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>>5190116
Welcome to BONES QUEST--zero calories, ALL FLAVOR! Make sure to check out the following resources:

Archive Link to catch up with the story!
>https://lws.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Bones%20Quest

Twitter account for updates!
>https://twitter.com/DemBonez3

Imgur Page for quest and FAN ART! You make it, we display it!
>https://imgur.com/a/dvF3SCN

A HANDY PASTEBIN for INVENTORY, SKILLS, and MORE:
>https://pastebin.com/u/DemBonez3/1/TvtRhtJK

Rolls are handled by a 1d100--I take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS! Certain boosts and maluses will be applied based on the situation and existing skills. Describing your actions, write-ins, FANART and GENERAL CREATIVITY are all APPRECIATED AND REWARDED--we like to keep things LIGHT and CHILL here, so come on in and have some fun!

>CONTD.

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>>5190122
Just when you think things can’t get any more tense, someone forgets to pay the damn electricity bill! The modern, but cozy interior of your private bunker’s living room vanishes from sight as not just one, but every room in the joint goes dark! Tensing up at the sudden darkness, your gaze darts around your pitch-black surroundings while your pals spring into action!

“What the FUCK!?” Talbot roars with disdain! “You better not have done some ‘science shit’ to the lights, dork!”

“N-n-N-no! I’m sc-sc-scared of the d-dark!” Mutters the stuttering voice of Denise near the center of the room.

“Nobody move!” Tucker barks as you hear Kiki fumbling through her pockets beside him, “It’s just an outage–it’ll be back in a second!”

“Screw that-” Mitzi scoffs from across the circle from you, “Anyone got a lighter or something? Pretty sure I’ve got a flashlight somewhere…”

“Yea, just gimme a sec…” Art grumbles a few feet from where you’re standing. “Stan, you got anything useful in those pockets you wanna share?”

“Everyone just calm down!” Sybil orders, her position swiftly given away by a pair of glowing blue orbs. “... and will whoever’s grabbing me there please stop?”

“... sorry.” Eddie mumbles in an embarrassed tone.

Despite everyone’s solid suggestions, no one seems to actually do any of them. In fact, you can already feel your pals stumbling around blindly in the darkness! What the hell!?

“I’d say I was shocked, but at dis’ point I’d be lyin’...” Ly remarks as he pokes the ASTRAL PROJECTION of his head out from your body. “Any ideas, cupcake?”

Whether this is due to nerves, wicked intent, or their usual incompetence remains to be seen, but one thing’s for sure here:

It’s up to YOU to clean up this mess!

… also this damn RACCOON you’re holding is feisty! Protesting against you holding her by the scruff of her neck, LIL’ STANLEY jerks her surprisingly-heavy body around to escape your grasp, no doubt to steal a sip or ten of that DELICIOUS SOUP Kiki was cooking!

Looks like it’s your move here–the question is, what do you do?!
>TAKE CHARGE! ORDER EVERYONE TO COOL IT!
>TACKLE SOMEONE! DON’T LET ‘EM OUT OF YOUR SIGHT! (WHO?)
>JUST TAKE A FLASHLIGHT OUT ALREADY, CRIPES!
>RESTRAIN THE RACCOON!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5190125
>JUST TAKE A FLASHLIGHT OUT ALREADY, CRIPES!
>WRITE-IN!
grab a can of infinameat to distract Stanley

>>5190125
>>TAKE CHARGE! ORDER EVERYONE TO COOL IT!

Also flashlight.

It looks like the flashlight's winning out here, but just to be sure I'll leave this decision open until WEDNESDAY 5-6PM PST! Sorry for the slow start--still feeling the effects of the move a bit and should be back up to speed in a day or so!

Thanks for playing and hope to see you next time!

>>5190229
Dis.

>>5190125
>JUST TAKE A FLASHLIGHT OUT ALREADY, CRIPES!

>>5190229
>>5190256
>>5190792
>>5190874
THE TALLY:

>FLASHLIGHT: 4!
>INFINAMEAT FOR THE BEAST: 2!
>TELL EVERYONE TO COOL IT: 1!

You know what? I'm feelin' lucky here since we just kicked off a new thread. Let's do 'em ALL!

Writing!

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While your teammates fumble around the dark like a pack of blind people in a funhouse, you spring into action by chucking your pet into the darkness above you! Hissing with displeasure, LIL’ STANLEY’S impromptu flight leaves your hand open to retrieve both the TACTICAL FLASHLIGHT and CAN OF INFINAMEAT from your pockets!

Whoops, that’s a ROCKET-PROPELLED GRENADE. Better put that back…

With the correct tools in hand, you snarl a ‘COOL IT!’ that could stop a charging rhino into the inky blackness around you as you flick your flashlight on! Freezing with their weapons drawn in the beam of light like heavily-armed deer, your teammates watch with bewildered looks on their faces as you toss your light into your open mouth and use your free hand to cut open the meat can with your BONE CLAWS!

As the woodland critter faceplants into the now-opened can of mystery meat with an unsettling ‘SPLUT’, you retract your claws and spit your flashlight back into your once again hand! Now then, you hiss, glaring daggers at Denise as you catch her trying to crawl away, is everyone gonna be cool, or do you have to bust some heads?! ART?!

“I didn’t even DO anything…” The Rent-A-Cop whines as he slinks over to the relative safety of Sybil’s side with a sour look on his face.

And what’s the deal with the GUNS anyways?You continue as your pet struggles to gorge herself and continue breathing.

“I uh…” Eddie mutters, sheepishly stowing his REVOLVER into his pocket, “Er…”

“Just a little jumpy, boss.” Mitzi cuts in, stowing her glowing SCIENCY GUN into her sidearm holster with an apologetic look on her face. “Never know what’s gonna sneak up on us, y’know?”

“Yea,” snorts Talbot as he angrily crosses his arms, “like some kinda MAD SCIENCE RODEN-”

Before he can finish his insult, you and the rest of the gang (save for Lil’ Stanley, her face still stuffed away in a can) recoil in pain as the lights turn on again with a bunker-shaking groan! Stumbling backwards, you land in a heap on the floor just as four chimes sputter through the Cold War-era intercom speakers placed haphazardly around your pad!

>CONTD.

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>>5191283
https://youtu.be/zXhb596PlgI
“-s thing on? Christ…” An unamused voice groans from beyond the speakers. “What Third World pawn shop did we steal THIS piece of crap from, huh?” The sound of ruffling papers cuts the announcer off. “Oh WOW, a SCRIPT. Yea, REAL fancy… Show me that gesture one more time and see what happens, Claude. Yea, that’s right. Ahem… Attention all personnel–The Lodge has suffered a minor brownout. Do not be alarmed or exit the shelter–maintenance teams have been dispatched to assess the problem. Thank you for your cooperation. This message was brought to you by Good Boy Doggie Bones: we-okay, do I REALLY have to say thi-”

The question is interrupted by a brief scuffle. A few tense moments later, you hear the previous voice return to the intercom. “Alright, ALRIGHT! Okay, uh… ‘We were ‘BONE’ for this.’ Insensitive, mu-”

His answer comes in the form of another scuffle followed by another series of chimes.

“Guess dat’ answers dat’...” Ly remarks as the rest of the team’s vision recovers.

“Well,” Sybil remarks, “At least it’s nothing serious.”

“Yea right.” Talbot growls with a roll of his eyes. “These guys are the kings of pissing in your ear and telling you it’s raining. Case in POINT,” he continues, pointing an accusing finger at Denise’s prone form, “what the hell is SHE doing here?!”

Stomping between the two and planting your feet firmly on the plush carpet, you give your fellow Evening Sanitation Coordinator a disapproving glare! You were getting to that, genius! You see-

“HOLY CRAP!” He interjects, causing the others to stagger backwards in surprise! Whaaaaat, you groan! What’s his damn problem now!?

“T-t-TWO STANS!” Talbot exclaims, jabbing a finger towards your new pet as she manages to wrench her meat-covered face free of the can! Ha ha, you growl as Lil’ Stanley gives the crowd a warning hiss, very funny!

“W-wait…” Art mutters in a worried tone, “Wh-which one of them said that!?”

“Cut it out, guys,” Eddie groans in disapproval, “You really shouldn’t keep one of those though, Stan–they’re VICIOUS.”

Yea, you sigh as your new pet gnaws away at your forearm, you noticed!

“They carry rabies too.” Tucker adds as he takes a few steps backwards. “And parasites.”

“Nah…” Talbot scoffs as he strides over to give the raccoon a headpat,, “I ran into these lil’ squirts all the time in the vents at the lab–they’re kinda cute once they get used to ya!”

“They never bit you?” Eddie asks, daring to take a few steps closer.

“TONS of times!” Talbot shrugs with an unsettling eye twitch. “Never caught anything, though–guess I’m just tough!”

You give the critter a glare as she allows Talbot to continue petting her. Laugh it up, fuzzball!

>CONTD.

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>>5191285
Anyways, you continue, yanking your pet away from Talbot, you picked Denise up from Jail, okay? She didn’t escape or anything!

“Okay,” Tucker nods as Kiki continues sharpening her knife, “But what was she doing, anyways? Why didn’t we see her come in?”

“Yea!” Talbot adds angrily! “She’s got a lot to answer for, Stan! A LOT!”

You KNOW, okay? But if you’re gonna do this, you’re doing it the SMART way! And that means YOUR WAY!

Art opens his mouth to say something, but quickly reconsiders. Mitz is too spellbound by the woodland critter in your hands to say anything.

“And erm… what might that be, Stan?” Sybil asks, clearly eager to avoid mob justice.

Well, you begin,

>FIRST THING’S FIRST: SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT JUST HAPPENED!
>YOU GOTTA TALK TO TALBOT FIRST–IN PRIVATE!
>DENISE, YOU WANNA EXPLAIN TO THE CROWD?
>YOU’LL TELL THEM WHAT WAS GOING ON, OKAY? JUST CHILL!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5191286
>>YOU’LL TELL THEM WHAT WAS GOING ON, OKAY? JUST CHILL!

>>5191286
>>YOU’LL TELL THEM WHAT WAS GOING ON, OKAY? JUST CHILL!

>>5191308
>>5191314
>TELL 'EM!

Writing the last update of the evening!

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Why, YOU’LL tell them what happened, duh! You are the protagonist, after all!

“And you’ve got such a way wit’ words, too…” Ly remarks, prompting you to deliver a punch to your own gut. OW!

Like you were saying, you wince, there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything–no need to kill Denise… yet!

“H-ha ha…” Responds the dweeb in question through forced laughter, “Y-you’re such a k-kidder, Stan…”

Who’s kidding?! Seriously though, everyone had better take a seat–they might wanna grab a drink, too!

“It’s not gonna take that long, is it?” Art asks as he and Syb sit down side by side on a nearby couch. “We still have stuff to do, right?”

“Hmph! It can take forever for all I care!” Talbot grumbles as he slumps into a nearby loveseat! “As long as the Mad Scientist here gets what she deserves!”

The Mad Scientist in question shoots you a pleading glance. You’re no expert, of course, but you’re pretty sure she doesn’t want people to know about how you asked her to whip up some LISTENING BUGS to eavesdrop on your pals with.

… now that you think about it, you’re not sure if they should know either…

“Can we at least put the wild animal away first?” Tucker asks, still wary of the rabid beast messily devouring the remaining mystery meat out of the can in your hand. “Where’d you even find that thing anyways?”

Your ole’ pal DOCTOR DEVON, that’s who! She was a guinea… raccoon... for some experiments he was running!

“Doctor, huh? What kind of experiments?” Eddie asks, eagerly leaning forward in his seat!

“He’s a bit creepy at first, but really nice once you get to know him.” Art replies with an approving smile on his face! “Guy patched me up with some SERUM earlier… made from, uh, Stan’s favorite co-worker…”

“Hey, yea!” Mitzi remarks with a snap of her fingers, “Did he ever finish those tests on your marrow? Is that what this is about?”

Err, maybe, you shrug, denying her an answer. Besides, you segue, they wanted to know about Denise, right? You’ll start with that!

“OR you can just tell us everything.” Art suggests. Damn it!

How do you go about this anyways?
>COME SORTA CLEAN! YOU WANTED DENISE TO MAKE YOU SOME LISTENING BUGS! FOR YOUR MISSION!
>LIE! DENISE WAS GONNA MAKE EVERYONE AN ‘I’M SORRY’ PROJECT!
>DEFLECT! WHY ARE THEY SO FREAKED OUT ANYWAYS? DENISE HAS BEEN A GOOD GUY FOR A WHILE NOW!
>WRITE-IN!

That's it for tonight, all--had some plans this evening so updates were a little sparse. Should have more ready THURSDAY AROUND 4-5PM PST! Hope to see you then!

>>5191426
Too tired. I'll think up a good excuse in the morning.

>>5191426
>>DEFLECT! WHY ARE THEY SO FREAKED OUT ANYWAYS? DENISE HAS BEEN A GOOD GUY FOR A WHILE NOW!

>>5191426
>LIE! DENISE WAS GONNA MAKE EVERYONE AN ‘I’M SORRY’ PROJECT!

Gonna keep this open a little longer before rolling a tiebreaker. Seeya in a jiff!

>>5191426
>>LIE! DENISE WAS GONNA MAKE EVERYONE AN ‘I’M SORRY’ PROJECT!

>>5191426
>LIE! DENISE WAS GONNA MAKE EVERYONE AN ‘I’M SORRY’ PROJECT!

>>5191452
>DEFLECT!

>>5191454
>>5191897
>>5191898
>LIE!

The truth LIES within! ROLL ME 1d100+10 (BUNNY AND CINNAMON BONEUS) TO LIE YOUR BUTT OFF--'BONE'USES AWARDED TO WRITE-INS! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>5191920

Rolled 83 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>5191920

Rolled 15 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>5191920

>>5191933
>>5191937
>>5191938
>HIGHEST ROLL: 93!!!

That'll do'er! Writing!

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With an exaggerated eye roll, of course! Taking a few steps back so that everyone can get a look, you pair the gesture with the most irritated groan you can muster under pressure as you reluctantly hold out your free hand towards the sweat-soaked scientist on the ground.

Y’know, you growl as Denise’s clammy hand clasps yours, you guys can be real BONEHEADS, you know that?

“Uh, too soon?” Art interjects, backing off when you shoot him a disapproving glare. He doesn’t even know what’s happening here, does he?

“What’s happening,” Talbot snarls with a menacing crack of his knuckles, “is Nerdy Nelly here’s about to answer for everything she’s done to me!” Jeez louise, is he still pissed off about becoming an INDESTRUCTIBLE MURDER MACHINE? For FREE?

“Y-yea, well…” He stammers, clearly taken off-guard, “I uh… I mean when you put it like that…”

Look, you continue as you help the dork in question to her shaky feet, you get it, okay? She pissed him off and he wants justice–no one understands that better than you!

“Yea, but-”

But NOTHING, you snap! You know who ELSE gets it? THIS dweeb! Jabbing your raccoon-toting hand in Denise’s direction, the scientist recoils in fear as LIL’ STANLEY hisses at her between licking the mystery meat can clean!

“Still doesn’t explain why she was creepin’ around like a goblin, though, does it?” Mitzi asks, crossing her arms at Talbot’s side.

“AND gathering stuff!” Eddie adds with an energetic nod! “What’s she planning, anyways? She just made weird noises when we asked!”

FINE, you groan, they really wanna know what’s going on here? REALLY?

“I mean… it’d be nice...” Art shrugs.
“I honestly just wanna give her a swirlie, but sure.” Talbot grunts.
“I just came to see what the ruckus was about.” Mitzi adds as she squeezes some water from her still-damp hair. “I blame peer pressure, mostly.”
Okay, you sigh, giving Denise a faux-resigned look. If she catches on, she sure as hell doesn’t show it. The truth is, you continue as she takes cover behind you, Denise was working on something. Something that no one was supposed to find out about.

“S-Stan… P-PPlease…” The geek whimpers as her sweaty hands clasp around your ankle.

“W-working on something?” Tucker asks as the rest of the group listens with interest, “Wh-what?”

Adding one last sigh for good measure, you give them all a defeated nod before opening your mouth.

“Stan,” Ly hisses, “Don’t-”

>CONTD.

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>>5192022
She was working on an APOLOGY GIFT, okay?! And now you nosy jerks SPOILED it! Your sudden outburst coats the bunker in an eerie silence as realization dawns on your cremember’s faces!

“A-an apology?” Talbot mutters, eyes wide in disbelief, “F-for US?”

You respond with a series of disapproving tongue clicks. That’s right, you sigh, but now it’s all ruined. Nice going, TalBUTT.

The janitor opens his mouth to respond, but it’s too late–the seed of deception’s been planted! “S-so uh… W-what was the gif-”

“Are you serious, man!?” Eddie shouts, sending the tracksuited terror stumbling backwards! “You spoil the gift AND you wanna know what it is?”

“Gotta say, man,” Tucker adds with a frown, “that’s kinda low.”

“Kinda sad, really.” Mitzi nods, causing the color to drain from Talbot’s face. As the primary instigator tries and fails to form an appropriate response, you give Denise a sympathetic pat on the back. Guess it’s back to the dawning board, huh?

“E-er, th-the dr-drawing board? N-never mind…” She squeaks as she finally realizes what’s happening. “Y-yea! Y-you guys w-w-went and sp-spoiled the s-surprise! D-darn it!”

Throwing in a dejected snap of her fingers for good measure, the scientist turns your way to give you a surreptitious wink! Ew! Shaking off the resulting chills, you take the opportunity to take LIL’ STANLEY by the scruff of her neck and place her scrambling form back onto your shoulder! Seems like everyone here’s got some growing up to do! A LOT!

“I uh…” Talbots mumbles as the others, sans Sybil, awkwardly twiddle their thumbs and clear their throats, “I’m er… M-my bad, guys…”

“W-well,” Denise interrupts as she confidently adjusts her wide-rimmed glasses, “I c-can st-still whip s-something up… b-but y-you all need to b-BEHAVE!” She adds, jabbing a disapproving finger around the circle, “N-no peeking!”

A chorus of variations on the word ‘okay’ ring out from your teammates as a smug grin forms on your face. Yes, you think to yourself, that’ll do just nicely!

“Pretty smooth, cupcake.” Ly remarks with pride in his disembodied voice. “Nearly got me believin’ it too!”

>CONTD.

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>>5192023
As the gang looks for any excuse to, well, be excused, you notice a slight miscount in your usual ranks–Gus, you mutter with a raise of your eyebrow, he ain’t back yet?

“Nope…” Tucker replies, sharing a similar look with Kiki. “How far’s that PIZZA PLACE of his, anyways?”

Not far, you shrug as memories of oozing cheese, plush red booths, and excited chatter from the kitchen crowd your head. Even with the SKELETONS around, PIZZA CAKE is only a short drive from your apartment!

“We worried about the big guy?” Mitzi asks as she crosses her arms. “He does have a habit of showing up outta’ nowhere…”

Yea, you nod, he’s probably heading down right now with an extra-large meat lover’s and a liter of MR. PAPRIKA. He’ll be fine!

“In that case,” Sybil interjects, running a pale hand through her purple-highlighted hair, “Shall we make travel preparations? There’s only one more LIEUTENANT left, after all.”

“Yea,” Art nods, “and they’re underwater. Not exactly a walk down the block.”

Before you can respond, Kiki jabs the knife in her hand towards the kitchen with an irritated expression barely hidden behind her bangs! Right, you exclaim, the SOUP!

“Should be done soon.” Tucker explains with an apologetic look on his face. “But if we’ve gotta hit the road, then-”

The road will be there after soup, okay!? Besides, you continue, you just got back–you still have crap to take care of!

“Works for me!” Mitzi croons as a grateful grin appears on her face! “Gotta finish dryin’ off anyways!”

“Still don’t know how you won that breath-holding contest…” Eddie groans, sinking deeper into his seat. So that’s what was going on, huh?

As the rest of your team disperses into various rooms, you find yourself contemplating your next actions. After a few minutes of standing awkwardly in the living room like a total stooge, you ultimately decide to:

>GRAB TALBOT! HE NEEDS TO FESS UP ABOUT HIS MEMORIES ALREADY!
>HAND OFF THAT SERUM TO SOMEONE–MAYBE (WHO?) COULD USE IT?
>CHECK IN WITH DENISE–THAT WAS A CLOSE CALL!
>GATHER THE TEAM TO DISCUSS YOUR NEXT DESTINATION!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5192025
>>HAND OFF THAT SERUM TO SOMEONE–MAYBE (WHO?) COULD USE IT?
>ART!
Mr. "Let me use Boris the Bastards precious bone serum", Well if he wants Serum he can GET SOME!

>>5192038
>>5192025

Support

Gonna leave this open until FRIDAY 4-5PM PST, big day today! Thanks for playing and hope to see you for the next one--feels good to be back even if I'm still a little rusty!

>>5192048
>>5192038
Is that a good idea? I mean, I'm already wary of the fact that Little Stan has that shit in her. Who knows what the implications are. That serum would probably be safest hanging out wherever its least likely to be taken by anyone. In other words, in our pockets.

>>5192025
>GRAB TALBOT! HE NEEDS TO FESS UP ABOUT HIS MEMORIES ALREADY!

>>5192025
>>5192048

Yeah switching vote now that I think about it. I wanna hear Talbot’s tragic backstory.

>>5192025
>GRAB TALBOT! HE NEEDS TO FESS UP ABOUT HIS MEMORIES ALREADY!

>>5192025
>GRAB TALBOT! HE NEEDS TO FESS UP ABOUT HIS MEMORIES ALREADY!

We've been waiting two threads to hear this.

>>5192038
>IMPROVE YOUR ART!

>>5192117
>>5192124
>>5192552
>>5192654
>TALBOT TIME!

Writing!

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A sudden realization hits you like a foam bat to the face–Talbot, you hiss, he never fessed up about his memories!

“Say what ya’ will about da’ guy,” Ly remarks as you stomp off in the direction you last saw him head, “he’s pretty slippery when he wants ta’ be.”

Not slippery enough, you reply as you emerge into your bunker’s POOL AREA for the first time! Though not nearly as impressive as your boss’ garden, the pool’s clearly a step up from the one you had growing up! Black tiles surround a stout layer of river rocks bordering the water–the latter sitting with barely a ripple on top of even smaller blue tiles interlaced with glimmering seashells.

From a slit in the ceiling spanning the width of the deep end comes a waterfall–its flow creating a paper-thin curtain of water that descends to a cluster of sitting stones below. Peering past the cascade, you can just barely see what appears to be a hot tub sunken into the floor for a more natural appearance… save for the eerie green light shining from the bottom.

You’re just about to dive in when you spot a familiar crowd idling next to what you assume are doors to dressing rooms adjacent to the waterfall–specifically Syb, Mitz, Eddie, Art, and your target:

TALBOT!

All of which are still wearing their usual attire.

“Pop the cover off right now and I’ll prove it.” The man in question says with determination. “I don’t even need to put swim trunks on.”

“I can tell you with absolute certainty that even if you were correct,” Sybil replies, clearly eager to abandon the conversation, “You stand to gain nothing from stuffing yourself into this ‘secret passage’ of yours.”

“Uhh, apart from looking awesome when I pop out from the top of the waterfall?” Talbot fires back in an incredulous tone. “Artie, back me up here!”

“Even though I agree that it’s a stupid idea,” Art begins, exchanging a knowing glance with Mitzi, “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to see him try it.”

“Shit, I’ll give you five bucks.” Mitz adds, gesturing to the pool filter cover despite Sybil’s look of disapproval. “I’ll even pop the thing open myself.”

“Oh good, Stan’s here!” Exclaims The Goth in mock surprise as you approach the group! “Perhaps you’ll listen to her?”

“Whuh?” Talbot asks as you reach the circle. “Oh. Hey.”

Hey himself!

“Don’t tell me you don’t wanna check out this secret tunnel!” He continues, gesturing towards the waterfall’s origin. “Think of how cool it’d be!”

The only thing you’re thinking of, you snap, is that you’ve got a bone to pick with him! Or did he forget you were gonna talk? Sensing drama, the rest of the pool goers chime in with an ‘ooooh’!

“Sure,” He nods, waving you and LIL’ STANLEY away, “Just uh, just wait a sec, alright?”

For what, pray tell?

>CONTD.

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>>5192841
Talbot’s gaze shifts from you to the two other ladies. “Well-”

“If Stan needs to talk to you, you’d better go now, dude.” Mitzi interrupts as she crosses her arms.

“Come on,” he shrugs, “Stan can wait until-”

“We’re not changing until you go.” Syb says in a stern voice.

“B-but what’s the point then-”

Before he can finish, you wrap your arm around his and yank the janitor towards the door you entered from! No buts, you snarl as LIL’ STANLEY bites him for good measure, he’s not getting out of it this time!

“N-NOOOO!” He howls, fruitlessly clawing at the pool goers! “NOOOOOOOOOO!”

“Have fun, you two.” Art chuckles as the remaining three watch with smug grins. Kicking and screaming all the way to the master bedroom, Talbot only relaxes when you release your hold on him to close the door behind you!

“Seriously?” He grumbles as he takes a seat on the bed, “you couldn’t wait a little longer to whisk me away to the bedroom?”

No, you reply with a furrowed brow, you couldn’t! He’s been dodging you for long enough!

“Ugh,” he groans, begrudgingly reaching for his belt, “just put the friggin’ trash panda away first, will ya?”

You feel your cheeks go red hot as you chuck a pillow at your coworker! C-cut it out, idiot! You didn’t drag him in here for THAT!!

“Wait, really?” He asks with a hint of disappointment in his voice, “then why did you?”

Is he dumb or what? Tossing another pillow at his face, you give Talbot a gentle reminder: he was gonna tell you about his memories, remember?!

The Evening Sanitation Coordinator looks at you as if you just grew elephant ears. “... wha?”

This sonnovabitch… rolling up your jumpsuit sleeves even further, you hiss out a more pointed explanation: the shooting contest at the saloon, you goof! You won it–he promised to spill the beans on what he remembers!

“Remembers?” He repeats with visible confusion on his face, “What, like from before?”

YES, you howl, sending LIL’ STANLEY leaping from your shoulder and skittering into the bathroom! And he’d better not even think of lying, or you’ll clock him! Shrinking away from your fist, Talbot’s face lights up in sudden realization!

“Oh SHIT, you’re right! I totally forgot!” He gushes in a tone that nearly sounds apologetic! “Man, I’ve been tripping lately, huh?”

He can say that again! Now focus, you growl, impatience growing in your voice, because you’ve got a few questions for him!

“... like what?”

Well, you reply, voice trailing off in thought, you uh… hold on a sec…

>WHAT’S HIS DEAL, ANYWAYS? WHY IS HE SUCH A JERK ALL THE TIME?
>WHAT DOES HE REMEMBER FROM BEFORE HE BECAME A MURDER SKELETON?
>WHAT CAN HE TELL YOU ABOUT WORKING FOR TIM?
>HE REALLY HATES DENISE, DOESN’T HE?
>WRITE-IN!

>>5192843
>WHAT CAN HE TELL YOU ABOUT WORKING FOR TIM?
>HE REALLY HATES DENISE, DOESN’T HE?

>>5192843
>>WHAT DOES HE REMEMBER FROM BEFORE HE BECAME A MURDER SKELETON?
>>WHAT CAN HE TELL YOU ABOUT WORKING FOR TIM?

>captcha : mwstd

>>5192960
>>5192965
THE TALLY:
>WORKING FOR TIM: 2
>HATE DENISE: 1
>THE BEFORETIMES: 1

Writing!

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You know, it wasn’t too long ago that this guy was twelve feet tall, decked out in a menacing trench coat, and hunting you down like a jumped-up foxhound. Making yourself comfy by leaning on the wall, you start by asking Talbot what it was like working for TIM!

“I uh… I don’t remember much about that.” He mutters, awkwardly running his fingers through his red hair.

Bullshit.

“Okay yea, ya got me.” He quickly replies with a defeated sigh! “I think I ran into the guy a little after I uh… I woke up again.”

THAT gets your attention! He met TIM?! The janitor’s face scrunches up in annoyance. “Kinda? He wasn’t, like, there when those science dorks activated me or whatever, but I could hear him, y’know? Like he stuffed a speaker into my brain or something.”

“Sounds like da’ treatment Cliff an’ da’ others got…” Ly remarks, causing you to frown. So he could talk to him?

“Well I couldn’t talk to him,” Talbot says as he furrows his brow. “Otherwise I woulda’ told him where to shove it, y’know? But at the same time I… I just couldn’t.”

The idea of Talbot having trouble being a dick makes you giggle a bit–really?!

“Yea, really!” Talbot growls! “It was like those options were missing or something–like I couldn’t choose ‘em!”

You nod in understanding–you know what it means to be railroaded, that’s for damn sure. So he couldn’t tell him off… what could Talbot do?

“They gave me these commands…” explains the janitor as he drums his fingers on your bed. “Like I’d be walking around, right? Then out of nowhere I would just get this buzzing in my head to, I dunno, go to LAB A or something. Part of it was kinda cool because I’d always know the best route, but-”

Hold on, you interrupt, how?

“I just DID, gosh!” Talbot groans as if you asked him what color an orange is! “It’s like when you’re on your computer, right? Other people might not know where you keep, like, pictures or whatever, but you do because you’ve memorized the folder!”

You can’t help but raise an eyebrow at that. What uh, what pictures is he-

“Doesn’t matter. Point is, if I was commanded to go somewhere or do something, it’d just… direct me.” He explains. “We done?”

Not yet, you snap! What if he just ignored the commands? He coulda’ saved you a lot of headaches! His face scrunches up even more at your question.

“Aw man, that was the worst! Okay, so the commands would keep piling up, right? Like, I dunno, sidequests in a video game when they take up all of your screen space.”

Yea, you nod, you think you get that…

>CONTD.

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>>5193276
“But that’s not even the worst part!” He spits as if reliving it again! “The longer they sat there, the more you’d feel this… this BUZZING. Like your head was turning into a tuning fork or something!”

“He’s really nailin’ da’ metaphors today, huh?” Ly asks in a bemused tone. SHH!

“So you had to do ‘em.” He concludes with a shrug.

Or else what?

“Or else it’d get LOUDER!” He growls! “And, I dunno, maybe my head would blow up or something! Not like I could really try anything anyways–my whole body was, like, tuned into that crap, alright?”

You thoughtfully rub your chin as you stare at Talbot for a moment. So if what he’s saying is true, you muse aloud to yourself, then all of those attempts to kill you were-

“Not my fault, yea!” He interjects, clearly eager to move on. “There ya’ go–questions answered!”

So when he tracked you down, you continue, brushing off his prior statement, he just knew where you were? By memory? The janitor sinks a little deeper into the mattress as a look of discomfort slowly forms on his face. “I uh…” he mutters, “Y-you were a little different.”

Yea, you frown, you gathered! What’s this about him acting up when you had a close call in the mines, huh? That part of his ‘sidequests’ too?!

“No!” He shouts! “Well, yes! But no! But…” pausing to massage his temples, Talbot takes a steadying breath before looking you square in the eyes. “Okay, look: if I tell you the truth will you promise to not be weirded out?”

Depends, you hiss, crossing your arms across your chest, is it really gonna be the truth, or is he just trying to get you to go away?

“Yes.” He nods. WHICH ONE!? “Christ, the first one! Geez!”

In that case…
>YES, YOU PROMISE!
>NOPE, BUT TELL ME ANYWAYS!
>OF COURSE (THAT WAS A LIE)!
>FORGET IT–YOU DON’T CARE!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5193281
>>NOPE, BUT TELL ME ANYWAYS!

>>5193281
>>YES, YOU PROMISE!

>>5193281
>YES, YOU PROMISE!

>>5193311
>NOPE!

>>5193326
>>5193331
>YES, SHEESH

Writing!

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A sense of dread courses through your head as you wonder just what, exactly, would make Talbot give you a warning like that. Mulling the decision over for a moment, you respond to him with a genuine, if somewhat impatient, nod. YES, you groan, you promise, okay? Now hurry up and spill the beans–we’re gonna lose what little players we have if we keep talking for a whole other thread!

“We have players?” Ly asks, prompting you to flick your own ribs. Hush!

“Alright, you asked for it….” Talbot replies in an apprehensive tone. Taking another steadying breath, the ex-murder machine adopts the most serious expression you’ve ever seen. “When um… when… if I’m…”

You manage to blurt out the beginning of the word ‘TODAY’ before Ly flicks you in the forehead with your own finger! Ow!

“If I close my eyes,” Talbot continues with the speed of a snail made of molasses in December, “and I’m not thinking of something else…” The sound of his fingers drumming on the bed increases exponentially, “You uh… you pop up.”

You stumble as if you were just hit in the face with a tennis ball. Wh-wha?!
“Where ya’ are, what you’re saying, who you’re talking to,” He lists, counting things off on his fingers, “and uh… if you get hurt, well…” His gaze finally meets yours again. “I feel that too. Not pain, though–more like… I dunno, a ‘ding?’”

Anyone else would probably be speechless right now, but not STANLEY PARBLE! Pulling your metaphorical jaw off the floor, you slowly piece together a sentence of your own: d-does that mean he can do it… right now?

“Nnnnah…” Talbot replies with a scrunched up face. “Must be that BARRIER we went through on the way in, but I feel great--haven’t thought about you for hours!” He blinks. “Uh… I mean, against my will, or whatever.”

Err… wow. That’s all you can manage as his words sink in–that’s uh… that’s bananas…

“Yep.” He nods as he taps his sneakers on the plush carpet. “It uh… it only happens if I’m not thinkin’ about other stuff, though, so don’t worry–I’m not gonna creep on you or whatever…”

The room’s tension is so thick you could cut it with a butter knife. It fades for a second when you hear LIL’ STANLEY rooting around in the bathroom again, but it’s no use–things are still plenty weird! Do something, Ly!

“Nah…” Your skeleton mutters as you and Talbot try to look anywhere but at each other, “I’m still processin’ dis’ stuff too, cupcake…”

>CONTD.

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>>5193463
Just when you’re about to tell a joke, Talbot breaks the ice first:

“Since we’re being truthful and all, I uh… I wanted to say thanks.”

Still recovering from the last truth bomb, you shoot him a dazed look. F-for what?

“You really gotta make me say it?” He asks, clearly not comfortable with this exchange either, “For, y’know… saving me. Twice.”

You’re pretty sure it was more than twice, actually, but just to be sure, you give him a perplexed ‘huh?’ to get some more info out of him.

“I mean, back at the LAB you coulda’ just left me there.” The janitor explains, reminding you of your daring escape from the lab in the redwoods. “Don’t know how the hell you did it, but whatever you did woke me up back there… helped me actually think again.” Stretching his neck a bit, he continues as you gingerly take a seat next to him on the bed. “And then you took me with you–that was pretty dumb.”

Is he serious?! Without him you probably wouldn’t have escaped that tunnel, let alone took care of the DAM situation! A faint grin forms on Talbot’s face for a moment as you both recall the operation. “Y-yea, but like, what if I turned evil again, huh? Hell, what if I still turn evil?”

“So dat’s what dis’ is about…” Ly remarks, prompting you to raise an eyebrow. Huh?

“I mean… you even wasted that PEARL on me too!” Talbot continues in a shorter tone! “You had something that could, like, cure ANYTHING, and you used it on me!” His voice raises in urgency and volume with each word. “A-and then you’ve got that Curt jackass talking about thralls and crap, and, like, what if I just wake up tonight and I’m back to being a monster, y’know? A-and what if I lose control and mess someone on the team up!? Like ART?! OR-”

You’ve never seen him like this before, but if you had to guess you’d say Big T is pretty miffed about all this… D-do you just let him rant, or?

>JUST LET HIM VENT!
>SLAP HIM WITH A PILLOW! HE’S TOUGH-HE CAN TAKE IT!
>SHAKE HIM AROUND! EARTH TO TALBOT!
>USE AN ITEM TO CALM HIM DOWN (WHICH ONE?)!
>HUG IT OUT, BITCH!
>WRITE-IN!
K-K-KISS ON CH-CHEEK?

>>5193464

>Slap him with a pillow
>Say something motivational, like he's human now-- so there's no way he'll ever be back under Tim's thrall. And you'll kick his butt until he's back to normal if it ever did happen, which it won't!
>K-K-KISS ON CH-CHEEK?

Alrighty, it's been a whole day, but this might be a big decision--I have plans later on SUNDAY, but I should be able to whip up and update or two in the morning and later in the evening! Wanna give this decision a fair shake, but if it takes longer than expected I'll just run with the action that's been voted for.

Hope to see you then!

>>5193464
>>5193502 +1

>>5193502
supporting this

>>5193502
Some anon said it pretty well a few threads back: Human Talbot is definitely a dingus. But it's nice to know he actually does have good intentions, he just hides them behind arrogance and moronity. Pretty much exactly like us, now that I think about it.

But yeah, this.

>>5193502
>>5194020
>>5194026
>>5194053
>THE OLE' ONE, TWO, THREE!

Sorry, all, today became MAD busy! Writing now!

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Halfway through his ramblings, Talbot is interrupted by a pillow to the gob!

“OW! Who the hell do you think you are, DICK!?”

STANLEY-FRIGGIN’-PARBLE, you growl as you dodge his attempt to grab the pillow from your hands! Who the hell does he think HE is, huh?! Because you thought you were talking to TALBOT-FRIGGIN’-SCHUMER!

Your response takes Talbot more off-guard than the pillow did. “Wh-huh?” He asks in a tone that matches his bewildered face.

He heard you, you continue as you stuff the pillow behind your back! So now that you’re both sure his ears are working, how about he tries this on for size: the fact that he’s worrying about things right now? That dumb, but sorta endearing look on his face? All of the bragging, boasting, and stupid arguments? Those are all proof of one thing:

“Dat’ he’s a jerk?”

Well yea, but that’s besides the point, you mutter under your breath. They mean, you continue, that despite it all, Talbot’s HUMAN, damn it! When’s the last time he’s seen a THRALL or whatever worry about turning on his pals?

“W-well-”

You saved him in that lab for a reason, okay? And you used that PEARL on him for a reason too! And no matter what’s going through his head right now, you continue, egged on by the growing intensity and volume of your voice, you’ll be here ready to reign him back in again! Doesn’t matter if it’s a pep-talk or a kick in the ass–you’ll be there to punt him back into the NORMAL ZONE, and that’s a PROMISE!

Talbot stares at you speechless–it’s unclear whether he’s digesting your words or still processing them, but one thing’s for sure: you definitely left him flatfooted! In fact, for a brief moment you notice a softer, thankful look in the janitor’s eyes as you catch your breath. Something about his expression puts your body into autopilot, however, and before you can stop you find yourself leaning in to plant a kiss on the boy’s cheek–one that lasts too long to be considered a peck, but just short of being awkward!

All the same, you immediately recoil with a face redder than a tomato as Talbot’s soft expression turns to one of abject surprise! Retreating to the far end of the bed, you use your pillow as a barrier as the excess blood slowly flows away from your cheeks and your heart struggles to calm down again.

A-and, you stammer, not daring to look him in the eyes, th-that’s j-just to seal the d-dealPROMISE! You mean PROMISE!

“Golly, Stan,” Ly remarks in a bemused tone, “dat’s THREE now, ain’t it?”

Three WHAT!? Y-you’re just k-keeping your team in working order, you spit as you peek over the pillow at your bodyguard…

Only to find him looking directly at you!

>CONTD.

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>>5194870
You immediately start drafting insults. Comebacks. Ammo for the inevitable gloating and teasing. This is it, you mutter to yourself as Talbot turns your way with a dreamy look on his face, you’ll never hear the end of it once he tells the others! I-It was just another encouraging kiss, damn it, it didn’t mean anything! A gasp of horror escapes your lips as you consider the implications: if… if ART finds out-

This time it’s your turn to be interrupted mid-rant. Leaning in close, Talbot stares deep into your eyes as you find yourself catatonic! LY, you shout out in your head, DO SOMETHING!

And that’s when it connects–you barely even noticed the pillow slip from your hand. Smacking you upside the head with it, Talbot gives you a wry grin as he lets his weapon drop to the floor.

“Hate to say it, Stan, but you’re right…”

Bit by bit the tracksuited terror’s confidence comes back–from the brazen angles of his stupid hair to the cocksure look in his eyes. “Maybe I DO have some pieces of that shitheel LICH floatin’ around in me, and maybe I AM still a freak thanks to those nerds at the lab!”

You feel a warm, firm hand slap you on the back as your fellow Evening Sanitation Coordinator gives you a genuine smile!

“Sure, I might be much stronger than you now given what we saw at the saloon,” He adds as his hand lingers on your back, “but every time I’ve stood on the brink, you’ve been there to pull me back up again.”

He knows you threw that match, right? You can still totally kick his as-

“Don’t be a sore loser. Anyways,” he sighs as you consider the pros and cons of slugging him in the jaw, “I’m not good at this kind of stuff, so stretch those ears open and listen good, okay?” As Talbot leans in even closer, your murderous intent fades as your heart kicks into high gear again. “I uh… I’m glad… that you’re… you’re there. For me. Okay?”

You respond with a weak nod. O-okay.

And that’s when HE goes to kiss YOUR cheek!

STANLEY EMERGENCY SYSTEMS ACTIVATED! RESPONSE TIME RAISED TO MAXIMUM SPEED! REFLEXES BOOSTED ACCORDINGLY! ACTIONS REQUIRED–CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING!
>LET HIM! IT’S ONLY FAIR!
>EVASIVE MANEUVERS! LEAP TO SAFETY!
>DEPLOY COUNTERMEASURES! POSSIBLE INTERCEPTING TOOLS INCLUDE: PILLOW, RACCOON, OR ITEM!
>WRITE-IN!
INTERCEPT WITH LIPS!

>>5194874
>INTERCEPT WITH LIPS!

>>5194874
>DEPLOY COUNTERMEASURES! POSSIBLE INTERCEPTING TOOLS INCLUDE: PILLOW, RACCOON, OR ITEM!
push our shades down to block!

>>5194874
>WRITE-IN

Freeze up like a deer in headlights, start smiling dumbly like a schoolgirl after his lips leave our skin, and then immediately try and cover it up.

Looks like a three-way split here and it's a bit late on my end--I'll keep this open until MONDAY AROUND 5-6PM PST... Maybe earlier! If there's no clear winner at that point I'll probably roll a tiebreaker to keep things moving! We'll see what happens, though.

Until then, however, have a good week! Hope your Monday doesn't suck too much!

>>5195136
>>5194874

Ok, this is a fantastic write-in.
Switching to this.

>>5194874
>>5195136 +1

>>5195217
>Ok, this is a fantastic write-in
Shoot, now you got me blushing like a school girl.

>>5194893
>SHADE TACTICS!

>>5195136
>>5195217
>>5195230
>FREEZE!

Makes ya feel all warm and fuzzy, don't it? Writing!

>>5195756
I was tempted to vote the raccoon just because it would have been hilarious.

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ERROR: ‘SMOOTH MOVES’ NOT FOUND!
Feeling your mind go limp like a handful of cold chow fun, your skin prickles and your heart starts beating faster than a drummer in a metal band as Talbot’s lips plant a similarly-timed kiss on your still-red cheek!

If you were capable of forming a sentence, you’d probably mumble something along the lines of ‘y-you too…’ right now, but in absence of any cognitive function you instead let out a stupefied ‘nyeheheh’ until the boy pulls away. It’s only a few, blissful seconds later that you realize you’re grinning like a schoolgirl–not, like, you as a schoolgirl, obviously, but… okay, you get the picture.

Ly lets loose an uncomfortable cough as Talbot turns away to hide a face nearly as red as yours! “S-super!” He mutters as you let out another dopey giggle, “And uh, don’t, like, act like this is a big deal or anything… I uh… I give PROMISE KISSES t-to girls all the time, alright?!”

You gurgle something between a giggle and a swoon in response.

“Da’ HELL are those lazy NERVOUS SYSTEM bastards doin’, anyways!?” Groans your skeleton as you, in a desperate bid to escape from the current situation, flop face down onto the nearest pillow. With your air supply somewhat cut off by your self-induced smothering, you slowly regain control over your body… but just barely!

That… that was some PROMISE KISS!

“Err… R-real talk, though…” Talbot mutters as you continue to impersonate roadkill, “L-let’s keep that between us, yea? D-don’t wanna make anyone jealous…”

O-of course not! Breaking free of your plush prison, you rise once more into a sitting position still breathing heavily! If your friends found out…

“Yea, they uh… they’d just get the wrong idea.” Talbot says, finishing your sentence for you. “It’s better this way!”

Totally. TOTALLY. Adjusting your shades on your still-red face, you work up the courage to look him in the face once more. So, uh, is he good?

“Yea…” He replies, the word trailing off into space. “I just… You think that Curt prick was right? About TIM just, y’know, taking the wheel?”

No, you snap as your remaining bashfulness is drained by the sound of Curt’s name! You cured him with that MERMAID PEARL, damn it! That means he’s safe!

“Y-yea…” Talbot nods, “I guess you’re right..”

You narrow your eyes at his pensive face. Does he need an ass-kicking right now to clear his mind?

“Hah! Don’t start what you can’t finish!” He smirks, slowly regaining that stupid confidence of his!

… not that you’re relieved, or anything!

>CONTD.

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>>5195787
That settled, you let your posture relax a little as the two of you remain seated on the bed while LIL’ STANLEY serenades you with the sound of skittering claws and bathroom mischief.

“Dat’ don’t sound good…” Ly remarks, fishing for a fresh conversation topic. Nope, you agree, whatever it is, though, you ain’t cleaning it up!

“The raccoon, huh?” Talbot asks, sparing a bemused glance towards the bathroom. “That thing got a name? Because I’ve got one or two in min-”

STANLEY, you interrupt, preemptively using your ‘watch your step’ tone, and if he says ONE WORD you’re gonna knock his damn lights out!

“HAH! I owe whoever named her that a beer!”

Yea, you scoff, the two of ‘em can share a drink or two along with a KNUCKLE SANDWICH!

“You said it was an experiment, right? That mean-”

Yea, you nod as you spot two glowing orbs peering at you from the dark recesses of the bathroom, she’s not your average trash panda, that’s for sure.

“Cool.” The janitor remarks as the beast slinks back into the shadows. “Now I won’t feel bad about chucking it at the jerks who attack us.”

You smirk. He wouldn’t feel bad about it even if it DIDN’T have super powers!

“Nah…” Talbot shrugs with a sly grin, “I got a soft spot for critters like her. Must be wh-er, I mean…”

Punctuating his sentence with a forced cough, your ex-bodyguard looks your way expectantly. “We uh… we done here? I uh… I think I left a, uh… CONTACT LENSE over by the pool… better head back there to look for it…”

Yea right, you hiss! He has a point, though–anything else while you’ve got him here?
>WHAT’S HIS DEAL, ANYWAYS? WHY IS HE SUCH A JERK ALL THE TIME?
>WHAT DOES HE REMEMBER FROM BEFORE HE BECAME A MURDER SKELETON?
>HE REALLY HATES DENISE, DOESN’T HE?
>HE’S A COWORKER–WHAT’S HIS TAKE ON GOOD BOY?
>HYPNOTICALLY SPEAKING, IS THERE ANYONE ON THE TEAM ACTING FISHY?
>NAH, THAT’S IT. TAKE A HIKE!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5195789
>NAH, THAT’S IT. TAKE A HIKE!

>>5195789
>>NAH, THAT’S IT. TAKE A HIKE!

>>5195797
>>5195871
>TAKE A HIKE!

Sorry, got distracted by that Devour game. Good shit! Writing the last update of the evening!

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You got what you wanted… the INTEL, that is! Shaking your head, your eyes follow the tracksuited terror all the way to your bedroom door. Gently pulling it open, Talbot lingers just long enough to send a quizzical look your way.

“You uh… you comin’, or what?”

You’ll catch up, you reply in an unusually chipper voice, still not entirely sure what your next move is! Something in your response puts a smile on the janitor’s face, and with a look that says ‘your loss’, he shoots a lazy wave your way before leaving you to on your lonesome.

That was… educational.

“Heh. You wish!”

Still giddy from whatever just happened, you opt to let Ly off the hook… this time! Feeling your heart finally cool down from all the overtime it just pulled, you’re roused from your dreamy state by the silhouette of a familiar trash panda scurrying towards the bed! Before you can intercept, STANLEY has already tackled your side, her unusually-sharp claws digging at your pockets for another treat. So that’s how it is, huh? Nodding at your query, the raccoon eagerly rubs her paws together in anticipation of another feast–on your dime, no less!

Picking the beastie up by the scruff of her neck, you give her a stern finger-wagging as she struggles to gnaw it off! Pace yourself, FATTIE!

Holding the adorable woodland critter out of mauling range, you contemplate your next action: you’re pretty sure you hit all your meetings, so what’s next? Are you forgetting anything?

“Dat’ GALA thrown by Curt’s pals is happenin’ tonight…” Ly reminds you as your pet gnashes her teeth in protest. “Could be worth checkin’ out if lets us case the joint.”

True, you muse, but it’s happening TONIGHT, right? That’s, like, hours from now! And you’ve got nothing to wear!

“Yea,” Ly scoffs, “Dat’ was my biggest worry too!”

Well that didn’t sound genuine.

>CONTD.

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>>5195912
“Just thought I’d mention it, cupcake.” Ly sighs. “If ya’ ask me, I’d just hit da’ road–we’ve only got dat’ SEA WITCH left ta’ ice, an’ somethin’ tells me dat’ aint’ gonna be easy…”

He ain’t wrong–you’ve got that SEA CLOAK to breathe underwater, of course, but there’s no way you can fit ‘em all under that!

“Don’t think it works dat’ way…” Ly mutters as you toss the critter back into the depths of the bathroom! “There’s dat’ lead at da’ MUSEUM we can follow up–sounds like some of da’ witch’s goons headed there.” The skeleton borrows your face and scrunches it up. “Now dat’ I think about it, there’s those MISSIN’ PEOPLE, too… we oughta look into dat’. AndTRAITORS?”

Don’t REMIND me! Feeling your head start to spin from all the possibilities, you clutch your skull and collapse onto the bed–when the Hell did everything become so busy anyways!?

“When ya’ decided ta’ save da’ day, I guess.” Ly replies, borrowing your shoulders for a shrug. “Tends ta’ complicate things.”

No kidding!

Locking eyes with the ones menacing you from the bathroom entrance, you drum your fingers on the bed as you go over your choices one more time in your head. Whatever you wanna do, you say to no one in particular, you can figure it out once you’re done here, right?

Sitting upright, you ultimately decide to:

>CHECK IN WITH ONE OF YOUR PALS (WHO?)
>TAKE A QUICK CAT NAP!
>GATHER EVERYONE TO HIT THE DAMN ROAD!
>INVESTIGATE AN ITEM CLOSER! (WHICH ONE?)
>SCOPE OUT ANOTHER PART OF THE BUNKER (COMMONS, ARENA, ADMIN, SECURITY?)
>WRITE-IN!

That's it for tonight--should pick things up again TUESDAY AROUND 4-5PM PST! Thanks again for playing and hope to see you then!

>>5195913
>TAKE A QUICK CAT NAP!

Gonna leave this open a little longer to get a better consensus--otherwise we'll go ahead with that SNOOZE CROOZE.

>>5195913
>>TAKE A QUICK CAT NAP!

>>5195913
>TAKE A QUICK CAT NAP!

>>5195913
>TAKE A QUICK CAT NAP!

>>5195967
>>5196559
>>5196562
>>5196573
>SNOOOOOOOOOZE CROOOOOOOOOOOOOZE

Writing!

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You’re in the BEDroom, right? Why the hell aren’t you using it? Kicking your galoshes off your feet, you lift your legs onto the bed and make yourself comfy in the mountain of pillows behind your head!

“Now dat’ I think about it,” Ly remarks as you fish ALLIE GATOR, BEVERLEY BEAVER, THE MERMAID PLUSH, AND THE STUFFED STANLEY YOU GOT FROM THAT VENT URCHIN out from your pockets and place them at your side, “da’ last real bed we slept in was in dat’ CAMPGROUND, yea?”

Yep, you nod as you squeeze your stuffed menagerie close to your chest, and you barely got any sleep that night!

“Wouldn’t call last night too restful either…” Your weary bones add, prompting your mind to wander back to you and Talbot frozen in place at the JOPLIN WELCOME CENTER LOBBY. The less said about that the better…

“‘Spose we’re owed a few Z’s, yea?” Ly asks, earning a nod and a yawn from you. Damn right, you are. And if anyone interrupts you…

You send a warning glare in the direction of the bathroom. If the owner of the glowing eyes within comprehends, they sure as hell don’t show it. Concluding that that’s the best you’re gonna get, you allow your heavy eyelids to drop over your tired eyes, and before you know it you’re whisked away to an all-too-familiar place…
https://youtu.be/23qEArWaLjs
THE DREAM ZONE!
Where are we headed toni-err, today? Hard to tell in this concrete tomb you’re sleeping in… Anyways, be sure to WRITE IN anything in particular you’d like to see… lest the QM has to… IMPROVISE! DUN DUN DUUUUUN!

Alright, I’ll shut up now. Where you goin’, kid?
>A GOOD DREAM!
>A NIGHTMARE!
>A MEMORY!
>JUST SLEEP, DAMN IT–QUIT IT WITH THE DREAMS ALREADY!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5196604
>>A MEMORY!

the wedding?

>>5196611
Sure, I'll run with this.

>>5196611
>>5196733
>A MEMORY!

You friggin' asked for it... writing!

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https://youtu.be/hmnnywt-0NY
You’re buzzed, that’s for sure. Draining the remaining bubbly from the glass in your hands, you let out an exultant sigh as you feel the booze tickle you from your tongue to your tummy leaving you with a pleasant, if not somewhat dry feeling on your tongue. Not bad, you remark to no one in particular, not bad at all!

A faint sea breeze tickles your bare shoulders as you watch partygoers flit between white, billowing tents along the coastal cliffside like ants at a picnic. Your trusty FEMININE INTUITION tells you that you know some of them–that you’ve met some of them before, maybe, but as you pleasantly sway on your high heeled shoes, you find your hazy head coming up blank.

Great.

Gently tugging the hem of your SLINKY BLACK DRESS lower, you give the faceless masses a look of contempt–probably all of HER friends and family. As you twirl the empty champagne glass in your hand, an unpleasant thought occurs to you–you’re gonna have to MINGLE with them, aren’t you?

You subconsciously take another sip from your glass before remembering it’s empty. Dang it! Regarding the cup with a rueful sigh, you resolve to try and make the most of the situation–not like it’s your special day, after all. ‘Stiff upper lint’, or whatever dad would say…

You’ve been here before, though, haven’t you? That’s how you know where you went next…

>YOU WENT TO REFRESH YOUR DRINK! OPEN BAAAAAAR, DUUUUUUDE!
>YOU TRIED TO FIND YOUR BROTHER–HE COULD SPARE A FEW MOMENTS FOR HIS SIS, RIGHT?
>YOU BUMPED INTO YOUR PARENTS–THEY SEEMED TO BE HAVING A GOOD TIME!
>YOU HIT THE DANCE FLOOR!
>YOU FOUND SOME NEW FACES TO MINGLE WITH!
YOU CAN’T CHANGE THE PAST.
>WRITE-IN!

>>5196799
That's it for tonight, all--should be ready for more WEDNESDAY AROUND 4-5PM PST! Thanks again for playing and hope to see you then!

>>5196799
>>YOU FOUND SOME NEW FACES TO MINGLE WITH!

>>5196799
>YOU TRIED TO FIND YOUR BROTHER–HE COULD SPARE A FEW MOMENTS FOR HIS SIS, RIGHT?

>>5196799
>YOU FOUND SOME NEW FACES TO MINGLE WITH!

>>5196813
>>5197391
>MINGLEEEEE

>>5196875
>TRACK DOWN THE BRO

Writing!

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You’re single–that means you should be ready to mingle! That’s how the saying goes, right? You’ve been drinking since before the ceremony, so why do you still feel so damn wound up, huh?! Knowing that ART BITCH Sue loves so much, she probably forced him to grab, like, ORGANIC-GLUTEN-FREE-FREE-RANGE-CRUELTY-FREE-NON-ALCOHOLIC BOOZE or whatever flavor of bullshit she’s feeding him this week. And here you are celebrating her officially sinking her succubus claws into Sue!

You really oughta’ bug Syb about banishing hexes later…

Letting your spent ‘champagne’ glass fall to the grass, you stomp off in the direction of the other reception guests–it’s a long shot, of course, but maybe someone there can cure you of whatever the hell it is you’re feeling?

Man, nothing exciting ever happens in CLEARWATER…

Pushing your way back into the throngs of wedding guests converging under the countless white tents along the cliffside, you spot a few promising candidates amidst the sea of sheep:

>THREE PEOPLE ABOUT YOUR AGE STAND HUDDLED IN THE CORNER OF A TENT DRINKING AND CONVERSING!
>A BOOKISH, SLIGHTLY-OLDER GUY STEALS GLANCES AT HIS CELLPHONE AS HE SLOWLY ORBITS THE RECEPTION!
>A YOUNGER GIRL… HIGH SCHOOL, MAYBE? SITS ALONE AT AN EMPTY TABLE ENGROSSED IN SOME SORT OF PORTABLE GAME CONSOLE!
>AN OLDER WOMAN WITH ROSY CHEEKS AND AN ‘OLD-TIMEY’ LOOK ABOUT HER NURSES AN UNIDENTIFIABLE DRINK IN HER HANDS!
>HOLY SHIT, IS THAT A DOG!?
YOU KNOW HOW THIS ENDS.
>WRITE-IN!

>>5197673
>>AN OLDER WOMAN WITH ROSY CHEEKS AND AN ‘OLD-TIMEY’ LOOK ABOUT HER NURSES AN UNIDENTIFIABLE DRINK IN HER HANDS!

>>5197673
>AN OLDER WOMAN WITH ROSY CHEEKS AND AN ‘OLD-TIMEY’ LOOK ABOUT HER NURSES AN UNIDENTIFIABLE DRINK IN HER HANDS!

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>5197673

>1 = BOOKISH GUY
>2 = OLDER LADY

Rolling cause I feel like rolling

>>5197673
>AN OLDER WOMAN WITH ROSY CHEEKS AND AN ‘OLD-TIMEY’ LOOK ABOUT HER NURSES AN UNIDENTIFIABLE DRINK IN HER HANDS!

So is there any reason we decided to choose the older woman? I voted on it because it seemed to be a solid consensus and I had no better ideas.

>>5197756

I have no clue. That wasn't my first choice-- curious as to others' rationales though.

Well you'll have a bit more time to discuss it--feel like shit right now and I only blame a piece of it on booze. Will check back in THURSDAY AROUND 4-5PM PST-- hoping it was just a long day. Will probably write up Older Lady by then!

>>5197716
>>5197720
>>5197734
>>5197743
>OLDER WOMAN!

Alrighty, the older woman it is! Writing!

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Surveying your several, if not somewhat still limited, options, one partygoer sticks out like a clown in a herd of sheep: an impressively-tall woman wrapped in a black feather boa, a matching cocktail dress, and a wide-brimmed hat extending further than should be legal, you think. Despite her gaudy appearance, it takes you a moment to confirm whether she’s real or a trick of the light–though she trades a few polite greetings with the partygoers around her, you can’t help but notice something… off... about the air around her–like a mirage on a particularly toasty day.

You’re making a beeline for her before you know it. Sensing your approach from across the tent, she gives you a bemused grin from under her hat as she steals a sip from an amber drink in her black-gloved hands.

“Well now this is a welcome surprise…” she coos as you close the gap, “and just when I was growing bored, to boot!”

You respond to her greeting with a forced grin. That’s booze, right? Gimme a sip!

“Oho~”she replies with a sly grin, “Find yourself another glass, dear, and I’ll give you more than that...” Drumming her gloved fingers against her drink with a melodic series of ‘tink’s, the woman gives you an appraising look. “If I may be so bold, I doubt a mere drink will cure what ails you…”

You respond with a scowl–who does she think she is playing doctor, huh? You’re peachy aside from your ‘Nodrinkitis’ flaring up!

“Heavens, me, where are my manners?” She gasps, bringing a shocked hand in front of her agape mouth! “I’m HAZEL, dear, but everyone calls me AUNTIE... Not that I’m THAT old, of course!” She adds with a singular laugh. “Charmed, I’m sure.”

You’re not, but it’s a start, you reply with a growl!

“And you must be the groom’s sister STANLEY…” Continues Auntie Hazel as she takes another polite sip from her glass. That’s too good for a guess, you snap!

“That’s because it wasn’t one, my dear.” She replies, cocking her hatted head to the side. “We’ve met on several occasions in the past, but I doubt you remember many of them, if at all–You were rather young for most of them, you see.”

You shrug your pale shoulders–if you had a nickel for every relative who told you that today, you wouldn’t need to scrub bone dust for a living! Suspicions sated, but not wholly removed, you give the woman a sideways glance–say what you will about your other uncles and aunts, you feel like you’d definitely remember her!

>CONTD.

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>>5198565
“Yes,” she replies, cupping a hand to her mouth as a jovial barely manages to escape, “I DO tend to leave my mark on people–nothing new there!” Shaking her head with a smile, the woman takes a seat in a nearby folding chair and motions for you to follow suit. “Now tell me, dear, why do you look so glum on such a joyous occasion? It’s a wedding, not a funeral, after all.”

Yea, you groan, you NOTICED. Taking a seat next to Aunt Hazel, you give the passing wedding guests a look of disapproval as they shuffle around the reception. Who cares, anyways? There a law saying you have to be happy at a wedding?

“Hah! Imagine!” The woman laughs, mirthfully slapping her knee! “To be perfectly frank, Stanley, I don’t like them either… weddings, that is.”

You blink at the unexpected response. Come again?

“Yes, yes, it’s fine and all to be merry,” she explains as she waves her drink around in disdain, “but what are we celebrating, really?” Taking another sip from her drink, Auntie looks at you expectantly. “Well?”

You can’t help but be somewhat taken aback–is she serious?

“Gregarious as I am, my dear, I’m ALWAYS serious.” She answers with a finality in her tone. Well then… what ARE you celebrating, anyways?

>YOUR BROTHER GETTING HITCHED, DUH!
>SOME ART BITCH TAKING YOUR BROTHER AWAY!
>A UNION BETWEEN, LIKE, A MAN AND A WOMAN? SOME RELIGIOUS CONTRACT, RIGHT?
>YOU LOSING YOUR BROTHER TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DAMN COUNTRY!
NONE OF THIS MATTERS.
>WRITE-IN!

>>5198568
>SOME ART BITCH TAKING YOUR BROTHER AWAY!

>>5198565
>>SOME ART BITCH TAKING YOUR BROTHER AWAY!

>>5198570
>>5198582
>ART BIIIIIITCH!

Writing!

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Oh, you’ll tell her what you’re celebrating, you growl, clenching your fists at your sides as your booze-soaked blood begins to boil! You’re celebrating some ART BITCH snatching your brother away! Glaring at a few concerned-looking passersby, you continue your answer with a defeated hand gesture! I mean, you continue, did she hear what they said back there at the altar?! ‘Til death do us part!’ What the hell kind of sicko shit is that, anyways?!

“You’re celebrating the loss of your brother Sue,” responds the woman with an understanding nod. “And all that entails…” Turning her head your way, you just barely manage to duck under the brim of her hat as she leans forward to take your hand in hers. Uh… STRANGER DANGER?

“You shoulder quite the burden, dear, though no one else can see it.” Says your aunt in a sympathetic tone. “So why continue to carry it?”

You respond with a confused blink. Uh, Earth to Crazy Lady: you’re his sister, not, like, his dad or whatever! You can’t exactly say who he can and can’t marry, alright?

“Why not?” She asks, cocking her head to the side again. “Do you not have a say in your brother’s wellbeing? Do you not know who he is? What he values? What he dreams of?”

She leans closer. Close enough for you to smell the peculiar alcohol on her black-painted lips. You can’t place the flavor.

“Do you not want to save him?”

An icy finger works its way down your spine as you pull away from the strange woman.

...E-exsqueeze me?

>CONTD.

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>>5198621
A mischievous smile creeps across the woman’s pale face as the sea breeze picks up around you sending the tents and party goers into delighted disarray! “You feel it, don’t you? The wind is heavy with possibilities today…”

Craning her ear to the side, you find yourself copying the gesture. For a moment all you pick up is excited chatter. Music from the DJ booth. Waves crashing on the rocks below.

But then you feel it–a faint tingle in the air… like the buildup of static you feel standing next to an electric fence. Just when you start to really taste it, though, the feeling subsides.

Freaky.

“Yes…” Hazel muses as she takes another sip from her glass, “you feel it too, don’t you? Pure, undiluted POTENTIAL.”

She takes a deep, exultant breath as you try and fail to look like you aren’t sitting with her. What the hell is she talking about, anyways? And when are you getting that sip you asked for, huh?!

“You don’t want a sip.” Aunt Hazel explains in a weary tone. “And you don’t want your brother either, Stanley.”

Oh yea, you ask, thirty seconds away from clawing this bitch, and what, pray tell, does she think you want, exactly?

“Hmm…” She hums, tapping her finger on the side of her cheek in thought, “... What do you want, Stanley? Really?”

DAMN, SHE’S GOOD! She just turned that around on you! Now that you think about it, though…

What DO you want?
>FAME! FRIENDS! FAMILY! YOU DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE!
>FREEDOM! YOU WANT THE MEANS TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT!
>EXCITEMENT! YOU WANT AN ESCAPE FROM YOUR SHITTY, BORING LIFE!
>A DRINK, DAMN IT! YOU’VE SAID IT TWICE NOW!
>NAH, YOU AREN’T PLAYING THIS ANYMORE. BUH-BYE!
MEANINGLESS.
>WRITE-IN!

>>5198622
>FREEDOM! YOU WANT THE MEANS TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT!

This is the most STAN option.

>>5198622
>FAME! FRIENDS! FAMILY! YOU DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE!

I personally feel this one clicks with Stan's backstory the closest. She spent a solid portion of her childhood in and out of hospitals, ridiculed and ostracized for her unusual behavior and the things she did during her blackouts, and the only one who she found real comfort with until she got much older was her brother. Maybe it'd be better to say she doesn't want to be a weirdo. She might just want to be someone who isn't a burden to her parents and brother and/or who doesn't need to be patronized and looked down on the way Boris and others do to her. I can't think of a write-in that makes sense, though.

>>5198622
>>FAME! FRIENDS! FAMILY! YOU DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE!

Switching vote cause I like this guy's rationale. >>5198714

>>5198622
>FREEDOM! YOU WANT THE MEANS TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT!


Don't tell me the fairy is behind our blackouts

>>5198718
For all we know, dude, we could be the result of some kind of family curse one of our ancestors bequeathed unto us via their dealings with the fae. Or maybe the fae make a habit of sniffing out potential morons and/or desperate and hopeless folks to make contracts with later, kind of like a scout for baseball or other sports.

Bones is kill. Goodnight, my prince.

>>5198780
Whoops, got a little too into St. Paddy's Day and hit the sack! Anyways, should be ready for more updates FRIDAY around 4-5pm PST! Thanks for playing!

>>5198714
>>5198717
>FAME!

>>5198718
>FREEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM *BAGPIPES INTENSIFY*

Writing!

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Okay, okay, okay–you think you get it now: she’s drunk! Blitzed, even! That’s why this broad’s acting all mysterious and asking you these weird questions! Looking at your uh, ‘Auntie’ with a relieved smirk, you feel your inhibitions floating away knowing she’s not even gonna remember your name come this time tomorrow!

Well, you begin with a drawn-out sigh, if she really wants to know-

“I do.” She interrupts, watching you with renewed interest. Easy, Stan, you think to yourself, it’s just her booze talking! And speaking of, maybe it’s your past drinks talking, but a part of you feels somewhat emboldened by the situation–enough so that when you open your mouth again, something surprisingly truthful comes out:

You want to be remembered, you explain as you try and fail to look your conversation partner in her obscured eyes. By lots of people. A BUNCH.

“Fame…” Murmurs Auntie Hazel as the corner of her mouth curls upwards. “You seek renown.”

Yea, you nod! Except… well, no. Not exactly. You just… maybe this whole wedding thing is putting your life into perspective, you know?

The woman cocks her head to the side. “Whatever do you mean?”

You respond by gesturing to the party around you. Isn’t it obvious? There’s gotta be at least, like, twenty people here and you barely know any of them!

“Surely your friends are around here somewhere…” Hazel replies as she takes a sip from her drink.

You wish! First your friend Gus couldn’t make it because he’s working all day at his stupid PIZZA GIG! Then your bestie Sybil had some dumbass eldritch conference to attend today, so of course SHE couldn’t make it either! You’re always there when she needs you, so why can’t she spare some of her time to… To…

You pause to wipe the haze from your eyes as the woman watches with interest. Booze must be messing with your eyes, damn it!

“And now your brother will be spirited away to a whole new life.” The woman confirms in a solemn tone. “Do you fear being alone, Stanley?”

The word stabs your chest like an invisible knife. W-wha?! N-no, you snap, you don’t care what people do with their lives, okay?

“Why should you?” Hazel asks, drumming her fingers against her glass. “All that time and effort you’ve invested–it’s discomforting to know that it could all fall to pieces over one… what did you say? ‘Art Bitch?”

Yea, you mutter as you wipe the excess moisture from your eyes, exactly!

>CONTD.

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>>5199607
You can’t decide if you want to slug her or give her a hug–she’s not, like, a shrink or something, right? How does she get all this?

“No, my dear, I’m nothing like that…” She purrs, squeezing your palm a bit tighter. “But you don’t need to be a ‘shrink’ to see which way the tides flow…”

The two of you look down the cliff towards the ebbing tide below–its foamy surface tinted orange by the setting sun.

“Tell me, Stanley: would you like me to read your fortune?” Hazel asks with a hint of excitement in her voice. "No charge, of course... not for family, that is!"

How do you respond?
>SURE, WHY NOT?
>NO–I MAKE MY OWN FATE!
>GIMME A SIP ALREADY!
>I’M OUTTA HERE. ENJOY THE BOOZE, WEIRDIE!
YOU KNOW IT ALREADY.
>WRITE-IN!

>>5199610
>GIMME A SIP ALREADY!
We got Syb for that. We don't have booze at the moment. Booze always helps you make good decisions.

>>5199610
>>GIMME A SIP ALREADY!

>>5199610
>GIMME A SIP ALREADY!

>>5199675
>>5199680
>>5199682
>THE SIP, YOU DIP!

Writing! Got some plans after this, so can't promise another update til SATURDAY AROUND 3-4PM PST! Might be later than that, but we'll see how the day goes.

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Oof, you groan, you’re uh… you’re good, actually. You’re good. Ever since Sybil took that correspondence course on THE THIRD EYE that’s all she wants to do at your sleepovers nowadays! You barely even snuggle any more!

“Are you certain?” She asks, the previously-described excitement quickly fading. “Perhaps it’s for the best–one shouldn’t live their lives governed by some mere prediction-”

Yep, yep, yep, you interrupt as you pantomime a mouth with your hand! Now if she really wants to make you happy, you continue with a devious grin, she should make like a REAL cool aunt and give you a sippy already! It’s been, like, minutes since your last drink!

…Maybe HOURS!

“Take it from me, dear: this-” The woman pauses mid sentence as a new thought replaces her current one. “Well, I suppose a taste couldn’t hurt…” Slowly handing over the glass, you immediately feel a palpable warmth from the drink–this isn’t one of those cocktails you set on fire, is it?

“... no,” your aunt replies, “I’m afraid it isn’t.”

You probably regard the amber liquid for a good attosecond or two before banishing your inhibitions with a shrug. This shit’s got her speaking like some fantasy game NPC–surely it will lighten your mood a little? Bringing the drink to your parched lips, you hear the woman’s voice from behind the glass.

“All that you seek, my dear, you shall find–though not without searching first.”

The booze barely touches your tongue before sending a sensation akin to an angry weasel clawing its way down your throat!

“Be vigilant–for the road ahead is littered with distractions–some more daunting than the rest.”

Tears run down your face as you fail to wrestle the devil’s drink from your mouth… all while your face glows red hot with an unearthly heat!

“Confusion–heartbreak–betrayal: all of these cut deeper than any knife or bullet, but you must endure to find what you seek.”

You feel your breath catch in your throat as the glass finally drops from your hands. Just as the vessel crashes to the grass below, you hear a faint purr passing by in the wind…

“Take care, dear–not all strangers will greet you with kind words and a strong drink…”

Like the sensation you sensed in the wind, the woman fades from your senses leaving you with a stinging throat, a sweaty face, a broken glass, and a head full of questions.

Before you can answer any of them, your thoughts are interrupted by a tinking of metal against a glass–a timeless cue that even you can understand: food’s about to be served! Quietly creeping away from the glass’ shattered remains, you nearly stumble to your knees as a powerful gust buffets your shaky form!

Barely keeping your high-heeled balance, you stagger off in the direction the others are headed quietly pondering just what the hell was in that drink!

>CONTD.

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>>5199728
You awaken to the sensation of someone, or something, digging through your pockets. Ripping free of sleep’s clutches, you send ALLIE GATOR and her growing entourage tumbling to the floor as you bolt upright in your private bunker’s swanky bed! Sensing danger, LIL’ STANLEY’S blurry form scurries away from your hip with a bag of PICKLE CHIPS hanging from her jaws! Little creep!

Stumbling after her in a daze, you completely misjudge how much space you have as you topple headfirst over the edge of your bed and land in a heap amidst your stuffed animals on the floor! Groaning in pain, you give the retreating form of your new pet a menacing hiss as she retreats into the bathroom once more.

“Good mornin’, sunshine.” Ly remarks with a smile in his voice as you pick yourself off the floor. “You slept like a bear, ya’ know dat’?”

No, you grumble, wiping the residual sleep from your eyes, you didn’t... what’d you miss, anyways?

“Well it’s definitely later in da’ day…” Report your bones. “Not late enough for dat’ GALA Syb was talkin’ about, but it ain’t early anymore.” Borrowing your neck, Ly points your head towards a bowl of lukewarm soup forlornly sitting on your end table.

‘You looked comfy, so I didn’t want to wake you. Come see me when you’re up and I’ll warm it up! ~<3 Kiki’

Clearly. Gathering the STUFFED SQUAD and stuffing them into your pockets, you contemplate your next actions. These dreams just keep getting weirder and weirder, huh?

What’s next?
>TALK TO SYB ABOUT YOUR DREAMS OR SOMETHING!
>CHECK IN WITH DENISE ABOUT THOSE LISTENING BUGS!
>GET THOSE DAMN PICKLE CHIPS BACK!
>WARM UP THIS DAMN SOUP IN THE KITCHEN!
>PREPARE FOR THAT GALA!
>GATHER EVERYONE TO PLAN YOUR NEXT MOVE!
>TRACK DOWN SOMEONE ELSE (WHO?)
>WRITE-IN!

>>5199731
>WARM UP THIS DAMN SOUP IN THE KITCHEN!
Get some homecookin in our belly and then we can figure out what to do.

>>5199731
>WARM UP THIS DAMN SOUP IN THE KITCHEN!

>>5199731
>TALK TO SYB ABOUT YOUR DREAMS OR SOMETHING!

>>5199731
>>WARM UP THIS DAMN SOUP IN THE KITCHEN!

>>5199739
>>5199740
>>5199840
>A SOUPENDOUS IDEA!

>>5199837
>DREAM TALLLLLK!

Writing a quick update before shit starts happening today!

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Removing Kiki’s note from the side of the soup bowl, you deftly crumple it up and spike it into a nearby waste basket!

… whoops, missed. Let’s try that again.

Damn it.

SHIT!

“Can you just put it in already so we ca-”

Hold on, Ly, this is the on-alright nevermind let’s just put it in. Empowered by your current outfit, you skillfully place the waste inside the basket before returning to the bowl of soup sitting on your end table. As you pick it up, you hear again the sound of claws skittering across linoleum along with the telltale crumple of a bag of chips.

Guess you aren’t getting those back, are ya?

Creeping over to the bathroom door, you gently push it shut as the room fills with the sound of rapid crunching.

“Dat ain’t gonna hold her, ya’ know.” Ly whispers as you back away towards the hallway. No, you shrug, but it’ll be really tricky for her to get it open–just imagining that image puts a smile on your sleepy face!

Soup in hand, you march with purpose down the hall of bedrooms–noting that most of the doors appear to be closed.

“Guess da’ others followed our example, huh?” Guess your bones. Good, you nod, they’re learning!

With how quiet it is, you nearly drop your bowl to the floor when you find that you aren’t alone!

“Put the claw away, Stan!” Tucker admonishes in a hushed tone! “You’re gonna wake her!”

Whoops, you whisper, force of habit! Retracting your BONE CLAW, you follow Tucker’s finger over to Kiki’s small, peaceful form half-standing, half-slumped over a freshly-cleaned kitchen counter next to the oven. Is she, uh, is she okay?

“We tried to help clean up,” Eddie explains, revealing himself leaning against the back wall, “but she did the, uh… the knife thing.”

Both Eddie and Tucker’s eyes drift towards a particularly menacing-looking blade embedded in the wall not too far from your head. Oh.

“You gonna eat that?” Eddie asks as he gestures to the bowl in your hands. “Just chuck it in the microwave–she won’t mind.”

Chef Kiki gently snores as you make your way over to the microwave and shove your leftovers inside. Plugging in what you assume to be a decent amount of time, you lean against an empty space on the counter and turn your attention towards your three favorite looters!

>CONTD.

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>>5200089
So, you grumble, still reeling from your fitful rest, what’ja miss anyways?

“Soup, for one.” Tucker shrugs with a wry grin. “Then there was the pool incident-”

“You missed out, Stan!” Eddie gushes excitedly! “Talbot was convinced there was a-oops!”

Clasping two hands to his mouth, Ed pauses for a moment as Kiki stirs a bit on the counter. “He uh… he thought there was a secret passage leading up to that waterfall, right? We musta’ spent, like, twenty minutes yanking him out of the pool filter!” He continues in a much quieter tone.

“After that everyone decided to hit the hay.” Tucker concludes. “Figured we’d need our strength for later.”

A pleasant ‘DING!’ interrupts to tell you your food’s done! Removing the bowl from the microwave, you blow on the steaming grub a few times as Eddie dutifully hands you a fresh spoon. Thanks!

“BONE appetit!” He replies with a smirk! Ew.

“Anyways,” Tucker segues, giving Eddie a look of disapproval, “What’s the next step anyways? Not that I mind getting a little downtime.”

“Yea!” Eddie adds, completely forgetting to be quiet AGAIN! “We gotta go underwater next, right? Wasn’t there still a SEA DEMON or something down there?”

You’re working on it, okay? For now you just wanna have some damn soup! Bringing a spoonful to your lips, you take a hearty sip and smile with approval as the zesty mixture of broth, vegetables, and meat travels down your throat! DAMN, THAT’S GOOD!

Watching Kiki lurch upright like an extra in an old zombie movie, you and the others freeze in terror for a few moments before she goes back to sleep. Close one!

“Wanna take this to the living room?” Tucker asks, quietly pointing his finger in that direction. Sure, you shrug before leading the way over. Relocating to a few comfy chairs, you continue downing the soup as your pals slump into seats of their own.

What’s the play here?
>JUST ENJOY YOUR SOUP, DAMN IT!
>HOW ARE THEY HOLDING UP, ANYWAYS?
>HAVE THEY NOTICED ANYTHING WEIRD LATELY?
>THEY STILL PLANNING ON MAKING A MOVIE OF ALL THIS CRAP?
>WHAT DO THEY THINK YOU SHOULD DO NEXT?
>THOUGHTS ON THE REST OF THE TEAM?
>QUICKLY FINISH UP--YOU'VE GOT SHIT TO DO!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5200092
>>THEY STILL PLANNING ON MAKING A MOVIE OF ALL THIS CRAP?

>>5200092
>THEY STILL PLANNING ON MAKING A MOVIE OF ALL THIS CRAP?

Tonight became real busy, all----spent most of today finding replacement furniture for the new pad and now I've got plans. Should have more SUNDAY AROUND 10-11AM PST! Sorry again for the slow pace--should pick up once we're more settled-in.

>>5200092
>>THEY STILL PLANNING ON MAKING A MOVIE OF ALL THIS CRAP?

>>5200331
>>5200360
>>5200597
>MOVIE TIE-IN

Surprise--guess who's still got an update left in him? Writing!

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In between a few more spoonfuls of that CRAaAaAAZY SOUP, you can’t help but fixate on Eddie as he quietly retrieves that NOTEBOOK of his from his pocket and starts jotting down notes. GEEK ALERT!

“Pretty sure he’s jottin’ down ideas, cupcake.” Ly explains. Hey, yea, you grunt, these jerks are FILM STUDENTS, aren’t they? Are they still planning on making a movie of this dumpster fire, or what?

“Assuming we survive, yea!.” Tucker nods, eyes lighting up at the word ‘Movie’! “... Assuming, um, we still have your permission, of course.”

“No sweat, Stan–” Eddie chimes in as he looks up from his mad scrawlings, “Everyone’s gonna want to hear the lowdown on what went down here–you leave it to us and we’ll all be the talk of the town–and the WORLD, maybe!”

“The film world, that is.” Adds Tucker. “Which might as well be the whole world nowadays.”

You can’t help but feel a little giddy at that–assuming these nutjobs can pull it off, that would be quite the boost to your street cred! Stanley Parble, you mutter to yourself with a glint in your eyes: international sweetheart and hero!

… unless they screw up–then you’ll have to bust some heads! You give the two of them a warning snarl as you bring the bowl to your lips. How you manage to avoid choking is beyond you.

>CONTD.

File: comingsoon.gif (4.16 MB, 444x250)

4.16 MB GIF

>>5200666
“Don’t worry, with the way the screenplay’s going you’re gonna look great!” Eddie replies, waving your warning away with his pen-holding hand! “Still on the fence about including some of the finer details like your new pet and your, uh, ‘close call’ in the mines, but-”

“Hold on, Ed–what did we say when we kicked this project off?” Tucker asks with a furrowed brow. With a befuddled look on his face, the budding screenwriter replies in a tone reminiscent of a student who doesn’t know an answer: “Err… don’t give away merch rights?”

The director slaps his palm against his face. “... besides that.”

“Um…” Eddie sheepishly mutters as he frantically glances between you and his roommate, “Oh! No creative liberties!”

Tucker lets out a sigh of irritation. “... so why are you omitting crucial details?”

“Because people want excitement, right?” Ed retorts in an increasingly defensive tone! “Anyone can film a friggin’ documentary, Tuck–we’re in a position to, y’know, add the good bits!”

“Exactly!” Tucker snaps as his irritation grows to meet Eddie’s! “And if we focus too much on the wow factor, no one’s gonna believe it actually happened! Audiences want fidelity, damn it, not ACTION PORN!”

“Since when did you become MOVIE GOD anyways!?” Snaps Eddie as he slams his notebook shut!

“Since I was the goddamn DIRECTOR, bro!” Tucker growls, slamming a fist on his chair’s armrest!

Okay, besides being their leader and all this might actually have an effect on your future fame, fortune, and assets–you might wanna step in here, is what you’re saying.

Speaking of saying…

>YOU LIKE EDDIE’S VERSION! YOU WANNA LOOK LIKE A GODDAMN SUPERSTAR!
>TUCK’S RIGHT–YOU WANNA BE TRUE TO THE VIEWERS!
>CAN YOU GUYS FLIRT ABOUT THIS LATER? IT’S CLEARLY PISSING YOU OFF!
>YOU WERE HOPING IT COULD BE MORE AVANT GARDE, ACTUALLY.
>THEY’RE FORGETTING THE MOST IMPORTANT DETAIL: ACTORS. WHO’S GONNA BE YOU?
>JUST STAY QUIET AND ENJOY THE SHOW!
>LEAVE QUIETLY-- THERE'S NO STOPPIN' THESE TWO WHEN THEY GET FIRED UP..
>WRITE-IN!

>>5200667
>COMPRISE

Let's tell them that the movie should have a believable amount of action whilst still looking hella cool-- something to the tune of that one movie 'DECEASE HEAVY.' That way both Tucker AND Eddie are satisfied.

>>5200667
>CAN YOU GUYS FLIRT ABOUT THIS LATER? IT’S CLEARLY PISSING YOU OFF!

>>5200689
>COMPROMISE!

>>5200695
>BUT FLIRT LATER, OKAY?

Gonna clump these two together to keep things moving--apologies if this steps on anyone's toes! Writing!

File: noshoes.jpg (106 KB, 506x720)

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And step in you do! Cutting them both off by noisily slurping up the remainder of your soup, you set the bowl aside and scowl at the film students-do they mind flirting about this later? It’s clearly pissing them both off! It sure as hell pissed YOU off listening to them howl like this!

“Sorry, Stan,” Tucker apologizes in a somewhat taken aback tone, “But it’s important, you know? If we’re not on the same page from the get go, well-”

“The whole thing will fall apart...” Eddie concludes, face scrunched up with displeasure. “But don’t worry–it’s not like we’re actually getting pissed at each other! It’s just part of the process, ya know?”

You don’t, but you nod as if you do–gotta keep up appearances, after all! Anyways, you continue, steepling your fingers as you sink deeper into your comfy chair, why don’t they just, like, comprise on the whole thing? Do a little of both?

“Err… compromise?” Tucker asks as he and Eddie exchange concerned glances. “I mean, that’s pretty much what we’re trying to do, Stan-”

They just don’t get it, do they!? Shouting at each other about ‘audiences’ and ‘factors’ doesn’t get anyone anywhere! Feeling an idea train pick up speed in your head, you roll with it and add some dramatic hand gestures for emphasis! Just, like, add a believable amount of action that looks hella cool! You know, you shrug, like that DECEASE HEAVY flick! That one was based off a true story and it still kicked ass!

“Stan,” Tucker begins in a measured tone, “DECEASE HEAVY wasn’t a true story-”

Like hell it wasn’t! You heard about it yourself–couple years ago some terrorists took a whole Christmas Party hostage, but were taken down by one off-duty cop! Look it up!

“I mean, it was a good movie,” Eddie adds, “but it wasn’t a true st-”

Listen, you snarl, rapidly losing what little patience you had, you’ve been in the vents, okay? You’ve been there! That movie was 100% pawsible and they can’t convince you otherwise! Before either of them can get a word in, you deal a decisive blow to the argument:

Anyways, you mutter, waving them away with your hand, just, like, do something along those lines. Boom–easy money!

“Alright, Stan–” Tucker replies after taking a few moments to mull it over, “we’ll try to frame it like the, uh, award-winning documentary DECEASE HEAVY. Just for you.”

“Yea!” Eddie says with an enthusiastic nod! “You’re gonna love it! Assuming, y’know, we live long enough to make it happen.”

They’d better live long enough, you growl, appeased for the time being, because if they die before making this movie you’re gonna KILL ‘em!

Both students give each other a fearful glance. That oughta’ sort things out, right Ly?

“Gift of da’ silver tongue, cupcake.”

>CONTD.

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>>5201203
Now that that’s settled, you segue as you sit up in your seat, what’s the story on the actors? Because you’ve got a few notes to discuss about who’s playing y-

Before you can finish, you’re interrupted by a sudden burst of static from the RADIO CHRISTY GAVE YOU! Holding up a ‘one moment’ finger to Eddie and Tucker’s confused faces, you fish the gizmo out of your pockets and answer with a genial ‘y’ello-’

https://youtu.be/tY_kfFnyoic
“PARBLE!” Roars a voice you’ve heard way too many times today, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW!?”

Tumbling over the side of the chair from the sheer volume of Security Chief Blumenkrantz’ voice, you answer him in a weak tone as you pick yourself off the ground. You’re uh, you mutter, just going over mission details. For missions!

“Well put ‘em on hold!” Blumenkrantz snarls! “I was asked to keep you informed if any more disappearances happened, and guess what?


GUESS!”

Oh, uh, th-there’s been another disappearance?

“A-Plus, Parble. A scouting team missed their scheduled check-in via radio. If they followed their damn patrol path, they most likely went dark around CALACA STREET!”

“That’s where THE CROW’S NEST is, right?” Tucker asks, snapping his fingers in recognition! “The bar with the live music!”

A disapproving hiss drifts through the radio’s receiver. “I have no clue what your cheerleader just said, Parble, but you’ve been unusually COMPETENT as of late, so when you’re done playing grab-ass I need you to head down there and check in on our security team!”

How do you respond?
>WHY DO I HAVE TO DO IT?
>ANYTHING ELSE WORKING ON THIS?
>YOU’LL HEAD OUT IN A BIT!
>ANY CLUE WHAT WE’LL RUN INTO?
>WRITE-IN!

>>5201208
>>ANY CLUE WHAT WE’LL RUN INTO?

>>5201208
>YOU’LL HEAD OUT IN A BIT!
Break time is over, I suppose. I have a plan to catch these kidnappers, too. And it involves our two personal security goons.

>>5201520
>>5201208

Switching for convenience's sake!

>>5201208
>YOU’LL HEAD OUT IN A BIT!

>>5201520
>>5201592
>>5201626
>I'LL TAKE THE CASE!

Golly, anon's got a plan! Writing!

File: bingo.png (17 KB, 206x245)

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No sweat, you reply, giving Tucker and Eddie an ‘I got this’ grin! You and the team will take care of it before he can say ‘BINGO!’

“BINGO!” Snaps Blumenkrantz immediately afterwards, “You find those lazy bastard employees yet?”

Er, you mutter through clenched teeth, not exact-

“Then wasting my time and GET A MOVE ON!” Screams the Security Chief directly into your ear! Ow! “Oh, and one more thing, freak:” he continues as you struggle to listen through a still-ringing ear, “Whether you find them dead or alive, I want whoever’s responsible diced, you hear me? DICED!”

You respond with a confused blink before remembering Blumenkrantz can’t see you… or can he? Tabling the unsettling thought for now, you instead ask if he’s sure about that. He’s not gonna punch you if you waste someone or something with vital intel, right?

“You can do whatever the hell you want to them, Parble…” The Chief growls with even more gravel in his voice than usual! “Torture ‘em, talk to ‘em, hell, make the poor bastard a steak dinner if you feel like it–but whatever you do, you’re ending it by grinding ‘em into hamburger, got it?”

No sweat, you nod, these meetings tend to end in bloodshed one way or another! He can count on you!

“I damn well hope I can. Get it done, Parble.” And as suddenly as he called, Blumenkrantz’ voice goes silent. Giving your RADIO a brief look, you quietly stuff it back into your pockets and turn your attention back towards Eddie and Tucker.

>CONTD.

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>>5201982
So, you continue, is there any way they could, like, have someone who looks a lot like you play you in the flick? Because you don’t really wanna learn all those lines, but you wouldn’t mind telling people that you played yourself-

“Hold on, Stan,” Tucker interjects, “That call sounded kinda urgent, didn’t it? We should go.”

“Yea,” Eddie nods as he stows his notebook back inside his pockets, “gotta strike while the iron’s hot, right?”

You respond with your classic eyeroll. Okay, they need to take a chill pill here–whatever’s happening out there will still be around by the time you leave!

“And we’re sure of that because…?” Tucker retorts, clearly not taking his prescribed chill pill.

Because you know, okay? Look at those jerkass LIEUTENANTS you wasted–aside from GENERAL HAWKES, none of ‘em really got into doing their evil crap until you showed up! Coincidence? You don’t think so!

“Stan, CLAYTON and the others were rounding up and killing survivors.” Eddie mutters in a contrite tone. “They, uh, they’ve been doing lots of bad things in our free time.”

Granted, you shrug, but come on–this sidequest can wait, right? What about that GALA thing?

“Dey’ got a point, kiddo.” Ly adds, earning a growl for his efforts. “Da’ sooner we head out, da’ more likely we find clues, right?” Your skeleton pauses. “Then again, if we ain’t ready for whatever’s snatchin’ people…”

You’re the leader, alright? That means you’ll make the call! And that call is:

>ROUND UP THE TROOPS! WE LEAVE NOW!
>KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE MOVIE–THIS IS IMPORTANT!
>TRACK DOWN DENISE FOR THOSE LISTENING BUGS!
>CHAT WITH SOMEONE ELSE (WHO?)
>HEAD TO THE BAZAAR–MAYBE SOMEONE WILL TAKE PEARLS?
>SEE IF THE BUNKER'S QUARTERMASTER WILL HOOK YOU UP WITH MORE TOYS!
>WRITE-IN!

That's all for tonight, folks--should be back on MONDAY AROUND 4-5PM PST! Thanks for playing and hope your week starts off strong... or at least not that miserable!

>>5201983
>SEE IF THE BUNKER'S QUARTERMASTER WILL HOOK YOU UP WITH MORE TOYS!

>>5201983
>SEE IF THE BUNKER'S QUARTERMASTER WILL HOOK YOU UP WITH MORE TOYS!

>>5201983
>ROUND UP THE TROOPS! WE LEAVE NOW!

>>5201983
>SEE IF THE BUNKER'S QUARTERMASTER WILL HOOK YOU UP WITH MORE TOYS!

>>5201983
>SEE IF THE BUNKER'S QUARTERMASTER WILL HOOK YOU UP WITH MORE TOYS!

>>5202004
>>5202024
>>5202290
>>5202581
>LOAD UP AN' LOAD OUT!

>>5202235
>LOAD OUT!

Writing!

File: stanwatches.jpg (99 KB, 696x569)

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We WILL be ready! Because the CLEARWATER SANITATION COORDINATORS are about to LOAD UP!

Both Eddie and Tucker respond to your rallying cry with looks of confusion laced with a pinch of pity.

“We uh… I’m sorry–who?” Tucker asks, looking to Eddie for assistance and earning a shrug for his troubles. Did these maroons seriously forget your GANG NAME? Come on, now!

“Oh, right!” Eddie sputters with a forced smile! “Err… any chance we could, uh, edit that name in the movie?”

No, you respond flatly, there isn’t! Now go rouse the others, you continue as you rise to your feet, break time’s over!

“You got it, boss.” Tucker salutes as Eddie leaps to his feet! “When are we leaving?”

In a bit, you reply, you’ve got a RACCOON to wrangle, after all!

Slowly turning your head towards the hallway leading to the bedrooms, your eyes lock with two glowing orbs watching you warily from around the corner!
https://youtu.be/7wsTWT7tA7s

ROLL ME 1d100+5 TO WRANGLE A RACCOON WITHOUT GETTING TORN UP OR DESTROYING THE WHOLE PAD! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS! Feel free to write in any specific strats!

File: CD6B9D33-6863-4280-948D-7(...).jpg (67 KB, 637x854)

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Rolled 88 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>5202896
Time to wrangle a varmint.

But this time let's just lure her out with something else delectable. It'll get old real quick if this raccoon is constantly avoiding us.

Rolled 49 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>5202896

>>5202917
A can of infinameat had oughta work again.

Rolled 59 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>5202896

>>5202917
>>5202918
>>5202928
>HIGHEST ROLL: 93!

Writing!

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“No.” Replies the masked guard behind the bulletproof window. Oh come on, you hiss through clenched teeth, seriously, Paul?!

“Yep.” Shrugs the quartermaster from the safety of his stupid depot booth! “And it’s Paulo.”

B-but, you stammer, glancing between him and your entourage waiting behind you, y-you brought the whole gang! And you need STUFF!

“Well then that wasn’t a very smart idea, now was it?” Paulo asks as he taps away at a shipping console partially buried beneath a heap of forms, old coffee cups, and other similar debris.

He helped you out before, though! Come on, be… be a PAL-O again!

“Only did it before as a favor to Mitz.” He counters, sending a polite wave to the Rent-A-Cop in question as she barely glances up from her WATER POLO MONTHLY magazine. “Rules are rules.”

“And bullshit is BULLSHIT!” Talbot roars as he stomps over and slams his fists on the counter next to you! “We’re risking our butts for you pen-pushers and you can’t even help!? Do we gotta fill out a FORM for you guys to act human, or somethin’!?”

“I mean, I have a few here if you wanna get started on them.” Paolo grunts as he presses a handful of complex-looking documents against the glass.

“That’s it. This booth’s goin’ bye-bye!” Talbot growls before being placed into a chokehold by Tucker!

“Before T does something we all regret,” Tucker grunts, fighting to restrain the rabid janitor, “would someone please explain why we can’t requisition anything?”

“Procurement Clause.” Art explains. “Boss told Stan that we can loot and keep whatever we find outside, but we have to leave company resources for, well, the company.”

“Wait, really?” Eddie asks with wide eyes! “What the heck are we doing here, then?”

“I was pondering that myself, actually.” Paolo replies, barely looking up from his console monitor. “If you’re done messing around, would you mind stepping aside? Got an actual customer waiting in line. Took a number from the machine and everything.”

Following the quartermaster’s gaze, you find yourselves staring at a petite, but fully-armored SECURITY GOON waiting quietly behind your crowd next to a red ‘TAKE-A-NUMBER’ machine.

“Err, t-take your time! Heheh…” She mutters, white-knuckling a small paper ticket in her trembling hands.

“N-no, p-please,” Denise squeaks, suddenly reminding you that she exists, “Go ahead.. heheh…”

“BEAT IT, TWERPS!” Talbot roars as he fights to escape Tucker’s hold! “Don’t think I forgot about what I owe ya’!”

Watching both twerps recoil in fear, a part of you almost wants to let Talbot go… but your consciousness stops you. You don’t wanna get kicked out, after all!

“Your capacity fer’ basic empathy is sterling as always, cupcake.”

Thanks!

>CONTD.

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>>5203021
“If I may, Stan,” Sybil interrupts, placing a light, pale hand on your shoulder,“Perhaps a more… diplomatic approach is the solution?”

Well sure, you shrug, but you’ve also got a Talbot. And a Kiki. And a Raccoon! Gesturing to each in sequence, the pint-sized film student quietly pulls her FLAMETHROWER out of her pocket just enough to flash the grip as the latter looks in your direction with her head stuck in yet another CAN OF INFINAMEAT.

“Yea…” Paolo begins with a few muffled clicks of his masked tongue, “You can’t bring that thing in here, by the way.”

It was really tough getting this critter under control, you know! If you let it loose-

“No it wasn’t.” Art murmurs. “In fact, it was pretty easy-”

Yea, you hiss under your breath, but THEY don’t need to know that!

“I don’t need to know anything.” Paolo sighs with increasing irritation in his voice. “What you need to know is that rules are rules–I can’t give you anything. So, like, ‘sorry’.”

Steam builds up inside your face. H-he probably doesn’t even have anything, you spit! This is just one big act!

“It really isn’t…” Replies the quartermaster as he lazily jerks his thumb in the direction of the backdoor to the warehouse behind him. “I mean, we’ve had supply chain issues, but.. y’know.”

Your frustration grows as you feel your team’s eyes bore into your back. No, you whisper, you DON’T know! They’re right, of course–you could totally just raid a few shops on the way to that tip Blumenkrantz gave you, but this isn’t about supplies anymore–it’s about principles! You’re sure this jerk will crack somehow–the question is:

How do you crack him?

>APPEAL TO HIS NONEXISTENT HEART! YOU’RE TRYING TO SAVE PEOPLE!
>MAKE A DEAL–HE HELPS YOU, YOU STOP THOSE SUPPLY ISSUES!
>HAVE ANOTHER TEAMMATE DEAL WITH HIM! (WHO?)
>HAVE ANOTHER TEAMMATE TRY TO SEDUCE HIM, OR SOMETHING! (WHO?)
>THREATEN HIM WITH SOMETHING! (ITEM? RACCOON? WEAPON?)
>HAVE LY POSSESS HIM!
>GET SYB TO DO SOME MAGIC!
>REGALE HIM WITH YOUR VALIANT DEEDS!
>JUST LEAVE–IT AIN’T WORTH IT!
>WRITE-IN!

>>5203025
>>HAVE LY POSSESS HIM!

I'm feeling confident...

That's all for tonight, folks--should be ready for more TUESDAY AROUND 3-4PM PST! Thanks as always for giving Bones Quest a shot and hope to see you again next time!

>>5203025
>WRITE-IN!
Threaten to radio Blumenkrantz. If he calls it a bluff, do it and tell the old man that the quartermaster is being a jerk and won't help us track down the kidnappers.

>>5203035
I'll switch to this, but can Ly still do that in here with all that magical mumbo-jumbo?

>>5203502

Just when I was about to switch to bluff… either way, we’re gonna roll for this I think. I mean, if we’re getting Ly possession as an option, then it certainly is possible in the bunker.

>>5203512
Bones here! To clarify, you can definitely TRY to possess Paolo--Ly was able to possess that rat in the past and Syb blasted those rowdy security goons with ice. Just, uh, don't expect it to be as easy as the rat was.

Consequences might be worse, too. Hope that helps! Seeya after work!

>>5203035
>>5203502
>LYPOSSESSION!

Here goes something! ROLL ME 1d100-10 TO POSSESS PAOLO--I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!

Rolled 50 - 10 (1d100 - 10)

>>5203781

Rolled 12 - 10 (1d100 - 10)

>>5203781

Rolled 37 - 50 (1d100 - 50)

>>5203781
You are now a skeleton. You may only spook and scare.

>>5203824
I do not know why I put -50

>>5203829
Pretty hardcore move there, though, not gonna lie.

>>5203782
>>5203788
>>5203824
>HIGHEST ROLL: 40! YEOWCH!

Writing!

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With the NUCLEAR option, duh! Why are you even wasting time with this power-tripping glorified convenience store clerk anyways? Clearing your throat to get everyone else to shut up, you slowly cross your arms as a confident grin slowly forms on your face. So, you begin, he’s not gonna give you anything, huh? The quartermaster matches you with crossed arms of his own as he glances between you and his terminal.

“Not unless I see a pop-up on this screen in the next thr-nah, two seconds, that says “Hi, Paolo, this is the boss! I hereby authorize you to give the volatile raccoon girl whatever the hell her violent little head asks for!”

You give it a few moments just in case, then proceed with Plan B when it’s clear there won’t be any miracle pop-ups.

In that case, you shrug, perhaps he’ll feel a little different when your pal LY asks! When your layabout bones fail to pop out in their ASTRAL FORM, you cue him by clearing your throat a few times.

“Whoops, my bad!” Ly hisses as he drifts out of your body and over to Paolo’s!

“You can ask whoever the heck you want, kid,” He grunts, “I ain’t budging.”

We’ll see about that, you coo with a malicious grin! Sensing your intent, Sybil snatches your shoulder again from behind!

“Stan, DON’T!” She whispers in a curt tone, “what if-”

You motion for her to be silent as your spectral skeleton wriggles into Paolo’s back like some kind of… bony… worm thing. If his target senses anything, he doesn’t react–guess Ly’s just getting better, huh?

“Almost there…” Ly mutters as Paolo tries to discern what you’re so smug about. Just when he’s about to ask you outright, you feel a ‘click’ in your body as the rest of Ly merges with his target! BINGO!

For a moment, all is silent. You and your pals stare down Paolo in a scene reminiscent of a Western Flick duel. Still fueled by confidence, you finally dare to raise an eyebrow. Well?

“Well what?” Paolo responds with a stern voice.

Well, uh… you mutter, frantically looking for some kind of sign from your calcium-rich comrade, weren’t-

“You about to leave?” Paolo asks as he slowly cocks his head to the side. “Because I think we’re done here.”

It takes you a moment to realize your head is cocked to the side as well...

>CONTD.

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>>5204095
Ly, you hiss as you struggle to straighten your neck out, wh-what’s happening?!

“What’s happening,” Paolo explains in an unsettlingly-calm voice, “Is that you and your friends are leaving, right?” NO, you think, you’re not done here!

Yes, you reply in an equally measured tone, we’re leaving!

“What?!” Talbot sputters, still held in Tucker’s vise-grip, “y-you’re not just going to walk away, right Stan?!”

“Yea, Stanley,” Paolo replies as your facial muscles are forced into a genial grin, “Are you sure? You seemed pretty eager to stick around a minute ago.”

Yes, you nod, you and your friends! Invisible puppet strings yank your arm upwards into an awkward thumb’s up. And you won’t be back, either!

“Suit yourself.” The quartermaster replies, as the two of you share a noncommittal shrug. “Like I said, if you get permission from the boss-”

Then you’ll be taken care of, you recite, face still stuck in a Cheshire grin! You want to protest-to fight! But something rooted in your head, your body, and your very soul tells you, no, COMPELS you, to LEAVE.

So you do.

By the time you wrestle control of your body back, you’re already buckled up in a seat in the back of THE VAN as it trundles down the bumpy road. Where… what happened, you ask as sensation returns to your extremities!

“What happened,” Talbot huffs from the seat across from you, “is you bitched out, Stan.”

“You did seem rather compelled to leave, yes.” Sybil nods, massaging your shoulder from the seat next to you. “Are you well?”

Yea, you mutter through a lingering haze in your head, but… but that quartermaster-how did-

“Shouldn’t have tried to strongarm him, boss.” Mitzi grunts from behind her magazine. “Pal’s a stickler for the rules, y’know.”

“Not gonna lie,” Talbot adds with a look of disdain, “kinda CRINGE, Stan.”

Oh come on, you snarl, seriously?! You didn’t see him help out back there!

“I was getting CHOKED, okay!?” He fires back! “Tuck’s got, like, lunchbox hands!”

“Didn’t help that you were struggling so hard.” Tucker mutters from the passenger seat up front. “You pretty much choked yourself out.”

“Th-th-there’s a-always next t-time!” Denise hisses as she sits next to you! “I l-learned th-that in our Ch-Chess Nut d-days…heheh…”

Sensing a stirring inside of your bones, you ask Ly how he’s doing and earn a dull ache in your head in response!

“Eugh… yea, it’s gonna be a while before I try dat’ crap again…” He hisses in a labored voice. “Cripes, dat’ smarts…”

>CONTD.

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>>5204099
Nursing your aching head, you turn towards the driver’s seat to ask Eddie where you’re headed.

“CALACA STREET, right?” Eddie half-answers, half-asks! “Figured that’d be the best place to start.”

Sure, you huff, if you want to get AMBUSHED!

“Take it easy, Stan,” Art says in a placating tone, “We’ll stop just outside the area to form a better plan. No rushing this time, yea?”

“And I’ll keep watch for any… unwanted guests.” Sybil adds as she closes her eyes and starts muttering incantations.

“Great, you mutter as your fuzzy sister watches you from a half-eaten bag of chips in a nearby ZOOMMART CRATE. Oh good, at least she’s happy!

“So what is the plan here anyways?” Mitzi asks as she stuffs her reading material back into her pocket. “Going door-to-door? Giant Mousetrap?”

“Well,” Tucker replies, “The street itself is pretty long–might not be a bad idea to choose a landmark and go from there.”

“Didn’t you mention that bar earlier?” Eddie asks as he swerves around the remains of a burnt-out ice cream truck. “’THE CLOWN’S NEST’ or whatever?”

“’CROW’S NEST.’” Replies his roommate. “Nautical-themed. Pretty big in the local music scene, too.”

“The one with the ship riggings, right?” Mitzi asks with growing interest. “I think my friend took me there once–barely remember it, so that’s a good thing, I guess?”

“There’s also a PARK,” Tucker continues, “nothing huge, of course, but big enough to skulk around in.”

You nod–if you’re gonna skulk, a park’s a good place to do it!

When your remark earns a round of concerned glances from your gang, you quickly add a ‘in Blades of Zamarka!’

“What the hell’s a Blade of Zama-”

Anywhere else of interest,, you ask, deftly interrupting Talbot!

“There’s the HAPPY HOUND DOG HOTEL,” adds Eddie’s copilot, “a grooming place and a kennel. Might be a good place to store missing people?”

Just when you’re about to do the ole ‘Green Choices and a Write-In’ thing, Tucker’s face lights up as Kiki whispers something else in his ear. “Right, there’s also the old ART GALLERY! Haven’t been there in ages!”

“The one with the weird sculpture out front, right?” Art asks with a snap of his fingers! “Yea–one of my art classes gave extra credit if we went there!”

“You went?” Sybil asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Nah…” Art shrugs, “I was, uh… too busy. Yea.”

Sure, you scoff, playing WEEB GAMES, no doubt!

Dodging the balled-up chip bag he chucks your way, you contemplate the best option:

>SET SAIL FOR THE CROW’S NEST!
>PARK AT THE PARK!
>CHECK IN TO THE DOG HOTEL!
>GET THAT EXTRA CREDIT! TO THE ART GALLERY!
>YOU REMEMBER THERE BEING ANOTHER PLACE AROUND THERE… (WRITE-IN!)

Sorry, all, but today got really hectic for a variety of reasons--going to call it here for tonight and pick things up WEDNESDAY AROUND 4-5PM PST. Thanks for your patience and hope to see you next time!

>>5204101
>>SET SAIL FOR THE CROW’S NEST!

>>5204101
>CHECK IN TO THE DOG HOTEL!

Gonna let this sit a while longer, then roll a tiebreaker if nothing changes. Seeya in a bit!

>>5204101
>CHECK IN TO THE DOG HOTEL!
Have a feeling they won't show up in the same place as last time

>>5204204
>SET SAIL!

>>5204234
>>5204932
>CHECK IN!

Writing! One more Tiebreaker Rejected!

File: doghotel.jpg (360 KB, 1200x675)

360 KB JPG

DOG HOTEL,, you mutter with a snap of your fingers, gotta be!

“Hell yea!” Eddie exclaims as he brings the van screeching around a street corner, “... er, why, though?”

It’s a hotel, you explain, for DOGS. Who knows what they’ve been up to in there all this time? Your peers stare a bit, but no one dares to argue with your solid logic. The van is eerily silent for the rest of the ride, and before long you feel your ride roll to a slow stop.

“Alright…” Eddie whispers for some indiscernible reason, “We’re here.”

“No we’re not.” Tucker groans as he points his finger further down the lane, “It’s, like, three more intersections down.”

“Whoops.” Mutters your driver sheepishly as he starts the van again. Coasting a few more blocks, your ride comes to a halt once more further down the road where you finally spot your target: a towering eyesore of a building with the words HAPPY HOUND spelled out on a busted faux-retro neon sign dangling from a bone-shaped facade!

What really gets your attention, however, is the GOOD BOY SECURITY APC left deserted in the center of the road–its massive engine still rumbling with life!

“Okay,” Art mutters as everyone stares from the safety of the van, “I’ll admit it does look pretty sketchy.”

“Doesn’t matter what it looks like,” Talbot grunts as he makes to open the van’s doors, “so long as we kick the ass of whoever’s in there!”

“Don’t you mean save?” Mitzi asks as she begrudgingly rises from her seat. “It’s a rescue mission, right?”

“Yea,” Talbot shrugs, “but, like, if we have to kick someone’s butt, well…”

“Let’s just focus on what we know for now, hm?” Sybil asks, prompting everyone to cool it. “I can definitely sense life in there, but I can’t discern who it belongs to without some concentration…” Settling down in her seat once more, several wisps of blue light dance around the back of the van as Syb does her thing.

“So-”

“SSSH!” Art hisses, promptly shutting Denise up! Moments later, The Goth’s voice reverberates throughout the vehicle with an unnatural echo:

“Skeletons. Four of them. Two on the SECOND FLOOR, two on the FIRST.” She pauses. “and DOGS. At least SIX in the basement.”

Dogs, huh? It’s not like you’re not a fan, of course, but that’s not really what you’re looking for, is it?

“No,” Tucker frowns, “It’s not… Unless there’s a connection here somehow.”

“The image here is blurry…” Sybil mutters. “Maybe it’s THE LICH’S power or the density of WILD MAGIC in the air… whatever it is, that’s what I saw."

“Maybe we should check out the vehicle first?” Eddie suggests as he shoots an uncertain glance towards the APC. “Y’know… for clues?”

How about we hide the van first, genius!?

>CONTD.

File: bait.png (4 KB, 224x225)

4 KB PNG

>>5205072
One awkward parking job and a few hunks of cardboard camouflage placed onto the van later, you and the gang quietly begin to formulate a plan.

“So,” Art begins, “We’ve got the DOG HOTEL lead. Syb confirmed SKELETONS inside, but no sign of any kidnapees, right?”

“Heh,” Talbot chuckles, “Kidnapees.”

You can’t help but giggle too. Pee!

“... anyways, if we go that route there’s gotta be a back entrance. Or the roof," he adds, clucking his tongue. "That’s probably an option.”

“I’m still leaning towards the APC.” Eddie says with an obstinate shrug. “That’s where these guys were before they were taken, right? We should check that out first!”

“Sure,” Tucker scoffs, “And fall right into a trap…”

“He’s got a point.” Mitzi nods. “It’d be the bait I’d use.”

Speaking of bait, you mutter, tapping your chin in thought, why even bother rushing in anywhere? Why not just bait these kidnappers out ourselves?

“That’s the best idea I’ve heard all day!” Talbot smirks! “Let’s reel in these jerks with a trap of our own!”

“B-b-bu-but d-don’t w-we need b-b-bait?” Denise stammers. “W-wh-who’s th-the unlucky w-winner, h-hm?”

All eyes land on her for a moment, prompting another sea of sweat to rush forward from the dork.

… followed by a chorus of ‘nah’s from the gang. Who the hell would want to kidnap HER, am I right, guys?! As everyone but Denise bursts into laughter, you take the time to weigh your options. If there really are kidnapees here, you’re gonna have to tread lightly–who knows what will happen to them if their captor feels threatened?

What’s the plan?
>THIS DOG HOTEL’S BAD JUJU–LET’S RELOCATE TO ONE OF THE OTHER PLACES (PARK, CROW’S NEST, ART GALLERY)
>STORM THE DOG HOTEL! TAKE ‘EM BY SURPRISE!
>INFILTRATE THE DOG HOTEL! SNEAKY IS SAFE!
>LAY A TRAP OF YOUR OWN–YOU’VE GOT THE BAIT! (WHO?)
>INVESTIGATE THE APC FIRST–MAYBE THERE ARE CLUES?
>WRITE-IN!

Sorry, all, but gonna cut things short tonight too--today got really busy due to some apartment issues and I'm dog tired. Will resume THURSDAY AROUND 4-5PM PST-- hopefully with more than one update.

Again, thanks so much for your patience--still figuring things out on my end.

>>5205075
>LAY A TRAP OF YOUR OWN–YOU’VE GOT THE BAIT! (DOPPEL-STAN-GER)
decoy time

>>5205075
>LAY A TRAP OF YOUR OWN–YOU’VE GOT THE BAIT! (DOPPEL-STAN-GER)

>>5205079
Mind elaborating a bit? Can't tell if you mean having Syb cast a spell on Stan, have someone look like her, or send the raccoon out.

>>5205075
>LAY A TRAP OF YOUR OWN–YOU’VE GOT THE BAIT!
if you ask me having a a member of good boy security check out the van shouldn't look too suspicious too the skeletons, that and I'm as confused as Bones about this DOPPEL-STAN-GER.
That said having Ly check out the van is an option too

>>5205124
guess I was a bit vague, more specifically I want us to use our DISTAL DECOY Bone-Us

>>5205075
>LAY A TRAP OF YOUR OWN–YOU’VE GOT THE BAIT! (WHO?)

Mitz and Art naturally. Who else would show up but a pair of goodboy goons to look for their coworkers. Have them slap their helmets on and go look around. If these folks like kidnapping goodboy security, then they're bound to go after them.