lilly Knight has a +2 speed bonus over the Weeb
Rolled 27 + 2 (1d100 + 2)>>5301601
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>5301601
>>5301601I look to back at the rogue knights. I sure hope they aren't doing anything nefarious while we aren't looking
>>5301603>>5301604MY GOD! THE WINNER IS-- >>5301606They're planning something, kinda sus
>>5301611Is this even the real Grail?
>>5301611I try to sneak into the huddle
>>5301611>pocket the grail when no one's looking
>>5301611Agreed, is that the real grail?
>>5301611Oh no. It broke
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>5301613Depends, has anyone drank from it yet>>5301614
>>5301620Peek at what the rogue knights are looking at!
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>5301620Hmmm...Lily, here, a bit of sake to make you feel better about losing, you get the first sip
>>5301620Claim "battered woman" and get unstuck
>>5301621Roll 1d100, get equal to or better than 58
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5301627URAAAAAH
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5301627
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>5301622Rolling against this simp
>>5301630"This is getting shittier by the minute. Nobody told me the cult has Ass-based super powers""Well it's a good thing the ritual didn't even start then.""So what now? Definitely let those other assholes get their hands on the grail. Fuck knows what they'll do with it""We proceed with the plan. We smash the thing. Escape. Then I'm gonna take a bath and sleep for 5 days""Is that grail over there even real? How do we know it's not a decoy?""Well there's no sign of somebody gaining ultimate power anywhere else in the city. So this grail should be the real deal....Or the cult prefer to time their rituals based on dramatic tension">>5301624You have unstuck yourself
>>5301651GET BACK TO LILY KNIGHT AND WEEBWE GOTTA ESCAPE WITH THE GRAIL
>>5301651If I drink from this will I see my waifu?
>>5301661>>5301651Do not drink from the Grail, rice-head. Let's just take it and leave.
>>5301651>>5301659Escape with fellow alcoholics
>>5301673Slap weebOnly WE get to drink from that grail
>>5301673NO WEEB! THE CULTIST CORRUPTED THE GRAIL OR SOME SHIT! DON'T LISTEN TO THE WHISPERS
>>5301673Slap the weeb on the wrist until he puts down the Grail
>>5301673Must not fall for round eye TRICKS!
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5301676>>5301677>>5301680>>5301681Oh shitRoll 1d100
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5301687whack
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5301687LET GO YOU JAPANESE WORSHIPPING FUCK
Rolled 35 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5301687Fucking weebs!
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5301687
>>5301690Smacked him right into....the next session.Which is....I dunno when will it be. It' close to 3AM. am sleepy. See ya all next timeupdates:https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>5301687
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5301705Weeb deploys landing gear
What happens when you defy the MOB
>>5308353>>5308362Give it about 5 hours
>>5309224Cancelled dude to knight bringing a skeleton body pillow
>>5309224That is photoshopped and badly at that.
>>5309349Yes, it's time to put the dream to rest.
>>5309354Salute the Weeb as he passes quietly in to the night.
>>5309365Now take the Grail and leave the room before the rest of the knights reconnect to the server.
>>5309367BUt Gustaf. Think about the good times! Think about your friendship!
>>5309370You're right. Carry the Mob out with the Grail, leave the other two potatoes behind.
>>5309370Hey King. Can I get a quick rundown on what happened since we entered that tower with the goblin museum. Cuz I kind out of loop and need a G to help me out.
>>5309370Come on! Don't kill me yet! I'm still alive, I think...
>>5309373>>5309375"Ah, you must have alcohol-induced brain damaged, Cain. You see, after you entered the museum, you managed to find the secret entrance to the hidden cultist altar inside said museum. Managing to reach the chamber before the ritual can happen, you had a scuffle with a group of Rogue Knights over the grail. But you had a temporary truce when you were all attacked by a cultist wielding the power of booty. After defeating the Booty Cultist, both teams are currently regrouping to think of what to do next. And Gustaf is taking advantage of the situation to grab the grail and run" Thank you, alcohol induced hallucination of the King
>>5309388I'm not just taking the Grail, I'm bringing along my pals the Mob too. We must escape now before the plot can progress and the Rogue Knights attack.
>>5309388>>5309390Orkuzashi feel very sad for being an lonely knight with no friends...
>>5309411Damn guys, I don't know why but I'm suddenly not in the mood to fight. Lets just grab Lilly, the grail, and go get some beers
>>5309411Grab Cain and the Grail, then bail
>>5309411Just simple follow the others while comforting ourself with bottle of melon soda.
>>5309411Grab Abel, the grail and bail
>>5309411>>5309444I can't even get the name field right, I am so beaten in t
>>5309411>Weeb takes a swig of melon sake and thinks about his waifu pillow back at home>>5309393>>5309428firesnake? more like flaccidsnake
A daring escape!
>>5309501JUMP FOR IT!
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5309503OH SHIT iT'S A QTE!
Rolled 83 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5309504WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT
>>5309506Look at that budget
>>5309507Impressive as always. Thank the lord, Toddus Howardus, for this excellent sequence.The Knights land in a convenient haystack and take 0 fall damage.
>>5309510What a amazing reference to the hit game franchise Assassin's Creed by Ubisoft
>>5309507Do we land on wagon with haystack?>>5309461Snakes have two p**nis...
>>5309519Double the flaccidity
>>5309564If the hay is on a cart we hide under it, otherwise hop out and continue our valiant escape
>>5309569Roll 1d6 to see if you're conveniently in a hay cart.get >3
Rolled 5 (1d6)>>5309575Rollingu
>>5309582Roll the cart down the road to continue the daring escape.
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>5309585Right, just gotta give it a lil push.Roll 1d100
Rolled 77 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5309588Oh no. My worst enemy, dice rolls.
>>5309589"THOSE FUCKERS ARE GETTING AWAY!"
>>5309600WE FUCKERS ARE GETTING AWAY! Flip off the Rogue Knights as we speed down the street.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>5309605
Rolled 33 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5309615Oh no.
>>5309633Wait you're going down hill. How are you gonna ram backwards?
>>5309634Oh no I mean build up speed to ram anything in the way of our escape
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>5309635Aight sure roll 1d100
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>5309636
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>5309636Going faster
>>5309641You push your scythe at the ground, aiming to give the cart a little bit more speed.Sadly you missed
>>5309646Hey where are we going now. I sure hope we aren't heading towards something we really don't want to crash into
>>5309646Weeb pulls out a giant dragon-shaped firework to use it as a rocket propulsion
Rolled 58, 58 = 116 (2d100)>>5309651>>5309655Yes. Hopefully everything will work out fine.Roll 1d100
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5309673
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5309673Rocketo time
Rolled 3 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5309673Uh oh.
>>5309675>>5309680Yes. You are indeed heading straight into a bigass wall on the side of Tower City.>>5309677But the good news is you may not crash into it.Since the weeb dropped his firework face down into the hay pile. You may very well be blown up before even reaching the wall
>>5309684CUT THE WALL OPEN!
>>5309684>>5309685Yeah why not. Try to take the weebs rocket and throw it at the wall
Rolled 45, 21 = 66 (2d100)>>5309685>>5309687Roll 1d100
Rolled 50 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5309689DO IT, BROTHERS!
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5309689Blowing up OP behind the wall is an acceptable risk
>>5309702Bursting through the wall, the knights managed to escape! For now.We'll deal with the fallout of this later. Probably tonight or something. it's 2AM, I gotta sleep now. Toodleshttps://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>5318085Waiter there somthing in the bread. Can I have another?
>>5318085finally, some good fuckin food
>>5318085I demand 100 loaves of your finest bread
>>5318099>>5309715so, we escaped with the Grailnow what?
>>5318099>>5318101Now we look at it
>>5318101After your daring escape. You know, deep inside your soul, what you must do.Give OP your money
>>5318110I subscribe to his Twitch with Prime and give him 100 bits.
>>5318110give him Weeb's money
>>5318110We continue to escape from OP and his greed.
>>5318114>>5318115>>5318116>>5318117C'mon man, I just need three fiddy
>>5318120the Twitch sub and bits is $3.50
>>5318120how about you show us some plot firstthen I'll consider it
>>5318127But yeah check out that grail tho
>>5318135Do not check out this grail, it's power corrupts even the strongest warrior.Cover the Grail in a blanket to limit it's influencing power.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>5318135Drink deep of the Chalice to gain its powers for our own.
>>5318135>>5318136But wouldn't that mean it's UNholy?
>>5318135I AM GETTING TEMPTED TO DRINK OUT OF IT
>>5318136>>5318138>>5318140>>5318143Look at him, he covers up the grail! Denying you all its wonderful fabulous powers. Clearly he's coveting it for himself.
>>5318145PUSH GUSTAV OUT OF THE WAYWE GOTTA DRINK, BUDDY
>>5318140The Grail's nature was strictly on a need-to-know basis so I can not answer if it is good or evil, but the Grandmaster of the Order was clear: The Grail must not be used by any mortal.>>5318147BROTHER, NO! WE MUST ESCAPE TOWER CITY WHILE WE STILL CAN! ALL OUR LIVES ARE IN PERIL UNTIL IT HAS BEEN SECURED!
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>5318145I'll crouch behind Gustaf while you push him, Abel!
>>5318145Pretend to not care while making plans to grab it after the other 4 die horribly
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>5318156URAAAAAAAAAAAH
Rolled 51 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5318156NO, BROTHER! DO NOT FALL TO THE TEMPTATIONS! REMEMBER THE WISDOM OF THE PAMPHLETS!
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5318156
>>5318156this is hilarious
>>5318180UNCOVER THE GRAILNOW
>>5318180>>5318185NO! YOU WILL DOOM US ALL, YOU FOOL!
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>5318180DRAGON SUPLEX!
is OP taking a massive shit
>>5318185>>5318187>>5318194>>5318221Much apologagogies. I was kinda tired from a thing so I sorta passed out for a bit
>>5318236TIME TO DRINK AND UNLEASH THIS CAN OF WORMS
>>5318241Oh wait, it's currently empty since the ritual was never started. Phew. Crisis averted.Surely nothing can change this situation
>>5318249Oh okay, let's have a talk with our fellow knights herecause we clearly can't split the grail into 4 pieces
>>5318250Nor should you pour any ol' sort of liquid you may or may not have on hand into the grail and then drink that instead.But you wouldn't do that would you
>>5318252no way, OPyou're trying to trick us into something bad
>>5318254OP has never tricked anyone into anything ever
>>5318252Weeb throws Gustaf to the ground and pulls out a bottle of sake with murderous intent
>>5318257>>5318260Throw the grail at Weeb's head to knock him out!
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5318265EAT THIS SUCKA
>>5318265GET DOWN IT'S A GRENADE
Aaaaany second now
>>5318277I don't think he's coming back
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>5318265>>5318277SHiTSHITSHIT
>>5318288>>5318287OH NO NO NO
>>5318287>>5318289OH NO NO NO NO NO IT'S A MISTAKE I MEANT TO ROLL A 100
>>5318288The Mob Knight may have given the Weeb severe brain damage
>>5318296CATCH THE GRAIL AND ASK THE OTHERS IF THEY'D LIKE TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE MOB KNIGHTS
Rolled 23, 14, 18, 25, 29, 3, 13, 5, 5, 9, 22, 22, 14 = 202 (13d37)>>5318296...weeb's brain can't really get worse at this point>GRAB THE HOLY GRAIL MID-AIR
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5318297>>5318303oh shit look at it goRoll 1d100 to catch it
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>5318306YOU WON'T HAVE THIS GRAIL, WEEB
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>5318306URAAAAAH
>>5318149WHERE ARE YOU BROTHER, ROLL
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>5318306UH OH
>>5318307>>5318323>can't even roll above 44lol, lmao
>>5318326>>5318323LILY KNIGHTIT'S TIME TO TEAM UP AGAINST WEEBHE'S TOO MUCH OF A THREAT
>>5318326>>5318332PURIFY THE WEEB FROM HIM, BEFORE THEY CLAIM IT
>>5318326>WEEB POURS SAKE in the HOLY GRAIL, takes a SIP and offers some to the other knights and knightette as a PEACE OFFERING
>>5318332>>5318335you lowly creatures, can't you see this artificial conflict is here only so that QM doesn't have to give us any plot?
>>5318339THE ARTIFICIAL CONFLICT IS THE PLOT>>5318337ALSO WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE NOW IT'S GLOWING EVILLY
>>5318339How dare you imply that OP is a lazy fuck Anyway everyone involved roll 1d100
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>5318348
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5318348KICK IT OUT OF WEEB'S HANDS
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>5318348GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY GRAIL
>>5318367CAIN JUMPS OFF ABEL'S BACK TO GET THE GRAIL!
>>5318367>>5318370WEEB JUMPS ON ABEL'S HEAD TO GET THE GRAIL
>>5318367I JUST NEED TO BORROW IT FOR A SEC
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>5318370>>5318373Oh shiiiiiiiit
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>5318376
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>5318376AAAAAAAAAA
>>5318397ALL I NEED IS TO TURN THIS IN FOR MY PROJECT AND YOU ALL CAN HAVE YOUR TURN BYE
>>5318398SHE'S GETTING AWAY
>>5318399QUICK GET ON OUR PONY
>>5318399YES I AM
>>5318401"You have to let me go, Abel. The accident wasn't your fault"Pony nooooooo
>>5318407i meant OUR DONKEYour assour replacement to our ponyGET AFTER HER
>>5318407THE SCHOOL WHERE IS IT
>>5318399Attempt to trip Lily Knight with the scythe before she gets away.
>>5318408>>5318409>>5318420Roll 1d100 against eachother and add your best bonusesImma head off to bed after this one. We'll continue later
Rolled 71 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5318423WEEEE
Rolled 66 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5318423URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Rolled 22 + 13 (1d100 + 13)>>5318423Hmm.
Rolled 3 + 13 (1d100 + 13)>>5318433>>5318433Re-roll. Hmm.
>>5318435Right, time to go home.
>>5318433>>5318429>>5318428S-SHE'S FAST!IF SHE LEAVES THE TOWER CITY'S BORDERS, IT'S ALL OVER FOR THE REST OF THE KNIGHTS!to be concluded, whenever.updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
Rolled 35 + 8 (1d100 + 8)>>5318441FUCK LEMME ROLL
>>5318441Take a short cut and use my size to stop her dastardly escape
>>5319687Weeb gives Gustaf a complementary ass kick to accelerate him towards le Twink knight.
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5323273That's a good looking sandwich.
>>5323273Why does a bread need armor?
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>5323305>>5323273
>>5323282To fight other hostile pastries
>>5323311Sourdough ... you were always jealous of my friendship to the Grain King. HAVE AT THEE!
>>5323311Can we go home now?
*plugs nintendo 64 controller in OP's eyesocket*we good to go
>>5323313>>5323329Depends. Would you want to go home knowing that you let the Lilly Knight win?
>>5323344Wait so did the knight civil war start yet? Mob the grail or whatever.
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>5323344I'm going to use the ancient technique passed down in my family's line for generations to stop Lilly Knight.STAND BACK!
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5323345Yes. Lilly Knight took the Grail and ran off>>5323347OH SHIT WHAT HE DOIN
>>5323352Stop ork from stopping lilly
>>5323352Lily Knight has disconnected from the server. Take a walk around the corner to find the Grail.
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>5323352First, grab the grappling hook. Watch carefully now. You gotta stay loose, relaxed. Keep your feet apart. Now, ten o'clock, two o'clock, quarter to three, tour jeté, twist, pas de deux, I'm a little teapot, then the windup... and let 'er fly! The Perfect Cast.
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5323352>>5323367TL;DR LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOO MOTHERFUCKEEEEERRR
>>5323356>>5323367OH SHIT THE MOB ARE TRYING TO STOP THE PERFECT CAST>>5323360You head towards the corner, hoping to find the Lilly Knight's comatose body
>>5323385Now listen here cowboy, this here town ain't big enough for us two I tell ya!
>>5323385Take a deep breath to steady yourself AND KICK CAIN IN THE BALLS
Rolled 8 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5323385I turn the corner and find...
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5323390>>5323396As Cain speaks about Tower City's overpopulation problem, the weeb swings his foot at the Mob Knight's ballsRoll 1d100. Use your Speed as bonus>>5323404Lesseeee here
Rolled 17 + 8 (1d100 + 8)>>5323405FENG SHUI
Rolled 30 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5323405>53 against 13Hmm... I think I will chance my re-roll on this. No more Grail shenanigans please.
>>5323412Nevermind, carry on with Grail shenanigans.
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>5323405
>>5323412While the Mob and Weeb resolve their ballsack-related shenanigans.Gustaf turns the corner and find...Roll 1d100100: the Lilly Knight, AFK80-99: The Lilly Knight, but OP's controlling60-79: The thugs, looking for revenge40-59: The cultists, trying to get back the grail20-39: The rogue Knights, having caught up to you1-29: All of the above options except for the Lilly Knight ones
Rolled 46 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5323428Man, this is some bullshit
>>5323430"WHERE'S THE GRAIL, ASSHOLE"
>>5323441I wish I knew the answer to that question myself. It is currently in the possession of the aggressive lesbian knight, whos' location is unknown. Stand aside so I may continue my search.
>>5323441Weeb performs a katana AOE on those cultists
>>5323446"Aaaaah that's bullshit""We know you're in cahoots! Stop hiding her"They don't seem to budge. Would you:A. AttackB. Just walk through them, what are they gonna do?C. Use your Will to intimidate themD. [insert own action here]>>5323455>>5323460Or if any of those fails, the weeb can just jump in.The Mob Knight's balls are now stuck in the shadowrealm until the Mob comes back and roll
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>5323463I emeerge
>>5323463>Just walk through them, what are they gonna do?I don't have time for this.
>>5323472We need to bring the grail back to boss before he cuts our bonus again
>>5323472>>5323473NO! MY SHOGUN SAID WE MUST AQUIRE THE GRAIL FOR IT WILL BRING BACK ONE OF OUR HISTORIES GREATEST HERO! Female King Authur...
>>5323470Fortunately, it seems that during your escapades, you've slain all the muscular cultists that could have actually stopped you from doing this>>5323473
>>5323481We might not be able to afford our average daily consumption rate of twelve liters of beer a day without the bonus! WHERE THE GRAIL AT
>>5323481Stop by the nearest Messenger Bird coop. A message must be delivered.
>>5323481If we listen too each other's heart Doing the perfect cast
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>5323488You approach the nearest available messenger bird coop. >>5323482>>5323491The Grail! Twinkle has it! But because there's nobody controlling her right now. She's currently inside that offscreen realm where characters go until the plot calls for them to appear againAlso weeb roll 1d100
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5323500
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>5323500I SM THE STORM THAT IS APPROOACHINGPROVOKING
BLACK CLOUDS IN ISOLATIOON
>>5323500"The Grail has been found, though extracting it from the city is proving difficult. Mobilization of further Order assets neccessary to guarantee the security of the Grail. By the Goddesses will shall we be victorious. Faith and Honor!"Send the message off to the Order Headquarters.
>>5323500Ask Twinkly for grail
>>5323505>>5323514>>5323515Sadly the Lilly KNight doesn't respond
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>5323542The wind is right. Throw the Perfect Cast into the Void to retrieve the Grail.
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5323592>>5323542This
>>5323665Yeah I kinda passed out