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>>5194190
And guess what. You're one of those Rogues!

Cool!

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>>5194193
As the night sets in, the New City comes to life!

You can feel it in the air... Tonight is the night!

That's right! It's time for a good, old fashioned HEIST!

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>>5194199
Except, you've been going through a bit of a depressive phase lately.

In fact, ever since you decided to become a Rogue, you haven't done a single heist.

For the last week, you've just stayed home and played old PC games on your computer...

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But this ends tonight!

Do not worry, you've got what it takes. In fact, you got a special something on your side - that's right, you've got a real, honest to god SUPER POWER!

Now, what was it again?

Post ideas and suggestions in the thread. It can be as simple or as complex as you want. You can even just post words or jpegs you have on your computer, i'll figure it out.

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dehydration

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>>5194206
You can make donuts, in all senses of that word, including topographically and cosmologically.

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>>5194206
The ability to turn offensive slurs into words of power/ special abilities like pic related. The more offensive it is the more bullshit it is, I,E FUCK would have a very minor/small effect, but NIGGER would do something more drastic. Each slur should have a different effect. Comes with the consquence of being a known racist/sexist/whateverism

You can see most things coming, due to being hyper-aware of the narrative plot devices that guide the outcome of everything in your universe. But you can't do anything about them.

>>5194220
Meta power are cringe. I don't want to be some dumb deadpool wannabe.

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>>5194206
>Blessed by Thoth
Gifted with the ability to understand and speak any language, along with a photographic memory and bird accomplices. However only under the light of the mood do your powers truly shine.

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>>5194207
>>5194209
Okay, okay, I think I have an idea. Gonna wait for just a couple more responses to round it out

>>5194216
That's not elegant at all! We are a gentlemen thief, not a 12 year old playing call of duty!
>>5194220
>>5194224
I'm afraid this will happen regardless of super power

>>5194230
>We get stronger at higher elevations. Why? Because we're like distantly related to mountain goats or something.

(ayy white tower qm welcome back)

>>5194230
You can control how sharp things can be

>>5194206
We form a portal between any two openings of similar shape and size.

>>5194230
You can turn yourself and anything you touch intangible

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>>5194207
>>5194206
AS I WAS SAYING - from your mom you inherited incredible hydrokinetic abilities!

More specifically, a power called Water Thief!

With just a touch, you can absorb moisture from anything that has water! (Not instantly, but like, really quickly)

Many house plants perished before you figured out you have this power.

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>>5194267
The water is then stored in a donut shaped organ inside your gut! All the moisture is compressed to an incredible degree - this bad boy can somehow store up to a hundred liters at once!

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And then you can shoot out the water you stored in cool, water streams!

After months of practicing, you learned to control the power and pressure of your water squirts!

You can shoot out short squirts with strong concussive force, and even cool water blade squirts that can cut through stuff! Wow!

Who knows what else your power can do? Maybe it will let you turn yourself and anything you touch intangible somehow? Or form a portal between any two openings of similar shape and size??

That'd be pretty cool. But probably not. You're a squirt based super thief now.

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Now, okay, listen me out, power to absorb and squirt water might not sound amazing, BUT it's not all you got!

Your dad was one of those Super Brainy kind of guys who built tons of Super Tech before he died. All of it is lost now, except for one device!

One Super Tech gadget is in your possession! Now, what was it again?

Describe a peace of super technology or like a cool gadget that will help our hero on his heist!

>>5194276
>An animal translation chip that we put into our childhood pet. Whatever that is.

>>5194276
really cool glove thing

>>5194276
Mex-Ray Goggles that let us see through things and people, and also gives everything an exciting fiesta atmosphere

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If we're an thief, then maybe we should have an disguise kit

>>5194279
Supporting. Sidekick time.

>>5194276

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>>5194279
>>5194287
>>5194293
>>5194311
THAT'S RIGHT - Your dad left you Mr. Crumbs, the Cyborg Seagull!

>"GIVE ME FOOD, HUMON"

Your mom and dad were a sea themed pair of rogues, and dad made this bird because "Seagulls are the true rogues of the sea". You don't even like the sea. You get seasick easily.

Anyways, Mr. Crumbs is basically just a super tough seagull. He normally just does seagull stuff, but you can control him with a voice activated device inside your right glove.

As a bonus, there is a device inside your mask, that let's you see through Mr. Crumbs camera eyes whenever you want!

Mr. Crumbs used to also have lasers in his eyes, but they broke long time ago and you don't have the Super Brains needed to fix them.

>>5194306
nonsense, that would be actually useful, why would we want that

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>>5194323
Okay, listen! Yeah, maybe your powers aren't amazing, and maybe the only super tech you got is literally just a bird.

BUT, it's not done yet! We can still salvage this!

You have a TALENT! That's right, a special skill that you developed on your own! It's a not a super power, but you're are *super* good at it!

What is it??? What is your special skill?? It's better be a good one, or we are scrapping the whole heist idea and going back to playing old pc games!

>>5194324
Holding our breath, but for like, a really really really long time.

>>5194324
>Swimming

Hey, wait a second, wouldn't we honestly make a better pirate than thief at this point?

>>5194327
What is a pirate, then a water thief?

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>>5194327
>Hey, wait a second, wouldn't we honestly make a better pirate than thief at this point?

NO! THAT'S STUPID!
Your parents were Super Pirates and you hated it. You hated the ocean. You hated living on the boat. It all just made you vomit.

You gonna be a Super Rogue! Jumping from roof to roof, running away from Super Detectives and having romantic adventures with various cat themed femme fatales! You know, Rogue stuff!

>>5194324
You were pretty good with chemistry in high school.

>>5194334
Dang. Sorry I didn't mean to pick a nerve there, man. I support you.

>>5194324
We are really good at acting innocent. Obviously less helpful if we are caught red handed, but before then, people are more likely to be suspicious of someone else rather than us.

>>5194334
>Your parents were Super Pirates
Dude, that's like the coolest thing ever, what are you? G-Never mind. (I mean jeez)

Ok, you're great at swordsmanship, swashbuckler.

>>5194335
Support.

>>5194324

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>>5194327
You do know how to swim. Your dad threw you into the ocean when you were 2 years old so you'd learn or drown. But that's not your special talent, that's just your childhood trauma.

>>5194335
You didn't go to high school, you spend your childhood on a boat.

BUT, an evil genius guy who worked for your dad have taught you advanced chemistry, as well general sciences!

That's right, in a unexpected turn of events, you're actually pretty smart! In addition to your CHEMISTRY!skill, you get a general +1 to all science related rolls!

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>>5194372
And that's it for your assets!

We are almost ready for the heist, just one last thing!

We need a cool name! Something roguish and elegant! And NOT ocean themed!

Also, we can add one flourish or detail to our rogue suit. Preferably something that is not too hard to draw, for no reason in particular.

>>5194380
Dissolution!

As in: dissolving something, like water would, and like you would in chemistry, but ALSO it sounds like "disillusion", because we're a villain and we live in a society.

>>5194383
+1

>>5194383
+1

>>5194380
For the suit I say we should add a different mask, maybe something more dramatic and misterious. What if the mask goes like drops and looks like it's melting or something? Like tear shaped or something and falls from the eyes to our cheeks

>>5194397
Seems reasonable. Maybe a shoulder pauldron for our seagull, too?

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>>5194397
>>5194383
Of course! It's perfect! Your are the Dissolution!

It's chemistry related, and water related and also you're disillusioned in the society, after growing up in an orphanage system.

>>5194397
You decide to change your mask a little, to make it look like it's kinda melting, or like, tear shaped or something and falls from the eyes to our cheeks...and...

You ended up making it look like you're crying. You look depressing now. The experience also made you depressed, so you put a big "D" on your chest, for Dissolution.

Let's get this over with.

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STAGE ONE of every good heist is RESEARCH!

And you know that all cool and classy rogues do their research with a newspaper!

>"OPEN THE STOCKS PAGE, HUMON, I WANT TO CHECK ON MY INVESTMENTS"

You ignore the bird and open up todays paper to look for stuff to steal!

What are we stealing and from where??? It's gotta be not too hard but also cool! We gotta show this city what we are made of! But also we gotta not die or got to prison, ideally.

>>5194421
Ok let's see let's seeeeeeeeee...Oooo! Looks like we have a new exhibit in a museum! And it looks to beeeee...an ancient pirATE TREASURE!!! YES!!! Oh. It looks like most of the treasure in it has disintegrated away. Eh, still gotta be worth something.

>>5194421
A secret recipe from that weird factory downtown.

>>5194421
The bird has the right idea, you will steal the top investments from the stock exchange,it's not like those dusty bones investors could stop you, what are they going to do? put you to sleep talking about hedge funds?
It's perfect and, when your feathery buddy is at the top of the board after your little fraud, you will have all the funds you might need for future heists.

>>5194429
+1
Maybe let's first see what the top investments are before actually going to steal

>>5194429
+1 if not than rob a 7Eleven

>>5194276
>Now, okay, listen me out, power to absorb and squirt water might not sound amazing, BUT it's not all you got!
The amazing power
to drink water and then piss

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>>5194425
>>5194429
>>5194437
>>5194440
You decide to follow your metal friend's advice and check the business section.

W-what's this??? This is perfect!!!

>>5194445
To piss HARD and FAST, from EVERY ORIFICE.

>>5194429
Support.

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>>5194464
Such a terrific power in the hands of a depressed grown man

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>>5194463
Apparently the New City's Stock Exchange is having a special exposition on it's top floor!

They are showing people of New City something called THE BIGGEST STOCK. A stock that is apparently "too big to fail" and is so powerful that anyone who holds it makes a bajillion dollars every day!

The bajillionaire who owns it made an exhibit out of it, to show it off to the poors so they can indulge in the fantasy of being rich some day!

This is perfect! By stealing THE BIGGEST STOCK, you both show your disrespect towards capitalism, but also get stupid rich!

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>>5194497
And the Stock Heist is on!

You leap from rooftop to rooftop and make your way to the New City's Stock Exchange!

The BIGGEST STOCK will be yours before the night is over!

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>>5194500
You make your way to the building!

It's time for STAGE TWO of a heist - INFILTRATION! You need to make into the building, basically.

Unfortunately, it's too far away from other rooftops, so you'll have to figure out another way of getting inside.

How do we get inside???

>>5194504
Pretend to be a window washer.

>>5194504
Put some normal looking clothes on and go through the front door, if somebody asks, say that you represent a very important investor, that being your aviary companion.

>>5194507
This sounds like a good idea. And we could use our bird friend to scout.

Right now

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>>5194530
>>5194526
>>5194511
>>5194507
You use your genius intellect to figure out a perfect plan.

It took you a second to collect the right materials, but now you're ready - the infiltration begins!

You approach the guards.

>"Sorry, sir, the building is closed for tonight. Comeback tomorrow during the working hours."

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>>5194543
>"Sorry, we are a little late fellas. We are the window washing crew, here to wash the windows. Don't mind us, we'll just go right through and get to work right away. Got a looot windows to wash, oh boy!"

>"LET US IN, HUMON, WE ARE HERE TO WASH"

...somebody roll a 1d6 for your persuasion!

And then somebody also roll a 1d6+1 for Mr. Crumbs's persuasion. He gets a +1, thanks to his charming personality.

Rolled 5, 2 + 1 = 8 (2d6 + 1)

>>5194551

>>5194551
>He gets a +1, thanks to his charming personality.
... Yeah, that feels appropiate

Also, is this a Bo3 or i just don't roll because >>5194561already did?

>>5194561
5 for Dissolution!
>>5194563
You can roll for Mr.Crumbs

>>5194551

Rolled 2 + 1 (1d5 + 1)

>>5194593
For fuck sake I ALWAYS FORGET THIS SHIT

>>5194507
>>5194511
>>5194526
While I love how this brilliantly stupid plan is going, I'm pretty sure if we absorbed enough water we could use out water jets to fly a short distance.

>>5194614
We could also use the water to cut a hole in the window if we needed, since we can use it like a pressure jet.

>>5194614
>>5194616
We can storage a lot of water once we're inside, us that platform that the window cleaners use to get to any floor we need, cut the window, and when we need to get out we can either jet ourselves with the Power of water to get to the other buildings in the air, or go some floors more near to the ground and use the water to slow our fall and go running till we lose sight of the cops.

Rolled 3 (1d6)

>>5194551

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>>5194597
>>5194561
>"Alright, you come on in, but your seagull friend will have to stay. I'm sorry sir, but they still haven't passed the legislation that allows cybernetic animals to work in this state. If I let you in, the company will be liable"

>"I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS SOCIAL INJUSTICE, HUMON"

>"Yeah, yeah, move along now"

You got in! But Mr.Crumbs will have to stay outside. He will be flying around the building, doing seagull stuff.

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And then you just took an elevator to the top floor! Wow, heisting is freaking easy!

Just one last hurdle - the entrance to the hall that houses the BIGGEST STOCK is guarded by another guard. This one looks bigger, and possibly smarter than the guys downstairs.

Better think carefully about your approach!

What do you do???

>>5195556
Absorb water from the bucket and than get as close to guard as we can before we hit him with a very awesome squirt of water to knock him out

>>5195558
That's dumb. Instead, let's knock over the bucket, and then when he comes to investigate, we knock him out.

By the way, we should tell our bird to watch the area.

>>5195558
Supporting.

>>5195558
I second this, but only if we lure the guard over by throwing the broom to make a sound for him to investigate

>>5195907
Deal.

>>5195677 was my vote from mobile, and I add broom-chucking to my preferred itinerary for this evening.

>>5195556

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>>5195911
>>5195907
>>5195677
>>5195576
>>5195558
The plan is ready.

Time for the next stage of every good heist:

SUPER POWERED VIOLENCE!

You suck up the water from the bucket!

+10 Liters!

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>>5196360
You throw the broom as a distraction.

The guard is attracted by the sudden sound and can't help but investigate!

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>>5196362
The guard approaches the broom to investigate it closer (for some reason).

You got him right where you want him! Time to inflict swift, moist violence upon this overworked, underpaid goon!

But what kind of a Squirt Attack should you do? This is your ideal range, so you can make the power and pressure as high as you'd like!

What kind of squirt are we doing? Also roll a 1d6, because you are still really inexperienced with your super powers

Rolled 2 (1d6)

>>5196370
It would be cool to just cut off his head. But not gentlemanly. Let's try to just knock him out for a bit. Concussions aren't harmful in the long-term, right?

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Rolled 2 (1d6)

>>5196370
Swift concentrated bolt of concussive water to the fellows head

Rolled 2 (1d6)

>>5196370
Concussive Blast

Rolled 3 (1d6)

>>5196370
Concussive spray

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>5196370

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>>5196390
>>5196412
>>5196419
guess that's a 2 for sure, holy cow

You concentrate the water inside your hand and... and... AND... AH DAMN IT!

You squirt prematurely!

Instead of a concussive blast, you splash the guard with gentle spray of water...

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>>5196450

The guard turns around and takes off his coat!

What's this? The guard isn't a normal guard at all! It's a Guard Bot! (A robotic substitute for a normal human guard)

>"YOU! You are a thief who came to steal the BIGGEST STOCK, aren't you!? Give up now, or I will have to unleash the full power of my cybernetic might upon you!"

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>>5196453

>"W-wait!? W-what did you splash on me? Was that... Was that a small amount of lukewarm water??? N-NO! NOO! MY ONLY WEAKNESS!!!"

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>>5196455
...

You win.

Quick! Time to invent a cool catchphrase! What do you say when the plan works perfectly and totally in the way you meant it to go?

>>5196458
Knock on Wood.

>>5196458
We're an ultra cool rogue. A dweller of the shadows, a thief in the night, we don't need things like catchphrases. Those are for heroes, villains, (and pirates, stupid pirates).
>Strike a pose

>>5196463
That's better, actually.

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>>5196467
too late

>"Knock on Wood!~"

You say as you walk through the door. Nobody laughs. There is nobody there. Even if there was someone here, they would not laugh.

What even was that? Wood? What wood? Knock on it for like, luck? Huh? What does that mean? What does that have to do with anything???

Let's just get this heist over with, we can level up our one liners with all the EXP points we'll get.

It's time for the penultimate stage of a heist - GRABBING THE THING!

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You walk into the middle of the top floor and enter a T-Pose, to assess your surroundings.

To the west - A giant window overlooking the city!

To the north - The door from which you came!

To the east - A giant window overlooking the city!

To the south - It's... it's...

>>(You), the audience~

Just kidding! There is another window.

Right next to you is the BIGGEST STOCK. Oh hey, there it is.

You physical state is: GREAT!
You mental state is: GREAT!
You have 8 liters of water in your water organ.

What do u do???

>>5196476
>Assess this piece of paper
Does it actually give us access to the stock, qnd the ability to own and resell it, or is it just a graph of its performance?

>>5196476
>Grab the stock
>Cut a hole in the window with a water blast
>Order Mr. Crumb to fly up here
>Give him the stock and tell him to fly back to base with it
>Keep exploring for side-stufff to steal

(I'm sure this won't fail in some hilarious way)

>>5196478
Yes, let's see this first. We also should take care before grabbing it.

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>>5196485
>>5196478
You take a closer look at the BIGGEST STOCK.

...yep, seems legit!

What's next?

>>5196476
Heh too easy...
>Grab the stock unceremoniously
>Scan over it quickly but not carefully
>360 and cut a hole underneath us and walk away

>>5196497
Spray some water to see if there's like, lasers.

>>5196520
+1
Spray water vapors around the stock.

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>>5196498
>>5196480

You grab the BIGGEST STOCK!

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>>5196531
>>5196531
>>5196530
>>5196520
TOO LATE

The BIGGEST STOCK has been grabbed.

It's fine though, there weren't any lasers, it's all good.

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...

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>>5196536
KABLAM!

The entrance to the hall explodes.

It looks like it's time for the final, and the most fun stage of every good heist...

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>>5196539
...THE PART WHERE EVERYTHING GOES WRONG

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>>5196542


It's the Young Adult Avenging Society!

The third most popular spin-off team of the main Avenging Society.

>"Stop right there, criminal! Put that paper down and surrender peacefully!" Yells the flying lady with a big smile.

>"Who's this guy? I thought Evil Vermillion was after that stock" Whispers the big guy.

>"I guess the info we got was a dud. Well, whatever, let's bag this guy and go home." Says the guy with cyber arms.

You are about to get your ass kicked by a bunch of super powered zoomers. What now, super rogue? What do you do???

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>>5196550
Will our dashing hero manage get away with his prize?

Will the five experienced super heroes with amazing powers totally beat the crap out of him?

Will Mr. Crumbs ever defeat the unjust system and get a work permit?

I literally don't know. Find out on the next episode of the Violent Masquerade! Like. Tomorrow.

>>5196550
>"And who are you? Goodness, look how late in the evening it is. Now if you'll excuse me I have to send this to be investigate for any possible fraud of forgery, any complains can be put forward to the IRS's department. Good night". Threaten them with a force greater than all of you combined, the IRS.

>>5196558
If we can absorb water, what about the moisture from the air? Can we do that passively?
Instead of spraying jets of water, can we spray like a ton of mist to make the floors all wet and slippery?

>>5196612
Better yet: create a steam smokescreen!

>>5196550
>Mist the area with a steam smokescreen and leap out one of the windows... If there's, like, a convenient window washing platform or something. Hopefully there is. Hopefully we can even break through the glass.

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>>5196558
SHE

We have eight liters. We should jump out the window and slow our fall down like one of those water jetpacks they have videos of.

>>5196550
Rush at them and drain their moisture. Save the cyborg for last, since his cybernetic parts probably make him less dependent on water than the others.

>>5196674
This, I like. Maybe even try to make some time with >>5196560 while we order Mr. Scrumbs with go grab some random paper in a trash-can, so when we jump, we switch the BIGGEST STOCK with some random paper the wannabe heroes will try to grab on, while our buddy flies relatively near us but out of sight.

If this so-called Evil Vermillion tries to rub the BIGGEST STOCK we can tell the heroes where it is and try to make them go for the bigger fish.

>>5196660
IS
WIFE!

>>5196735
SHE...WILL PROBABLY BREAK OUR PELVIS!

Plan: Money is a pathway to many abilities some might consider Unnatural.
>Offer the team an IOU for one Bajillion dollars.
Guardian Angel can buy a new costume, Kung Fu Ghost can buy more Kung Fu lessons for himself, and possible get an Exorcism, Ultra Lass can pay the Litigation fees for all the kills that she has "racked"(Get it? She got Big boobies) up, Cyber Punk can get his Dj career off the ground, and Gothica can get more piercings, cigarettes and maybe enough to sponsor her own team of Goth themed heroes.

>>5196750
Is there a problem with that?
>triple digit kill count
EXPAND

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Your brain is working overtime as it tries to think it's way out of this situation.

A dozen of brilliant(?) plans rush through your head!

>>5196756
>Bribe them with Stock's money
Aren't they heroes? Can you really bribe them? Maybe if they are one of those "deconstruction of a genre" kind of heroes, where they are actually all bad people who kill and say "Fuck"! Then it might work!

>>5196560
>Pretend to be from IRS
Yes! IRS are thieves too, so they are likely to believe it! The guards downstairs were dumb enough to think you're a window washer, so maybe this will work too!

>>5196674
>Jump out of the window and use water propulsion
This could work! I mean, you never tried this before, but you've seen people do that thing on Youtube with water jetpacks. Is 8 liters enough? Ah, who cares, at least it's something that a cool rogue would do!

>>5196707
>Call Mr.Crumbs to get a piece of paper to switch it with the BIGGEST STOCK
It's complicated, but it's very much something a good rogue would do. Plus, it can work with other plans!

>>5196681
>Attack the super heroes
Right! The best thing about your powers, is that if you use it on an average person for about 4 seconds - they'll pass out from dehydration! That's a powerful ace in your sleeve, maybe even strong enough to win against 5 super heroes! Plus, fighting is fun!

>>5196750
>>5196735
>>5196660
>General horny thoughts
That's not a plan, but you can't help yourself!

>>5196660
wow! love it!

>>5196612
>>5196617
In theory, you could do that in the future, and maybe even more, but right now you're way too inexperienced. You can suck water with a touch, store up to 100 liters and then do power squirts from your hands - for now, that's all you got.

The window of opportunity is running out! Is there any more plans in that beautiful head of yours or are you going with one of these?

>>5196935
>Call Mr Crumbs and switch out the paper
>Pretend we're the IRS

He didn't pay his capital gains taxes that's a big CRIME.

>>5196935
Supporting
>>5196940

>>5196940
Good enough for me

>>5196935
>inb4 this was all just a prelude to us actually playing as Evil Vermillion

>>5196935
Ask muscle lady out on a date.

>>5196935
>Pretend to be from IRS
Can we make a tie and glases out of water to look more like them?

>>5197224
>Ultra Lass
>Not Gothica
Pleb

>Pretend to be from IRS

We're the Heroes of the Federal Government.

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>>5197232
no

>>5196935
>"Hi, hello! I am the tax man! Came here to investigate some of tax fraud going around! Boy, it sure is late! Now if you'll excuse me I have to send this to be investigate for any possible fraud of forgery, any complains can be put forward to the IRS's department. Good night".

You attempt to trick the five heroes!

Roll a 1d6! Who knows, maybe it will work!

Rolled 1 (1d6)

>>5197247

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>5197247
To be fair, I think the IRS also has their employee's wear masks

>>5197247
/dice 1d6

>>5197247
>I used to be Dependent Boy from the IRS super accounting team, but I wanted to rebrand, but my new costume is on backorder, you know how it is...

>>5197256
in the options bar write dice+1d6

Rolled 3 (1d6)

>>5197247

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>>5197253
Kung Fu Ghost: "Dude, really? You are literally wearing a thief costume. Like, it's comical how much you look like a thief. You look like a depressed Hamburglar going through a midlife crisis"

Gothica: "Hey, what's the "D" stand for anyways? Does it stand for a Dick? Are you some kind of Dick Man? Is that you gimmick? Is your gimmick that you're a Dick?"

Rolled 6 (1d6)

>>5197305
Ham up the act.
>"EXCUSE ME!?! Are you calling taxation a theft? You have no idea what kind of trouble that kind of wrong-think can put you in, young man! Also, for your information the 'D' stands for 'Deductible', thank you very much!"

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>>5197305
Ultra Lass: "Haha~ You're a funny villain, mister Dick Man!"

>>5197314
>Crazy eyes...

>>5197314
you can't trust a girl with freckles on her boobs i learned that the hard way freshman year of college

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>>5197314
"You have 5 second to comply~"

...I'm sorry guys, the IRS plan will just not work.

You have five second until Ultra Lass adds you to her kill count. Time for the plan B.

Which is???

>>5197321
>Hold up hand mirror to block her laser eyes

>>5197321
Well, there is a perfectly good window to jump out of. Would be a shame not to use it right?

>>5197321
>JUMP
>Use stock as a parachute, it is the BIGGEST stock after all. It should be enough to lighten our fall.

>>5197321
>Jump out the window, use water propulsion to cushion or extend fall
These DO seem to be some deconstructionist heroes, or at least Ultra Lass is, but I'm not sure they're the kind you can blackmail.

maybe later we can show Gothica what kind of Dick Man we really are, though

Anyway, KNOCK ON WOOOOOD!

>>5197333
+1
Mr Crumbs can pick up us while falling

>>5197333
+1
>Hold the biggest stock in front of you like a shield

>>5197333
We could just use our water jets to slow down our fall

>>5197370
Dude it's like 8 liter. But yeah I don't have a better plan so let's jump and hope that some combinatiostonk magic, robotic seagull and waterbending will be enough to save our asses.

>>5197377
Well, as long as we do it close enough to the ground, a strong burst could slow down our fall, right?

Not like we could use it against them anyway. They're too strong to be brought down by a normal jet blast.

>>5197321
>"EXCUUUUSE me? Are you the ones calling me out for my fashion choices?"
>Go with those anons plans on using the BIGGEST STOCK as parachute, maybe after deviate Lass Girl attack to a window by ussing the BIGGEST STOCK as a shield, and with the help of our powers and Mr. Crumbs trying to make it safe to the ground
>"There's a MF literally called KUNG FU GHOST, what's next? Karate Spirit? And Ghotical can easly be seeing near a [this world equivalent of Hot Topic] in the mall in the afternoon. And don't make me start with the others!"
>Fucking roast them while falling
>????
>Actually making it to the ground without any injury
>Victory

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>>5197327
>>5197333
>>5197353
>>5197377
"Too slooow~ Time for you to go, villain!"

Ultra Lass shoots her eye lasers!

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>>5198203
You hold the BIGGEST STOCK in front of you, like a shield.

Of course! "Hell" Class artefact like the BIGGEST STOCK can't be destroyed by alien lasers! You totally knew that. This was your plan and not just some dumb luck. Absolutely.

Oh, this laser sure packs a punch though, huh...

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>>5198207
...

>>5198203
>boob window
>boob freckles
>freckles
>muscles
>defined core muscles
Oh no she's checking out all my weaknesses.

>>5198207
Use your hydro powers to slow down your decent?

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>>5198209
You are violently launched through the window by the force of the laser!

You take a hit from your poor body smashing through the hard glass. You have 9 HP left! You had 10 btw, I never mentioned that.

Now you have 9.

>>5198219
>Use your hydro powers to slow down your descent

>>5198219
Grab our flying friend and use our power to slow our descend

>>5198219
What >>5198239 and >>5198242 said

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>>5198242
>>5198219
Unfortunately, your cyberbirdly friend is too weak to carry you.

But he's NOT too weak to carry a piece of paper you asked him to get in secret, using a device in your glove!

Wow! Mr. Crumbs even managed to print great looking copy of the BIGGEST STOCK! Such a resourceful bird!

"GOOD LUCK HUMAN, I DO NOT WISH FOR YOU TO DIE"

You take the (FAKE) BIGGEST STOCK and give the (REAL) BIGGEST STOCK to your bird! It flies away before any of the super heroes see it.

>>5198254
Mr. Crumbs is a boss.

Why, i've got an idea. Once we use our jets to land, drop the "biggest stock" and hotleg it out of there. They'll think we gave up on the heist because they underestimate us, and they'll be less inclined to chase us.

>>5198267
+1
This is brilliant

>>5198267
Supporting.

>>5198254

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>>5198239
>>5198253
>>5198210
>>5197370
>>5197377
>>5197335
You spin in the air to see where you're falling. Time seems to slow down.

There is a rooftop below, but it is still much further away. You don't know if you have enough velocity to reach it. And even if you do, the fall would still be devastating.

This is it, Dick Man.

Are you a real super rogue?

Or are you just a 30 year old man who woke up with a super power a week ago and decided to make something out of his sad, pathetic life?

Time to find out. You have 8 liters of water left, better use them well.

I'm gonna need two anons to do 1d6 rolls, and then we combine them.

If it's a total of 2 to 5, it's a failure. If it's 6 to 9 it's a success.

If it's a 10 to 12, something extra good will happen.

Rolled 5 (1d6)

>>5198273
Well, time to face the music

Rolled 5 (1d6)

>>5198273

>>5198277
>>5198279
>we got a 10
FUCK YEAH, KNOCK ON WOOD

>>5198282
You know the more you say the less shitty it sounds

>>5198277
>>5198279
Now that we're doing something cool we have to discuss the most important thing
What is our theme song?

>>5198284
https://youtu.be/oY5X1T_4-Q4

>>5198288
We're not trash enough to have a "gangsta" theme

>>5198291
We're the (thus far) unaccomplished and disappointing 30-year son of career criminals, anon.

>>5198288
Supporting this.

>>5198300
Yes, but i mean "trash" as in "thug". We're just a loser (until now) not gangsta

>>5198284
I say that once we pass over our childhood traumas (and depression) we go with
https://youtu.be/vyQZ13jobIY

I just like the idea of making a ton of steam and appear like a skeleton ghost and banish the same way

>>5198306
We literally grew up in a gang of super sea-muggers.

>>5198321
Pirates are not gangsta

>>5198321
More of a Pirate crew, and we are NOT using a sea shanty as a theme
Only thing I could really think of as a them is this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxpPcf2pizc
Kinda fits the whole "Intrigue but also cool" thing we're trying for

>>5198273
WAIT A FUCKING SECOND OP ARE YOU WHITE TOWER QM???!!!

>>5198362
You just realized that now? I recognized his art style from the first post.

>>5198370
Yeah I'm slow in the head. Speaking of, return to Kid when?

>>5198324
Beg to differ.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLTlH7KB0Xk

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>>5198362

>>5198380
Is it weird that I would want to romance Yes Man?

>>5198277
>>5198279
>>5198273
DUBS! DUUUUUUBBBSSSS!!!!!

>>5198454
It is weird that you would want to romance a piece of military hardware with a simplistic smiley for a tv head, yes.

Real men go for the secretive military prototype that injects you with drugs.

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>>5198279
>>5198277
As you plummet towards your death, something clicks inside you. You suddenly feel a rush of power you haven't felt before.

Starting at your stomach and all the way to your hands, there is a sudden sense of... high pressure!

You stuff the fake BIGGEST STOCK in your pants, spread out your arms behind you, and...

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>>5198492
...Release two pressurized jets of steam!

You've unlocked the power of STEAM ROCKET!

It allows you to launch yourself through the air in short, powerful bursts!

You spend 2 liters of stored water to propel yourself towards the roof.

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>>5198498

You do a cool spin in the air and use another 2 liters to soften your landing.

And you did it. You landed on the roof without a single injury!

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>>5198505
A newfound confidence surges through you!

Now that you successfully used your power out in the field, you no longer need to roll just to use it in the future! (same goes for your regular squirt attacks, that stuff is child play compared to this!)

You're a real Super Rogue now.

BUT, what now? Your awesome stunt surely bought you some precious time. What do you do?

>>5198510
>drop the "biggest stock" and hotleg it out of there

>>5198510
Time to get down from this place and get the FUCK out of here

Let's trick the heroes into thinking we abandoned or lost the fake biggest stock in case they think of hunting us down. Lasergirl was able to fly, so she can catch up if we don't put something on their way.

>>5198362
>>5198374
yeah! hopefully I should have more free time from now on, so maybe in the nearest future. wanna do this one rn tho

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>>5198514
>>5198513
Gothica: "GOD DAMNIT, you stupid alien bimbo!! He's just some looser with water powers, you could have easily killed him! I thought I told you to cut it out with your psycho bullshit!"

Kung Fu Ghost: "Good landing though! I thought he's a goner for sure. Oh, we should probably run after him? He still got the stock."

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>>5198559

"OH BOY, that was sure SCARY! This thieving business is just too crazy for a LAME LOOSER like me! I will just drop THE BIGGEST STOCK right here, run away and NEVER, EVER do any crime again! Those COOL HEROES sure showed me, woo wee!"

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>>5198560

*WOOOSH*

(you spend 2 more liters to land on the ground behind the building without dying)

>>5198559
>Gothica actually cares
W-wife!?

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>>5198561

Cyber Punk: "Huh. Looks like Ultra Lass was enough to scare this guy straight. Can't blame him.

I have a suggestion - let's grab the BIGGEST STOCK and get on with our night. We might still catch the trail of Evil Vermilion if we hurry up"

Wow! I literally can't believe it! You guys did it! The plan worked!

...just one last thing left to account for.

Ultra Lass's Bloodlust

I'm gonna need an anon to roll a 2d6 for a pure luck roll. 1-4 UL snaps. 5-8 UL leaves us alone, but only for now. 9-12 she forgets all about us.

Rolled 4, 2 = 6 (2d6)

>>5198571

Rolled 4, 5 = 9 (2d6)

>>5198571
Let's see what fate has in store

>>5198573
Oh, nice. She won't forget us, i guess. That's both good and bad.

>6
Could be worse.

>>5198517
>There's a chance White Tower could return
AW YEAH BABY now existential safety department when just kidding ...unless you want to bring it back

>>5198576
I don't know any of these. Personally, I just want to see this quest go through its natural duration. Its fun.

>>5198579
Enlighten yourself.

https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=white+tower
https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=existential+safety

>>5198580
It's so fucking amazing
I haven't laughed this hard in ages
Genuine 11/10 from me, unbelievable amounts of soul, have to ask what the inspiration is

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>>5198573
I believe it's time for a good, old fashioned EPILOGUE!

Ultra Lass looks off into the direction where you fled. A mischievous glint shines in her eyes

Ultra Lass: "Who knew such a pathetic looking human could be so resourceful! I am looking forward for our next battle, Dick Man"

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>>5198639
You climb into your apartment, completely exhausted from running for your life.

Wow! What a night!

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>>5198639
You crash into your armchair, melting into it like a soft, criminal jelly.

You did it. You're a real rogue. A SUPER ROGUE, in fact!

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>>5198644
Now for the fun part! Gotta think of what to do with the bajillions of dollars you now own!

How about your own criminal base! What kind of lair should we get? A castle? On the moon? With robot legs, so the castle can walk on the moon???

Leave your ideas down below!

>>5198648
Some old mansion in a cliff to the ocean

And surely our Super Rogue base is going to be built underground with access to the ocean

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>>5198648
>>5198657
"FREEZE! THIS IS THE NEW CITY POLICE!"

"YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR ROBBERY, SCUM"

"MOVE EVEN A MUSCLE, AND WE'LL PUMP YOU FULL OF LEAD, FREAK"

>>5198648
I'm a sucker for the classics - volcano base on a tropical island.
Either that or giant airship

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>>5198660

As dozens of cops pour into your small apartment, you suddenly receive a video signal on your visor.

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>>5198662
It's a video feed of an evil looking chair that is turned away, in a very dramatic fashion!

Familiar Voice: "So, it looks like you received my little present. I imagine you must be very confused by now, so let me walk you through it all..."

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>>5198666
"...HUMON"

>>5198668
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I was thinking about how we should do something nice for our Cybergull buddy for pulling such a clutch move earlier but you know what fuck him, time to join the local zoomer heroes and kick his feathered ass

>>5198670
Yup time for vengeance

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>>5198668
Mr. Crumbs: "Now work that little brain of yours and think back on this little heist of yours"

"Who was the one who pushed you in the direction of stealing the BIGGEST STOCK?" >>5194421

"Who was the one to hack all the Guard Bots a day in advance, so that they would let you in, no matter what stupid plan you'd come up with?" >>5194551

"Who was the one to tip off Young Adult Avenging Society with a false info, so they would show up just as you were stealing the BIGGEST STOCK?" >>5196550

>>5198254
"And who was the one to make a perfect copy of the BIGGEST STOCK, to switch it with the original, just as you were getting your ass kicked?"

"That's right, old friend. It was me. Mr. Crumbs."

>>5198673
"... Dude, WTF? We are friends"

>>5198673
Cry masculine tears and then re-absorb the water.

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>>5198673
>>5198674
>>5198678

Mr. Crumbs: "If it makes you feel any better, you really impressed me. I didn't expect you to make it out alive, let alone back home, completely unscathed."

"Of course, I always make plans even for things I don't expect. That's what real villains do, Dissolution. Or should I say, Dick Man?"

"Well, goodbye now. I doubt we'll see each other ever again. Don't feel too bad, that's how this game is played. A super rogue get's outplayed by the superior rogue
"

The video feed cuts off. The cops surround you.

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>>5198679
1 day later:

The Judge: "Alexander Kaminski, also known as a... eh... "The Dick Man", you're hereby sentenced to 10 YEARS in the Meta Human Prison of New City!"

>>5198679
Damn... After this me should call us Depressure, immarite?

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...HEIST 1 END!

Tune in next time, for the PRISON HEIST

>>5194190
Randy Cramer: Hybrid Soldier for The Earth Defence Force Secret Space Program 20 & Back, spent 20 years on Mars.

Randy Cramer comes forward to tell of his experiences within the 20 & Back program as a genetically and technologically augmented solider. During his 20-year tour of duty, he fought indigenous insectoids on Mars, patrolled the solar system defending Earth from potential invaders and sent on missions to other worlds. Through all of his harrowing encounters, perhaps his greatest challenge was being returned to civilian life and facing a flood of memories of a life in the 20 & Back. As part of his testimony, he submits to a Polygraph examination and answers some challenging questions. He says there's almost 6 million people along with e.t. races living on mars

https://youtu.be/zi7zN97ATiM [

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>>5198576
That'd be great, I do kinda miss those guys. I wish I had more time and less depressive behavior.

>>5198590
Glad you had fun : )
>have to ask what the inspiration is
nothing in particular, just random thoughts

>>5198686
This is canon now

okay, i now go back into my hibernation chamber, wacky prison adventures will start on Sunday! Look forward to:
new powers!
new skills!
new reasons to be upset!
and of course, the origin of The Dick Crew!

>>5198686
>>5198699
>Secret Space Program lore becomes canon because a spaz or bot spammed the thread

Hahaha, ye gods.

>Fine writing, as fine as the original run of the Boys comics, (Mental) Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles. So are we gonna be the dishwasher(yay table scraps), the washing machine(free clothes), The mop bucket(Janitors need help) or the shower(oh the things you'll see) in prison?

I wonder if that cyber-seagull is waterproof?

>>5198699
cant wait to develop a relationship with Ultra Girl.

As arch-nemeses I mean.

>>5198699
Can the Dick Myster dick down Wonder Lass?

I can't believe it. Our only friend betrayed us.

Seems like everyone underestimates D. Man. The Heroes first and now the bird. Well, it won't work well

K, now the plan for me it's to start lifting and gain some muscle in the prison and start overcoming our sadness in there, what do you think?

Also, I've got an idea: If we have the power of water and we can take the water out of peoples body when we touch them... I say it would be a good idea to know some boxing, and which each punch or kick we take some of the water in people to make them weak.

>>5198898
Thats still something were gonna have to learn how to do first most likely

>>5198684
Can drink some water with our dick in the showers

>>5198786
Dick MISTer perhaps

>>5198917
We could make a shank out of dehydrating pee into solid shards of crystal for the fights

Prison arc is always a must. Every villain has to pull off at least one "jailbreak" before they can be considered a SUPER villain.
Alas, we could've had decent dreams of wanting to fix the system using our ill-gotten gains so that none in a public wards program might suffer like we had, but had our dreams dashed at the last second.

>>5198917
From what I read, Qm already told us we can dehydrate people when we touch them. Some lifting and boxing should make the trick until we improve our powers to make that in some distance

here are some dehydration related ideas I got.

Super Storm: By throwing water into the air, Dissolution can effect the local weather to his advantage. High winds and low visability make escapes a whole lot easier at the cost of water.

Ice Blade: Since mist and steam can both be used. The water we store can also be used in combat through ice blade (or sheild). Nothing more stylish and gentalmanly than a 1v1 sword fight.

Mummify: This attack happens when Dissolution drains a human of all of its fluids. While not fatal, it will knock them out until help arives. Using mummify will perminatly prune anyone we steal water from.

Terraform: Dissolution can use large bodies of water (like oceans, lakes and streams) to manipulate the Earth via fracking.

Hydrogen bomb: Dissolution's got the power of chemestry on his side. Using the power of electrolysis he can break up water into hydrogen and oxygen gas. Hydrogen can be built up for massive explosions, while the oxygen can be used in non breathable situations. I have a feeling being underwater may be an exploitable weakness.

>>5199093
>Hydrogen bomb
I'm really liking the potential in this one. Dissolution knows his chemistry, so he might be able to pull this off.

>>5199132
Well, that would be a pretty fucking lategame ability, with how complex it would be.

yeah we can use our chemistry skills in prison arch definitely. I'm more thinking along the lines of becoming a Meth king though.

>>5199178
Drugs are brutish. We're an thief, not an hoodlum.

>>5199093
>Hydrogen bomb
Our ultimate weapon, the power to die in a really cool way

>>5199199
Well, maybe we could use it as a bluff
>If you don't let me go, i'm going to cause a hydrogen bomb explosion and take out both of us

>>5199244
You could also put hydrogen in capsules (for the prison arc you could go with mason jars) and plant them with remote detonators. That or just bluff that you made one with an empty jar for the charisma roll.

>>5199248
If it's not mixed with oxygen it's not explosive and getting enough gas for a decent explosion would require a vessel capable of handling some serious pressure

>>5199178
>>5199188
Toilet wine baron

>>5199813
Supporting.

>>5199813
Toilets in prison don't work like that no more, boss. Just use a big tin or something.

>>5199602
It's possible to do on a small scale with mason jars (ala a hand grenade), but if were trying to bust through multiple layers of concrete a higher voltage and stronger container is needed.

(small scale)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL4jq51L7GQ&t=360s
(potential for a larger explosive)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqjn3mup1So

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THE (MIS)ADVENTURE CONTINUES!

You're Alexander Kaminski, a 30 year old super rogue known (unfortunately) as the Dick Man !

You succeeded in your first ever heist, but was tricked and betrayed by a bird, who isn't even a real bird but is a robot or something. As a result, you were caught and sentenced to 10 years in Meta Human Prison.

It's been 2 months...

In this time you've made several, very important discoveries!